1
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:14,834
[gentle music playing]

2
00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:31,543
[dog barking]

3
00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:33,626
[gentle music continues]

4
00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:36,376
[bell jingles]

5
00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:39,876
[door closes]

6
00:00:47,751 --> 00:00:49,084
Two Pop-Tarts, please.

7
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,584
Leave the box.

8
00:00:53,376 --> 00:00:55,626
- Tough day?
- You don't wanna know.

9
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:03,001
"One day, Grandma Kellogg,
while baking pies for her family,

10
00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:05,251
found she had
some extra crust and filling."

11
00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,876
"So, she put them together
into little tarts."

12
00:01:07,876 --> 00:01:10,793
"They were so popular,
she called it the Pop-Tart."

13
00:01:12,751 --> 00:01:14,918
Wow. That's a pretty good story.

14
00:01:14,918 --> 00:01:16,918
[man] You think so? Bunch of baloney.

15
00:01:17,918 --> 00:01:19,334
It's on the box, mister.

16
00:01:20,543 --> 00:01:23,001
Yeah, well, that ain't what happened, kid.

17
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,084
How do you know?

18
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,543
'Cause I write what's on those boxes.

19
00:01:35,084 --> 00:01:36,584
You wanna know the real story?

20
00:01:37,418 --> 00:01:38,501
Nope.

21
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,209
Come on. It's a good one.

22
00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:44,584
All right. But make it quick.

23
00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:46,918
Well, in the early '60s,

24
00:01:46,918 --> 00:01:50,168
the American morning
was defined by milk and cereal.

25
00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:51,918
[kids speaking indistinctly]

26
00:01:51,918 --> 00:01:54,793
[man] <i>Our milkman was named Mike.
He was a swell guy.</i>

27
00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:56,209
[dog barking]

28
00:01:56,209 --> 00:01:58,626
[man] <i>And our little town
captured the imagination</i>

29
00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:02,001
<i>of every breakfast-loving
American kid just like you.</i>

30
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:04,543
<i>Battle Creek, Michigan,</i>

31
00:02:04,543 --> 00:02:08,126
<i>the home of the two
undisputed giants of the cereal world,</i>

32
00:02:08,126 --> 00:02:09,126
<i>Kellogg's</i>

33
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:10,668
<i>and Post.</i>

34
00:02:11,168 --> 00:02:12,668
<i>And battle they did.</i>

35
00:02:12,668 --> 00:02:15,126
<i>Week after week, bowl after bowl,</i>

36
00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:18,209
<i>Post and Kellogg's fought
tooth and tongue to win.</i>

37
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:20,543
<i>But a spoon was about to get bent</i>

38
00:02:20,543 --> 00:02:23,543
<i>when a hot, sweet rectangle
popped on the scene,</i>

39
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,959
<i>threatening to upend
America's breakfast table forever.</i>

40
00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:33,709
So good.

41
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:35,043
Morning, Mr. Kellogg.

42
00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:38,459
Oh! Great numbers last week, Bob.
You look at these demos?

43
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,543
We beat Alpha-Bits
in four-to-six-year-olds.

44
00:02:41,543 --> 00:02:44,376
Letters, bad idea.
Don't make 'em think. They wanna eat.

45
00:02:44,376 --> 00:02:49,001
Did you read about the boy in Bloomington
who used the letters to spell "ass"?

46
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:49,918
Horrible.

47
00:02:49,918 --> 00:02:51,501
And that's on his permanent record.

48
00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:53,168
- Good luck getting a job.
- Hmm.

49
00:02:53,168 --> 00:02:55,584
Hey, did you get my memo
about the frogman prize inside?

50
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:56,876
Some kids are eating them.

51
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,293
{\an8}If they're frogmen,
they'll find their way out.

52
00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:01,043
Did you look in on Tony?

53
00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:02,168
[Bob] On my way now.

54
00:03:02,168 --> 00:03:03,376
Keep him happy.

55
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:06,334
Ooh. Vietnam. That seems like a good idea.

56
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,543
[bell rings]

57
00:03:07,543 --> 00:03:10,543
[mascot] Wanna know what puts
a toothy grin on this tiger's face?

58
00:03:11,043 --> 00:03:13,459
{\an8}Kellogg's Sugar Frosted Flakes.

59
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,626
{\an8}They're so right.

60
00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:18,626
[director] Thurl, can you hit
the "so" a little bit harder?

61
00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,501
"They're <i>so</i> right."

62
00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:23,751
[inhales deeply]

63
00:03:25,793 --> 00:03:29,751
- Are you giving me a read?
- I would never do that, Thurl.

64
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,459
Let's not play games, young man.

65
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:35,918
I am rehearsing <i>Lear</i> at four,
so could you simply tell me what you want?

66
00:03:35,918 --> 00:03:37,084
I wanna go home.

67
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,793
Hello, everyone.

68
00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:42,251
- Oh! And look who's here.
- Good morning, Thurl.

69
00:03:42,251 --> 00:03:45,709
Is it good, Bob? Is it?
Have you seen today's copy?

70
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:49,168
Oh, we'll get it, Thurl. We've got
the best cereal writers in the business.

71
00:03:49,168 --> 00:03:53,251
We do indeed. We are so blessed.
They're great. Just gr-r-reat!

72
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:55,584
That's it.

73
00:03:56,084 --> 00:03:58,793
That's the line we've been looking for.
Let's go again.

74
00:03:58,793 --> 00:03:59,959
Yes, quickly now.

75
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:02,084
- Quickly, while I feel it.
- [bell rings]

76
00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,334
- [man 1] Ready?
- [man 2] Rolling.

77
00:04:04,334 --> 00:04:06,543
[Thurl] Sugar Frosted Flakes.

78
00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:08,501
They're gr-r-reat!

79
00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:10,251
- And cut.
- [bell rings]

80
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,001
- [all applauding]
- Thurl, you did it again.

81
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,751
Oh, thank you. You're very kind to me.

82
00:04:14,751 --> 00:04:15,918
You're very kind.

83
00:04:15,918 --> 00:04:16,918
[man] Bravo!

84
00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:19,501
[Thurl] I soar on the wings of eagles.

85
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:20,418
Thank you.

86
00:04:20,418 --> 00:04:24,251
Bob. Bob, a moment. I was wondering,
is there something that could be done,

87
00:04:24,251 --> 00:04:27,043
perhaps, about the temperature
inside my head?

88
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:29,584
- I'm literally sealed up inside, you see.
- [Bob] Mmm.

89
00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:31,751
I'll get the boys
in the lab to look into it.

90
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,543
Great. Thank you.

91
00:04:33,543 --> 00:04:35,626
[whimsical music playing]

92
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:38,668
Where is the lab?

93
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:39,709
There is no lab.

94
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:42,668
- [Poppy] Mr. C.
- Poppy. What's this?

95
00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:44,918
It's a first pass
at your Fruit Loops idea.

96
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,168
- Oh. How'd they do?
- The numbers aren't great.

97
00:04:47,168 --> 00:04:49,293
- Time to sog, 14 seconds.
- Ouch.

98
00:04:49,293 --> 00:04:51,709
Milk buoyancy, zero.
They are sinking like buckshot.

99
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,001
- Disappointing.
- Wanna hear the survey responses?

100
00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,043
- Not really.
- They are "I don't like these."

101
00:04:56,043 --> 00:04:58,626
"Please, no more."
And "Where did my parents go?"

102
00:04:58,626 --> 00:05:01,626
Okay. Just double the sugar,
triple the gluten,

103
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:04,501
and spell Fruit F-R-O-O-T.

104
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:06,084
There's no fruit in here.

105
00:05:06,084 --> 00:05:09,168
Obviously, fruit cannot survive
in a box on a shelf.

106
00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:10,959
- [Poppy] Of course not.
- [whispering]

107
00:05:11,459 --> 00:05:12,751
Mr. Cabana.

108
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:14,584
Ah, boys.

109
00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:16,668
I'm just going to cut right to it.

110
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:19,668
We're tired of doing
supermarket appearances.

111
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:22,793
Yeah, we're catching on.
We want a record deal, board games--

112
00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:24,876
- Maybe even a beach movie.
- Oh.

113
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:26,084
Tell him the title.

114
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:29,168
<i>Krispy Boys Surfin' Along.</i>

115
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:32,626
Yeah. This thing is big, Bob.
We want more.

116
00:05:32,626 --> 00:05:34,501
More? Here's more.

117
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,209
Let's add a new guy.
How about Snap, Crackle, Pop, and Boing?

118
00:05:38,209 --> 00:05:41,126
Would you like to split
your paycheck four ways with Boing?

119
00:05:41,126 --> 00:05:44,251
Or I could just hire
Poop, Slap, and Smile,

120
00:05:44,251 --> 00:05:46,459
because I can replace this whole act...

121
00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:47,793
[snaps fingers] ...like that.

122
00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:49,501
[breathing shakily]

123
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:54,876
He's teasing. He loves you guys.

124
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,251
Meeting in the Krispy Cave, now.

125
00:05:57,251 --> 00:05:58,251
[music ends]

126
00:05:58,251 --> 00:06:01,751
[announcer] <i>From the recently renovated
Holiday Inn in Battle Creek, Michigan,</i>

127
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:05,043
<i>it is the 1963 Bowl and Spoon Awards,</i>

128
00:06:05,043 --> 00:06:07,209
<i>the night cereal salutes itself.</i>

129
00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:09,043
{\an8}Brought to you by Oscar Mayer Wieners.

130
00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:11,293
{\an8}When you are done with breakfast,
we'll be waiting.

131
00:06:11,293 --> 00:06:12,209
[audience applauding]

132
00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:15,584
[Mr. Kellogg] Well, whatever it is,
my gerbil loves it. [laughs]

133
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:16,501
[gasps]

134
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,918
[enchanting music playing]

135
00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:19,959
[Mr. Kellogg] Oh, Madame Cereal.

136
00:06:20,543 --> 00:06:21,751
Miss Marjorie Post.

137
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:23,876
Well well, King Kellogg.

138
00:06:23,876 --> 00:06:26,168
Good luck tonight,
not that you need it, right?

139
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:30,209
Well, I don't know. That fruity gravel
of yours made quite a splash.

140
00:06:30,209 --> 00:06:31,584
Pebbles. Fruity Pebbles.

141
00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:35,501
Uh-- I-- Rick Ludwin, also with Post.
I have been eating you for years.

142
00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:38,668
- I'd leave.
- Uh...

143
00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:41,793
You know we don't stand
a chance against you tonight.

144
00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:43,876
Well, it's been a very good year.

145
00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:45,959
Oh, you should enjoy it.

146
00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:46,959
It's the '60s.

147
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:50,626
- Things are really moving fast.
- What do you mean?

148
00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:55,293
Oh, there's always a surprise
inside the box. Isn't there, Eddie?

149
00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:57,793
Huh?

150
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,668
[jazz music playing]

151
00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:01,543
Greetings, Kellogg's brethren.

152
00:07:01,543 --> 00:07:02,751
Praise be.

153
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:05,501
Hey, Isaiah.
You know Isaiah Lamb from Quaker.

154
00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:08,584
Anything new nominated tonight?

155
00:07:08,584 --> 00:07:09,918
[Isaiah] No, nothing new.

156
00:07:09,918 --> 00:07:11,918
Original oats, original flavor.

157
00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:13,543
Yeah, flavor.

158
00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:14,543
[Poppy laughs softly]

159
00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:15,959
- What's that?
- Nothing.

160
00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:18,293
You Kellogg's people.

161
00:07:19,543 --> 00:07:20,709
Peace be upon you.

162
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,959
Why do they keep showing up to this?

163
00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:28,084
- Mixing religion and cereal, why?
- To keep sales down?

164
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:31,751
[announcer] <i>Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your host, Stu Smiley.</i>

165
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,834
- [orchestral fanfare playing]
- [all applauding]

166
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:35,668
Oh. [chuckles]

167
00:07:36,626 --> 00:07:37,501
[kisses]

168
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,293
I love this guy.

169
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,959
{\an8}And welcome to the big Bowl and Spoon.
How are you?

170
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:45,751
{\an8}Look at you tonight.
Somebody's frosted your flakes.

171
00:07:45,751 --> 00:07:47,668
[audience laughing]

172
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,876
Well, you know I love cereal people. I do.

173
00:07:49,876 --> 00:07:53,626
{\an8}My favorite thing is on the front
of the box is serving suggestions.

174
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:56,834
Well, I have a suggestion for you.
How about filling up the box?

175
00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:57,793
[all laughing]

176
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,209
{\an8}- What's with all the air?
- [audience applauding]

177
00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,834
This is gonna be a great night, guys.

178
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,543
And we're gonna get things
started here with our first award.

179
00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:09,126
{\an8}It is Best New Cereal Box Character.

180
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:10,626
And the winner is

181
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:12,209
Kellogg's.

182
00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:13,709
[exclaiming]

183
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:15,709
[Stu] Apple Jacks' Apple Head.

184
00:08:16,334 --> 00:08:17,293
This is all you.

185
00:08:17,293 --> 00:08:18,668
Well, it's everyone.

186
00:08:18,668 --> 00:08:19,626
Me mostly.

187
00:08:19,626 --> 00:08:23,126
{\an8}Easiest to Open Wax Bag.

188
00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:24,043
Kellogg's!

189
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,501
Yeah!

190
00:08:26,084 --> 00:08:27,251
[sarcastically] Yay.

191
00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:30,668
- Kellogg's, ladies and gentlemen.
- [audience exclaims]

192
00:08:30,668 --> 00:08:32,376
Kellogg's, guys. Come on.

193
00:08:32,376 --> 00:08:34,543
Best Use of Niacin.

194
00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:35,543
{\an8}You guessed it.

195
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:37,209
{\an8}Kellogg's, guys.

196
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,418
[groovy music playing]

197
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,084
[audience continues applauding]

198
00:08:42,876 --> 00:08:44,084
Heathens.

199
00:08:44,084 --> 00:08:46,709
Let the grain speak for itself.

200
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:48,834
[music crescendoes]

201
00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:50,043
[music ends]

202
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:52,043
I don't know
where I'm gonna put all these.

203
00:08:52,043 --> 00:08:55,001
Why are they smiling over there?
They're losing everything.

204
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,626
Then the priest says,
"Really? She was when I knew her."

205
00:08:57,626 --> 00:08:59,418
[laughing]

206
00:08:59,418 --> 00:09:01,751
Maybe they're just happy for you, Bob.

207
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:05,209
They'd be happy if we were dragged
through the streets like Mussolini.

208
00:09:05,209 --> 00:09:08,876
Mussolini? Come on, Bob.
Lighten up. We won the night.

209
00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:13,293
I don't know.
I feel like they know something we don't.

210
00:09:13,293 --> 00:09:15,501
And now in memoriam.

211
00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:19,376
Let's take a moment to remember
some of the cereals we lost this year.

212
00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:21,209
We ate of you what we could.

213
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:23,918
["It Was A Very Good Year"
by Frank Sinatra playing]

214
00:09:23,918 --> 00:09:27,084
<i>♪ When I was seventeen ♪</i>

215
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:32,709
<i>- ♪ It was a very good year ♪</i>
- [sobbing]

216
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:35,168
[mysterious music playing]

217
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:41,793
[menacing music plays]

218
00:09:43,418 --> 00:09:45,418
[mischievous music playing]

219
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,251
[kid grunting]

220
00:09:50,251 --> 00:09:51,251
[thuds]

221
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,084
[truck revving]

222
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,543
[whirring]

223
00:09:59,543 --> 00:10:01,543
[dramatic music playing]

224
00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,834
[kids screaming]

225
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:07,168
{\an8}- [grunting]
- [objects clattering]

226
00:10:07,168 --> 00:10:09,376
- [clanking]
- [kids yelping]

227
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,626
[grunting]

228
00:10:11,626 --> 00:10:13,834
[mischievous music playing]

229
00:10:15,376 --> 00:10:17,668
- [kids grunting]
- [thudding]

230
00:10:17,668 --> 00:10:18,876
[groans]

231
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,751
[engine revving]

232
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:22,501
[brakes squealing]

233
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:24,293
Hey, what are those kids doing?

234
00:10:24,293 --> 00:10:26,918
- Oh, they come for the goo.
- Who comes for the goo?

235
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:29,876
The ones.
The ones who come, it's for the goo.

236
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:31,584
- The goo?
- The goo!

237
00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:33,043
[truck hisses, revs]

238
00:10:33,876 --> 00:10:35,709
[suspenseful music playing]

239
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:42,459
[dramatic music plays]

240
00:10:42,459 --> 00:10:43,918
Are you kids okay?

241
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:46,959
Oh, sure. We live in nice homes
and already had a complete breakfast.

242
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:49,918
But we come here for this.

243
00:10:49,918 --> 00:10:51,876
- It's garbage.
- [girl] Is it?

244
00:10:51,876 --> 00:10:55,918
Or is it some hot fruit lightning
the man doesn't want you to have?

245
00:10:56,418 --> 00:10:57,376
[boy] No, wait.

246
00:10:57,376 --> 00:10:59,668
You have to have it like this.

247
00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:02,709
[heavenly music playing]

248
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:08,501
Eat up.

249
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,584
[siren wailing]

250
00:11:12,459 --> 00:11:14,001
[thunder rumbling]

251
00:11:15,376 --> 00:11:17,376
[thrilling music playing]

252
00:11:22,334 --> 00:11:23,168
[dramatic sting]

253
00:11:23,168 --> 00:11:26,918
- They got a fruit-filled pastry dingus.
- Dingus? Who has a dingus?

254
00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:30,668
Post. They did it. It's some kind
of jelly-ish structure thing.

255
00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:32,876
Transportable, possibly heatable.

256
00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:35,626
- It might even be nutritious.
- It's not possible.

257
00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:39,626
It's like a balloon popping out of
a steering wheel in an accident, insane.

258
00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:40,543
I tasted it.

259
00:11:40,543 --> 00:11:42,168
- Where?
- Out of a dumpster.

260
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,709
But isn't this
what your team was working on?

261
00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:46,168
You said it was a dead end.

262
00:11:46,168 --> 00:11:49,459
It is. We thought it was.
Post must have cracked it.

263
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,459
This could sink us.

264
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,668
There isn't a Kellogg's cereal
that would survive.

265
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,001
You're in a tizzy, Bob.

266
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:58,293
Uh, look at these awards.
We just cleaned up at the Bowl and Spoons.

267
00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,376
Edsel, we own the Bowl and Spoons.

268
00:12:00,376 --> 00:12:03,043
You know how hard I work
to keep that from leaking?

269
00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:05,168
- It's a sham.
- It's a good show.

270
00:12:05,168 --> 00:12:06,793
Well, the show's over.

271
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,293
You realize what this means?

272
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:13,001
Post will be the new king of Battle Creek.

273
00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:14,334
Then what are we?

274
00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:17,001
We're lumpy Cream of Wheat.

275
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:19,418
I wanted to send my kids to college.

276
00:12:19,418 --> 00:12:20,543
[somber music playing]

277
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:22,501
It's, like, $200 a year.

278
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:24,793
I guess my family was right about me.

279
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:27,959
I'll be the first failed Kellogg.

280
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:30,709
You didn't fail.
You have to do something to fail.

281
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,584
Easy on the insults, Bob.
You'd be out of a job too.

282
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,918
I know. I could be a train hobo,

283
00:12:36,918 --> 00:12:39,668
cooking meat on the end
of a stick over a barrel fire.

284
00:12:39,668 --> 00:12:42,959
You can't say hobo anymore.
They prefer bum.

285
00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:46,751
Well, I guess that's the end
of my dream of having a real lawn someday.

286
00:12:46,751 --> 00:12:49,293
- Wait. You have a lawn.
- It's not sod.

287
00:12:49,293 --> 00:12:52,293
I want sod.
You ever see that kind of grass?

288
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,251
Thick? Really green?

289
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:57,543
They roll it out like Poppin' Fresh dough.

290
00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:01,084
That's your dream? You don't have
feelings like normal people, do you?

291
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,668
Yes, I do. I feel fine.

292
00:13:02,668 --> 00:13:04,876
We need to find out if this is real.

293
00:13:04,876 --> 00:13:06,459
[pensive music playing]

294
00:13:07,751 --> 00:13:09,751
- I need Chester Slink.
- Who's that?

295
00:13:09,751 --> 00:13:11,751
- I'm on the phone, Bob.
- Huh.

296
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:14,126
[announcer]
<i>Direct from CBS News in New York.</i>

297
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,668
<i>This is the CBS Evening News
with Walter Cronkite.</i>

298
00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:21,751
This just handed to me,
some major news from the breakfast world.

299
00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:24,376
The Post Cereal company
of Battle Creek, Michigan,

300
00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:29,959
has reportedly invented a shelf-stable,
heatable fruit pastry breakfast product.

301
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:31,834
Shelf-stable.

302
00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:34,709
Boy. [sighs]

303
00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:36,668
More to come after this.

304
00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:37,959
And we're clear.

305
00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:39,918
On a personal note,

306
00:13:39,918 --> 00:13:42,584
Daddy bought himself a WHEE-LO.

307
00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:45,126
WHEE-LO.

308
00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:49,918
Goes away but always comes back for more.

309
00:13:51,584 --> 00:13:52,918
Much like the missus.

310
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,168
[Edsel] This is Chester Slink,
our head of security.

311
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,251
Chester, tell us what you found out.

312
00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:04,126
Well, this footage was taken
this morning by our man inside Post.

313
00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:05,293
[snaps fingers]

314
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,376
[projector clicks, whirs]

315
00:14:07,376 --> 00:14:09,001
[suspenseful music playing]

316
00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:12,959
- I can't see a damn thing.
- It's the best we have right now.

317
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:17,459
We have an operative posing as a janitor
with a camera attached to his mop.

318
00:14:17,459 --> 00:14:20,876
Very brave,
these men inside with their mops.

319
00:14:21,459 --> 00:14:25,043
We believe this is what Bob
was ingesting in the dumpster.

320
00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,793
Clearly, it's a fructiferous goo.

321
00:14:27,793 --> 00:14:30,209
- Perhaps pectin-based?
- [all murmuring]

322
00:14:30,209 --> 00:14:31,209
Pectin-based.

323
00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:32,168
Pectin.

324
00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:37,334
<i>- What are you doing? What's that noise?
- Get that mop out of my face.</i>

325
00:14:38,459 --> 00:14:39,334
Do your job.

326
00:14:40,626 --> 00:14:41,626
[scoffs]

327
00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:43,376
[suspenseful music playing]

328
00:14:43,376 --> 00:14:45,126
[camera whirring]

329
00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:48,293
- [Bob] Wait. Stop the film.
- [projector clicks]

330
00:14:48,293 --> 00:14:49,834
That's my research.

331
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:53,209
Yeah, it is. It's possible
they got a guy working in our offices.

332
00:14:53,209 --> 00:14:54,584
[Edsel] Unlikely.

333
00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:57,376
I recently doubled our security.

334
00:14:57,376 --> 00:14:59,209
We have two guards now.

335
00:14:59,209 --> 00:15:01,751
- [vacuum whirring]
- Uh-- Can you do that later?

336
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,876
Uh-- We're in a meeting.

337
00:15:03,876 --> 00:15:05,626
[vacuum powering down]

338
00:15:06,293 --> 00:15:08,209
[camera whirring]

339
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:12,959
[man clears throat] Excuse me,
but I am days away

340
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:16,834
{\an8}from a fruit snack that'll blow
their product right into the deli aisle.

341
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,834
{\an8}Is that a sardine can?

342
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,959
It was.

343
00:15:20,459 --> 00:15:23,168
But instead of oily
Mediterranean baitfish,

344
00:15:23,168 --> 00:15:25,584
it contains yummy fresh fruit puree.

345
00:15:26,876 --> 00:15:29,459
I give you the Kellogg's Frui-dine.

346
00:15:31,543 --> 00:15:34,293
[all groan]

347
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:37,709
Uh, this one appears to be compromised.
That happens.

348
00:15:38,251 --> 00:15:42,543
Uh-- My team is also very close
on something called Corn Gooies.

349
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:43,584
And that is?

350
00:15:43,584 --> 00:15:46,126
It's individual Corn Pops
filled with creamed corn.

351
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:48,084
- [all gagging]
- And they're gooey.

352
00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:50,001
[all gagging, groaning]

353
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,668
Everyone out. Take that. Take that.

354
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:54,418
[footsteps receding rapidly]

355
00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:55,459
Save us, Bob.

356
00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:56,834
[door closes]

357
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,001
Whatever it takes. Whatever you need.

358
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,709
- I need Stan back.
- [Edsel] No.

359
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:05,501
- No Stankowski. No can do.
- Look, I know Stan's not easy.

360
00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:08,418
Not easy?
Well, you couldn't even deal with Stan.

361
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:11,834
- We worked it out. We used a veto system.
- Wh-- What?

362
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,251
We gave each other the power

363
00:16:13,251 --> 00:16:16,168
to veto anything
the other person did that was annoying.

364
00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:17,793
To reduce tension.

365
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:20,251
Smelly lunch orders. Weird belts.

366
00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:21,626
Oh, that's interesting.

367
00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:25,334
'Cause my company's on
the verge of total collapse!

368
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,876
That's why we need Stan.

369
00:16:26,876 --> 00:16:28,168
[Edsel sighs]

370
00:16:28,168 --> 00:16:30,376
Does anyone even know where Stan is?

371
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:34,834
{\an8}[announcer] <i>Three, two, one. Ignition.</i>

372
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,709
["Wooly Bully" by Sam The Sham
& The Pharaohs playing]

373
00:16:37,709 --> 00:16:39,043
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

374
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,251
<i>♪ Watch it now, watch it</i>... <i>♪</i>

375
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,668
[indistinct chatter]

376
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:45,418
<i>♪ Matty told Hatty... ♪</i>

377
00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:46,584
[whooshing]

378
00:16:46,584 --> 00:16:48,668
<i>♪ About a thing she saw</i>... <i>♪</i>

379
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,751
{\an8}- [buzzer buzzing]
- [woman] <i>The alien is hostile.</i>

380
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:55,168
<i>♪ And a wooly jaw ♪</i>

381
00:16:55,168 --> 00:16:56,751
<i>♪ Wooly bully... ♪</i>

382
00:16:56,751 --> 00:16:59,126
{\an8}[woman] <i>The alien is tricky.</i>

383
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:01,209
<i>- ♪ Wooly bully ♪
- ♪ Yeah, right ♪</i>

384
00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:03,126
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

385
00:17:04,084 --> 00:17:05,209
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

386
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:06,793
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

387
00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:11,334
Hey, if you guys get hungry on the moon,
I just came up with this.

388
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,834
It's Twinkie in a tube. Ha!

389
00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:17,793
- Like I couldn't do that?
- I see in flavors, flyboy.

390
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:20,584
What do you do other than
screw up and press eject?

391
00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:22,918
[tires squealing]

392
00:17:25,501 --> 00:17:27,001
- Cabana.
- [engine stops]

393
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:29,501
Can't believe they leave
the keys in these things.

394
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,043
Wow. You guys are really into the moon.

395
00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:35,251
Been expecting you.

396
00:17:35,751 --> 00:17:38,459
Post has really got you
by the nut clusters this time.

397
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:40,001
Here. Try this.

398
00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:42,418
[slurping]

399
00:17:42,918 --> 00:17:45,626
- It's got a certain tang.
- Ooh, that's a good name.

400
00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:49,251
But, Bob, I... I know you're in a spot,
but I don't wanna go back to flake town.

401
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:52,626
- What is so great about NASA?
- They're not afraid of the future.

402
00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:55,334
I mean, we've got something here
called a microwave oven.

403
00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,459
Cooked a Swanson TV dinner
in 25 minutes flat. That's a fact.

404
00:17:58,459 --> 00:17:59,709
Yeah, for seven guys.

405
00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:02,709
I'm talking about happy childhoods
for millions of American kids.

406
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:06,459
- We're going to the moon.
- The moon. Leave the moon alone.

407
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:08,084
You look up, it's there.

408
00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:10,543
It'll always be there. Don't pick at it.

409
00:18:11,126 --> 00:18:12,751
You're jamming goo into tubes

410
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,543
for a bunch of chain-smoking
Corvette guys with flattops.

411
00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:17,376
They're gonna go up,
they're gonna come down.

412
00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:19,334
They're gonna become alcoholics
and get divorced.

413
00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:20,459
The chimps are smarter.

414
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,959
Okay, how do you think Post did it?

415
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:25,001
I know how they did it.
They stole our research.

416
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:28,126
- I wonder if they used xanthan gum.
- Xanthan.

417
00:18:28,126 --> 00:18:29,959
I don't wanna work for Edsel again.

418
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:34,584
You don't really think you're actually
going to the moon, do you, really?

419
00:18:35,376 --> 00:18:37,793
Going to the moon?

420
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,209
- [laughing] No, I don't.
- No.

421
00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:42,501
- Let's go.
- Let's go.

422
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:43,501
[sighs]

423
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:47,709
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

424
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,793
[mysterious music playing]

425
00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:56,459
Are we in trouble, mister?

426
00:18:56,459 --> 00:18:59,459
You just tell Miss Post
about what you were doing in our dumpster

427
00:18:59,459 --> 00:19:01,209
and anything else she wants to know.

428
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,501
Hello, kids.

429
00:19:06,876 --> 00:19:07,834
Move.

430
00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:11,584
So I heard you rascals
went on a little treasure hunt.

431
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,001
That is our patented property.

432
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:16,168
Do you know
what trademark infringement is?

433
00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:20,043
Trademark infringement is a violation
of exclusive rights of a proprietary brand

434
00:19:20,043 --> 00:19:22,709
without the authorization
of the owner or other licensees.

435
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:25,376
Now, you listen to me, Cabbage Patch.

436
00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:27,709
You have no idea
what's going on here, do you?

437
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,209
Well, maybe you'd like to find out.

438
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:35,751
- Ma'am, you're not thinking of--
- Bring me a box of the x19s.

439
00:19:35,751 --> 00:19:38,418
But, ma'am, all we have at this point
is an untested prototype.

440
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:40,459
- I cannot recommend--
- You cannot?

441
00:19:40,459 --> 00:19:41,918
Don't you see, Ludwin?

442
00:19:41,918 --> 00:19:46,584
I'm about to finally crush that big
red K that never stops glaring at me.

443
00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:48,876
I hate them.

444
00:19:50,376 --> 00:19:51,418
[music fades]

445
00:19:51,418 --> 00:19:52,668
[twinkling music plays]

446
00:19:53,709 --> 00:19:55,126
Where the hell are they?

447
00:19:55,126 --> 00:19:57,834
[suspenseful music playing]

448
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,834
[epic music playing]

449
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,668
[exhaling]

450
00:20:13,126 --> 00:20:15,459
- [chuckles]
- [fire crackling]

451
00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:16,626
[Ludwin coughs]

452
00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:18,251
Ludwin.

453
00:20:21,293 --> 00:20:23,043
- [bursts, crackles]
- Ahh!

454
00:20:23,043 --> 00:20:25,084
Must you be so dramatic?

455
00:20:25,084 --> 00:20:27,126
Why does it smell like that?

456
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:30,543
There's just a small amount
of petroleum in this version.

457
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:32,293
[gasps, groans]

458
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:34,126
Forget the toaster. We'll do it raw.

459
00:20:34,126 --> 00:20:36,043
- [toaster clatters]
- We'll do it raw!

460
00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:42,501
I can't believe I'm saying this,

461
00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:44,959
but this is even better
than what's in the dumpster.

462
00:20:45,876 --> 00:20:47,751
Better than what's in the dumpster.

463
00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:51,001
Just what they said about Grape-Nuts.

464
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,501
[pensive music playing]

465
00:20:57,084 --> 00:21:00,043
We're gonna need
to use every inch of this place.

466
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:02,959
I take it you're comfortable
reinstating our veto system.

467
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:05,668
- I think that would be wise, Bob.
- Any issues?

468
00:21:05,668 --> 00:21:07,584
No. Any issues?

469
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:10,084
No.

470
00:21:10,084 --> 00:21:11,709
[Edsel] Here's the winning team.

471
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,251
Milk and cereal.

472
00:21:13,251 --> 00:21:15,043
Peanut butter and jelly.

473
00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:17,876
Stankowski and Cabana.

474
00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,584
Now I know we can take 'em.

475
00:21:19,584 --> 00:21:21,084
You look good, Stan.

476
00:21:21,084 --> 00:21:22,626
You look the same.

477
00:21:22,626 --> 00:21:24,626
Well, I just lost 25 pounds.

478
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,834
- I don't miss it.
- You're not supposed to miss it.

479
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:32,251
- Nobody misses 25 pounds of fat.
- That's what I'm sayin'. I don't miss it.

480
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,418
Stan?

481
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,126
Why is he losing it? Is it 'cause
he's still sweet on Margie Post?

482
00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:38,126
- Would you leave him alone?
- It's not true.

483
00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:41,626
Besides, a... a Post and a Kellogg
could never be. It's forbidden.

484
00:21:41,626 --> 00:21:42,959
Doesn't that make it sexier?

485
00:21:42,959 --> 00:21:44,293
- [gasps]
- Okay.

486
00:21:44,293 --> 00:21:47,209
I told you this one's a little off.
She's not a company man.

487
00:21:47,209 --> 00:21:49,918
- I'm not a man.
- All right. Let's start over.

488
00:21:49,918 --> 00:21:53,584
How about the three of us
have a bowl of cereal together right now?

489
00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:56,834
Sure. Why not? I could use a bowl.

490
00:21:56,834 --> 00:21:58,668
- Let's bowl up.
- Bowl time.

491
00:21:58,668 --> 00:22:01,501
["Can't Take My Eyes Off You"
by Frankie Valli playing]

492
00:22:06,084 --> 00:22:07,126
Ah.

493
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:11,751
<i>♪ You're just too good to be true ♪</i>

494
00:22:11,751 --> 00:22:15,501
<i>♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪</i>

495
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:19,209
<i>♪ You'd be like heaven to touch ♪</i>

496
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:23,251
<i>♪ I wanna hold you so much ♪</i>

497
00:22:23,793 --> 00:22:27,043
<i>♪ At long last, love has arrived ♪</i>

498
00:22:27,709 --> 00:22:30,709
<i>♪ And I thank God I'm alive ♪</i>

499
00:22:31,501 --> 00:22:35,001
<i>♪You're just too good to be true</i>

500
00:22:35,001 --> 00:22:38,751
<i>♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪</i>

501
00:22:42,168 --> 00:22:45,918
The magic of cereal is you're eating and
drinking at the same time with one hand.

502
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,876
What we need to be able to do
is recreate this euphoric gratification.

503
00:22:48,876 --> 00:22:50,334
{\an8}But in a completely new way.

504
00:22:50,334 --> 00:22:53,668
Well, all of Kellogg's manpower
is at your disposal.

505
00:22:53,668 --> 00:22:56,834
That is not gonna work.
If we're gonna beat Post,

506
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,584
we need the most innovative,

507
00:22:58,584 --> 00:23:01,626
unconventional minds of the 1960s.

508
00:23:01,626 --> 00:23:03,043
Well, think you can get them?

509
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:06,168
They're already on a plane.

510
00:23:07,209 --> 00:23:08,251
Well, he's not.

511
00:23:08,251 --> 00:23:10,043
And this guy's on a bus.

512
00:23:10,668 --> 00:23:12,668
And Einstein's dead. But the rest...

513
00:23:13,209 --> 00:23:15,626
{\an8}- [orchestral fanfare playing]
- [all cheering]

514
00:23:17,876 --> 00:23:20,168
Today, Kellogg's boldly announces

515
00:23:20,168 --> 00:23:25,209
that we are entering the race
to develop the new breakfast dingus.

516
00:23:25,209 --> 00:23:27,376
{\an8}I'd like to bring up our head
of development,

517
00:23:27,376 --> 00:23:30,959
Robert Cabana,
to tell you all about it. Uh, Bob?

518
00:23:30,959 --> 00:23:33,293
[all applauding]

519
00:23:33,293 --> 00:23:34,834
The brave men you see before you

520
00:23:34,834 --> 00:23:38,001
have been through
an unprecedented series of evaluations.

521
00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:40,626
Each is at the top of their field.

522
00:23:40,626 --> 00:23:43,543
Inventive, visionary, fearless.

523
00:23:43,543 --> 00:23:45,459
[all cheering]

524
00:23:45,459 --> 00:23:49,418
- Soft-serve ice cream genius, Tom Carvel.
- [crowd cheering]

525
00:23:49,418 --> 00:23:52,584
- Children's bicycle maker, Steve Schwinn.
- [crowd cheering]

526
00:23:52,584 --> 00:23:55,918
Inventor of the Sea-Monkey
and German immigrant,

527
00:23:55,918 --> 00:23:58,584
- Harold von Braunhut.
- [crowd cheering]

528
00:23:58,584 --> 00:24:02,876
Canned meatball whiz kid, Chef Boyardee.

529
00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:06,626
Tightly-tailored physical fitness icon,
Jack LaLanne.

530
00:24:06,626 --> 00:24:08,126
- [wolf whistle]
- [cheering continues]

531
00:24:08,126 --> 00:24:11,251
{\an8}And from IBM,
the smartest machine ever made,

532
00:24:11,251 --> 00:24:13,126
{\an8}UNIVAC the computer.

533
00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:14,043
[UNIVAC buzzes]

534
00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:18,209
{\an8}I give you
Kellogg's first-ever taste pilots.

535
00:24:18,209 --> 00:24:20,334
[all cheering and applauding]

536
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,584
[dramatic music playing]

537
00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:26,584
[music ends]

538
00:24:28,709 --> 00:24:29,751
[Bob] Questions?

539
00:24:29,751 --> 00:24:33,001
Mr. LaLanne, is this kind of food
really part of your health regimen?

540
00:24:33,001 --> 00:24:34,126
{\an8}Well, sugar's poison,

541
00:24:34,126 --> 00:24:37,626
{\an8}which is why we're developing something
new called high-fructose corn syrup.

542
00:24:37,626 --> 00:24:39,376
{\an8}[all applauding]

543
00:24:39,376 --> 00:24:40,584
[reporters clamoring]

544
00:24:40,584 --> 00:24:44,084
Mr. Schwinn, why would you leave
the number one bicycle company in America

545
00:24:44,084 --> 00:24:46,251
to make some unknown edible item?

546
00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:48,126
- That's what we're doing?
- [crowd laughing]

547
00:24:48,126 --> 00:24:49,251
[reporters clamoring]

548
00:24:49,251 --> 00:24:50,543
Uh, next question?

549
00:24:50,543 --> 00:24:53,418
Mr. Carvel, your voice
is so famously unappetizing.

550
00:24:53,418 --> 00:24:55,334
Why did put yourself in your commercials?

551
00:24:55,334 --> 00:24:57,918
Blow it out your trumpet, Sally.
[imitates blowing trumpet]

552
00:24:57,918 --> 00:24:59,001
- [crowd laughing]
- Tom.

553
00:24:59,001 --> 00:25:01,376
[whirring and clicking]

554
00:25:07,668 --> 00:25:09,584
{\an8}[buzzing]

555
00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:14,043
Mr. von Braunhut,
where were you in the early 1940s?

556
00:25:14,043 --> 00:25:16,793
{\an8}That is for me to know
and you not to find out.

557
00:25:16,793 --> 00:25:17,876
{\an8}[laughing]

558
00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:22,626
Okay. Thank you, everyone.
That's it for today.

559
00:25:22,626 --> 00:25:24,959
Excuse me.
I was serious about the 1940s question.

560
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:27,876
- Can we all just move on?
- Thank you, and we'll see you again.

561
00:25:27,876 --> 00:25:29,626
[all cheering and applauding]

562
00:25:29,626 --> 00:25:31,584
[inspirational music playing]

563
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,876
[brooding music playing]

564
00:25:45,959 --> 00:25:47,126
[music fades]

565
00:25:48,501 --> 00:25:51,168
America is gonna
fall in love with those guys.

566
00:25:52,001 --> 00:25:54,918
- Couple rough spots.
- How masterful was Tom Carvel?

567
00:25:54,918 --> 00:25:57,709
You mean threatening a female journalist
or wearing a dirty shirt?

568
00:25:57,709 --> 00:25:58,834
Yeah, right?

569
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:02,793
- Hey, what were those milkmen doing there?
- Take a seat.

570
00:26:04,168 --> 00:26:06,543
I've kept this from you two over the years

571
00:26:06,543 --> 00:26:09,084
because I just didn't know
how to talk about it.

572
00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:12,876
As we all know, in the beginning,
farmers milked cows for fun.

573
00:26:12,876 --> 00:26:15,584
<i>It was just a gross white liquid</i>

574
00:26:15,584 --> 00:26:18,001
<i>dripping out of some dimwitted beast</i>

575
00:26:18,001 --> 00:26:20,626
that was fun to throw at girls.

576
00:26:20,626 --> 00:26:21,668
But when a ranch hand

577
00:26:21,668 --> 00:26:26,084
<i>named Milky Cashman
spilled some into a bowl of dry cereal,</i>

578
00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,251
a million-dollar business was born.

579
00:26:28,251 --> 00:26:30,959
<i>You see, the smiling, friendly milkman,</i>

580
00:26:30,959 --> 00:26:32,001
that's all fake.

581
00:26:32,001 --> 00:26:33,001
[dramatic sting]

582
00:26:33,001 --> 00:26:35,751
They're a greedy, ruthless syndicate,

583
00:26:35,751 --> 00:26:37,668
and they protect what's theirs.

584
00:26:38,251 --> 00:26:42,251
And we are currently developing
a product that doesn't need milk.

585
00:26:42,251 --> 00:26:44,709
Wait a minute.
What ever happened to Milky Cashman?

586
00:26:44,709 --> 00:26:47,876
He was the first missing person
on the side of a milk carton. Hmm.

587
00:26:48,793 --> 00:26:51,334
His own goddamn milk carton.

588
00:26:51,334 --> 00:26:52,668
Sorry for my French.

589
00:26:52,668 --> 00:26:55,043
- That's not French.
- What does this mean?

590
00:26:55,043 --> 00:27:00,709
What it means is we're about to have
some very powerful people <i>very</i> upset.

591
00:27:00,709 --> 00:27:01,626
Mmm.

592
00:27:01,626 --> 00:27:03,626
I'm not afraid
of those sour cream jockeys.

593
00:27:03,626 --> 00:27:07,126
That kind of attitude could land you
on the business end of a cow.

594
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:09,251
That means the butt.

595
00:27:10,459 --> 00:27:13,584
{\an8}[marching drums playing]

596
00:27:17,043 --> 00:27:18,834
[whirring and clicking]

597
00:27:18,834 --> 00:27:20,959
[suspenseful music playing]

598
00:27:22,543 --> 00:27:24,751
Bob, this is Purvis Pendleton from IBM.

599
00:27:24,751 --> 00:27:27,918
We really appreciate you guys
loaning this thing out to us.

600
00:27:27,918 --> 00:27:30,126
Tell you the truth,
we're kind of happy to be rid of it.

601
00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:31,876
- Oh.
- [whirring]

602
00:27:31,876 --> 00:27:32,876
Oh.

603
00:27:32,876 --> 00:27:34,251
[whirs, dings]

604
00:27:34,834 --> 00:27:36,418
"Hello, Stan."

605
00:27:36,418 --> 00:27:37,376
[whirring]

606
00:27:39,168 --> 00:27:40,126
[dings]

607
00:27:40,918 --> 00:27:42,418
"Nursed or bottle-fed?"

608
00:27:42,418 --> 00:27:43,334
Neither.

609
00:27:43,334 --> 00:27:44,584
Don't answer that.

610
00:27:45,709 --> 00:27:47,459
No, UNIVAC. No!

611
00:27:48,418 --> 00:27:50,459
- We talked about this.
- [buzzes]

612
00:27:52,251 --> 00:27:53,084
"Sea-Monkeys."

613
00:27:53,084 --> 00:27:55,668
"The real live fun pets
you grow yourself"?

614
00:27:55,668 --> 00:27:57,793
- Come on.
- [Harold] Here they are. So simple.

615
00:27:58,543 --> 00:28:00,543
You pour them in, stir the water...

616
00:28:01,501 --> 00:28:02,376
[clinking]

617
00:28:02,376 --> 00:28:04,126
Behold, life.

618
00:28:04,793 --> 00:28:07,418
- Genius, no?
- And it's just dried-out shrimp eggs?

619
00:28:07,418 --> 00:28:10,626
Correct. Worthless. Yet the little ones
send me their allowance money.

620
00:28:10,626 --> 00:28:14,418
- Defrauding children. Lovely.
- Don't get me wrong. I love the children.

621
00:28:14,918 --> 00:28:18,251
Although due to a cruel prank of nature,
I can have none of my own.

622
00:28:18,251 --> 00:28:20,209
- [both gasp]
- What are you looking at?

623
00:28:20,793 --> 00:28:22,501
Don't you see I'm pouring my heart out?!

624
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,251
[in Italian] Don't send me back to Italy.

625
00:28:24,251 --> 00:28:28,334
I have debts. Serious men want to hurt me.

626
00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:30,709
That's some good seafood.

627
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:33,543
I thought you said these were geniuses.

628
00:28:33,543 --> 00:28:35,751
These were the geniuses that we could get.

629
00:28:36,251 --> 00:28:39,543
- I gotta talk to Jack about--
- That fruit juicer in his pants?

630
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:40,918
[Bob] Yeah, it's a focus puller.

631
00:28:40,918 --> 00:28:44,459
Does he go on TV like that? Do they shoot
him from the waist up like Elvis?

632
00:28:44,459 --> 00:28:46,459
- [Stan] I hope so.
- [beeping]

633
00:28:46,459 --> 00:28:47,959
[whirs, dings]

634
00:28:50,001 --> 00:28:51,126
He's right.

635
00:28:52,418 --> 00:28:54,418
[whimsical music playing]

636
00:28:56,084 --> 00:28:58,084
[inaudible]

637
00:28:59,334 --> 00:29:01,793
- So, how was your hotel?
- Oh, it's nice.

638
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,209
They've got me at the Holiday Inn.

639
00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:05,209
[Stan] Can't go wrong
with the Holiday Inn.

640
00:29:05,209 --> 00:29:07,126
[Purvis] Ice machines on every floor.

641
00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:09,293
[Stan] Clean, paper bands
on the toilet seat.

642
00:29:09,293 --> 00:29:10,501
Classy operation.

643
00:29:11,251 --> 00:29:13,709
Okay, so just to be clear,
you want a smooth look.

644
00:29:13,709 --> 00:29:17,293
That gets weird too. I'm not a doll.
But I'll be one if you want me to be.

645
00:29:17,293 --> 00:29:18,834
Just do something. I don't care.

646
00:29:18,834 --> 00:29:21,043
- Ah! You got it, boss. [chuckles]
- [Bob] Okay.

647
00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:23,834
[whimsical music plays]

648
00:29:24,876 --> 00:29:27,001
[dramatic music playing]

649
00:29:27,001 --> 00:29:28,334
They got LaLanne?

650
00:29:30,459 --> 00:29:32,251
They're stacking the deck with ringers.

651
00:29:33,334 --> 00:29:34,834
I had them on their backs,

652
00:29:35,376 --> 00:29:37,043
flipped over like a turtle.

653
00:29:37,959 --> 00:29:40,834
- How long before we're on shelves?
- We're not out the lab yet.

654
00:29:40,834 --> 00:29:43,293
We're figuring out
what's causing the buttock rashes.

655
00:29:43,293 --> 00:29:46,834
You are a rash on my buttocks, Ludwin.

656
00:29:46,834 --> 00:29:50,043
- We also need a name.
- What's the best we have right now?

657
00:29:50,043 --> 00:29:51,459
Well, we're down to three.

658
00:29:51,459 --> 00:29:55,334
Dextrose Dillies, Wonder Gels,
and Fresh Flatties.

659
00:29:56,126 --> 00:29:57,043
Hmm.

660
00:29:57,043 --> 00:30:00,168
Those are all pretty strong.
There's one clear winner.

661
00:30:00,168 --> 00:30:01,084
Yes.

662
00:30:01,084 --> 00:30:02,751
- Dextrose Dillies.
- Fresh Flatties.

663
00:30:03,251 --> 00:30:07,251
Ludwin, just get those
goddamn fruit flabby funk fritters,

664
00:30:07,251 --> 00:30:10,459
whatever the hell they're called,
out the door and down kids' throats.

665
00:30:10,459 --> 00:30:13,334
But, ma'am, we haven't even
negotiated for shelf space yet.

666
00:30:13,876 --> 00:30:15,001
Leave that to me.

667
00:30:16,293 --> 00:30:17,668
I like Funk Fritters.

668
00:30:17,668 --> 00:30:20,334
It's fun. Zippy. Let's go with that.

669
00:30:20,334 --> 00:30:22,584
Or let's go with this.

670
00:30:23,376 --> 00:30:24,418
[yelping]

671
00:30:24,418 --> 00:30:27,251
[wondrous music playing]

672
00:30:28,459 --> 00:30:31,751
Do you think we should've hired people
that know more about food?

673
00:30:31,751 --> 00:30:33,043
Could have.

674
00:30:33,043 --> 00:30:38,709
[Thurl] Trumpets, fanfare, alarums,
for rehearsal is about to commence.

675
00:30:38,709 --> 00:30:41,959
This space has been reserved
for me and my players.

676
00:30:41,959 --> 00:30:43,209
To do what?

677
00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:44,834
Philip, a flyer, please.

678
00:30:46,209 --> 00:30:49,001
{\an8}"Kellogg's Cereals presents
Thurl Ravenscroft as King Lear."

679
00:30:49,001 --> 00:30:52,043
{\an8}"Entirely reconceived and reimagined
by Thurl Ravenscroft,

680
00:30:52,043 --> 00:30:54,293
starring Thurl Ravenscroft."

681
00:30:54,293 --> 00:30:57,376
And then it just says
"Thurl Ravenscroft" again at the bottom.

682
00:30:57,376 --> 00:30:59,751
This is Shakespeare for the 1960s.

683
00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:02,626
God knows, as relevant now as ever was.

684
00:31:02,626 --> 00:31:04,876
[whispering] Couldn't be more irrelevant.

685
00:31:04,876 --> 00:31:05,834
[smacks lips]

686
00:31:05,834 --> 00:31:08,001
[Bob] Thurl, you can't be here right now.

687
00:31:08,584 --> 00:31:10,668
I believe my contract is clear.

688
00:31:10,668 --> 00:31:13,501
I play your ridiculous box-top tiger

689
00:31:13,501 --> 00:31:19,543
in exchange for bringing some culture
to the lowborn, dirt-digging Michi-goon.

690
00:31:19,543 --> 00:31:20,709
You mean me?

691
00:31:20,709 --> 00:31:23,001
- I do.
- Stan, thank you.

692
00:31:24,209 --> 00:31:28,084
- Thurl, you are our most important star.
- Hmm.

693
00:31:28,084 --> 00:31:30,668
But we can't prioritize
the high arts right now.

694
00:31:30,668 --> 00:31:34,084
I see. How's the lab, Bob?

695
00:31:34,751 --> 00:31:36,543
Oh, the head temperature.

696
00:31:37,168 --> 00:31:40,376
Great news. They think they can put
a coolant pump in your jowls.

697
00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:41,376
Can they?

698
00:31:41,376 --> 00:31:42,334
No.

699
00:31:42,918 --> 00:31:43,918
Hmm.

700
00:31:43,918 --> 00:31:45,376
I like your Burger King crown.

701
00:31:45,376 --> 00:31:47,876
I like your hairdo.
You look like a telephone.

702
00:31:47,876 --> 00:31:49,584
I like your patchy mustache.

703
00:31:49,584 --> 00:31:52,793
- I like your patchy mustache.
- I like your cadaver teeth.

704
00:31:53,626 --> 00:31:55,626
[brooding music playing]

705
00:31:56,668 --> 00:31:59,001
Beware of entrance to a quarrel.

706
00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:01,459
But once in it...

707
00:32:03,584 --> 00:32:04,626
beware of me.

708
00:32:04,626 --> 00:32:06,376
[music crescendoes, ends]

709
00:32:06,376 --> 00:32:09,543
- What are you, some kind of ding-dong?
- And I'm gone.

710
00:32:10,043 --> 00:32:12,168
Excuse me. Mr. Kellogg needs you.

711
00:32:12,168 --> 00:32:14,459
A meeting of the five cereal families
has been called.

712
00:32:14,459 --> 00:32:15,418
By who?

713
00:32:15,418 --> 00:32:18,293
Who do you think?
Marge Post is making her move.

714
00:32:18,293 --> 00:32:19,668
[dramatic music builds]

715
00:32:21,668 --> 00:32:23,418
I'd like to thank you all for coming.

716
00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:25,126
General Mills,

717
00:32:25,793 --> 00:32:26,626
Ralston,

718
00:32:27,251 --> 00:32:28,376
Quaker,

719
00:32:28,376 --> 00:32:29,293
and Kellogg's.

720
00:32:30,334 --> 00:32:33,876
And thanks to Ernie Keebler
for providing the Fudge Stripes.

721
00:32:34,751 --> 00:32:36,084
Are the snacks complimentary?

722
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:37,876
- Let's just pay attention.
- Right.

723
00:32:37,876 --> 00:32:40,209
Spare us the frosting, Marge.
Just get to it.

724
00:32:40,209 --> 00:32:42,543
And that is why I called this meeting.

725
00:32:43,293 --> 00:32:44,418
Respect.

726
00:32:45,168 --> 00:32:49,751
We at the Post company have
finally broken the fruit pastry barrier.

727
00:32:49,751 --> 00:32:52,918
- Because you stole our research.
- Nevertheless.

728
00:32:52,918 --> 00:32:57,209
Why can't this technology be generic
so that we all can wet our spoons?

729
00:32:57,209 --> 00:32:59,709
- Like we did with Raisin Bran.
- Not this time.

730
00:33:00,418 --> 00:33:02,209
These are my new terms.

731
00:33:02,209 --> 00:33:05,376
From now on,
Post gets premium shelf space.

732
00:33:05,376 --> 00:33:08,043
Nothing near kosher foods or cat chow.

733
00:33:08,043 --> 00:33:12,376
Saturday morning cartoons,
I want <i>Deputy Dawg</i> and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

734
00:33:12,376 --> 00:33:13,668
Oh, come on, Marge!

735
00:33:13,668 --> 00:33:17,668
And I want out of Claymation characters
with religious themes.

736
00:33:17,668 --> 00:33:19,293
It's a snoozer.

737
00:33:19,293 --> 00:33:21,293
Oh, you can put my name on those.

738
00:33:21,293 --> 00:33:24,001
How do we know this thing
is even producible in quantities?

739
00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:26,751
You'll know it when you see it
on store shelves next week

740
00:33:26,751 --> 00:33:28,376
and then flying off them.

741
00:33:29,334 --> 00:33:32,001
Always a little surprise inside,
right, Eddie?

742
00:33:32,001 --> 00:33:32,918
[kisses]

743
00:33:33,543 --> 00:33:35,209
[exhales sharply, gulps]

744
00:33:35,209 --> 00:33:36,834
[chairs scraping]

745
00:33:36,834 --> 00:33:39,376
Next week? I... I thought we had months.

746
00:33:40,543 --> 00:33:41,543
[sighs]

747
00:33:41,543 --> 00:33:44,334
What was that? You don't like him, do you?

748
00:33:44,334 --> 00:33:47,584
It could never be, Ludwin.
A Post and a Kellogg, it's forbidden.

749
00:33:47,584 --> 00:33:49,668
[chuckles] Wouldn't that make it sexier?

750
00:33:49,668 --> 00:33:51,709
I hope you die in a car fire.

751
00:33:53,584 --> 00:33:56,126
We're dead. My legacy.

752
00:33:56,126 --> 00:33:57,334
My sod.

753
00:33:58,793 --> 00:34:01,543
It's a bold move to put
chocolate on top of a cookie.

754
00:34:01,543 --> 00:34:04,918
'Cause it's something already sweet,
and then you're doubling down on it.

755
00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:07,168
But I guess
you can never get enough sugar.

756
00:34:07,168 --> 00:34:08,793
[intriguing music playing]

757
00:34:08,793 --> 00:34:11,418
Unless you can't get enough.
Pack your bags.

758
00:34:11,418 --> 00:34:13,959
We're gonna put a kink
in Post's garden hose.

759
00:34:13,959 --> 00:34:16,876
[salsa music playing]

760
00:34:26,334 --> 00:34:28,293
[Bob] Just so you know,
he's very dangerous.

761
00:34:28,293 --> 00:34:30,501
And he loves live entertainment.

762
00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:33,001
And he controls 99% of the world's sugar?

763
00:34:33,001 --> 00:34:36,459
He's a very important man.
They call him El Sucre.

764
00:34:37,084 --> 00:34:40,251
Ah, my Kellogg's friends. Please.

765
00:34:40,251 --> 00:34:42,418
[Bob] El Sucre, so good to see you again.

766
00:34:42,418 --> 00:34:43,793
Amazing house.

767
00:34:43,793 --> 00:34:47,084
Oh, well, thank you.
But the grout on the patio is not right.

768
00:34:47,751 --> 00:34:51,043
These tile guys.
It was supposed to be a white white.

769
00:34:51,043 --> 00:34:54,418
It's more of an off-white.
They have to redo the whole thing.

770
00:34:54,418 --> 00:34:56,959
They show you so many samples,
you make yourself crazy.

771
00:34:57,918 --> 00:34:59,001
You say I'm crazy?

772
00:34:59,001 --> 00:35:00,959
[unsettling music builds]

773
00:35:03,293 --> 00:35:04,126
No.

774
00:35:04,126 --> 00:35:05,626
[music ends]

775
00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:10,126
El Sucre, we want to
significantly increase our monthly sugar.

776
00:35:10,126 --> 00:35:12,709
Yes. My special white powder
gets a grip on you, no?

777
00:35:12,709 --> 00:35:14,501
But business can wait.

778
00:35:14,501 --> 00:35:18,709
In this hard life, we must also enjoy, no?
A little entertainment, hmm?

779
00:35:18,709 --> 00:35:22,418
From Cal Neva Lodge in Nevada,
please welcome Eddie Mink and Danny.

780
00:35:22,418 --> 00:35:24,376
- [Stan] Uh...
- [El Sucre applauding]

781
00:35:24,376 --> 00:35:25,668
Thank you very much.

782
00:35:26,918 --> 00:35:27,918
Hey, Danny.

783
00:35:27,918 --> 00:35:29,834
How about this beautiful house?

784
00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:32,668
Yeah, if you don't mind the bad grout job.

785
00:35:32,668 --> 00:35:34,626
[laughing] Oh, he went right to it.

786
00:35:34,626 --> 00:35:36,376
[Danny] What's the big deal?

787
00:35:36,376 --> 00:35:38,251
There are blobs. It's all--

788
00:35:38,918 --> 00:35:39,834
[whimpers]

789
00:35:39,834 --> 00:35:42,584
Such a hard job, making people laugh.

790
00:35:42,584 --> 00:35:43,668
But so important.

791
00:35:43,668 --> 00:35:45,876
Anyway, gentlemen, back to business. Hmm?

792
00:35:46,501 --> 00:35:47,793
[gun fires]

793
00:35:51,334 --> 00:35:52,334
[Stan] Hmm.

794
00:35:52,334 --> 00:35:55,751
- El Sucre, sugar is why we came.
- [El Sucre] Yes, it is why everyone comes.

795
00:35:55,751 --> 00:35:58,334
- How much are we talking?
- We want all of it.

796
00:35:58,334 --> 00:36:00,918
So you're finally
going to finish off Post.

797
00:36:01,418 --> 00:36:02,834
That will cost you quite a bit.

798
00:36:02,834 --> 00:36:06,001
We have something very big coming out.
Money will not be an issue.

799
00:36:06,001 --> 00:36:06,918
Oh. I know it won't.

800
00:36:06,918 --> 00:36:10,459
Because in my business, we have a saying.
"Pay us, or we kill you."

801
00:36:11,126 --> 00:36:12,709
- Appreciate it.
- [El Sucre] Yes.

802
00:36:13,251 --> 00:36:16,584
- All right, then. Then there we have it.
- Yes.

803
00:36:16,584 --> 00:36:19,876
Okay. Thank you for, uh,
you know, the spread and--

804
00:36:19,876 --> 00:36:21,251
No, please. Thank you for coming.

805
00:36:21,251 --> 00:36:23,668
And good luck
with everything that you're doing,

806
00:36:23,668 --> 00:36:25,709
which we didn't have
a chance to talk about.

807
00:36:25,709 --> 00:36:27,043
Next time.

808
00:36:27,043 --> 00:36:28,459
- [chuckles]
- [El Sucre] Eh...

809
00:36:30,418 --> 00:36:32,251
[Danny] I'm dying, Eddie!

810
00:36:32,251 --> 00:36:33,709
[shushing]

811
00:36:33,709 --> 00:36:35,251
You done good, kid.

812
00:36:35,251 --> 00:36:38,709
- You done real good.
- I can't believe he's still doing the act.

813
00:36:38,709 --> 00:36:40,251
- He's a professional.
- Mmm.

814
00:36:42,168 --> 00:36:44,251
- [Edsel] You bought all of it?
- All of it.

815
00:36:44,251 --> 00:36:47,084
I mean, that's a lot of sugar
and a lot of money.

816
00:36:47,084 --> 00:36:49,293
And you don't play with El Sucre.

817
00:36:49,293 --> 00:36:51,959
- It's going to work.
- It already has.

818
00:36:52,751 --> 00:36:53,834
[Edsel] Let me see.

819
00:36:56,626 --> 00:37:00,459
No smoke out of the stacks.
They're not making anything.

820
00:37:01,084 --> 00:37:02,126
Oh, this is good.

821
00:37:02,126 --> 00:37:04,626
[smooth jazz music playing]

822
00:37:04,626 --> 00:37:06,751
This is very good.

823
00:37:07,251 --> 00:37:09,001
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]

824
00:37:11,334 --> 00:37:14,751
- Are you okay, ma'am?
- Of course. Did you find us any sugar?

825
00:37:14,751 --> 00:37:16,668
I might have something better.

826
00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:20,418
It's an artificial sweetener.
They call it Carcin-O-Sweet.

827
00:37:20,418 --> 00:37:22,876
A thousand times sweeter than sugar.

828
00:37:22,876 --> 00:37:25,793
But the health problems
are off the charts.

829
00:37:25,793 --> 00:37:29,418
Darty eyes, gout,
tongue loss, night terrors, night sweats,

830
00:37:29,418 --> 00:37:31,959
and, our old friend, buttock rashes.

831
00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:33,084
Stop.

832
00:37:35,918 --> 00:37:37,626
Okay. Uh, what about this?

833
00:37:37,626 --> 00:37:40,043
What if we completely change direction?

834
00:37:40,043 --> 00:37:41,334
Eliminate all sugar.

835
00:37:41,334 --> 00:37:45,001
Become the first
healthy lifestyle breakfast brand.

836
00:37:45,001 --> 00:37:47,126
Make a negative a positive.

837
00:37:47,918 --> 00:37:49,126
For the children.

838
00:37:49,126 --> 00:37:51,751
Imagine a new American generation,

839
00:37:52,709 --> 00:37:55,793
fit, healthy, even-tempered.

840
00:37:55,793 --> 00:37:57,834
So, what do you think?

841
00:37:57,834 --> 00:37:59,209
- [grunts]
- [body thuds on floor]

842
00:38:01,334 --> 00:38:02,584
[typewriter thuds on floor]

843
00:38:04,251 --> 00:38:06,543
[cheerful music playing]

844
00:38:07,126 --> 00:38:08,001
[both] Mmm.

845
00:38:08,793 --> 00:38:10,126
[dog barking]

846
00:38:10,793 --> 00:38:14,293
[suspicious music playing]

847
00:38:22,251 --> 00:38:23,376
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]

848
00:38:23,376 --> 00:38:26,834
- Something I can help you with?
- No, I was just admiring your rig.

849
00:38:26,834 --> 00:38:27,751
Sweet ride.

850
00:38:27,751 --> 00:38:29,001
Sure is.

851
00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:32,418
You know, it's the calcium
in milk that keeps bones strong.

852
00:38:32,418 --> 00:38:35,209
- Uh-huh.
- Without milk, bones can break.

853
00:38:35,209 --> 00:38:36,959
They just snap.

854
00:38:37,459 --> 00:38:40,084
- Have a good day, Mr. Cabana.
- Yeah. You... you too.

855
00:38:42,459 --> 00:38:43,418
{\an8}[pensive music playing]

856
00:38:43,418 --> 00:38:46,084
{\an8}[Bob] We don't have much time.
How close are the taste pilots?

857
00:38:46,084 --> 00:38:47,376
They're very, very far away.

858
00:38:47,376 --> 00:38:50,501
Maybe they're so far away
they're closer than they realize.

859
00:38:50,501 --> 00:38:51,501
[sighs]

860
00:38:51,501 --> 00:38:53,293
I don't think he listens to you.

861
00:38:53,876 --> 00:38:55,793
- [Stan] What's that?
- I said that--

862
00:38:55,793 --> 00:38:57,293
[Bob] Okay, Steve, showtime.

863
00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:00,959
I haven't been able
to come up with any food things per se.

864
00:39:00,959 --> 00:39:03,751
But I built this new Sting-Ray bike

865
00:39:03,751 --> 00:39:07,084
that's smaller and easier
for a kid to handle.

866
00:39:07,084 --> 00:39:08,084
What?

867
00:39:08,084 --> 00:39:09,001
[bike bell ringing]

868
00:39:09,001 --> 00:39:12,168
It doesn't matter what you make.
It matters what you call it.

869
00:39:12,168 --> 00:39:15,834
Which is why we should call
our new product Kellogg's Puss.

870
00:39:16,668 --> 00:39:19,209
Is that an ice cream cake of me?

871
00:39:19,209 --> 00:39:20,251
Yes.

872
00:39:20,251 --> 00:39:23,334
- I see no wasted time here.
- You got the nose right.

873
00:39:23,918 --> 00:39:25,334
Well, in addition to our mission,

874
00:39:25,334 --> 00:39:29,168
I realized that I was on the wrong track
pants-wise until a friend set me straight.

875
00:39:29,168 --> 00:39:32,543
That's why I invented
the Kellogg's Sauna Suit,

876
00:39:32,543 --> 00:39:36,876
foil-lined inflatable weight-loss pants
that lock in heat and moisture

877
00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:40,459
and say to the world,
"Hey, eyes up here, not down there."

878
00:39:41,376 --> 00:39:43,126
[suit pops, whistles]

879
00:39:43,126 --> 00:39:45,209
Inspired by his ravioli,

880
00:39:45,209 --> 00:39:50,126
we have crimped the pastry edge square
to hold the jelly in.

881
00:39:50,126 --> 00:39:53,584
- That's something.
- I call it the Kellogg's Fruit Monkey.

882
00:39:53,584 --> 00:39:54,584
[exclaims]

883
00:39:55,168 --> 00:39:56,376
[Bob] Ah.

884
00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:57,584
[suspenseful music playing]

885
00:39:57,584 --> 00:39:58,793
- [Stan] Ooh.
- Whoa.

886
00:39:58,793 --> 00:40:01,209
What do you do? Why is it moving?

887
00:40:01,209 --> 00:40:03,584
[in Italian] I made Sea-Monkey ravioli.

888
00:40:03,584 --> 00:40:06,959
- They put the Sea-Monkeys inside.
- I said strawberries, you fool.

889
00:40:06,959 --> 00:40:09,459
Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs.

890
00:40:09,959 --> 00:40:12,876
I've entered all the data
into UNIVAC to analyze.

891
00:40:12,876 --> 00:40:14,293
[music crescendoes, ends]

892
00:40:16,251 --> 00:40:17,168
"Post wins."

893
00:40:18,376 --> 00:40:19,209
[sighs]

894
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:22,209
I didn't need
a million-dollar abacus to tell me that.

895
00:40:23,168 --> 00:40:24,084
It's garbage.

896
00:40:25,084 --> 00:40:26,126
All garbage.

897
00:40:26,668 --> 00:40:28,668
[melancholic music playing]

898
00:40:30,543 --> 00:40:33,334
- Now what?
- Now what? You were my now what.

899
00:40:33,334 --> 00:40:36,459
These guys were your now what.
You tell me now what.

900
00:40:36,459 --> 00:40:38,251
[Steve] So, are we done?

901
00:40:38,751 --> 00:40:41,459
I just moved my whole family here.

902
00:40:41,459 --> 00:40:43,376
My... my wife is in a reading group.

903
00:40:43,376 --> 00:40:44,668
She chose the book.

904
00:40:44,668 --> 00:40:46,876
I was going to the moon, Schwinn.

905
00:40:46,876 --> 00:40:48,459
I was going to Argentina.

906
00:40:50,126 --> 00:40:51,251
[Bob exhales]

907
00:40:58,543 --> 00:40:59,876
- [clatters]
- [boy] Ow!

908
00:40:59,876 --> 00:41:01,584
Oh, hi, Mr. Cabana.

909
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:03,668
Butchie, Cathy,
what are you guys doing here?

910
00:41:03,668 --> 00:41:05,626
Why-- Why aren't you
in the Post dumpsters?

911
00:41:05,626 --> 00:41:08,168
They started spraying
coyote urine to keep us out.

912
00:41:08,168 --> 00:41:11,668
Oh, that's a shame. Well, you won't find
anything good in our trash.

913
00:41:11,668 --> 00:41:14,209
- Oh yeah? Look at this.
- What is that?

914
00:41:14,209 --> 00:41:16,709
It's stale Rice Krispies
and melted marshmallows.

915
00:41:16,709 --> 00:41:17,918
It's a treat.

916
00:41:17,918 --> 00:41:20,376
You know, Bob,
we've been through this before.

917
00:41:20,376 --> 00:41:24,209
When you're dealing with garbage, you have
to let go of conventional expectation.

918
00:41:24,209 --> 00:41:26,126
Just combine whatever you have.

919
00:41:26,126 --> 00:41:28,751
You kids sure get philosophical
in these dumpsters.

920
00:41:35,751 --> 00:41:37,376
Combine whatever you have.

921
00:41:39,959 --> 00:41:42,459
- [dramatic music building]
- [bike bell ringing]

922
00:41:44,251 --> 00:41:45,501
- [gasps]
- [music stops]

923
00:41:47,209 --> 00:41:49,168
Boy, they don't pull any punches.

924
00:41:49,168 --> 00:41:51,626
- You ever eaten garbage, Stan?
- Sure.

925
00:41:51,626 --> 00:41:55,209
You let go of all your expectations
and just combine whatever you have.

926
00:41:55,709 --> 00:41:57,043
Let me show you something.

927
00:41:58,043 --> 00:42:00,043
Chef Boyardee and Sea-Monkey Guy,

928
00:42:00,043 --> 00:42:04,501
the clever crimping
of the pastry edge to seal in the filling.

929
00:42:04,501 --> 00:42:07,251
Tom Carvel, the importance of the name.

930
00:42:07,251 --> 00:42:08,751
Okay. Okay.

931
00:42:09,334 --> 00:42:11,209
So, Jack LaLanne,

932
00:42:11,209 --> 00:42:14,459
metal-lined hot pants,
keeping his fruits moist and fresh.

933
00:42:14,459 --> 00:42:16,001
[Bob] Yes. UNIVAC.

934
00:42:16,001 --> 00:42:18,793
The punch cards,
rectangular shape with holes in it.

935
00:42:18,793 --> 00:42:21,418
And Steve Schwinn, sweet little Steve,

936
00:42:21,418 --> 00:42:24,084
who invents things
that are easy for kids to handle.

937
00:42:24,084 --> 00:42:26,293
And maybe they can't handle an oven.

938
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:29,293
- But they can handle a toaster.
- A toaster.

939
00:42:29,293 --> 00:42:30,293
[snaps fingers] Yah!

940
00:42:30,293 --> 00:42:32,376
Which means two-per-foil pack...

941
00:42:32,376 --> 00:42:33,376
[chalk scribbling]

942
00:42:33,376 --> 00:42:34,584
...rectangular shape,

943
00:42:35,168 --> 00:42:36,293
crimped edges,

944
00:42:36,293 --> 00:42:37,459
fruit-filled,

945
00:42:38,251 --> 00:42:39,334
and a catchy name.

946
00:42:39,334 --> 00:42:40,501
Press the handle down.

947
00:42:41,168 --> 00:42:42,084
[gasps]

948
00:42:42,709 --> 00:42:46,376
Stan, my friend, I believe
we have split the atom of breakfast.

949
00:42:46,376 --> 00:42:49,543
[epic music plays]

950
00:42:49,543 --> 00:42:51,751
["The Twist" by Chubby Checker playing]

951
00:42:52,293 --> 00:42:54,126
<i>♪ Let's do the twist ♪</i>

952
00:42:54,126 --> 00:42:55,709
[vocalizing]

953
00:42:55,709 --> 00:42:58,293
<i>♪ Come on, baby ♪</i>

954
00:42:58,293 --> 00:43:00,001
<i>♪ Let's do the twist ♪</i>

955
00:43:01,043 --> 00:43:02,584
<i>♪ Take me by my little hand</i>... ♪

956
00:43:02,584 --> 00:43:03,668
[blowing raspberry]

957
00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:06,209
<i>♪ And go like this ♪</i>

958
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,376
<i>♪ E-yah twist ♪</i>

959
00:43:10,001 --> 00:43:11,501
<i>♪ Baby, baby, twist... ♪</i>

960
00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:13,376
That Carvel does a pretty good twist.

961
00:43:13,376 --> 00:43:17,168
- That's how his ice cream comes out.
- Seems lewd, animalistic.

962
00:43:17,168 --> 00:43:20,293
- Girls love guys that can do the twist.
- Why?

963
00:43:20,293 --> 00:43:23,251
The shoulder motion
in opposition to the hip rotation.

964
00:43:23,251 --> 00:43:25,001
It implies financial stability.

965
00:43:25,001 --> 00:43:26,876
- [Bob] Mmm.
- Oh.

966
00:43:27,834 --> 00:43:31,084
You know, Boyardee,
our Sea-Monkey creation is evolving.

967
00:43:31,084 --> 00:43:33,376
I put him in an aquarium and he swam.

968
00:43:33,918 --> 00:43:34,751
So happy.

969
00:43:34,751 --> 00:43:37,209
It's a miracle. He's a real boy.

970
00:43:37,209 --> 00:43:38,376
[chuckling]

971
00:43:38,376 --> 00:43:40,876
[in Italian] Whatever he is,
he belongs in a can.

972
00:43:40,876 --> 00:43:42,543
[laughs]

973
00:43:42,543 --> 00:43:45,376
So how close are we
to an edible prototype?

974
00:43:45,376 --> 00:43:48,584
I can tell you when
we're not gonna have it, tomorrow morning.

975
00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:50,709
- I need a pants chug! Whoo!
- [clinking]

976
00:43:50,709 --> 00:43:53,959
[all chanting] Pants chug!
Pants chug! Pants chug!

977
00:43:53,959 --> 00:43:55,668
[all cheering]

978
00:43:58,209 --> 00:44:00,043
[curious music playing]

979
00:44:00,043 --> 00:44:01,334
[mumbles]

980
00:44:03,876 --> 00:44:04,793
[clinking]

981
00:44:04,793 --> 00:44:06,876
[dramatic music playing]

982
00:44:12,168 --> 00:44:13,251
[yelling]

983
00:44:14,668 --> 00:44:15,751
[squeaking]

984
00:44:15,751 --> 00:44:18,209
- [dramatic music crescendoes]
- [grunts angrily]

985
00:44:18,918 --> 00:44:21,251
[smooth jazz music playing]

986
00:44:23,376 --> 00:44:27,168
Sugar. We need sugar, Ludwin.
What did the Hawaiians say?

987
00:44:27,168 --> 00:44:29,584
They need everything
they have for those pineapple rings.

988
00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:31,709
- Sugar Ray Robinson?
- No, just a nickname.

989
00:44:31,709 --> 00:44:33,918
- Really?
- If only we could get to Cuba.

990
00:44:33,918 --> 00:44:36,793
Cuba? I know who may be able to help.

991
00:44:37,418 --> 00:44:40,501
But he's a short, ill-tempered
bald man with a twisted mind.

992
00:44:40,501 --> 00:44:43,251
- Uncle Fester?
- No. But I like that show.

993
00:44:43,251 --> 00:44:44,793
Pack your bags, Ludwin.

994
00:44:44,793 --> 00:44:46,626
We're going to Moscow.

995
00:44:46,626 --> 00:44:48,876
[patriotic song playing]

996
00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:52,126
[tires screeching]

997
00:44:58,876 --> 00:44:59,918
[song ends]

998
00:44:59,918 --> 00:45:04,501
Thank you so much for helping us
with our little sugar problem, Nikita.

999
00:45:04,501 --> 00:45:06,793
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1000
00:45:06,793 --> 00:45:09,834
He wants badly know,
how hold up deal on your end?

1001
00:45:09,834 --> 00:45:13,293
Now, you asked
for a fun American-style children's cereal

1002
00:45:13,293 --> 00:45:15,709
for Soviet Russia, and we heard you.

1003
00:45:15,709 --> 00:45:17,834
But we're not listening
or spying or anything.

1004
00:45:18,459 --> 00:45:22,293
[inhales deeply] It's no secret
Russian children like beets.

1005
00:45:22,293 --> 00:45:23,751
So they'll love

1006
00:45:24,751 --> 00:45:25,793
Borscht Loops.

1007
00:45:25,793 --> 00:45:27,876
[whimsical music playing]

1008
00:45:28,709 --> 00:45:30,251
Okay. Next up,

1009
00:45:30,834 --> 00:45:32,001
Krumb-Lins.

1010
00:45:32,001 --> 00:45:33,209
Nothing but crumbs.

1011
00:45:34,543 --> 00:45:35,584
[Marjorie] And, finally,

1012
00:45:35,584 --> 00:45:39,751
say hello to everyone's favorite
liquor-based cereal treat,

1013
00:45:40,376 --> 00:45:42,293
Count Vodkulas.

1014
00:45:42,293 --> 00:45:44,834
[in Eastern European accent]
"I want to eat your cereal."

1015
00:45:44,834 --> 00:45:46,001
[whispering] Shut up.

1016
00:45:46,501 --> 00:45:47,834
Would you like to try one?

1017
00:45:47,834 --> 00:45:48,876
Hmm.

1018
00:45:49,418 --> 00:45:50,793
[box ripping open]

1019
00:45:51,751 --> 00:45:52,709
You taste first.

1020
00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:55,834
People try to poison Mr. Khrushchev.

1021
00:45:57,126 --> 00:45:57,959
Try it, Ludwin.

1022
00:45:58,709 --> 00:46:00,918
But this has been out
of our sight since customs.

1023
00:46:00,918 --> 00:46:02,001
Eat it.

1024
00:46:02,001 --> 00:46:04,084
[suspenseful music playing]

1025
00:46:05,376 --> 00:46:06,709
[crunching]

1026
00:46:10,293 --> 00:46:11,334
Mmm.

1027
00:46:12,584 --> 00:46:14,168
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1028
00:46:14,168 --> 00:46:15,126
Is deal.

1029
00:46:15,126 --> 00:46:18,751
Terrific. When can we expect
our first sugar shipment?

1030
00:46:18,751 --> 00:46:21,918
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1031
00:46:21,918 --> 00:46:25,418
He says it all depends on
whether you make the sex with him tonight.

1032
00:46:25,418 --> 00:46:26,376
Wow.

1033
00:46:27,543 --> 00:46:28,959
- Ma'am.
- Mm-hmm.

1034
00:46:28,959 --> 00:46:31,334
- We really need that sugar.
- You wanna do it?

1035
00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:34,209
No. But I ate the poison cereal
and I'm fine.

1036
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:37,584
[inhales sharply] Oh.

1037
00:46:37,584 --> 00:46:39,209
[cheerful music playing]

1038
00:46:41,376 --> 00:46:42,293
[dramatic sting]

1039
00:46:43,459 --> 00:46:45,459
[suspicious music playing]

1040
00:46:52,126 --> 00:46:53,626
- [Mike] Quick question.
- [gasps]

1041
00:46:53,626 --> 00:46:55,501
You think this milk's still okay to drink?

1042
00:46:55,501 --> 00:46:57,584
- What? How would I know?
- [Mike] Smell it.

1043
00:46:57,584 --> 00:46:59,126
[sniffs, groans]

1044
00:46:59,126 --> 00:47:00,126
It's not good.

1045
00:47:00,709 --> 00:47:02,168
What's the expiration?

1046
00:47:02,168 --> 00:47:03,251
[body thuds on ground]

1047
00:47:03,834 --> 00:47:05,376
[in high-pitched voice] July 3rd.

1048
00:47:06,376 --> 00:47:07,543
[cowbell clanging]

1049
00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:11,168
[suspenseful music playing]

1050
00:47:18,793 --> 00:47:19,709
Rise and shine.

1051
00:47:20,626 --> 00:47:21,793
[cowbell clanging]

1052
00:47:25,834 --> 00:47:29,126
Welcome to Friendly Farms, Mr. Cabana,

1053
00:47:29,126 --> 00:47:31,876
where life begins.

1054
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:35,084
[sinister music playing]

1055
00:47:37,959 --> 00:47:41,459
That milk you smelled
expired five weeks ago.

1056
00:47:42,126 --> 00:47:43,418
Another minute,

1057
00:47:43,418 --> 00:47:45,668
and you wouldn't be smelling
anything right now.

1058
00:47:45,668 --> 00:47:49,376
- Are you a milkman?
- The name's Harry Friendly.

1059
00:47:50,418 --> 00:47:52,501
And you might say I am <i>the</i> milkman.

1060
00:47:53,876 --> 00:47:57,168
You know the first taste
a human being experiences at birth?

1061
00:47:57,668 --> 00:47:59,251
- Applesauce?
- Oh.

1062
00:48:00,626 --> 00:48:02,501
Milk, Mr. Cabana.

1063
00:48:02,501 --> 00:48:03,418
Right.

1064
00:48:03,418 --> 00:48:07,459
And in the milk business, we are not
just part of the American dream.

1065
00:48:07,459 --> 00:48:10,459
We are the white
in the red, white, and blue.

1066
00:48:10,459 --> 00:48:14,209
We are the cream
that rises so famously to the top,

1067
00:48:14,209 --> 00:48:16,793
and you, Mr. Cabana,

1068
00:48:16,793 --> 00:48:22,043
have become the annoying white ring
that sticks to the bottom.

1069
00:48:22,043 --> 00:48:24,334
Because despite all your years
in the breakfast game,

1070
00:48:24,334 --> 00:48:26,418
you seem to have missed something.

1071
00:48:26,418 --> 00:48:27,709
[inhales deeply]

1072
00:48:28,251 --> 00:48:30,876
There's no cereal business without us.

1073
00:48:30,876 --> 00:48:34,543
So you can see
how it really frosts my <i>huevos</i>

1074
00:48:34,543 --> 00:48:39,043
to see you relieving yourself
in our flowing rivers of white gold.

1075
00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:41,709
How long we known each other, Bob?

1076
00:48:41,709 --> 00:48:44,084
[smacks lips, inhales]
Since you captured me.

1077
00:48:44,084 --> 00:48:45,001
Oh.

1078
00:48:45,001 --> 00:48:46,043
What to do?

1079
00:48:48,293 --> 00:48:49,126
What to do?

1080
00:48:50,334 --> 00:48:54,501
Ah! Just so you don't forget
about me and the boys here,

1081
00:48:54,501 --> 00:48:55,876
walk him down the aisle.

1082
00:48:55,876 --> 00:48:57,334
He's a family man, sir.

1083
00:48:57,334 --> 00:48:58,918
I said the aisle!

1084
00:48:58,918 --> 00:49:02,293
The aisle? What's the aisle?
Like in a movie theater or a concert hall?

1085
00:49:02,293 --> 00:49:04,668
Oh, there's gonna be a concert. [laughs]

1086
00:49:04,668 --> 00:49:06,084
[dramatic music plays]

1087
00:49:06,084 --> 00:49:07,584
- [Bob grunts]
- [cow mooing]

1088
00:49:09,793 --> 00:49:11,251
[flies buzzing]

1089
00:49:11,251 --> 00:49:13,084
[dramatic music builds]

1090
00:49:14,251 --> 00:49:15,959
[cows farting]

1091
00:49:16,501 --> 00:49:17,876
[holds breath]

1092
00:49:19,043 --> 00:49:20,043
[screaming]

1093
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:22,876
- [Bob's wife] Bob?
- [shower running]

1094
00:49:22,876 --> 00:49:24,209
[Bob] One more minute.

1095
00:49:24,209 --> 00:49:26,918
Honey, you've been
in there for over an hour.

1096
00:49:26,918 --> 00:49:28,626
I'm sure you're clean.

1097
00:49:28,626 --> 00:49:29,918
[Bob] But my mind!

1098
00:49:30,501 --> 00:49:32,918
How do I wash it out of my mind?

1099
00:49:34,293 --> 00:49:36,876
And how is my baby today?

1100
00:49:36,876 --> 00:49:39,084
Daddy brought breakfast, my yum-yum.

1101
00:49:40,501 --> 00:49:42,876
[suspicious music playing]

1102
00:49:42,876 --> 00:49:45,418
[dramatic music plays]

1103
00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:49,001
It's gone. What have you done with him,
you noodle-sucking garlic knot?

1104
00:49:49,001 --> 00:49:51,751
[in Italian]
I have traditional holiday cake.

1105
00:49:51,751 --> 00:49:53,168
- [faint tapping]
- [gasps]

1106
00:49:53,959 --> 00:49:54,793
He's in the walls.

1107
00:49:54,793 --> 00:49:56,084
[yells, gasps]

1108
00:49:56,084 --> 00:49:57,376
[pasta creature wailing]

1109
00:49:57,376 --> 00:49:58,459
Little one?

1110
00:49:59,293 --> 00:50:00,834
I have fishy food for you.

1111
00:50:01,709 --> 00:50:03,709
[in Italian] Fishy food for you!

1112
00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:05,626
Come and see.

1113
00:50:05,626 --> 00:50:07,668
[sobbing]

1114
00:50:10,376 --> 00:50:12,959
- I didn't know who else to call.
- You did the right thing.

1115
00:50:12,959 --> 00:50:14,001
[gasps]

1116
00:50:15,168 --> 00:50:16,043
[Edsel] Oh.

1117
00:50:16,043 --> 00:50:18,584
- Hey, guys.
- What did they do to you?

1118
00:50:18,584 --> 00:50:20,626
They made me walk the aisle.

1119
00:50:20,626 --> 00:50:22,543
- Oh.
- Those lactose lowlifes.

1120
00:50:22,543 --> 00:50:24,793
Well, you're not the only one
to take a hit.

1121
00:50:24,793 --> 00:50:28,751
Our first payment to El Sucre was late,
and somehow he gave me diabetes.

1122
00:50:28,751 --> 00:50:29,876
[Stan] I'm sorry. What?

1123
00:50:29,876 --> 00:50:32,793
Oh yeah. I just came from the doctor.

1124
00:50:32,793 --> 00:50:35,668
Ugh! Look, nobody said
this was gonna be easy.

1125
00:50:35,668 --> 00:50:38,418
We had a day at NASA
where we lost Gus Grissom

1126
00:50:38,418 --> 00:50:40,834
and our best space monkey in one accident.

1127
00:50:41,376 --> 00:50:44,834
And their dental records
were so damn similar

1128
00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:47,334
that it was gonna take weeks to sort out.

1129
00:50:47,334 --> 00:50:49,876
Are... are you telling us
there are monkey parts

1130
00:50:49,876 --> 00:50:53,251
mixed in with the remains
of Commander Gus Grissom?

1131
00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:55,876
- That's classified.
- [Edsel] But you just told us.

1132
00:50:55,876 --> 00:50:58,043
- [Stan] No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did. You were there--

1133
00:50:58,043 --> 00:50:59,626
- You said it. I--
- Enough.

1134
00:51:00,209 --> 00:51:02,709
Listen, guys, I'm out of the project.

1135
00:51:02,709 --> 00:51:06,001
- What?
- It's too much. It's gone too far.

1136
00:51:06,001 --> 00:51:09,709
And nobody cares about some stupid
heatable breakfast rectangle anyway.

1137
00:51:09,709 --> 00:51:12,168
[rumbling]

1138
00:51:13,251 --> 00:51:14,709
- Honey?
- What is going on?

1139
00:51:14,709 --> 00:51:16,084
[chopper blades whirring]

1140
00:51:17,001 --> 00:51:20,293
- Something's landing on the lawn.
- That's gonna ruin your yard.

1141
00:51:21,626 --> 00:51:22,876
[knocking on door]

1142
00:51:24,834 --> 00:51:26,459
- Are you guys Kellogg's?
- [Bob] Yes.

1143
00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:30,084
Orders to bring you to the White House.
The president needs to see you. Let's go.

1144
00:51:30,084 --> 00:51:31,001
Go.

1145
00:51:33,126 --> 00:51:34,001
Can I change?

1146
00:51:34,001 --> 00:51:35,584
- There's no time.
- Ah!

1147
00:51:35,584 --> 00:51:37,668
[dramatic music playing]

1148
00:51:40,918 --> 00:51:41,793
[Bob's wife] Oh!

1149
00:51:41,793 --> 00:51:43,709
[Bob] For the love of God!

1150
00:51:44,209 --> 00:51:45,668
[dramatic music continues]

1151
00:51:48,293 --> 00:51:49,418
[music ends]

1152
00:51:49,418 --> 00:51:53,293
You know, I had political ambitions,
but my mom said I wasn't likable.

1153
00:51:53,293 --> 00:51:56,209
- Your mom sounds like a great lady.
- The best.

1154
00:51:56,959 --> 00:51:58,543
What the hell are you wearing?

1155
00:51:58,543 --> 00:52:00,876
It was all they had for me. It was Taft's.

1156
00:52:00,876 --> 00:52:03,584
William Howard Taft,
first 300-pound president.

1157
00:52:03,584 --> 00:52:06,376
There's a half-eaten Baby Ruth
in the pocket.

1158
00:52:06,376 --> 00:52:08,334
Well, chew it slowly. That's history.

1159
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:10,668
[door closes]

1160
00:52:10,668 --> 00:52:14,876
- It's good to see you Kellogg's boys.
- I... Never mind.

1161
00:52:14,876 --> 00:52:18,501
Have you fellas ever considered
calling a cereal Jackie O's?

1162
00:52:18,501 --> 00:52:20,959
Just a pitch,
but I think she'd get a kick out of it.

1163
00:52:20,959 --> 00:52:24,168
Thank you, sir. We'll certainly
take a good hard look at that.

1164
00:52:24,168 --> 00:52:27,918
Yeah, I'm kind of in the doghouse since
you-know-who sang "Happy Birthday" to me.

1165
00:52:27,918 --> 00:52:30,209
Anyway, we have been informed

1166
00:52:30,209 --> 00:52:33,751
that those hacks over at Post
are now working with the goddamn Ruskies.

1167
00:52:33,751 --> 00:52:35,668
Well, why would they do that?

1168
00:52:35,668 --> 00:52:39,209
Well, obviously because you nitwits
cut off their sugar supply.

1169
00:52:39,209 --> 00:52:42,626
Now Khrushchev is trying to help them
get it through Communist Cuba.

1170
00:52:42,626 --> 00:52:44,126
Whole damn island is sugarcane.

1171
00:52:44,126 --> 00:52:47,376
The idea of our American children
waking up in the morning

1172
00:52:47,376 --> 00:52:50,168
to a commie breakfast pastry
really burns my britches.

1173
00:52:50,168 --> 00:52:53,793
They were already burning due to the
aforementioned blonde in the sequin dress.

1174
00:52:53,793 --> 00:52:56,543
You have to win.
Are you making any progress?

1175
00:52:56,543 --> 00:52:59,084
- Progress? Show him, Stan.
- Okay.

1176
00:52:59,084 --> 00:53:01,084
[paper rustling]

1177
00:53:01,084 --> 00:53:02,543
It's not to scale, but...

1178
00:53:03,209 --> 00:53:05,334
Astonishing.
What are you guys, five years old?

1179
00:53:05,918 --> 00:53:09,543
Little John-John draws better than that.
And I think something's wrong with him.

1180
00:53:09,543 --> 00:53:13,709
Mr. President, to be perfectly honest,
we could really use some help.

1181
00:53:13,709 --> 00:53:15,043
Let me get this straight.

1182
00:53:15,543 --> 00:53:18,668
- Did you ask me what <i>I</i> could do for you?
- Well--

1183
00:53:18,668 --> 00:53:21,751
Because I thought I made it
perfectly clear in my inaugural address--

1184
00:53:21,751 --> 00:53:23,209
- You did.
- Great speech.

1185
00:53:23,209 --> 00:53:27,418
"Ask not." What could be clearer?
It's two words. It means don't ask.

1186
00:53:27,418 --> 00:53:30,834
So, not asking, but how about a story?

1187
00:53:31,418 --> 00:53:32,626
Once upon a time,

1188
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:35,793
there was a really nice cereal company

1189
00:53:35,793 --> 00:53:38,793
that had a problem with organized milk.

1190
00:53:38,793 --> 00:53:41,418
Okay, I get it.
I will instruct my brother Bobby

1191
00:53:41,418 --> 00:53:43,418
to tighten the screws
on those cow huggers.

1192
00:53:43,418 --> 00:53:44,793
But not because you asked.

1193
00:53:44,793 --> 00:53:48,668
We won't let you down, Mr. President.
We're gonna do for you like you said.

1194
00:53:49,251 --> 00:53:50,334
- Oy vey.
- [intercom buzzes]

1195
00:53:50,334 --> 00:53:52,584
[secretary] <i>Sir,
your next appointment is here.</i>

1196
00:53:53,293 --> 00:53:55,293
- Uh, who is it?
- [secretary] <i>The Doublemint Twins.</i>

1197
00:53:58,001 --> 00:54:00,293
- In the, uh, outfits?
- Ew.

1198
00:54:00,293 --> 00:54:02,834
[secretary] <i>Yes, Mr. President.
They are in the outfits.</i>

1199
00:54:02,834 --> 00:54:06,751
Gentlemen, if you will excuse me,
it's time for an, uh, executive privilege.

1200
00:54:08,418 --> 00:54:10,668
- May I keep this?
- Ask not.

1201
00:54:11,293 --> 00:54:12,126
Right.

1202
00:54:12,709 --> 00:54:15,376
I assume Jackie's still out buying hats?

1203
00:54:15,376 --> 00:54:19,084
["I'll Be Around"
by Johnny Copeland playing]

1204
00:54:19,084 --> 00:54:20,709
I tried to raise them up.

1205
00:54:21,626 --> 00:54:22,834
I brought them <i>Lear.</i>

1206
00:54:23,751 --> 00:54:27,918
- And they shooed me out, like a fowl wind.
- Well, it doesn't bother me.

1207
00:54:27,918 --> 00:54:31,418
Trouble keeps me in business.
I love other people's anguish.

1208
00:54:32,001 --> 00:54:35,001
Shame. I had tickets for opening night.

1209
00:54:37,126 --> 00:54:40,626
- I'm sorry?
- I saw your <i>12 Angry Men</i> one-man show.

1210
00:54:40,626 --> 00:54:45,209
Oh yes? I felt I never really captured
the anger of men six through nine.

1211
00:54:45,209 --> 00:54:46,709
Profound nonetheless.

1212
00:54:47,918 --> 00:54:48,918
May I?

1213
00:54:49,626 --> 00:54:52,834
- Mike Diamond. Friendly Farms.
- Thurl Ethan Ravenscroft.

1214
00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:56,043
Those, uh, tickets
are nonrefundable, by the way.

1215
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:59,959
Uncouth Kellogg's vulgarians.
Personally, I think their product line

1216
00:54:59,959 --> 00:55:02,334
goes nowhere
without those talented mascots.

1217
00:55:02,334 --> 00:55:03,959
Whoever they are.

1218
00:55:03,959 --> 00:55:05,043
[laughs]

1219
00:55:05,043 --> 00:55:06,293
Yeah, they're all pretty good.

1220
00:55:06,293 --> 00:55:10,251
But Tony the Tiger,
he's the rudder on that ship.

1221
00:55:12,043 --> 00:55:13,959
Pathetic sugar shills.

1222
00:55:13,959 --> 00:55:15,251
Pathetic, I suppose,

1223
00:55:15,251 --> 00:55:18,418
if 14 straight quarters
of record profits is pathetic.

1224
00:55:18,418 --> 00:55:23,251
Those mascot buffoons won't be getting
their four-finger mitts on any of that.

1225
00:55:23,251 --> 00:55:25,251
Well, now, that would be tragic,

1226
00:55:25,251 --> 00:55:27,459
especially with the kind
of leverage they have.

1227
00:55:27,459 --> 00:55:30,376
None of my business, but I don't think
it'd take much for those mascots

1228
00:55:30,376 --> 00:55:33,459
to show old man Kellogg who's milking who.

1229
00:55:34,043 --> 00:55:34,876
Really?

1230
00:55:36,459 --> 00:55:38,376
You think we could-- They could?

1231
00:55:38,376 --> 00:55:42,584
As we milkmen say, "A little cup
of buttermilk with the proper churning

1232
00:55:43,293 --> 00:55:44,959
can become a mighty cheese."

1233
00:55:44,959 --> 00:55:46,209
Is that a fart joke?

1234
00:55:47,376 --> 00:55:48,418
I don't think so.

1235
00:55:49,251 --> 00:55:50,251
Anyway,

1236
00:55:51,709 --> 00:55:52,751
never forget,

1237
00:55:53,751 --> 00:55:54,834
you're great.

1238
00:55:56,293 --> 00:55:58,293
[brooding music playing]

1239
00:56:01,584 --> 00:56:02,834
[news theme music playing]

1240
00:56:02,834 --> 00:56:06,709
Breakfast wars ratcheted up today
as cereal superpower Kellogg's announced

1241
00:56:06,709 --> 00:56:10,334
they too are developing
some sort of toastable whoosie-whatsis.

1242
00:56:10,334 --> 00:56:14,501
Coming up, tensions rise between the US
and Soviets off the coast of Cuba.

1243
00:56:14,501 --> 00:56:17,126
Bobby Kennedy cracks down
on organized milk.

1244
00:56:17,126 --> 00:56:21,251
And the Doublemint Twins
are pregnant with twins of their own,

1245
00:56:21,251 --> 00:56:23,418
as the CBS Evening News continues.

1246
00:56:23,418 --> 00:56:25,793
- [news closing theme plays]
- [director] And we're clear.

1247
00:56:25,793 --> 00:56:28,918
This is a real breakthrough, Corky.
X-ray specs.

1248
00:56:28,918 --> 00:56:30,751
You can see into anything.

1249
00:56:32,293 --> 00:56:33,918
Except my personal drama.

1250
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:36,459
A lot of tension at home.

1251
00:56:37,709 --> 00:56:39,043
- A lot of tension.
- [sighs]

1252
00:56:39,043 --> 00:56:41,334
Gonna be staying late tonight, Corky.

1253
00:56:43,626 --> 00:56:45,626
{\an8}[dramatic music playing]

1254
00:56:51,376 --> 00:56:52,293
[mic feedback]

1255
00:56:56,876 --> 00:56:58,584
[music crescendoes]

1256
00:56:58,584 --> 00:57:01,209
- I like these. I have astigmatism.
- What is that?

1257
00:57:01,209 --> 00:57:04,876
Well, it's a mismatch
of the focusing elements in the eye.

1258
00:57:04,876 --> 00:57:07,334
- Oh. Because--
- Lots of people have it and don't realize.

1259
00:57:07,334 --> 00:57:09,668
- Really?
- Look through the binoculars.

1260
00:57:09,668 --> 00:57:11,959
- Does it seem clearer?
- No, but it's closer.

1261
00:57:11,959 --> 00:57:13,251
Fellas!

1262
00:57:13,251 --> 00:57:14,251
[exasperated sigh]

1263
00:57:14,251 --> 00:57:17,084
Fruit pastry launch system is go.

1264
00:57:17,084 --> 00:57:19,168
[epic music playing]

1265
00:57:21,293 --> 00:57:23,793
[breathing loudly]

1266
00:57:23,793 --> 00:57:26,126
Isn't this overkill?
Bunkers and space suits?

1267
00:57:26,126 --> 00:57:27,876
All standard NASA protocol.

1268
00:57:27,876 --> 00:57:31,251
Plus we're using titanium foil packets
for the product, just to be safe.

1269
00:57:31,251 --> 00:57:33,543
Steve Schwinn, you are a go
for two in the toaster.

1270
00:57:33,543 --> 00:57:35,001
Two in the toaster.

1271
00:57:35,001 --> 00:57:37,293
[epic music continues]

1272
00:57:42,293 --> 00:57:43,793
[Steve breathing heavily]

1273
00:57:43,793 --> 00:57:45,584
Depress mechanism.

1274
00:57:45,584 --> 00:57:47,209
[Steve] Dingus down.

1275
00:57:47,209 --> 00:57:49,334
- [exhales]
- [man] Monitor coils.

1276
00:57:49,334 --> 00:57:51,084
[coils buzzing]

1277
00:57:51,668 --> 00:57:53,751
- Orange.
- What's happening now?

1278
00:57:53,751 --> 00:57:55,751
- It's toasting, sir.
- Come on.

1279
00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:58,709
I'm switching to manual.
Gonna open her up a little.

1280
00:57:58,709 --> 00:58:00,043
- What's he doing?
- Not safe.

1281
00:58:01,209 --> 00:58:02,209
What's he doing?

1282
00:58:02,209 --> 00:58:03,959
He's changing the settings.

1283
00:58:05,209 --> 00:58:06,126
He's at five.

1284
00:58:06,668 --> 00:58:08,126
Six. Seven.

1285
00:58:08,126 --> 00:58:11,168
- I don't like this.
- [Stan] He's at eight. God, 8.5

1286
00:58:11,168 --> 00:58:13,168
Schwinn, lightly brown, lightly brown.

1287
00:58:13,168 --> 00:58:14,959
- [toaster dings]
- [gasps]

1288
00:58:15,543 --> 00:58:16,584
[Bob exhales sharply]

1289
00:58:16,584 --> 00:58:19,376
Proceed with caution.
Fruit filling may be hot.

1290
00:58:19,918 --> 00:58:21,918
[suspenseful music playing]

1291
00:58:28,501 --> 00:58:29,418
[breathes nervously]

1292
00:58:31,459 --> 00:58:33,543
Well, pop a wheelie.

1293
00:58:33,543 --> 00:58:35,126
We've got a treat!

1294
00:58:35,126 --> 00:58:36,334
- We did it!
- There we go!

1295
00:58:36,334 --> 00:58:38,126
- [laughing]
- Whoo!

1296
00:58:39,293 --> 00:58:41,084
- [oxygen hissing]
- [Steve] Oh!

1297
00:58:41,084 --> 00:58:42,376
Oh! Oh!

1298
00:58:42,376 --> 00:58:44,418
No! [yelps]

1299
00:58:44,418 --> 00:58:45,543
Please, no!

1300
00:58:47,793 --> 00:58:48,668
[whimpering]

1301
00:58:48,668 --> 00:58:50,543
- [exploding]
- [all scream]

1302
00:58:54,834 --> 00:58:56,834
[dramatic music playing]

1303
00:59:08,751 --> 00:59:09,709
[music ends]

1304
00:59:09,709 --> 00:59:13,209
- There's nothing left!
- Wait, over there. What's that?

1305
00:59:13,209 --> 00:59:15,293
[triumphant music playing]

1306
00:59:17,126 --> 00:59:18,084
Is that a man?

1307
00:59:18,084 --> 00:59:20,876
Damn right it is.
It's Steve Schwinn. Steve!

1308
00:59:20,876 --> 00:59:22,668
No. It's me, Chuck.

1309
00:59:22,668 --> 00:59:23,584
Steve blew up.

1310
00:59:23,584 --> 00:59:24,668
[both groan]

1311
00:59:24,668 --> 00:59:26,376
Don't go over there. It's gross.

1312
00:59:26,918 --> 00:59:29,084
What's happening? Where's Steve?

1313
00:59:29,084 --> 00:59:32,751
Steve was vaporized,
but we had a funny mix-up with Chuck.

1314
00:59:32,751 --> 00:59:35,001
[bagpipes playing]

1315
00:59:41,793 --> 00:59:44,876
Grain to grain, cows to milk.

1316
00:59:45,418 --> 00:59:48,001
Some settling in life is to be expected.

1317
00:59:48,001 --> 00:59:50,876
Steve Schwinn, however, never settled.

1318
00:59:51,459 --> 00:59:54,334
[Thurl] Steve was gr-r-reat!

1319
00:59:54,334 --> 00:59:55,584
- He'd like that.
- Yeah.

1320
00:59:55,584 --> 00:59:58,751
He lived his life
like he built his bicycles,

1321
00:59:58,751 --> 01:00:00,501
with little regard for safety.

1322
01:00:00,501 --> 01:00:01,418
[Edsel] Mmm.

1323
01:00:01,418 --> 01:00:05,501
When a man gives the last
full-serving suggestion of himself,

1324
01:00:05,501 --> 01:00:11,501
only then is he truly deserving
to be buried with full cereal honors.

1325
01:00:11,501 --> 01:00:13,584
[people murmuring]

1326
01:00:18,251 --> 01:00:21,293
- Full cereal honors, Mrs. Schwinn.
- That's quite an honor.

1327
01:00:21,293 --> 01:00:23,626
- It's a great honor.
- What is happening?

1328
01:00:23,626 --> 01:00:24,709
[squeaking]

1329
01:00:32,668 --> 01:00:33,751
Did you plan this?

1330
01:00:33,751 --> 01:00:34,751
I don't know.

1331
01:00:36,626 --> 01:00:43,626
- [sighs]
<i>- ♪ Ave Maria ♪</i>

1332
01:00:47,459 --> 01:00:54,418
<i>♪ Gratia plena ♪</i>

1333
01:00:54,418 --> 01:01:01,418
<i>♪ Maria, gratia plena ♪</i>

1334
01:01:01,418 --> 01:01:04,751
<i>♪ Maria, gratia... ♪</i>

1335
01:01:04,751 --> 01:01:06,084
Last bowl, huh?

1336
01:01:06,084 --> 01:01:08,668
<i>♪ ...plena ♪</i>

1337
01:01:08,668 --> 01:01:10,959
<i>♪ Ave ♪</i>

1338
01:01:10,959 --> 01:01:16,668
<i>- ♪ Ave dominus ♪</i>
- [sobbing]

1339
01:01:16,668 --> 01:01:18,209
Why?! [sobbing]

1340
01:01:18,209 --> 01:01:19,501
Who... who was she?

1341
01:01:25,209 --> 01:01:26,334
[clears throat]

1342
01:01:26,334 --> 01:01:27,709
- Snap!
- Crackle!

1343
01:01:28,209 --> 01:01:29,459
- Pop!
- Snap!

1344
01:01:29,459 --> 01:01:30,959
- Crackle!
- Pop!

1345
01:01:32,459 --> 01:01:33,501
What is this?

1346
01:01:33,501 --> 01:01:35,959
It's the prize inside, Mrs. Schwinn.

1347
01:01:35,959 --> 01:01:38,084
It's probably one
of those stick-on tattoos.

1348
01:01:38,084 --> 01:01:39,876
It's not permanent.
Just lasts a couple days.

1349
01:01:39,876 --> 01:01:41,084
- Snap!
- [gasps]

1350
01:01:41,084 --> 01:01:42,626
- Crackle!
- Pop!

1351
01:01:44,043 --> 01:01:45,834
You know, your husband died a hero.

1352
01:01:45,834 --> 01:01:48,709
Isn't this a cereal company?
Why did my husband explode?

1353
01:01:49,751 --> 01:01:50,876
Get me out of here.

1354
01:01:51,376 --> 01:01:53,126
- She's upset.
- She'll get over it.

1355
01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:55,834
Or she may never ever recover
from the loss.

1356
01:01:55,834 --> 01:01:57,668
- [Bob] Hmm.
- Look, there.

1357
01:01:57,668 --> 01:02:00,959
[Bob] The milkmen, Russians,
and the Sucre boys.

1358
01:02:00,959 --> 01:02:02,584
The noose is tightening.

1359
01:02:02,584 --> 01:02:04,876
Speaking of tightening,
is that the Taft candy suit?

1360
01:02:04,876 --> 01:02:07,418
- I took it in. What do you think?
- You're looking for a veto.

1361
01:02:07,418 --> 01:02:08,668
- Do it.
- Veto.

1362
01:02:09,418 --> 01:02:10,251
Fair.

1363
01:02:11,001 --> 01:02:12,293
Mascots, gather.

1364
01:02:13,126 --> 01:02:16,876
We have chafed under the yoke
of Kellogg's exploitation for too long.

1365
01:02:16,876 --> 01:02:20,001
I hear their new space rectangle
doesn't even have a mascot.

1366
01:02:20,001 --> 01:02:22,876
- They're phasing us out.
- Indeed they are, good Crackle.

1367
01:02:22,876 --> 01:02:26,043
And they never cut us in. I ask you this.

1368
01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:27,459
Without our faces,

1369
01:02:27,459 --> 01:02:31,043
without our magic, what have you left?

1370
01:02:31,043 --> 01:02:34,168
A cheap bag of horse feed
that we bring to life.

1371
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:37,793
I say we cry havoc
and let slip the dogs of war.

1372
01:02:37,793 --> 01:02:39,334
Are we getting dogs?

1373
01:02:40,418 --> 01:02:41,959
No, no, simple Snap.

1374
01:02:41,959 --> 01:02:46,543
The time has come for us to go on strike.

1375
01:02:47,043 --> 01:02:49,793
[all] Oh.

1376
01:02:49,793 --> 01:02:52,293
But if we have a dog, should we bring it?

1377
01:02:52,918 --> 01:02:54,668
[groovy song playing]

1378
01:02:54,668 --> 01:02:56,084
You know there's a back seat.

1379
01:02:56,084 --> 01:02:58,668
There's nothing back there.
This is where the action is.

1380
01:03:00,584 --> 01:03:01,876
[crowd clamoring]

1381
01:03:01,876 --> 01:03:03,668
Hey, what's going on over there?

1382
01:03:04,626 --> 01:03:05,959
- Pull over.
- Oh, oh, oh.

1383
01:03:07,626 --> 01:03:08,834
[song ends]

1384
01:03:10,834 --> 01:03:13,918
[JFK on TV] <i>A Russian
military ship has been intercepted</i>

1385
01:03:13,918 --> 01:03:16,084
<i>off the coast of the United States.</i>

1386
01:03:16,084 --> 01:03:20,459
<i>We believe it's illegal Cuban sugar
meant to destabilize a balanced breakfast.</i>

1387
01:03:20,459 --> 01:03:22,584
- I tell you, the wife's a knockout.
- Yeah.

1388
01:03:22,584 --> 01:03:24,793
I got the boys working
on the Jackie O thing.

1389
01:03:24,793 --> 01:03:26,876
Her last name's Kennedy. What's that mean?

1390
01:03:26,876 --> 01:03:29,084
No, the shape of the cereal is an O.

1391
01:03:29,084 --> 01:03:30,834
Cheerios, Oreos, Jackie O's.

1392
01:03:30,834 --> 01:03:31,834
[shushing]

1393
01:03:31,834 --> 01:03:34,168
He's talking about nuclear war,
you idiots.

1394
01:03:34,834 --> 01:03:38,376
[JFK] <i>These spy photos clearly show
some giant nuclear missiles.</i>

1395
01:03:38,376 --> 01:03:39,918
<i>We're not too worried about that.</i>

1396
01:03:39,918 --> 01:03:42,876
<i>But if these ships
aren't immediately turned back,</i>

1397
01:03:42,876 --> 01:03:44,626
<i>I may go ballistic.</i>

1398
01:03:44,626 --> 01:03:47,376
<i>Not necessarily nuclear missile ballistic.</i>

1399
01:03:47,376 --> 01:03:51,543
<i>It's more about how upset I am.
There's two kinds of ballistic.</i>

1400
01:03:51,543 --> 01:03:53,543
<i>There's emotional ballistic,</i>

1401
01:03:53,543 --> 01:03:56,293
<i>and then there's
"everyone dies" ballistic.</i>

1402
01:03:56,293 --> 01:03:57,459
[crowd gasps]

1403
01:03:57,459 --> 01:03:59,918
- All right. That's it.
- Where you going?

1404
01:04:00,709 --> 01:04:02,334
This ends now.

1405
01:04:02,334 --> 01:04:04,168
[JFK] <i>I know my way around a boat.</i>

1406
01:04:04,168 --> 01:04:07,501
<i>I was sickly as a child,
so they got me a dinghy.</i>

1407
01:04:07,501 --> 01:04:09,751
[smooth jazz music playing]

1408
01:04:18,251 --> 01:04:19,834
How did it get this far?

1409
01:04:19,834 --> 01:04:21,918
It's breakfast. Things happen.

1410
01:04:23,501 --> 01:04:26,626
- You know, we built that city right there.
- Inherited.

1411
01:04:27,293 --> 01:04:28,334
Inherited.

1412
01:04:28,334 --> 01:04:30,876
And our bickering threatens to destroy it.

1413
01:04:32,334 --> 01:04:34,418
I've decided to release your sugar.

1414
01:04:36,209 --> 01:04:38,418
I'll tell Khrushchev
not to blow up America.

1415
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:40,418
Will he listen to you?

1416
01:04:40,918 --> 01:04:44,084
Maybe, if I offer him
something valuable in return.

1417
01:04:44,709 --> 01:04:46,959
Would William Howard Taft's
candy suit work?

1418
01:04:46,959 --> 01:04:49,376
I don't know what that is,
but I'll give it a whirl.

1419
01:04:50,293 --> 01:04:51,376
Give this a whirl.

1420
01:04:51,376 --> 01:04:54,209
["Let's Twist Again"
by Chubby Checker playing]

1421
01:04:54,209 --> 01:04:55,626
<i>♪ Come on, everybody ♪</i>

1422
01:04:55,626 --> 01:04:57,043
What do you think?

1423
01:04:57,043 --> 01:04:58,918
<i>♪ Ah, you're looking good... ♪</i>

1424
01:04:59,459 --> 01:05:00,376
It's feral.

1425
01:05:01,459 --> 01:05:02,709
It's vulgar.

1426
01:05:02,709 --> 01:05:04,376
<i>♪ We're gonna do the twist... ♪</i>

1427
01:05:04,376 --> 01:05:05,293
I like it.

1428
01:05:06,084 --> 01:05:08,043
<i>♪ Come on, let's twist again... ♪</i>

1429
01:05:08,043 --> 01:05:11,376
- Maybe we built these cereal companies...
- Inherited.

1430
01:05:11,376 --> 01:05:14,543
...inherited these two
giant cereal companies

1431
01:05:14,543 --> 01:05:16,334
to get each other's attention.

1432
01:05:16,334 --> 01:05:17,584
Maybe we did.

1433
01:05:17,584 --> 01:05:19,209
<i>♪ Do you remember when things... ♪</i>

1434
01:05:19,209 --> 01:05:20,668
What are you afraid of?

1435
01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:22,043
I'm not afraid.

1436
01:05:22,043 --> 01:05:23,876
- [screams] What is that?
- [gasps] What?

1437
01:05:23,876 --> 01:05:25,126
- [chittering]
- [Edsel] Oh!

1438
01:05:25,126 --> 01:05:29,376
That's just some new form of life we made
by accident that we're trying to catch

1439
01:05:29,376 --> 01:05:30,709
so it doesn't reproduce.

1440
01:05:30,709 --> 01:05:32,751
- You made that? Where did it go?
- Eh--

1441
01:05:32,751 --> 01:05:34,418
Anyway, where were we?

1442
01:05:34,418 --> 01:05:35,543
Um...

1443
01:05:36,834 --> 01:05:38,501
Kind of in a weird mood now.

1444
01:05:39,001 --> 01:05:39,876
Wh--

1445
01:05:40,376 --> 01:05:41,418
- [sighs]
- [door closes]

1446
01:05:41,418 --> 01:05:42,959
[whimpers in disappointment]

1447
01:05:43,626 --> 01:05:47,418
[mascots chanting] Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
Edsel K has got to pay!

1448
01:05:47,418 --> 01:05:49,418
- What do we want?
- [crowd] Dignity!

1449
01:05:49,418 --> 01:05:51,459
- When do we want it?
- [crowd] Soon!

1450
01:05:51,459 --> 01:05:52,501
[Thurl] What do we want?

1451
01:05:52,501 --> 01:05:55,251
Time to give those
trench-footed fur balls a poodle cut.

1452
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:57,751
[mascots] There is no lab,
there was no lab!

1453
01:05:57,751 --> 01:05:59,376
Now we know, and that is bad!

1454
01:05:59,376 --> 01:06:02,834
Never mind that. Whoever gets to
the shelves first is gonna win this thing.

1455
01:06:02,834 --> 01:06:04,543
All we need is a name.

1456
01:06:04,543 --> 01:06:08,376
Don't worry. I got a couple of
can't-miss Madison Avenue ad men coming.

1457
01:06:09,084 --> 01:06:10,209
[Thurl] What do we want?

1458
01:06:10,209 --> 01:06:11,293
[music fades]

1459
01:06:11,834 --> 01:06:12,793
[ad man] Kellogg's.

1460
01:06:14,043 --> 01:06:16,251
{\an8}When you hear it, it's more than a name.

1461
01:06:16,251 --> 01:06:19,334
It's the warm embrace of home, of family.

1462
01:06:19,918 --> 01:06:23,293
And where does that family begin?
It begins with two beating hearts.

1463
01:06:23,293 --> 01:06:25,334
- [Edsel] Mmm.
- Like two pastries,

1464
01:06:25,334 --> 01:06:29,459
alone in the dark,
sharing a single foil wrapper.

1465
01:06:31,168 --> 01:06:32,668
Imagine a husband home from work.

1466
01:06:32,668 --> 01:06:35,501
His wife greets him at the door
wearing a satin négligée,

1467
01:06:35,501 --> 01:06:37,168
leads him to the bedroom

1468
01:06:37,168 --> 01:06:39,709
with one flick of a red polished nail...

1469
01:06:41,459 --> 01:06:44,043
she ignites the coiled heat
from a nearby toaster,

1470
01:06:44,043 --> 01:06:48,209
which is also eager
to receive his now warm pastries.

1471
01:06:48,209 --> 01:06:49,459
[clears throat]

1472
01:06:49,459 --> 01:06:51,459
[ad man] Gentlemen, I give you

1473
01:06:51,959 --> 01:06:54,793
- the Jelle Jolie by Martine Margeaux.
- [sensual music plays]

1474
01:06:54,793 --> 01:06:58,584
Uh, you know
we're a kids' cereal company, right?

1475
01:06:58,584 --> 01:07:00,001
If that's all you wanna be.

1476
01:07:00,001 --> 01:07:02,459
I've been in your town for six hours.
You know what I see?

1477
01:07:02,459 --> 01:07:04,793
Dead trees and sad, lonely women.

1478
01:07:04,793 --> 01:07:06,668
I mean, the choice is yours.

1479
01:07:06,668 --> 01:07:08,293
Raisin Bran and irrelevant

1480
01:07:08,918 --> 01:07:11,043
or provocative and revolutionary.

1481
01:07:11,043 --> 01:07:12,834
Who notices dead trees?

1482
01:07:12,834 --> 01:07:14,334
Shut up, Herman.

1483
01:07:14,334 --> 01:07:15,584
Genius at work.

1484
01:07:15,584 --> 01:07:20,584
Also available with a naughty hint
of <i>chocolat,</i> Jelle Jolie Noir.

1485
01:07:20,584 --> 01:07:24,626
And, coming soon, Jelle Jolie Sensual.

1486
01:07:24,626 --> 01:07:27,209
With no packet at all, for those who dare.

1487
01:07:28,001 --> 01:07:29,918
Because his pleasure is also hers.

1488
01:07:29,918 --> 01:07:32,126
- That's not actually true.
- Why not?

1489
01:07:33,709 --> 01:07:38,043
So are we celebrating? Carve up some of
that Midwestern beef you're so famous for?

1490
01:07:38,043 --> 01:07:40,543
Maybe lasso ourselves
some thick-ankled Jelle Jolie

1491
01:07:40,543 --> 01:07:42,751
of our own in this dust bucket of a town?

1492
01:07:42,751 --> 01:07:44,168
Can-- Can we think about it?

1493
01:07:44,168 --> 01:07:47,209
I'd say yes, but I don't think
thinking is your strong suit.

1494
01:07:47,209 --> 01:07:51,626
Tell you what, I'll be retired on a bluff
overlooking Stinson Beach

1495
01:07:51,626 --> 01:07:54,751
while you're still genuflecting
before the god of mediocrity.

1496
01:07:54,751 --> 01:07:57,084
- Roger.
- Glad I left the car running.

1497
01:07:58,418 --> 01:08:00,834
Why are they so mean?
It's just advertising.

1498
01:08:00,834 --> 01:08:02,959
- [Edsel] I don't know.
- [Bob] I don't get it.

1499
01:08:03,668 --> 01:08:04,584
What'd you just say?

1500
01:08:04,584 --> 01:08:06,334
- [tense music playing]
- Uh--

1501
01:08:06,334 --> 01:08:10,501
You will never swim the English Channel
and then drown in champagne.

1502
01:08:10,501 --> 01:08:12,459
No, I wo-- I won't.

1503
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:14,168
[music intensifies, ends]

1504
01:08:14,168 --> 01:08:16,626
So, where the hell is this Swinson Lake?

1505
01:08:16,626 --> 01:08:18,668
[seductive music playing]

1506
01:08:18,668 --> 01:08:19,959
What'd you just say?

1507
01:08:20,543 --> 01:08:21,793
I think you heard me.

1508
01:08:22,543 --> 01:08:25,084
- Why don't you come work for me?
- Forget it, Florsheim.

1509
01:08:25,084 --> 01:08:26,751
I don't come when I'm called.

1510
01:08:26,751 --> 01:08:27,834
Oh.

1511
01:08:28,376 --> 01:08:29,584
I'll be calling you.

1512
01:08:30,084 --> 01:08:31,043
[gasps]

1513
01:08:31,668 --> 01:08:34,418
- From a pay phone.
- I'll lend you the dime.

1514
01:08:35,834 --> 01:08:37,168
- [ad man] Hmm.
- [Stan] Hmm.

1515
01:08:39,709 --> 01:08:40,668
[inhales deeply]

1516
01:08:40,668 --> 01:08:41,584
Good meeting.

1517
01:08:41,584 --> 01:08:44,501
Now who are we gonna get
to help us sell this thing?

1518
01:08:44,501 --> 01:08:46,334
I might know a couple guys.

1519
01:08:46,334 --> 01:08:47,626
And they're local.

1520
01:08:47,626 --> 01:08:50,376
[Stan] First I think we just wanna
thank you for your time today.

1521
01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:53,001
You're the experts.
But, uh, well, let's get started.

1522
01:08:53,001 --> 01:08:54,793
"Fruit-Magoos." What?

1523
01:08:54,793 --> 01:08:55,834
No.

1524
01:08:55,834 --> 01:08:57,918
-"Heat 'Em Up and Eat 'Em Ups."
- No sale.

1525
01:08:57,918 --> 01:09:00,584
-"Oblong Nibblers." Mmm.
- Tough room.

1526
01:09:00,584 --> 01:09:04,043
- Look, the name is the game, people.
- If we like the name, we'll eat it.

1527
01:09:04,043 --> 01:09:06,168
Do you know if Post has a name for theirs?

1528
01:09:06,168 --> 01:09:09,168
I believe they were going
back and forth between Fresh Flatties

1529
01:09:09,168 --> 01:09:10,501
and Dextrose Dillies.

1530
01:09:10,501 --> 01:09:12,334
- Oh man.
- Mmm, those are both strong.

1531
01:09:12,334 --> 01:09:13,501
[Stan] Give me a minute.

1532
01:09:13,501 --> 01:09:14,959
Hi there. How you doing?

1533
01:09:15,834 --> 01:09:18,751
How about you tell us
what those tasted like?

1534
01:09:18,751 --> 01:09:20,793
The jelly, was it firm?

1535
01:09:20,793 --> 01:09:21,709
Was it oozy?

1536
01:09:22,251 --> 01:09:24,751
Did it coagulate?
[snapping fingers] Come on.

1537
01:09:25,334 --> 01:09:26,376
I'm keeping this.

1538
01:09:27,418 --> 01:09:29,043
I know how to talk to kids.

1539
01:09:29,043 --> 01:09:31,001
[dramatic music playing]

1540
01:09:31,001 --> 01:09:34,793
We need to know the damn pectin content,
or I'll murder your family, your friends!

1541
01:09:34,793 --> 01:09:37,001
- Take it easy.
- I'll drown your grandmother!

1542
01:09:37,001 --> 01:09:39,084
Why are you yelling like my dad?

1543
01:09:39,918 --> 01:09:41,126
[Edsel] I wasn't yelling.

1544
01:09:41,668 --> 01:09:42,709
You're right. I was.

1545
01:09:42,709 --> 01:09:44,209
- It was him.
- [Stan] My God!

1546
01:09:44,209 --> 01:09:45,876
[Cathy] You wanna know the truth?

1547
01:09:45,876 --> 01:09:47,918
I took one bite,

1548
01:09:47,918 --> 01:09:51,084
and it blew the back of my head right off.

1549
01:09:51,084 --> 01:09:55,001
It was the most delicious piece of pastry
I've ever had, and I've had them all.

1550
01:09:55,001 --> 01:09:57,168
Well, you never had ours.

1551
01:09:57,668 --> 01:09:58,668
Give it to her.

1552
01:09:58,668 --> 01:10:00,751
[intriguing music playing]

1553
01:10:04,876 --> 01:10:05,709
Try that.

1554
01:10:06,293 --> 01:10:08,293
[music continues]

1555
01:10:16,834 --> 01:10:17,918
Is this a joke?

1556
01:10:17,918 --> 01:10:19,001
What?

1557
01:10:19,001 --> 01:10:21,626
This tastes like their thing.
You guys made the same thing.

1558
01:10:21,626 --> 01:10:24,584
Everybody makes the same thing.
Coke and Pepsi. Ford and Chevy.

1559
01:10:25,168 --> 01:10:27,376
- The important thing is the name.
- The name.

1560
01:10:27,376 --> 01:10:29,459
- [Butchie screaming]
- The butt machine got Butchie!

1561
01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:30,376
Ah!

1562
01:10:30,376 --> 01:10:31,709
[screaming]

1563
01:10:31,709 --> 01:10:33,043
My Rump Master!

1564
01:10:33,668 --> 01:10:35,293
[dramatic music playing]

1565
01:10:35,293 --> 01:10:36,626
- [beads clattering]
- [body thuds]

1566
01:10:38,543 --> 01:10:41,543
How many, Mr. Cabana?
How many more have to die?

1567
01:10:42,209 --> 01:10:44,918
- Get your hands off me.
- Butchie, are you okay?

1568
01:10:44,918 --> 01:10:47,501
He's fine.
Now, what are we gonna call this thing?

1569
01:10:47,501 --> 01:10:51,584
[magical music playing]

1570
01:10:51,584 --> 01:10:53,918
You've got your name right there.

1571
01:10:53,918 --> 01:10:56,668
The first letter of each word.

1572
01:10:56,668 --> 01:10:58,959
"Toaster Ready Anytime Treat."

1573
01:10:58,959 --> 01:11:00,001
"Put On Plate."

1574
01:11:00,709 --> 01:11:02,126
"Trat Pop."

1575
01:11:02,126 --> 01:11:04,418
Trat Pop. I... I kinda like it.

1576
01:11:04,418 --> 01:11:06,001
Now, <i>that's</i> cool.

1577
01:11:06,001 --> 01:11:08,584
It's a secret code name, like UFO or NASA.

1578
01:11:08,584 --> 01:11:10,793
Or bra, booby restraining apparatus.

1579
01:11:10,793 --> 01:11:14,418
- That is not what it means.
- I have reason to believe otherwise.

1580
01:11:14,418 --> 01:11:15,459
So do I.

1581
01:11:16,293 --> 01:11:17,126
What?

1582
01:11:18,543 --> 01:11:19,626
Trat Pop.

1583
01:11:20,543 --> 01:11:21,959
Let's see how it plays.

1584
01:11:22,543 --> 01:11:24,168
<i>♪ Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1585
01:11:24,751 --> 01:11:27,126
<i>♪ Yummy in the morning
Yummy at noon ♪</i>

1586
01:11:27,126 --> 01:11:29,168
<i>♪ Yummy in the evening
And under the moon ♪</i>

1587
01:11:29,168 --> 01:11:31,459
<i>♪ Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1588
01:11:31,459 --> 01:11:34,876
<i>♪ Toaster treat
Ready anytime you like to eat ♪</i>

1589
01:11:34,876 --> 01:11:38,168
<i>♪ Put on plate
Your tummy's gonna celebrate ♪</i>

1590
01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:41,459
<i>♪ Yummy, yummy, Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1591
01:11:41,459 --> 01:11:42,501
[whirring]

1592
01:11:44,168 --> 01:11:45,001
[Stan] So?

1593
01:11:45,584 --> 01:11:47,126
[Bob] What do you think, EK?

1594
01:11:51,043 --> 01:11:52,418
It's gold.

1595
01:11:52,418 --> 01:11:53,418
[laughing]

1596
01:11:53,418 --> 01:11:56,459
All that's left
is the routine certification

1597
01:11:56,459 --> 01:11:58,959
by FDA rep Mr. Mike Puntz.

1598
01:12:00,459 --> 01:12:02,334
Well, that's the easy part.

1599
01:12:02,334 --> 01:12:03,668
[all laughing]

1600
01:12:03,668 --> 01:12:05,043
[Stan coughing]

1601
01:12:09,293 --> 01:12:10,209
That's nice.

1602
01:12:11,501 --> 01:12:13,376
[Bob] But what about those mascots?

1603
01:12:13,376 --> 01:12:14,834
[Edsel] <i>Already dealt with.</i>

1604
01:12:14,834 --> 01:12:17,084
[vehicles honking]

1605
01:12:17,084 --> 01:12:18,334
Well, Mr. Kellogg,

1606
01:12:18,834 --> 01:12:21,001
I think you'll find this tiger

1607
01:12:21,876 --> 01:12:23,168
has claws.

1608
01:12:27,084 --> 01:12:30,251
[menacing music playing]

1609
01:12:30,251 --> 01:12:32,334
[mascots clamoring]

1610
01:12:33,959 --> 01:12:36,126
- [woman] Let me out!
- [man screaming]

1611
01:12:36,126 --> 01:12:38,209
Give us more, Kellogg!

1612
01:12:39,376 --> 01:12:40,418
[screaming]

1613
01:12:40,418 --> 01:12:44,084
[mascots chanting] Give us more pay!
Give us more pay!

1614
01:12:44,084 --> 01:12:45,626
Cereal mascots,

1615
01:12:45,626 --> 01:12:48,501
and mascot patriots from across the land...

1616
01:12:48,501 --> 01:12:50,209
[mascots cheering]

1617
01:12:50,209 --> 01:12:53,334
...gather ye, gather ye, one and all.

1618
01:12:53,334 --> 01:12:54,793
[all yelling]

1619
01:12:56,001 --> 01:12:59,001
Fortify the perimeter.
I want maximum resistance.

1620
01:12:59,001 --> 01:13:01,001
Send both security guards.

1621
01:13:01,001 --> 01:13:01,959
[receiver clatters]

1622
01:13:01,959 --> 01:13:03,918
- Where the hell is Puntz?
- I don't know.

1623
01:13:03,918 --> 01:13:06,001
- Oh, here we go.
- Good morning, everyone.

1624
01:13:06,001 --> 01:13:07,293
- Morning, Mike.
- Good morning.

1625
01:13:07,293 --> 01:13:09,876
Sorry I'm late. They had me come
through the back like a plumber.

1626
01:13:09,876 --> 01:13:10,959
Let's go.

1627
01:13:10,959 --> 01:13:14,126
- And I am... here?
- Here.

1628
01:13:14,126 --> 01:13:15,876
- Right here.
- Right here. Yeah.

1629
01:13:16,376 --> 01:13:18,251
There you go.
Let me just get you in there.

1630
01:13:18,834 --> 01:13:19,834
[grunts] There we go.

1631
01:13:19,834 --> 01:13:21,043
[all clamoring]

1632
01:13:21,043 --> 01:13:22,251
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1633
01:13:22,251 --> 01:13:25,334
I have seen angry mobs
gather like this before.

1634
01:13:26,709 --> 01:13:27,709
Where was I?

1635
01:13:28,709 --> 01:13:31,918
Do you know
what they call us from up there?

1636
01:13:31,918 --> 01:13:33,084
[mascot] No, what?

1637
01:13:34,126 --> 01:13:35,126
Felt hobos.

1638
01:13:35,126 --> 01:13:37,043
[mascots jeering]

1639
01:13:37,043 --> 01:13:39,126
And carpet critters.

1640
01:13:39,126 --> 01:13:40,876
[mascots yelling]

1641
01:13:40,876 --> 01:13:43,418
This pen was a gift from a colleague,

1642
01:13:43,418 --> 01:13:45,584
and it was, uh, an accidental gift.

1643
01:13:45,584 --> 01:13:46,918
- [Bob] We don't care.
- So--

1644
01:13:46,918 --> 01:13:50,709
Little Debbie here has treats
and Desenex for any costume rash.

1645
01:13:51,209 --> 01:13:53,709
For it is time to fight.

1646
01:13:53,709 --> 01:13:54,668
[mascots] Yeah!

1647
01:13:54,668 --> 01:13:59,501
Let us show them what happens
when cooler heads do not prevail.

1648
01:13:59,501 --> 01:14:00,459
[mascots cheering]

1649
01:14:00,459 --> 01:14:03,334
- Yeah!
- [yelling]

1650
01:14:03,334 --> 01:14:05,084
Mr. Kellogg, you should see this.

1651
01:14:05,084 --> 01:14:07,959
{\an8}<i>I was told by a prominent
Kellogg's executive</i>

1652
01:14:07,959 --> 01:14:11,501
{\an8}<i>that they had created
a mutant pasta creature by accident.</i>

1653
01:14:11,501 --> 01:14:13,918
{\an8}<i>I wouldn't eat anything
that company makes.</i>

1654
01:14:13,918 --> 01:14:16,584
{\an8}<i>And you're the chairman of Post,
their main competitor?</i>

1655
01:14:16,584 --> 01:14:19,334
[Marjorie] <i>Well, we used to be.
But now that our new product,</i>

1656
01:14:19,334 --> 01:14:22,084
<i>the Post Country Square,
has been certified,</i>

1657
01:14:22,084 --> 01:14:23,418
<i>we'll be number one.</i>

1658
01:14:23,418 --> 01:14:24,918
[dramatic sting]

1659
01:14:24,918 --> 01:14:28,251
They are about to certify
a product that will replace you.

1660
01:14:28,251 --> 01:14:29,459
[mascots] Boo!

1661
01:14:29,459 --> 01:14:30,751
No! No!

1662
01:14:30,751 --> 01:14:33,001
So you had better fight like hell,

1663
01:14:33,668 --> 01:14:37,251
or you're not gonna
have a breakfast anymore!

1664
01:14:37,251 --> 01:14:38,501
[mascots yelling]

1665
01:14:38,501 --> 01:14:40,626
Let the fur fly!

1666
01:14:40,626 --> 01:14:42,043
[mascots] Yeah!

1667
01:14:42,043 --> 01:14:43,251
[all clamoring]

1668
01:14:43,876 --> 01:14:45,501
[horn blowing]

1669
01:14:45,501 --> 01:14:47,918
[yelling, grunting]

1670
01:14:50,001 --> 01:14:51,709
- Get back!
- [mascot grunting]

1671
01:14:56,001 --> 01:14:57,626
[mascot] Go! Go, little elf! Go!

1672
01:14:57,626 --> 01:15:00,168
<i>♪ In the beauty of the lilies ♪</i>

1673
01:15:00,668 --> 01:15:02,793
<i>♪ He was born across the sea ♪</i>

1674
01:15:02,793 --> 01:15:04,334
- [mascot grunts]
- [groans]

1675
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:07,126
[yelling]

1676
01:15:07,126 --> 01:15:08,168
- [grunts]
- [groans]

1677
01:15:08,168 --> 01:15:10,251
[suspenseful music playing]

1678
01:15:14,918 --> 01:15:15,751
Strawberry.

1679
01:15:15,751 --> 01:15:16,709
[Bob gasps]

1680
01:15:18,168 --> 01:15:20,209
- Ooh, blueberry.
- It's all one flavor, Mike.

1681
01:15:20,209 --> 01:15:23,584
- We just changed the colors.
- They've broken through the perimeter.

1682
01:15:23,584 --> 01:15:24,793
The tiger is pooping.

1683
01:15:24,793 --> 01:15:26,334
[dramatic music playing]

1684
01:15:26,334 --> 01:15:27,834
[mascots clamoring]

1685
01:15:30,876 --> 01:15:33,293
- [mascot 1] Don't let me go!
- [mascot 2] I'll never let you go!

1686
01:15:33,876 --> 01:15:35,126
[mascot 1] We belong together!

1687
01:15:35,126 --> 01:15:36,168
[screaming]

1688
01:15:36,168 --> 01:15:38,001
- [body thuds on ground]
- [mascot 2] No!

1689
01:15:38,001 --> 01:15:39,834
[all yelling]

1690
01:15:45,501 --> 01:15:46,959
Remember this day, boys.

1691
01:15:47,584 --> 01:15:49,626
For this is our company now.

1692
01:15:50,751 --> 01:15:55,459
Snap, Crackle, and Pop, our mission here
is to stop the certification. Hunt Puntz.

1693
01:15:55,459 --> 01:15:57,668
[mascots chanting] Hunt Puntz! Hunt Puntz!

1694
01:15:57,668 --> 01:16:00,126
[Thurl] I love you all.
You're all very special.

1695
01:16:00,126 --> 01:16:01,668
- [mascot grunts]
- [horn toots]

1696
01:16:02,209 --> 01:16:03,584
When can you eat these?

1697
01:16:03,584 --> 01:16:05,084
Is this a meal?

1698
01:16:05,084 --> 01:16:06,293
Is this a snack?

1699
01:16:06,293 --> 01:16:09,293
It's not anything if you don't certify it.
Give me that stamper.

1700
01:16:09,293 --> 01:16:10,876
Oh. [grunting]

1701
01:16:11,668 --> 01:16:13,834
- Don't do it, Bob.
- You don't have the training.

1702
01:16:13,834 --> 01:16:15,626
To do what? This?

1703
01:16:15,626 --> 01:16:16,793
Too late.

1704
01:16:16,793 --> 01:16:18,626
- [Edsel laughing]
- Ha!

1705
01:16:19,209 --> 01:16:21,918
I guess there really
isn't that much to it.

1706
01:16:21,918 --> 01:16:23,501
We are undone, boys.

1707
01:16:23,501 --> 01:16:24,418
[sighs]

1708
01:16:24,418 --> 01:16:26,751
Undone by cruel fate.

1709
01:16:26,751 --> 01:16:27,876
It wasn't fate.

1710
01:16:27,876 --> 01:16:32,126
You had to stop at Woolworth's
for a tooth necklace and Viking horns.

1711
01:16:32,126 --> 01:16:33,834
Be very careful, Crackle,

1712
01:16:33,834 --> 01:16:36,626
or I will take a horn
and joust you in the eye.

1713
01:16:37,418 --> 01:16:38,584
Dignified retreat.

1714
01:16:41,626 --> 01:16:42,876
Open or closed?

1715
01:16:42,876 --> 01:16:43,834
Closed.

1716
01:16:43,834 --> 01:16:45,751
["Cool Jerk" by The Capitols playing]

1717
01:16:45,751 --> 01:16:46,668
Wait up.

1718
01:16:47,251 --> 01:16:50,668
You know,
this really is a terrific product.

1719
01:16:50,668 --> 01:16:51,668
Thank you.

1720
01:16:51,668 --> 01:16:53,043
<i>♪ Cool Jerk... ♪</i>

1721
01:16:55,334 --> 01:16:58,251
"Don't you think you've had
enough to drink tonight, Walter?"

1722
01:16:58,251 --> 01:16:59,501
Not if you keep talking.

1723
01:16:59,501 --> 01:17:04,001
They really outdid themselves with
this one, Corky. It's called Silly Putty.

1724
01:17:04,001 --> 01:17:08,043
It stretches, bounces, and by
some mechanism not yet fully understood,

1725
01:17:08,043 --> 01:17:11,209
captures images of a printed page
when you smoosh it.

1726
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,209
Just getting this now,
a riot at Kellogg's.

1727
01:17:13,209 --> 01:17:14,293
Ooh, let me see that.

1728
01:17:14,293 --> 01:17:16,834
When the ink is fresh,
it works really good.

1729
01:17:17,376 --> 01:17:19,376
[banging]

1730
01:17:20,793 --> 01:17:22,834
I pay the goddamn bills.

1731
01:17:22,834 --> 01:17:26,834
I'll drink as much
as I goddamn want to drink.

1732
01:17:27,918 --> 01:17:30,709
[Walter Cronkite]
<i>Breaking news out of Battle Creek tonight.</i>

1733
01:17:30,709 --> 01:17:33,459
<i>A violent mob of beloved cereal mascots</i>

1734
01:17:33,459 --> 01:17:36,293
<i>attacking their own company
over a new product.</i>

1735
01:17:36,293 --> 01:17:37,543
<i>A product called...</i>

1736
01:17:38,459 --> 01:17:39,626
[paper rustling]

1737
01:17:39,626 --> 01:17:41,543
<i>Having trouble finding my notes here.</i>

1738
01:17:42,501 --> 01:17:44,793
<i>We're all a little rattled by this story.</i>

1739
01:17:44,793 --> 01:17:47,084
<i>Oh well. I guess I could just</i>

1740
01:17:47,084 --> 01:17:48,959
read it off my Silly Putty.

1741
01:17:49,834 --> 01:17:51,293
A product called

1742
01:17:52,043 --> 01:17:53,709
<i>the Pop-Tart.</i>

1743
01:17:55,584 --> 01:17:57,251
- Wha--
- Wh-- What did he just say?

1744
01:17:57,251 --> 01:17:59,959
- He called it a Pop-Tart.
- [Bob] He read it backwards.

1745
01:17:59,959 --> 01:18:01,543
Pop-Tart? It's Trat Pop.

1746
01:18:01,543 --> 01:18:04,751
Not anymore.
Forty million people just heard Pop-Tart.

1747
01:18:04,751 --> 01:18:07,251
That wizard-faced news monkey
screwed it up.

1748
01:18:07,251 --> 01:18:10,293
Isn't Pop-Tart a little too close
to Andy Warhol's pop art?

1749
01:18:10,293 --> 01:18:12,793
- Nobody will make that connection.
- I just did.

1750
01:18:14,001 --> 01:18:15,834
Pop-Tart.

1751
01:18:16,459 --> 01:18:18,043
- I kinda like it.
- Yeah?

1752
01:18:18,043 --> 01:18:19,376
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1753
01:18:19,376 --> 01:18:20,376
No.

1754
01:18:20,376 --> 01:18:21,293
Yeah.

1755
01:18:21,293 --> 01:18:23,668
- Yeah.
- What the hell's the difference?

1756
01:18:23,668 --> 01:18:25,876
Change the boxes
and get 'em on the trucks.

1757
01:18:25,876 --> 01:18:26,876
[Roger] Pop-Tart.

1758
01:18:27,543 --> 01:18:28,626
That's gonna sell.

1759
01:18:28,626 --> 01:18:30,959
["Spirit In The Sky"
by Norman Greenbaum playing]

1760
01:18:30,959 --> 01:18:34,043
<i>♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪</i>

1761
01:18:34,043 --> 01:18:37,876
<i>♪ Gonna go to the place that's the best ♪</i>

1762
01:18:38,584 --> 01:18:41,293
<i>♪ When I lay me down to die ♪</i>

1763
01:18:41,293 --> 01:18:45,209
<i>♪ Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪</i>

1764
01:18:46,126 --> 01:18:49,793
<i>- ♪ Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪
- ♪ Spirit in the sky ♪</i>

1765
01:18:49,793 --> 01:18:53,626
<i>- ♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪
- ♪ When I die ♪</i>

1766
01:18:53,626 --> 01:18:56,293
<i>♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪</i>

1767
01:18:56,293 --> 01:19:00,751
<i>♪ I'm gonna go to the place
That's the best ♪</i>

1768
01:19:04,043 --> 01:19:05,959
[engines revving]

1769
01:19:20,209 --> 01:19:21,376
[song ends]

1770
01:19:21,376 --> 01:19:22,584
[snoring]

1771
01:19:31,376 --> 01:19:32,918
- [phone ringing]
- [gasps]

1772
01:19:33,751 --> 01:19:34,751
[ringing continues]

1773
01:19:37,376 --> 01:19:38,209
Talk to me.

1774
01:19:38,209 --> 01:19:39,876
[breathing heavily]

1775
01:19:39,876 --> 01:19:42,209
What do you mean
you don't have any sales numbers?

1776
01:19:42,918 --> 01:19:44,418
Call me the second you do.

1777
01:19:45,376 --> 01:19:47,918
- What'd they say?
- Some kind of switchboard breakdown.

1778
01:19:47,918 --> 01:19:50,959
All the lines are flooded.
On the damn day we launch.

1779
01:19:50,959 --> 01:19:54,251
All right, all right, calm down.
It might just be a botulism flare-up.

1780
01:19:54,251 --> 01:19:55,668
Oh, I hope it's botulism.

1781
01:19:55,668 --> 01:19:58,418
I just rolled out
five million dollars' worth of Pop-Tarts.

1782
01:19:58,418 --> 01:19:59,709
[phone ringing]

1783
01:20:00,501 --> 01:20:03,334
You better have some numbers for me.
Spit it out!

1784
01:20:03,334 --> 01:20:05,293
[suspenseful music playing]

1785
01:20:05,293 --> 01:20:06,209
What?

1786
01:20:07,293 --> 01:20:09,751
[kids clamoring]

1787
01:20:10,584 --> 01:20:12,584
[screaming]

1788
01:20:14,126 --> 01:20:15,001
[sputters]

1789
01:20:16,126 --> 01:20:17,334
Really?

1790
01:20:17,334 --> 01:20:19,751
[dramatic music playing]

1791
01:20:22,751 --> 01:20:23,834
Oh my God.

1792
01:20:25,126 --> 01:20:26,168
[receiver clatters]

1793
01:20:26,959 --> 01:20:28,334
- [exhales sharply]
- So?

1794
01:20:28,334 --> 01:20:31,209
Did anybody buy the Pop-Tart?

1795
01:20:31,709 --> 01:20:32,709
[chuckles]

1796
01:20:33,501 --> 01:20:35,584
Every store in
the continental United States

1797
01:20:35,584 --> 01:20:38,043
was cleaned out within 60 seconds.

1798
01:20:39,084 --> 01:20:39,918
What?

1799
01:20:39,918 --> 01:20:41,126
[kids screaming]

1800
01:20:41,126 --> 01:20:43,209
[Edsel] <i>It was like a locust attack.</i>

1801
01:20:43,209 --> 01:20:46,084
<i>Kids are doing anything
to get their hands on these Pop-Tarts.</i>

1802
01:20:46,084 --> 01:20:49,126
Six stock boys were bitten.
It's a feeding frenzy.

1803
01:20:49,793 --> 01:20:52,876
<i>It's the name.
No kid wants to be a square.</i>

1804
01:20:52,876 --> 01:20:55,834
<i>And a square from the country? Forget it.</i>

1805
01:20:57,084 --> 01:20:58,418
We got to the moon.

1806
01:20:58,418 --> 01:20:59,918
The breakfast moon.

1807
01:20:59,918 --> 01:21:04,501
These things are the greatest
two rectangles since the Ten Commandments.

1808
01:21:04,501 --> 01:21:05,668
[chuckles]

1809
01:21:07,876 --> 01:21:09,043
Hmm!

1810
01:21:09,043 --> 01:21:10,501
What if we add frosting?

1811
01:21:10,501 --> 01:21:11,543
Ugh.

1812
01:21:11,543 --> 01:21:12,584
- Bad idea.
- Yeah.

1813
01:21:13,459 --> 01:21:16,543
[Bob] <i>So Kellogg's was once again
the king of Battle Creek.</i>

1814
01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:18,876
<i>- And everyone at the company was happy.</i>
- [gavel banging]

1815
01:21:18,876 --> 01:21:20,668
[Bob] <i>Well, maybe not everyone.</i>

1816
01:21:21,168 --> 01:21:25,126
Mr. Ravenscroft, is it true
you are a role model for children?

1817
01:21:25,126 --> 01:21:28,043
Yes, Your... Majesty.

1818
01:21:28,043 --> 01:21:30,376
Well, what kind of role model defecates

1819
01:21:30,376 --> 01:21:33,918
in the hallway of one of America's most
beloved companies and yells out,

1820
01:21:33,918 --> 01:21:34,918
and I quote,

1821
01:21:36,334 --> 01:21:39,584
-"I've got some Kel-logs for you"?
- [people groaning]

1822
01:21:39,584 --> 01:21:40,626
[Thurl] I regret that.

1823
01:21:40,626 --> 01:21:43,834
I had had a very
large bowl of Bran Flakes.

1824
01:21:43,834 --> 01:21:47,043
[Bob] <i>Harold von Braunhut
and Chef Boyardee raised Eric,</i>

1825
01:21:47,043 --> 01:21:49,293
<i>their pasta creature, as their own,</i>

1826
01:21:49,293 --> 01:21:51,293
<i>eventually finding out
they were ill-suited</i>

1827
01:21:51,293 --> 01:21:53,543
<i>to handle a rebellious teen ravioli.</i>

1828
01:21:53,543 --> 01:21:56,584
Eric! I told you
to put the pool cover back on.

1829
01:21:56,584 --> 01:21:58,334
- [Eric] Go to hell.
- [gasps]

1830
01:21:58,334 --> 01:22:02,334
- You hear the way your son talks to me?
- Oh, when he talks back, he's my son?

1831
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:03,334
[yells]

1832
01:22:03,334 --> 01:22:05,918
Oh, you want to have
this fight again, huh?

1833
01:22:05,918 --> 01:22:09,584
[Bob] <i>Tom Carvel and Jack LaLanne realized
they were both part of the same hypocrisy,</i>

1834
01:22:09,584 --> 01:22:11,876
<i>so they opened stores side by side.</i>

1835
01:22:11,876 --> 01:22:13,959
- I thin 'em out.
- And I pack it back on.

1836
01:22:13,959 --> 01:22:15,376
[both laughing]

1837
01:22:15,376 --> 01:22:17,834
[Bob] <i>UNIVAC was drafted
and shipped to Vietnam,</i>

1838
01:22:17,834 --> 01:22:20,334
<i>where, according to those
who served under him,</i>

1839
01:22:20,334 --> 01:22:22,834
<i>- his ideas became even more unsound.</i>
- [thunder crashing]

1840
01:22:22,834 --> 01:22:24,001
[whirring]

1841
01:22:24,001 --> 01:22:25,418
[UNIVAC] <i>The horror.</i>

1842
01:22:25,418 --> 01:22:28,293
[Bob] <i>After Bobby Kennedy
squeezed the udders on big milk,</i>

1843
01:22:28,293 --> 01:22:31,793
<i>conspiracy theorists pointed
to frame 263 of the Zapruder film,</i>

1844
01:22:31,793 --> 01:22:35,876
<i>which appeared to show someone
delivering milk to a very strange place,</i>

1845
01:22:35,876 --> 01:22:37,376
<i>a grassy knoll.</i>

1846
01:22:37,959 --> 01:22:40,459
<i>Marjorie Post,
one of the first women CEOs,</i>

1847
01:22:40,459 --> 01:22:42,543
<i>became an icon of female empowerment,</i>

1848
01:22:42,543 --> 01:22:45,584
{\an8}<i>ultimately building a lasting monument
to feminism,</i>

1849
01:22:45,584 --> 01:22:47,876
{\an8}<i>which she named Mar-a-Lago.</i>

1850
01:22:47,876 --> 01:22:49,084
{\an8}[bell dings]

1851
01:22:51,251 --> 01:22:53,543
<i>In the end,
Stan vetoed Kellogg's, her career,</i>

1852
01:22:53,543 --> 01:22:55,418
<i>and pretty much the whole culture.</i>

1853
01:22:55,918 --> 01:22:58,001
Stan? You can't park here.

1854
01:22:58,001 --> 01:23:01,626
- You're such a square, man.
- What the hell are you eating?

1855
01:23:01,626 --> 01:23:03,959
Something I invented called granola.

1856
01:23:03,959 --> 01:23:06,501
- And it's gonna bury you!
- [grunts]

1857
01:23:07,626 --> 01:23:08,626
That's not bad.

1858
01:23:09,876 --> 01:23:10,876
Get a job!

1859
01:23:10,876 --> 01:23:14,668
[Bob] <i>Not only was I able to send my kids
to a multi-hundred-dollar college...</i>

1860
01:23:14,668 --> 01:23:18,418
- Nice sod.
- [Bob] <i>...I had enough left over for sod.</i>

1861
01:23:19,209 --> 01:23:23,126
<i>And thanks to the super success
of the Pop-Tart, even I was famous.</i>

1862
01:23:23,126 --> 01:23:25,376
[audience applauding]

1863
01:23:25,376 --> 01:23:28,001
Nice to meet you, Bob.
Looks like you got a winner here.

1864
01:23:28,001 --> 01:23:32,584
Well, we love breakfast at Kellogg's,
and we felt it was time for something new.

1865
01:23:32,584 --> 01:23:34,876
Mmm. Now, why... why the rectangle shape?

1866
01:23:34,876 --> 01:23:37,293
- Well, the pentagram was taken, Johnny.
- [audience laughs]

1867
01:23:37,293 --> 01:23:38,334
By the devil. [laughs]

1868
01:23:38,334 --> 01:23:40,543
[Bob] <i>Like everything else
in the cereal world,</i>

1869
01:23:40,543 --> 01:23:42,543
<i>there was always a surprise inside.</i>

1870
01:23:42,543 --> 01:23:44,334
- [gun fires]
- [audience screams]

1871
01:23:45,001 --> 01:23:47,543
It's Andy Warhol, creator of pop art.

1872
01:23:47,543 --> 01:23:50,668
Your 15 minutes is up, Cabana.

1873
01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:54,001
Only I can be derivative.

1874
01:23:54,001 --> 01:23:55,376
[panicked chatter]

1875
01:23:57,876 --> 01:24:00,543
[Bob] <i>And thanks
to Stan's titanium foil packet,</i>

1876
01:24:00,543 --> 01:24:01,751
I was okay.

1877
01:24:01,751 --> 01:24:05,293
So I'm to believe
the Pop-Tart packet could stop a bullet?

1878
01:24:05,876 --> 01:24:07,293
I'm here, aren't I?

1879
01:24:07,293 --> 01:24:10,376
And that little ravioli creature,
what the hell was that?

1880
01:24:10,376 --> 01:24:12,584
[bell jingling]

1881
01:24:12,584 --> 01:24:17,668
Ah. I was just having some fun with you.
Anyway, I think someone's here to see you.

1882
01:24:17,668 --> 01:24:20,543
- Mom! Dad!
- Come on, George. It's time to go home.

1883
01:24:21,126 --> 01:24:23,793
All right,
we'll get you those X-ray specs.

1884
01:24:23,793 --> 01:24:24,959
- [George] Yay!
- [laughs]

1885
01:24:24,959 --> 01:24:25,876
Thank you.

1886
01:24:27,043 --> 01:24:27,876
Hey.

1887
01:24:28,543 --> 01:24:29,418
[gasps]

1888
01:24:29,418 --> 01:24:31,418
- [squealing]
- [George] Mom, did you see that?

1889
01:24:31,418 --> 01:24:32,459
- [gasps]
- Come on.

1890
01:24:33,043 --> 01:24:34,459
[George] Wait, what was that?

1891
01:24:34,459 --> 01:24:35,959
["Sweet Morning Heat" playing]

1892
01:24:35,959 --> 01:24:37,876
Steve Schwinn, are you there?

1893
01:24:38,376 --> 01:24:40,334
- [gasps] Oh ****!
- Oh!

1894
01:24:40,959 --> 01:24:43,043
{\an8}<i>♪ But somehow it wasn't ever enough... ♪</i>

1895
01:24:43,043 --> 01:24:46,043
{\an8}What works for us is choo-choo trains
and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1896
01:24:46,043 --> 01:24:48,501
{\an8}Yeah, I'll get right to work
on <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1897
01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,376
[Thurl] They're so...

1898
01:24:50,376 --> 01:24:51,876
[bleep]

1899
01:24:53,334 --> 01:24:54,876
{\an8}<i>♪ The moment we connected... ♪</i>

1900
01:24:54,876 --> 01:24:57,668
{\an8}I want <i>Deputy Dawg</i> and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1901
01:24:57,668 --> 01:24:59,501
Oh, come on, Marge--

1902
01:24:59,501 --> 01:25:01,209
[all laughing]

1903
01:25:01,209 --> 01:25:04,501
{\an8}<i>♪ I can’t keep myself together
When the heat is hot... ♪</i>

1904
01:25:04,501 --> 01:25:06,126
{\an8}We literally have one job.

1905
01:25:06,126 --> 01:25:07,334
{\an8}[crew laughing]

1906
01:25:07,334 --> 01:25:08,876
{\an8}<i>♪ ...just the way I like it ♪</i>

1907
01:25:08,876 --> 01:25:10,043
{\an8}<i>♪ Please... ♪</i>

1908
01:25:10,626 --> 01:25:11,543
[tongue whipping]

1909
01:25:11,543 --> 01:25:12,834
[gasps]

1910
01:25:15,001 --> 01:25:16,209
{\an8}You wanna go, Carvel?

1911
01:25:16,793 --> 01:25:18,876
{\an8}- [sputters]
- [laughing]

1912
01:25:18,876 --> 01:25:22,543
{\an8}<i>♪ You've got all the lovin' I need ♪</i>

1913
01:25:22,543 --> 01:25:29,168
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1914
01:25:29,168 --> 01:25:30,168
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1915
01:25:31,251 --> 01:25:32,418
{\an8}<i>♪ Ooh</i>... <i>♪</i>

1916
01:25:32,418 --> 01:25:34,793
{\an8}Karajeana.

1917
01:25:34,793 --> 01:25:35,751
No. Karajeana.

1918
01:25:35,751 --> 01:25:37,709
He had a girl named Karajeana.

1919
01:25:37,709 --> 01:25:38,918
[laughs]

1920
01:25:38,918 --> 01:25:40,584
<i>♪ ...reason, uh-uh ♪</i>

1921
01:25:40,584 --> 01:25:43,584
<i>♪ 'Cause you know they all
Just pretty much taste the same ♪</i>

1922
01:25:43,584 --> 01:25:48,501
<i>♪ And nothing ever had a season, uh-uh ♪</i>

1923
01:25:48,501 --> 01:25:51,084
{\an8}<i>♪ Strawberry, Blueberry, Real plain
Those the names ♪</i>

1924
01:25:51,084 --> 01:25:52,168
{\an8}<i>♪ Those the names ... ♪</i>

1925
01:25:52,168 --> 01:25:56,626
{\an8}Fruit flabby... **** fritters,
whatever the **** they're called.

1926
01:25:56,626 --> 01:25:57,543
[crew laughs]

1927
01:25:57,543 --> 01:26:00,959
This is a comedy. I get it. Sorry.
I thought I was trying to win an award.

1928
01:26:00,959 --> 01:26:04,543
<i>♪ I can’t keep myself together
When the heat is hot, come on ♪</i>

1929
01:26:04,543 --> 01:26:06,376
<i>♪ Sprinkles and icing ♪</i>

1930
01:26:06,376 --> 01:26:08,334
{\an8}<i>♪ Just the way I like it ♪</i>

1931
01:26:08,334 --> 01:26:10,209
{\an8}<i>-♪ Please... ♪
- ♪ Please... ♪</i>

1932
01:26:10,209 --> 01:26:12,043
- Give up the tarts, old man!
- [gasps]

1933
01:26:12,043 --> 01:26:13,668
[screaming]

1934
01:26:13,668 --> 01:26:16,668
<i>♪ Yeah, I want it
Every single day of the week... ♪</i>

1935
01:26:16,668 --> 01:26:19,001
Slow down!

1936
01:26:19,001 --> 01:26:20,334
Mike Diamond.

1937
01:26:20,334 --> 01:26:21,501
Frosty Tips.

1938
01:26:21,501 --> 01:26:24,001
No? Frosty Farms. Friendly Farms.

1939
01:26:24,001 --> 01:26:24,959
[crew laughing]

1940
01:26:24,959 --> 01:26:26,084
"Frosty Tips."

1941
01:26:26,084 --> 01:26:28,001
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1942
01:26:28,001 --> 01:26:29,626
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1943
01:26:29,626 --> 01:26:31,959
{\an8}<i>♪ I need food that’s made
By robots, baby ♪</i>

1944
01:26:31,959 --> 01:26:33,751
{\an8}<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1945
01:26:33,751 --> 01:26:35,751
{\an8}<i>♪ Not some top chef hot shot lady ♪</i>

1946
01:26:35,751 --> 01:26:37,584
{\an8}<i>-♪ Heat ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪</i>

1947
01:26:37,584 --> 01:26:40,584
{\an8}<i>♪ I put a full slice
In my drop top lately, hey ♪</i>

1948
01:26:40,584 --> 01:26:42,626
{\an8}<i>♪ I leave it on my favorite setting ♪</i>

1949
01:26:42,626 --> 01:26:45,501
<i>♪ You know it’s three ♪</i>

1950
01:26:45,501 --> 01:26:48,668
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning heat ♪</i>

1951
01:26:48,668 --> 01:26:53,251
{\an8}<i>♪ I want it every single day of the week ♪</i>

1952
01:26:53,251 --> 01:26:56,793
{\an8}<i>♪ You’ve got all the lovin’ I need ♪</i>

1953
01:26:56,793 --> 01:26:59,251
{\an8}<i>♪ Come on, give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1954
01:26:59,251 --> 01:27:01,376
{\an8}<i>♪ Please ♪</i>

1955
01:27:01,376 --> 01:27:03,834
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning heat ♪</i>

1956
01:27:03,834 --> 01:27:05,251
{\an8}<i>♪ I want that heat ♪</i>

1957
01:27:05,251 --> 01:27:09,126
{\an8}<i>♪ Every single day of the week ♪</i>

1958
01:27:09,126 --> 01:27:12,084
{\an8}<i>♪ You’ve got all the lovin’ I need ♪</i>

1959
01:27:12,084 --> 01:27:15,168
<i>♪ Oh, give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1960
01:27:15,168 --> 01:27:19,543
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1961
01:27:19,543 --> 01:27:20,543
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1962
01:27:20,543 --> 01:27:22,876
[crew cheering and applauding]

1963
01:27:25,126 --> 01:27:27,126
{\an8}[cheerful orchestral music playing]

1964
01:27:38,751 --> 01:27:39,709
[music ends]

1965
01:27:39,709 --> 01:27:41,793
[smooth jazz music playing]

1966
01:28:24,876 --> 01:28:26,543
[music fades]

1967
01:28:26,543 --> 01:28:28,709
[dramatic music playing]

1968
01:32:03,126 --> 01:32:04,043
[music ends]

1969
01:32:04,043 --> 01:32:06,126
[cheerful orchestral music playing]

1970
01:32:48,543 --> 01:32:49,543
[music ends]