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INDOXXI
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1
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,992
Do we have to come to Corny's?

2
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,992
This place is for babies.

3
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,672
Then you fit right in, Greggy.

4
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,038
It's not a place for babies,

5
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,919
it's a place for family-style dining,
right, Frank?

6
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,992
That's right.
And the buffet's all-you-can-eat,

7
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,275
so take advantage.

8
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,591
Thanks for inviting me, Mr. and Mrs. Heffley.

9
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,990
I hear their ball pit is super deep!

10
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,277
# Right down from my toes
to my belly and brain #

11
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,238
# Gotta shake myself, jump up in the shower #

12
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,630
# Gotta fix my health, how many hours #

13
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,155
# Did I spent last night
with the whiskey neat #

14
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,959
# In a really big zone on the floor #

15
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,520
# Until I lost the beat #

16
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,671
# And now I'm incomplete #

17
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,035
# Heebie jeebies #

18
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,555
This place really is the worst.

19
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,915
Incoming!

20
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,075
It's his new video.
It's supposed to be awesome.

21
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,633
Okay, enough.

22
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,394
You know the rule...
devices away during dinner.

23
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,598
So I'm cruising through the spaceship

24
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,514
and it looks like you get
to interact with all the aliens.

25
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,718
So it's pretty tight. Pretty amazeballs!

26
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,998
I hate that Mac Digby.
He's a horrible role model.

27
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,799
Are you kidding?

28
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,599
He's like the greatest guy I know.

29
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,275
Hey!

30
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:11,597
Rowley, I bet your family
doesn't have this problem with technology.

31
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,991
Oh, yeah, my mom's really strict
about her one-hour limit on screen time.

32
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,594
See?

33
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,752
One hour a day, that's all they need.

34
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,356
It's a week. One hour a week.

35
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,391
I have failed as a parent.

36
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,390
No.

37
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:37,160
So who's excited
about the Great Heffley Road Trip?

38
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,117
Hmm?

39
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,876
A journey across the U.S. of A. to Meemaw's.

40
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,030
Do we have to go?

41
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,318
It's Meemaw's 90th birthday,
and everyone's gonna be there.

42
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,393
We're gonna see family
we haven't seen in years.

43
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,637
Oh, come on, Greg.

44
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,677
I promise we're gonna make it fun for you.

45
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,831
If I go, will you give me
money to fix my van?

46
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,832
- No.
- Can't we just fly?

47
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:58,876
No.

48
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:03,512
A road trip is a great opportunity
to spend time together as a family.

49
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,832
It's four days in the car. Together.

50
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,958
It's not exactly what I had planned
for summer vacation.

51
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,190
Mommy!

52
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,600
Mommy!

53
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,273
Oh, no. Manny's stuck.

54
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,431
Mommy! Mommy!

55
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,671
- Greg, will you go help him?
- Why me?

56
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,519
Cause you're the only one
who can fit in there.

57
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,552
Ow! I bumped my head.

58
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:35,671
Ugh!

59
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,592
It stinks of old socks.

60
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,598
Good-bye, Greg!

61
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,876
Manny, stay there.

62
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,758
Hey, Bubby.

63
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,837
We're in the ballpit! Yeah!

64
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,911
Manny? Manny?

65
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,269
Manny?

66
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,597
Whoa!

67
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,750
Manny?

68
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,151
Manny!

69
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,354
Manny! Manny?

70
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,434
Diaper! It's a diaper,
it's a diaper, it's a diaper!

71
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,512
It's a diaper!

72
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,520
It's a diaper!

73
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,352
I knew we shouldn't have come here.

74
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,039
If there's one thing I've learned
from my years of being a kid,

75
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,316
it's that you have zero control
over your own life.

76
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,993
Take Mom, for example.

77
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,231
She's always on me to do "healthy" things,

78
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,676
like read books and play outside.

79
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,240
It's the worst.

80
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,200
If she had her way,
we'd be living like people did

81
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,351
before there were computers and cell phones.

82
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,432
But human beings have evolved.

83
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,036
Now we need things like video games
and smartphones to survive.

84
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,516
All she cares about is family time.

85
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,911
Now don't get me wrong.
I like my family and all,

86
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,560
but I'm just not sure
we're all meant to live together.

87
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,519
Maybe things will be better one day,

88
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,557
when we all have our own places

89
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,195
and only see each other on the holidays.

90
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,600
But right now,

91
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,957
this combination of people
is just not working.

92
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,557
This is a disaster.

93
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:25,031
Diaper! It's a diaper,
it's a diaper, it's a diaper!

94
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,476
That's it. My life is over.

95
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,471
It already has 6,000 views.

96
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,552
Congrats, Diaper Hands, you've gone viral.

97
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,518
Diaper! It's a diaper!

98
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,472
I'd love to stick around with you losers,

99
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,517
but I got to forward this to everyone I know.

100
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,078
It gets worse! Now I'm a meme!

101
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,913
"Diaper Hands Dunks."

102
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,834
- That's pretty funny.
- You're not seeing the big picture.

103
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,149
If I don't do something soon,

104
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,233
I'm gonna be branded
as "Diaper Hands" for life.

105
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,834
Or maybe even longer.

106
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,234
Hey.

107
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,591
Why don't we watch the latest
Mac Digby video?

108
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,876
Just please don't tell my parents.

109
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,590
What up?

110
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,592
Today I'm playing Mushroom Makoto.

111
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,514
This game's Japanese,
mental and, yes, I'm a...

112
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,592
What the what? Mushroom in a kitchen?

113
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,435
Boom! You got shroomed!
Dat's how Digby do it!

114
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,036
"Dat's how Digby do it." Classic.

115
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,280
Mac's the best.

116
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,874
If I was in a video with him,

117
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,714
I'm pretty sure everyone would
just forget about "Diaper Hands."

118
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,394
You know what?

119
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,190
I'm gonna write Mac and ask if there's
any way I can be in one of his videos.

120
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,476
It can't hurt, right?

121
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,870
Mom really hates Mac Digby.

122
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,077
But Mac figured out
how to get rich and famous

123
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,470
just from playing video games.

124
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,359
No way. Mac replied already.

125
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,512
It says: "Thanks for the email, Greg."

126
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,671
He used my name.

127
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,877
"I'm going to be at Player Expo this weekend

128
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,429
"in Indianapolis from 12:00 to 2:00

129
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,355
hanging out, mashing buttons
and making gamer history."

130
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,514
Hey, maybe you'll be
in my next YouTube video."

131
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,315
This is the greatest day of my life.

132
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,599
No one will remember Diaper Hands
when I'm in a Mac Digby video.

133
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,151
I'm going to be "Greg Famous."

134
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,596
Greg Heffley. Oh, my God.

135
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,357
But your mom says
Mac Digby is a bad influence.

136
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,920
I mean, do you really think she'll let you
go to Player Expo to be in a video with him?

137
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,520
You're right.

138
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,034
There's no way.

139
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,234
Unless...

140
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,236
Player Expo's in Indianapolis this weekend.

141
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,518
And get this, Meemaw's party is in Indiana.

142
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,912
This is perfect!

143
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,354
Player Expo is only...

144
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,191
...two inches away from Meemaw's!

145
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,391
I'm not sure that's how maps work.

146
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,437
All I have to do is make sure our road trip

147
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,477
brings us close to Player Expo,

148
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,870
and then sneak away long enough
to see Mac Digby,

149
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,714
and then come back before
anyone notices I'm gone.

150
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,870
No one gets hurt.

151
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,196
It's a win-win situation.

152
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,475
Is it?

153
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,551
Guys! Guys.

154
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,836
This is way too much stuff.

155
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,991
These are definitely essentials.

156
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,274
No, no, no. Manny, no sweetie.
No, we're not bringing that.

157
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,516
Uh, there's no room for people in here.

158
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,592
Maybe we should look into plane tickets.

159
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,512
This was a disaster.

160
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,512
My whole plan was falling apart.

161
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,273
I have an idea.

162
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,079
If we take all the junk out,

163
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,760
we can use the boat as a trailer.

164
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,150
Then, if we see some water,

165
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,199
Dad, you can show us how to sail and fish.

166
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,954
For, you know, fish.

167
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,434
Now you're talking.

168
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,513
Aye-aye, Captain.

169
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,195
Who's ready for the Great Heffley Road Trip?

170
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,873
Can I get a woot-woot?

171
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,035
Woot-woot! Go, Mom.

172
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,315
Dork.

173
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,232
# Bottle rockets off your roof #

174
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,952
# Riding bikes through red lights #

175
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,350
# We're bulletproof #

176
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,949
Meemaw's, here we come.

177
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,757
I'm texting.

178
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,271
Oh, no. No devices on this trip.

179
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:38,677
What do you mean?

180
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,719
This is an unplugged road trip.

181
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,280
No phones, no iPads, no Internet.

182
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,477
- What?!
- Just family time.

183
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,473
The only connecting we're gonna do
is with each other.

184
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,394
Everyone hand over your devices.

185
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,116
You tricked us!

186
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,714
This is totally not cool.

187
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,315
Kids at school get way more
screen time than I do!

188
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,550
I'm not giving up my phone. Pfft!

189
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,956
Yeah! If he's not givin' up his phone,
I'm not givin' up mine.

190
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,633
If he's not giving up,
I'm not giving mine up.

191
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,200
Who do you think you are, bossing us around?

192
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,875
You want me to read. I'm reading text!

193
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,679
What's the difference?

194
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,911
- You're the worst mom ever!
- Yeah!

195
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,275
Mm-hmm.

196
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,956
Without devices,
there's absolutely nothing to do.

197
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,918
Look at the scenery. Read a book.

198
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,550
"Read a book?" It's summer vacation!

199
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,916
- Pfft! Scenery's stupid! Pfft!
- Yeah!

200
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,276
Listen to your mother, boys.

201
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,274
Frank. The ban goes for you, too.

202
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,920
No, no, no, no. I got to check the route.

203
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,710
Uh, no, you don't. We have GPS.

204
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,711
And if that fails, I brought a map.

205
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,713
We'll kick it old school.

206
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,831
# Yeah, I like this right here #

207
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,639
# Bom, ba-dum bum ba-da-da-da-da #

208
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,791
Estimated time on road:

209
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,237
47 hours and 1 minute.

210
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,231
# Let's escape #

211
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,880
# I'm free to do what I want #

212
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,474
# And have a good time #

213
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,439
# Now somebody, anybody, everybody #

214
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,159
# 'Cause I'm free... #

215
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,994
- Fast food, fast food.
- You can't do this to me.

216
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,595
You're hungry, I'm happy to provide.

217
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,194
# Everybody sing #

218
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,873
# I'm free, baby, bring the beat, baby #

219
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,155
# Let me show you how I live #

220
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,071
# Let you live baby #

221
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,389
# Let's be free, baby #

222
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,550
# And cruise the world #

223
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:38,915
# Are you with it girl? #

224
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,038
# I'm free to do what I want #

225
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,873
# And have a good time #

226
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,794
# Now somebody, anybody, everybody #

227
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,998
# 'Cause I'm free to do what I want #

228
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,476
# And have a good time #

229
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:55,598
# Now somebody, anybody, everybody sing #

230
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,000
# Went from a poor kid #

231
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,514
# To a well-known all around the globe... #

232
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,478
The two of you are in
so much trouble right now!

233
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,792
You should not be doing that sort of thing.

234
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,678
# Feel free, do whatever you want #

235
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,558
# Whenever you want with whoever you want #

236
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,831
# Feel free, who cares what they say... #

237
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,512
Can we have our phones back yet?

238
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,512
Nope. The bag is closed.

239
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,559
- Well, when is the bag going to open?
- It's not.

240
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,480
Well, when is the bag not going to not open?

241
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,117
Okay, okay, I have something fun
to pass the time.

242
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:34,353
Who has a guilty conscience?
It's a simple game.

243
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,080
Someone takes a card from the deck
and reads it aloud.

244
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,550
If you've done the thing on the card,
you get a point.

245
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,599
So, the first person to three points wins.

246
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:46,515
"I must confess...
I once owned an unusual pet."

247
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:50,116
- I had a pet tarantula in college.
- No way.

248
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,796
Yeah! His name was Terry Antula
and he was awesome.

249
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,473
One point.

250
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:58,359
"I must confess
I once had a crazy hairstyle."

251
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:03,509
Guilty! I dyed my hair pink
when I was younger for a summer.

252
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,319
When did you guys stop being fun?

253
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,074
Well, your dad and I were young
once, too, you know.

254
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,720
Can I read the next one?

255
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:12,790
Yes.

256
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,072
"I must confess...

257
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,312
"I once broke a window by shooting a BB gun

258
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,631
and blamed my little brother for it."

259
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,150
Yes. I totally did that.

260
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,074
I'm tied with Mom and Dad. Read another one.

261
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,596
My turn.

262
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:41,314
"I must confess I once drove my mom's car
when I didn't have a license

263
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,000
and scratched the door very badly."

264
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,152
I did that, too! Boom. One more point.

265
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,949
That's plus one. Plus another point.

266
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,274
"I must confess...

267
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,511
"I once toilet papered the house

268
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,035
of the sweet old lady
who lived next door to me."

269
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,993
Yes!

270
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,151
Guilty as charged!

271
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:07,473
It's like this game was made for me!
I own you losers!

272
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:14,479
Oh, yeah, I win. I won.

273
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,878
Now I get my van fixed, right?

274
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,959
I'm very sorry for toilet papering
your house, ma'am.

275
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,511
It was a very bad thing,
and I would be honored to...

276
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,717
...mow your lawn and clean your car
for the rest of summer to make amends.

277
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,029
Okay, thank you. Bye, now.

278
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,073
You are so dead.

279
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,753
Where's Manny's pacifier?

280
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,230
I left it at home.

281
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,593
You did what?

282
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,196
I made an executive decision not to bring it.

283
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,680
He's way too old for one.

284
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,717
You know, this trip is a perfect
opportunity for him

285
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,395
to go cold turkey, you know?

286
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,632
It was all they had.

287
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,711
Rodrick, I said no phones.

288
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,951
I want to post it online. It's hilarious.

289
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,360
No!

290
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,871
No Instagrammy, no Snappychat!

291
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,632
I agree with Greg's stomach. We need to eat.

292
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,791
If you wake Manny up in the middle of a nap,

293
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,078
he goes completely ballistic
and there's no calming him down.

294
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,755
So when he's asleep,
Mom and Dad do everything they can

295
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,718
to keep him that way.

296
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,280
Okay guys, ready?

297
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,554
Whoa!

298
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,791
Greg, be more careful!

299
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,192
You almost woke up Manny.

300
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,510
Get the items on my list
and only the items on my list!

301
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,956
List, got it.

302
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,874
Whole-wheat bagel, cream cheese,

303
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,111
- baloney and apples?
- Yeah, you know, we should split up.

304
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,395
Divide and clunker.

305
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:35,596
Hey!

306
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,795
Did you get anything on Mom's list?

307
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,440
Relax, Greggy. I got better stuff.

308
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,592
# So let's sing this one more time #

309
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,594
# It goes, destination, permanent vacation #

310
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,639
Free Wi-fi. Perfect.

311
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,753
# Na-na, na-na na na #

312
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,674
- Hey, want to check out the pool?
- Sweet!

313
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,236
# Destination, permanent vacation #

314
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,635
Huh?

315
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,673
What a rip-off!

316
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,514
They should be sued for false advertising!

317
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,152
At least there's a hot tub.

318
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,799
But look at those weirdos.

319
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,640
Or should that be Beardos?

320
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,074
Good one.

321
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,240
Frank,

322
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,073
this place is disgusting!

323
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,391
Ah, it's not so bad.

324
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,910
It's just for one night.

325
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,630
These towels are wetter than my hands.

326
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,640
Mom!

327
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,194
Nobody uses the bathroom.

328
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,237
We'll clean up at the next stop.

329
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,674
Let's eat.

330
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,076
Yeah.

331
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,231
What were you two thinking?

332
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,556
We can't make dinner out of

333
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,950
uncooked cinnamon rolls

334
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,032
and bubblegum.

335
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,274
No, duh.

336
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,596
They're for dessert.
I got us a microwave pizza.

337
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,515
Rodrick?

338
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,794
That's a mini-safe.

339
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,915
Huh.

340
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,834
And they disguised it as a microwave.

341
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,880
Pretty smart.

342
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,152
Did you guys get anything on my list?

343
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,550
I couldn't read your curly
Oldie English writing.

344
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,320
Do you mean cursive?

345
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,680
Cursive?

346
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,472
Is it okay if I go use the hot tub?

347
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,679
Yeah, sure, just don't wake Manny
when you come back in.

348
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,037
- I am so hungry.
- Me, too.

349
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,280
"Grandparents React to Diaper Hands!"?

350
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,680
Diaper! It's a diaper,
it's a diaper, it's a diaper!

351
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,035
Hey, Cheez Nips.

352
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,999
What are you doing here?

353
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,639
I thought I'd join you,

354
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,519
in case any hot chicks
who dig musicians show up.

355
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,393
You got your phone from the van?

356
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,394
It's from Rowley.

357
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,632
"Have fun at Player Expo. Zoo-Wee-Mama."

358
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,235
Pfft! What a dork.

359
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,794
Player Expo?

360
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,033
You're planning to go
to your little nerd convention.

361
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,874
Oh, this is too good. I'm telling Mom.

362
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,156
No, Rodrick, give that back!

363
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,120
What?

364
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,830
- Oh, no.
- Oompa-Loompa.

365
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:28,239
After your little "I Confess" stunt today,
this is my chance to even the score.

366
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,432
Maybe Mom and Dad will even give me
the money to get my van fixed.

367
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,113
W-w-wait.

368
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,874
If you need money,
I have a better way to get you some.

369
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,992
To get a lot.

370
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,514
Come with me to Player Expo.

371
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,432
There are hot girls everywhere.

372
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,353
Why is she wearing armor with a bikini?

373
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,433
It's called cosplay. And there's a lot of it.

374
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,671
Are those even real?

375
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,958
I doubt it. People make
their weapons out of foam and stuff.

376
00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,273
But the best part is, there's a
video game drummer competition

377
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:04,070
just like Rock Band,
and I think the prize is about $1,000.

378
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,871
$1,000?

379
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,872
I'd be able to buy ten vans with that.

380
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:14,592
But now you're telling Mom.
I guess there's no way I'm going.

381
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,876
If I say we're going, we're going.

382
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,880
You get that, chico?

383
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,080
Oh!

384
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,040
What are you doing?

385
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,713
This isn't what it looks like.

386
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,269
Are you doing work?

387
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,631
Okay, it is what it looks like.

388
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,111
Look, I couldn't tell my boss
I was taking the week off.

389
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,270
You get that, right?

390
00:23:55,360 --> 00:24:00,230
Yeah, I totally get that.
But if Mom found out, she'd go ballistic.

391
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,915
I know. That's why you and I need to...

392
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,835
Did you take your phone from the van?

393
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,310
No.

394
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,992
Greg. If Mom found out, she'd go ballistic.

395
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,591
Okay, okay. I'll put it back.

396
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,956
I won't tell Mom I saw anything. I promise.

397
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,596
The thing is, I want Mom to be happy.

398
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,354
I'm sure you don't want
to disappoint her, do you?

399
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,719
Definitely not.

400
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,838
What do you say we keep this
little arrangement between us guys?

401
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,276
What Mom doesn't know won't hurt her, right?

402
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:37,990
Sure.

403
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:39,520
Good boy.

404
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,759
Are you orange?

405
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,510
Yep.

406
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,192
Where am I supposed to sleep?

407
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,674
What are you doing?
Some people are trying to sleep!

408
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,277
Put some pants on, creep!

409
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,510
Oh, you guys think that's funny.

410
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,271
Well, you won't be laughing
when I report you to the manager

411
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:08,034
and he throws you and your
whole Beardo family out!

412
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,440
Oh, yeah?

413
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,351
What is going on out here?

414
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,718
My van!

415
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,791
Why did you do that?

416
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,314
Me?

417
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,037
This weirdo shows up in his underpants

418
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,555
and when we ask him to put some clothes on,

419
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,677
he threatens to beat us up!

420
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,910
What?

421
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,236
I... No, no, no. That's not true!

422
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:51,633
And he called you a "fat Beardo!"

423
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:55,710
Come here, punk!

424
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,991
Dad! Dad! Help!

425
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,839
- Hey!
- Huh?

426
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,070
Is that your kid?

427
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,230
What kid?

428
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:12,750
Inside!

429
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,835
I know you're out there, kid!

430
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:22,836
I tracked down original floor mats
to a vintage camper, son!

431
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,116
I will find you!

432
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,471
Why do I have to sleep in the closet?

433
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,269
Come on. Move over.

434
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,358
What are you doing in my room?

435
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,430
Where were you?

436
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,840
I just went for a quick jog.

437
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:29,956
In your underwear?

438
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,079
I like the fresh air.

439
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,310
Okay.

440
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,073
Honey, that's not a good idea.

441
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,596
What's with all the standing around?

442
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,115
Let's get back on the road, right, Mom?

443
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,638
I'm with Greg. Open road,
here comes the Heffley family.

444
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,752
Seriously, next time, wear pants.

445
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,320
There are a lot of weirdos out there.

446
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,239
And Beardos.

447
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,077
# I can patch up the hole #

448
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,551
# She left in the screen door #

449
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,638
# I can pawn off the ring #

450
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,349
# That she threw on the floor #

451
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:17,116
# And the grass will grow back where #

452
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:21,114
# She left tracks in the yard #

453
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,317
# That ain't the hardest part #

454
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:26,993
That song is such a bummer.

455
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,118
What? Rodrick, get back.

456
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,833
What is this?

457
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,115
Is this even music?

458
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,590
It's Loded Diper's new demo! You're welcome!

459
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,433
Yeah. Thank you.

460
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,113
My drum solo was coming up.

461
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,431
- It's thirteen minutes of heaven.
- Nuh-uh.

462
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,196
First rule of a road trip
is the driver is the D.J.

463
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,114
That's great, because I'm the driver

464
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,398
and I picked our theme song for our trip.

465
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,278
It's a family tradition.

466
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,670
Grandpa and Grandma used to pick the music

467
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,433
and us kids would sing along.

468
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,873
- I like this.
- I know.

469
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,794
It was a big hit when we were dating, right?

470
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,955
# Yo, tell me what I want
what I really, really want #

471
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,111
# So tell me what you want
what you really, really want #

472
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,874
# I'll tell you what I want
what I really, really want #

473
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,553
Please stop, please stop!

474
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,279
No! This isn't happening!

475
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,551
Please, just stop, stop, please!

476
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,232
Okay, fine!

477
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,040
I was really enjoying that.

478
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,238
Just try something else. Anything else.

479
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,155
Okay.

480
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,754
You win.

481
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,356
I choose "Hola!: Learn to Speak Spanish."

482
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:50,271
Let's start with the most common
greeting, "Hello" or "Hi."

483
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,194
"Hi" is simply "Hola" in Spanish.

484
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,158
Can you try that, please?

485
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,390
Hola.

486
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,949
Hola. Did you get that right?

487
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,270
"To drink" translates to "beber".

488
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,833
Try saying that. Beber.

489
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,118
You guys are in for a treat.

490
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,153
The country fair will be a great opportunity

491
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,119
for you to see how people live
in the real America.

492
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,317
Wait. So where do we live again?

493
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,120
You guys are actually descended
from country folk.

494
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,193
Peepaw's father worked three jobs

495
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,990
until he had enough money
to buy his own land to grow soybeans.

496
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,549
Why would anyone want to grow soybeans?

497
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,993
Great story. Wake me up when it's over.

498
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,469
Wow. Just wow.

499
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,239
Were we this bored by our parents?

500
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,355
If we agree to go to this country fair,

501
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,836
can we get our phones back after?
As a reward?

502
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:47,831
No.

503
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,153
How about just for an hour?
We do something for you

504
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,954
and you do something for us. That's fair.

505
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,000
The country fair is a treat.

506
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,919
You don't get a reward
for agreeing to a treat!

507
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,033
You boys are going to the country fair
and you're going to enjoy yourselves.

508
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:04,076
Do I make myself clear?

509
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,394
Hey, what do you say we split up?

510
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:30,880
Um, you take Manny on the rides

511
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,032
and I'll show these boys
how to win some carnival games, huh?

512
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,715
These guys don't need a parent
getting in the way.

513
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,678
It'll be good for them
to spend time together.

514
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,160
Bonding.

515
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,640
All the rides look lame.

516
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,871
And old. Really old.

517
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,311
You guys go get your "country" on.

518
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,313
Spit some seed, ride some hay.

519
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,040
And don't forget
to eat something healthy, okay?

520
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,670
Take advantage of all the amazing
produce here.

521
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,071
- Definitely, yeah, definitely.
- Yeah, produce.

522
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,913
Mmm! Have fun.

523
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,320
Deep-fried butter on a stick!

524
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:09,760
Oh, my.

525
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:12,836
Here you go.

526
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,553
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

527
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,193
Two deep-fried butters
on a stick, please, amigo.

528
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,760
Regular or extra-crispy?

529
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,718
Extra-crispy, obviously.

530
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,195
This is the best moment of my life!

531
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,114
Maybe we should get
a funnel cake and a sausage stick.

532
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,714
Ice cream's on the budget.

533
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,039
We need to leave.

534
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,873
I'll take two more.

535
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,439
Dad, I'm country-ed out. Can we go?

536
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,672
I am in a serious bind.
I need to make a work phone call.

537
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,275
- Where's Mom?
- She's in line for the porta-potty.

538
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:01,760
I figure I've got, like, 20 minutes.

539
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,990
Can you do me a favor?

540
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,839
Can you take him over to the livestock tent?

541
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,389
I can't have him melting down
while I'm on this call.

542
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:08,675
Me take him?

543
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,195
Yeah. Spend some quality time
with your brother, all right?

544
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,079
Ten bucks. Ten bucks? Perfect.

545
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:19,550
Come on, Manny.

546
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,753
Sorry, missy, you did not guess
the exact weight. But...

547
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:40,357
you do get this here lollipop.
Now, who's next?

548
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,920
Lollipop.

549
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,356
- Step on up here, folks.
- Not now, Manny.

550
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,592
Okay, okay.

551
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,439
Look around here. Who we got?

552
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,035
Who's next here? Hey there, little fella.

553
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,113
Let me ask you something.
Can you see that pig right there?

554
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,400
How much you think that pig weighs?

555
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,154
Honestly, he just wants a lollipop.

556
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:06,916
Oh. Well now, for a lollipop,
I'm still gonna have to have a guess.

557
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,992
But he can only count 1, 2, 3.

558
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,400
4, 5, 6!

559
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,832
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

560
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,389
Ol' Wilberta there weighs exactly

561
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,835
456 pounds, on the nose. How about that?

562
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,912
Bless your little heart.

563
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,596
Son, you won the grand prize.
How about that, ladies and gentlemen?

564
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,751
Manny, this is awesome.

565
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,311
Now, just be gentle with him now.

566
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,159
Go ahead there, take him.

567
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:36,118
There you go. Look at him!

568
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,557
Oh, no, no, no. We... we can't take this pig.

569
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,997
You're saying that you're not gonna
let the little one keep it?

570
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,390
A boy needs a pig.

571
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,952
But we don't live on farms.
We're normal people.

572
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,351
You're saying folks that live
on farms ain't normal.

573
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,039
That's not what I mean.

574
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,635
We just don't have anywhere to keep it.

575
00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:59,189
Ma'am, you wouldn't let
a pig inside your house

576
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:00,913
with your baby, would you?

577
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,636
We'll take our pig and go.

578
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,918
All right, we had a winner, how about that?

579
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,434
A grand prize winner, ladies and gentlemen.

580
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:25,990
Please don't poop.

581
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,070
I got you, kid!

582
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,674
No, I can hear you fine.

583
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,831
Dad, here's Manny. Got to go.

584
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:32,910
Wait, no!

585
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,870
Hey! Why are you being such a spaz?

586
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,317
I'm not. I'm just really excited to, uh...

587
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,312
To ride the "Alien Abduction."

588
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,720
Let's rock.

589
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,712
Stay against the wall and keep
your hands to yourself!

590
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,797
We're off.

591
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,591
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

592
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,114
# Let yourself go #

593
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,990
I knew I shouldn't have ate
that 9th stick of butter.

594
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,309
Ninth?

595
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,193
You!

596
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,709
Stop the ride! Stop the ride!

597
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,951
It's a diaper, it's a diaper, it's a diaper!

598
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,190
What the heck?

599
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,760
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

600
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,116
# Let yourself go #

601
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,396
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

602
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,836
# Let yourself go #

603
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,151
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

604
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:33,550
# Let yourself go #

605
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,996
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

606
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,390
# Let yourself go #

607
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:48,240
# Gotta let it go, gotta let it go #

608
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,319
Watch it, you jerk.

609
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,754
Sorry!

610
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,638
Stop it!

611
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,470
Get off of me!

612
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,711
You need to move, kid,
or I will climb over you.

613
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,871
I'm warning you, please don't.

614
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,669
I'm not an A student of physics or anything,

615
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,911
but I'm familiar with the theory,

616
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,396
"What comes up, must fall down."

617
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:23,511
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

618
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,637
# Let yourself go #

619
00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,474
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

620
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,313
# Let yourself go #

621
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,196
# Let yourself go, let yourself go #

622
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,272
# Let yourself go #

623
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,674
I could go for another stick
of deep-fried butter.

624
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,594
Oh, God, no! It's in my mouth!

625
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,673
Let's get out of here.

626
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:52,276
Where did you go?
That was an important phone call.

627
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,000
Okay, all right. Let's still keep this
between us, all right?

628
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,919
Oh, you guys are all together.

629
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,396
Did the Heffley boys have fun?

630
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,075
Absolutely, an amazing time. Together.

631
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,356
I won a prize.

632
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,512
What? You did, sweetie? What did you win?

633
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,200
Oh, my gosh.

634
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,759
A pig.

635
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,399
An actual pig.

636
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,475
An actual living pig.

637
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,199
How did this happen?

638
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,193
Uh...

639
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,640
Uh...

640
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,076
Manny guessed the weight, right, Dad?

641
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,479
Uh... that's right. Um, in the...

642
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,630
The livestock tent.

643
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:42,633
In the livestock tent. Right. That's...

644
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:45,110
Yeah, but you know,
now that I think about it, uh,

645
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,998
keeping a pig, that's...
that's not a good idea

646
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,800
because it's not a pet
and it belongs in a barnyard.

647
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,519
And we should take it back.

648
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,717
I love my piggy.

649
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,918
And this is just occurring to you now?

650
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,719
I think it's great we have a pig.

651
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,235
Cause now we'll be able to get bacon
from it every morning.

652
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,432
The truth is, I wasn't 100% there
when Manny won the pig.

653
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:09,749
He was with Greg.

654
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,512
I-I couldn't help it.

655
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:13,920
I really didn't want to take it,

656
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,199
but there was a lot of pressure
from, I'm guessing, farmers?

657
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,839
What is going on here?

658
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,435
I wasn't with them because

659
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:25,954
I had to make a work call.

660
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,760
- Frank!
- I'm under a lot of pressure right now.

661
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,033
And, honestly, I don't think a total
technology ban is realistic.

662
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,998
I need to make calls to the office.

663
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,118
And Greg's a modern kid.
Using his phone is in his DNA.

664
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,113
What? Greg's been using his phone, too?

665
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,034
Oh, come on. You made a deal with me.

666
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,998
Will someone please pay for my van repairs?

667
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,197
Stop! Let me get this straight.

668
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,193
You and Greg have been using your phones,

669
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,119
and you both conspired to keep this from me?

670
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,314
We're leaving.

671
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,112
And we're keeping the pig.

672
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,714
Let's learn the Spanish for,
"What is your name?"

673
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,230
translated word by word.

674
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,630
"What" translates to "Qué."

675
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,319
What's the matter with it?

676
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:24,236
Greg, please tell your father that his pig
probably needs to use the bathroom.

677
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:28,560
You know,
I could really use the bathroom, too.

678
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,552
I drank way too much lemonade.

679
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,633
Okay, then tell your father
to pull over at the next gas station

680
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,677
and you can take his pig in with you.

681
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,080
What?

682
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,157
You're just gonna have
to keep your legs crossed.

683
00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:41,197
The next exit is 37 miles.

684
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,590
Thirty-seven miles?

685
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,353
That's way too far.

686
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,240
It's no use. I can't hold it.

687
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:12,719
Greg, for goodness sake!

688
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,352
Don't spill any.

689
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:20,954
Oh!

690
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,234
It's filling up.

691
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:28,640
Then stop peeing.

692
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:29,995
It doesn't work that way.

693
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,640
I've started, now I've got to see it through.

694
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:34,074
He's right.

695
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:35,640
Oh!

696
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,310
Here.

697
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,480
I don't want it!

698
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,072
Oh, look how cute.

699
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,070
The piggy's better
potty trained than you, Greg.

700
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,238
Oh, my God!

701
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,433
What's happening?

702
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,713
No way!

703
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,037
Check it out, a mini-bar.

704
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,271
- Sweet.
- Back up.

705
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,558
Nobody touches the mini-bar.

706
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,757
I'm not paying $7 for a cookie.

707
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,713
Where's the pig gonna sleep?

708
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,514
No!

709
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,391
No fair. The pig can use the mini-bar
and we can't?

710
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:29,555
You realize this will probably cost
more than the hotel room.

711
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,712
I love you, piggy.

712
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,433
# Work, work #

713
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,080
# Gotta get that work #

714
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,550
# Work, work, gotta get that work #

715
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,951
# Work, work, gotta get that work #

716
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:46,880
Please let me take this call

717
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,111
and I will put work aside
for the rest of the trip, okay?

718
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:50,759
Nothing but family time, I promise.

719
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,593
- Nothing but family time?
- Promise.

720
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,512
Okay, deal. Just get it over with.

721
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,434
Boys, let's help your dad and be quiet
for the next 10 minutes

722
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,672
so that he can finally put work behind him
and join the vacation.

723
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:01,910
Sure.

724
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:02,877
Whatever.

725
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,355
Quiet. Here we go.

726
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:07,510
Hey, this is Frank.

727
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,193
Frank, where have you been?

728
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,839
Hi, Julie, yeah.

729
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,675
I'm sorry, things just snowballed
on my end, uh-huh.

730
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,599
That's not a problem. I can handle that.

731
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,440
Okay.

732
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,436
Uh-huh.

733
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,634
Your shushes are louder than my chewings.

734
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:35,799
Yeah.

735
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,590
Throw it out.

736
00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:44,357
Yeah, uh, I don't know.

737
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,113
I mean, there's a weird connection.

738
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,276
Uh-huh.

739
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,000
- Hello?
- I'm still here, Julie.

740
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,720
Frank, the deadline
for the proposal is this Friday.

741
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,672
Ow!

742
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,239
Get the pacifier!

743
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:15,270
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

744
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,920
Get the pig!

745
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:25,356
Ugh.

746
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,672
"To drink" translates to "beber".

747
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,680
Try saying that.

748
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,872
"To read" becomes "leer".

749
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,030
Your turn.

750
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,951
"To be able to" is "poder" in Spanish.

751
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,636
"To know" becomes "saber".

752
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:01,918
Once again..."saber".

753
00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:07,153
That's great. Thanks, everybody.

754
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,159
I'll be lucky to have a job come Monday!

755
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:13,751
Had to take a road trip.
Had to take a road trip!

756
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,833
Frank! What's happening?

757
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,639
What road trip?

758
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,153
Frank? Who are you talking to?

759
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,118
Are you there?

760
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,350
Hello?

761
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,955
Hey, Dad? I think
you might still be connected.

762
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,636
Frank? What's going on? Where are you?

763
00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:33,836
Answer me.

764
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:47,555
Rodrick, I thought Meemaw's was just
two inches from Player Expo.

765
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:51,031
But on this map, it's like seven!

766
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,349
So?

767
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,035
So we're going to be too far away from it.

768
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:59,279
I'll never be in the Mac Digby video
and you'll never win your $1,000.

769
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,357
You better fix this mess, El Dorko.
I need that money.

770
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:08,834
I have an idea.

771
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:20,790
Hurry up.

772
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,995
Changing destination
to Parkway Convention Center.

773
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,120
Manny and the pig had really bonded.

774
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,715
But from the look on Mom and Dad's faces,

775
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,396
I could tell that its days
with the Heffley family were numbered.

776
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,834
How do you say the words
"your name" in Spanish?

777
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:17,040
Will you say, "Tu nombre" or "Mi nombre"

778
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,316
or "Su nombre"?

779
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,272
I just don't get it. We're miles off course.

780
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,033
That's why you shouldn't trust technology.

781
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,510
If we'd just used a map instead of the GPS...

782
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,752
Don't worry.
I think we can make up the time tomorrow.

783
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,280
I hope so.

784
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,597
Guys, come here. Check this out.

785
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,394
Come here. I made it for Meemaw's birthday.

786
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,153
It's a memory book.

787
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,674
Let's see. That's Meemaw when she was a baby.

788
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,512
Is she a boy or a girl?

789
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,276
Wow. Who's that soldier?

790
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:01,593
That's Meemaw's brother, Fred,
in World War ll.

791
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,353
She'll show you his medals if you ask her.

792
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,113
He was a tough old guy.

793
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,594
This is our family history, you guys.

794
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:14,038
This book dates all the way up to...

795
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,635
No! No way, no, no!
No, you can't show her those photos.

796
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:22,277
Yeah, Mom. You can't give Meemaw
a photo of my naked butt!

797
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,033
Oh, it's so cute.

798
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,752
Okay, guys, come on.
We all got to get up early.

799
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,116
- Let's get ready for bed.
- Yes, we do. We do. Okay.

800
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,192
Come on, Manny.

801
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,634
Get your pajamas on everyone.

802
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,234
We made it.

803
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,874
We're back to just two inches
away from Player Expo.

804
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,429
Sweet. Tomorrow we ride, compadre.

805
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,910
I don't know how we're gonna get to the Expo.

806
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,320
Do you have any money?

807
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:15,354
We don't need money.
We'll use Uber. It's completely free.

808
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:16,430
Free?

809
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,159
But how do they make a profit?

810
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,272
I don't know, I'm not a businesswoman.

811
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,350
See? No money changed hands.

812
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,478
It really is free. That's incredible.

813
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,118
But I didn't think it would take an hour
to drive two inches.

814
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:55,954
This is incredible!

815
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,033
I know. I've never seen
so many dorks in one place before.

816
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,840
These are my people.
This is where I'm meant to be.

817
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,560
Diaper! It's a diaper!

818
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,594
Diaper! It's a diaper, man!

819
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:08,830
- Yup.
- It's a diaper!

820
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,394
Ooo-aahh!

821
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:25,118
I don't want to be late to Meemaw's party.

822
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,920
And I don't know why
they're not answering their phones.

823
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,037
You did say no technology.

824
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:35,679
Are you seriously giving me
the "I told you so" look right now?

825
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:38,990
No.

826
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,033
Welcome to Rock Drummer.

827
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,352
This contestant says he's a professional.
Let's see how he does.

828
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:50,670
Uh-oh.

829
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,432
Ooh.

830
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:55,113
Not good.

831
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,111
My grandma drums better than that.

832
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,032
Time to rock out of here, champ.

833
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,877
I guess Rodrick won't be getting
his van fixed anytime soon.

834
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:15,235
We've been to the convention,
had a swell time.

835
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:19,758
Going home in the morning
and nobody's any the wiser!

836
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,872
It's been too long.
I'm gonna call the police.

837
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:32,792
Yes, I need to file
a missing person's report.

838
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,872
It's my two sons, Rodrick and Greg.

839
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,960
Rodrick is 16 and Greg is 12.

840
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:42,238
What are they wearing? I don't know.

841
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,516
Rodrick is wearing a black Motorhead T-shirt

842
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,877
and Greg's wearing a Twisted Wizard
baseball tee with blue sleeves.

843
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,998
How do you know that?

844
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,072
...at Player Expo. You're right!

845
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:57,915
I am at Player Expo, right now.
The hottest ticket in town.

846
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,072
And there is no better place to discover
what the new hottest trends are.

847
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,514
Bubby!

848
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:06,435
What do your parents think about you guys
coming to the Expo to play video games?

849
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,432
Oh, they have no idea.

850
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,479
Frankly, Jill, they're a little slow.

851
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,677
Well, they are a little slow if

852
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,912
you're here and they
don't know where you are.

853
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,316
Why don't you come on
down and join them here,

854
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,960
because it's loads of fun at the Expo.

855
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,680
Look at the fun they're having now.

856
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:28,271
Actually, I'd like to report a double murder

857
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:32,070
at Player Expo in about 30 minutes.

858
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:37,439
Right now on the main stage,
we've got the great Mac Digby.

859
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,472
Look! There he is.

860
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:41,711
The game is Downhill Death Race.

861
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,269
Dat's how Digby do it!

862
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,871
This is awesome!
Mac is about to beat the world record!

863
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,236
Once people see a video of me and Mac Digby,

864
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,391
I'll be the coolest kid in middle school,

865
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,631
and everyone will forget about Diaper Hands.

866
00:55:54,720 --> 00:55:56,393
No one will ever forget about Diaper Hands.

867
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:57,550
It's way too funny.

868
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:00,516
Nuh-uh.

869
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,390
I have an appointment with Mac Digby.

870
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,995
He sent me this email
inviting me to play with him.

871
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,356
They sent that out to every kid in here.

872
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:09,920
The line ends back there.

873
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,991
Mac Digby's become the first
player ever to beat Level 28!

874
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,675
The email was just a trick
to get kids to show up today.

875
00:56:25,240 --> 00:56:27,357
There's no way I can wait in that line.

876
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,909
I'll never be in a YouTube video
with Mac Digby.

877
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,878
I'm gonna go down this slope real quick,

878
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,031
shred some fresh powder!

879
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:35,955
Unless...

880
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:37,878
How you like that, noob?

881
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:50,751
Okay, so make sure
me and Mac are both in shot.

882
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,833
And I'll make it seem like
we're both hanging out.

883
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,754
Then I'll post it on to YouTube
and mission accomplished.

884
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,672
This is where it all goes down.

885
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:05,231
Mac Digby going head-to-head
with some of his biggest fans,

886
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,835
live here at Player Expo.

887
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:11,596
Digby's on his game today.
At the rate he's going,

888
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,593
this could be his best day of gaming ever.

889
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,991
Catch that snowball to the face!
Dat's how Digby do it!

890
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,113
And he's done it. He's at level 31!

891
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:22,475
Yeah!

892
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,791
Looks like he's only
moments away from breaking

893
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,560
the Downhill Death Race world record!

894
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,073
Avalanche! Whoa!

895
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:36,194
Mac Digby showing total control.

896
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,954
This dude's about to get pwned!

897
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:40,997
Whoa! This is good, guys.

898
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,720
Digby! Digby!

899
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,793
This is insane!
You're witnessing gamer history!

900
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:49,471
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on?

901
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,912
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

902
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,232
What have you done?
I was about to beat the record!

903
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:56,879
Who are you?

904
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,474
Uh, I'm...

905
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,631
Greg Heffley!

906
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,633
You are grounded for life!

907
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:07,316
And I swear, never again
will you play a video game

908
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,916
as long as there is breath in my body.

909
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,913
Really, Greg, I thought maybe
you would have grown up a little bit

910
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,232
after the whole "Diaper Hands" business,
but I guess not.

911
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:33,517
No way! It's him! Ladies and gents!

912
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,876
We have a celebrity in our midst!

913
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,839
My record breaking attempt
was ruined by none other than

914
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:40,513
Diaper Hands!

915
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,193
This is incredible!

916
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,352
We have the real Diaper Hands on our stage.

917
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,512
And Diaper Hands has a real name...
Greg Heffley!

918
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,671
Way to go, Greg!

919
00:58:51,760 --> 00:59:00,237
Diaper Hands, Greg Heffley!

920
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:10,950
Dat's how Diaper Hands do it!

921
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:14,397
That's right, folks,
let's hear it for Diaper Hands!

922
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,352
You fixed the GPS to drive here.

923
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:21,875
You tricked us, and now we're going
to be late to Meemaw's birthday.

924
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,156
I don't even think
we're gonna make it on time.

925
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,632
You embarrassed me in front of everyone, Mom.

926
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,519
Now I'm gonna be known
as Diaper Hands forever!

927
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,231
It'll blow over.

928
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:38,553
You know what won't? You lying to me.

929
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:42,680
I just wanted to have a nice family trip
where we all spent time together.

930
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,437
But you don't care about that.

931
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,314
Well, you don't care
about the things I love, either!

932
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:52,076
If you did, I wouldn't have had
to sneak away to get to this place!

933
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,113
I give up.

934
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,318
Take my phone. Play games.

935
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,437
Enjoy yourself.

936
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:12,113
I'm done fighting.

937
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,272
We're two hours from Meemaw's.

938
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,558
It's gonna be tight, but I think we're
gonna make it by the end of the party.

939
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,879
Hey. At least you have your Mac Digby video.

940
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:45,236
What the...

941
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,074
...worldwide record is 28 million.
And I'm about to beat it!

942
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:49,719
You used the front-facing camera?

943
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,110
Did I?

944
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,634
My bad.

945
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:19,880
What's that idiot honking at?

946
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,270
Just let him get by you.

947
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,637
# Almost heaven, West Virginia #

948
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,120
# Blue Ridge mountains #

949
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,556
# Shenandoah River #

950
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:30,915
# Life is old there #

951
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:32,633
# Older than the trees #

952
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:34,279
# Younger than the mountains #

953
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:35,635
# Blowin' in the breeze #

954
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:39,794
# Country road, take me home, to... #

955
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:41,758
- Um, Dad?
- What?

956
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,115
You might want to stop the car.

957
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:44,520
What? Why?

958
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,559
Holy Mother of...

959
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:51,435
#...home, country road #

960
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,233
This wouldn't have happened
if we were already at Meemaw's.

961
01:01:58,360 --> 01:01:59,999
Hey, guys, good news!

962
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:03,599
Whoo! Every silver lining has a cloud!

963
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,830
Everything is ruined. All our things...

964
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,355
our clothes, our toiletries... gone!

965
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,193
Oh, no.

966
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:16,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah, put that in.

967
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:18,955
What the heck?

968
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:21,635
Get in the car! Get in the car!

969
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:23,154
Hey! That's our stuff!

970
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,200
Yes.

971
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:28,990
Meemaw's book!
The memory book is in that case.

972
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,116
Come on!

973
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,393
Payback time, punk!

974
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:51,234
Come on! Back to the van!

975
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:53,960
Run, run! We're gonna catch up
with those guys! Come on!

976
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,071
Hey, do you know that guy?

977
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:03,152
How would I know that guy?

978
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:23,670
I don't see them.

979
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,832
Are you going to be okay?

980
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:34,915
Those photos were irreplaceable.

981
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:41,238
I really thought coming on this trip
would bring our family closer together.

982
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:44,511
But I'll know better next time.

983
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,473
You want one?

984
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:24,992
Greg, I wouldn't encourage them.

985
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,514
There's only one.

986
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:41,080
Seriously, Greg. That's enough.

987
01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:50,754
Dad? Can you close the sunroof?

988
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:53,839
Rodrick gummed it up, remember?

989
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,951
Hey! Give it back!

990
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,434
- You guys all right?
- Thank you, we're fine! We're fine!

991
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:04,318
This is pretty bad for you.

992
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,039
You snuck to Player Expo, too.

993
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:07,918
You're in as much trouble as I am.

994
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,354
No way.

995
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:12,433
I've spent years lowering
Mom and Dad's expectations.

996
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:15,991
They expect this kind of stuff
from me, but not you.

997
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,194
I mean, sure, Mom makes you read word books

998
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:24,593
and bans you from devices cause
she wants you to live a "happy life."

999
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:28,356
But she just doesn't get what it's like
to be a kid in the 20th century.

1000
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:49,874
I'm sorry.

1001
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:51,959
What'd you do this time?

1002
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,111
I'm sorry for changing the GPS.

1003
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:57,471
I'm sorry for tricking Mom into this.

1004
01:06:57,560 --> 01:07:00,871
I'm sorry for sneaking away.
I'm sorry for all of it.

1005
01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:04,156
I appreciate your apology, Greg,

1006
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:06,835
but I really wanted us to go to Meemaw's.

1007
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,632
Well, let's not give up.
Let's go to Meemaw's.

1008
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:12,879
How are we going to do that?

1009
01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:15,995
Dad, did you give up on
that phone call with your boss

1010
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:17,992
when the pig got loose in the car?

1011
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:20,470
I probably should have, but no.

1012
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,916
And if Meemaw's brother Fred gave up,

1013
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:25,595
do you think we'd have defeated
the British in World War ll?

1014
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,554
Definitely not the case.

1015
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:29,597
And Mom, will you ever give up

1016
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:31,797
on making us read books and eat healthy food,

1017
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:34,395
even though we fight you
every step of the way?

1018
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:37,120
Of course not. I love you guys.

1019
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:41,154
Exactly. I mean, things
look pretty bad for us.

1020
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:44,790
But we've come this far
and Meemaw's party isn't over yet.

1021
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,520
So shouldn't we at least try to get there?

1022
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:49,389
Greg's right.

1023
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:52,393
We're gonna get to Meemaw's if it kills us.

1024
01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:55,389
It almost already has.

1025
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:56,960
The radiator's shot.

1026
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:58,952
We got this traffic to deal with.

1027
01:07:59,960 --> 01:08:01,952
One time, I couldn't reach the remote

1028
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:03,759
and I had to watch this show where this guy

1029
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,639
blasted his heater to cool his car down.

1030
01:08:06,720 --> 01:08:08,598
- Or something.
- I've heard of that.

1031
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,832
You turn the heater on, it draws the heat
away from the engine. Yeah!

1032
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:13,798
Good boy!

1033
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:16,440
But what are we gonna do about the traffic?

1034
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,432
We could try a different route.

1035
01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:22,270
Let's do it.

1036
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:26,000
One, two, three.

1037
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:27,190
Heffley!

1038
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:36,791
Hold on.

1039
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:57,120
I have never been so hot.

1040
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:05,950
Look.

1041
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,079
Oh!

1042
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,150
I don't like this.

1043
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:15,276
I saw a movie once

1044
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,953
where a bunch of mutant hillbillies

1045
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:18,997
led a group of tourists off the main road.

1046
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,320
For what?

1047
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,995
To hunt them. And then eat them.

1048
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:27,391
Rodrick, you'll scare Manny. Stop.

1049
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:30,596
It was a true story.

1050
01:09:57,200 --> 01:09:59,590
I've been shot! I've been shot!

1051
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:01,876
My brains! My beautiful brains!

1052
01:10:01,960 --> 01:10:05,112
Rodrick, you have not been shot!

1053
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:07,112
I'm too young to die!

1054
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:09,032
I'll never play Ozzfest.

1055
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,271
I'll never see Loded Diper
in the Hall of Fame!

1056
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,272
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

1057
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,352
I'll never get the van fixed.

1058
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:17,800
My brains!

1059
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,153
Monster baby!

1060
01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:25,160
We're stuck.

1061
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:37,079
Everybody out. The less weight, the better.

1062
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:44,590
I'm going to gun it.

1063
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,390
Do it.

1064
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:06,160
Okay, we are in business.

1065
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:12,999
What'd you guys do?

1066
01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:26,354
Look. There's a bigger road.

1067
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:28,034
Thank God.

1068
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:32,114
No way. Dad, stop the car.

1069
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:36,350
Look.

1070
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:42,790
The Beardos.

1071
01:11:47,480 --> 01:11:49,073
If those guys are going to a hot tub,

1072
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,635
they'll be there for hours, trust me.

1073
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,034
I have a plan.

1074
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:11,111
It's open.

1075
01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:16,997
I don't like this at all.

1076
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:20,118
Let's just get our stuff. Everybody search.

1077
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:31,999
Oh, my God.

1078
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:36,157
We are a mess.

1079
01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:39,474
Mom, you look like that
one chick from Mad Max.

1080
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:41,799
Charlize Theron?

1081
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:42,791
Pfft!

1082
01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:45,276
No. No, the old one.

1083
01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:48,671
The one that got squashed
by the water truck. Roadkill.

1084
01:12:50,480 --> 01:12:52,551
Let's use their bathroom to get cleaned up.

1085
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:57,436
Good idea. We don't want to show up
to Meemaw's looking like roadkill.

1086
01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:01,230
I'm gonna take Manny back to the van.

1087
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:03,232
The van... that's why
we can't find our stuff.

1088
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:05,437
It's still in their van. Let's go!

1089
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,354
- I need to use the bathroom.
- Me, too.

1090
01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:13,194
Okay. Keep watch for each other, all right?

1091
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:14,430
Meet you outside.

1092
01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:24,793
Meemaw's memory book! Yes!

1093
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:26,434
- Let's go get the boat.
- Okay!

1094
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:34,874
Hey, it's me, Rodrick. Your brother.

1095
01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:36,713
You almost scared me to death.

1096
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,838
I wanted to let you know that Beardo's
entering the room right now.

1097
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:41,752
- What?
- Good luck, Greggy.

1098
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:43,877
I wish I could say it was nice knowing you.

1099
01:13:56,440 --> 01:13:59,956
Those kids got to learn
to clean up after themselves.

1100
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:57,872
He didn't even wash his hands.

1101
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:08,040
What the heck?

1102
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:46,674
My eyes! My eyes!

1103
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,758
Start the car!

1104
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:05,910
Everybody in!

1105
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:11,278
I'm gonna get you punks!

1106
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:14,191
I'm gonna chase you down!

1107
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:16,954
Oh, yeah? Then you're gonna need these.

1108
01:16:25,880 --> 01:16:27,200
They're right here!

1109
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:33,754
It's a diaper. Diaper, it's a diaper.

1110
01:16:33,840 --> 01:16:35,433
It's a diaper, it's a diaper.

1111
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,354
# Yo, I'll tell you what I want #

1112
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:41,510
# What I really really want #
# So tell me what you want #

1113
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:43,790
# What you really really want #
# I'll tell you what I want #

1114
01:16:43,880 --> 01:16:45,956
# What I really really want #
# So tell me what you want #

1115
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:47,275
# What you really really want #

1116
01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:49,192
# I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna #

1117
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:51,397
# I wanna really really
really wanna zigazig ah #

1118
01:16:51,480 --> 01:16:53,711
# If you wanna be my lover #

1119
01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:55,632
# You gotta get with my friends #

1120
01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:57,837
# Make it last forever #

1121
01:16:57,920 --> 01:17:00,310
# Friendship never ends #

1122
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,278
# If you wanna be my lover #

1123
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:04,158
# You have got to give #

1124
01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:06,391
# Taking is too easy #

1125
01:17:06,480 --> 01:17:08,711
# But that's the way it is #

1126
01:17:08,800 --> 01:17:10,678
# So here's a story from A to Z #

1127
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:13,150
# You wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully #

1128
01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:15,391
# We got Em in the place
who likes it in your face #

1129
01:17:15,480 --> 01:17:17,472
# We got G like MC who likes it on an #

1130
01:17:17,560 --> 01:17:19,153
# Easy V doesn't come for free #

1131
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:20,475
# She's a real lady #

1132
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:22,074
# And as for me, now you'll see #

1133
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:24,470
# Slam your body down
and wind it all around #

1134
01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:26,392
# Slam your body down and zigazig ah #

1135
01:17:26,480 --> 01:17:28,437
# If you wanna be my lover #

1136
01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:30,318
# You gotta get with my friends #

1137
01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:32,712
# Make it last forever #

1138
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:35,190
# Friendship never ends #

1139
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:37,237
We are officially out of road.

1140
01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:41,557
# You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, you gotta #

1141
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,474
# You gotta slam, slam, slam, slam #
# Make it last forever #

1142
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:47,598
Come on, baby. Get there.

1143
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,190
# If you wanna be my lover #

1144
01:17:58,200 --> 01:17:59,873
We killed the car.

1145
01:18:00,880 --> 01:18:01,950
Sorry, hon.

1146
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:18,590
Look!

1147
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:21,232
Is that Meemaw's house?

1148
01:18:22,160 --> 01:18:23,480
I think it is.

1149
01:18:23,560 --> 01:18:25,313
So we're nearly there.

1150
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:27,999
Greg, the van won't run.

1151
01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:31,391
It doesn't have to run, Dad.
It just has to roll.

1152
01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:34,154
If we all push, maybe we could
get it over the hill.

1153
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:36,038
Then just let gravity do the rest

1154
01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:38,077
and we ride on down to Meemaw's house.

1155
01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:41,710
I think that might be the worst idea
I've ever heard in my life.

1156
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:46,913
Okay, boys, once we get rolling,
I want you to hop in. Got it?

1157
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,516
On three, here we go. One, two, three.

1158
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:53,393
Come on, push.

1159
01:18:53,480 --> 01:18:55,836
That's it. Here we go. Come on.

1160
01:19:00,040 --> 01:19:01,360
It's working!

1161
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:09,680
Come on, Greg!

1162
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:14,794
I can't make it!

1163
01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:16,200
Greg, run!

1164
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:18,270
Come on!

1165
01:19:28,720 --> 01:19:29,710
Oh, boy.

1166
01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:07,954
# Splish splash, I was takin' a bath #

1167
01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:10,635
# Long about a Saturday night #

1168
01:20:10,720 --> 01:20:14,555
# Yeah, a rub dub, just relaxin' in the tub #

1169
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:17,030
# Thinkin' it would make us all right #

1170
01:20:17,120 --> 01:20:19,112
# Well, I stepped out the tub #

1171
01:20:19,200 --> 01:20:20,350
Greg?

1172
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:23,112
Happy birthday, Meemaw.

1173
01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:25,669
What a wonderful surprise.

1174
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:27,753
Greg?

1175
01:20:27,840 --> 01:20:29,513
Greg! Are you okay?

1176
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:32,153
Oh, my God.

1177
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:35,074
You said you wanted to get your boat
on the water this summer.

1178
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:40,910
Happy birthday, Meemaw.

1179
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:43,671
- Sure.
- Sorry.

1180
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:49,278
Well, I guess this trip
ended up being one of Mom's better ideas.

1181
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:55,120
And you know what?
It was a pretty great party.

1182
01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:57,510
# Happy birthday to you! #

1183
01:20:58,760 --> 01:21:00,672
After we got the van fixed,

1184
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,753
and the boat out of Meemaw's pool,
we headed home.

1185
01:21:04,440 --> 01:21:07,638
At least, we thought the van was fixed.

1186
01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:18,120
I'm not getting a signal.

1187
01:21:22,960 --> 01:21:24,280
Look, there's a car!

1188
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:26,269
Hello? Hello!

1189
01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:36,800
Hi, there.

1190
01:21:36,880 --> 01:21:38,553
Thank you so much for stopping.

1191
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:39,869
Hola.

1192
01:21:42,560 --> 01:21:44,916
Oh, no, we don't speak Spanish.

1193
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:01,356
Oh, Manny!

1194
01:22:01,520 --> 01:22:03,637
Luis.

1195
01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:05,200
Hi.

1196
01:22:08,560 --> 01:22:10,199
We still don't speak Spanish.

1197
01:22:14,960 --> 01:22:17,156
I'm so proud of you.

1198
01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:20,560
He say caca.

1199
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:22,313
So proud.

1200
01:22:32,160 --> 01:22:33,799
I hope you guys are happy.

1201
01:22:33,880 --> 01:22:35,872
Your little brother is super smart.

1202
01:22:36,840 --> 01:22:38,911
I just hope he knows where he's going.

1203
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,673
I don't believe it.

1204
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:04,275
# You can count on me #

1205
01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:06,955
# Like 1, 2, 3 #

1206
01:23:07,040 --> 01:23:09,919
# I'll be there #

1207
01:23:10,000 --> 01:23:12,310
# And I know when I need it #

1208
01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:15,113
# I can count on you #

1209
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:17,795
# Like 4, 3, 2 #

1210
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:20,759
# And you'll be there #

1211
01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:25,039
# 'Cause that's what friends
are supposed to do, oh, yeah #

1212
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:27,794
# Oooh, oooh, ooh, ooh #

1213
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:32,356
By the time we got home, everyone was good.

1214
01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:35,353
Dad told his boss he needed
more time with his family,

1215
01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:38,353
which made Mom really happy.

1216
01:23:38,440 --> 01:23:41,353
And they loaned Rodrick the money
to fix his Loded Diper van

1217
01:23:41,440 --> 01:23:44,080
in exchange for him cleaning out the minivan.

1218
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:50,034
Trust me. This vacation was far from perfect.

1219
01:23:50,120 --> 01:23:52,351
But the one thing our road trip has taught me

1220
01:23:52,440 --> 01:23:55,956
is that a little face time
with my family really isn't that bad.

1221
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:59,512
And you know, we ended up
with plenty of material for

1222
01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:01,080
our own memory book.

1223
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:04,680
I don't think we're gonna be winning
any Family of the Year awards.

1224
01:24:04,760 --> 01:24:07,639
But our trip was definitely an adventure.

1225
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:10,237
Hey!

1226
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:13,392
In fact, I can't wait to see
where we're going next year.

1227
01:24:13,480 --> 01:24:15,790
Wherever it is, we're flying.

1228
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,832
# Run, run, run, yeah, run and run #

1229
01:24:21,920 --> 01:24:24,594
# Look up, look down
look all around, oh, yeah #

1230
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:30,472
# Go, go, go, yeah, we're on the go #

1231
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:32,358
# Swing left, swing right
because you never know #

1232
01:24:32,440 --> 01:24:33,271
# Oh, yeah #

1233
01:24:36,040 --> 01:24:37,360
# One, two, three, four #

1234
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:38,874
# We're not slowing down #

1235
01:24:38,960 --> 01:24:41,191
# And you can't stop us now #

1236
01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:44,239
# Let's kick back and just enjoy the ride #

1237
01:24:46,080 --> 01:24:47,912
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh, oh #

1238
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,992
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh #

1239
01:24:50,080 --> 01:24:52,197
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh, oh #

1240
01:24:52,280 --> 01:24:54,192
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh #

1241
01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:56,158
# Dance, dance, dance till you see the sun #

1242
01:24:56,240 --> 01:24:58,311
# So bright, so right,
yeah, it's just begun #

1243
01:24:58,400 --> 01:24:59,390
# Oh, yeah #

1244
01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:04,797
# Move, move, move when you hear the song #

1245
01:25:04,880 --> 01:25:06,837
# Go nuts, go wild when the music's on #

1246
01:25:06,920 --> 01:25:07,910
# Oh, yeah #

1247
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,515
- # Let's go #
- # We're not slowing down #

1248
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,557
# And you can't stop us now #

1249
01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:18,519
# Let's kick back and just enjoy the ride #

1250
01:25:20,440 --> 01:25:22,352
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh, oh #

1251
01:25:22,440 --> 01:25:23,954
# Whoa, oh, ooh, oh #

1252
01:25:28,640 --> 01:25:29,835
# Run, run, run, run #

1253
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:32,757
# Go, go, go, go #

1254
01:25:32,840 --> 01:25:34,991
# Dance, dance, dance, dance #

1255
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:36,992
- # Move, move, move, move #
- # Oh, yeah #

1256
01:25:37,080 --> 01:25:39,197
# We're not slowing down #

1257
01:25:39,320 --> 01:25:41,232
# And you can't stop us now #

1258
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:44,233
# Let's kick back and just enjoy the ride #

1259
01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:47,677
# We're not slowing down #

1260
01:25:47,760 --> 01:25:49,831
# And you can't stop us now #

1261
01:25:49,920 --> 01:25:52,833
# Let's kick back and just enjoy the ride #

1262
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,952
Watch and learn, little bro. Watch and learn.

1263
01:26:06,040 --> 01:26:09,192
Hey, ladies. My band's playing
the car wash this weekend.

1264
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:10,634
Are you Diaper Hands?

1265
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:12,800
Yes, he is.

1266
01:26:13,600 --> 01:26:15,512
- Oh, my God!
- Can we get selfies with you?

1267
01:26:17,440 --> 01:26:18,590
Sure.

1268
01:26:22,320 --> 01:26:23,834
# We're not slowing down #

1269
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,877
# And you can't stop us now #

1270
01:26:25,960 --> 01:26:29,158
# Let's kick back and just enjoy the ride #