This isn't a spontaneous declaration,
nor a spur-of-the-moment thing.
I admit it hasn't been for ages,
but to make up for it, I've taken my time to give it a lot of serious thought.
What do you think of me?
Would you like to go out with me?
I…
I think you're getting a call.
Oh, right.
EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICES
Please make way!
What's going on?
We have a person in critical condition.
KIM SEO-WAN
Requesting confirmation on available hospitals.
Hello?
The police?
Yes, Kong Cheol-woo speaking.
Why would the ER…
A suicide attempt?
Okay, I'll be right there.
EMERGENCY MEDICAL CENTER
- When did the call come in? - Thirty minutes ago.
He lost a lot of blood at the scene.
What happened?
He bled a lot and was barely conscious. His blood pressure is 80/50.
We'll operate on his ruptured cervical esophagus.
A ruptured cervical esophagus? Wasn't it a suicide attempt?
Apparently, he stabbed his own neck. What else do you call that?
I heard he did it with a cooking chopstick.
I called because he has a psychiatric history.
I see.
Excuse me.
Are you Mr. Choi Jun-gi's guardian?
Oh, yes, Doctor.
Will Jun-gi be okay?
Yes, he'll be going into surgery now.
They'll ask for your consent soon.
Oh, I'm a psychiatric resident.
Ma'am.
I'd like to know how it happened.
Did your brother really stab himself in the neck?
It's still there.
Jun-gi!
He went so far as to stab his own neck,
which doesn't seem like just a suicide attempt.
I suspect a somatic delusion along with schizophrenia.
He seems to have had a severe hallucination before the act.
Let's take another look when he wakes up.
Once he recovers in the ICU, the cardiothoracic team will take him.
Have his guardian do a history intake.
Yes, Doctor.
DAILY DOSE OF SUNSHINE
- Honey. - Yes?
I'm off for a delivery.
Whoa, no. I'll do it.
Why is he working so hard suddenly?
Something must be up.
He does that whenever he goes through a rough patch.
Just out of curiosity,
were you waiting for me?
I was.
Why?
Because I missed you.
Oh, Yu-chan, it's been a while.
Hello, ma'am.
Right. Why haven't you come in a while?
I've just been busy with work.
I see.
Did you know Da-eun was home?
No. Didn't she go to work?
She's off today.
She hasn't been feeling well since yesterday,
so she's been bedridden all day.
Oh. Is it bad?
Well, she's so sluggish, perhaps overloaded with work.
What good is being a nurse when you can't even care for yourself?
I feel so bad for her.
Jeez…
MYUNGSHIN UNIVERSITY MEDICAL CENTER
I told you Seo-wan ended up like this because of his studies.
So, why…
This is all your fault.
Why did you have Seo-wan discharged? Why?
He was still unwell!
Why else would he have killed himself if he was well?
My baby! Why did you have my baby discharged? Why?
Why?
Go back, please.
This is all…
This is all on you lot. I won't let this go.
My poor baby…
All of you!
Mr. Kim, please calm down.
Please calm down.
Mr. Cho Nam-guk used to harm himself once a day.
He's gotten much better,
so much so that he hasn't self-harmed in the past week.
He's needed to take Alprazolam less frequently too.
So, what do you say
to allowing Mr. Cho Nam-guk to start having visitors?
Yes, sir. I'll reach out to his guardian to set up a consultation.
Right.
And, Dr. Cha, email me the first draft of the paper you asked me to look at
by the end of the day.
I will. Thank you, sir.
Gosh, these old glasses. I can barely see anything.
That's enough for today.
I'll drop by the optician, then see some outpatients, so carry on.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Sir.
Sir, are you really
okay with everything?
Dr. Kong, what are you saying?
A patient we discharged took his own life, sir.
But how is it
that you seem so unfazed by all this?
I just don't understand.
Did I seem unfazed?
You'll keep your patients waiting, sir.
Hey, Kong, get over here.
Do you think…
dealing with many patient deaths desensitizes you
and numbs you to the pain?
Death isn't
something you get used to, even if you've experienced it thousands of times.
It is sad every single time.
We all just
pretend it doesn't affect us.
What happened to Mr. Kim Seo-wan's guardians?
Security escorted them out.
I'll deal with that myself, so don't let it rattle you all.
Let's get to work.
Yes, ma'am.
Ms. Jung Ha-ram has a new prescription. Check before handing it out.
She's been complaining of stomach pain. Should I let her doctor know?
Let's check if she eats something else after her meals.
If she still has pains even with her new meds,
she might have to see internal medicine.
- Let's notify her doctor, then. - Okay.
- Well, let's get to work. - Yes, ma'am.
By the way,
has anyone tried calling Ms. Jung?
I did, but she didn't answer.
It's her day off. She must be resting.
Let's all try to help her out when she gets back.
Mr. Kim Seo-wan was a patient she cared about deeply.
- Yes. - Yes, ma'am.
MS. JUNG, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I HEARD IT'S YOUR DAY OFF!
Ms. Jung, are you all right?
I heard it's your day off.
Rest up. See you tomorrow.
Don't skip your meals.
Mr. Kim Seo-wan's drawing…
What should we do?
We should remove it.
CLASS 7 MAGE KIM SEO-WAN
Look, that room and bed belonged to someone who committed suicide.
No way you'll keep me in there!
Ms. Hong, what is it?
He keeps asking for a new room.
Sure, you can change.
KIM SEO-WAN
Dr. Dong.
- Yes? - What's wrong?
You've been looking at the same patient's results for a while.
Oh, was I?
Is it because of the death of a patient from psychiatry?
Oh, you knew about it too?
It's been bothering me all day as well.
I'm sure it's a lot worse for you.
HWANG YEO-HWAN I FEEL TERRIBLE. LET'S DRINK
HEY, EVERYTHING OKAY?
HAVING HARD TIMES AT THE HOS
Hey, Yu-chan!
Come on, man! Yu-chan!
What's wrong with Donggo?
Hey, get him to sit down.
Hey.
Did something happen?
We had an incident at the hospital.
A patient died by suicide.
Did Da-eun know this patient too?
Yes, he was also very close to Da-eun.
Is that why she's sick?
- Da-eun is sick? - Huh?
Yeo-hwan.
- Let's have one more drink. - You've had one too many already.
That's enough.
He also treated that patient.
It must be really weighing on him.
I'm worried about Da-eun.
I hope she recovers quickly as she always does.
She isn't quick to recover.
When her pet hamster died,
she couldn't even eat
for a whole month.
She's brave, but she's also soft.
She laughs a lot, but also cries a lot.
She's really bad at hiding her feelings, that Da-eun.
You seem to be a Jung Da-eun expert.
Let's hope he hasn't changed his passcode.
Right, there we go.
Wait. Let me get his shoes.
Right. Good. All right.
Hey, just toss him wherever and come on out.
I can't bring myself to hate you.
Why did you drink so much when you can't even handle it?
I had my reasons.
I heard it all from Dr. Hwang.
It will take a toll on Ms. Jung.
Hey, you should be there for her.
You can do that yourself.
To tell you the truth,
I saw everything that day.
Aren't you guys dating?
Nope.
She turned you down?
No!
I told her how I felt, but I never got my answer.
That's when the patient died.
Are you okay though?
No, I'm not.
But I'm sure Ms. Jung's doing a lot worse.
UNCONTROLLED CALLER
Feels like it's been a while since we talked.
Come to the restaurant tonight.
Why? What's up?
Just come!
You look so pale.
Can't you just call in sick today?
There's no one to cover for me if I suddenly call in sick.
I have to go.
MYUNGSHIN UNIVERSITY MEDICAL CENTER
Huh? Why are you here so early, Ms. Jung?
Oh, I just woke up early today.
Here's the briefing for the shift change.
Mr. Choi Jun-gi, 33 years old, hurt himself
on the left side of his neck and esophagus with a chopstick.
He had an emergency op at the ER and was under observation in the SICU.
They had difficulties continuing treatment at the CS unit
because he kept trying to harm himself, so he is here now.
I'll take that patient.
No, he's in one of my rooms. I got him.
You just seemed to be going through a lot.
I'm fine. I just have a bit of a cold, that's all.
Do we have Mr. Choi Jun-gi's history yet?
According to his guardian,
the patient claims that he hurt himself to remove a rock from inside his neck.
As his depression got worse, he lost about 8 kg in the past two months.
I see.
Ms. Jung doesn't seem well today, does she?
I don't think it's just a cold.
Can we let her go about her duties like that?
Maybe she's trying to keep her mind occupied with work.
It just so happens that Mr. Choi Jun-gi is in Mr. Kim Seo-wan's old room.
Will she be okay?
I'm not sure.
She can't avoid it forever.
Let's leave her be for now.
UNIT 53 / ROOM 511 M/33 CHOI ♪ GI
Good morning.
How are you feeling today?
I'll take your blood pressure first.
Could you tell me your name?
Mr. Choi Jun-gi, right?
Excuse me for a second.
Your blood pressure is normal.
If you're having difficulty speaking,
would you mind nodding or raising your hand like this
to show me whether you need anything?
I'll leave you to rest.
Mr. Choi Jun-gi!
Mr. Choi, no. Please calm down!
Please help!
No, please stop. Mr. Choi, no!
Mr. Choi, please calm down!
Please relax!
Mr. Choi, your risk of self-harm is very high,
so we'll restrain you for your safety.
You seem to be in distress, so we'll give you a sedative.
Give him a PRN injection.
Injecting 2 mg of Ativan and 2.5 mg of Haldol.
It's okay, Mr. Choi Jun-gi.
You'll feel much better now.
MR. CHOI JUN-GI'S DEARLY MISSED BABY
MR. CHOI JUN-GI'S BABY CREMATION IN PROGRESS
Jun-gi and his wife
were a happy couple and always looked out for each other.
But when his wife died, everything changed.
So your sister-in-law died by suicide.
It must have been terribly hard for you and your brother.
It was hard for me,
but Jun-gi's heart was ripped to shreds.
I understand.
They were newlyweds.
They had a lovely relationship,
got married, and had a baby.
They had everything they could wish for.
Look over here. She's looking.
What should we name her? We should've had a name ready.
I know, right? What should we name you?
I wonder what kind of name would go best with our baby.
It was sudden infant death syndrome.
It happened for no reason.
They woke up one morning, and the baby wasn't breathing.
The funeral will proceed as I just explained to you.
But we don't have a name for the deceased.
The baby…
had no name.
THE DECEASED MR. CHOI JUN-GI'S BABY
We hadn't picked out
a name for our baby yet.
I'm sorry!
My baby!
Gyeong-seo.
Leave it. Okay?
I'll clean them up.
You can go in.
Go get some rest.
Jun-gi did everything he could.
No one can fathom how a parent must feel, burying his child
with no reason given as to why.
But my sister-in-law started to speak less and less…
All Jun-gi could do
was endure in silence.
How could she leave him like that?
Did she even consider
the people who would be left behind?
His symptoms of delusion
might stem from
the grief over his wife's death.
The way he expressed his grief wasn't normal. That much is certain.
Then what will happen to my brother?
First, we'll lessen his delusions and anxiety with medicine.
Until then, it's imperative that he stays calm.
Which case should we use for this week's conference?
I'd like to touch on Ms. Kwak's case.
She was admitted for compulsive hoarding syndrome.
Patient Kim Geon-jong in Room 509 seems to have Capgras syndrome.
I don't know how we...
Good morning, sir.
- Hey, stay seated. Sit. - Good morning, sir.
Are you busy little bees getting any sleep?
- Well, we're fine, sir. - We're okay, sir.
Jeez, Hwang, it's about time you washed your hair.
Yes, sir.
- Hwang Yeo-hwan. - Sir.
Do you want to give a presentation at the upcoming grand conference?
A presentation?
I was thinking of discussing PTSD found in suicide survivors.
Then, why don't we cover Mr. Choi Jun-gi's case as well, sir?
Mr. Choi Jun-gi?
It's a rare case. The death of his family resulted in his depression and psychosis.
I wanted to study his case.
Okay, then. Let's get that one ready.
- Sir. - I'll leave it to you.
Update the chart before the shift change, okay?
- I will. - Don't make the same mistake.
I won't.
- Hello, everyone. - Hello.
I'm here to deliver snacks.
What's all this?
I was getting myself some and you ladies came to mind, so here I am.
You're a big spender.
- Thank you so much. - No problem.
Sandwiches!
Let's leave these for the night shift.
Sure.
Enjoy, then. Yup.
- We will. Thank you. - Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Hwang.
There's more than enough for the night shift.
Didn't you say you were on a diet?
You don't gain weight from sandwiches.
Just have one, not two, okay?
Okay.
MS. MIN DEUL-RE PAYMENT REMINDER
DAEHAN CARD PAYMENT REMINDER
Hey.
- Why did you ask me to come? - To feed you this.
You made tteokbokki?
You always crave spicy food when you have a cold. Sit!
This is nice. I happen to be starving.
Dig in. I'll get you a soda.
It's so spicy but so good.
Do you know why people crave spice during hardships?
Huh?
Our bodies register spiciness as a type of pain,
and to relieve the pain, they release a rush of adrenaline,
which ends up relieving the stress.
The capsaicin and quercetin in the tteokbokki
help with blood circulation and expel bodily waste.
What are you on about?
Whatever! It does help with the stress though.
Thanks, buddy.
All right.
What… what are you doing?
Now I'm short.
I'll make more.
You don't eat spicy food.
I don't.
But I'm craving it right now.
Sir, you can't go in there. It's a closed ward.
I'm sorry.
I
Just laid Seo-wan to rest.
Now…
I don't even have a son to hold and cry over.
I'm sorry,
but this isn't the right place, sir.
Then what do you expect me to do?
Am I to just bury my son in my heart and go on with my life?
Hello.
- Hello, Dr. Im. - Sir.
ON SUICIDE SURVIVORS
Shall we begin?
Ms. Min, could you get the lights?
Yes.
- What about the station? - Ms. Jung stayed back.
SUICIDE SURVIVORS: SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE LOSS
We're gathered here today to discuss PTSD.
More specifically,
the post-traumatic stress disorder
found in suicide survivors.
Suicide survivor
is a term reserved for those who have lost loved ones to suicide
and must live on
while enduring psychological pain.
All of us have gone through
a devastating event recently.
I hope this conference will allow us to look back on ourselves
and learn to better understand the pain that our patients go through.
Mr. Choi Jun-gi, 33 years old.
About six months ago,
he lost his firstborn to sudden infant death syndrome.
Shortly after, the shock drove his wife
to tragically take her own life.
I know it's very difficult,
but could you tell me…
about the deceased?
My
Wife?
She was very caring.
She loved people,
and especially,
she loved babies.
Oh, give it to me. I'll do it.
Your shirt is wet.
Oh, this?
It's breast milk.
I keep lactating,
although there's no baby to feed.
Why does she have the lights off?
Gyeong-seo.
Gyeong-seo! No!
Gyeong-seo!
No.
I can see how Gyeong-seo died…
every time I close my eyes.
NUMBER OF SURVIVORS SERIOUSLY AFFECTED BY SUICIDE PER CASE: 5-10
Suicide survivors have a strong tendency
to blame themselves for everything
when they're faced with an unbearable tragedy like suicide.
Spending time alone made me realize…
how awfully quiet our apartment was.
What if…
Doctor, what if
I hadn't left Gyeong-seo alone like that?
Would she still be alive?
What if I had talked to her about it even once…
or at least cried my eyes out with her?
Would she still be alive?
They may even… blame themselves for the death.
ESTIMATED NUMBER OF SURVIVORS PER YEAR: 68,350 - 136,700
That concludes my presentation.
Suicide
greatly affects at least five to ten people
who know the deceased.
Recently,
in our ward,
a patient who had been discharged died by suicide.
Despite being medical professionals,
we're only human, so I'm sure some of you here
haven't gotten over his death yet.
We are
just survivors,
constantly coping with loss.
So we shouldn't let it stop us.
Instead, we should take one day at a time.
In some ways,
living in the present can be
the same as standing on a knife-edge.
It's because the future is yet to come,
and the past has already gone by.
We're standing
on the edge of a knife called the present.
Oh! Dr. Dong.
- It's been a while, Ms. Jung. - It has.
- You heading home now? - Yes.
The night air feels so nice.
You're right. It does.
You look a bit tired though. Did you have a lot of work?
A bit, yes.
Oh, the bus is here.
Are you feeling a bit better now?
Well, yes…
You know, when your heart aches, your body suffers as well.
There's no other medicine for it.
You just eat good food, watch fun stuff,
and indulge your own whims.
These things help you forget about the pain, if only a little.
It sounds like you experienced some kind of heartbreak.
Oh, yes. Of course…
DEFEAT LORENKRANTZ THE FIRE DRAGON
That must be the game Mr. Kim Seo-wan used to talk about.
I think that's the Mediator character.
What do you think? Do we look alike?
Yes, maybe a bit.
You think so?
God, Ms. Hong would be upset if she saw this.
You see, Mr. Kim told her that she looked like some kind of monster.
I guess that's the one.
Gosh, that was really mean, don't you think?
Ma'am.
Yes, Mr. Kim.
I'm sure you and your staff…
must have sat
next to my boy like this.
I guess…
he wasn't lonely at this hospital.
So I think…
he took at least one good memory with him.
I'm sure he did.
Thank you…
for everything.
Wait, Mr. Kim.
Our unit has a therapy group for survivors of suicide loss.
Would you like to attend?
A therapy group?
You will be able to express your grief.
Why are you being so nice to me
when you don't have to?
I think I understand
how you must feel.
- Hello. - Hello.
Yes, she's at the station.
I hope this group therapy session can become your safety nets.
It'd be safer to use several safety nets
instead of just one, right?
Yes.
Taking your meds regularly, going to therapy,
telling your doctor about your exact symptoms,
and having emergency pills ready,
such practices will become your safety nets.
This group therapy session is about providing a safe space
where it's okay to openly discuss what's inside our hearts
so that we may better understand our own pain and that of others.
Before we begin, let me introduce a new member of our group.
Mr. Choi Jun-gi.
Let's welcome him with a round of applause.
Then, let's begin.
After my dad died by suicide…
I had a very hard time.
We often argued because of money,
so I wonder if that's why he took his own life.
Even now,
I can't bring myself to delete the phone number.
If only I had answered my friend's call at the time…
Living by myself feels strange.
I feel like I should follow.
The guilt of being alive drives me insane.
At night,
I shut my eyes, wishing I won't wake up the next morning.
But…
my eyes open
and the pain starts again.
Mr. Choi Jun-gi.
What do you think?
Would you like to share anything that's on your mind?
If you need more time, it can wait until the next session.
My wife…
di…
died by suicide.
I never expected to lose her so abruptly.
Honestly, it was so sudden…
that it still doesn't feel real at all.
I feel so sorry for her.
I also wonder…
whether it was my fault…
so I feel terrible.
To me, it sounds like
you still haven't truly laid your wife to rest.
Did you, perhaps,
see your wife in her casket?
No, I couldn't bring myself to see her.
Then…
what if we were to hold your wife's funeral once more?
Dr. Cha, could you lend me a hand?
Yes, Dr. Im.
Could you lie down here for a minute?
Mr. Choi Jun-gi.
Try to imagine
that the person in front of you is your late wife.
And if there's something you didn't get to say to her,
please try saying it now.
I just thought I was giving you time.
Time to be sad, time to grieve,
and time to forget.
Yup.
I thought I was giving you that.
But looking back,
I see now that I was just neglecting you.
I shouldn't have left you alone,
nor should I have left you to cry by yourself.
Had I realized this a bit sooner…
Had I just been more attentive to the signs, you…
Next time, I won't leave you alone.
I won't neglect you.
So promise me
that we'll meet again.
And when we do…
let's have a happier life.
Ma'am, I'll take these to the therapy room.
Experiencing the suicide of someone you know
is a severely traumatic event.
It can lead to a type of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The negative energy coming from these memories is so strong
that your mind might distance any information related to those memories
from your consciousness.
This is called dissociative amnesia.
The truth is so painful
that your mind denies it ever happened to you.
Jung Da-eun? What about her?
She just seems too okay.
What does that mean, "too okay"?
Well, she seemed to have forgotten about Mr. Kim Seo-wan's passing.
Thank you for sharing.
- You all did so well. - Thank you.
Great job, everyone.
Aren't you Mr. Kim Seo-wan's father?
Ms. Jung Da-eun.
I was hoping I could meet you.
What did…
what did Seo-wan say?
Mr. Kim Seo-wan?
You were the last person to speak to him on the phone before he died.
What do you mean, Mr. Kim Seo-wan is dead?
But he was discharged. I saw him as an outpatient recently.
ALL PEOPLE, GROUPS, LOCATIONS, ORGANIZATIONS,
AND EVENTS IN THE SHOW HAVE NO RELATION TO REAL LIFE