Cassidy.
Grandma, is that you?
I-I'm sorry to call you so early, sugarplum.
- It's okay, Grandma. - How are you feeling?
Well, I'm gonna die this weekend.
- Oh. - And I-I need you to teach me.
Uh...
I-I'm not sure how. I have never died.
No, not that.
Teach me the Zoom thing that people use
and gather the family.
In normal times that might be a difficult request,
but during the pandemic the Worth family
found a way to come together while dealing with a crisis.
This is their story.
Cassidy, you wanna join me in the kitchen?
We can Zoom together?
No way, your lighting sucks.
- Guys. - Hey, Chad.
- Hi, Chad. - What's up, man?
There you guys are.
Wish it was different circumstances.
Cassidy, wow, let me see what you got going on there.
That's a lot.
Yeah, she did the makeup and hair herself.
I love that.
Hi, everybody, not all at once, please.
That's your Uncle Bobby, by the way.
Another example of you just dropping out of our lives
and coming back in whenever you feel like it.
Yeah, I just sit here like Buddha.
Oh, hey, Mom.
- Hello, Bobby. - Hello, Di-Di.
Hello, family.
- Hello - Hi.
- Hello. - Yes, Robert.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
What time is it in Russia right now, man?
- Eight hours. - Like, it's always been later...
You guys didn't know what
a single one of those words meant.
Are they still Communists?
Hi. Hi, everybody.
- Hey! - Hi.
- Hi, Judith. - How are you?
Hi.
- Okay, am I the last person? - Am I the last?
- No. - Definitely, no.
Katie is not there yet.
There's nowhere with any reception.
I've been trying to find a place to pull over, but...
- You know, Dorsey... - Oh, wow, Bobby.
You don't look any different.
I know Katie's gonna be last this time.
- Of course Katie's last. - Punctual as always...
Whenever we say last, we mean...
It's Katie...
- Before Katie... - Has anybody...
Hey, guys, nominating that we just one at a time.
Raise your hand and talk. So.
- Okay. - I'm not gonna raise my hand.
George Burns once wrote
that happiness is having a large, loving,
caring, close-knit family in another city.
Well, George Burns didn't know Zoom.
- You know what we're here for? - Like a family does...
Let's think about what we're here for.
- True. - Where-where is Mother?
- Yeah, where is... - Oh, good. You're all here.
Great.
I'm going to set this up so you can see Mabel.
Just a heads up, she is in and out of consciousness,
so do not expect her to respond, but she can hear you.
Studies have shown that she can...
she can hear, so don't be shy,
but also don't be too loud
because you are a big bunch, and we want her passing to be calm.
- You hear that, Bret, right? - That's a lot of instructions.
- Hi, Mom. - Mom, there you are.
- Hello. - There you are.
- Grandma, I'm here. - It's Dorsey. I'm here...
We're actually all here, not just Dorsey.
Katie's not here, but I'm here.
Hi, Grandma.
Right here, Grandma, it's Chad.
Hi y'all.
Good to see you.
Welcome to my death.
We love you so much.
Dorsey, pull it together.
- Oh, my gosh. - Hi, Mom.
You know, you look serene.
Looks like you can take that "coming soon" sign off my grave.
- Mom. - Grandma, don't.
- It's true. - We're all here with you.
- You're in Connecticut. - I mean in our hearts, Mother.
I'm sorry we're not there with you.
Okay, so just remember
that Mabel is doing the work right now.
She's concentrating.
So while encouragement is okay, silence...
is actually perfect.
Okay?
- What is that mean? - What does what mean?
Encouragement to do what?
- To just go. - How do you do this?
Are we supposed to say, like, it's okay?
Like, are we supposed to say, "It's okay, you can die now"?
- No. - Probably, I don't know.
No, we're just supposed to be supportive.
Just letting her know we all gathered...
Bobby, with all due respect, I don't wanna hear
about being here from you, okay?
That was encouragement?
Huh.
Do you remember the time we, uh,
we used to play music on Grandma's porch?
She'd-she'd also sing and dance, as I remember.
I do remember.
Eating those biscuits, those biscuits with grain.
- And your gas afterwards. - Yeah, we all remember that too.
Thank you for bringing that up.
And remember when we'd go down to that bar,
and she got up on the... on the bar and danced.
Oh, my God.
She kicked every glass off that bar.
Oh, my mother.
Hey, Max?
What is that noise?
It's the death rattle.
That's her soul
- trying to say goodbye. - Is that it?
- It's not her... - Oh, my God.
Everyone, I know that this is hard, but this is normal.
I want you to know that Mabel is not experiencing any pain.
I administered morphine a little while ago.
But hang in there, guys. You're doing great.
You know, the Buddhists believe that their soul
always remains with the family.
- Oh. - Goodbye, Mom.
Wait? Did she die?
Did she die? Is she dead?
Wait, did she die?
- Fuck! - Bye, Mom.
Wait, did she die?
I can't believe we're not there.
- This is so fucked up! - We should be with her.
There are a lot of instructions, and you're not
listening to any of them, Dorsey.
God damn it, Bret!
- This is so stupid! - This is so fucked!
We should be there!
Do we know yet if she died?
Why aren't we there?
Okay, just a little bit quieter.
A little bit quieter.
We can hear you. She can hear you.
- Grandma? - Where are you going, Max?
- Look, we get it. We get it. - You're both the saddest.
Grandma!
Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh, no Grandma.
- Grandma you can go... - Go and join Dad.
- It's okay. - Bye-bye, Grandma.
Have a celestial journey.
- It's okay. - We're here with you.
Sleep, Mama.
- It's okay, sweetheart. - You can go.
I know I can go now.
Don't give me advice.
Bunch of know-it-alls.
I missed it?
Did-did I miss it? Is she fucking dead?
Did I miss it? How come I didn't get the link?
- Shh. - I've been texting you, Mama.
Stop, stop you missed...
yeah, I think you did miss it.
- I don't know. - Where have you been?
- Oh, thank God. Oh, my God. - I really thought that I...
Here we go.
I am going to leave this connected for a few minutes.
I just wanted to convey my condolences.
I'm so sorry.
Mabel was such a sweet, sweet woman.
A great soul with a twisted sense of humor.
- Yeah. - Which I like.
Cass, hon.
You just wanna sit with her for a while?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll just sit with her until the free session runs out.
Okay. Okay, you do that.
I'll make your favorite spaghetti, okay?
You just come down when it's over.
Cass? Oh, sorry.
I-I thought the screen had frozen.
You were both just so still, you and Gigi.
Look just, um...
Forget it. Love you, kid.
I brought you some spaghetti.
I'm still with Gigi.
How has it not expired yet?
I took your credit card and bought a premium session.
Okay.
Do you want the spaghetti or not?
Yes, I want the spaghetti, and I want you not to be there.
Have you seen the girl
with the mind on fire?
She set out to tell the world how they suppress our desires
- Maybe yes. Uh, maybe no. - Definitely no.
My mother died yesterday, and I'm-I'm a little scattered.
How do you spend the first day without someone you love?
Especially when you... you can't be with your family
to share the memories and the love they created.
Let me know if there's anything I can do.
- No, just let's... - let's continue the meeting.
- Hey, Max? Max? - What?
You don't even seem upset.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Autumn Care of Nash, this is Kelly.
Hi, Kelly, this is Judith Joiner.
I-I'm Mabel Worth's wife.
- Okay. - We met on Zoom.
I'm interested in getting Mabel's things
sent to me here in New York City,
and I'm just checking to see that you have my address.
Mabel, right, uh.
I believe you were not listed as next of kin, Judith.
Okay, that, that doesn't make sense.
Can you just check the list again, please?
- I'm sorry. - I-I don't have you listed.
Okay, can you tell me what's going on with her body?
Where is she and what are the plans here?
I'm so sorry, Judith, but Mabel made her own arrangements.
Why can't you tell me what they are?
It's not a lot of... I'm not asking for a lot here.
Just where is she?
All I can say is that they are coming to get her body soon,
and let me know if I can...
if there's anything else I can do for you.
- Yep, yep, yep. - Thank you very much.
- I just put bagel... - are you there?
- Sorry, I just look... - I know I look like a mess.
Yeah, I didn't wanna say anything. What's up?
I'm trying to make Grandma's biscuits.
I mean, you know I gotta stay busy when I'm sad.
Where are you?
Uh, I don't know.
I think I'm in Arizona, actually.
Your kitchen looks really nice.
How much did Grandma spend on that remodel?
Well, Kevin did most of it.
I mean, you should see the garage.
He just changed everything to kind of like a...
a man cave, and he calls it his Garage Mahal.
He is so funny, you know.
So listen, I've been trying to kinda get a poll, you know,
as to what grandma Mabel would want.
Okay, well, I can do that.
I can just... who, like...
just let me know who you haven't reached yet and I'll just...
Oh, no, I don't need you to take over. No, no, no.
I was just saying that's what I'm doing and I've got my list...
Well, I just, you know, like
I don't really like feeling out of the loop
and I mean, you know, how...
I just, like, wanna... just one of those times
I wish I still lived in Spring Hope.
Oh, really?
This is when you wish you lived here?
No, you did it right.
You left. We don't need your help now.
I mean, I could have used it before.
I'm just gonna ignore that dig...
Just trying to kinda figure out everything
for the digital memorial, and...
I'd really love to still try
to do, like, an in-person funeral.
I really think we should do something really traditional.
So you're gonna come home for this?
You're gonna come home for this?
Yeah, she would want us all to be together.
She would have wanted us to be together
a little bit more before she died.
I mean, Katie, I think a lot of times
when stuff like this happens, like,
you start to understand, like, what's really important...
Let's keep thinking about it.
Let's just... let's just keep talking and keep thinking.
How's Max doing?
He's doing great, actually.
This time has been really good for us, I think.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I mean, it's been hard for him.
It's hard for all the kids. I mean, it's hard...
Yeah, that's what I thought,
that's what I thought, kinda hard.
That's like really passive aggressive,
what you're saying. Why don't you just come
right out and say what you think?
Okay, I don't think that you should have taken a teenager
who is going through a global pandemic across the country.
I just think it's insane, to be honest.
I-I just want you to focus on your family
and just focus on you.
You've-you've never had a problem
doing that in the past?
Uh.
All right, Max is coming back with snacks,
so, uh, I think I'm gonna go now.
I feel like, yeah.
- Okay, I didn't mean to be... - So I'll just stop...
I didn't mean to be rude, okay?...
- No, it's fine... - You just ran off...
- It's fine. It's fine. - You know what, it's fine.
I know you have all of your opinions and since, you know,
you and I haven't really kept in touch that well lately,
I don't really expect you to know what I'm going through.
So I'm just gonna...
I'll take off, and, you know, I'm here if you need me.
Come on. Dorsey.
Bye.
God damn it.
Yeah, I don't know why my mom has us on some stupid road trip
in stupid Arizona.
I think she's trying to get us out of the house,
but now we're in a smaller house on wheels.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Except for Katie.
I hope she chokes someone in those goddamn biscuits.
No one makes them like Grandma did.
No one. I hate this RV.
Oh my God, Cassidy, my mom is glitching.
- I hate this year! - Look at this.
I think my mom is having a meltdown.
- Max, not now. - I need some alone time.
You clearly haven't seen my dad when he has a meltdown.
Max, knock it off. I mean it.
Dude, she's being normal, stop.
- Stop. - Leave her alone.
What are you doing? Go, go.
During these unique times,
more people rely on the gig economy
to support themselves and their families.
- Hey, there, Judy? - Judith.
- Okay, well, I think... - I think I found the place.
We're talking about the Autumn Care of Nash
nursing home, right?
- Yes, yes. - That's it. That's right.
Jessica, a Tasker, took that to an extreme.
Okay, so do you... do you want take a screenshot
or do you want me to do that?
Look, just-just do what you're doing.
- And so it seems to Judith. - What?
Okay, the task I hired
a Task Rabbit to do is to provide me
with an ongoing live stream of a particular building, yeah?
Okay, but for how long?
Indeterminate.
Wow, okay.
What if I have to pee or eat or sleep?
I have... I have kids.
Can you just, just...
Yeah, that's it.
My wife died in there.
From COVID?
- No, she was in her 90s. - Old age, I guess.
Whoa. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
I just thought it was from the virus
'cause, you know, it's so common these days.
Didn't feel common.
No, I mean,
it's really fucking intense to watch a person die,
don't get me wrong.
I one time watched, like,
three of my cousins, like, blow up.
We were on a... on a jet boat,
and the thing just like exploded
into a fireball right in front of us.
Okay, stop talking, Task Rabbit.
Perfect.
Just like that.
Hey, guys.
- Hey. - Oh.
Hey, Katie, are you doing some modelling on the side?
I don't think the light's big enough
to... to get rid of the lines.
- Can't hear you. - Oh, come on Katie.
We can't hear you...
- Bummer. - Turn your mic on.
Damn it, my mic wasn't on.
I know none of you care about your looks,
but I pride myself on my appearance,
and I'm sorry that you don't.
- You look beautiful. - Thank you, Mama.
- You know what? - You know what else is gorgeous?
Inner beauty. Just inner beauty.
Let your... let your soul shine through.
You have inner beauty, Bret.
- He doesn't have either... - inner nor outer.
I don't need a ring light to let my beauty shine through.
- You sure about that? - Oh, my kids.
- Are we all here? - No.
- Where's Chad? - We're waiting on Chad.
- Hello? - Hey.
- Hey, guys. Wow. - Look at everybody.
Jesus, Katie, you look blown out.
- What? - Uh, sorry, guys.
I had some book stuff going on. I had oversee it.
Oh, I thought you were trying out
for the next season of "The Vikings,"
or whatever that show was on.
- Very good. - That's a beard burn.
Well, you know, everybody's made
sacrifices during the pandemic.
That's for sure.
- And you sacrificed your looks? - He sacrificed.
He's completely hell-bent now.
- Is this what we're doing? - Is this what we're doing?
'Cause I actually... I have stuff I could do.
Hey, that looks like Granddad's mug.
Hey, Chad.
Did you bring that to Russia with you?
Does it? Don't think so.
- A little bit. - Hold it up to the camera.
I don't think so.
Chad talking about unkind.
That comment you made before
about my showing or not showing up,
I really took offense to that.
Okay.
Okay?
Yeah.
Can we please get back to discussing the funeral?
- Thank you, darling. Thank you. - Thank you, Mama.
Alex from the funeral home,
he is gonna be joining us shortly.
- Wonderful. - He's a very nice man.
I've got a huge itinerary for us,
so we're gonna have to move, move, move.
Oh, hello, family.
Hi, Alex.
- Hi, Alex. - Hey, Alex.
Sorry about that.
Ooh, ooh. Al?
- Can you hear him? - I'm having a little trouble.
While he's figuring that out,
I just wanna say I am so happy
that Mom did not die of COVID.
That she went peacefully.
She died either way.
Thanks for...
Should we help him or something?
- Can't hear you. - Restart the Zoom.
Go to the settings and turn on and off the audio.
- It's working... - Settings on and off!
- Stop yelling. - Robert?
- Screaming doesn't help. - Oh, dear Lord.
Okay, how's-how's that?
- Okay, yes, you're there. - Yes. Good.
- That's better. - You're welcome, guys.
Thank you.
Again, my name is Alex,
and I'm the manager here at Cornerstone Funeral Home.
Shall we get down to the business of bereavement?
Great.
Let's discuss everything
that Mabel wanted from this event.
Okay can I... can I just stop you right there?
I'm just wondering if...
like, is event the right word?
Only because "event" makes me think of celebration.
Celebration makes me think of something...
I'm just saying it makes me think
of birthday parties or graduations
or, you know, like a prom.
You're looking at it wrong, right Alex?
- Well, you know, uh. - Celebration of...
All families grieve differently.
Yeah.
Please can we just go on with this?
- Yeah, sure. - Yes, abs... thank you, Mama.
I think personally that I know exactly
what Grandma wanted for the service,
- so I can dive right in. - I know what she wanted too.
I talked to her, too, so I'm pretty prepared.
And I knew too because I had talked to her a bunch.
So I've got some notes right here.
Yeah, I talked to her a few days ago.
I talked to her too about a day ago.
- Please, girls. - I can't take this today.
I was also texting with Kelly.
- Not today. - I can't hear it today.
So first, well, I think what we're gonna wanna do is,
we're gonna decide who is writing the obit.
I should write the obituary.
Alex, I don't... have you had a chance to read my book?
- I have not. - Oh, come on.
Second, we'll get into the flowers.
I will handle the flowers.
- Thank you, Judith. - Thanks, Judith.
And then third, we'll get down to the digital memorial service.
Just seems so cold.
- Mom, it's-it's the world. - It's where we are now.
Oh, you know, actually, there's a lot we can do now
digitally and remotely that doesn't take away
from the experience of-of...
and the intimacy of the experience as well.
I mean, I have been having therapy
over Zoom since it all started,
and it's-it's working for me.
That is one over-share there.
In your opinion, I guess.
- I could never do therapy. - It's so much lying.
Lying?
I'm not gonna tell a stranger any of my real secrets,
so I'd be lying.
Well, you don't need therapy because
you-you... you're never gonna have it.
- Oh, why? - Because she's perfect.
Katie's so perfect, isn't she?
Come on, no one's perfect.
- Thank you, Mama. - Thank you, Mama.
Okay, let's talk about what we'd like Grandma to wear.
I think we need to make sure
that she's buried in her blue nightgown.
- Yeah. - She loved blue.
She doesn't care what she is buried in.
- Yeah. - Was her favorite color.
She loved that blue nightgown.
I don't really don't have a strong opinion about that, so.
Yeah, sure, I mean,
she totally loved her blue nightgown.
Fine. It's fine.
I do think she should not be
bare-shouldered.
I think a wrap or something
over the nightgown 'cause it is cold.
I feel so... I feel so sad
for all the families that have to go through this.
I don't feel like we should have a digital funeral.
Honestly, I think it just... it has to be in person.
H-How's that gonna happen?
I think we should vote and see... because I don't feel.
We already decided all this, Dorsey.
It has to be in real life.
Gigi really wanted all of us to get together.
Given the circumstances, I don't wanna be crude,
but of course, Mama and Bobby are elders.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Not that I'm not thinking about you guys.
Why don't we, like... we could quarantine for 14 days?
- Dear God. - We're not gonna do that.
Why not?
How is Robert supposed to get here?
Thank you.
Is that the guy who, like, sold his soul to the devil
so that he could live in Russia for the rest of his life?
It's not my fault I had to expose the government's secrets.
I'm sorry. I had to do that.
- I think you know what? - I think... thank you.
I think we should vote, and I vote for in-person.
I'm in favor of an in-person funeral.
And at risk of doing something I'm never gonna do again,
I'm gonna agree with Dorsey.
I think it would be important for us all to be together.
I think it would be really good for Cassidy.
All those people for not in person?
Everyone for not in person? There we go.
- Well. - Look that this.
- Is that your hand up, Alex? - Alex, are you voting?
- Do I get a vote? - No.
I don't know, you started going like this.
Oh, I was just counting the hands
to see who was up for what.
Did you get a count?
I threw my numbers off when I...
'cause you guys counted me, and then I counted myself.
But if I can get another vote.
It looks like we need a recount in North Carolina.
Y'all, we have to talk to Grandma's estate attorney,
and you guys have been talking about nothing,
- and we've gotten nothing done. - Oh, my God.
Alex, thanks so much for all your help.
- Absolutely. - Good luck with that meet up.
Everybody just stay on.
The same link for the attorney. Stay on.
- Okay, all right. - I'm staying on.
Bye.
Hello, friends and family, again.
- I'm confused. - It's me again, Alex.
And now I know... I know you're wondering...
you're probably confused.
Like, what is the funeral director
doing in a meeting with
your grandmother's estate attorney?
The answer is I'm both. I'm a... I'm a licensed attorney.
It kinda made sense for me, business-wise.
You know, I had the office space,
built-in client base.
Impressive.
Hey, Bret, that sounds
like a new business idea for you.
- Very funny, Robert. - Potentially successful.
There's a reason why, you know,
bail bondsmen set up across the street from jails, right?
- Oh, my God. - Who-who found him?
- Katie? - One price.
- I-I am in the "Pennysaver." - He is in the "Pennysaver."
Yeah, I mean, if anybody else in your family passes
or whatever, please use my... my number, uh, one-stop shop.
Yeah, and let's just get on with it, please.
Well, Mabel wanted to address you all directly.
Now?
Hello to my wonderful family.
If you're seeing this, I'm not with you anymore.
First of all, I just wanna say how great, wonderful, fantastic
it's been to be your mother, your grandmother,
and your great-grandmother.
To every one of you, that has been such a joy.
I also wanna say how wonderful it was
when I fell in love with Judith.
The four years with her in New York
and the marriage was absolutely wonderful.
Judith, I am sorry I had to leave you,
but I felt I had to come home to die,
and this is home.
I just wanna say
what sort of service will you have for me?
First of all, I'm not crazy about the traditional service.
Doesn't have to be that.
I don't know, maybe I don't believe in God.
I know everybody thinks I want
to be buried in that blue nightgown.
I don't give a shit about the nightgown,
so please come together
and figure out where I want to be buried and how,
or else no one will know where I'm being laid to rest.
Next, I wanted to say that I am very disappointed in the family
in terms of what it's been this last year.
You've all been acting like jackasses
and keeping so many secrets
from each other, and frankly, well, I'm sick of it.
Secrets keep people apart, divided and distant.
So I'm removing that element.
First of all, Diane, I know you thought that I love Bobby
more than you, and I didn't.
No, I loved you both the same.
And Bobby, there is someone that you must open up to.
You must tell them what you're feeling.
Do it now.
Bret, I know how hard it's been since Megan died,
and you've been raising Cassidy on your own.
It's very hard.
And I want to say, Bret,
I'm sorry I didn't invest in your Barcalounger idea.
And also, you never paid back any of the loans
that so many of us gave you.
And now Katie, you and Kevin
have got to work your differences out.
And-and most of all, though, I wanna just thank you
for taking care of me before I moved here in this joint.
And Dorsey, I wanted to tell you
that I know that the allowance I sent you helps and mostly
because Max's dad was a poop.
And now I wanted to mention the arcade business.
Well, it turns out that there was embezzlement going on,
and it wasn't Diane,
it wasn't Bobby, and it wasn't me.
Robert, I just wanna say, I wish you'd ask for money
rather than doing it that way, but that's what happens.
It's not real. Is that real?
Here's a big one that I have to tell you.
One of you is not a sibling.
What the fuck?
I think I'll let you all figure that one out together.
And, you know, I-I think there's something I should tell you
that I don't... I don't think any of you ever knew
that I wanted to be a singer.
Duh, duh-duh, duh
That should do it. I gotta get back to being dead.
So goodbye for now.
Um...
I gotta go.
Whoa.
Wow, Alex, that was not on our itinerary.
Is that it? Is there more video? Or is there...
- Mm-hmm. - Really? How many?
There's a few more I'll send out.
I feel like we should either start
with Robert embezzling money...
Yeah, let's start there.
Or that one of us is not related to the other one?
I like that one.
Mama, do you know anything about this?
What is she talking about?
Do you know anything about that? Mom?
Are you and uncle Bobby not brother and sister?
Mama?
Bobby?
Yeah.
Do you have anything to say?
I didn't know that she could sing.
That's not the important thing right now.
She was also a stripper for a short period of time.
- What? - What?
What the fuck is going on here?
Alex, do you have more information?
You can't just play something like that for us and expect us.
- I gotta say these are... - these things
are usually, you know, a little juicy,
but this one was a doozy.
Ah, thank you, Alex.
Thank you for your professional legal advice.
- It's Bret, isn't it? - Why would it be me?
Because you don't look like us.
- You don't look like us at all. - Mom?
- What? - Is it Bret?
Robert, Dorsey, and I look like Dad.
Katie looks like mom.
Bret, you look like you walked
out of the woods
with the Wicker Man or something.
Lots of kids look different than their parents.
- Yes, they're called adopted. - Come on now guys.
This is... this is the opposite
of what... of what Mabel wants, isn't it?
- Mom, was I adopted? - Mom, was I adopted?
- This is a shit show... - Oh, my God.
And no, no one is adopted.
Judith, do you wanna weigh in on this?
All the pillow talk with our grandmother for four years?
Don't you have any input?
Yeah, Judith, what do you know?
It's not for me to say.
Well, somebody's gotta fucking say it.
Well, I hope I'm not related to you all.
- I hope I'm not related. - I understand this is hard
to hear, but if you can stay calm,
I think it's the best way forward.
Okay.
Not-not blame each other.
I don't think Mabel wants that.
But I want you all to know that
just because I don't have any secrets
doesn't mean, I think any less of you, okay?
There's some bombshells here.
There's some digging that needs to be done.
But if I learned anything
from my time with the Purakara people,
it's that we're all in this together.
And now we've gotta unpack some stuff, guys.
A-a lot of stuff.
And Bret, you wanna give us our fucking money?
Yeah, wait, raise your hand if you've lent money to Bret.
Come...
I just wanna point out that you guys have all given me shit
for asking for investments
- of money in businesses... - Loans.
And Dorsey has been just straight up
getting an allowance this whole time?
- Did you ask her for money? - Well, here's what happened.
Did you ask her for an allowance?
Okay.
Well, Mama, of course she asked her.
Okay, it was a long time ago.
It was around the time... and Max, I'm really sorry...
it was around the time of the divorce,
and I just didn't wanna have to, like,
owe Max's dad any money.
And so she offered to give me some money.
I said that would really help.
And then she just kind of kept sending me
that one amount that we talked about.
- So you didn't... yeah, you... - but you didn't ask her to stop.
Do you guys wanna maybe direct some of your anger toward her?
- Not really... - If you think about it...
'Cause Dorsey doesn't owe me money.
You owe me money, Bret.
Yeah, and by the way, I gave you money, Bret.
So basically it was just like Grandma giving you more money.
You made investments, and I'm sorry
that those investments didn't pay off.
The ideas were good.
- What's the idea? - It's a Barcalounger.
There's no idea.
If it makes you happy, I'm bankrupt.
I can't deal with this right now.
I do wanna address one thing,
and that is Kevin and I, and we're fine.
And I don't know what exactly Grandma's talking about.
- What was the thing... - Where is Kevin?
That she said that you need to work out your thing?
- Is he living with you? - He's been... he has the virus.
He has been in the garage for the whole month.
We have to be cautious.
You don't have to be that careful.
Hasn't he been tested again?
- He wants to be careful, okay? - Let's be very clear.
Ah! God damn it! God damn it!
I'm ending this meeting, I'm sick of this.
Wait, you have to make a decision.
Katie.
Somebody in the meeting
is not related to the family.
Make it so she can't end the Zoom.
Stop.
God damn it.
What an absolute shocker.
- She's such a baby. - You motherfuckers.
All the money in the world...
Thanks, Mom.
She's such a loner,
I can't understand
I go drink with her, but now I can't control myself
I get excited, and I get upset
And all the underworld officers...
- Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! - I'm tired.
Why is your brother screaming every second?
No one can do one thing without me.
Stop filming me.
Look how crazy my mom is.
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be doing Zoom school.
What the hell are you doing? I said stop filming me!
We all cope or don't cope in different way.
I swear to God, if you film me one more time...
And during the lockdown, it was mostly not coping.
Katie trying to be the perfect mother
would refer to this as an amplified reprimand.
Her kids just thought she had lost it.
- Max, what is that? - What are you doing?
Nothing.
- I can smell that. - Give it to me.
It's just a little weed, Mom.
You're smoking weed?
- It helps calm my nerves. - I don't.
- How do you have nerves? - You're 17.
And I'm right there.
Are you, like, not scared of me at all?
- I'm sorry. - Where did you get it?
I got it in LA.
You brought it in there with us?
- Yeah. - What if I got pulled over?
I would have to lie.
I would have to say that it is mine
and that I was endangering the life of my child.
And you would get taken away from me forever.
Maybe, I mean, that's a little extreme 'cause you're old,
but, like, how long have you been smoking weed?
Not too long, just since the start of the pandemic.
You're endangering us.
I didn't really think of it like that.
- And your brain cells. - I'm sorry.
And you're not even sharing.
- I mean. - Just kidding.
The world's a bunch of shit right now.
I mean, I... thinking about my future
and everything going on,
- it's-it's-it's a hell of a lot. - The world isn't shit.
It's really... maybe, like, right this exact second,
but everything changes.
Things change so fast, and, honey,
you don't have to know anything about your life right now.
And then things are supposed to suck when you're 17
'cause if they're really great now,
then where do you go from here?
Imagine if this is the best year of your life,
then how much is that gonna solve?
I mean, my dad is-is a poop.
I mean, and to be... you're all I got.
And to be fair, you're a poop too sometimes, but...
No, I get it. I know.
You're less of a shit than he is.
- I'm gonna go in there. - Why don't you take a walk?
Actually, why don't we go?
I'm really hungry all of a sudden.
- Okay. - Do you wanna just... wait.
It's gonna get better.
I doubt it.
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, say it with me.
I love paper towels.
Think of everything you use them for.
Think of everything that you haven't used them for,
but you will, and if you can't do that,
I-I-I would move on right onto paper boxes.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, listen to me. You know what?
I'm getting a call.
We will talk soon.
Think about what I said. Thank you.
Hi.
Hello.
How are you?
I have been better.
You know, you're gonna have to deal with it.
Excuse me.
I think you're right in there with me.
I'm aware.
I really just cleaned up your shit after you abdicated.
Thank you.
I-I just called to see how you were doing and...
Good talk. Thanks.
They can't keep it on the shelves.
Thank you, God. Yes.
My book is number one in North Dakota and Nebraska?
Oh, thank you, God.
Thank you, God. I can't believe this.
- Chad! - Yes, thank you God.
This is God.
I have no idea what you're talking about,
but it's not all about you, is it?
It's about the money you will give
to your brother, Robert.
Not funny, Robert.
I think it's pretty cute.
How long have you been inside of my security system?
- I was always here, my son. - Even with the pornography.
- That is not cool. - You voyeuristic pervert.
Do you understand me? Quit hacking our shit.
Okay, I mean I'm not.
- No one likes it. - No, but it's a thing.
It's like a... it's like you don't get it
when normal people get it.
Do you know what I mean by that?
No, but yes, but no.
Anyway, dude, I miss you.
I was calling to say hey to my big bro.
Yeah, well, it's a weird way to do it, man.
Hi, how are you?
- I'm really lonely. - Really cold.
Hey, I read your book.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Well. - It's really good.
It's very data-driven, I would say,
which is not usually my...
It's my personal retelling of a traumatic event in my life.
It's not data-driven. I mean, that happened.
A javelin came through and stabbed me in my torso cavity.
This is really great and long-winded.
I read it in the book.
Fantastic. I love it.
Millimeters, Robert, okay?
Chad would find out later that the-the success of his book
was due to a glitch in an algorithm at Amazon.
And Robert will later take credit for that said glitch.
Moving in and I knew it.
I have, you know, and I got myself up.
Not to mention I just felt an outhouse
for these people, so...
Do you remember when we watched...
we watched "The Omen,"
and Mom yelled down,
and they're like, "Is everything okay?"
And Bret was in the corner, vomiting from it.
I mean, that was "Goonies," but yeah.
But any... anyway, I'm just calling
because Bret and I want to play "PUBG."
So if you're down, meet you in five.
Yeah, right now?
- I said, meet you in five. - That indicates five minutes.
- Okay. - Kevin!
I'm exhausted.
I mean, look, we gotta tell the kids.
How? Like just tear the Band-Aid off, like, tonight?
Yeah, okay.
All right.
And then you gotta... you gotta go.
- Leave here? - No, go.
Oh, nah.
No, go.
Take your fucking stuff and get it out.
I love it here. Love it.
What are you possibly talking about?
I'm finally myself, like, I've found my voice.
- Now you're finding yourself. - And what is yourself look like?
I've grown more confident.
I think I've found, like, the truth.
Okay, get-get the fuck out, Kevin.
I'm gonna go back into my home when
I feel, like, comfortable with myself.
Okay, my brothers will come and remove you.
- Okay. - Bye.
- That's doubtful, but... - Start packing.
Let 'em try.
- Ugh. - What?
I said, ugh!
Boo. I'm a ghost. Hi, family.
Something tells me that you still
haven't figured out where to bury me.
I'm tired, kids.
Can you hurry it up? Now, how could I forget?
I-I have not mentioned yet my great-grandchildren,
but Max and Cassidy, it's now your turn.
Maxwell, stop downloading so much porn.
I mean, you can stream it,
but downloading, that means your mom
has to buy you a new computer about every 18 months,
and her allowance isn't that much.
And Bret, you really should pay attention
to your credit card bills.
Right, Cassidy? My sugar plum.
And Bobby, hey, how's it going?
Got anything you wanna talk about?
Your own little secret?
Also, we are rich.
I mean really filthy stinking, fucking rich.
Goodbye.
- Okay. - Max.
Cassidy? Cassidy?
Cassidy, open up.
Have you been using my credit cards?
Mom, what does she mean by rich?
- It's-it's news. - It's news to me.
- Like, how rich? - And, Bobby, is it news to you?
- What does that mean? - I have no idea.
Is it enough money if someone wanted
to start a life on their own?
Just let's say someone,
maybe didn't wanna be married to the person
that they're married to anymore and they had three kids.
Like, would it be enough money for that person?
Or maybe enough money to stop taking money from your grandma?
Are we talking about, like, if somebody on this list
wanted to do a little nip and tuck and a little pull up
and a ring light that just, like,
hovers around them all the time...
Not cool. Not cool.
- Is it that kind of rich? - Uh, not that rich.
If anyone's gonna get a lot of money, it's me.
I'd be worried if I were some of y'all.
Judith, yeah, what does she mean by rich, rich?
- That's not for me to say. - I'm-I'm afraid.
- It's not for you to say? - Not for you to say?
Say something. Come on.
- Oh, my God. - Judith?
- Guys, get your shit together. - Judith? Judith?
Like, what are we doing wasting time like this?
Wait, wait.
Way to go, Chad. Now she's gone.
Nothing like an inheritance to get the family greed boiling.
But I think Mabel's lying.
There are many definitions of rich.
That's her body.
Task Rabbit, whoo! Up you go. Let's go.
Follow that hearse, honey. Let's go. Come on, now.
- Up you go. Follow that hearse. - All right.
- Go, go, go, go. - All right.
Follow the hearse.
Oh, Jesus.
It's harder than it looks, Judith.
This hearse is a lot faster
than I am.
- Hi, Bobby. - Hi, listen, Judith.
I am so sorry that it's under these circumstances,
but I'm very happy to be able to talk to you.
I'm a little busy at the moment, Bobby.
So what's-what's up?
I just wanted to know
how Mom felt about me, actually, is the question.
I think she wanted you to come home,
and you never did that.
So I think she was hurt.
The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt her.
I couldn't come home. If-if I could, I would've.
You know what, hey, it's-it's not about me.
How are you?
Well, I'm heartbroken, actually.
I loved your mother very much, and I don't know
that I will ever get over not being with her when she died.
Well, I mean, you were there with us on the Zoom.
- No, no, no, no. - She didn't want me there.
That act of pushing you away was a demonstration of love.
She-she knew she was going to die.
She knew that was going to just break your heart in two.
I see what you're saying,
but I have to say it still hurts.
- It sounds painful. - Oh, God.
- Who is that? - Never mind. Never mind.
- Never mind? - Is somebody else on the line?
Oh, shit. Oh, wait.
Then I gotta make... I gotta make a U-turn.
- She's doing a task for me. - An errand.
God please let me make the roller derby team.
Just don't-don't-don't worry about it.
Listen, I think that if she knew what you were contemplating,
I think she would tell you to do it
and that she's proud of you.
Thank you, thank you.
She sounds like a really amazing woman.
Oh, my... okay.
My mother was the complete opposite.
- You're welcome, Bobby. - You're welcome.
She didn't like anything I did.
Oh, Task... whoo!
Task Rabbit, snap out of it now.
Come on now.
I think you have to track that body.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Look ahead.
Look where you're going. Yes, is that the funeral home?
Wait, I think I see the funeral home.
- Oh, my... - Oh, my God. I did it.
I did... I may have to charge extra, Judith.
I'm exhausted.
- Judith? - Yes.
Are you following the body?
That's exactly what she's doing, yes.
Look, I miss her, and I wanna...
I wanna know where her body is
until we bury her properly.
That's sweet.
I'm sorry to say this to you, Bobby.
I think your mother believed
that the family that she knew and loved was dead
and that what you need to do is to begin again as a family
and to do that with the truth, is that making sense?
Yeah, yeah, it does.
I think maybe this is a good time
for me to... for me to go.
- Whoo-hoo. - This task is not complete.
- Geez, fine. - Okay?
So I'll just let you know.
I need you to keep streaming. Bobby.
- Yes, yes. - I have to go. Bye, now.
Eww. Max, stop it.
You can't just fart in here.
Hey, Mama.
Still the only one who calls me on that thing.
- I'm on your fridge again? - I called your regular email.
Yeah, yeah, well, you can't call an email,
and you email my college email still,
which is just like a burner sign up email.
Forget it. What's up?
How are the kids?
They're good.
Just hoping... it's just Zoom school is so...
What?
I may have made a mistake,
and I wanted to talk to you about it.
Okay.
I know this pandemic's got me...
it's smooshing me.
It's-it's... I mean, it's, like, some...
some kind of inner jelly is spilling through.
Wait, what are you talking about?
Small mistakes can be fixed.
Big mistakes, some are so big that they...
you can't even see them.
They're so big they change everything.
They change you.
- Mama, okay, what happened? - What?
Do you have, like, an entire second family
or something that we don't even know about?
No.
- Okay, then what is it? - Katie, I...
I wanted to tell you that I...
Mama, I gotta call you back.
Stay away from that rooster!
To the west, to the west toilet.
Three guys.
Hey, can you guys drop ammo for me?
Ammo, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Top tower.
No, not yet. Not yet.
- Got 'em. - All right.
On the count of three.
- Boom, baby. - You got...
Do you think we should have tried
to play video games with Mabel?
Every shot is a headshot.
I miss her.
What if we brought her on and she just fucking owned?
- She really was. - She's kooky as shit.
She was fun, though.
Remember that time that she gave you whiskey
for your 16th birthday
and Dad got so mad at her?
- Yeah. - Hey, Bret, I gotta ask you,
what is going on with Cassidy's make up?
Oh, my gosh. Yes.
- I mean. - Details.
Being a teenager is hard
these days, you know what I mean?
Especially right now.
Can't see your friends, you know,
she's worried about the funeral.
One thing I remember when I was growing up,
Mom used to tell me
that the kind of guys she liked, were, like, the gentlemen
who treated her nice
and pulled out her chair and stuff.
But really what I realized now in hindsight is
what she was doing is,
she was basically telling me how to be.
So maybe you could use some
subversive kind of stuff on Cassidy
and say, like, how much you enjoyed it
when women don't wear makeup.
- She's a pretty smart kid. - I feel like she's gonna see
right through that and, like, use some sort of,
like, judo, reverse psychology
and turn my own energy back on me
and all of a sudden, I'll be wearing makeup.
Okay, let's move to the southwest quadrant.
There's no one here.
Robert, are you feeling safe out there
or do you feel like the pipe fitter's union is after you?
The pipe fitter's union is after all of us.
It's the only thing other than... seriously plumbing?
Are you kidding me?
That's the only thing that connects all of us.
What other thing connects all?
- The internet. - God.
God and electricity.
Dude, it pairs.
It's-it's one and the same thing.
I'm completely ignoring what you're saying, Robert,
just like the entire world completely ignored your leak.
You could go fuck yourself.
Robert, how often do you go outside in Moscow?
Every morning and stuff.
I do have to say, like,
the best part of my day is waking up
and just, like, smelling the honeysuckles out there.
They have honeysuckle in Russia?
Yeah, every place has the honeysuckles, I mean...
You're talking about the farm or Moscow?
Moscow.
It just reminds me of the farm back at home,
and it-it was just... it brings me, you know,
great memories of, you know, visiting it when we were young.
You guys, I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick.
- What? - Drop-drop your guns real fast.
- Oh. There you go. - So I'll take 'em.
Okay, Chaddy, it's me and you.
I actually am going to the bathroom as well.
Guys, come on.
The round's only 10 more minutes.
Dookie break.
My brothers abandon me in a graveyard
where I am alone to die,
and now I'm... I am completely talking to myself.
You're not taking a poop?
I don't think Robert's in Russia.
- What are you talking about? - I think he's at the farm.
You think Robert is at the farm?
The other day, he had a mug
that looked exactly like Grandpa's,
and when we asked him to hold it up,
he, like, covered it with his hand, which was super weird.
Like, why wouldn't he just show it to us?
So unless he went to the farm, got Grandpa's mug
before going... before fleeing to Russia.
That's entirely possible.
Fleeing to Russia for a leak about plumbing?
Like, nobody has to do that.
Like, Snowden had to go to Russia.
Like, he, like, he leaked some bad shit.
Nobody cares about Robert's thing.
Also, he just said something about a honeysuckle like,
do they have honeysuckle in Russia?
Okay, I don't know, dude.
He's a pretty big deal in this hacking world.
Like, these guys, these nerds, they-they really get
on each other's backs, and I'm-I'm not sure.
Could you just drive out there and see if he's there?
No, dude, we're in the middle of a pandemic, dude.
Just get out there, put a mask on.
See if he's there. I can't go.
I have Cassidy. I gotta look after her.
Well, I have obligations too.
Come on, you gotta do... just do it.
What does it look like...
Dudes, dudes, what's happening?
Come on. Are we not playing?
I finished up in the bathroom.
I just had a quick question for Chad.
But why are you FaceTiming each other
while going to the bathroom?
Kinda got sidetracked in the restroom.
It doesn't look like you're pooping, though, Bret.
I just had a quick question for Chad about the-the funeral.
I just wanted to run it by him before we got back in there.
- Yeah. - That makes no sense, Bret.
Well, what makes sense these days?
Everybody's inside for six months, so.
Okay, you guys are being weird.
Come on, let's go back to the game.
This is stupid.
- Robert. - What?
Real quick, what's the temperature
right now in Moscow?
22 degrees centigrade.
- Cool. - Yeah?
- Yeah. - Let's play this game.
All right, I will see you on the battlefield.
You guys are weird.
I have the weirdest brothers in the world.
Hey.
- Hey. - Nice night.
I'm out here just getting some fresh air,
having some free time.
Eat my gummy worms, you know.
My dad's currently freaking out right now
because of Grandma's secret sharing sessions.
- How do you know? - I never really knew her.
Of course, I did. Of course, I knew grandma.
I spent more time with her.
She's so much fun and smart too.
My mom did tell me, though, that her favorite sandwich
was banana and mayonnaise.
- And I've seen her eat them. - It's disgusting.
What-what are you doing?
- Chilling. - That's cool.
Statistically speaking, over the years,
it's-it's been harder to get young adults to leave the nest,
but after months of being safer at home with their parents,
those statistics would probably change.
Hello, I'm calling about Mabel Worth?
Alex, hi, hi.
- How are we burying her? - What's-what's the plan?
- You know what? - We're still working on it.
All right, well, you're outta time.
All right, look, I'm only contracted for a few more days,
and then we're handing her back to you in a...
in a brown box, okay?
That's nice. We... yes.
I'm gonna call you soon. Very soon.
That was too rude.
I'm so sorry. I should call her back.
Mommy! Mommy!
Alex.
- Yeah, sorry-sorry. - That-that was so rude.
Uh, I just need the family to decide.
Come on, everybody
Ooh, let's have a good time
Separate the clouds and celebrate the sunshine
Livin' day-to-day, I said I have a good time
Left, right, left, another step 'cause life's a straight line
Won't somebody new take me far away?
I want to start this off by saying I know exactly
where Mother wants to be buried.
She wants to be buried at the farm.
- No. - Yes, agreed. Yes, she did.
I think we should bury Mom at sea
because the Buddhist point of view
is that water is cleansing, and it is also the element...
She's not Buddhist.
Bobby, maybe you can bury yourself at sea.
Stop, come on.
I would like to just say
that I would like to keep this to serious suggestions.
I'm serious about the grandfather mountain.
She loved it, and it was a place
that she talked about constantly.
The place she loved more than anything
was the beautiful farm.
I mean, there's no question about it.
There's no question.
I just wanna throw this out.
What if we buried her at Parker's?
- The barbecue place? - Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
I do hate you, but that's a really good idea.
- I love that. - Thank you.
She did love their coleslaw.
- Oh, my God! - Love it.
Every time we went to go visit her grave,
we could go get Parker's.
We could go get barbecue every single time.
Wait, when was the last time...
I'm trying to remember, when were we there?
- I know. It's when... - When?
We were all sitting... we were all sitting around the booth,
and that little baby was crying in the corner,
and she just turned around and said,
"Excuse me, could you please put your tit in that baby's mouth?"
- That's right. - Remember that?
Yeah, it was my baby.
Remember Grandma always said, "You've gotta order extra."
She would say that even though you had extra at home already.
You had extra in the freezer at home,
and she'd be like, "You got to order extra."
- Chad, where are you going? - Where are you heading?
I feel like she...
- No, whoa, whoa. - Chad.
Chad.
Oh, no, no, no, are you serious?
Chad?
I think it's a really beautiful place.
Can you shut up for a second, Robert,
- and let me finish? - Where is Chad going?
Who gives a shit?
- Bret was right. - Are you serious, dude?
Are you in here? Hey!
- What are you doing? - Hey, come on, dude.
I knew it.
- Hey, back up, dude! - What's going on?
- Chad, stop! - What the hell?
I'm-I'm the only one who tells the truth in these meetings.
- What's going on? - What is happening?
- Dude, man, stop! - Are you guys kidding me?
Why can't you get your shit together
and have one day about Gigi?
I mean, she just fucking died.
I am so sick of all of your problems.
- Stop! Get off me! - Boys, calm down.
Do you believe how messed up this really is.
- Fraud! - They're acting like children.
- Fraud, fraud, fraud! - I'm a fraud? You're a fraud!
Your book isn't even a metaphor! You just got lost!
That's it. That does it. That doesn't make you wise.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to get away from this family.
I'm gonna move to Libya next time.
No, you're not going to Libya.
You are admitting that you embezzled.
Oh, I'm the only one who tells the truth in this family!
Fess up, right now.
You're the only person in this family
that stole from it.
You stole from me!
I sent you my book royalties! Admit it.
I'm sorry about that, actually.
- Does Katie know about this? - She knows you're here, huh?
- Yes. - What about Mom?
- Of course Mom knows. - I'm the favorite.
Fuck you!
You didn't come to when they rescued me by helicopter.
And you didn't come to the airport
when they brought me home from my parade.
You didn't come to my book launch.
- It was self-published. - So why would I go?
That is irrelevant, Robert.
I'm gonna love you
Hang around my doorstep
Ain't got no loose change
Stop, stop, stop.
- Same old shit, huh? - Same old tree.
- Stop it. Why are you so mad? - Do you ever think about them?
And yeah I faked... I faked faking my own death.
I faked going to Russia.
I faked being the second coming of Snowden.
You leaked information
regarding the planning infrastructure of Newark.
Terrorists could have used that.
- How? - How could they have used it?
There should've been a bigger deal, okay?
Listen, I was brave for doing that.
Yes, yes, you survived death.
Bret had to deal with his true love dying,
but I had to survive through you from...
you kicked the shit out of me!
All the time, man. You hurt your brother, man.
All I wanted to do was hang out with you,
and you fucking kicked my ass.
- Okay, all right, fine. - All right.
But you were pretty annoying, dude.
- I was what? - Annoying.
You were an annoying presence.
- I'm done. Let's go. Right now. - I'm done.
Yeah, I was hiding. Dad, let's go. I'm ready.
- Let's go where? - Right here, right now.
This annoying asshole is gonna kick your ass
in front of everyone on Zoom.
Let's go!
Swaying in the breeze now
Hanging on the burner
They're gone.
They're gone, bitch.
There are some things you just can't do over Zoom.
If either of them could fight, someone might actually get hurt.
Are you further apart but closer to you family now?
I mean, who-who did you get locked in with?
- Oh, my back. - I know. Oh, that truly hurts.
Oh, my God.
'Cause you're fucking everybody's favorite, man.
- Yeah. - Mom's, Gigi, Katie.
I'm also the best-looking.
- Don't do that. Come here. - You gotta crack my back.
One, two. God, you've gotten so fat.
Yeah.
- Okay, Dorsey. - What?
I need you to hear what I'm about to say.
- Bobby, don't. - Hear what?
Yeah, I'm listening. I'm here.
Diane, it is the problem with this family.
It is why the river forks
and the-the-the waters never come together.
- Oh, my God with the water. - She will not understand.
She will understand.
Can someone please fucking tell me
what-what is happening, Uncle Bobby?
We need to decide on this together.
- Mom. - Dorsey, I'm going to tell you.
Don't you dare.
Who is the host of this meeting?
- I am. I'm the... - Katie, do you hear me?
Do me a favor and mute your mother.
I need to put this in... into context.
Okay, you got it, Uncle Bobby.
Katie, do not mute Mom.
- I need to tell you how. - Katie, do not mute Mom!
Dorsey, can you just sit still for one minute.
This is not easy for me, but I am your father.
- Wait a minute. - I am your dad.
Oh, dear God.
Is that like what you're telling me right now?
I'm just gonna... you're telling me.
I am.
How could you be my dad with her?
That's disgusting, and that's like an insane...
And that's why that didn't happen, Dorsey.
What really happened was,
when you were born, your mother, my wife,
Susanna, was very, very ill.
She did not live a very long time.
I didn't know what to do. I was upended.
I-I had this beautiful daughter. I had no idea how to raise you.
And so I left you with my sister,
who raised you as her own.
Good for you, Bobby.
- Wait, Bret, did you know this? - Did anyone know this?
Okay, I just don't understand why this is the first time
I'm assuming any of us have heard about this?
Oh, God.
Holy shit!
- Max! - Mom.
Oh, my God.
Uh, I just need a minute. If that's cool with everyone.
I think it's best if you call me Father Bobby from now.
Oh, my God!
Why didn't either of you tell me?
Because we're very good at keeping... where did she go?
Dorsey, come back here.
I am not coming back here!
I-I think I just... I just need a minute
'cause I don't fucking understand
what the fuck is happening right now.
Katie, can you just fucking unmute Mom for a minute?
And now I'm really pissed that you've been gone
for so many goddamn years!
Max.
Mom?
Hey, Max?
Will you put your dirty clothes in a laundry bag, please?
I'm gonna pass out.
I bought a big bottle of vodka.
That's weird.
- What's-what's weird? - What-what do you mean?
What? Which one?
Well, normally you put two ice cubes
in a glass of buttery Chardonnay.
Well, there's shit about me you don't know.
Okay, okay.
Okay, Dorsey is gonna be on in one second.
Oh, no, I'm... I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say.
I... you're gonna have to-to help me.
Hey, I think you should just be your... don't, no.
I think,
don't be your controlling self, be your loving self.
- My loving self. - You did everything right.
You're just... you weren't a good liar.
What? No one knew until Bobby told everyone.
- No, I knew you had a secret. - Blurting it out.
We all knew there was something.
What? No, you didn't.
There-there has always been
something just furious in you.
- There has not. - There was.
And we all had our own theories that messed us up.
You know, in a totally bespoke way, but...
Just bespoke. What?
I don't even know what that means.
Doesn't it mean customized?
Does it?
Hi, Mom.
Oh, stop. Stop.
Hi, baby.
The drama of this family.
I have two daughters,
and I'll always have two daughters.
Yes. Yes.
Look, I'm okay. I'm okay.
I, uh, I just did a...
A two-hour emergency therapy session.
Don't worry, I'm gonna ask you to join next week.
We can talk about that later. Both of you, Katie.
Well, let me just say, I always had a plan.
I had a plan. You weren't gonna stay.
I was gonna take care of you for a while, and then time went by,
and then it was too long,
so I thought it'd be devastating to you,
and I just hope this isn't too devastating to you instead.
Oh, I'm, like, properly fucked up.
But don't worry.
I'm gonna be, like... we're gonna be okay.
Well, yeah.
And I'm so happy you didn't leave me
with that fucking fuck up.
I mean, Bobby is a nightmare.
And trust me, it takes one to know one, I know.
And I-I just can't even imagine, like, what would my life be like
if it wasn't for you guys? I'm a part of this family.
It's not like you picked me up out of a dumpster
and forgot to tell me that.
I mean, I am... I mean, that's not true, right?
- No, honey. - Okay. Okay.
- We don't know. - I mean, that's it.
There's nothing else I need to know, right?
No.
I, um, I also just felt like I needed to tell you, Katie,
is that, even though it's not my fault,
I just think that you would have really kicked ass
at being the only girl
and all the light would be shining on you,
and I feel like you deserve that, and...
You're insane.
You're acting like this ruined my life or you ruined my life.
No one ruined my life. I messed it up.
Kevin-Kevin and I have split up. That little bitch.
But I'm... because I'm too controlling
and I've-I've been controlling.
I always thought being controlling was a good thing,
is that... it was about being strong
Well, we come by it naturally.
Yes, you do.
And my mother... my mother was very controlling.
Look at how she controlled this.
She did, the bitch.
- She did. - The bitch.
She's still doing it.
But Dorsey, seriously, I will be treating you like a cousin
from here on out, and you'll always be.
I think that might be a good thing.
I don't know how the boys are going to treat me from now on
'cause you know, they're gonna just give me an endless amount
of shit about this, right?
Like, it's gonna be never-ending.
Just like it always has been.
You should be happy that they're not your brothers.
That I...
I wish... what I would give to not be their sister.
And I don't believe that for a minute.
Max. Max!
What?
Let's go home.
Where's that?
Diane, I can't hear a word you're saying.
I can't hear anything at all that you're saying.
Diane, I can't hear you.
No, no. Don't-don't give a speech.
Diane, Diane, let's go to the phone.
Okay, just-just wait.
Since the day we met.
Yeah. Yup.
Um. Uh.
Thank you.
And I would say, I think the...
the way I would see it.
I froze for the whole fucking speech, didn't I?
Yeah, you did.
Ugh, ugh.
It's like watching the fucking Jetsons.
All the little boxes, all the little squares,
everyone lined up like we're all the same.
Honestly, it's fascism when you boil it down.
A part of me wants to never tell you
what the speech was about, Judith.
Yeah, well, a part of me was gonna say
I heard the whole thing.
How are you feeling? How are you doing?
Oh, I feel tired, confused.
I feel a lot of regret, Judith.
- Ugh. - I'm not missing her.
I've been missing her for 20 years.
Well, she missed you too.
She talked about you all the time.
A part of me was always scared
to see you the first few times that we were together.
Figured she told you her version of me.
Figured she told you about Dorsey.
She did, but I'll tell you
the only thing I ever thought about you
was what an incredibly strong woman you had to be.
In that position?
I mean, you raised five kids.
I found you intimidating.
And I found you admirable like Mabel.
Thank you.
I regret not knowing you better, Judith.
That was the gist of my speech, truly.
And I'm sorry that you couldn't be with her.
Well, she didn't want me there.
That's crazy.
No, she really didn't.
Oh, that's just like my mother.
She wants everyone around and to be left the fuck alone.
- Yeah. - She loves you, right?
I know that.
Thank you.
What the hell?
Hello, come in, over.
Hey, Dad.
I wanna try out a new communication strategy, over.
Yeah, well, it's analog
'cause some hacker broke into my computer
and has been monitoring my every move, so.
Well, maybe the hacker didn't know what else to do, you know.
Maybe he was a hacker who had a whole hacker family,
and in that hacker family,
he was the parent that didn't exactly know
what to say at the right time.
Or how to say the right thing.
Maybe he didn't understand what
his little girl was trying to say to him
because that was... that was the mom's job.
And the mom and the daughter in this hacker family,
they had this secret language
that they just... they just got each other.
They just had this instant, beautiful connection, and...
And then she died.
And he wasn't ready for that, even though he should have been
because he had a whole fucking year.
And still he wasn't ready.
And he forgot to learn the language.
And now he's losing her slowly. And he can't lose her too.
He's not losing her, over.
I fucked up, Cas.
I shouldn't have let you been there when she died.
It was too much. That was too hard.
You know, I still think about it all the time.
I know. I'm sorry.
We saw her leave.
I think it's proof that there are other worlds out there.
That's nice, Cas.
I mean, as we do some more deep space exploration,
we'll get real proof of there being other worlds,
but you know.
Stop talking about space.
You know, she said I had to take care of you somehow.
No, you don't have to do that.
It's not fair.
You shouldn't have been asked that.
I know.
But she was on morphine, so yeah, I get it.
We should talk more.
And, hey, keep the old can charged up.
Hello, I am shark from the deep ocean.
Hi, Bobby.
Wait a minute, how did you know?
Who-who is the Bobby you talk of?
Do you wanna talk to my mom?
- Is she in a good mood? - I'll see.
Okay, yeah. Well then, okay.
And just so you know,
I'm really glad I have a grandpa now.
I've never really had one before, you know?
I am so glad I have you in my life too.
Me too.
Perhaps Bobby will be
a better grandparent than parent.
We can only hope so.
- Mom, it's your dad. - He's a shark.
This is a shark from the very deep ocean.
I'm from the very...
All right, that was stupid.
Okay, let me transform. Hold it.
I'll put that. Here I am. Hi.
I-I thought, you know, that would be a, like,
a great disguise to a work around Max.
- Why do you need a disguise? - Max doesn't care.
Yeah, but you know, this is a very important moment for me,
and I-I didn't want to miss it,
and I-I-I wanted so badly to talk to you, but...
- You know, I guessed it once. - When?
It was at Grandma's 70th birthday party.
- Huh. - I don't know, I must've been,
like, 11 or 12, and you were playing with all the kids,
and you were running around
and I thought, "He runs like I run."
- You know what? - I remember that day.
Yeah.
It was a wonderful day,
and I am so sorry for the inheritance.
I like how I run.
I have so many things I wanna tell you, Dorsey.
I just... I don't know... I don't know how to say I'm sorry.
I mean, I have, like...
- I have a million questions. - I know.
You can't even understand how crazy I feel right now.
But before-before we even do any of this,
you have to know that Bill is my dad.
- Finally, someone mentions me. - He's my dad.
- It took them long enough. - I'm Bill, Diane's husband.
Okay, and-and the day he died was the worst day of my life.
- Heart attack in '98. - It was fast, no sympathy needed.
And there's no way this guy will ever replace me.
I-I do not want to take Bill's place.
I just want my own little place in your heart if I could.
It just... and then maybe it'll grow, and...
but I know... I know Bill is your dad.
I know that. I know that.
I gave that up a long, a long time ago.
I need a little time, all right? Okay.
Can I... can I talk to you again?
Yes, of course.
I just... I'm not ready yet.
Okay, this is the shark saying goodbye.
I don't wanna laugh right now.
- Can I just say one more thing? - You should be very proud of Max.
He is so perceptive.
He somehow... he knew I was the shark.
Okay, that's good for now, all right?
- Bye. - Bye.
I was standing
By my window
On a dark and cloudy day
Will the circle be unbroken
By and by, Lord, by and by?
There's a better home awaiting
In the sky
Well, that was beautiful.
Yeah, I'm really glad you all decided
to do a digital service, you know,
and you know, maybe when things are safer and we're cleared up,
we can do a full service,
you know, in person, the whole shebang.
And now for the final video.
- I'm back! Just kidding. - Still dead.
Welcome to the final installment of my last will and testament.
You've hopefully decided where to bury my ashes,
and it better be the place I'm thinking of.
The only place I ever really felt like we were a family
and that you've invited
my young, gorgeous, and sexy wife.
I know I dropped some bombs.
I'd say I was sorry, but that would be a lie.
I hope you're all healing.
Life is full of secrets, but it's better without any,
and I leveled the playing field.
I want you to love each other the way I love all of you:
unconditionally and unapologetically.
So if you haven't yet, forgive yourselves,
and then you can forgive each other.
You're not perfect. None of us are.
Give each other a second chance...
or in Bret's case, a third chance.
Or in Chad's case, a fourth chance.
I'm kidding.
I love you both, but you get what I mean.
You're family. We've gotta stick together.
Lastly, the rumor's true.
There's something of value at the farm.
Finders keepers.
I love you all so much.
- Me, too, Mama. - I love you, Mama.
Love you too, son.
Don't cry, Mom, it makes me cry.
Love you guys.
- Bobby? - Yeah.
I wanna say I'm sorry.
I-I thank you so much for that.
Yeah.
Love you, Dorsey.
I love you, Katie.
Yeah, love you, cuz.
Hey, guys, maybe we'll get along better now.
Dorsey, are you ready to let me into your life?
- I'm never gonna call you dad. - I'm sorry.
- How about papa? - I think... I think Bobby's good.
I think we're good. But I'm always calling you mom.
Well, I will always be your mother.
And your mother, and your mother,
and your mother.
And of course, my granddaughter.
And your sister and your friend, Judith.
- I appreciate that. - I appreciate all of you.
And boy, did Mabel love you. Every single one of you.
Hey, Judith as-as soon as COVID's over,
I was gonna grab my brothers and drive up to New York.
I have a meeting with the publisher
about another book.
- Oh, stop. - Come on.
What I wanted to say is,
it would be wonderful to take you out to dinner
and meet you face to face.
I would love that. Thank you.
Well, Judith, if you want, you know,
Bret's single, and the way I see it, I mean.
Mm-mm, hop on that train.
Well, that's kinda awkward.
What, Katie? Spread the love.
- Katie's single too, right? - I am single-ish, yes.
Judith?
- Yes, dearest. Here I am. - New York City.
Judith, we're keeping you in this family somehow.
Yeah, you can't escape us.
You are one wild, crazy group.
You should try it from the outside.
Honest to God, I've never seen anything like it.
- Oh, I love you all so much. - Love you guys.
So yeah, you can record them.
So I've been recording this one, and that's about it, Gigi.
So I can take care of the rest.
I can send out the invitations and stuff,
and all you need to do
is just connect on your computer or iPad or whatever.
And they'll all appear one by one.
How do they all fit on the screen?
The boxes get smaller.
That's what time does to your family, actually.
You start off with a little baby
and a chair in the middle of the night,
just the two of you.
And then more people come, and they get further.
And then when you're my age, whenever you look at them,
it's like looking through an old yearbook or something.
I hate my yearbook.
Why, dear?
- I hate the kids at school. - They make fun of me.
They think I'm crazy or something.
I don't know, maybe I am crazy.
- Cassidy, look at me. - You're not crazy.
You just loved her, and she loved you.
And so does your father.
- I just miss her. - I know.
You know, I think death is kind of beautiful.
Does that sound weird?
Yeah, to be honest, it-it does.
From where I'm sitting, it's a little scary.
Yeah, I don't know, though, it's just...
Death is so, you know,
just happens, and then it's a fact.
Death is kinda... it's true. I don't know.
I just... I think that's kind of beautiful.
Send those invitations out.
Just did.
See you there, Grandma.
See ya.
Dad? Dad?
What's up, sugar plum?
I'm coming down for dinner.
Okay.
Some kind of sweet relief
I hope you never leave
It's all the same to me
Just bring yourself
You know your presence is present enough
- I left you in a... - in an impossible position.
You were... you were incredible, Diane.
You were incredible to her, Mom, Dad.
You-you could have tried harder.
Don't you think if I knew how, I would have?
You could have made it so I didn't have to lie to her.
I know. I know.
Hey, Robert, are you gonna pretend
to live in Paris this year?
I've heard the fake weather is really lovely in the fall.
Give me my cappuccino and a little cigarette.
Wait, are you Italian now?
I'm-I'm a nomad, dude.
Oh, my God.
I can't deal with it anymore.
I'm gonna shoot this frigging rooster.
Who's he shooting?
He said the rooster?
Do we have a rooster on the farm?
Hi, Judith.
Hi, can I hire you for another task?
- Yeah, yeah, sure. - I'm-I'm driving now.
Um, I-I fell and I-I bruised my... my tailbone so now
I'm on this, like, donut thing, so.
- You know what I was thinking? - What?
Maybe I would take a ride to Spring Hope.
Are you kidding me?
I'm-I'm honestly gonna do that.
Baby, I'll meet you there.
Just do me one favor.
What?
Don't yell at me when you see me.
Well, I can't promise you that, Bobby.
Could you promise that you'll try?
- I'll try. - I can't ask for more.
- I'd love to. - I can't talk anymore.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
- No, it does not. - That's not how it works.
- Let me try. - One at a time.
It's a one at a time thing!
You've been doing it this whole time.
It's one at a time thing.
So where's your dad?
- He's making craft beer? - No way.
He's always doing weird stuff like that.
That... whatever makes him happy, I guess.
- Feel weird. - Oh, God.
- Week? - A month, a year, life.
I'm also really... I'm sorry that I didn't know what
was going on with you and Kevin. I mean, I guess nobody did.
- I wish you knew. - I didn't tell anyone.
It's just so embarrassing,
and he's so embarrassing, honestly.
He is.
Were you embarrassed when I first brought him around?
No.
I'm never gonna get him out of that garage.
He will not go.
There's creative ways to get them out of there too.
Yeah.
Like loud sex with someone in the house.
- That's a good idea. - Oh, my God.
Well, why don't I give you a tour of the farm?
- Let's do it. - Cool.
- How's Max? - He does drugs.
I learned. Just weed, though.
We did a lot worse than that.
Shh, shh-shh-shh-shh.
We don't talk about that.
Katie would love this place, man.
What are those assholes doing?
Oh, they thought Gigi was serious about there
being something valuable on the farm.
What if she was?
We've done this area, it's finished.
I don't know what I've done.
Because you won't stop talking to me.
Just share it, man.
Share it, share it, share it. I will shock you with this.
It's... you can't shock me with this!
Yes, you can.
- It shocks at the bott... - Hey.
It shocks at the bottom.
They say you can choose your friends, not your family,
but you can choose to be friends with your family.
- It's going well. - Let's go to a different area.
- We've done a lot. - I can tell.
- All right. - We're gonna start back.
I want to... stop.
It's time to look to the future.
Well, not for me, but-but you.
And after a year like this one,
the future sounds like a pretty good idea.
Whoa-ho-ho!
Oh! Whoa! Whoa.
- Jump on it. - Whoa.
- All the way. All the way. - Ooh!
And the cries of the street
into us
Our love will still be there
When the rain from the sky don't fall and the stars...
- And here we go. - We're gonna clap.
Okay, great.
What? The rooster?
All right, and Ann, give me a clap.
Clap city.
- All right, Judy. - Yup, good. Thank you.
Mac, give me a good clap in front of your face.
And Scott.
Okay, great. Thank you. There we go. Okay.
Margo. All right, great.
- Okay, I'm still rolling. - Should I go ahead and cut?
There we go. Good. Thank you.
Timothy.
Casey. Thank you.
Henry? Henry?
How often did you change your clothes
during the lockdown?
Welcome to this crazy thing we're about to do.
- Hey, Billy. - Howdy.
Nice to meet you.
Back at ya.
Once I get a set from Luke,
'cause he'll confirm
that all the cameras are actually rolling,
and then I'll tell Stephanie we're ready,
and she'll call action.
So everyone's got their slate. They've all put it up.
Well, I haven't.
- That's all right. - That's all right.
- It's okay. - Margo, it's fine.
- Is that a three, Billy? - Yeah.
Do I have to push anything
on the microphone or just turn it off?
Well, let me ask you, are both of my cameras rolling?
Do I want to record the Zoom too?
No.
And Susie's gonna give, like, a handheld POV shot.
Gonna DP you.
When you're ready and action.
Should we try to do this one much closer to book?
- Yeah, I think you should. - Yeah.
Is it really... I just need to catch that beat for them.
If you... just catch the beat,
and then you can use all of that wonderful stuff.
So if we... if we miss the beat...
I will call a reset, and we'll go back and get the beat.
Give me the beat.
They should turn the beat around.
Nope, no point in discussing anything technical with me.
Well, you mean I was not the only technical dummy?
Can't possibly be my fault.
- Lot of issues there today. - Lot of issues.
- Hey, don't worry. - We're gonna fix it in post.
If you go lower, not so good.
Oh, that's 'cause you're not wearing pants, Margo.
I'm kind of blown away by the fact
there may be life on Venus.
Didn't the government, like, reveal
that they have, like, UFO's are confirmed.
Yeah.
And then we're just like,
"Eh, well, it's Tuesday."
- Even a touch more. - Just a nudge, Scott.
- That's it. The light color. - Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah, can you do me a bit favor, y'all?
Can we shoot my side a bit so that I can get Rick
to help me move the barbecue?
Margo?
- Yeah. - I don't see you.
But you know, the-the camera... are you trying...
are you talking about the camera?
I'm trying to turn this-this off.
- I like the "Do me a favor. - Don't yell at me."
It's really good.
Let's take Judy, Henry,
and Margo to a breakout room, please.
Bye.
And then just to say, sorry, you weren't with her.
And then... and you could just say she didn't want me there.
I'm sorry you couldn't be with her.
Yeah.
She didn't want me there.
It might just be power strips,
but if I had one, it would be there, right?
- Okay, I'll check it out. - Okay.
Maybe don't wet your hair, Casey.
- You got it. - Let's reset from the top.
Just there's, like, a loud rooster
that Katie has been dealing with
the whole fucking time at the farm.
You know you're at the farm if you like... if you're like,
"I'm gonna kill that fucking rooster,"
or "I'm gonna shoot that rooster," would be better.
Yeah, give me.
Yo, that's the name of the movie.
Billy, you gotta say that.
- Oh, my God. - I'm gonna shoot that rooster.
Okay, let's cut.
Go ahead and stop our cameras
from recording and our microphone, please.
Thank you.
- Bye, bye. - See you all tomorrow.
- Thank you, June. - Bye, June.
See you tomorrow.
Our love will still be there