1
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:26,360
[man] We have a conspiracy
on our hands here in Salem.

2
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,821
Salem was once a jewel
of the western coast,

3
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,533
shining example of America.

4
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,035
We were a community of people

5
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,787
who taught our children
good morals

6
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,121
and leadership values.

7
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,083
But someone in Salem

8
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,294
has decided to live
by his own rules,

9
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,256
rules written by Satan himself.

10
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,970
Our mayor has found time
to sex up interns,

11
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:57,224
but for three years,
no one has fixed the pothole

12
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:01,270
in front of my house
on 63 Nancy Street.

13
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,982
But this is obviously only
a symptom of the real problem.

14
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,653
The real problem
is immortality itself.

15
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,203
- Immortality?
- Sir, do you mean immorality?

16
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,706
I'd like to request
a time extension

17
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,041
due to being interrupted
by Miss Martino here.

18
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,002
Denied, and that's not
my last name.

19
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,212
What exactly is
your complaint, sir?

20
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,174
With our mayor having used
his office as Gomorrah

21
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,135
and with parents still reeling

22
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,096
from the filthy,
nude forest dancing

23
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,056
in last year's production
of The Crucible,

24
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,310
I'm disgusted to learn
that this school plans

25
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:45,272
to perform Once Upon
a Mattress this year.

26
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,566
Now, not only does
that sound like a porno,

27
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,776
upon further investigation,

28
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,362
this mattress show
also glorifies an unwed mother.

29
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,655
- So...
- [Marie chuckles]

30
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,701
No, go ahead and laugh,
'cause that's very funny.

31
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,621
Unsafe sex is very funny, right?

32
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,164
Shame on you, Ms. Martino.

33
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,142
- Sir, stick to your topic.
- No one here is named Martino.

34
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,044
I'll stick to my right
to free speech. How 'bout that?

35
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,462
Or did you already menstruate

36
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,814
on that part
of the Constitution?

37
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,923
I think you mean
the Bill of Rights.

38
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,050
Sir, watch it.

39
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,302
We have our little league team
in the audience.

40
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,512
Good! This is for them!
They need to hear it...

41
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,782
Okay, that's it. Bobby, do me
a favor. Get him out of here.

42
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,433
Brothers, stay
the F away from me!

43
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,559
Watch your language.

44
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,644
Don't provoke him, Joan.

45
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,928
You threatening me, new woman?

46
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,647
Yes, I'm threatening you.

47
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,357
What are you gonna do about it?

48
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,904
This is what
I'm gonna do about it.

49
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,365
I'm gonna use my free speech

50
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,949
to make sure
the kids of this town

51
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,243
don't end up degenerated
like the mayor.

52
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,372
You people talk and talk
and do nothing!

53
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,540
I speak for the parents
of this town

54
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:50,045
when I say stamp out
the sin and the porn plays,

55
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,589
or you're gonna turn to salt,

56
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,217
and this town's gonna end up
being just another...

57
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,054
- [Bobby] Let's go.
- Devil-worshiping, homosexual,

58
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:03,767
pill-popping paradise
for all of America!

59
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,850
[Bobby] Come on.

60
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,483
[message sent tone playing]

61
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,693
[message received tone playing]

62
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:19,658
[message sent tone
playing continuously]

63
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,409
[principal Bellingham]
Despite the outburst,

64
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,401
it looks like we already have

65
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,778
pre-approval from
the department,

66
00:03:56,862 --> 00:04:00,157
so with that decision, we'll
conclude tonight's meeting.

67
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,409
Thank you all for coming, and...

68
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,661
Hey. Your mom's new
to the school board, right?

69
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,246
So's mine. I'm Diwata.

70
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,165
- Di-what-a?
- Diwata.

71
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:09,708
Uh...

72
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,751
Howie.

73
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,586
Children of the board unite,
right, Howie?

74
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,758
My private blog. It's getting
a lot of hits lately.

75
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:18,967
You should check it out.

76
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,414
[parent] I don't
recognize your authority.

77
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,981
I don't recognize it.

78
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,625
- [indistinct chatter]
- [door slams open]

79
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,859
You afraid of, brother?

80
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,028
You afraid of shining
a light on some truth?

81
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,422
[phone sliding on floor]
[message received tone playing]

82
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,864
[parent]
Don't take my arm so tight.

83
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,365
It's not necessary.

84
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,699
Come on.

85
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,757
[indistinct chattering]

86
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,426
[Diwata]
You caved to a crazy man?

87
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,762
[Marie] I didn't cave.
I was outvoted, sweetie.

88
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,947
[Diwata] Once Upon a Mattress

89
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,599
is the musical version
of Princess and the Pea.

90
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,519
Censoring it is like
putting pants on Elmo

91
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,687
so no one sees
the nothing between his legs.

92
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,189
Elmo doesn't wear pants?

93
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,774
I'm kidding.

94
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:16,858
Oh, God.

95
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,958
[message received tone
playing continuously]

96
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,597
[message sent tone
playing continuously]

97
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,555
[message sent tone playing]

98
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,220
[message received tone playing]

99
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,899
[Joan]
Yeah, I'm threatening you.

100
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,568
What are you gonna do about it?

101
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,905
[man] This is what I'm
gonna do about it.

102
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:46,990
I'm gonna use my free...

103
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,325
[Susan] Solomon!

104
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,619
Shut that off,
and do your homework!

105
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,370
Degenerated like the mayor.

106
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,914
You people talk and talk
and do nothing!

107
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,708
[James]
Come on. Leave him alone.

108
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,585
I voted for the changes.
Isn't that enough?

109
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,171
That guy and his argument
were both crazy.

110
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,982
[Susan] I thought you were
against sex before marriage.

111
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,007
[James] No, I... I am,

112
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,551
but I'm also against
not having sex after marriage.

113
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:07,636
[Susan] Give me a break.

114
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,805
[piano music playing]

115
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,977
♪ Sitting at
My Casio keyboard ♪

116
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,981
♪ Thank God it's built
To prerecord ♪

117
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:26,237
♪ Otherwise, I couldn't play
And sing at the same time ♪

118
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,198
♪ I-I-I'm... ♪

119
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,491
[electronic music playing]

120
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,575
Son of a bitch.

121
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,918
I want to thank all
of my fans who posted comments

122
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,796
on the new video
of my current acting reel

123
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,673
and have been sending me
good-luck vibes

124
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,424
for the big audition tomorrow.

125
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,679
Sadly, under pressure
from local psychos,

126
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,555
my drama teacher,

127
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,392
a man I'll call gay guy
with a neck beard,

128
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,351
in order to protect

129
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,562
Mr. Walter M. Healy's
anonymity,

130
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:03,775
has caved and agreed
to "purify" the plot

131
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,610
of Once Upon a Mattress.

132
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,071
As a result of this lunacy,

133
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,198
the character of Lady Larken

134
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,493
will no longer be pregnant
out of wedlock.

135
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,329
We have a state-mandated

136
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,415
teen-mothers program
at our school,

137
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,376
but the board thinks
an unwed storybook mom

138
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,961
is too scandalous?

139
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:30,301
Lady Larken and I
aren't both perfectly pretty,

140
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:34,597
and I don't have
her perfect soprano voice.

141
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,184
[sighs]
But the truth is...

142
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,187
the Lady and I have
a lot more in common

143
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,564
than you'd ever guess.

144
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,693
So, Mr. Healy...

145
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,489
this hot flow is for you.

146
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,869
♪ Mr. Healy
You're a crap sandwich ♪

147
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,497
♪ I'm pure and
You're a crap sandwich ♪

148
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,708
♪ Get some bread
Your balding head ♪

149
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,667
♪ And some more bread ♪

150
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,754
♪ You have your head
Between bread ♪

151
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,631
♪ Crap sandwich, yeah ♪

152
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,425
[upload video tone playing]

153
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,924
[upload complete tone playing]

154
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:34,324
♪ Sitting at
My Casio keyboard... ♪

155
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,321
[notification tone playing]

156
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,372
♪ Otherwise I couldn't play ♪

157
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,250
♪ And sing at the same time ♪

158
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,836
♪ I-I-I'm... ♪

159
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,713
["Tonight" playing]

160
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,217
♪ Nobody wants to be alone ♪

161
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:54,969
♪ But tonight ♪

162
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,306
♪ We're all believers ♪

163
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,101
♪ And I feel all right
The song in my heart... ♪

164
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,184
[Joan] Howie!

165
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,354
Mom.

166
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,022
I'm getting ready to go out.

167
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,274
[Joan] Out? Out with who?

168
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,235
Uh... a friend.

169
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,694
I can have friends here, right?

170
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,547
[Joan] Are you gonna bring him
back to the house?

171
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,739
- No.
- [Joan] All right.

172
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,534
Have fun, bug. I love you.

173
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:22,580
♪ Nobody wants to be alone ♪

174
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,755
[James and Susan arguing]

175
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,023
I can't run this story, Solomon.

176
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,692
It's against every rule here,

177
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,610
and your dad is on the board.

178
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:55,155
My stepdad, and that
doesn't mean I agree.

179
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,657
- I'm my own person.
- Okay, school officials are off limits.

180
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,659
Oh, but what...

181
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:00,577
Okay, fine.

182
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,301
- I'll write about the mayor.
- The mayor.

183
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,430
- The mayor.
- What's the topic?

184
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,707
How he's been
having sex with teenagers.

185
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,709
Another intern's come forward.

186
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,002
It's in today's paper.

187
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,170
Choose another topic.

188
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,130
Religion. See?

189
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,924
We can't write about
anything actually affecting us.

190
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,260
Last week, you vetoed my story

191
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,761
about the stranger danger
sessions

192
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,054
the school keeps holding.

193
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723
Because it's a direct criticism

194
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,600
of the administration's
policies.

195
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,436
They hired experts to remind us

196
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,522
not to let strangers touch us
in our bathing suit areas.

197
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:33,401
That's what they said,
"our bathing suit areas."

198
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,155
- Some kids my age are already having sex, and, I'm not...
- Okay,

199
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,115
you're just trying to
cause a stir,

200
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,326
and that's not
what real journalism is.

201
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,425
You taught me
that real journalism

202
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,789
involves writing
about the truth.

203
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,470
Look at my last article.

204
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,055
I can't submit clips like these

205
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,806
to a top-tier
journalism school.

206
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,392
Solomon, this isn't a debate,
and you can't be in here.

207
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,645
I'm sorry, but
it's hypocritical...

208
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,812
Hey, Ms. Nish.

209
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,733
If you won't print my stories,

210
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,652
then maybe I'll write a new one

211
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,112
about freedom of speech
in high schools.

212
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,906
The Oregonian
might be interested.

213
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,449
[electronic beeping]

214
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,701
Are you recording me?

215
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,578
Just so I don't misquote you.

216
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,871
Oh, my God.

217
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:27,830
You know what?

218
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,958
Then on the record, I say,

219
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:33,252
"Why don't you ask your stepfather
about our school's policies?"

220
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,047
Because he's on the school board
that actually makes them.

221
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,883
I'm sorry, but I can't help you.

222
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,677
I can help you.

223
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,178
Not easy being new.

224
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,638
Takes time to make friends.

225
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,474
Have you thought about a sport?

226
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,017
Lacrosse?

227
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,854
No. I want to start...

228
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,525
We don't have
a Gay-Straight Alliance here,

229
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,151
and when I was in Portland...

230
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,528
You ever played lacrosse?

231
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,951
But do you know why North Salem
doesn't already have a GSA?

232
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,744
If you want to start a new club,

233
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,514
you have to petition
through the school board.

234
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:09,622
I can't help with that.

235
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,041
♪ For I know that I'll never ♪

236
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,503
♪ Live happily ever after ♪

237
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:20,717
♪ 'Til after I'm a bride ♪

238
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,802
Too forte at the end?

239
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,513
"Forte" means loud,
in musical terms.

240
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,408
I'll teach you all the terms.
Don't worry.

241
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,351
Just wish me luck.

242
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,519
Luck.

243
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,031
Did you have fun last night?

244
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,537
♪ ...Happily ever after ♪

245
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:54,292
♪ 'Til after I'm a bride ♪

246
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,211
♪ Then I'll be happily happy ♪

247
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,964
♪ Yes, happily happy... ♪

248
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,510
Hey, Arnett.

249
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,221
How well did you
sweep the stage?

250
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,556
I'm dancing barefoot.

251
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,057
It's clean.

252
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,228
FYI, Mr. Healy,

253
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,148
I'll be performing
all songs as written.

254
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,692
That means that this Lady Larken

255
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:20,943
will still be pregnant,

256
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,696
as per the author's
original intent.

257
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,241
Diwata, honey, I have to manage
complaints from parents.

258
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,785
This is a high school.

259
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,996
We don't want to make it seem like
we're glorifying a pregnant woman

260
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,873
who isn't in
a stable relationship.

261
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,292
It's just a little trashy.

262
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,420
Sorry, Candace.

263
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,925
Marty, if I start to riff,
you gotta hang with me, bud.

264
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,843
Don't get thrown
like last year, okay?

265
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,262
No, Diwata, last year,
we talked about bringing

266
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,972
your own material
in to my auditions.

267
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,849
Chill, Mr. Healy.
It's a medley.

268
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,559
A med... How is that different?

269
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,901
[exhales deeply]

270
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,320
Oh, here we go.

271
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,780
[piano music playing]

272
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:09,492
♪ The actress hasn't
Learned the lines ♪

273
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,703
♪ You'd like to hear ♪

274
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:16,332
♪ She won't join your clubs ♪

275
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,169
♪ She won't dance
In your halls ♪

276
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:24,465
♪ She won't help
The hungry once a month ♪

277
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,968
♪ At your tombolas ♪

278
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:33,516
♪ She'll simply take control
As you disappear ♪

279
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,688
♪ And I am not
Throwin' away my shot ♪

280
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,399
♪ I am not
Throwin' away my shot ♪

281
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,984
♪ Yo, I'm just like my country

282
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,485
♪ I'm young, scrappy
And hungry ♪

283
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,737
♪ No, I'm not
Throwin' away my shot ♪

284
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,490
♪ We're gonna rise up
Time to take a shot ♪

285
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,118
♪ We're gonna rise up
Time to take a shot ♪

286
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,996
♪ We're gonna rise up
Rise up ♪

287
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,832
♪ Rise up, rise up ♪

288
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,461
♪ How would you like it
If you were a man ♪

289
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,004
♪ Playing the part of a toad? ♪

290
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,131
♪ Crawling around on your
Elbows and knees ♪

291
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,883
♪ Eating the dust in the road ♪

292
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,676
♪ Toads, toads ♪

293
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,386
♪ All of your people
Are toads ♪

294
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,619
♪ Then I'll be happily happy ♪

295
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,705
♪ Yes, happily happy ♪

296
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:44,462
♪ And thoroughly satisfied ♪

297
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,131
♪ Satisfied ♪

298
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:51,260
♪ Satisfied ♪

299
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:56,432
♪ Whoa, yeah ♪

300
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,437
Thank you.

301
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,985
[indistinct chatter]

302
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,279
[school bell rings]

303
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,028
[student 1]
Just pick one, Solomon.

304
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:26,963
[student 2]
Yeah, man. Hurry up.

305
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,092
I can't choose
any of these topics.

306
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,845
Then follow the rules,
or you can leave.

307
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,890
I'm sorry, but I don't
have time for this every week.

308
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,567
Great choice.

309
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,744
Hey. I was wondering
if I could interview you

310
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,372
for an article I'm writing
about the auditions...

311
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:02,873
for the school paper.

312
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,417
I'm Solomon.

313
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,335
We're friends on Facebook.

314
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,021
I've liked a lot
of your Instagram posts.

315
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,338
Hey.

316
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,965
[phone vibrating]

317
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,348
Seriously, Mark?

318
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,476
You know, I was once
upon your mattress.

319
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:28,107
Okay, everyone, just remember,
in the words of Stanislavski,

320
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,652
"there are no small parts,
only small actors."

321
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,781
- I got it.
- I knew it.

322
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,949
Yay!

323
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:38,618
I knew you would.

324
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,118
[girls] Yeah.

325
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,151
[Solomon] Hey.

326
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,821
I was wondering if I could
interview you

327
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,365
about these auditions.

328
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:18,991
For the school paper?

329
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,711
[Howie] It's time for North
Salem to have a GSA.

330
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,505
My old school had one,

331
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,799
and most schools in Oregon do,
so don't think I'm asking

332
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,426
for some kind of
fringe thing or whatever.

333
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,598
Well, look, I-I'm proud
of you...

334
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,559
uh, that you have spoken
your mind.

335
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,980
Good for you. Your mom has
raised a fine young man.

336
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,901
But we've considered
a GSA in the past,

337
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,821
and the board's
unanimous decision

338
00:19:56,904 --> 00:20:00,700
has always been that
it's more of a social hour

339
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:06,497
and not a formal club...
that the district should fund.

340
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,999
Well, then, we need to vote again.
I was never part of that.

341
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,335
I was with Howie
when he did the research

342
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,754
on how many schools
actually have it,

343
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,816
- and the overwhelming majority do.
- Mom, Mom, just...

344
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,592
It's very true. Let's at least
have a discussion about it.

345
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,720
No, we'll just put it to a vote.

346
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,388
Well, it's yes from me.

347
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,807
Uh... Nope for me.

348
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,143
Of course, yes.

349
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,310
No.

350
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,147
Uh...

351
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,148
James.

352
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,985
Where are you on the...
On this issue?

353
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,243
I'm a no on the GSA for me.

354
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,870
I agree it's more
of a social hour.

355
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,038
Jesus Christ, James, really?

356
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,374
Okay, noes have it.

357
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,044
Look, Howard, there are
existing clubs

358
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,465
that are lacking
in student interest.

359
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,426
There's... Portuguese Club,

360
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,344
which is hungry for members,

361
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,638
and Recycling Club.

362
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:08,809
- It's not called "Recycling." - He means
the Environmental Action Committee.

363
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,186
Speech and Debate.

364
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,021
But for the record,

365
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:17,026
the district
fully supports gays,

366
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,195
lesbians, and...

367
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,488
Latinos?

368
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,823
Okay. Thank you.

369
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:44,299
[message sent tone playing]

370
00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,836
[message received tone playing]

371
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,775
When I was in high school,

372
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,236
I felt like I had
so much to say,

373
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,029
but nobody was listening.

374
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,657
A lot of movie stars
and politicians

375
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,408
got their start
in Speech and Debate,

376
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,844
because on
the debate side of things,

377
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,189
you have all
kinds of competitions

378
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,038
where you have to make
your point of view

379
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,331
clear and convincing,

380
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,916
and on the speech side
of things,

381
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,793
you have acting competitions.

382
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,461
Through dramatic interpretation,

383
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,589
you get the opportunity
to play all the roles

384
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,466
in a scene yourself,

385
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,970
so that means you're
playing Romeo and Juliet.

386
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,930
So just grab a couple friends.

387
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,932
It only takes, like,
three people minimum

388
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,225
to start a team,

389
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,768
and join Speech and Debate.

390
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,396
It's the only club
designed for you to find

391
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,356
and strengthen your voice.

392
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,043
I want to open myself.

393
00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,837
I want the light of God.

394
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,423
I want the sweet love of Jesus.

395
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,092
I danced for the Devil.
I saw him.

396
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,845
I went back to Jesus,
and I kissed his hand.

397
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,639
I saw Sarah Good with the Devil.

398
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,224
I saw Goody Osborne
with the Devil.

399
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,602
I saw Bridget Bishop
with the Devil.

400
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:22,026
♪ No more time for
"My Country, 'Tis of Thee" ♪

401
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:25,904
♪ From now on,
"It's my country 'tis of me" ♪

402
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:27,698
I don't need friends.

403
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,700
I don't need to be
in the school musical

404
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,577
that the school board
has frauded.

405
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:34,204
I have music in my body.

406
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,790
I am music.

407
00:23:40,294 --> 00:23:42,379
Mr. Healy thinks
an unwed mother

408
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:43,797
is too racy for us.

409
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:48,135
Are we in Salem, Oregon,
or Salem, Massachusetts,

410
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:51,597
circa 16... whenever the heck
those witches were being hunted?

411
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,890
1692.

412
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:56,226
♪ Can't burn me
This witch is fireproof ♪

413
00:23:56,310 --> 00:24:00,439
♪ So try and hang me
And see how strong my neck is ♪

414
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,316
[Marie] Diwata, what
is going on in there?

415
00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:03,399
No, Mom...

416
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,070
But I'm an actress.

417
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:08,739
Speech and Debate sounds like
homework that nerds want to do

418
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,825
because regular homework
isn't, I don't know, enough?

419
00:24:11,909 --> 00:24:14,620
Just read the part that says
"D.I." on the home page.

420
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,414
They call it competitive acting.

421
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:19,291
You'll see why I called you.

422
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:31,011
[rock music playing]

423
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,658
[Diwata] Welcome to North Salem's
revived Speech and Debate team.

424
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,035
My name's Diwata,
and as team captain...

425
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:56,453
Self-appointed team captain.

426
00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:57,913
I'm not acknowledging
that remark.

427
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,040
And I'm Solomon, and please know

428
00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:02,167
that you can come to me
with any questions.

429
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:03,252
Or you could come to me,

430
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,003
so Solomon doesn't
get bugged too often.

431
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,256
We're gonna go over
different debate categories.

432
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,716
Hey, can we play icebreakers?

433
00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:10,843
No. I'm running
the meeting, please.

434
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,555
Should have played icebreakers.

435
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,724
Um, who's our faculty Advisor?

436
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,434
Who's gonna sign my transcript?

437
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:19,810
Uh...

438
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:22,771
We don't have an official
faculty Advisor yet,

439
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,524
but it shouldn't be a problem,
given the decent turnout today.

440
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:28,985
Uh...

441
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:32,489
Solomon, tell them about
the tournament in the city.

442
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:34,867
- We travel, people.
- Okay. Okay.

443
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:36,160
The Portland Invitational

444
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,954
- is two weeks away...
- But first, travel is... Yes?

445
00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,748
I don't get this. Who are you?

446
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,207
And who are you?

447
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,709
This is so weird.

448
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,670
I'm Diwata, and this is Solomon.

449
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,923
My background is in legitimate
theater and blogging.

450
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:53,010
Solomon's more into the debate
events, like Lincoln-Mercury.

451
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,636
It's Lincoln-Douglas,

452
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:57,306
after the President
and Stephen Douglas.

453
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,867
- Right...
- It's one-on-one debating.

454
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,602
Call that category LD, that's
the lingo for that event.

455
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,246
I'll teach you all the terms.
Don't worry.

456
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,396
I'm not worried.

457
00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:06,607
Okay, if we could all
get into a circle...

458
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:09,193
This year's debate topic is...

459
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:10,736
Resolved.

460
00:26:11,111 --> 00:26:14,531
When in conflict, an
individual's freedom of speech

461
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:18,118
should be valued over
a community's moral standards.

462
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:21,580
In a year with our mayor...

463
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:24,208
He's in trouble, and...

464
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:27,127
With the school censoring
our newspaper articles,

465
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,755
this is pretty relevant, yeah?

466
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,509
Solomon, you're
freaking people out.

467
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:35,427
It can be fun, too.

468
00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:38,806
The best category is
called Dramatic Interpretation,

469
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:42,142
where you perform all the parts
of a play yourself.

470
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:43,852
Witness.

471
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:50,275
Welcome to a tale of witchcraft,

472
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:53,195
where Puritan Mary Warren
stands before the court

473
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,989
unsure of whether
or not telling the truth

474
00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:59,493
will set her free
or set her on fire.

475
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,453
So get ready.

476
00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:04,957
And if you feel flames,
don't pull the fire alarm.

477
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,876
Things are just
really heating up in...

478
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,880
The Crucible, by Arthur Miller.

479
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,174
[motorized wheelchair
engine revving]

480
00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:20,848
I'm saying that
we aren't even official

481
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:23,225
until we have
at least three members.

482
00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:25,310
Three members.
How hard can that be?

483
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:28,438
[Casey singing]
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

484
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,900
You guys shouldn't
be hanging out in the hallways.

485
00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:34,963
Casey shouldn't be allowed to sing those
notes, and you shouldn't be allowed

486
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,631
- to direct traffic.
- Oh, my gosh. Diwata.

487
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,073
We're leaving. We're leaving.

488
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,828
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

489
00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:45,789
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

490
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:48,083
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

491
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:50,252
Every guy in school
has a boner for her.

492
00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,090
Oh, you, too?

493
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,926
Great ass, right?

494
00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:01,972
Here's the thing. After one
baby, it'll sink to the floor,

495
00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:04,141
but she won't stop singing,

496
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:07,102
and you'll be stuck listening
to that off-key screeching

497
00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,185
everywhere.

498
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:10,355
The car, the shower.

499
00:28:10,439 --> 00:28:11,899
- Is that really what you want?
- No.

500
00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:13,942
I don't want Casey.

501
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,070
I'm kind of seeing someone else.

502
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:20,198
Is she from Canada
or youth group?

503
00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:23,076
Shut up. We met online.

504
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:25,120
Online.

505
00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:27,748
Only losers meet people online.

506
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:32,711
Only losers.

507
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,634
I know how to get
our third member.

508
00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:46,350
- No. No.
- Yes. Yes.

509
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:48,274
No, there's no way
you could get me to do this.

510
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:49,310
Can you please not shout?

511
00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:51,980
Look, I saw your boardroom
performance.

512
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:54,691
- You are a terrible public speaker.
- It wasn't a performance.

513
00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:57,319
This is the perfect way
for you to get your...

514
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,947
whatever you call it,
your lesbians-in-love club.

515
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,366
You really cannot be back here.

516
00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:06,995
Listen, I watched your podcasts,

517
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:10,040
and they're entertaining,

518
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:12,501
but I'm not about
to join the geek club.

519
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:15,379
You watched them?
You think I'm entertaining?

520
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,882
Thank you. I think you're...

521
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:23,178
too young to meet teachers
in public parks at night.

522
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:26,890
You don't know me at all.

523
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:29,601
What I do know is
if you join the team,

524
00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,228
and debate issues
you care about,

525
00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:33,689
while wearing the skinny jeans
you're rocking right now,

526
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:35,816
all the boys will be
begging for your number,

527
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:37,985
after you beat them down
with your passionate words.

528
00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:45,033
What do you even need a GSA for?

529
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,994
Homophobia is so 1985.

530
00:29:47,077 --> 00:29:49,121
- No. No, no, no. Please.
- Yes.

531
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,391
You have less to worry
about than other minorities,

532
00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:52,416
less than women.

533
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:53,875
I'm a double minority.

534
00:29:53,959 --> 00:29:55,919
I'm female and Filipino.

535
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,129
[laughs]

536
00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,506
You don't look Filipino.

537
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,049
You don't look gay.

538
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:04,885
Yes, you do.

539
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:07,472
It's the hair, isn't it?

540
00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,309
Is it the hair?

541
00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:12,561
Yes, Blondeboi.

542
00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:15,856
And PS, what shade
of blonde are you, ebony?

543
00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:23,363
You just don't really...
[sighs]

544
00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,825
I'm an alien in this town.

545
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:28,827
When I was in Portland,

546
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,413
at least there were
other guys that were like me.

547
00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:33,582
Portland, you say,

548
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,501
home of the first
competition of the year,

549
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:37,878
just two weeks away.

550
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:41,048
Think of it as a free trip
back to your roots.

551
00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:46,094
So you want to know about
Speech and Debate?

552
00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:47,679
I wish...

553
00:30:47,763 --> 00:30:48,889
I wish...

554
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,098
I whiff.

555
00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,312
Someone's been wishing
for fun, friends,

556
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,605
and new adventures.

557
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,315
Well, I have the epitome
of success

558
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:00,359
for all promising
high schoolers.

559
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:04,946
Speech and Debate?

560
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,448
But I'm interested in talking

561
00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:08,825
about things affecting
our country right now.

562
00:31:09,159 --> 00:31:11,244
Well, Gideon, your wish
is granted.

563
00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:13,914
Since you are such
a skilled writer,

564
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,874
why not try Persuasive Speaking?

565
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,501
You get ten minutes
to give a speech

566
00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:20,170
on whatever your heart desires.

567
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,173
Or if you're feeling
argumentative...

568
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:24,817
[politician speaking] we're
faced each time with a crisis.

569
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,511
Hey, wait!
What's in this for me?

570
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:30,889
Lucy, with your flair,
you'll shine

571
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:32,974
in the "Interp" categories,
like...

572
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:34,810
Dramatic Interpretation...

573
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,730
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

574
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:41,316
Group Interpretation...

575
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,405
I have something worse
than stomach cancer,

576
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:47,864
and you gave it to me!

577
00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:50,700
The only thing
I gave you was love.

578
00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:53,662
Love and stomach cancer.

579
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:01,461
I can't think of a single thing

580
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,088
about that video
that wasn't awful.

581
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,550
The genie wasn't so bad.

582
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:08,677
You're a creepshow.

583
00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:12,556
We need to pick
what events we'll do.

584
00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:16,560
I don't want to get
laughed out of Portland.

585
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:18,854
If we're gonna do this,
we need to rehearse.

586
00:32:19,229 --> 00:32:21,440
Sorry. Please continue,
Professor.

587
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:26,111
I'll take Persuasive Speaking.

588
00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:27,486
[chalk breaking]

589
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,282
Resolved. When in conflict,

590
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,784
an individual's
freedom of speech

591
00:32:32,868 --> 00:32:35,787
should be valued over
a community's moral standards.

592
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,749
Wait. If it's resolved,
why do we have to debate it?

593
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,335
The school board has been
shielding students

594
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:44,588
from important discussions
about abortion...

595
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,107
- I don't care what you're
saying, - religion,

596
00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:47,567
- because all I see is robot.
- Politics.

597
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:48,711
But who are they protecting?

598
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,759
Be a real boy.

599
00:32:49,843 --> 00:32:52,345
Or the adults who would
rather ignore our issues

600
00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:53,972
rather than engage them?

601
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,849
Eye contact. Solomon.

602
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:57,976
I saw Goody Osborn
with the Devil.

603
00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:00,145
I saw Bridget Bishop
with the Devil.

604
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,855
I saw Goody Hawkins
with the Devil.

605
00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:05,942
Looks like you're having an
orgasm while getting murdered.

606
00:33:06,026 --> 00:33:08,987
[Solomon] Community's morals
don't include homosexuality,

607
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:11,090
- shouldn't be forced to start a GSA.
- [Howie] See, that's because

608
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:13,450
in the Constitution,
it clearly states all men

609
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:15,160
are created equal,
not all straight men.

610
00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:17,078
And no one's forcing it
on the community.

611
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:18,848
Why shouldn't communities
have a right to censor plays

612
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:21,291
or change newspaper articles if
they incite harmful activity?

613
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,060
That's nice. All right,
well, I'm gonna kick your ass.

614
00:33:23,084 --> 00:33:24,669
- Come at me!
- Oh, whoa. Hey.

615
00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:25,921
The school board needs to

616
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:27,422
- stop shielding students
- Eyes.

617
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:28,649
- From meaningful discussions
- Hands.

618
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:29,549
Where are your hands?

619
00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:32,219
About abortion, religion, sex...

620
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,821
- Your spirit animal is wounded.
- Politics...

621
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:34,885
You hit him with your car.

622
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:36,532
- Indeed, the very debate about
- Don't let him die.

623
00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:38,016
Whether a GSA should be...

624
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,935
- Radiate likability.
- Officially...

625
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:41,269
be, should be,

626
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,522
Stop thinking about genies.

627
00:33:44,064 --> 00:33:45,941
But who are they protecting?

628
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,317
Where are your hands?

629
00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:51,506
[Solomon] So why should a
community stand by a school play

630
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,114
if its characters
behave in a manner

631
00:33:53,198 --> 00:33:54,741
that encourages lewd behavior?

632
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:58,370
Well, do we take The Da
Vinci Code off the shelves

633
00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:00,539
to keep kids from
stealing the Mona Lisa?

634
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:05,627
Who's my bitch now?

635
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,379
Giles is dead.

636
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,131
They press him, John.

637
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,008
Press?

638
00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:15,637
Great stones,
they lay upon his chest

639
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,514
until he pled aye or nay.

640
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,560
They say he give them
but two words.

641
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:26,481
"More weight," he says and died.

642
00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,609
"More weight."

643
00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,904
Ah, crap. I forget the rest.

644
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:34,948
Um... Okay.
That's a wrap, boys.

645
00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:36,616
I'm meeting
with Bellingham tomorrow

646
00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:37,969
to get him to sign off
on Portland.

647
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,411
I thought you
already had approval.

648
00:34:39,494 --> 00:34:40,996
I do. Relax.

649
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,665
I babysit his kid Jean, who's
completely obsessed with me.

650
00:34:43,748 --> 00:34:45,667
Kids love me, just FYI,

651
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,168
so there won't be any problems.

652
00:34:47,252 --> 00:34:49,129
This is a big problem.

653
00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,589
I can't let you guys travel,

654
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:52,048
not under the school's name,

655
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:53,633
not without an approved budget,

656
00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:57,596
a schedule,
and a faculty Advisor.

657
00:34:57,679 --> 00:34:59,320
- Are there conditions?
- What did he say?

658
00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:01,641
I need to get
a faculty Advisor to sign off,

659
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:04,436
and I know someone
who will do it, Mrs. Poluski.

660
00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:05,955
- But what about money, though?
- Who's she?

661
00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:08,332
Because I'm working two shifts
and I definitely can't afford...

662
00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:10,358
Relax, ladies. Relax.

663
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:12,777
We get reimbursed as long
as we collect all the receipts.

664
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:14,112
That's how the system works.

665
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:16,281
I'll just use my mom's
emergency credit card until...

666
00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,575
Wait. Who is Mrs. Poluski?

667
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:24,456
Mrs. Poluski, these are
the other star competitors,

668
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,082
Howie and Solomon.

669
00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:27,751
Guys, this is Mrs. Poluski.

670
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:32,464
Poluski is name
of Serbian rapist husband.

671
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,883
I am Oksana.

672
00:35:38,011 --> 00:35:39,638
Oh, my God.
Did you just pay her?

673
00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:41,401
- Let's talk about our uniforms.
- Uniform.

674
00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:43,141
You have to wear a suit.

675
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:44,225
I don't own a suit.

676
00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:45,494
Well, borrow one from Solomon.

677
00:35:45,518 --> 00:35:46,436
Have you seen his wardrobe?

678
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,437
- Hey, Casey.
- Exactly.

679
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,332
[Diwata] He dresses like
he's already in this club,

680
00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:50,523
so let's go with that.

681
00:35:50,774 --> 00:35:51,691
[Howie] I'm not even his size.

682
00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:52,895
[Diwata] We'll make it work.

683
00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:57,947
Are you cheating on your
Internet girlfriend already?

684
00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:02,118
["Rollercoaster" playing]

685
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,412
♪ So come a little closer ♪

686
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:07,832
♪ There is something
I can tell ya ♪

687
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:11,044
♪ You are such
A roller coaster ♪

688
00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:13,880
♪ And a killer queen you are ♪

689
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:16,633
♪ We took the bones out
From the road ♪

690
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:19,302
♪ Those endless nights
That we traveled we stole... ♪

691
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,386
[knocking on door]

692
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:21,721
Come in.

693
00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,475
♪ And lit a fire
While I waited for more ♪

694
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:27,227
♪ And now I'm running
And I won't stop ♪

695
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:28,395
♪ I don't wanna go ♪

696
00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:30,230
♪ I think about it
Every day and night ♪

697
00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:31,815
♪ I can't let go ♪

698
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,650
♪ Hey, I'm never the same ♪

699
00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:37,529
♪ It's a hundred miles an hour
On a dirt road running away ♪

700
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,989
♪ So come a little closer ♪

701
00:36:40,949 --> 00:36:41,949
♪ There is something... ♪

702
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:43,910
[switching through
radio stations]

703
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:45,995
Finally, no more
small-town radio.

704
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:49,582
♪ And you don't belong
To me, yeah, yeah ♪

705
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:52,377
Whoa. Dude,
that was aggressive.

706
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:56,339
Sorry. It's... that song.

707
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:57,674
What?

708
00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:01,177
Fine.

709
00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:04,973
So, [sighs] when I was nine,

710
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,391
I was a Boy Scout...

711
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,226
[Diwata heartily laughing]

712
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,936
What's funny about that?

713
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:12,063
Everything.
Literally everything.

714
00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:15,275
Thank you. So,
for talent show that year,

715
00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:17,878
all the other kids were doing,
like, wrestling moves

716
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,154
and tying knots,

717
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,156
and, um, I decided I was going

718
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,951
to make up my own dance
to that song.

719
00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:29,706
And the dance had all
these really special moves,

720
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:33,460
and I was gonna teach
all the other kids, but...

721
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:37,881
Don't feel bad.

722
00:37:37,964 --> 00:37:39,090
Mary Warren got in trouble

723
00:37:39,174 --> 00:37:41,176
for dancing naked
in the forest with Tituba.

724
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,677
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

725
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,555
Guys, Mary Warren is the star

726
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:46,973
of the new musical I'm writing.

727
00:37:47,557 --> 00:37:50,560
It's time the leader of naked
forest dancing gets her due.

728
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:52,520
It's called "Crucible,"

729
00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:54,689
based on Arthur Miller's play...

730
00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:56,441
So what happened with the dance?

731
00:37:57,317 --> 00:37:58,777
Oh, um...

732
00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:01,571
No, we... I actually
never ended up doing it.

733
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,950
I did archery, or they ran out
of time or something. I forget.

734
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:08,161
Wow. Really good story, Howie.

735
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:12,040
♪ Yeah, yeah
Freedom ♪

736
00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:15,210
♪ Oh!
Freedom ♪

737
00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:17,253
♪ Freedom ♪

738
00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:24,552
Oh, guys, this competition
is gonna be so chill.

739
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:28,616
- [group leader] Holy...
- [competitors] Ghost!

740
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:29,641
- Holy...
- Ghost!

741
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:30,725
- Holy...
- Ghost!

742
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:31,643
- Holy...
- Ghost!

743
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:33,937
[indistinct chatter]

744
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:35,814
[girl 1]
There was blood in my eyes...

745
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,566
[girl 2] And mama said, "Don't
forget your little brother,"

746
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,903
so I wrapped him up tight,
and off we went.

747
00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:45,281
- Holy whoa.
- Excuse me.

748
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,450
[Solomon] This is...

749
00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:49,035
This is cool.

750
00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:58,002
My first event is upstairs.

751
00:38:58,086 --> 00:39:01,548
And mine's in the library,
so I need...

752
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:06,594
I'm right here. So...

753
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:12,517
Okay, come on.
Circle up. Bring it in.

754
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,352
Can we get in a circle, please?

755
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:16,062
This is a triangle.

756
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:18,022
- Holy...
- Ghost!

757
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:19,732
Okay, I just want to say

758
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:22,068
don't be intimidated
by these guys, okay?

759
00:39:22,151 --> 00:39:24,529
You guys have done
such amazing work

760
00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:27,615
these last few weeks, and you
have something they don't, okay?

761
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:28,699
So just remember that.

762
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:30,869
We have the Holy Spirit
on our side. Who's on yours?

763
00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:33,121
A gay guy and an overachiever.

764
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,249
That's like our whole school.

765
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:40,461
[bell ringing]

766
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:44,022
[judge] Welcome to the first round
of the Lincoln-Douglas debate.

767
00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:46,801
Competitors, you have six
minutes to make your case.

768
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:48,636
[bell dings]

769
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:49,864
[speaking very quickly]
Resolved: When in conflict,

770
00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,156
an individual's freedom of
speech should be valued over

771
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:54,934
a community's moral standard. The response
is that moral standards have no standard...

772
00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:58,646
This concept... page 170.
Contention one,

773
00:39:58,730 --> 00:39:59,957
oppression crushes
human dignity.

774
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:01,876
By its very definition,
oppression is cruel and unjust.

775
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,086
The question becomes, how much
weight should we give to this pain?

776
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:06,279
Justice also maintains
credibility as a central value,

777
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:08,465
because the concept which regulates
the terms of all social contracts

778
00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:09,675
as well as being
an unlimited good...

779
00:40:09,699 --> 00:40:10,575
[bell ringing]

780
00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:14,120
People talk down to us because
they're looking down at us.

781
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,372
Being short in America today

782
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:19,042
means that we're facing
a variety of prejudices,

783
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:21,419
and I am here to convince you

784
00:40:21,502 --> 00:40:23,713
that those challenges
and prejudices

785
00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:27,216
that height-challenged
Americans face today

786
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:30,970
are not only real,
but pervasive,

787
00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:32,847
and they should be dealt with.

788
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,308
No matter what your size,

789
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,643
you can soar to new heights.

790
00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:38,561
Thank you.

791
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,146
[audience applauds]

792
00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:41,564
[bell ringing]

793
00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:45,151
Join me on one woman's
extraordinary quest,

794
00:40:45,234 --> 00:40:48,571
for though we all have to make
tough decisions in life,

795
00:40:48,655 --> 00:40:50,990
a few of us will ever
make a decision as difficult

796
00:40:51,074 --> 00:40:55,161
as Sophie's Choice,
by Alan Pakula.

797
00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:05,421
[firm voice] You may keep
one of your children.

798
00:41:06,506 --> 00:41:08,383
[nervous voice]
I-I have to choose?

799
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:10,051
I cannot choose.

800
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,098
[firm voice] Be quiet, or I
will send them both over there.

801
00:41:15,348 --> 00:41:18,059
[judge]
Up next is contestant 89,

802
00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,769
speaking for the opposition.

803
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,731
But we're supposed to deliver

804
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:26,651
our prepared topics, aren't we?

805
00:41:26,734 --> 00:41:29,404
Right. You can speak
in agreement in round two.

806
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:31,906
For now, you need
to argue the opposition.

807
00:41:38,871 --> 00:41:39,871
Um...

808
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:43,710
Okay.

809
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:53,011
My opposition would be...

810
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:57,557
that short people...

811
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,601
are in fact...

812
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:05,606
less intelligent
than their taller counterparts.

813
00:42:13,406 --> 00:42:15,867
The speaker's weak thesis

814
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:19,120
was supported
by citing countless

815
00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:21,706
well-known,
successful short people,

816
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,333
but where is the science?

817
00:42:25,752 --> 00:42:27,962
If we're not using facts,

818
00:42:28,755 --> 00:42:32,800
then I could similarly surmise

819
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:37,513
that being short
does in fact make you stupid,

820
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:43,561
because you can't see as much

821
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:44,937
as taller people,

822
00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:48,441
and you don't have
as big a brain cavity.

823
00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:53,613
Using the speaker's logic,

824
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:58,618
I'd argue that being short
has a lot to do

825
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,953
with how doomed you are in life.

826
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:04,707
Contestant 89,

827
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:07,085
you were supposed
to argue the opposition

828
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:08,920
to your own prepared topic.

829
00:43:20,306 --> 00:43:22,475
Welcome to a tale of witchcraft,

830
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:25,770
where Puritan Mary Warren
stands before the courtroom

831
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:28,397
unsure of whether
or not telling the truth

832
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:32,193
will set her free,
or set her on fire.

833
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:33,861
So get ready.

834
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,363
And if you feel flames,

835
00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:37,156
don't pull the fire alarm.

836
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,826
Things are just
really heating up in...

837
00:43:42,078 --> 00:43:43,204
[audience murmuring]

838
00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:46,332
The Crucible, by Arthur Miller.

839
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:50,545
Why are you concealing?

840
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,131
Have you sold yourself
to Lucifer?

841
00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:55,484
[nervously]
I'm a good girl. I...

842
00:43:55,508 --> 00:43:56,676
Tituba made me do it!

843
00:43:56,759 --> 00:43:58,302
She makes me drink blood!

844
00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:01,305
Blood? My baby's blood?

845
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:04,183
No. No, chicken blood.

846
00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:05,768
I give she chicken blood.

847
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,695
[audience gasping and murmuring]

848
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,950
[speaking very quickly] Clearly
society can have too much justice...

849
00:44:21,033 --> 00:44:24,078
is human dignity. People as diverse
as Martin Luther King, Jr...

850
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:26,974
Malcolm X, Susan B. Anthony were willing
to risk themselves for this concept,

851
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:29,083
And that's why freedom
of speech isn't free at all.

852
00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:33,963
Contestant 43,
you have three minutes

853
00:44:34,046 --> 00:44:35,256
for your rebuttal.

854
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:03,993
- Congratulations.
- [announcer] A job well done,

855
00:45:04,076 --> 00:45:06,162
all those competitors
who have advanced.

856
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:09,040
Please proceed
to your next round.

857
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:11,417
For those who did not advance,

858
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:14,253
the cafeteria is available
for a short time

859
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:16,255
and accepts all
major credit cards.

860
00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:19,926
Finally, congratulations
to the Holy Ghost Academy...

861
00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:21,677
Hey, is that you, man?

862
00:45:22,011 --> 00:45:23,763
I heard what you did
on your PS-Opp.

863
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,306
Can we get a picture?

864
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,558
[announcer] Thanks to
everyone participating

865
00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:30,102
in the 55th annual Portland...

866
00:45:30,186 --> 00:45:31,187
Thanks, man.

867
00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:34,273
What was that?

868
00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:36,359
It's nothing.

869
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:38,569
I made a mistake.
Can we go now?

870
00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:40,071
[girl]
That is the kid...

871
00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:42,239
I can't believe
I cared about this.

872
00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:43,865
This is so stupid.

873
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:45,701
- Holy...
- Ghost!

874
00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:46,994
- Holy...
- Ghost!

875
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,287
- Holy...
- Ghost!

876
00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:49,413
- Holy...
- Ghost!

877
00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:50,497
- Holy...
- Ghost!

878
00:45:50,790 --> 00:45:54,835
Well... we can't just
go home now, can we?

879
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:56,337
- Holy...
- Ghost!

880
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,421
- Holy...
- Ghost!

881
00:45:57,505 --> 00:45:58,505
Come on.

882
00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:03,469
[Solomon] My parents are going to
kill me if I'm not home in time.

883
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,264
Chill out. It's happy hour,
and you don't look happy.

884
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:08,891
Get your fakes out.

885
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:10,434
My fake what?

886
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:17,608
No. We have to go home now.

887
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:19,026
Let's just vote on it.

888
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,117
[dance music playing]

889
00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:34,291
I love how hot I am in gay bars.

890
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:35,375
[Howie chuckles]

891
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:40,171
Give him a second.

892
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,174
- You going? Okay.
- Yeah. You good?

893
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,258
Yeah.

894
00:46:48,931 --> 00:46:51,183
Your friend looks
pretty miserable over there.

895
00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:53,602
It's been a long day.

896
00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:55,438
Any suggestions?

897
00:47:10,786 --> 00:47:13,831
They tell me not to write
about the mayor, I don't.

898
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:16,125
I don't write about
you and Healy, either.

899
00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:19,295
I give in to everyone,
and where does it get me?

900
00:47:19,628 --> 00:47:21,297
Who told you about me and Healy?

901
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:28,345
I should still write
an article on it.

902
00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:30,014
I might.

903
00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:33,309
It's news, real news.

904
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:35,620
He shouldn't be allowed
to teach at our school,

905
00:47:35,644 --> 00:47:36,479
and you...

906
00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:37,622
You don't know
anything about what happened.

907
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:40,775
I can guess,
but I know it's pretty gross,

908
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:41,900
and illegal.

909
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:51,118
First of all, I'm 18,
which means I'm an adult,

910
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:52,745
so I can talk to
whoever I want, okay?

911
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:54,580
You look like
you could use a drink.

912
00:47:54,663 --> 00:47:56,415
You look like
you could use a shower.

913
00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:06,383
You know, it must be
really sad being you,

914
00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:08,844
obsessed with
everyone else's life,

915
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,638
but not having one of your own.

916
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:18,729
I don't want to be like this.

917
00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:28,864
Then don't.

918
00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:43,212
What?

919
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:44,588
What was that all about?

920
00:48:45,381 --> 00:48:47,967
The bartender gave me a Molly,
so I gave it to Solomon.

921
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:49,093
What?

922
00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:51,754
He needs a little pick-me-up.

923
00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:52,972
You're crazy.

924
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:54,890
[Howie laughing]
I know.

925
00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:00,521
Didn't even get cast as Tituba.

926
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:03,732
Healy says it was a race thing,
which, in my opinion,

927
00:49:03,816 --> 00:49:05,901
is a totally amateur
point of view, but...

928
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:09,446
Baby girl,
you're not even black.

929
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:10,990
How you gonna be Tituba?

930
00:49:11,532 --> 00:49:14,577
Uh, well, hold up, Waleed.
Back it up.

931
00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:17,329
Historically, Tituba
was South American Arawak,

932
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:19,915
some shit like that, so...
Hey, Howie.

933
00:49:19,999 --> 00:49:21,584
Settle this debate for us.

934
00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:23,377
You've read The Crucible, right?

935
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:24,295
[vomiting]

936
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:25,378
Oh, my God.

937
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:28,632
- Really? Really, wonder boy?
- Hey.

938
00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:30,593
Get somebody to clean this up.

939
00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:31,844
[indistinct chatter]

940
00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:33,220
I'm gonna go get the car.

941
00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:35,097
[drunkenly] Ladies, man.

942
00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:37,600
Oh, it's so awesome.

943
00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:41,562
Guess what. I'm a lady's man.

944
00:49:44,315 --> 00:49:45,399
[sighs]

945
00:49:46,942 --> 00:49:51,655
I try to get with girls,
but it's like...

946
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,366
- what's wrong with me?
- Okay, okay, okay, just...

947
00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,785
Just calm down, buddy, okay?

948
00:49:56,869 --> 00:49:57,745
I'm not handsome.

949
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:01,373
No. No, you're handsome.
It's just...

950
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:05,252
all of your shirts have
alligators on 'em.

951
00:50:05,711 --> 00:50:07,296
It's like you're always
in a costume.

952
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,964
It's like you have
no personality.

953
00:50:09,048 --> 00:50:10,966
All right? Maybe that's why
you have no friends.

954
00:50:11,050 --> 00:50:12,676
Crap! They towed my car!

955
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,387
I was only maybe three feet
into the no parking zone.

956
00:50:15,471 --> 00:50:17,389
Howie, what time
is the last bus home?

957
00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:20,392
[announcer over PA]
Last call for bus 49,

958
00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:22,269
local service to Eugene,

959
00:50:22,353 --> 00:50:24,104
first stop Salem.

960
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:26,625
- Bus leaving in three minutes.
- [Diwata] It's so slow.

961
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:27,524
Okay.

962
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:29,735
[announcer over PA]
All passengers should be aboard

963
00:50:29,818 --> 00:50:33,239
for bus 49,
local service to Eugene,

964
00:50:33,322 --> 00:50:34,907
- first stop Salem.
- Thank you.

965
00:50:35,532 --> 00:50:37,159
Bus leaves in three minutes.

966
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:39,411
Yes. Yes, it's all right.

967
00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:40,621
Okay?

968
00:50:41,330 --> 00:50:42,330
Okay.

969
00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:43,582
Okay.

970
00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:48,337
Ma'am, hi. So sorry.

971
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,005
This is the last bus
to Salem, right?

972
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:51,775
- [bus operator] It sure is.
- Oh, thank God.

973
00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:55,010
[sighs in relief] Okay, we
would love three tickets.

974
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:56,720
- [panting]
- Mmhmm.

975
00:50:56,804 --> 00:50:58,180
Uh... Oh!

976
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,016
Wait. Where's Solomon?

977
00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:02,869
[Howie] Is that him right...

978
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,937
- [Diwata] Oh, my God.
- [Howie] Solomon! Solomon!

979
00:51:05,521 --> 00:51:06,922
[Howie]
Solomon, what are you doing?

980
00:51:07,398 --> 00:51:09,275
- I hate my clothes.
- [Diwata] Solomon!

981
00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:11,694
What the hell are you doing?
We're gonna miss the bus!

982
00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:12,778
Why do you hate me?

983
00:51:12,861 --> 00:51:14,547
We could talk about this
when we're on the bus, okay?

984
00:51:14,571 --> 00:51:17,908
- Can we...
- Get him out! Oh, God.

985
00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:18,992
[Solomon grunting]

986
00:51:19,159 --> 00:51:20,845
Solomon, just,
just give me your hand, okay?

987
00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:22,288
- Stop it!
- Oh!

988
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:24,665
Guys, come on. You guys...

989
00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:27,751
Where's my phone? Oh, no.

990
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:29,086
Sorry.

991
00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:32,298
I thought you'd be
more fun on drugs.

992
00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:34,091
Guys, I promise,
once we get on that bus,

993
00:51:34,174 --> 00:51:35,968
we're gonna have
a good laugh about all this.

994
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,055
Drugs?

995
00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:41,598
You gave me drugs?

996
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:46,812
I thought this is
what being drunk was like.

997
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:56,488
Hi. We'd like your finest suite
near the Jacuzzi, please.

998
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:07,333
Okay, come on.

999
00:52:07,416 --> 00:52:10,044
Go right... right there.

1000
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,128
There you go.

1001
00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:12,921
[sighs]
Oh, my gosh.

1002
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:15,799
Why does my head feel so heavy?

1003
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:19,053
Can you feel my head, please?

1004
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,220
Feel it.

1005
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,097
[Diwata and Howie giggling]

1006
00:52:22,389 --> 00:52:23,599
[groaning]

1007
00:52:23,682 --> 00:52:25,601
Let me get you some water.

1008
00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:27,311
You're gonna be okay.
Let me just...

1009
00:52:29,355 --> 00:52:31,440
I can't believe
you gave me drugs.

1010
00:52:32,024 --> 00:52:33,275
What kind of drug is this?

1011
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:34,943
When is it gonna be over?

1012
00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:38,614
Okay, Solomon, I just texted
your mom so she won't worry.

1013
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:40,616
[phone beeps]

1014
00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,204
This is not our son.

1015
00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:49,416
Call Marie.

1016
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:52,836
I can't believe all this stuff
is included with the room.

1017
00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,839
Howie, free hot cocoa mix.

1018
00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:57,006
It's free.

1019
00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,555
Here you go. Drink that.

1020
00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:07,267
- Is my head the same size as yours?
- [phone vibrating]

1021
00:53:09,103 --> 00:53:10,187
Crap.

1022
00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:12,773
Hi, Mom.

1023
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:16,193
Find out what to believe.

1024
00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:18,278
His parents are already
here at work.

1025
00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:20,197
Well, you stay put, okay?

1026
00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:22,491
Okay. Goodbye.

1027
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:24,993
They're in a hotel in Portland.
They're safe.

1028
00:53:25,869 --> 00:53:28,163
I just don't see why we need
to rush there right now.

1029
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:30,016
They're gonna be home
first thing in the morning.

1030
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,167
Okay, it's all right.
I can go pick them up.

1031
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,062
I'll see if I can
take off from work.

1032
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:36,088
I have to drive
Diwata's car home anyway.

1033
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:41,218
I knew it.

1034
00:53:41,510 --> 00:53:44,221
I warned you this would happen if
we put him in a public school,

1035
00:53:44,596 --> 00:53:45,596
didn't I?

1036
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,183
I'll see you in the morning.

1037
00:53:50,018 --> 00:53:51,645
What you thinking about, Howie?

1038
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,774
I'm thinking about
all the hot guys

1039
00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:58,110
you promised I was gonna meet
at the competition.

1040
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:01,405
What are you
thinking about, Solomon?

1041
00:54:02,531 --> 00:54:03,740
Abraham Lincoln.

1042
00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:06,410
When I was a kid,

1043
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,328
I got second place
in the national

1044
00:54:08,412 --> 00:54:10,172
"Write and illustrate
your own book" contest.

1045
00:54:10,456 --> 00:54:12,207
I wrote my book on him.

1046
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:13,459
On Abraham Lincoln?

1047
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:15,586
[sighs]
As a teenager.

1048
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:19,840
I have such a deep respect
for Abraham Lincoln.

1049
00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:22,759
Okay, when I was in fifth grade
I entered that competition,

1050
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,052
and it wasn't national.

1051
00:54:24,136 --> 00:54:25,596
It was just
three school districts.

1052
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:28,265
Okay, that's enough.
We're going to the Jacuzzi.

1053
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:29,933
- It's a pool.
- It's water.

1054
00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:36,857
Howie, I've got a plan.

1055
00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:38,317
For our next tournament,

1056
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,027
we need to do
Group Interpretation.

1057
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,528
No, I'm done
with Speech and Debate.

1058
00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:43,655
Group Interpretation
is what we should have done.

1059
00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:46,867
Next time, we'll compete
together with our own material.

1060
00:54:47,034 --> 00:54:48,619
We're weaker on our own,
but together...

1061
00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:49,912
I'm quitting, too.

1062
00:54:50,537 --> 00:54:52,789
Guys, don't get a bad attitude

1063
00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,417
because we lost once. Watch.

1064
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:08,555
Want some?

1065
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,724
Oh, no, not if there's
alcohol in it.

1066
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:14,269
Well, it's not
non-alcoholic wine, Diwata.

1067
00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:15,979
I shouldn't then. I...

1068
00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,024
Until I'm into
a good BFA program,

1069
00:55:19,107 --> 00:55:21,568
I need to protect
my singing voice, you know?

1070
00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,821
Yeah, alcohol
dries out the chords.

1071
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:33,622
You know...

1072
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:38,460
someone who looks
a lot like you,

1073
00:55:38,877 --> 00:55:42,881
was checking out
the family planning center,

1074
00:55:43,799 --> 00:55:46,218
across from the pizza shop
I work at last week.

1075
00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:48,135
And...

1076
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:57,646
I was just too scared to go in.

1077
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,066
'Cause I'm not sure I'm...

1078
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:07,197
I did one of those,
like, home tests,

1079
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:11,702
and it was, like,
kind of a line, maybe not.

1080
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:13,745
I can't go to my family doctor,

1081
00:56:13,829 --> 00:56:16,623
so I've gotta go back there
to get official results.

1082
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:19,876
Do you have someone
to go with you?

1083
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:22,254
Most of my friends are older,

1084
00:56:22,337 --> 00:56:24,214
from theater camp, so...

1085
00:56:29,886 --> 00:56:32,306
You know, as long as we figure
out the time-difference issue,

1086
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:33,682
I think there's totally a way

1087
00:56:33,765 --> 00:56:35,642
to integrate
teenage Abraham Lincoln

1088
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:38,228
into The Crucible,
my Mary Warren musical.

1089
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:39,396
I told you about it, right?

1090
00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:41,857
So you have to tell me
the story when you're sober.

1091
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:43,525
Do not let me forget, okay?

1092
00:56:43,609 --> 00:56:46,278
- [door unlocking] - Uh... Hello.
I put the sign on the door.

1093
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,991
Mom.

1094
00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:52,242
Don't say another word.

1095
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:56,204
You are on very thin ice.

1096
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,372
I smell vomit.

1097
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,336
[school bell ringing]

1098
00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:08,382
Is this a joke?

1099
00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:10,302
Nine hundred
and thirty seven dollars.

1100
00:57:10,385 --> 00:57:12,179
Hotels, food, expenses.

1101
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:13,805
The entrance fees were,
like, 100 each.

1102
00:57:13,889 --> 00:57:15,557
Pool, furniture repair.

1103
00:57:15,641 --> 00:57:17,517
Your club was
never even approved.

1104
00:57:17,726 --> 00:57:19,811
You don't even have
a faculty Advisor.

1105
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:21,647
I supervise team.

1106
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:24,524
Who the hell are...
Who the hell is she?

1107
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,777
I work in cafeteria
for seven years.

1108
00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:28,820
Sir, we never intended...

1109
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:30,656
You all have parents
on the school board.

1110
00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:32,449
What is wrong with you?

1111
00:57:32,991 --> 00:57:35,202
You're lucky that
I don't suspend you all

1112
00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:37,788
for fraudulently
representing our school.

1113
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:41,041
You all have two weeks of
detention, and no more clubs.

1114
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:42,751
What about the school newspaper?

1115
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:44,920
You're joking, right?

1116
00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:50,550
Journalism relies on morals,
ethics, and honesty.

1117
00:57:50,968 --> 00:57:54,179
There is no way that this school

1118
00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:57,599
is gonna pay a dime
towards these bills.

1119
00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:04,189
I have some money saved up.

1120
00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:05,816
Yeah, not enough to cover this.

1121
00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:07,401
My mother's broke, Diwata.

1122
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:09,725
It's gonna take me all summer
to even put a dent in this.

1123
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:13,031
If I was running things, we would
have at least followed the rules.

1124
00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:15,795
If you were running things, we never
would have made it to Portland.

1125
00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:40,183
[crickets chirping]

1126
00:58:42,227 --> 00:58:48,775
[Solomon on video] Then I could
similarly surmise that short people...

1127
00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:54,865
are stupider than taller people,

1128
00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:59,828
because you can't see as much

1129
00:58:59,911 --> 00:59:01,538
as taller people,

1130
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:05,459
and they have smaller brain...

1131
00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:13,300
[indistinct chatter
and laughter]

1132
00:59:15,093 --> 00:59:17,304
[student 1] Hey, you ain't
that tall either, Solomon.

1133
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,191
- [phone vibrates] -[student 2] My
brother's tall, and he hates you.

1134
00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:48,251
[James and Susan arguing]

1135
00:59:48,335 --> 00:59:50,712
[Solomon on video]
speaker's logic,

1136
00:59:50,796 --> 00:59:54,382
I'd argue that being short
has a lot to do

1137
00:59:54,466 --> 00:59:57,761
with how doomed you are in life.

1138
00:59:57,844 --> 01:00:00,180
[James]
Don't burden this on me again.

1139
01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:02,241
[judge at debate] You were
supposed to argue the opposition.

1140
01:00:02,265 --> 01:00:05,385
- [James] I don't know what you want from me!
- [Susan] What are you talking...

1141
01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:22,907
[message sent tone playing]

1142
01:01:01,533 --> 01:01:02,826
[baby crying]

1143
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,383
[clears throat]

1144
01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:21,761
Relax. You look
way too gay to be the father.

1145
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:23,722
Plus I used a fake name.

1146
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:26,433
Diwata Obama?

1147
01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:35,066
Is it weird we're celebrating
my false alarm

1148
01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:36,568
by giving me a food baby?

1149
01:01:39,487 --> 01:01:42,365
- What, too soon?
- Yeah, too soon. Too soon.

1150
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:47,162
You know you're
really lucky, right?

1151
01:01:49,539 --> 01:01:50,582
I know.

1152
01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:56,046
Especially since
that guy, Mark...

1153
01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:01,176
day after we did it, I...

1154
01:02:01,384 --> 01:02:04,304
called just to say hey
or whatever, and he was like,

1155
01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:08,183
"I never would have slept with
you if I wasn't so wasted,"

1156
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:09,266
so...

1157
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:13,146
So you guys are...
getting married?

1158
01:02:13,230 --> 01:02:14,564
[chuckles]

1159
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,413
[sarcastically]
Yep. It's a spring wedding.

1160
01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:19,945
I have a surprise for you.

1161
01:02:27,035 --> 01:02:28,245
[laughs]

1162
01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:30,163
How did you get that?

1163
01:02:31,373 --> 01:02:33,959
All the entries are
archived at the library.

1164
01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:36,419
Yep, he won second place.

1165
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,421
Prepare thyself.

1166
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:45,220
"Abraham was just 13 years old,

1167
01:02:45,303 --> 01:02:47,681
but he already loved
to read and learn.

1168
01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:53,812
One day, he decided to journey
into town to the library

1169
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,606
and see what adventures
he could find.

1170
01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:00,735
He read a book
about the frontier,

1171
01:03:01,236 --> 01:03:02,862
and he built a log cabin.

1172
01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:08,201
He read a book about the law,

1173
01:03:08,285 --> 01:03:09,995
and he became President."

1174
01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:17,168
You didn't think I'd find out?

1175
01:03:19,504 --> 01:03:20,630
How did you? They told you?

1176
01:03:20,714 --> 01:03:21,756
Of course they told me.

1177
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,633
It's my credit card, Diwata.

1178
01:03:24,426 --> 01:03:27,178
And I am not busting my ass
nights at the hospital

1179
01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:29,931
for you to take my money
and throw it in the street.

1180
01:03:30,682 --> 01:03:33,393
Yeah. Well... sorry.

1181
01:03:33,476 --> 01:03:34,477
That's not good enough.

1182
01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:36,896
You forged a signature
on the entry form.

1183
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,565
Oksana works in the building.

1184
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:41,025
No theater camp,

1185
01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:43,945
and you're going back to Olive
Garden until this debt is paid off.

1186
01:03:44,029 --> 01:03:45,280
I already called them.

1187
01:03:56,624 --> 01:03:57,876
He didn't come to school today.

1188
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,419
He'll survive.

1189
01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:04,382
Remember that show on MTV

1190
01:04:04,466 --> 01:04:06,509
where the bully pulls
the nerd's pants down,

1191
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:09,554
but the nerd's, you know,
well endowed,

1192
01:04:09,637 --> 01:04:11,139
so he becomes really popular?

1193
01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:13,099
Yeah.

1194
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:17,354
- So?
- So this is the opposite of that.

1195
01:04:18,646 --> 01:04:19,898
Solomon needs us.

1196
01:04:24,027 --> 01:04:26,780
I mean, I always knew you guys
had a big house, but...

1197
01:04:27,781 --> 01:04:28,781
whoa.

1198
01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:31,951
You could play baseball
out here.

1199
01:04:32,619 --> 01:04:34,371
Or do Shakespeare in the yard.

1200
01:04:35,246 --> 01:04:37,540
"Deny thy father,
and refuse thy name."

1201
01:04:38,249 --> 01:04:40,001
Have fun playing the nurse.

1202
01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:44,589
The lights are pretty.

1203
01:04:44,839 --> 01:04:46,174
Did your mom put 'em up?

1204
01:04:47,258 --> 01:04:48,258
Where is Mom?

1205
01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:51,513
She out banning some books?

1206
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:54,307
Burning them?

1207
01:04:54,849 --> 01:04:57,352
I think my parents
are breaking up.

1208
01:04:57,685 --> 01:04:59,270
I don't even want
to finish school.

1209
01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:01,231
Hey, no, no, no, no, no.

1210
01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:02,607
Why should I go back?

1211
01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:06,653
You even said
I have no personality.

1212
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:09,030
I have no friends.

1213
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,618
And now...

1214
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:17,705
I lost my virginity
with my sweatshirt on.

1215
01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:18,623
What?

1216
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:22,127
I feel bad. He looks like he's gonna
kill himself, so I'm just saying...

1217
01:05:26,089 --> 01:05:27,465
No one knows that.

1218
01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:33,304
I was home on my mom's bed.

1219
01:05:33,388 --> 01:05:35,098
[chuckles]
Oh, my God.

1220
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:38,059
My pants were around my ankles,

1221
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:41,062
wearing this lame sweatshirt.
I... [scoffs]

1222
01:05:42,730 --> 01:05:45,275
It was a hand-me-down
from my cousin, and...

1223
01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:50,029
I had to throw it away. I...

1224
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:52,157
couldn't look at it
after it was over.

1225
01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:57,203
Could have at least
had a nice one on.

1226
01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:02,208
I have a Champion sweatshirt
I like.

1227
01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:08,715
Your turn.

1228
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:11,468
Oh, my God. I...

1229
01:06:11,551 --> 01:06:12,594
Say something.

1230
01:06:17,599 --> 01:06:19,100
I'm in love with Diwata.

1231
01:06:25,023 --> 01:06:26,023
Um...

1232
01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:30,319
Okay.

1233
01:06:32,906 --> 01:06:34,782
Okay, um...

1234
01:06:35,617 --> 01:06:37,994
[takes a deep breath]

1235
01:06:40,163 --> 01:06:42,081
Before, in the car,

1236
01:06:43,124 --> 01:06:44,209
I lied.

1237
01:06:46,294 --> 01:06:49,672
The dance in Scouts
to "Freedom",

1238
01:06:51,090 --> 01:06:52,425
I did teach the kids.

1239
01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:55,929
And I got up, and I did it,

1240
01:06:56,763 --> 01:07:00,058
complete with all of these
crazy, like...

1241
01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,518
flaming moves.

1242
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:08,107
And while I was dancing,
the Scout leaders,

1243
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:13,571
they were trying to hide
that they were laughing,

1244
01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:15,490
like really laughing.

1245
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:17,951
And they were, like,

1246
01:07:18,326 --> 01:07:21,663
shifting their weight
and coughing,

1247
01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:23,081
but it was obvious.

1248
01:07:23,831 --> 01:07:28,086
And the guy that my mom
was dating at the time...

1249
01:07:29,295 --> 01:07:32,340
he actually stood up...

1250
01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:35,510
stopped the music,

1251
01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:38,429
and made me walk
back to my seat.

1252
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:46,521
I dropped out of Scouts

1253
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:48,982
because the kids
started calling me...

1254
01:07:50,191 --> 01:07:51,693
Miss Gay BSA.

1255
01:07:53,278 --> 01:07:54,279
BSA?

1256
01:07:55,989 --> 01:07:57,073
Bathing suit areas...

1257
01:07:57,156 --> 01:07:58,866
- No, idiot...
- From stranger danger?

1258
01:07:58,950 --> 01:08:00,326
Boy Scouts of America.

1259
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:04,831
Solomon, you know
you're grounded. Get inside.

1260
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,834
Guys, I have to go.

1261
01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:12,606
[The Crucible playing]
None of you confessed?

1262
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:14,299
There been many confessed.

1263
01:08:14,382 --> 01:08:16,801
- Who are they?
- There be a hundred or more, they say.

1264
01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:17,884
And Giles?

1265
01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:20,179
Giles is dead.

1266
01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:23,474
They press him, John.

1267
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:24,392
Press?

1268
01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,936
Great stones,
they lay upon his chest

1269
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:28,521
until he plead aye or nay.

1270
01:08:29,731 --> 01:08:32,025
They say he give 'em
but two words.

1271
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:35,737
"More weight," he says and died.

1272
01:08:36,070 --> 01:08:38,239
More weight.

1273
01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:40,408
Add another stone.
Make him speak.

1274
01:08:40,491 --> 01:08:42,785
More weight.

1275
01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:43,745
Give us a name!

1276
01:08:43,828 --> 01:08:46,664
[Marie] Diwata, you want dinner?
I'm leaving now.

1277
01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:49,751
[sighs] Mother, please
die so you will be dead.

1278
01:08:52,629 --> 01:08:54,631
I hate eating where I work.
It's embarrassing.

1279
01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:56,984
[Marie] Well, you get a discount here.
I'm not loaded, you know.

1280
01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:59,093
I know, I know,
but everyone here knows me.

1281
01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:01,346
Like, everyone's gonna want
to stop and talk to me.

1282
01:09:01,554 --> 01:09:02,388
Diwata.

1283
01:09:02,472 --> 01:09:03,473
[plate crashes on table]

1284
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:08,728
Did you hear?

1285
01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:11,189
Our local nut case is
a star on YouTube now.

1286
01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:12,982
He screamed at us
at board meetings,

1287
01:09:13,066 --> 01:09:15,860
and suddenly he's a star
with a fan base.

1288
01:09:15,943 --> 01:09:17,320
Seriously? A lot of people.

1289
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:19,989
Yeah. It's, like, 50,000 hits.

1290
01:09:27,288 --> 01:09:29,874
Oh, there's James.
Is he by himself?

1291
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,894
Should we invite him to join us?

1292
01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:32,918
- What? No.
- Should we?

1293
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,021
- We should.
- Mom, no. Please don't.

1294
01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:35,296
- We should. James.
- No.

1295
01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:36,714
Come here.

1296
01:09:40,093 --> 01:09:42,053
James, how's Solomon doing?

1297
01:09:42,136 --> 01:09:45,056
He'll come around. He's just going
through a rough spot right now.

1298
01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:47,100
So you don't know.

1299
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:48,643
- Diwata.
- No, it's okay.

1300
01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:50,520
It's okay.
It's okay. It's fine.

1301
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:53,523
Being an adult doesn't mean

1302
01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:56,150
that you suddenly
have the answers to everything.

1303
01:09:57,443 --> 01:09:58,903
What do you think
I should tell him?

1304
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:03,366
Uh... That you love him.
Start there.

1305
01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:07,537
I'm gonna be such a better
parent than you guys, just FYI.

1306
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:10,873
Could you excuse us
for a second?

1307
01:10:11,791 --> 01:10:12,834
Diwata.

1308
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,000
What?

1309
01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,844
Do you think my life is easy?

1310
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:25,888
That I enjoy eating

1311
01:10:25,972 --> 01:10:27,724
at the restaurant
where my daughter works?

1312
01:10:27,849 --> 01:10:29,308
- Mom...
- No, no, no, no, no.

1313
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:30,560
You're an adult.

1314
01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:33,020
We're on a first-name basis.
You call me Marie.

1315
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:34,939
No, I don't want to.

1316
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:36,649
Then let me be your mother.

1317
01:10:37,358 --> 01:10:41,028
Please, please,
you have to respect me,

1318
01:10:41,946 --> 01:10:44,490
and you need to stop
floating through your life

1319
01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:46,492
like none of this is real,

1320
01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:50,329
because everything I did,
at your age,

1321
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:53,332
is what my life is now.

1322
01:10:55,376 --> 01:10:57,211
- Okay?
- I'm sorry.

1323
01:10:57,295 --> 01:10:58,337
- Okay?
- I'm sorry.

1324
01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:00,798
I'm sorry, too. Come here.

1325
01:11:01,424 --> 01:11:03,176
[toilet flushing]

1326
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,428
Oh! Oh, no.

1327
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,054
[Marie laughing]

1328
01:11:12,018 --> 01:11:14,854
♪ When the world
Turns against you ♪

1329
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:17,857
♪ And you cannot go on ♪

1330
01:11:17,940 --> 01:11:20,777
♪ When your pants
Get pulled down ♪

1331
01:11:20,860 --> 01:11:24,071
♪ And you'd rather
Have them on ♪

1332
01:11:24,238 --> 01:11:26,783
♪ When you got zero friends ♪

1333
01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:29,452
♪ And you can't get a date ♪

1334
01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:34,791
♪ Tell your pant-pullers
Bring it on ♪

1335
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:37,293
More weight.

1336
01:11:42,340 --> 01:11:45,218
♪ When your town is
Close-minded ♪

1337
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:48,304
♪ And the elders
Get their way ♪

1338
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:51,265
♪ So you dye your hair blonde ♪

1339
01:11:51,349 --> 01:11:54,435
♪ And you dance like a lady ♪

1340
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:57,313
♪ When you wanted the lead ♪

1341
01:11:57,396 --> 01:12:00,399
♪ But 'cause of crap
You must wait ♪

1342
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:05,321
♪ Tell those crap-heapers
Heap it on ♪

1343
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:07,156
More weight.

1344
01:12:08,908 --> 01:12:12,203
♪ Lay it on ♪

1345
01:12:12,286 --> 01:12:14,914
More weight.

1346
01:12:14,997 --> 01:12:18,668
♪ Until I'm gone ♪

1347
01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:22,171
More weight.

1348
01:12:22,255 --> 01:12:23,923
Bitch, sit on my chest

1349
01:12:24,006 --> 01:12:25,967
with heavy piles of hate.

1350
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,887
More weight.

1351
01:12:40,398 --> 01:12:41,478
[notification tone playing]

1352
01:13:16,267 --> 01:13:17,351
[man]
What do you want?

1353
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:20,479
Uh, I want...
I want your advice.

1354
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:22,189
[man] Go away!

1355
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,191
I just want to talk to you.

1356
01:13:24,275 --> 01:13:26,861
[man] You're on my property.
You've been formerly warned.

1357
01:13:26,944 --> 01:13:27,944
Go away.

1358
01:13:29,322 --> 01:13:31,073
I'll fix your pothole.

1359
01:13:34,118 --> 01:13:35,118
[man] Come in.

1360
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:02,813
What do you want?

1361
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:05,900
Um...

1362
01:14:07,401 --> 01:14:08,611
Well...

1363
01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:13,115
you're a really big star
on YouTube.

1364
01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:16,577
Ah, that's my sister's doing.

1365
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,163
I don't use electricity anymore.

1366
01:14:19,246 --> 01:14:21,082
They can track it backwards now.

1367
01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:24,919
So what do you want?

1368
01:14:28,339 --> 01:14:32,718
I screwed up a lot
of stuff, and now...

1369
01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:35,388
I don't know what to do.
No one'll listen to me.

1370
01:14:37,014 --> 01:14:39,308
How do you get people
to listen to you?

1371
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:42,603
And now, I mean, they love you.

1372
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,525
Well, you know,
getting people to listen to you

1373
01:14:47,608 --> 01:14:50,111
is kind of the opposite
of getting people to like you.

1374
01:14:51,153 --> 01:14:53,193
You know, they tell me,
"Stick to your two minutes."

1375
01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:56,951
I remind them that I'm gonna
speak until I'm done speaking.

1376
01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:58,494
They can arrest me.

1377
01:14:59,370 --> 01:15:02,915
I'm using their stage for my
needs, not theirs, my terms.

1378
01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:05,710
Life is a stage.

1379
01:15:09,588 --> 01:15:11,090
Life is a stage.

1380
01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:15,261
What are you doing here?

1381
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:21,517
I mean, somebody send you
to spy on me?

1382
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:22,977
Oh, no.

1383
01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:25,146
- No?
- But... UH...

1384
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:29,025
- Thank you very much for your time.
- Come here.

1385
01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,203
[crashing]

1386
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,459
Are you insane?

1387
01:15:46,876 --> 01:15:47,960
Oh, God!

1388
01:15:48,044 --> 01:15:49,754
I'm grounded.
You can't be here.

1389
01:15:49,837 --> 01:15:50,837
Howie's here, too.

1390
01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:53,674
Life is a stage.

1391
01:15:54,008 --> 01:15:56,052
- What?
- We're in detention forever.

1392
01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,262
We can't be in clubs or the play

1393
01:15:58,345 --> 01:16:00,931
or newspapers,
but school board meetings

1394
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:02,349
all have an open mike portion.

1395
01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:04,602
Diwata's right.
We're letting them shut us up.

1396
01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:07,980
We kind of came up
with this thing.

1397
01:16:09,315 --> 01:16:12,026
Okay, so at the meetings, they have
to let us say whatever we want.

1398
01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:14,109
Why don't we do it in a way
that they won't forget?

1399
01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:18,365
Honestly, what do you
have to lose?

1400
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:30,920
What on earth?

1401
01:16:31,003 --> 01:16:33,130
What are all
these newscasters doing here?

1402
01:16:39,261 --> 01:16:40,638
Nice turnout.

1403
01:16:40,721 --> 01:16:42,181
Told you I got my peeps.

1404
01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:44,517
Custodial staffs love me,
just FYI.

1405
01:16:46,102 --> 01:16:50,231
[principal Bellingham] We are very proud
to have Salem County's Crimson Tides

1406
01:16:50,314 --> 01:16:53,234
lead us today in
the Pledge of Allegiance.

1407
01:16:55,820 --> 01:16:58,322
[all] I pledge
allegiance to the flag

1408
01:16:58,405 --> 01:17:00,658
of the United States of America

1409
01:17:00,741 --> 01:17:03,452
and to the republic,
for which it stands,

1410
01:17:03,869 --> 01:17:05,788
one nation, under God,

1411
01:17:05,871 --> 01:17:08,457
indivisible, with liberty
and justice...

1412
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,917
- for all.
- For Paul.

1413
01:17:10,501 --> 01:17:11,877
Ha, how 'bout those Tides?

1414
01:17:13,420 --> 01:17:15,339
Well, welcome... all of you.

1415
01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:17,883
I'm not sure we...

1416
01:17:18,425 --> 01:17:20,845
why we have such
a full house tonight,

1417
01:17:20,928 --> 01:17:25,683
but... Nor am I clear
on who contacted the ACLU.

1418
01:17:25,850 --> 01:17:28,286
- [light clapping and cheering]
- [Principal Bellingham chuckles]

1419
01:17:28,310 --> 01:17:29,979
I just want to assure everyone

1420
01:17:30,062 --> 01:17:33,190
that nothing is decided
without hearing

1421
01:17:33,274 --> 01:17:35,943
any of the community's concerns.

1422
01:17:36,110 --> 01:17:37,903
Tonight's meeting uh...

1423
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:40,156
is going to be
an open and fair one

1424
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:44,326
in which everyone will have
the chance to speak.

1425
01:17:44,410 --> 01:17:48,789
However, as per longstanding
town bylaws,

1426
01:17:49,039 --> 01:17:51,959
the press will not be able

1427
01:17:52,042 --> 01:17:54,837
to report or film inside.

1428
01:17:55,546 --> 01:17:58,007
There are exits on both sides
of the back of the room.

1429
01:17:58,090 --> 01:17:59,758
What's the point
of humiliating ourselves

1430
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:01,051
if nobody's gonna even see it?

1431
01:18:01,135 --> 01:18:03,512
We still have one incognito
camera. All we need is one.

1432
01:18:04,346 --> 01:18:05,472
You banned my brother,

1433
01:18:05,556 --> 01:18:08,142
but you can't stop
the flood, Bellingham.

1434
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:09,727
Guess what. The city called.

1435
01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:12,771
They want their
first amendment rights back!

1436
01:18:12,980 --> 01:18:15,232
Who's with me? ACLU?

1437
01:18:15,316 --> 01:18:17,818
Yeah. Well, I'm a small
independent nation

1438
01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:19,820
with a great big army.
No, no, no, no!

1439
01:18:19,904 --> 01:18:21,864
I appreciate diversity,

1440
01:18:21,947 --> 01:18:25,576
- but hoodlum antics will not be tolerated.
- Say hi to YouTube, bitches!

1441
01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:28,871
Guys, this isn't the first time
we've done this.

1442
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:31,040
I got a bad feeling about this.

1443
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,893
That's what you said about the
Portland trip, and that was amazing.

1444
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:34,293
Portland was
a hellish experience.

1445
01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:37,216
Well, yeah, Portland was the worst day
of our lives, but just stay calm.

1446
01:18:44,970 --> 01:18:48,682
Everyone must stick to
their three-minute open mike.

1447
01:18:49,141 --> 01:18:50,893
This is for your own benefit,

1448
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:54,521
so everyone gets
the chance to speak.

1449
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:57,650
Okay? And with that said,

1450
01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:58,733
um...

1451
01:18:59,193 --> 01:19:02,071
the first at the open mike is...

1452
01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:05,115
Diwata Jones.

1453
01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:24,885
Hi. I'm Diwata Jones.

1454
01:19:24,969 --> 01:19:27,805
Though some of you
might know me as Sister Berthe

1455
01:19:27,888 --> 01:19:30,683
from sophomore year's production
of The Sound of Music.

1456
01:19:31,267 --> 01:19:32,518
[light clapping]

1457
01:19:33,018 --> 01:19:36,355
Before me is the set
for Once Upon a Mattress.

1458
01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:39,650
Sadly, I will not
be participating

1459
01:19:39,733 --> 01:19:42,194
in this year's show
due to miscasting.

1460
01:19:42,653 --> 01:19:44,905
As disturbing as
this news has been

1461
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,157
to a lot of people
in the community,

1462
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:48,993
I'm grateful it's led me

1463
01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:52,496
to an amazing new group
of people here at North Salem.

1464
01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:57,710
I recently became part of the
newly-formed Speech and Debate team,

1465
01:19:57,960 --> 01:20:00,462
the first team
in the school's history

1466
01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:03,716
to almost make it
to octo-finals

1467
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:07,094
at the highly prestigious
Portland Invitational.

1468
01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:09,638
[light clapping]

1469
01:20:11,557 --> 01:20:14,435
And now, with
my remaining two minutes,

1470
01:20:14,852 --> 01:20:17,021
I'd like to show you
our team's work

1471
01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:19,523
to prove that the school
should support,

1472
01:20:19,815 --> 01:20:22,318
metaphorically and financially,

1473
01:20:22,693 --> 01:20:24,361
our worthwhile endeavor.

1474
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,114
Arnie, lights.

1475
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:30,492
- [bell ringing]
- [audience chattering]

1476
01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:35,622
Where am I?

1477
01:20:36,165 --> 01:20:38,083
I must have fallen
through a wormhole

1478
01:20:38,167 --> 01:20:40,085
and traveled back in time.

1479
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:42,504
But to when?

1480
01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:47,426
And to where?

1481
01:20:53,849 --> 01:20:55,392
♪ Boy, what you doin'? ♪

1482
01:20:55,476 --> 01:20:57,227
♪ Boy, what you thinkin'? ♪

1483
01:20:57,311 --> 01:20:59,146
♪ Boy, what's your name? ♪

1484
01:20:59,229 --> 01:21:01,023
♪ It's Abraham Lincoln ♪

1485
01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:04,818
♪ I've landed in a land
That's strange and foreign ♪

1486
01:21:04,902 --> 01:21:06,028
♪ Tell me your name ♪

1487
01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:08,197
♪ It's Mary Warren ♪

1488
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,740
♪ Boy, this is Salem ♪

1489
01:21:09,823 --> 01:21:11,575
♪ I just had my trial ♪

1490
01:21:11,658 --> 01:21:15,329
♪ They think I'm a witch
They think I'm vile ♪

1491
01:21:15,412 --> 01:21:16,997
♪ They said
Girl, you'll hang ♪

1492
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:18,624
♪ You must confess ♪

1493
01:21:18,707 --> 01:21:21,710
♪ So I lied and said
Yes, I am possessed ♪

1494
01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:23,337
♪ You held it in ♪

1495
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:26,215
♪ I held it in ♪

1496
01:21:26,298 --> 01:21:28,801
♪ But, Mary, you lied ♪

1497
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:30,636
♪ I held it in ♪

1498
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,263
♪ Don't you feel awful? ♪

1499
01:21:33,347 --> 01:21:35,891
♪ Yes, but I'm alive ♪

1500
01:21:35,974 --> 01:21:37,184
This girl is headstrong.

1501
01:21:37,267 --> 01:21:40,938
♪ Abe, I lied in court
But what the heck ♪

1502
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:43,273
♪ I lost my honor ♪

1503
01:21:43,357 --> 01:21:47,736
♪ Not my neck ♪

1504
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:53,242
Today is a tough day for me.

1505
01:21:53,325 --> 01:21:56,078
I was just on my way
to have a talk with my parents.

1506
01:21:56,161 --> 01:21:57,996
What kind of talk, Abraham?

1507
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:00,833
Oh, you know. I just wanted
to share with them

1508
01:22:00,916 --> 01:22:03,168
that I'm a little different,
that I love them,

1509
01:22:03,252 --> 01:22:05,879
but I also love
the way army men look,

1510
01:22:05,963 --> 01:22:07,965
in and out of their uniforms.

1511
01:22:08,590 --> 01:22:11,301
Wow. Too bad there's no place

1512
01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,053
for you to share your feelings.

1513
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,389
Why don't you join
the Recycling Club?

1514
01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:19,101
You don't have to talk about what's
on your mind when you can recycle.

1515
01:22:19,184 --> 01:22:20,644
Do you want my advice, Abraham?

1516
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:22,187
Yes, Mary Warren.

1517
01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:23,355
♪ Hold it in ♪

1518
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:26,066
♪ I want to share my feelings ♪

1519
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:28,444
♪ No, don't be obscene ♪

1520
01:22:28,902 --> 01:22:31,029
♪ Just hold it in ♪

1521
01:22:31,113 --> 01:22:33,365
♪ But my voice matters ♪

1522
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:36,910
♪ Not if you're a teen
Swallow your feelings ♪

1523
01:22:36,994 --> 01:22:40,706
♪ Don't you want to run
The country someday? ♪

1524
01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:42,749
♪ Yes, you think
I can do it? ♪

1525
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,460
♪ Not if you're gay ♪

1526
01:22:44,543 --> 01:22:48,213
♪ But, Mary, speaking
My mind is not a sin ♪

1527
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:52,843
♪ Trust me, I'm a Puritan ♪

1528
01:22:52,926 --> 01:22:54,887
♪ Hold it in ♪

1529
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:57,014
♪ Yeah ♪

1530
01:22:57,097 --> 01:22:59,766
♪ Keep your feelings inside ♪

1531
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,768
♪ Just hold it in ♪

1532
01:23:01,852 --> 01:23:04,605
♪ Girl, I can't lie ♪

1533
01:23:04,688 --> 01:23:07,107
♪ Just swallow your pride ♪

1534
01:23:07,191 --> 01:23:08,108
Please don't riff.

1535
01:23:08,192 --> 01:23:09,693
♪ If I hold it in ♪

1536
01:23:09,776 --> 01:23:11,737
♪ I'll lose my bravery ♪

1537
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:15,407
♪ If you hold it in
You will end slavery ♪

1538
01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:17,117
♪ You win ♪

1539
01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:18,827
♪ I win ♪

1540
01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:22,539
[together] -♪ If you
hold ♪ -♪ If I hold ♪

1541
01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:29,588
♪ It in ♪

1542
01:23:32,758 --> 01:23:33,758
♪ Yeah ♪

1543
01:23:40,265 --> 01:23:42,935
Two teenagers, lost,

1544
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:45,687
separated by different times,

1545
01:23:46,188 --> 01:23:48,857
yet united in their quest
to speak their minds.

1546
01:23:49,942 --> 01:23:52,569
Far-fetched? Perhaps.

1547
01:23:53,237 --> 01:23:56,907
But far from true? Far from it.

1548
01:23:57,533 --> 01:24:00,410
Teenagers today are holding
lots of things inside...

1549
01:24:01,203 --> 01:24:05,040
like feelings,
fears, and fetuses.

1550
01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,709
But by keeping these things
hidden inside,

1551
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:10,963
who are kids really helping?

1552
01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:12,464
Themselves?

1553
01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:16,301
Or the adults who would
rather ignore these subjects

1554
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:17,970
than have to engage them?

1555
01:24:19,263 --> 01:24:23,267
After all, do we live
in Salem, Oregon,

1556
01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:28,105
or Salem, Massachusetts,
circa 1692?

1557
01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:31,483
Puritanism seems to be
alive and well in Salem,

1558
01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:35,529
so I ask, would Mary Warren's
naked forest dancing

1559
01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:37,322
be any more welcome today?

1560
01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:40,074
Let's find out.

1561
01:24:40,951 --> 01:24:42,160
Arnie!

1562
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:47,332
["Freedom '90" playing]

1563
01:24:51,295 --> 01:24:54,089
♪ I was every little
Hungry schoolgirl's ♪

1564
01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:55,257
♪ Pride and joy ♪

1565
01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:57,676
♪ And I guess
It was enough for me ♪

1566
01:24:59,761 --> 01:25:02,264
♪ I think there's something
You should know ♪

1567
01:25:02,347 --> 01:25:04,891
♪ I think it's time
I told you so ♪

1568
01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:07,102
♪ There's something
Deep inside of me... ♪

1569
01:25:07,185 --> 01:25:09,563
Featured ensemble, my ass.

1570
01:25:10,355 --> 01:25:12,858
♪ Take back your picture
In a frame ♪

1571
01:25:12,941 --> 01:25:15,611
♪ Take back your singing
In the rain ♪

1572
01:25:15,694 --> 01:25:17,904
♪ I just hope you understand ♪

1573
01:25:17,988 --> 01:25:20,365
♪ Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man ♪

1574
01:25:20,532 --> 01:25:23,869
♪ All we have to do now... ♪

1575
01:25:32,502 --> 01:25:36,840
♪ Is take these lies
And make them true ♪

1576
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:37,965
♪ Somehow ♪

1577
01:25:38,008 --> 01:25:42,095
♪ All we have to see ♪

1578
01:25:42,346 --> 01:25:44,931
♪ Is that I don't belong
To you ♪

1579
01:25:45,015 --> 01:25:48,226
♪ And you don't belong
To me, yeah yeah ♪

1580
01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:51,897
♪ Freedom
Freedom ♪

1581
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:55,651
♪ Freedom ♪

1582
01:25:55,734 --> 01:25:58,403
♪ You've gotta give
For what you take ♪

1583
01:25:58,862 --> 01:26:00,447
♪ Freedom ♪

1584
01:26:01,365 --> 01:26:02,949
♪ Freedom ♪

1585
01:26:04,117 --> 01:26:05,535
♪ Freedom ♪

1586
01:26:06,119 --> 01:26:08,830
♪ You've gotta give
For what you take ♪

1587
01:26:09,623 --> 01:26:12,542
♪ Heaven knows we sure
Had some fun boy ♪

1588
01:26:12,751 --> 01:26:15,253
♪ What a kick
Just a buddy and me ♪

1589
01:26:15,379 --> 01:26:18,382
♪ What a kick
Just a buddy and me ♪

1590
01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:22,094
We aren't leaving
until we have a GSA!

1591
01:26:22,177 --> 01:26:24,888
We won't rest until
Mary Rodgers' real lines

1592
01:26:24,971 --> 01:26:26,431
are put back into
the school play!

1593
01:26:26,973 --> 01:26:29,226
We won't stop until
the newspaper can write

1594
01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:32,437
about issues that actually
concern the student body.

1595
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:34,064
We won't stop...

1596
01:26:35,816 --> 01:26:38,568
until people are held
accountable for their actions.

1597
01:26:38,819 --> 01:26:40,153
Try and stop us!

1598
01:26:40,237 --> 01:26:42,406
You can't possibly
stop us from...

1599
01:26:42,489 --> 01:26:43,809
[man in audience]
What's going on?

1600
01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:01,133
Saw your video online.

1601
01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:02,676
You were awesome.

1602
01:27:08,682 --> 01:27:09,682
Thanks.

1603
01:27:09,808 --> 01:27:10,808
[shushes]

1604
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:27,159
Oksana recorded it on her Razr,
so the quality's shit,

1605
01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:29,244
but 84 views.

1606
01:27:29,327 --> 01:27:30,662
We might go viral, people.

1607
01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:32,080
Can I see, please?

1608
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,583
If those 84 people
tell their friends,

1609
01:27:34,666 --> 01:27:35,917
who tell their friends...

1610
01:27:36,501 --> 01:27:38,044
I say we monetize
my YouTube account

1611
01:27:38,128 --> 01:27:39,480
- instantly. I'm serious.
- [reporter] Hey.

1612
01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:40,380
Guys, look.

1613
01:27:40,464 --> 01:27:41,464
Hey.

1614
01:27:46,261 --> 01:27:47,512
Are you guys students here?

1615
01:27:48,430 --> 01:27:49,264
Yeah.

1616
01:27:49,347 --> 01:27:51,748
We've been hearing there have
been some issues with teachers.

1617
01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:53,101
Censorship.

1618
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:54,394
And a play was rewritten

1619
01:27:54,478 --> 01:27:55,854
without the author's permission.

1620
01:27:56,938 --> 01:27:58,482
Do you guys know
anything about that?

1621
01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:00,400
Yeah. This is your guy.

1622
01:28:01,067 --> 01:28:02,778
He'll tell you everything
you need to know.

1623
01:28:02,986 --> 01:28:03,986
Okay.

1624
01:28:04,154 --> 01:28:06,114
Hey. I'm Solomon.

1625
01:28:06,323 --> 01:28:08,116
I used to work
for the school paper.

1626
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:09,201
Rachel. Nice to meet you.

1627
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:10,284
Nice to meet you.

1628
01:28:10,327 --> 01:28:12,913
So do you like working
at the school paper?

1629
01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:15,457
[chuckles] Uh...

1630
01:28:15,957 --> 01:28:17,417
It was something else. Uh...

1631
01:28:18,251 --> 01:28:21,491
- [message received tone plays] -[Solomon]
Well, I started when I was a sophomore.

1632
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:23,173
That was last year.

1633
01:28:23,256 --> 01:28:24,299
At the beginning,

1634
01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:26,843
it seemed like a better choice
than yearbook...

1635
01:28:26,927 --> 01:28:28,094
What?

1636
01:28:28,678 --> 01:28:30,388
- What?
- No, this has got to be a joke.

1637
01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:31,515
What?

1638
01:28:32,557 --> 01:28:34,309
- [Solomon] Anyway...
- What? Accept it!

1639
01:28:34,392 --> 01:28:35,393
No!

1640
01:28:35,852 --> 01:28:37,312
You didn't realize
he was into you?

1641
01:28:37,395 --> 01:28:38,313
No.

1642
01:28:38,396 --> 01:28:39,564
You... What about gaydar?

1643
01:28:39,648 --> 01:28:41,733
It was turned off.
I was too nervous.

1644
01:28:42,275 --> 01:28:43,276
This is crazy.

1645
01:28:43,443 --> 01:28:44,277
[message received tone playing]

1646
01:28:44,361 --> 01:28:45,529
No.

1647
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:46,822
What?

1648
01:28:46,947 --> 01:28:48,406
He says he wants
to go out on a date.

1649
01:28:48,490 --> 01:28:49,991
Oh, my God.

1650
01:28:50,325 --> 01:28:51,743
That is amazing.

1651
01:28:51,827 --> 01:28:53,870
[Solomon] have a point of
view on my own school.

1652
01:28:56,164 --> 01:28:59,125
I had to report on topics
that were already decided on,

1653
01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:01,628
and that's the opposite
of reporting.

1654
01:29:03,255 --> 01:29:06,842
But the newspaper,
the arts, our clubs,

1655
01:29:07,843 --> 01:29:10,136
Look. That's him. That's him.

1656
01:29:10,220 --> 01:29:11,638
What's important to our lives.

1657
01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:15,517
But all of these things,

1658
01:29:16,434 --> 01:29:18,687
they were just a symptom
of the larger problem.

1659
01:29:20,063 --> 01:29:21,690
No one was listening to us.

1660
01:29:22,816 --> 01:29:24,860
Well, Solomon, we're on air,

1661
01:29:25,402 --> 01:29:28,196
and you're talking
to five million people.

1662
01:29:28,780 --> 01:29:31,366
I promise someone's
listening now.

1663
01:29:35,453 --> 01:29:38,164
[Solomon] Well, it all
started with a pothole.

1664
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:43,503
[Kristin Chenoweth] So this next song
is written by one of my superfans.

1665
01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:45,046
Her name is Diwata Jones.

1666
01:29:45,130 --> 01:29:48,341
I thought I'd sing it and send
some love back her way...

1667
01:29:48,425 --> 01:29:51,303
since she loves everything
I post on Twitter.

1668
01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:52,929
Here we go.

1669
01:29:53,013 --> 01:29:56,099
♪ Boys don't seem to like me
For who I am ♪

1670
01:29:56,182 --> 01:29:59,060
♪ I'm not good at romancin' ♪

1671
01:29:59,269 --> 01:30:02,480
♪ Others pleasing men by
Acting like they're witches ♪

1672
01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:05,108
♪ Doing naked forest dancin' ♪

1673
01:30:05,191 --> 01:30:06,985
♪ I know a girl
Who's good at singing ♪

1674
01:30:07,068 --> 01:30:08,612
♪ Like a dying squirrel ♪

1675
01:30:08,695 --> 01:30:11,740
♪ And another who still
Wants to choose her ♪

1676
01:30:11,823 --> 01:30:14,743
♪ But even when we feel
Like we are losing out ♪

1677
01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:18,121
♪ That doesn't make us losers ♪

1678
01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:22,042
♪ 'Cause I'm flying free when
I am me ♪

1679
01:30:22,125 --> 01:30:25,170
♪ When you are you
When we are we ♪

1680
01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:28,214
♪ We're flying free
If we are three ♪

1681
01:30:28,298 --> 01:30:31,301
♪ So you be you
And I'll be me ♪

1682
01:30:31,384 --> 01:30:34,262
♪ Together, together ♪

1683
01:30:34,346 --> 01:30:36,931
♪ Good times are
Just beginning ♪

1684
01:30:37,015 --> 01:30:40,060
♪ When you try your best
Then you are the best ♪

1685
01:30:40,143 --> 01:30:45,023
♪ You're a loser
Who is winning ♪

1686
01:30:48,318 --> 01:30:51,279
♪ Sometimes others think
That different is bad ♪

1687
01:30:51,363 --> 01:30:54,532
♪ They're scared
Unwilling to wager ♪

1688
01:30:54,616 --> 01:30:57,786
♪ Sometimes judgey people
Just don't understand ♪

1689
01:30:57,869 --> 01:31:00,538
♪ That who you are
Is how God made you ♪

1690
01:31:00,622 --> 01:31:03,750
♪ Even when the bad guys
Pull ahead ♪

1691
01:31:03,833 --> 01:31:06,711
♪ We're fighting for
Our survival ♪

1692
01:31:06,795 --> 01:31:10,006
♪ The race is long
We won't give up ♪

1693
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:13,259
♪ Even when
We don't make finals ♪

1694
01:31:13,343 --> 01:31:17,138
♪ 'Cause I'm flying free
When I am me ♪

1695
01:31:17,222 --> 01:31:20,266
♪ When you are you
When we are we ♪

1696
01:31:20,350 --> 01:31:23,561
♪ We're flying free
If we are three ♪

1697
01:31:23,645 --> 01:31:26,606
♪ So you be you
And I'll be me ♪

1698
01:31:26,690 --> 01:31:29,442
♪ Together, together ♪

1699
01:31:29,526 --> 01:31:32,278
♪ Some girls will
Always be thinner ♪

1700
01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:35,281
♪ If we try our best
Then we are the best ♪

1701
01:31:35,365 --> 01:31:38,493
♪ This loser is a winner ♪

1702
01:31:38,576 --> 01:31:41,788
♪ Just be yourself
And you'll come in first ♪

1703
01:31:41,871 --> 01:31:48,795
♪ Even if the world
Thinks you are the worst ♪

1704
01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:53,550
♪ The worst ♪

1705
01:31:53,633 --> 01:31:56,761
♪ I'm flying free
When I am me ♪

1706
01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:59,931
♪ When you are you
When we are we ♪

1707
01:32:00,014 --> 01:32:03,059
♪ We're flying free
If we are three ♪

1708
01:32:03,143 --> 01:32:06,062
♪ So you be you
And I'll be me ♪

1709
01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:08,773
♪ Together, together ♪

1710
01:32:08,857 --> 01:32:11,735
♪ Our good times
Are just beginning ♪

1711
01:32:11,818 --> 01:32:14,863
♪ If we try our best
Then we are the best ♪

1712
01:32:14,946 --> 01:32:17,991
♪ Just be yourself
And forget the past ♪

1713
01:32:18,074 --> 01:32:21,077
♪ Love your weirdo self
Through thick and thin ♪

1714
01:32:21,161 --> 01:32:25,331
♪ If you love yourself
Then you always win ♪

1715
01:32:25,415 --> 01:32:32,380
♪ You win ♪

1716
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:42,140
♪ Oh, together,
Whoa, together ♪

1717
01:32:42,223 --> 01:32:44,851
♪ Good times are
Just beginning ♪

1718
01:32:44,934 --> 01:32:47,979
♪ If we try our best
Then we are the best ♪

1719
01:32:48,062 --> 01:32:54,944
♪ We're losers
Who are winning ♪

1720
01:32:56,696 --> 01:33:01,576
♪ We're winning ♪

1721
01:33:01,659 --> 01:33:03,578
♪ Yeah ♪

1722
01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:09,417
♪ We're winning ♪

1723
01:33:15,215 --> 01:33:17,383
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

1724
01:33:18,092 --> 01:33:20,428
[instrumental music playing]

1725
01:34:31,249 --> 01:34:33,209
[instrumental music playing]

1726
01:34:47,849 --> 01:34:51,352
♪ How do you solve
A problem like Maria? ♪

1727
01:34:51,436 --> 01:34:54,898
♪ How do you catch a cloud
And pin it down? ♪

1728
01:34:54,981 --> 01:34:58,234
♪ How do you find the words
That mean Maria? ♪

1729
01:34:58,318 --> 01:35:00,028
♪ A flibbertigibbet
A will-o'-the wisp ♪

1730
01:35:00,111 --> 01:35:02,614
♪ A clown ♪

1731
01:35:09,829 --> 01:35:10,955
Where am I?

1732
01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:13,082
I must have fallen
through a wormhole

1733
01:35:13,166 --> 01:35:14,834
and traveled back in time.

1734
01:35:17,337 --> 01:35:20,924
♪ If I hold it in
I'll lose my bravery ♪

1735
01:35:21,007 --> 01:35:24,886
♪ If you hold it in
You will end slavery ♪

1736
01:35:24,969 --> 01:35:26,346
♪ You win ♪

1737
01:35:26,429 --> 01:35:28,139
♪ I win ♪

1738
01:35:28,222 --> 01:35:31,768
[together] -♪ If you
hold ♪ -♪ If I hold ♪

1739
01:35:31,851 --> 01:35:38,024
♪ It in ♪

1740
01:35:42,028 --> 01:35:43,028
♪ Yeah ♪