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One of the greatest needs God has put
into the heart of every human being

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is for a father.

3
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All of us have a fatherhood story.

4
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We either can share
about how much we loved him

5
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and how much he meant to us...

6
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or how deeply he hurt us.

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We see father wounds all around us.

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The hurt, the bitterness...

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the anger...

10
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the unforgiveness.

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People who've grown up without a dad

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that was present
or loving in their homes...

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the word "father"
is not a good word for them.

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They're seeing the brokenness
of this world. They're struggling

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in their marriages. They're trying
to provide for their families.

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And they don't know
that they have a father.

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And his heart is tender towards us.

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If you've been looking for a father,
if you've been wanting a daddy...

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if you want to experience
what it is to be fathered by God...

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your perfect Father in heaven
can change the trajectory of your life.

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Your daddy wants to restore you.

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There is a loving Father
in heaven who has created us.

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And He wants a relationship with us.

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I got a full scholarship
to go to Miami University in Oxford, Ohio.

25
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The Seattle Seahawks drafted me in 1976.

26
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I played seven years
with the Seattle Seahawks.

27
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After that, that's when I got
into my teaching and coaching career.

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I love coaching
because of the relationships

29
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that you develop with the players.

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You get close with guys.

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Mental part is what makes the difference,

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doing the little stuff right,
because everybody's got physical talent.

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And so they know
who I am and what I'm all about.

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And that they know that I care about them.
They know that... I care about you.

35
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I want you to be successful.

36
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The crowd settles in for Super Bowl XXXIV.

37
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-St. Louis against Tennessee.
-We went to a Super Bowl in Tennessee.

38
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We were the Houston Oilers,
then we moved to Tennessee.

39
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-We became the Tennessee Titans.
-Into the end zone.

40
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I was hired by Pete Carroll.

41
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I got to go back to Seattle
and spend seven years on his staff.

42
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Went to the playoffs
six out of seven years

43
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and two straight Super Bowls.

44
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I would always tell my players,
"If all you get from me is someone

45
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that teaches you
how to run the inside zone,

46
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someone that teaches you
how to run an option route,

47
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if that's all you get from me,
man, you can get that from a video."

48
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:16,023
I said, "I pray that I give you something
that will take you beyond this,

49
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that will help you become a better man,
a better husband, a better father."

50
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I wanna make a difference
in the lives of young people,

51
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the way my father
made a difference in my life.

52
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And I would look at each guy that way,
like, "You are my son,"

53
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in the way I will relate to him.

54
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As a father would relate to a son,
as my father related to me.

55
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My dad was my hero growing up.

56
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His presence in our life...

57
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how he saw more in us
than what we saw in ourselves.

58
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Speaking to me as a Black young man,

59
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not to hear the noise
that I was hearing from other people...

60
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who was trying to tell us that,
"You are limited in what you could do

61
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and where you can live
and what you can be."

62
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Not only was that lie being sold to me
by those outside of my community,

63
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but there were people within my community
that had bought that lie also.

64
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They was telling me,
"Going to college, you're just dreaming."

65
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And my father wasn't buying it.

66
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My father asked me a question, he said,

67
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"What do you wanna do
when you graduate from high school?"

68
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And I had a plan.

69
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Work in the steel mill,
get a nice car, and live in an apartment.

70
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So he took me on a trip. Got in the car,
he said, "I don't want you to say a word."

71
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So we drove down
to that apartment complex,

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which was a public housing unit.

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He said, "Don't buy the lie
that this is the only place you can live."

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We drove to that steel mill

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where my dad worked
for 30-something years.

76
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He said, "Don't buy the lie
that this is the only place you can work.

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Son, you're better than that.
Don't buy the lie.

78
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You can do more than that right there.

79
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Hey, don't forget who your daddy is.

80
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Don't forget who you are."

81
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So my father, he was letting me know

82
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my identity
was supposed to impact my behavior.

83
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When I was in college,
I had this desire to wanna know God,

84
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but I'm a visual learner.

85
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I was talking
to people about Christianity,

86
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they were telling me
what Jesus Christ could do for me.

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And I was looking at these people, saying:

88
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"Doesn't look like He's making
any difference in your life.

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You talk like I talk,
think like I think, go where I go."

90
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Quarterback Sherman Smith takes the ball
through the Marshall defense.

91
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And so one day, it was my senior year,
right before the draft, I said: "God,

92
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I wanna know if you're for real.
I need somebody to show me."

93
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God responded and revealed Himself to me.

94
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You know, training camp started,

95
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this one guy walks in,
big Black guy, big, old barrel chest,

96
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and on the back of his shirt, it said:

97
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"Hutch is going to Seattle
to do God's battle."

98
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And I remember thinking
to myself, "Oh, no, man. Here it is.

99
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I've come some 2000 miles

100
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to run into another one
of these 'Christians.'"

101
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I'm watching Ken Hutcherson.

102
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We're having a relationship
because we talk and stuff.

103
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But I'm watching his life.

104
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I'm checking him out,
gonna see what this guy's all about.

105
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There was something different
about this guy.

106
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In our last preseason game,
he gets hurt, blows his knee out.

107
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Take him off the field,
word comes back down on the field

108
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that his career is over with.

109
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And he has ice packs on his knee
and he's got a smile on his face.

110
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And he just says, "Sherm."

111
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"Man, I'm excited."

112
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And I'm looking at him, "Okay."

113
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"I'm excited
to see what God has planned for my life."

114
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He said, "Sherm, I'm a Christian.
And nothing happens in my life

115
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that's not filtered
through God's hands first."

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He said, "I'm excited
to see what God has planned for my life."

117
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And right there,
I said, "This has to be for real.

118
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You can't fake that right there."

119
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And right there in that room, I said,
"Please tell me more about Jesus Christ."

120
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He said, "God loves you.
God loves you so much

121
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that your sins are forgiven,
past, present and future."

122
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He said,
"Not only did God love you so much,

123
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the thing that has happened
is God says He's gonna save you

124
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from the penalty of sin. He's
gonna save you from the presence of sin.

125
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But now, God
is gonna save you from the power of sin."

126
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I said, "Lord Jesus, come into my life."

127
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Identity is the key to spiritual growth.

128
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You have to know who you are.

129
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My dad laid the foundation
for that thinking.

130
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And then when Hutch came to me
and said, "Don't you know who you are?"

131
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He was saying the same thing to me.

132
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"Don't you know your identity
is supposed to impact your behavior?"

133
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What a father is supposed to be...

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is a man who has accepted
the role and responsibility

135
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of transferring the character,
person, and purposes of God

136
00:10:25,552 --> 00:10:28,741
through him to his offspring.

137
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A father is the founder.
We talk about Founding Fathers.

138
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The word "father" means source
from which other things come.

139
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:40,045
It can also mean "chief" or a "leader."

140
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Our Heavenly Father
is a source of blessing

141
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:47,554
and love and provision
and protection and wisdom.

142
00:10:47,577 --> 00:10:50,094
And a father on earth

143
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should be receiving those things
from his Heavenly Father

144
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and pouring those out on his children.

145
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So he is the mirror,
the model, and the imprint.

146
00:11:01,425 --> 00:11:07,533
He's a mediary between heaven
and earth to the next generation.

147
00:11:07,556 --> 00:11:13,123
The problem
is that earthly fathers crack the mirror.

148
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:20,819
So the mirror of the Heavenly Father
doesn't come through clearly.

149
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,561
Today on Focus on the Family,
we're gonna look at fatherlessness.

150
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Your host is Focus president
and author, Jim Daly, and I'm John Fuller.

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The research about fatherlessness
in America is heartbreaking.

152
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Ninety percent
of all homeless and runaway children

153
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are from fatherless homes.

154
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Eighty-five percent of all children
who show behavior disorders

155
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come from fatherless homes.

156
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It really stacks the deck against us.

157
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I know this firsthand
because most of my childhood

158
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was spent without a father.

159
00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:32,477
Concept of fatherhood, for me, was tough.

160
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A father was somebody who hurt you,

161
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:39,010
a father was somebody
who disappointed you.

162
00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:42,888
My biological father was an alcoholic.

163
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One day, he'd run his hand
through my hair and say he loves me,

164
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and the next night,
he'd be drunk, threatening me.

165
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:56,111
One night, I was 5 years old,

166
00:12:56,134 --> 00:13:00,408
my dad was drunk,
sitting in a La-Z-Boy-type rocker,

167
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:03,036
and he had a hammer in his hand.

168
00:13:03,059 --> 00:13:05,331
And he was banging the hammer
on the ground, saying,

169
00:13:05,354 --> 00:13:09,668
"I'm gonna kill your mother
when she gets home."

170
00:13:09,691 --> 00:13:13,381
I looked at the walls,
and the walls of our house had holes.

171
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He had been hitting the hammer
through the walls.

172
00:13:17,158 --> 00:13:21,014
My siblings put me
in my mom's bedroom and tucked me in.

173
00:13:21,037 --> 00:13:24,893
I remember as a 5-year-old
pulling those blankets up to my neck,

174
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feeling like
this is the only protection I had.

175
00:13:28,379 --> 00:13:31,984
Next thing I knew,
a police officer walked through the door,

176
00:13:32,007 --> 00:13:37,032
right when his partner
was putting my dad in the police car.

177
00:13:37,055 --> 00:13:40,052
And then they drove away.

178
00:13:40,642 --> 00:13:43,246
Next day, we were on the move.

179
00:13:43,269 --> 00:13:45,123
I think we lived
in seven different houses,

180
00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:48,503
kind of running from my dad.

181
00:13:55,032 --> 00:14:00,015
My mom remarried actually
to kind of a real aggressive guy.

182
00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:02,309
Hank was his name.
I called him "Hank the Tank."

183
00:14:02,332 --> 00:14:05,187
He was an ex-military dude.

184
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:09,108
Used to do a white-glove test
every Saturday morning in our house.

185
00:14:09,131 --> 00:14:12,821
One time, I didn't hang my jacket up,
and he came in and said,

186
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:18,244
"Hey, hang up that jacket 500 times
and yell out the number.

187
00:14:18,267 --> 00:14:22,104
Follow the rules or be crushed."

188
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:28,754
I remember one day,
the bedroom door was slightly ajar,

189
00:14:28,777 --> 00:14:31,508
and I heard my mom yell for me, "Jimmy!"

190
00:14:31,531 --> 00:14:34,177
It was weak,
but I went in and I was shocked

191
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,307
because she looked frail. She was thinner.

192
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:40,935
But I didn't think anything else
other than maybe she just...

193
00:14:40,958 --> 00:14:43,146
You know, she was pretty sick.

194
00:14:43,169 --> 00:14:46,149
My mom was not doing well.
I didn't know what was wrong with her,

195
00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:49,320
but Hank
would lock her inside the bedroom

196
00:14:49,343 --> 00:14:52,114
and I'd go weeks without seeing my mom,

197
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:55,534
even living in the same house.
And Hank would always threaten me:

198
00:14:55,557 --> 00:15:00,623
"Don't bother your mother.
You're gonna wear her down."

199
00:15:00,646 --> 00:15:05,086
One day,
my brother was back from the Navy.

200
00:15:05,109 --> 00:15:07,387
He was 19, I was 9.

201
00:15:07,904 --> 00:15:12,178
He started calling
each one of us into the bedroom.

202
00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:15,474
And I walked in
and my big brother put me on his knee,

203
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:23,170
and he said, "I don't know
how to tell you this, but Mom's dead."

204
00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:30,364
I dug my fingers
into his forearm so deeply, his arm bled.

205
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:33,284
We go to the funeral a few days later.

206
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:38,165
And we get home and all
of our stuff was sold, all our furniture.

207
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:41,669
There was a box
of our goods in the living room.

208
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:45,089
Hank came out
of the master bedroom with his bags packed

209
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,716
and said, "I'm leaving.
I can't take the pressure

210
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,886
of four or five kids."

211
00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:54,225
And he got into a taxi and took off.

212
00:16:02,047 --> 00:16:05,779
And my brother said, "I've got a friend.
Their family's gonna take us in.

213
00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:09,159
We're gonna be foster kids."

214
00:16:09,264 --> 00:16:14,121
We moved to this little town,
a desert town called Morongo Valley.

215
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:19,544
It was chaos.
I mean, that place was not healthy.

216
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:22,463
Six months
into being at this foster family,

217
00:16:22,486 --> 00:16:26,300
the social worker came out,
and she said, "We've got a problem."

218
00:16:26,323 --> 00:16:31,181
And I thought, finally, an adult
that understands what I'm going through.

219
00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:36,271
And the foster father accuses me
of trying to murder him as a 9-year-old.

220
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:41,651
He was struggling
with some mental issues, I think.

221
00:16:41,674 --> 00:16:44,654
I'm thinking, do adults tell the truth?

222
00:16:44,677 --> 00:16:47,795
Do fathers tell the truth?

223
00:16:52,269 --> 00:16:54,373
After being there a year,
my dad showed up.

224
00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:57,669
He tracked us down.
He said, "Hey, I heard Mom died.

225
00:16:57,692 --> 00:17:02,591
I've been trying to find you.
I'm sorry what's happened."

226
00:17:02,614 --> 00:17:06,720
He asked the question,
"Would you like to live with me?"

227
00:17:06,743 --> 00:17:07,702
Yes.

228
00:17:08,871 --> 00:17:13,061
But it was kind of that feeling
of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you know?

229
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,230
If you come up in an alcoholic home,

230
00:17:15,253 --> 00:17:17,231
you don't know
which father you're gonna get.

231
00:17:17,254 --> 00:17:20,611
The good guy or the bad guy?

232
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:24,823
But I was desperate. I'll take either one.

233
00:17:24,846 --> 00:17:28,203
I moved in with my dad.
And it was rocky for that year.

234
00:17:28,226 --> 00:17:31,081
My siblings
didn't think I should live with him.

235
00:17:31,104 --> 00:17:35,795
And the master plan
was for me to move in with my brother.

236
00:17:35,818 --> 00:17:39,882
He had just married
his 16-year-old girlfriend.

237
00:17:39,905 --> 00:17:46,055
And the family wanted me to tell my father
that I couldn't live with them.

238
00:17:46,078 --> 00:17:49,768
So we had a family conference
in this living room.

239
00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:53,231
I remember
having to look at my father. I'm now 11.

240
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:54,606
And I look at him and I say:

241
00:17:54,629 --> 00:17:58,528
"Hey, I don't think
I should live with you anymore."

242
00:17:58,551 --> 00:18:02,448
And he looked at me and said, "Why not?"

243
00:18:02,471 --> 00:18:05,493
And I remember exactly what I said to him.

244
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:12,293
I said, "You haven't been a good father
and you didn't treat Mom really well."

245
00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:18,008
And to his credit, he stood up
and walked over to me and hugged me.

246
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:22,805
He said, "You know what?
I haven't been a good father.

247
00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:25,057
And I wasn't a good husband.

248
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,998
But I love you."

249
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:39,489
And four months later, he was found dead
in an abandoned building, drunk.

250
00:18:39,512 --> 00:18:44,308
He had fallen asleep and froze to death.

251
00:18:46,062 --> 00:18:49,292
Those were the last words
I had for my dad.

252
00:18:49,315 --> 00:18:52,253
"You're not a very good father."

253
00:18:52,276 --> 00:18:57,192
And, you know, I regret that to this day.

254
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:03,932
I move in with my brother.

255
00:19:03,955 --> 00:19:07,562
I go through junior high
and starting high school.

256
00:19:07,585 --> 00:19:08,563
I like sports.

257
00:19:08,586 --> 00:19:10,899
I play football, basketball, baseball.

258
00:19:10,922 --> 00:19:15,821
I find structure in those things, I think.

259
00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:20,284
Sophomore year, got a new football coach
at our high school, Coach Paul Morrow.

260
00:19:20,307 --> 00:19:24,997
And he just commanded respect
right from the get-go.

261
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:30,003
So I remember the first two-a-days,
it's like 100 degrees.

262
00:19:30,026 --> 00:19:34,509
And he pulls me out of the line
and grabs me by the facemask and says:

263
00:19:34,532 --> 00:19:36,594
"If you're gonna be a quarterback

264
00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:39,597
for this team,
you gotta win at these wind sprints.

265
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:42,266
Gotta demonstrate leadership."

266
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:46,105
And it's the first time
I'd been called out like that.

267
00:19:46,128 --> 00:19:49,441
And I would say
that I went from a boy to a man

268
00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:52,341
under Coach Paul Morrow.

269
00:19:54,178 --> 00:19:56,616
He started inviting me over
to his house for dinner.

270
00:19:56,639 --> 00:19:59,411
"Why don't you come to my house,
have tacos? We got Taco Tuesday."

271
00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:03,081
His wife, Joyce, would make,
you know, like a thousand tacos

272
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:07,336
for us guys that would show up
and we'd scarf these things down.

273
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,171
Eventually, he asked me

274
00:20:09,194 --> 00:20:11,757
if I'd like to go to a Fellowship
of Christian Athletes Camp.

275
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:18,806
I said, "Don't got the money for that." He
said, "No. Joyce and I will pay for that."

276
00:20:18,829 --> 00:20:21,393
So I go to this FCA camp.

277
00:20:21,416 --> 00:20:23,395
And there's a guy
from the San Diego Chargers,

278
00:20:23,418 --> 00:20:24,896
and he gave a message.

279
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:28,109
And we're clowning around,
like, all we wanna do is play football.

280
00:20:28,132 --> 00:20:31,572
At night, we're "Oh, man,
another boring Christian speaker.

281
00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:34,033
I mean, really. Come on."

282
00:20:34,056 --> 00:20:38,203
Anyway, this guy gets up there, and
he goes, "Has your father let you down?

283
00:20:38,226 --> 00:20:42,302
Has your stepfather let you down?"

284
00:20:48,654 --> 00:20:51,301
And it just pulled me in.

285
00:20:51,324 --> 00:20:54,179
"I'm gonna introduce you
to somebody who'll never let you down,

286
00:20:54,202 --> 00:20:55,847
and that's Jesus Christ."

287
00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:59,560
And he just kept talking.
And I just was compelled.

288
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:02,229
He said, "Come down here
if you want that relationship

289
00:21:02,252 --> 00:21:04,524
with a father that you've never had."

290
00:21:04,547 --> 00:21:09,571
And I was there,
in tears, bawling, "I want that father."

291
00:21:09,594 --> 00:21:13,575
That night, I gave my life to the Lord.

292
00:21:13,598 --> 00:21:16,704
It didn't change everything overnight.

293
00:21:16,727 --> 00:21:19,999
I mean, I still had many valleys.

294
00:21:20,022 --> 00:21:23,499
But, eventually, it lined up.

295
00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:27,383
And I will forever be indebted
to Coach Paul Morrow.

296
00:21:27,406 --> 00:21:31,970
He was that first man that paid attention
to me, that seemed to care about me.

297
00:21:31,993 --> 00:21:36,309
He was treating me like a dad would.

298
00:21:45,217 --> 00:21:48,989
Every child needs a godly father.

299
00:21:49,012 --> 00:21:52,201
But that may not be
your biological father.

300
00:21:52,224 --> 00:21:56,914
It may be someone
who accepts that role in your life,

301
00:21:56,938 --> 00:22:01,796
to bring
the Heavenly Father's perspective to you,

302
00:22:01,819 --> 00:22:06,175
and to take the principles
of what he is like and mirror them,

303
00:22:06,198 --> 00:22:08,386
model them before you.

304
00:22:08,409 --> 00:22:11,597
In the same way
that Jesus became the visual image

305
00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:14,142
of the Heavenly Father,

306
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:19,064
men should become
the visible image of that Father,

307
00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:26,520
as modeled by Christ,
to those who still need to be fathered.

308
00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:48,179
My dad ended up leaving
when I was around 3 or 4 years old.

309
00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:50,640
My mom, you know,
was continuing to do the best she can.

310
00:22:50,663 --> 00:22:54,379
Odd jobs here and there, and...

311
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,337
I might be, wow, 5 or 6.

312
00:22:58,129 --> 00:23:00,568
My mom just told
the person she was sitting there with,

313
00:23:00,591 --> 00:23:04,280
she told him, she's like,
"When we adopted Deland..."

314
00:23:04,303 --> 00:23:06,699
I remember looking up
saying, "I'm adopted?"

315
00:23:06,722 --> 00:23:09,953
I can't remember what her response was.
She just kind of kept on going.

316
00:23:09,976 --> 00:23:15,250
She was like, "Yeah,"
and she kept doing what she was doing.

317
00:23:15,273 --> 00:23:18,254
My mom started seeing another person.

318
00:23:18,277 --> 00:23:22,217
He had spent time in jail.
We had to go up and visit him.

319
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,278
I never liked it.

320
00:23:25,243 --> 00:23:30,309
It was almost like we were sacrificing
being in that type of situation,

321
00:23:30,332 --> 00:23:33,522
for what I guess we thought
would be a back-end reward

322
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:37,233
of a guy getting out of jail,
who was gonna do the right things

323
00:23:37,256 --> 00:23:40,737
and do right by my mom
and by me and my brother.

324
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,836
That... That is not what happened.

325
00:23:45,098 --> 00:23:48,371
I think some of the anger
or the resentment that I held

326
00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:50,790
towards the males that I was exposed to,

327
00:23:50,813 --> 00:23:54,377
I had a major problem with those guys.

328
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,090
I was really looking past
those times and those instances

329
00:23:58,113 --> 00:24:02,386
with those guys to just a better life.

330
00:24:02,409 --> 00:24:05,055
I prayed for me and my brother and my mom

331
00:24:05,078 --> 00:24:09,059
to get through this night,
or whatever it is.

332
00:24:09,082 --> 00:24:12,981
I just wanted to get past this,
this period of time in my life

333
00:24:13,004 --> 00:24:16,151
that I could start
doing something on my own.

334
00:24:16,174 --> 00:24:18,611
Campbell Memorial
had quite a shootout tonight,

335
00:24:18,635 --> 00:24:23,200
as they were battling it out
for the Mahoning Valley Conference title.

336
00:24:23,223 --> 00:24:26,496
So going into my senior year,
things really took off.

337
00:24:26,519 --> 00:24:28,582
McCullough will take it the last 11.

338
00:24:28,605 --> 00:24:32,377
Touchdown here! They go up 27-22.

339
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,964
I said, "Well, I'm not staying here.

340
00:24:34,987 --> 00:24:39,635
I'll tell you that right now.
If nothing happens, I'm not staying here."

341
00:24:39,658 --> 00:24:41,721
That's when the switch flipped for me.

342
00:24:41,744 --> 00:24:45,516
I said, "I might be smaller
than them guys," at that time.

343
00:24:45,539 --> 00:24:48,270
"But nobody is gonna work harder than me."

344
00:24:48,293 --> 00:24:50,522
I was in a position
to start getting recruited.

345
00:24:50,545 --> 00:24:53,651
Sherman Smith came to recruit me.

346
00:24:53,674 --> 00:24:57,154
In 1989, I coached at Miami of Ohio.

347
00:24:57,177 --> 00:25:00,241
We had decided we were going
to recruit Deland McCullough.

348
00:25:00,264 --> 00:25:02,952
McCullough, he is gonna break through
a couple tackles.

349
00:25:02,975 --> 00:25:03,912
He ran hard.

350
00:25:03,935 --> 00:25:06,457
He's a straight-line runner.

351
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,708
...into the end zone.

352
00:25:07,731 --> 00:25:09,877
Man, he was just getting it.

353
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:13,214
You know, this guy
was just trying to get away.

354
00:25:13,237 --> 00:25:16,050
So I was fortunate that I was able
to recruit in my hometown area,

355
00:25:16,073 --> 00:25:18,111
Youngstown, Ohio.

356
00:25:18,243 --> 00:25:21,807
I go to his high school, his senior year,

357
00:25:21,830 --> 00:25:27,230
and he comes downstairs
and, you know, I introduced myself.

358
00:25:27,253 --> 00:25:28,940
And I went down, it was like a movie.

359
00:25:28,963 --> 00:25:30,775
He had his back turned, he turned around,

360
00:25:30,798 --> 00:25:35,154
he said, "I'm Sherman Smith,
running back coach from Miami University."

361
00:25:35,177 --> 00:25:41,620
And he was well spoken, and put together,
and smart, played in the NFL.

362
00:25:41,643 --> 00:25:44,331
I'm blown away
because I'd never seen a person

363
00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:47,252
face to face, you know, from Youngstown

364
00:25:47,275 --> 00:25:49,462
who had accomplished
what he had accomplished.

365
00:25:49,485 --> 00:25:52,257
It was the same day
that I did a home visit

366
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,885
and went to his home,
and I met his mom, Adele.

367
00:25:55,908 --> 00:25:59,932
I told Deland, "This is the type of man
that you need to be around."

368
00:25:59,955 --> 00:26:03,072
Somebody like Coach Smith.

369
00:26:05,962 --> 00:26:08,024
I remember I drove them to campus,

370
00:26:08,047 --> 00:26:12,612
because at that time, they didn't have
the means to get there on their own.

371
00:26:12,635 --> 00:26:18,952
Four and a half hours
in the car there and back, just to talk.

372
00:26:18,975 --> 00:26:21,999
I loved it up there, you know.

373
00:26:22,022 --> 00:26:25,334
And I just was looking
at Coach Smith as somebody...

374
00:26:25,357 --> 00:26:28,964
I'm like,
"This is a guy I can learn a lot from

375
00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:31,675
and just continue
to form a connection with,"

376
00:26:31,698 --> 00:26:36,013
so I end up,
you know, committing to Miami.

377
00:26:36,036 --> 00:26:43,710
After Coach Smith, the other schools
didn't make a difference at that point.

378
00:26:53,222 --> 00:26:56,620
I wanted to make a difference
in Deland's life, no doubt about it.

379
00:26:56,643 --> 00:26:57,870
We just talked.

380
00:26:57,893 --> 00:27:02,084
All I knew of him
was as the running back coach for Miami.

381
00:27:02,107 --> 00:27:04,128
Man, I wanna live to glorify God.

382
00:27:04,151 --> 00:27:06,214
I wanna be a difference maker.

383
00:27:06,237 --> 00:27:08,591
I wanna be a mentor, an example.

384
00:27:08,614 --> 00:27:12,136
Then it's not something that you do,
it's who you are.

385
00:27:12,159 --> 00:27:15,599
His character and everything
came through immediately,

386
00:27:15,622 --> 00:27:18,519
and that's what drew me to him.

387
00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:21,814
When you meet guys, you don't know
if they don't have a father in their life.

388
00:27:21,837 --> 00:27:26,485
You don't know what they have.
Your conversation may not get that deep.

389
00:27:26,508 --> 00:27:30,448
I liked what he stood for
and the way he carried himself.

390
00:27:30,471 --> 00:27:33,869
Like I always say to my players,
"You may not be looking for a father,

391
00:27:33,892 --> 00:27:36,497
but I'm gonna treat you like my son."

392
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,876
I could just imagine him
being, you know, a great father.

393
00:27:40,899 --> 00:27:44,630
In the way he treated us,
the way he treated the running backs.

394
00:27:44,653 --> 00:27:48,218
The type of person he was, he was strong.

395
00:27:48,241 --> 00:27:52,139
Going through that first semester and just
excited and feeling good about everything.

396
00:27:52,162 --> 00:27:55,017
That's when Coach Smith, he ended up...

397
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,562
He got a job
at the University of Illinois.

398
00:27:58,585 --> 00:28:00,384
That was tough.

399
00:28:01,130 --> 00:28:05,778
He was the reason that I went to Miami.

400
00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:09,199
From my life experiences,
you learn how to adapt.

401
00:28:09,222 --> 00:28:12,411
I'm like, "Hey,
I've dealt with a whole lot worse,

402
00:28:12,434 --> 00:28:13,704
with guys leaving my life."

403
00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:16,541
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, some guys went out with a bang.

404
00:28:16,564 --> 00:28:19,710
He didn't go out with...
He was solid for me

405
00:28:19,733 --> 00:28:23,214
all the way up until he left,
and was respectful when he left.

406
00:28:23,237 --> 00:28:24,549
So I was good.

407
00:28:24,572 --> 00:28:27,136
I was good with the next move.

408
00:28:27,159 --> 00:28:30,014
He put his name
in the record book at Miami University.

409
00:28:30,037 --> 00:28:33,060
Matter of fact, Deland McCullough
is the all-time leading rusher

410
00:28:33,083 --> 00:28:34,936
in the Mid-American Conference.

411
00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:42,444
And yet he enters the NFL
feeling he still has a lot to prove.

412
00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:45,573
I was like the sixth-string guy,
coming into training camp.

413
00:28:45,596 --> 00:28:49,368
And by the end, I was the number one guy.

414
00:28:49,391 --> 00:28:50,828
"I'm gonna be a hard-working guy.

415
00:28:50,851 --> 00:28:55,583
I'm gonna try to be the best person
I can be, flaws like everybody.

416
00:28:55,606 --> 00:29:01,757
But I wanna create something more positive
for myself and for my family."

417
00:29:01,780 --> 00:29:06,429
We go into the last preseason game
with two minutes left.

418
00:29:06,452 --> 00:29:09,809
And I get my knee blown out.

419
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,777
Needless to say, a major setback.

420
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,823
And, you know,
the interview after my knee injury,

421
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,617
and have the media and everybody say,

422
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,912
"Hey, you were supposed to be the starter
the following week."

423
00:29:28,935 --> 00:29:31,873
I felt like right then,
everything was validated.

424
00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:39,569
You know, if I never played another play,
I showed I could play on this level.

425
00:29:45,244 --> 00:29:48,725
I had two ACL surgeries on my right knee.

426
00:29:48,748 --> 00:29:54,148
I was done at that point.
I said, "I gotta start working.

427
00:29:54,171 --> 00:29:56,275
Would love to do something in coaching."

428
00:29:56,298 --> 00:29:59,320
And then here I am,
you know, now at Miami,

429
00:29:59,343 --> 00:30:04,618
I'm a 37-year-old intern,
basically, at my Alma mater,

430
00:30:04,641 --> 00:30:07,788
which is weird, like, "Okay, I'm looking
at my picture all over the place,

431
00:30:07,811 --> 00:30:10,833
but I'm the lowest level guy
on the staff."

432
00:30:10,856 --> 00:30:13,014
But it's all good.

433
00:30:14,694 --> 00:30:16,130
I'm there, I'm loving it,

434
00:30:16,153 --> 00:30:19,009
and I get a call
from the head coach at Indiana.

435
00:30:19,032 --> 00:30:22,888
He offered me a job
as a running back coach.

436
00:30:22,911 --> 00:30:27,894
Put a bunch of guys in the NFL,
and, you know, kind of rose up the ranks.

437
00:30:27,917 --> 00:30:32,482
So I'm like, "Wow. You know,
I just got in this and just took off."

438
00:30:32,505 --> 00:30:34,984
As he was coaching at Indiana University,

439
00:30:35,007 --> 00:30:39,281
he would call me up, we'd talk
about coaching techniques and questions.

440
00:30:39,304 --> 00:30:42,034
I wasn't saying,
"I'm gonna do what Coach Smith did."

441
00:30:42,057 --> 00:30:43,285
It just happened.

442
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,038
"I'm gonna call Deland up tonight,
give me some drills for this.

443
00:30:46,061 --> 00:30:47,791
Give me this. Give me that."

444
00:30:47,814 --> 00:30:51,753
So we had that kind of relationship,
a coach-friend relationship.

445
00:30:51,776 --> 00:30:54,297
And we're both from Youngstown.
We both went to Miami.

446
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,884
The time we spent together,
our relationship, talking on the phone.

447
00:30:57,907 --> 00:31:00,262
Both of us going to play pro ball,

448
00:31:00,285 --> 00:31:02,848
both of our careers end
because of knee surgeries.

449
00:31:02,871 --> 00:31:07,354
I tell all my players this,
that they made a difference in my life.

450
00:31:07,377 --> 00:31:09,064
I got something from them.

451
00:31:09,087 --> 00:31:12,818
Our next job both was in the Big 10.
He went to Illinois, I went to Indiana.

452
00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:14,653
This is why I do what I do.

453
00:31:14,676 --> 00:31:19,472
This is why I do it, for guys like that.

454
00:31:19,598 --> 00:31:24,455
Fatherhood on earth actually
comes from the fatherhood of God.

455
00:31:24,478 --> 00:31:26,959
God didn't look down
on something He created,

456
00:31:26,982 --> 00:31:30,421
and says, "Hey, I like that.
I'm gonna call myself Father."

457
00:31:30,444 --> 00:31:34,299
No. From the very beginning,
He, as the perfect father,

458
00:31:34,322 --> 00:31:40,473
created fatherhood on earth
as an introduction to who He is.

459
00:31:40,496 --> 00:31:42,892
So a father should view himself

460
00:31:42,915 --> 00:31:47,022
as a provider of not just physical things
for his family

461
00:31:47,045 --> 00:31:52,987
but spiritual example
and nourishment for his children.

462
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:57,451
A father has to also be
a strong protector for his family.

463
00:31:57,474 --> 00:32:01,204
We see families falling apart
when fathers don't step in

464
00:32:01,227 --> 00:32:06,461
and protect their wives, protect
their children, protect their families.

465
00:32:06,484 --> 00:32:10,298
Another role a father has
is to be a loving leader.

466
00:32:10,321 --> 00:32:15,303
Not passive on the sidelines, but
stepping up and leading by his example.

467
00:32:15,326 --> 00:32:19,933
Coaching his kids with clear direction
and leading them with love,

468
00:32:19,956 --> 00:32:22,436
winning the hearts of his children.

469
00:32:22,459 --> 00:32:26,149
A father has to also be
a truthful teacher to his children.

470
00:32:26,172 --> 00:32:28,026
If there's something
you want them to learn,

471
00:32:28,049 --> 00:32:32,990
you take responsibility
for teaching it to them.

472
00:32:33,013 --> 00:32:36,076
A father should be
a willing helper to his children.

473
00:32:36,099 --> 00:32:39,497
A father should voluntarily
look for ways to serve his kids.

474
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:44,752
Getting his hands dirty, helping
to meet their practical day-to-day needs.

475
00:32:44,775 --> 00:32:48,840
A father
is also to be a hopeful encourager.

476
00:32:48,863 --> 00:32:51,510
Cheering his kids on towards success,

477
00:32:51,533 --> 00:32:53,805
walking them through the hard times,

478
00:32:53,828 --> 00:32:55,972
and giving them hope for the future.

479
00:32:55,995 --> 00:32:58,809
As kids get older, a father will shift.

480
00:32:58,832 --> 00:33:02,105
He will take on the role
of being a compassionate friend.

481
00:33:02,128 --> 00:33:05,609
Even as a father
shows compassion on his children,

482
00:33:05,632 --> 00:33:09,321
so God also shows compassion on us.

483
00:33:09,344 --> 00:33:12,700
We should view fatherhood
as an introduction

484
00:33:12,723 --> 00:33:16,830
to the fatherhood of God,
and dads should ask God to help them

485
00:33:16,853 --> 00:33:24,526
to be a good representation
of who He is to their own children.

486
00:33:28,030 --> 00:33:31,303
A big day in New York City
for Ohio State tailback Eddie George.

487
00:33:31,326 --> 00:33:34,057
It is my pleasure to announce the winner.

488
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,077
Eddie George, Ohio State!

489
00:33:40,963 --> 00:33:46,361
To have my father proud,
to have him in the stands cheering.

490
00:33:46,385 --> 00:33:48,780
Feeling good about his life.

491
00:33:48,803 --> 00:33:55,517
That was my sole purpose
of playing a game of football.

492
00:33:56,897 --> 00:34:01,086
I must have been about 9 or 10 years old,

493
00:34:01,109 --> 00:34:03,756
my mother told me
he had a nervous breakdown,

494
00:34:03,779 --> 00:34:08,678
and he just resorted
to ease the pain through substance abuse,

495
00:34:08,701 --> 00:34:12,537
and he was a garbage-can junkie.

496
00:34:13,582 --> 00:34:17,062
The year that he connected with me
was the year I won the Heisman.

497
00:34:17,085 --> 00:34:19,648
And people around me were like:

498
00:34:19,671 --> 00:34:24,487
"He's only coming back because he sees
the potential in you going to the NFL

499
00:34:24,510 --> 00:34:26,156
and he wants something from you."

500
00:34:26,179 --> 00:34:27,858
I didn't care.

501
00:34:28,431 --> 00:34:29,951
I didn't care.

502
00:34:29,974 --> 00:34:36,688
I wanted my father.
I always was looking for my father.

503
00:34:39,109 --> 00:34:46,782
The Houston Oilers select Eddie George,
running back from Ohio State.

504
00:34:46,952 --> 00:34:50,099
1996, I was drafted
by the Houston Oilers, where I...

505
00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:55,688
That's where I first met Coach Sherman,
who was my running back coach.

506
00:34:55,711 --> 00:34:57,732
Eddie took charge from day one.

507
00:34:57,755 --> 00:35:04,948
There was no question
in anyone's mind that he was special.

508
00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:09,995
Out the gate,
Coach Sherman called me Big Cat.

509
00:35:10,018 --> 00:35:14,209
He said, "Big Cat,
glad to have you, glad we drafted you."

510
00:35:14,232 --> 00:35:16,377
And I just got
a good feeling about Sherman

511
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,881
because he was young, approachable.

512
00:35:19,904 --> 00:35:27,218
And he was just someone
that I felt like I could grow under.

513
00:35:27,538 --> 00:35:32,146
Sherman felt more like a father
than he did a coach.

514
00:35:32,169 --> 00:35:37,609
I get a phone call from my girlfriend
at the time that she was pregnant.

515
00:35:37,632 --> 00:35:42,197
And I'm not ready
to be a father at 22 years old.

516
00:35:42,220 --> 00:35:47,496
And I panicked.
And Sherman pulls me aside.

517
00:35:47,977 --> 00:35:50,582
And he says, "Man, listen, calm down.

518
00:35:50,605 --> 00:35:53,669
It is a beautiful thing to have a child.

519
00:35:53,692 --> 00:35:59,091
When all the emotions settle down,
you wanna do what's best for your son."

520
00:35:59,114 --> 00:36:04,181
He says, "Man up,
take on your responsibility.

521
00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:06,767
Be a father to your son.

522
00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:12,063
Be in his life, not just be a paycheck,
but really be there for your son."

523
00:36:12,086 --> 00:36:16,527
And he helped me
get through that emotionally.

524
00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:21,324
At that particular moment,
Sherman Smith was the perfect fit for me.

525
00:36:21,347 --> 00:36:28,781
He was the father figure
that I needed at that point in time.

526
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:33,546
Sherman was always that second father
figure for me when I was playing sports.

527
00:36:33,569 --> 00:36:38,259
He treated his guys like that.
Sherm was big on responsibility now.

528
00:36:38,282 --> 00:36:41,346
I mean, because as a player,
you had to be responsible for your job,

529
00:36:41,369 --> 00:36:42,932
or you'd mess up the whole team.

530
00:36:42,955 --> 00:36:46,268
And so he's letting us know
that being responsible as a fullback,

531
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:49,438
being responsible as a running back,
being responsible with the ball

532
00:36:49,461 --> 00:36:52,525
that you're given to carry,
not dropping it.

533
00:36:52,548 --> 00:36:55,361
And he would carry that into life,
"Don't drop the ball now,

534
00:36:55,384 --> 00:36:57,948
because it's not
somebody else's responsibility

535
00:36:57,971 --> 00:37:01,785
to carry what you've been given."

536
00:37:01,808 --> 00:37:04,622
So we talked about
being the type of person you wanna be.

537
00:37:04,645 --> 00:37:07,542
Man, if you're a dependable,
accountable, responsible person,

538
00:37:07,565 --> 00:37:09,669
that goes with you on the football field.

539
00:37:09,692 --> 00:37:12,338
You don't leave
who you are in the locker room.

540
00:37:12,361 --> 00:37:15,174
You take that with you,
that's who you are.

541
00:37:15,197 --> 00:37:16,717
You can't compartmentalize,

542
00:37:16,740 --> 00:37:19,555
"Well, I'm a dependable,
accountable, responsible football player

543
00:37:19,578 --> 00:37:23,726
but I'm an irresponsible father,
husband, man."

544
00:37:23,749 --> 00:37:25,936
It doesn't go together. It doesn't work.

545
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,857
So what he was doing
was feeding our spirit

546
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:33,070
about what it means to be a godly man.

547
00:37:33,093 --> 00:37:35,531
Being a father is very important.

548
00:37:35,554 --> 00:37:38,658
It's not just talk,
there's gotta be an action.

549
00:37:38,681 --> 00:37:43,717
It has to be authentic, it has to be real.

550
00:37:51,571 --> 00:37:56,179
One of the principles in Scripture
is the principle of adoption.

551
00:37:56,202 --> 00:38:03,686
That we have been adopted into a family
where God is our father.

552
00:38:03,709 --> 00:38:07,857
God doesn't just wanna be
a distant acquaintance to us.

553
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,777
He doesn't just wanna be
a mentor or a provider.

554
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,698
He wants to be a loving father to us.

555
00:38:13,721 --> 00:38:16,743
When we place our faith in Jesus,
the Scripture says:

556
00:38:16,766 --> 00:38:19,913
"The Father adopts us into his family."

557
00:38:19,936 --> 00:38:22,500
We become His beloved children.

558
00:38:22,523 --> 00:38:26,711
We now have access
to His ear and His heart and His throne.

559
00:38:26,734 --> 00:38:32,384
So there is a relational component
to our salvation that's not theoretical,

560
00:38:32,408 --> 00:38:35,045
but is very practical.

561
00:38:46,841 --> 00:38:51,364
One day, my wife and I were on an airplane
flying to New York City.

562
00:38:51,387 --> 00:38:55,285
I'm sitting on the airplane, I'm spending
some time reading the Scriptures.

563
00:38:55,308 --> 00:38:58,413
And I was reading in John, chapter 10.

564
00:38:58,436 --> 00:39:00,791
"I have other sheep
that are not of this fold

565
00:39:00,814 --> 00:39:03,085
that I must bring
to be a part of this fold."

566
00:39:03,108 --> 00:39:08,132
I'm looking at this passage of Scripture
and God speaks to my heart, crystal clear.

567
00:39:08,155 --> 00:39:10,844
It wasn't audible,
but he communicates to me,

568
00:39:10,867 --> 00:39:13,346
"I want you to be open to adoption."

569
00:39:13,369 --> 00:39:15,683
This was totally unexpected.

570
00:39:15,706 --> 00:39:18,394
And I turned to my wife, and I said:

571
00:39:18,417 --> 00:39:21,730
"I think God wants us
to be open to adoption."

572
00:39:21,753 --> 00:39:25,735
Well, she smiles,
and I didn't realize that she had been

573
00:39:25,758 --> 00:39:30,031
praying for me for two years that God
would turn my heart towards adoption.

574
00:39:30,054 --> 00:39:32,869
I felt like
the Lord was confirming something

575
00:39:32,892 --> 00:39:35,705
that he'd been stirring
in my heart for years.

576
00:39:35,728 --> 00:39:38,416
A friend of mine
was in the process of adopting,

577
00:39:38,439 --> 00:39:43,964
and she was sharing
about the kids in orphanages in China

578
00:39:43,987 --> 00:39:49,742
that didn't have a mom and dad,
and I was sold.

579
00:39:55,248 --> 00:39:59,939
So I wrote down in my Bible "adoption"
next to that verse, and I dated it.

580
00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:01,774
Fast forward two years.

581
00:40:01,797 --> 00:40:07,990
We filled out all the paperwork,
and then they begin to send us referrals.

582
00:40:08,013 --> 00:40:11,410
We get this picture
on my phone of this cute little girl

583
00:40:11,433 --> 00:40:13,370
in another country,
she had a cleft palate.

584
00:40:13,393 --> 00:40:15,040
And she was precious.

585
00:40:15,063 --> 00:40:17,667
They said,
"Do you wanna adopt this child?"

586
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:20,629
We were thinking,
"We got 24 hours to make a decision."

587
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:25,092
And unexpectedly,
this strong heaviness comes over me.

588
00:40:25,115 --> 00:40:29,180
It was weird. It was almost like
this dark cloud comes over my heart,

589
00:40:29,203 --> 00:40:30,891
like something is not right.

590
00:40:30,914 --> 00:40:32,475
Didn't make sense to me.

591
00:40:32,498 --> 00:40:34,560
It's making me sleepless at night.

592
00:40:34,583 --> 00:40:36,479
I'm praying, talking to Jill.

593
00:40:36,502 --> 00:40:41,194
And I remember calling a friend
and she advises people on adoptions.

594
00:40:41,217 --> 00:40:46,241
She said, "This is too big of a decision.
If it is not a clear yes, then it's a no."

595
00:40:46,264 --> 00:40:53,217
So when Stephen
turned down that first referral, I cried.

596
00:40:55,731 --> 00:40:58,671
A few days later,
they send us another referral.

597
00:40:58,694 --> 00:40:59,964
Same thing happens,

598
00:40:59,987 --> 00:41:05,971
precious girl, beautiful, heaviness,
something's not right, I turn it down.

599
00:41:05,994 --> 00:41:11,768
It happens again about a few weeks later.
They send us another referral, heaviness.

600
00:41:11,791 --> 00:41:15,397
And I eventually turned down
four referrals.

601
00:41:15,420 --> 00:41:17,608
I called the adoption agency, said:

602
00:41:17,631 --> 00:41:20,319
"How does this work?
Because this is not fun anymore."

603
00:41:20,342 --> 00:41:23,573
And I begin to be worried about
what are people gonna think about me?

604
00:41:23,596 --> 00:41:25,409
I know there's no child that's perfect.

605
00:41:25,432 --> 00:41:27,035
What's wrong with me?

606
00:41:27,058 --> 00:41:30,497
I'm struggling here. This is hard.

607
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,292
The next month, the adoption agency
quit sending referrals.

608
00:41:33,315 --> 00:41:35,170
To be honest, I was relieved.

609
00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:37,547
I was like,
"This is harder than I thought."

610
00:41:37,570 --> 00:41:42,177
We're on this emotional roller coaster now
every time they send a referral.

611
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,223
And then a fifth referral
pops in my e-mail inbox.

612
00:41:46,246 --> 00:41:50,561
And I was like,
"Oh, no, here we go again."

613
00:41:50,584 --> 00:41:53,064
And this little girl pops up.

614
00:41:53,087 --> 00:41:58,403
And she has a worse medical condition
than some of the others.

615
00:41:58,426 --> 00:42:01,448
She was born
with a severe heart condition.

616
00:42:01,471 --> 00:42:03,743
Her mother
had wrapped her in a red blanket

617
00:42:03,766 --> 00:42:05,995
and had left her outside of a building

618
00:42:06,018 --> 00:42:10,958
with the hope that somebody would find her
and help her have her heart surgery.

619
00:42:10,981 --> 00:42:12,585
Jill and I looked at her,

620
00:42:12,608 --> 00:42:16,757
and for some reason,
this peace comes over both of us.

621
00:42:16,780 --> 00:42:20,344
And I was like,
"Why am I okay with helping this girl

622
00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:22,805
with her major medical heart condition,

623
00:42:22,828 --> 00:42:27,309
and I was struggling
with the girl that had a cleft palate?"

624
00:42:27,333 --> 00:42:30,396
And I looked at Jill,
and she said, "I like her."

625
00:42:30,419 --> 00:42:31,564
And I was like, "I do too.

626
00:42:31,587 --> 00:42:33,608
Something is right
about this little girl."

627
00:42:33,631 --> 00:42:35,653
I went over to a friend's house

628
00:42:35,676 --> 00:42:38,948
and showed her Mia's picture
and was talking about her.

629
00:42:38,971 --> 00:42:44,412
And she said,
"I can tell that you already love her."

630
00:42:44,435 --> 00:42:45,634
And I did.

631
00:42:48,856 --> 00:42:55,049
We looked on the adoption papers, and
it says that she was born on 2/14/2011.

632
00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:57,134
And I remember saying to Stephen:

633
00:42:57,157 --> 00:43:01,390
"She was born
on Valentine's Day with a broken heart."

634
00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:03,684
And so we contact the adoption agency,

635
00:43:03,707 --> 00:43:06,103
we said,
"We're gonna adopt this little girl."

636
00:43:06,126 --> 00:43:10,107
Jill said, "Hey, when did God
speak to your heart about adoption?"

637
00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:13,360
So I went back to my Bible,
and I opened it up.

638
00:43:13,384 --> 00:43:16,113
And right next to John 10:16
was the word "adoption."

639
00:43:16,136 --> 00:43:19,492
And then it was dated 2/14/2011.

640
00:43:19,515 --> 00:43:23,122
The same day that she was born in China

641
00:43:23,145 --> 00:43:26,249
was the same day God was speaking to me
on that airplane saying:

642
00:43:26,272 --> 00:43:30,109
"I want you to adopt this girl."

643
00:43:31,987 --> 00:43:35,759
I just remember
being so overwhelmed by God,

644
00:43:35,782 --> 00:43:41,297
because it was too precise
to be an accident.

645
00:43:44,209 --> 00:43:46,731
It was like the hair
on the back of my neck was standing up

646
00:43:46,754 --> 00:43:49,692
because there was
this awesome sense of God saying:

647
00:43:49,715 --> 00:43:53,447
"I was in you turning down
those first four referrals.

648
00:43:53,470 --> 00:43:55,741
I am in this situation,

649
00:43:55,764 --> 00:43:57,784
and I'm gonna teach you
something about Me,

650
00:43:57,807 --> 00:44:03,921
and I'm gonna be glorified
through this adoption."

651
00:44:08,569 --> 00:44:10,727
Oh, nice slippers.

652
00:44:11,155 --> 00:44:13,913
We're gonna go get Mia.

653
00:44:14,826 --> 00:44:16,931
We're in the Forbidden City.

654
00:44:16,954 --> 00:44:23,939
It's not really that forbidden.
I mean, there's people everywhere.

655
00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:26,441
We go to the orphanage.

656
00:44:26,464 --> 00:44:28,400
When we rounded the corner,

657
00:44:28,423 --> 00:44:31,989
she was the first child,
standing there waiting on us.

658
00:44:32,012 --> 00:44:34,867
I remember walking in the room in China

659
00:44:34,890 --> 00:44:36,702
and seeing Mia for the first time

660
00:44:36,725 --> 00:44:40,289
and she was scared
and didn't know who we were.

661
00:44:40,312 --> 00:44:41,707
We saw Mia's bed.

662
00:44:41,730 --> 00:44:45,128
We saw her condition.
She didn't have anything that she owned.

663
00:44:45,151 --> 00:44:46,672
God was allowing us

664
00:44:46,695 --> 00:44:50,175
to really rescue her
from a difficult future.

665
00:44:50,198 --> 00:44:52,386
We just finished
filling out all the paperwork,

666
00:44:52,410 --> 00:44:55,056
giving our thumbprints,
and now she's ours.

667
00:44:55,079 --> 00:44:57,477
And now she is ours.

668
00:44:59,584 --> 00:45:03,940
While we were in China with Mia,
she was... She started calling me Mama.

669
00:45:03,963 --> 00:45:07,987
-And she kept calling Stephen something.
-Yeah.

670
00:45:08,010 --> 00:45:14,364
And we found out later,
she was calling him Grandpa.

671
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:15,495
It's okay.

672
00:45:15,518 --> 00:45:18,123
Probably one
of the most difficult airplane flights

673
00:45:18,146 --> 00:45:21,501
I've ever been on in my life
was that 14-hour journey

674
00:45:21,524 --> 00:45:24,422
to fly from China
all the way to New York City

675
00:45:24,445 --> 00:45:27,592
with an orphan who's 2,
and doesn't know who you are,

676
00:45:27,615 --> 00:45:28,926
or why she's on an airplane.

677
00:45:28,949 --> 00:45:36,622
She was upset, and she was surrounded
by new things constantly.

678
00:45:36,791 --> 00:45:39,188
She doesn't know who she is.

679
00:45:39,211 --> 00:45:41,857
She doesn't know
she's Mia Elizabeth Kendrick.

680
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:47,363
She doesn't know that we are taking her
to a very loving, safe home.

681
00:45:47,386 --> 00:45:50,033
She doesn't know that I'm her daddy now.

682
00:45:50,056 --> 00:45:56,040
So many kids that are in orphanages
have never experienced a mom and a dad

683
00:45:56,063 --> 00:46:03,736
that are attentive to their needs,
and it can be an adjustment.

684
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,848
Sometimes she would wake up
in the middle of the night crying,

685
00:46:11,871 --> 00:46:12,766
just terrified.

686
00:46:12,789 --> 00:46:15,394
Sometimes she would hold on to food

687
00:46:15,417 --> 00:46:21,902
like she didn't have any other provision
after that meal or something.

688
00:46:21,925 --> 00:46:26,073
We saw her whole personality
transform over the next few weeks,

689
00:46:26,096 --> 00:46:28,854
to go from fear to joy.

690
00:46:29,182 --> 00:46:33,080
We have watched Mia bloom in our home.

691
00:46:33,103 --> 00:46:34,122
Say "Hi, Mia."

692
00:46:34,145 --> 00:46:35,104
Hi, Mia.

693
00:46:38,317 --> 00:46:42,883
Didn't have anything to do with her,
even though she was super cute.

694
00:46:42,906 --> 00:46:48,805
We just chose to love her
and make her a part of our family.

695
00:46:48,828 --> 00:46:51,308
And I know that God does that for us too.

696
00:46:51,331 --> 00:46:54,328
He's set His heart on us.

697
00:46:56,086 --> 00:47:02,195
God has given me such a love for her
that is equal to my other children.

698
00:47:02,218 --> 00:47:04,824
I don't want anything bad
to happen to her.

699
00:47:04,847 --> 00:47:08,870
I wanna protect her,
provide for her, take care of her.

700
00:47:08,893 --> 00:47:13,000
She is our sunshine.
I call her "Sunshine."

701
00:47:13,023 --> 00:47:17,171
She smiles very easily and is a joy.

702
00:47:17,194 --> 00:47:19,506
She doesn't meet a stranger.

703
00:47:19,529 --> 00:47:24,303
My name is Mia Kendrick,
and I was born in China.

704
00:47:24,326 --> 00:47:31,477
Mia is our loudest, most extrovert child,
of all of our six children now.

705
00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:35,107
We had another biological daughter
after we adopted Mia.

706
00:47:35,130 --> 00:47:37,066
They are two peas in a pod,
playing together,

707
00:47:37,089 --> 00:47:39,528
laughing together every day.

708
00:47:39,551 --> 00:47:44,117
When I come home from work now,
Mia is the first one to run to the door,

709
00:47:44,140 --> 00:47:45,535
and want to be hugged.

710
00:47:45,558 --> 00:47:51,192
Everything is just twice
as exciting with her.

711
00:47:54,317 --> 00:47:59,300
So while she was in China,
she had an initial life-saving surgery.

712
00:47:59,323 --> 00:48:02,763
But we knew that she was gonna need
another major surgery

713
00:48:02,786 --> 00:48:05,849
when she got back to the States,
or she would not survive long-term.

714
00:48:05,872 --> 00:48:11,987
The right side of her heart
doesn't work properly.

715
00:48:12,128 --> 00:48:17,883
Her mother
likely gave her up to save her life.

716
00:48:18,803 --> 00:48:22,951
In the spring of 2019,
Mia had another major heart surgery

717
00:48:22,974 --> 00:48:26,038
that really saved her life for the future.

718
00:48:26,061 --> 00:48:29,291
I really had a peace
going into the surgery.

719
00:48:29,314 --> 00:48:31,877
I thought she's gonna do great.

720
00:48:31,900 --> 00:48:33,579
Stephen cried.

721
00:48:34,237 --> 00:48:35,590
The doctors pushed her back.

722
00:48:35,613 --> 00:48:38,426
And I stood there in the hospital lobby

723
00:48:38,449 --> 00:48:46,122
and just wept, thinking, "God, I want you
to take care of my little girl."

724
00:48:46,458 --> 00:48:48,396
And she came out with flying colors.

725
00:48:48,419 --> 00:48:50,691
Everything went so well.

726
00:48:50,714 --> 00:48:53,568
She has half a heart
that is functioning now,

727
00:48:53,591 --> 00:48:57,155
but she is positioned
to have long-term health

728
00:48:57,178 --> 00:49:01,493
because of the surgeries that she's had.

729
00:49:01,516 --> 00:49:05,455
We saw her go
from huffing and puffing over a short walk

730
00:49:05,479 --> 00:49:10,003
to being able to beat me in a bike race
on the road after the surgeries.

731
00:49:10,026 --> 00:49:12,903
It really is incredible.

732
00:49:27,253 --> 00:49:29,065
Through this journey with Mia,

733
00:49:29,088 --> 00:49:32,820
my eyes began to open
to our spiritual adoption.

734
00:49:32,843 --> 00:49:35,907
Scripture communicates
that God doesn't just forgive us.

735
00:49:35,930 --> 00:49:38,409
He didn't just send Jesus
to pay for our sins,

736
00:49:38,432 --> 00:49:41,495
but He wants to adopt us into His family.

737
00:49:41,518 --> 00:49:43,748
And this whole parallel of adoption

738
00:49:43,771 --> 00:49:48,462
began to deepen
my understanding of God as our Father.

739
00:49:48,485 --> 00:49:52,884
God has put a hole in our hearts
that's in the shape of a father.

740
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:57,822
And we are longing for that to be filled.

741
00:49:58,037 --> 00:50:02,852
There are so many people,
I believe, in churches who believe in God,

742
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:05,522
but they don't know who they are.

743
00:50:05,545 --> 00:50:09,902
They don't know
who their Heavenly Father is.

744
00:50:09,925 --> 00:50:14,407
They don't know
that God's plans for them are good.

745
00:50:14,430 --> 00:50:18,266
They are the functional orphans.

746
00:50:18,643 --> 00:50:23,918
God has a heart
for the orphans. He cares about them.

747
00:50:23,941 --> 00:50:26,629
He has compassion on them.

748
00:50:26,652 --> 00:50:31,175
And that's what He thinks
about you. He cares about you.

749
00:50:31,198 --> 00:50:33,476
He's a good father.

750
00:50:34,286 --> 00:50:36,973
He will take care of you.

751
00:50:36,996 --> 00:50:39,768
He loved you through His Son.

752
00:50:39,791 --> 00:50:42,938
He sent Jesus to come to die for you,

753
00:50:42,961 --> 00:50:46,900
the greatest sacrifice
to meet your greatest need.

754
00:50:46,923 --> 00:50:54,034
God didn't just create fatherhood,
God is a father, and He loves you.

755
00:50:54,057 --> 00:50:58,664
This is one of the greatest expressions
of God's love.

756
00:50:58,687 --> 00:50:59,766
Adoption.

757
00:51:12,118 --> 00:51:15,224
Jesus said He wants us to have

758
00:51:15,247 --> 00:51:21,121
the same relationship
to His father that He has.

759
00:51:21,170 --> 00:51:25,944
So now we've been invited
as brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ

760
00:51:25,967 --> 00:51:28,947
into a whole new family experience.

761
00:51:28,970 --> 00:51:33,036
So the characteristics of love
and patience and kindness and goodness

762
00:51:33,059 --> 00:51:37,623
and faithfulness, all these things that
originated with God are in Jesus Christ.

763
00:51:37,646 --> 00:51:42,462
And because Jesus is that link
between a sinful man, of which we all are,

764
00:51:42,485 --> 00:51:45,673
and a Holy God,
He is that bridge, He is that link.

765
00:51:45,696 --> 00:51:47,468
Then when I get to know Jesus,

766
00:51:47,491 --> 00:51:49,470
that's my pathway
to get to know the Father.

767
00:51:49,493 --> 00:51:55,392
Anyone, anywhere,
at any place, can turn to Christ

768
00:51:55,415 --> 00:51:59,439
and experience the love of the Father
by placing their faith in Jesus.

769
00:51:59,462 --> 00:52:02,150
When the light bulb goes on,

770
00:52:02,173 --> 00:52:06,364
and they repent of their sins
and place their faith in Christ,

771
00:52:06,387 --> 00:52:08,616
everything changes for them.

772
00:52:08,639 --> 00:52:15,374
He says, "Your identity now is that
you are unconditionally loved by Me.

773
00:52:15,397 --> 00:52:22,111
That's who you are,
and nothing will ever change that."

774
00:52:26,700 --> 00:52:30,848
When it comes to us
ministering in difficult circumstances,

775
00:52:30,871 --> 00:52:33,184
making movies
that we had never been trained to do...

776
00:52:33,207 --> 00:52:34,228
And action.

777
00:52:34,251 --> 00:52:38,106
...the thought never crossed our minds,
"This is too hard, can't be done."

778
00:52:38,130 --> 00:52:41,777
We'd watched our dad
do things that were extremely hard,

779
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:48,827
that shouldn't have been able
to be done, and him still do it.

780
00:52:48,850 --> 00:52:56,283
When I was 42 years old,
I started losing my ability to walk.

781
00:52:57,191 --> 00:52:59,881
So, ultimately, I went into the hospital,

782
00:52:59,904 --> 00:53:07,577
and they did more tests and came back
and said that you have multiple sclerosis.

783
00:53:11,708 --> 00:53:17,650
He sent me out with what I saw
was no hope, no cure, nothing to do.

784
00:53:17,673 --> 00:53:24,866
Just cut your legs out from under you
and leave you to bleed to death.

785
00:53:24,889 --> 00:53:29,914
I had the sons at home, and the
mortgage payment and the car payment.

786
00:53:29,937 --> 00:53:33,292
And very little, if any,
in our savings account.

787
00:53:33,315 --> 00:53:39,070
So I spent 16 months
in the pits of depression.

788
00:53:44,118 --> 00:53:47,600
-Alex, this Sunday is Father's Day.
-This Sunday is Father's Day, yeah.

789
00:53:47,623 --> 00:53:50,978
And so I can't think
of anyone better right now to talk about

790
00:53:51,001 --> 00:53:52,313
than our dad, Larry Kendrick.

791
00:53:52,336 --> 00:53:56,360
And how he influenced
every movie we've ever done.

792
00:53:56,383 --> 00:53:59,988
It's amazing to see how much our father
has affected our lives.

793
00:54:00,011 --> 00:54:07,684
We put a representation of our father,
Larry Kendrick, in all of our movies.

794
00:54:09,689 --> 00:54:13,503
There's no way that we could have told
the stories we've told

795
00:54:13,526 --> 00:54:16,005
in the manner we did
without our father's influence.

796
00:54:16,029 --> 00:54:20,553
I don't feel like I started well.
I wanna finish well.

797
00:54:20,576 --> 00:54:25,349
To whatever degree we have been able
to influence people or inspire people

798
00:54:25,372 --> 00:54:26,475
or minister to them...

799
00:54:26,498 --> 00:54:29,975
That's my dad! That's my dad!

800
00:54:30,044 --> 00:54:34,480
...we share that credit with our dad.

801
00:54:39,471 --> 00:54:41,909
You usually need
to feel some sense of love

802
00:54:41,932 --> 00:54:44,371
from your earthly father
before you begin to understand

803
00:54:44,394 --> 00:54:47,374
and believe
that your Heavenly Father loves you.

804
00:54:47,397 --> 00:54:50,877
Our grandfather
had been so wounded by his own father

805
00:54:50,900 --> 00:54:56,134
that when he grew up, he struggled
with verbalizing love to his own children.

806
00:54:56,157 --> 00:54:58,761
When I think about my dad,

807
00:54:58,784 --> 00:55:02,432
a lot of times,
I was really embarrassed by him.

808
00:55:02,455 --> 00:55:04,809
My dad was 7 feet tall.

809
00:55:04,832 --> 00:55:10,733
Nobody gave him any real trouble
because he was just too big.

810
00:55:10,756 --> 00:55:15,780
With Daddy drinking
and losing jobs and in and out,

811
00:55:15,803 --> 00:55:19,618
when he would get home,
he would be intoxicated.

812
00:55:19,641 --> 00:55:24,497
And so, my earliest years,
I didn't have a father

813
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:29,879
in the sense
that he was loving, nurturing, dependable.

814
00:55:29,902 --> 00:55:33,926
I guess I would say he was insecure.

815
00:55:33,949 --> 00:55:37,803
He had made mistakes.
He'd gotten on the wrong track.

816
00:55:37,827 --> 00:55:43,602
In his later life, he knew the Lord
and was walking with the Lord.

817
00:55:43,625 --> 00:55:48,483
But in his earlier life, my grandfather
was a very different person.

818
00:55:48,506 --> 00:55:53,279
I never felt
I had any real guidance from him

819
00:55:53,302 --> 00:55:57,993
in the sense
of how to find my way through life.

820
00:55:58,016 --> 00:56:00,996
Even as we were growing up,

821
00:56:01,019 --> 00:56:03,374
Dad was dealing with all kinds of issues,

822
00:56:03,397 --> 00:56:07,587
but he was shielding us
from his own internal struggles

823
00:56:07,610 --> 00:56:09,839
and battles and fears
that he was dealing with.

824
00:56:09,862 --> 00:56:13,551
We didn't realize the war
that was going on inside of him.

825
00:56:13,574 --> 00:56:17,765
The Enemy started using
this prognosis of multiple sclerosis

826
00:56:17,788 --> 00:56:23,062
along with his own identity issues
to just spiral that into depression.

827
00:56:23,085 --> 00:56:25,483
And I said, "Lord...

828
00:56:26,756 --> 00:56:32,115
I have been wishing that You
had just taken me out of this world."

829
00:56:32,138 --> 00:56:37,053
I had been wishing that I could just die.

830
00:56:37,435 --> 00:56:38,705
He had it out with God.

831
00:56:38,728 --> 00:56:43,210
He went into my brother's bedroom
and told God, "I'm not doing this.

832
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:46,380
Either You're gonna heal me,
or You're gonna take me home.

833
00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:49,758
But I'm not gonna live in misery here
and drag my family down with me."

834
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:54,722
He basically threw himself
at the feet of Jesus.

835
00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:58,518
"Our Father which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

836
00:56:58,541 --> 00:57:03,983
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven."

837
00:57:04,006 --> 00:57:07,612
Why would God ask you to pray that prayer

838
00:57:07,635 --> 00:57:13,200
if He didn't want you to believe
this could be true on earth?

839
00:57:13,223 --> 00:57:15,621
And I said, "Lord...

840
00:57:15,726 --> 00:57:18,832
for all this time
that I've been so fearful,

841
00:57:18,855 --> 00:57:20,893
not trusting You,

842
00:57:21,066 --> 00:57:24,663
I'm asking You to forgive me."

843
00:57:25,112 --> 00:57:29,068
It's like the light came through.

844
00:57:29,158 --> 00:57:30,717
And I wept...

845
00:57:32,829 --> 00:57:36,267
till I couldn't weep anymore.

846
00:57:36,290 --> 00:57:39,688
The Lord flipped the light back on
and he realized

847
00:57:39,711 --> 00:57:42,816
that God is a loving father,
and He does love me.

848
00:57:42,839 --> 00:57:48,198
And that revelation
of the heart of his Heavenly Father

849
00:57:48,221 --> 00:57:53,856
was really what brought dad
out of depression.

850
00:58:04,114 --> 00:58:06,425
You know, in the Sermon on the Mount,

851
00:58:06,448 --> 00:58:09,346
Jesus uses the word "father"
over and over.

852
00:58:09,369 --> 00:58:11,140
"Our Father who art in heaven."

853
00:58:11,163 --> 00:58:14,601
He says, "The Father
gives good gifts to the children."

854
00:58:14,624 --> 00:58:20,066
He says, "If you forgive others,
your Father will forgive you."

855
00:58:20,089 --> 00:58:25,155
He says, "But your Heavenly Father
knows what you have need of."

856
00:58:25,178 --> 00:58:28,784
All of this is in the Sermon on the Mount.
"Father, father, father."

857
00:58:28,807 --> 00:58:33,872
What we do is we transfer that
to say, "God, God, God."

858
00:58:33,895 --> 00:58:38,962
And so we go back to Elohim,
this Creator that's way out there,

859
00:58:38,985 --> 00:58:42,942
not Father, who is close in here.

860
00:58:43,323 --> 00:58:47,888
I think it's so important for people,
after they've given their life to Jesus,

861
00:58:47,911 --> 00:58:49,974
to begin to go on a journey and say,

862
00:58:49,997 --> 00:58:53,645
"Father, would You reveal yourself,
Your heart, to me?

863
00:58:53,668 --> 00:58:55,438
Would You show me who I am?

864
00:58:55,461 --> 00:58:57,357
Would You show Your love for me

865
00:58:57,380 --> 00:59:00,737
so that I function
in this relationship with You?"

866
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,738
Just because Jesus is your Lord

867
00:59:02,761 --> 00:59:05,574
doesn't mean you're relating well
to God as your Father.

868
00:59:05,597 --> 00:59:08,494
If you're not believing
He's gonna answer your prayers,

869
00:59:08,517 --> 00:59:10,079
if you don't believe He loves you,

870
00:59:10,102 --> 00:59:13,249
if you don't believe
that His heart is for you,

871
00:59:13,272 --> 00:59:16,044
then you need to start
seeking God as Father,

872
00:59:16,067 --> 00:59:17,713
relating to Him as Father,

873
00:59:17,736 --> 00:59:19,381
reading what His Word says

874
00:59:19,404 --> 00:59:22,593
about His perfect role
as your Father in Heaven

875
00:59:22,616 --> 00:59:25,763
and ask God
to reveal to your heart who He is,

876
00:59:25,786 --> 00:59:29,863
and how He wants to relate to you.

877
00:59:31,042 --> 00:59:34,857
Nice. Set, go. Feet, feet, feet.

878
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:35,775
Step on it.

879
00:59:35,798 --> 00:59:39,028
Set, go. Feet, feet, feet. Get going!

880
00:59:39,051 --> 00:59:43,617
There's a definite parallel
with coaching and fathering.

881
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,160
The beauty of it, for me, is with my sons,

882
00:59:46,183 --> 00:59:49,081
I get to do it on a more consistent basis

883
00:59:49,104 --> 00:59:52,501
and be able to reinforce
that coaching and that fathering.

884
00:59:52,524 --> 00:59:56,296
Their circumstances are gonna be
way better than what mine was,

885
00:59:56,319 --> 00:59:58,508
as far as me in their life.

886
00:59:58,531 --> 01:00:04,766
I want these guys
to have everything I didn't have.

887
01:00:07,499 --> 01:00:11,147
I would get asked about family history,
and I'm like, "Man..."

888
01:00:11,170 --> 01:00:15,776
I didn't have any answers
because I didn't know.

889
01:00:15,799 --> 01:00:20,116
My adoptive mom,
she would say to me, every few years,

890
01:00:20,139 --> 01:00:24,662
"If you're ever interested in finding out
who your biological family is,

891
01:00:24,685 --> 01:00:26,706
I don't have a problem with that."

892
01:00:26,729 --> 01:00:29,750
I told him all the facts I had.

893
01:00:29,773 --> 01:00:33,422
We knew he was born in Pennsylvania.

894
01:00:33,445 --> 01:00:35,965
They said the mother was 16 years old,

895
01:00:35,988 --> 01:00:40,429
that her parents
wanted her to finish school.

896
01:00:40,452 --> 01:00:45,184
Just hearing that, after 30-some years,
that was strong for me at that time.

897
01:00:45,207 --> 01:00:48,479
I said, "I wanna find out."
Now, it's like a mystery.

898
01:00:48,502 --> 01:00:51,274
Like "Wow, you done
gave me a couple crumbs,

899
01:00:51,297 --> 01:00:56,692
I wanna go
and see what's up with this now."

900
01:00:56,887 --> 01:00:59,409
I got all the paperwork.

901
01:00:59,432 --> 01:01:01,286
It was called your original birth record.

902
01:01:01,309 --> 01:01:04,122
It was almost like
an original birth certificate.

903
01:01:04,145 --> 01:01:06,082
So I opened up this one sheet of paper.

904
01:01:06,105 --> 01:01:11,630
And there it was. It said, you know,
"Birth name, Jon Kenneth Briggs."

905
01:01:11,653 --> 01:01:17,386
It had my mom's name on there,
Carol Denise Briggs, and she was 16.

906
01:01:17,409 --> 01:01:20,766
It didn't have a dad's name.

907
01:01:24,584 --> 01:01:30,359
So I ended up finding
a person named Carol Denise Briggs.

908
01:01:30,382 --> 01:01:36,783
And I'm looking on her
Facebook page, so I sent her a message.

909
01:01:36,806 --> 01:01:41,412
I get home from work
at about 5:00, unmute my phone.

910
01:01:41,435 --> 01:01:49,108
First thing I see, "Did you have
a baby in 1972 in Allegheny County?"

911
01:01:49,152 --> 01:01:53,050
I'm stunned. Obviously, I'm stunned.

912
01:01:53,073 --> 01:01:55,711
She sends back, "Yes."

913
01:01:55,909 --> 01:02:00,141
I'm like, "Okay, I'm in. I gotta
see where this is gonna go. I'm in."

914
01:02:00,164 --> 01:02:03,641
"What did you name the baby?"

915
01:02:05,212 --> 01:02:07,358
And she sent back, "Not Deland."

916
01:02:07,381 --> 01:02:09,026
I kind of laughed.

917
01:02:09,049 --> 01:02:11,737
I said, "I understand.
What did you name the baby?"

918
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:15,033
She said, "Jon."
I was like, "Oh, man, this is her."

919
01:02:15,056 --> 01:02:16,660
While I'm waiting for him to call,

920
01:02:16,683 --> 01:02:20,080
I am all over the Internet
looking this guy up.

921
01:02:20,103 --> 01:02:25,003
It's just page after page after
page of stuff about Deland McCullough.

922
01:02:25,026 --> 01:02:27,964
And I'm like,
"Okay, this might be a real guy.

923
01:02:27,987 --> 01:02:31,467
This isn't a fake.
He's real. He's really out there.

924
01:02:31,490 --> 01:02:34,248
And this is really him.

925
01:02:34,411 --> 01:02:35,931
This is really him."

926
01:02:35,954 --> 01:02:36,913
So...

927
01:02:38,290 --> 01:02:42,126
So by the time he calls me back,

928
01:02:42,878 --> 01:02:45,984
okay, I'm... I'm kind of a mess by then.

929
01:02:46,007 --> 01:02:47,235
It's a great conversation.

930
01:02:47,258 --> 01:02:49,487
It's like, we've known each other forever.

931
01:02:49,510 --> 01:02:53,586
And he says, "I'm Jon, obviously."

932
01:02:54,558 --> 01:02:56,078
And she says she's in Youngstown.

933
01:02:56,101 --> 01:02:58,914
And I said,
"Well, that's where I grew up.

934
01:02:58,937 --> 01:03:00,583
How did you end up in Pennsylvania?"

935
01:03:00,606 --> 01:03:03,294
She explained to me
how things were different.

936
01:03:03,317 --> 01:03:09,718
You know, and her parents
had sent her there to have me.

937
01:03:09,741 --> 01:03:13,473
My mom found out I was pregnant
like on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

938
01:03:13,496 --> 01:03:16,267
And that Saturday,
I was on my way to Pittsburgh.

939
01:03:16,290 --> 01:03:18,186
It's a big deal to have a baby.

940
01:03:18,209 --> 01:03:21,857
And I knew that
I wasn't prepared to be anybody's mom.

941
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:26,236
And I didn't have
any negative feelings about my decision

942
01:03:26,259 --> 01:03:27,446
to place him for adoption

943
01:03:27,469 --> 01:03:32,577
because I knew
that I was doing the right thing for him.

944
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,705
I thought about Jon all the time.

945
01:03:35,728 --> 01:03:39,542
Every December the 1st,
from the day I joined Facebook,

946
01:03:39,565 --> 01:03:42,587
I put a message out,
"Happy Birthday, Jon Kenneth,

947
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:44,173
wherever you are."

948
01:03:44,196 --> 01:03:47,885
When he started sending me
all these pictures of his children,

949
01:03:47,908 --> 01:03:50,721
you know, he's got
these four beautiful boys

950
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:54,268
and my daughter-in-law
is just drop-dead gorgeous.

951
01:03:54,291 --> 01:04:00,274
I'm like, "Man, how lucky
can I be to have this happen to me?"

952
01:04:00,297 --> 01:04:02,485
You know, he's just fabulous.

953
01:04:02,508 --> 01:04:03,944
And he's so handsome.

954
01:04:03,967 --> 01:04:11,640
And I'm thinking, "Well, this is just
more than I could have even imagined."

955
01:04:13,894 --> 01:04:16,041
So when he heard
I was from Youngstown, he says,

956
01:04:16,064 --> 01:04:19,795
"Oh, well, do I have
any brothers and sisters?"

957
01:04:19,818 --> 01:04:23,633
And she said, "I never got married,
never had any more kids."

958
01:04:23,656 --> 01:04:27,852
Then he says, "Well, who's my dad?"

959
01:04:29,287 --> 01:04:33,727
I tell him his father's name
and I can kind of hear him catch...

960
01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:37,227
I hear a catch in his throat.

961
01:04:37,504 --> 01:04:42,820
Because I had a super emotional
moment at that point, you know.

962
01:04:42,843 --> 01:04:45,281
And she was like, "What?"
She's like, "What's wrong?"

963
01:04:45,304 --> 01:04:48,302
I said, "Oh, I know him."

964
01:04:53,439 --> 01:05:00,272
He says, "Well, I've known
Sherman Smith my whole life."

965
01:05:03,992 --> 01:05:07,014
He's been my mentor,
I've been in contact with Coach Smith

966
01:05:07,037 --> 01:05:10,874
for the last 20-something years.

967
01:05:12,250 --> 01:05:13,520
I said, "Well, did he know?"

968
01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:15,230
She said, "Well, he knew nothing."

969
01:05:15,253 --> 01:05:17,817
She said, "He was off
at Miami when you were born.

970
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:19,653
It's one of those things that happened."

971
01:05:19,676 --> 01:05:24,199
She said, "But I never told him.
He never even knew I was pregnant."

972
01:05:24,222 --> 01:05:27,328
So, my wife had knew
that I talked to my mom.

973
01:05:27,351 --> 01:05:30,122
I said, "I found out who my dad is."

974
01:05:30,145 --> 01:05:32,063
She said, "Who?"

975
01:05:33,108 --> 01:05:35,712
I said, "Sherman Smith." My wife lost it.

976
01:05:35,735 --> 01:05:38,013
I was like, "What?"

977
01:05:38,238 --> 01:05:40,801
I mean, I was so loud.

978
01:05:40,824 --> 01:05:44,305
How in the world could you
have been around your father

979
01:05:44,328 --> 01:05:49,123
for this many years, and not have known?

980
01:05:49,792 --> 01:05:52,022
The next day, he texts me at work.

981
01:05:52,045 --> 01:05:54,858
He says, "Can I tell my dad?"

982
01:05:54,881 --> 01:05:59,796
And I'm like, "Absolutely, you tell him."

983
01:06:02,724 --> 01:06:06,246
So I get on the phone.
"Hey, Deland. What's going on?"

984
01:06:06,269 --> 01:06:11,334
I said, "Yeah, not too much."
So, we just started talking.

985
01:06:11,357 --> 01:06:14,212
You know, he's talking about,
"Well, hey, you know I'm adopted."

986
01:06:14,235 --> 01:06:15,547
"Yeah, man, I know."

987
01:06:15,570 --> 01:06:19,136
And he said, "You know, I started the
process to find my biological parents."

988
01:06:19,159 --> 01:06:22,471
I said, "Man, that's great to hear."
"I got my original birth certificate."

989
01:06:22,494 --> 01:06:25,225
"Man, that is great. I'm excited for you."

990
01:06:25,248 --> 01:06:28,395
He said, "And I found my biological mom."

991
01:06:28,418 --> 01:06:29,563
"Man, God is good."

992
01:06:29,586 --> 01:06:32,149
He's running down Bible verses.
He hitting me...

993
01:06:32,172 --> 01:06:35,278
I said, "I hear you,
but there's a little bit more."

994
01:06:35,301 --> 01:06:37,613
This story's getting better, you know?

995
01:06:37,636 --> 01:06:38,740
And I'm excited for him.

996
01:06:38,763 --> 01:06:39,949
And then he said her name,

997
01:06:39,972 --> 01:06:43,995
and when he said
her name, my heart dropped.

998
01:06:44,018 --> 01:06:45,217
"Oh, man."

999
01:06:46,146 --> 01:06:49,585
And before that sunk in,
he said, "I asked her who my father was,

1000
01:06:49,608 --> 01:06:52,366
and she said it's you."

1001
01:06:52,402 --> 01:06:56,239
And it was like a bomb went off.

1002
01:06:57,075 --> 01:07:01,514
And he was silent for a couple of seconds.

1003
01:07:01,537 --> 01:07:04,392
And then he started like mumbling.

1004
01:07:04,415 --> 01:07:06,562
Coach Smith, he don't mumble now.

1005
01:07:06,585 --> 01:07:08,314
He's a very articulate guy.

1006
01:07:08,337 --> 01:07:11,943
I was mumbling.
"What are you talking about?"

1007
01:07:11,966 --> 01:07:18,200
I knew I knew Carol.
I knew I knew her in that way.

1008
01:07:18,515 --> 01:07:21,787
After a few minutes,
I said, "I need to call you back.

1009
01:07:21,810 --> 01:07:24,688
I need to process this."

1010
01:07:27,608 --> 01:07:29,504
It shook me. That was a...

1011
01:07:29,527 --> 01:07:35,043
I didn't expect that.
It caught me off guard.

1012
01:07:36,535 --> 01:07:42,644
The fact that I knew Deland made
it harder, because this is a great guy.

1013
01:07:42,667 --> 01:07:46,731
This young man grew up
without a father in his life.

1014
01:07:46,754 --> 01:07:50,235
He didn't have what I had because of me,

1015
01:07:50,258 --> 01:07:53,531
because of being irresponsible.

1016
01:07:53,554 --> 01:07:56,951
I said, "Deland,
I know that Carol is sure,

1017
01:07:56,974 --> 01:07:59,370
but I wanna be sure."

1018
01:07:59,393 --> 01:08:01,205
So Deland said, "Let's do a DNA test."

1019
01:08:01,228 --> 01:08:06,263
I said, "Absolutely, let's do a DNA test."

1020
01:08:07,777 --> 01:08:11,092
I woke up one morning and you know,
humility is not thinking less of yourself.

1021
01:08:11,115 --> 01:08:14,386
It's thinking of yourself less.

1022
01:08:14,409 --> 01:08:18,099
God spoke to my heart and said,
"Stop thinking about yourself."

1023
01:08:18,122 --> 01:08:21,060
Then, I just started looking back
to how God connected the dots.

1024
01:08:21,083 --> 01:08:26,442
I go back to, you know, if I don't
recruit him, I don't get to know him.

1025
01:08:26,465 --> 01:08:30,654
I've been in his life,
not in his life like a father should be.

1026
01:08:30,677 --> 01:08:34,701
Deland told me,
he said, "You were in my life."

1027
01:08:34,724 --> 01:08:36,493
So the paternity test came back.

1028
01:08:36,516 --> 01:08:39,039
My heart started beating.

1029
01:08:39,062 --> 01:08:45,338
When I opened it, I was like...
My hands were shaking when I read it.

1030
01:08:45,361 --> 01:08:47,923
It says a 99.99 percent chance

1031
01:08:47,946 --> 01:08:52,178
that I'm his father, my wife,
Sharon, is jumping up and down screaming.

1032
01:08:52,201 --> 01:08:55,181
Like I was at a sporting event

1033
01:08:55,204 --> 01:08:59,686
at a football game
because I was just thrilled.

1034
01:08:59,709 --> 01:09:02,826
I was absolutely thrilled.

1035
01:09:06,300 --> 01:09:08,071
I definitely was all in.

1036
01:09:08,094 --> 01:09:12,868
I would have been devastated
had they came back any other way.

1037
01:09:12,891 --> 01:09:16,997
I had already began
to bond with Deland and his family.

1038
01:09:17,020 --> 01:09:20,626
It just was all a dream come true.

1039
01:09:20,649 --> 01:09:23,671
It's a 99.9 percent chance.

1040
01:09:23,694 --> 01:09:27,217
You know, my dad
called in, he's like, "Here we go."

1041
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,762
You could hear it in his voice.
He was, "Let's do it."

1042
01:09:30,785 --> 01:09:35,821
You know, everything was on at that point.

1043
01:09:38,419 --> 01:09:40,022
And I go to Tennessee.

1044
01:09:40,045 --> 01:09:43,360
My dad knew I was coming, of course.

1045
01:09:43,383 --> 01:09:46,238
As I'm coming
around the corner up to his house,

1046
01:09:46,261 --> 01:09:48,699
I kind of pulled
right there on the side of the street.

1047
01:09:48,722 --> 01:09:54,205
I was kind of sitting in the car,
trying to gather my thoughts.

1048
01:09:54,228 --> 01:09:56,207
He was sitting there
for about five minutes,

1049
01:09:56,230 --> 01:09:57,374
I was looking for him.

1050
01:09:57,397 --> 01:10:00,253
And he was sitting there,
then finally he pulls up in the driveway

1051
01:10:00,276 --> 01:10:02,194
and he walks up.

1052
01:10:02,696 --> 01:10:07,928
It ain't like I've never seen Coach Smith
before, but this is different now.

1053
01:10:07,951 --> 01:10:13,600
I got out and, you know,
walked up to the... to the door.

1054
01:10:13,623 --> 01:10:17,647
And I opened the door
and opened up my arms

1055
01:10:17,670 --> 01:10:22,106
and I said, "My son," and hugged him.

1056
01:10:25,971 --> 01:10:30,494
I'd never heard
that before from a father figure.

1057
01:10:30,517 --> 01:10:31,746
I'll never forget that.

1058
01:10:31,769 --> 01:10:36,084
I'll never forget the wave of emotion
that went through me when he said that.

1059
01:10:36,107 --> 01:10:37,502
I don't have any words for it.

1060
01:10:37,525 --> 01:10:42,049
It just was like something
that I wanted for so long.

1061
01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:47,707
I never have been
referred to that by any man.

1062
01:10:47,995 --> 01:10:51,601
The strength of the way
he said it and the conviction in it,

1063
01:10:51,624 --> 01:10:55,105
and the fact that it was true, you know.

1064
01:10:55,128 --> 01:10:58,964
That's my son. I'm proud of him.

1065
01:11:01,927 --> 01:11:03,531
I found my dad.

1066
01:11:03,554 --> 01:11:06,551
You know, I found my dad.

1067
01:11:10,687 --> 01:11:12,875
I didn't know what a dad
was supposed to look like.

1068
01:11:12,898 --> 01:11:16,462
And then to find out
that my dad was Sherman Smith,

1069
01:11:16,485 --> 01:11:18,464
who I've been around enough to know,

1070
01:11:18,487 --> 01:11:22,083
I just felt extremely blessed.

1071
01:11:22,826 --> 01:11:24,805
When he says, "My dad,"

1072
01:11:24,828 --> 01:11:28,767
there's such joy and happiness
that he can call Sherman "Dad."

1073
01:11:28,790 --> 01:11:31,938
But now, "That's my dad. That's my dad."

1074
01:11:31,961 --> 01:11:33,040
You know?

1075
01:11:33,545 --> 01:11:38,820
Every time Deland is around Sherman,
you say Sherman's name, the biggest,

1076
01:11:38,843 --> 01:11:44,326
cheesiest grin comes up
on his face that's just amazing to me.

1077
01:11:44,349 --> 01:11:46,036
And I remember catching myself,

1078
01:11:46,059 --> 01:11:48,455
and thinking to myself,
"Darnell, don't stare."

1079
01:11:48,478 --> 01:11:52,335
Because I remember staring
at him and like listening to him talk.

1080
01:11:52,358 --> 01:11:55,171
And I remember
he was chewing on a straw or something.

1081
01:11:55,194 --> 01:12:02,867
I'm like, "Oh, my goodness. Deland
chews on straws all day, every day."

1082
01:12:08,459 --> 01:12:11,648
When I found out you was my dad,
man, it was like I hit the lottery.

1083
01:12:11,671 --> 01:12:15,944
You know, I just was so excited
that you were my father.

1084
01:12:15,967 --> 01:12:19,031
It was just such an unbelievable blessing.

1085
01:12:19,054 --> 01:12:21,159
God can take a mess
and make a miracle out of it.

1086
01:12:21,182 --> 01:12:22,743
That's what He did.

1087
01:12:22,766 --> 01:12:25,163
I always say
this is a story for God's glory.

1088
01:12:25,186 --> 01:12:26,956
I've always respected you and loved you

1089
01:12:26,979 --> 01:12:29,751
and so now to say you're my son,
what a blessing to me.

1090
01:12:29,774 --> 01:12:35,466
It's only love of God
that got me to this point.

1091
01:12:35,489 --> 01:12:37,634
I don't even use the word "luck."
"I'm lucky." No.

1092
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:39,094
I feel like luck can run out.

1093
01:12:39,117 --> 01:12:41,598
You know, the love you have from God,

1094
01:12:41,621 --> 01:12:47,495
I ain't never felt
like I ran out of God's love.

1095
01:12:48,294 --> 01:12:52,970
Man, I'm telling you, I'm blessed, man.

1096
01:13:08,692 --> 01:13:13,966
I love to tell men
that it ain't over 'til it's over.

1097
01:13:13,989 --> 01:13:18,471
And your kids may be grown
and gone, and you may have already failed.

1098
01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:20,973
But God has a way of...
He has a tracking system.

1099
01:13:20,996 --> 01:13:25,437
He got a GPS,
so God knows how to turn things around

1100
01:13:25,460 --> 01:13:32,194
when men are willing to repent,
that is the decision and determination

1101
01:13:32,217 --> 01:13:34,572
to turn from sin and turn to Him.

1102
01:13:34,595 --> 01:13:38,118
Then God can kick in
and He can rev up that engine

1103
01:13:38,141 --> 01:13:40,787
of restoration, help, and hope.

1104
01:13:40,810 --> 01:13:43,541
Every father is gonna be making mistakes

1105
01:13:43,564 --> 01:13:47,962
and needs the Lord every day,
and needs God's forgiveness

1106
01:13:47,985 --> 01:13:50,423
and needs
the forgiveness of their children.

1107
01:13:50,446 --> 01:13:53,968
But there is also
this message in Scripture

1108
01:13:53,991 --> 01:13:56,847
that the fatherhood of God is perfect.

1109
01:13:56,870 --> 01:14:01,310
All of God's attributes,
his characteristics,

1110
01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:03,229
are perfect in every detail.

1111
01:14:03,252 --> 01:14:08,609
There is not a speck
of imperfection with God.

1112
01:14:08,632 --> 01:14:13,699
So that everything He says,
He's completely right about.

1113
01:14:13,722 --> 01:14:19,246
He's completely right about it,
not only informationally, but intuitively,

1114
01:14:19,269 --> 01:14:22,027
because it's who He is.

1115
01:14:22,564 --> 01:14:27,422
The reason why you can trust Him
is that He cannot make a mistake.

1116
01:14:27,445 --> 01:14:30,967
Anybody that good at what they do

1117
01:14:30,990 --> 01:14:38,184
is worthy of our trust
even when we do not understand them.

1118
01:14:42,211 --> 01:14:46,526
Today on Focus on the Family, we'll
get some insight from a couple of dads

1119
01:14:46,549 --> 01:14:50,447
who talk about the power
of a father's words and actions.

1120
01:14:50,470 --> 01:14:52,157
John, many of us know the heartache.

1121
01:14:52,180 --> 01:14:56,204
At Focus, we had
the real estate collapse of '07 and '08

1122
01:14:56,227 --> 01:14:59,165
and we had to lay off... I had to lay off...

1123
01:14:59,188 --> 01:15:02,627
600 people over a three-year period.

1124
01:15:02,650 --> 01:15:06,965
And I remember one night,
I was down in the basement of my house.

1125
01:15:06,988 --> 01:15:11,762
And I was sleeping an hour or two a night
because of the stress of this.

1126
01:15:11,785 --> 01:15:13,722
And I remember Dr. Dobson would say to me,

1127
01:15:13,745 --> 01:15:16,141
when he didn't know what to do
with Focus on the Family

1128
01:15:16,164 --> 01:15:18,269
in the early days, he'd call his dad.

1129
01:15:18,292 --> 01:15:22,065
And his dad would always have
the right word of wisdom.

1130
01:15:22,088 --> 01:15:26,737
And I'm down in this basement
going, "I don't have a dad.

1131
01:15:26,760 --> 01:15:29,407
Lord, why didn't You give me
a dad I could call?

1132
01:15:29,430 --> 01:15:32,327
Because I need wisdom right now.

1133
01:15:32,350 --> 01:15:36,306
But You didn't give me that dad."

1134
01:15:36,521 --> 01:15:40,043
And I'm telling you, it wasn't audible,

1135
01:15:40,066 --> 01:15:46,259
but what I heard in my spirit
with a tonal quality was:

1136
01:15:46,282 --> 01:15:49,879
"Haven't I been a good father?

1137
01:15:54,666 --> 01:15:56,824
What do you need?"

1138
01:16:00,088 --> 01:16:05,362
And I went down
on my face and began to weep.

1139
01:16:05,385 --> 01:16:10,952
Just saying, "You've been the best father
a boy could have.

1140
01:16:10,975 --> 01:16:16,917
You've been everything.
Look at what You've done for me."

1141
01:16:16,940 --> 01:16:19,295
If you don't have a dad,

1142
01:16:19,318 --> 01:16:23,425
God is standing there,
saying, "I will be this for you.

1143
01:16:23,448 --> 01:16:27,512
And I'll be the best father
you could ever have."

1144
01:16:27,535 --> 01:16:32,091
And that's what's happened in my life.

1145
01:16:33,793 --> 01:16:37,315
The Holy Spirit
is looking for the broken spirit,

1146
01:16:37,338 --> 01:16:39,192
the person that's wounded.

1147
01:16:39,215 --> 01:16:43,738
Because there's some kind of humility,
I think, that comes from brokenness.

1148
01:16:43,761 --> 01:16:48,494
When you don't have the answers,
maybe somebody has wounded you.

1149
01:16:48,517 --> 01:16:51,997
And at that point,
there's nowhere else to go

1150
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:56,293
and you're saying, "Lord, if You're there,
will you show Yourself to me?"

1151
01:16:56,316 --> 01:16:59,839
He's whispering, "I've always been here.

1152
01:16:59,862 --> 01:17:05,977
I've just been waiting
for you to call out to Me."

1153
01:17:06,078 --> 01:17:13,631
What I needed was a father,
and I found that person in Christ.

1154
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:28,287
We can restore and turn back

1155
01:17:28,310 --> 01:17:31,124
and get back
what the Enemy has taken away.

1156
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,624
So the bad news is, it's bad.

1157
01:17:34,776 --> 01:17:38,549
The good news is, God can make it better

1158
01:17:38,572 --> 01:17:43,555
because He who has begun a good work
in you, if you let Him complete it

1159
01:17:43,578 --> 01:17:46,725
as your daddy, as your Father in heaven...

1160
01:17:46,748 --> 01:17:52,230
He can take that misery
and turn it into your miracle.

1161
01:17:52,253 --> 01:17:54,482
He can turn this nation around

1162
01:17:54,505 --> 01:17:59,655
if He can get men to become the kind
of fathers He's created them to be.

1163
01:17:59,678 --> 01:18:03,368
It's been amazing to me
that some of the best dads in the world

1164
01:18:03,391 --> 01:18:06,871
that I've ever met
had terrible dads themselves.

1165
01:18:06,894 --> 01:18:11,084
And it was a great day when they realized,
I don't have to carry on this legacy

1166
01:18:11,107 --> 01:18:16,549
of baggage and hurt
and absence on to my own children.

1167
01:18:16,572 --> 01:18:20,470
My own father
was not looking at his own dad

1168
01:18:20,493 --> 01:18:24,057
as the example to pass on to us.
He was reading the Scriptures.

1169
01:18:24,080 --> 01:18:26,226
He was reading books by great men.

1170
01:18:26,249 --> 01:18:28,645
He was on his knees
asking God to help him.

1171
01:18:28,668 --> 01:18:34,026
And I'm so grateful that he let go
of those tough cards that he'd been dealt.

1172
01:18:34,050 --> 01:18:41,123
And he decided to pass on
a new legacy for us as his kids.

1173
01:18:45,354 --> 01:18:49,627
I used to wish
that I could be affirmed more.

1174
01:18:49,650 --> 01:18:52,255
And when I learned about the Jewish people

1175
01:18:52,278 --> 01:18:56,426
and how they speak blessings
over their children,

1176
01:18:56,449 --> 01:19:04,122
I chose to pray for each of my sons
when they were getting married.

1177
01:19:04,165 --> 01:19:07,563
He had turned a corner
with his own walk with God,

1178
01:19:07,586 --> 01:19:11,860
and determined
to tell his sons that they were loved,

1179
01:19:11,883 --> 01:19:15,989
to pray over them,
to encourage them, and to bless them.

1180
01:19:16,012 --> 01:19:19,410
In the Bible,
the blessing was everything. Everything.

1181
01:19:19,433 --> 01:19:24,290
That blessing was the covenantal transfer

1182
01:19:24,313 --> 01:19:28,879
of the favor of God
for the future of the child.

1183
01:19:28,902 --> 01:19:35,428
They long for that blessing,
that passing of divine favor.

1184
01:19:35,451 --> 01:19:41,350
Every father is responsible
for passing on the blessing.

1185
01:19:41,373 --> 01:19:45,210
There was the touch of transfer.

1186
01:19:45,253 --> 01:19:50,049
I am passing on what God has given me...

1187
01:19:50,717 --> 01:19:51,676
to you.

1188
01:19:54,597 --> 01:20:02,270
It was at my wedding that he gave me
what I'll call a "formal public blessing."

1189
01:20:03,982 --> 01:20:08,005
Well, I don't think people
were expecting what was about to happen.

1190
01:20:08,028 --> 01:20:12,092
We were not realizing
what was about to happen.

1191
01:20:12,115 --> 01:20:14,387
He tells me
in front of the whole congregation:

1192
01:20:14,410 --> 01:20:16,848
"I see you as a man, a grown man.

1193
01:20:16,871 --> 01:20:19,768
I bless you, I believe in you."

1194
01:20:19,791 --> 01:20:22,020
He told me he loved me
in front of the audience.

1195
01:20:22,043 --> 01:20:23,773
He blessed me in front of the audience.

1196
01:20:23,796 --> 01:20:26,734
Told me he's proud of me
in front of the audience.

1197
01:20:26,757 --> 01:20:30,029
And I just remembered thinking,
"Wow, you're pushing all the buttons

1198
01:20:30,052 --> 01:20:32,532
that men wanna hear their dad say."

1199
01:20:32,555 --> 01:20:36,453
When Dad began to bless Alex,
it wasn't just this,

1200
01:20:36,476 --> 01:20:39,873
you know, "God bless you.
I hope things turn out well."

1201
01:20:39,896 --> 01:20:41,792
It went on and on.

1202
01:20:41,815 --> 01:20:44,754
It was like this river
that just kept flowing

1203
01:20:44,777 --> 01:20:48,758
and speaking success
over the future of his son.

1204
01:20:48,781 --> 01:20:51,928
People were just weeping...

1205
01:20:51,951 --> 01:20:55,307
because they'd never seen a dad

1206
01:20:55,330 --> 01:20:59,895
love his son unconditionally
like that before.

1207
01:20:59,918 --> 01:21:02,606
So that's the way
he sends me off to start our family.

1208
01:21:02,629 --> 01:21:08,024
I lacked nothing emotionally
or in my heart.

1209
01:21:08,386 --> 01:21:10,424
I'm leaving full.

1210
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:14,495
There's no better person
to do that than your dad telling you,

1211
01:21:14,518 --> 01:21:16,436
"You are a man."

1212
01:21:19,773 --> 01:21:25,297
After my blessing, Dad did the same thing
for our brother Shannon at his wedding.

1213
01:21:25,321 --> 01:21:32,306
It took me months of rehearsing
in my own mind and practicing quietly

1214
01:21:32,329 --> 01:21:37,395
even in the middle of the night
when I'd wake up and think about it.

1215
01:21:37,418 --> 01:21:43,609
But I spoke to Shannon
and his bride from Deuteronomy 28,

1216
01:21:43,632 --> 01:21:48,699
where it says, "If you hearken diligently
unto the voice of the Lord thy God,

1217
01:21:48,722 --> 01:21:56,396
to do and to keep his commandments,
all these blessings shall come upon you."

1218
01:21:56,606 --> 01:21:58,710
So when I got married,

1219
01:21:58,733 --> 01:22:04,633
at the end of the ceremony,
Dad says, "I want to bless you."

1220
01:22:04,656 --> 01:22:08,013
And Dad just says, "My son,"

1221
01:22:08,285 --> 01:22:13,435
and then he told me
what he thought about me.

1222
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:21,131
I declare that you are a beloved son
in whom we are well pleased.

1223
01:22:22,383 --> 01:22:24,988
I bless you in the name of the Lord Jesus

1224
01:22:25,011 --> 01:22:29,035
that you may proclaim the Gospel
with joy and enthusiasm,

1225
01:22:29,058 --> 01:22:34,833
that you may be a man
of integrity, sincere in every good work.

1226
01:22:34,856 --> 01:22:38,253
I bless you
to be a spiritual leader to your wife,

1227
01:22:38,276 --> 01:22:41,132
to be a channel of blessings to others.

1228
01:22:41,155 --> 01:22:43,509
May the Lord shine His face upon you.

1229
01:22:43,532 --> 01:22:45,553
May He be gracious unto you.

1230
01:22:45,576 --> 01:22:50,975
May He give you peace is our prayer
in the name of the Lord Jesus.

1231
01:22:50,998 --> 01:22:53,771
I remember standing there thinking:

1232
01:22:53,794 --> 01:22:56,232
"I don't deserve this.

1233
01:22:56,255 --> 01:22:58,442
I haven't earned this."

1234
01:22:58,465 --> 01:23:00,445
But it wasn't about that.

1235
01:23:00,468 --> 01:23:04,664
It was about the heart of a father.

1236
01:23:12,857 --> 01:23:16,462
I would tell anyone who has longed
for a blessing

1237
01:23:16,485 --> 01:23:19,298
from their father and never gotten it,

1238
01:23:19,322 --> 01:23:22,511
that you can get it through Jesus.

1239
01:23:22,534 --> 01:23:26,181
That you can look at Ephesians
and say, "Because of my faith in Christ,

1240
01:23:26,204 --> 01:23:31,937
this is what my Heavenly Father
thinks about me."

1241
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:35,566
We had a time in our church
where I preached on the blessing

1242
01:23:35,589 --> 01:23:37,444
of Jacob and Esau.

1243
01:23:37,467 --> 01:23:41,824
And I said, "If you have not been blessed,
come forward."

1244
01:23:41,847 --> 01:23:47,482
Hundreds of men,
hundreds of men came forward.

1245
01:23:48,187 --> 01:23:51,664
The longing for the blessing.

1246
01:23:51,775 --> 01:23:53,094
They cried.

1247
01:23:53,818 --> 01:23:56,256
They were living under a cloud.

1248
01:23:56,279 --> 01:23:57,591
A sense of being cursed.

1249
01:23:57,614 --> 01:24:02,972
Because they're doing the same things
their daddy did. Same sins, same anger.

1250
01:24:02,995 --> 01:24:04,891
I prayed a prayer of blessing.

1251
01:24:04,914 --> 01:24:06,934
There was weeping and wailing

1252
01:24:06,957 --> 01:24:11,565
at that feeling
that the future could be different

1253
01:24:11,588 --> 01:24:15,027
because I'm living now
under the blessing of God

1254
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,405
and not under the cursing of my dad.

1255
01:24:18,428 --> 01:24:22,952
We have a generation of unblessed children

1256
01:24:22,975 --> 01:24:28,917
because the fathers
did not transfer the blessing.

1257
01:24:28,940 --> 01:24:33,213
The words that a father speaks
over his children are so crucial.

1258
01:24:33,236 --> 01:24:36,953
They'll remember what you said.

1259
01:24:37,116 --> 01:24:41,552
A positive blessing over your kids...

1260
01:24:41,662 --> 01:24:42,808
is incredible.

1261
01:24:42,831 --> 01:24:48,231
And it has so much far-reaching impact
in our lives.

1262
01:24:48,254 --> 01:24:51,131
From this day forward...

1263
01:24:51,589 --> 01:24:56,114
may God's hand
of goodness rest on your life.

1264
01:24:56,137 --> 01:24:59,158
May you experience His love...

1265
01:24:59,181 --> 01:25:01,328
His forgiveness...

1266
01:25:01,351 --> 01:25:02,789
His power...

1267
01:25:03,478 --> 01:25:05,396
His provision...

1268
01:25:05,939 --> 01:25:09,536
for everything that you touch.

1269
01:25:09,777 --> 01:25:11,215
Your wife...

1270
01:25:11,736 --> 01:25:13,591
your children...

1271
01:25:13,614 --> 01:25:14,813
your work.

1272
01:25:15,783 --> 01:25:23,144
May His hand of goodness cover you
because you're underneath His covenant.

1273
01:25:23,167 --> 01:25:29,282
And may you walk now
in victory and not in defeat.

1274
01:25:29,923 --> 01:25:32,441
In Jesus' name, amen.

1275
01:25:38,558 --> 01:25:44,313
It's almost like
we've got this piece of glass.

1276
01:25:46,859 --> 01:25:49,422
And we've got a picture
of our earthly father

1277
01:25:49,445 --> 01:25:52,203
on that piece of glass.

1278
01:25:55,494 --> 01:25:58,223
And then we begin to project upon God

1279
01:25:58,246 --> 01:26:02,683
the attributes of our earthly father.

1280
01:26:06,422 --> 01:26:09,986
We must erase the things
about our earthly father

1281
01:26:10,009 --> 01:26:11,613
that don't look like God.

1282
01:26:11,636 --> 01:26:18,230
And we begin to look at God
through the lens of Jesus.

1283
01:26:29,989 --> 01:26:32,178
There are so many people
walking around, going:

1284
01:26:32,201 --> 01:26:37,892
"Show me God.
I can't see Him. I can't hear Him.

1285
01:26:37,915 --> 01:26:41,395
Where is God? Show me the Father."

1286
01:26:41,418 --> 01:26:45,526
Jesus says,
"Don't you realize this whole time

1287
01:26:45,549 --> 01:26:48,362
I have been representing
the Father to you.

1288
01:26:48,385 --> 01:26:51,241
If you've seen Me, you've seen the Father.

1289
01:26:51,264 --> 01:26:54,743
I'm pouring out the love
of the Father to you."

1290
01:26:54,766 --> 01:26:57,580
Through our faith in Him,
we can know the Father.

1291
01:26:57,603 --> 01:27:02,794
We can know the heart
of the Father, His love for us."

1292
01:27:02,817 --> 01:27:10,251
Jesus said, "I came to introduce
you to the Heavenly Father."