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[whispers] He's taking a shit.
-Right now. -Not gonna rap for a guy taking a shit.
-Rahmel, sir? -Shut the fuck up!
I understand this is a bit unorthodox, but my guy OH! here
is the hottest rapper in the streets without a record deal.
So, hold on to that seat, 'cause he's about to drop some shit for you.
Really?
[phone rings]
[OH! clears throat]
♪Hello, it's young OH! How you doing? Hi♪
♪I like all real shit in front of me And all bullshit aside♪
♪I been sick with it my whole life And I ain't even die♪ ♪Nigga, I ain't sleep in three weeks And I ain't even tired♪
♪Yo, wrote 100,000 raps And never had to lie♪
♪I watched Passion of the Christ twice And I ain't even cry♪
♪Okay, well, maybe that one time♪
♪But everybody gets to be A little bitch sometimes♪
♪I've been wasting dumb time♪
♪But I take a breath and remember I need a chill pill♪
♪My trying to make it OCD is kicking in for real real♪
♪It's like Armageddon in my head The fear of missing out♪
♪The way that I be getting, nigga I be stressing sitting down♪
♪Yo, so I'll call Father Time, like "Uh, when is it my time?♪
♪You think you can shed A tiny little ounce of limelight?♪
♪I mean, what, do I fucking suck? Do I not rhyme tight?♪
♪Do I need to sell myself with selfies On my timeline?♪
♪While I'm worried about this♪
♪I done missed about 20,000 calls From my moms♪
♪So, I sent her a text Like, "Don't trip, Mama♪
♪I'm gonna hit you back once I'm on I'm wrong"♪
[whispers] Happy?
[toilet flushes]
-That the flush of a record deal, Rahmel? -Ha!
Rahmel is in LA.
That's his intern, Bernard.
Yo, Bernie, pick that up!
You could have said something, Bernie.
Why would I do that? That was actually hot.
I fucks with OH!
After you wash, my G.
Bernard, please tell Rahmel to come see OH! this Thursday
at Charlamagne's Up Next MC Showcase. Sure to be lit as tits.
"Lit as tits."
A basement full of broke-ass SoundCloud rappers and zero bitches
is gonna be "lit as tits"?
I mean, no offense, man, you're nice, but that sounds horrible.
Okay. No, that's one way of looking at it.
But another is, what could be more lit than showing your boss
you discovered the next 21 Savage
and then possibly getting a producer credit on the album?
You gangsta? Mm-hmm.
You in that murder gang shit? Slaughter gang shit?
-Not really. -You hard?
You shoot somebody's mom before?
Dude, just shoot my mom. She's a total fucking bitch.
I'll tell you this. Why don't y'all change that producer credit
to an executive producer credit
and I'll make sure Rahmel is front row center on Thursday.
Done.
-All right. -All right.
-I'll see y'all. -See ya.
Wait, who let y'all in here?
Shit...
-The higher-ups. -Security. The higher-ups.
Can I ask you a question?
Bro, I do not know if my sister is dating anybody, okay?
She's post-feminist,
which I'm now realizing just means she fucks a lot.
Okay. Not really about your sister.
For once.
Do you think I actually have the talent to do this shit for real?
Seriously?
Okay, I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
What's missing then?
'Cause we've been going hard for like three years,
shooting music videos, doing every MC battle...
...open mic night, and fucking podcast we can possibly find.
We've dropped not one, not two, not three, but four mixtapes.
Four. Nobody does that, not even Future.
-Fifth one's gonna be the one, my guy. -I have 7,402 Instagram followers.
I don't even have a fucking K.
You know how embarrassing that is as a rapper to not have a K?
My mom's meatloaf fan page has a K, and that shit's on private.
Owen, the genius thing we did was never give up.
C'mon, who said that?
You really gotta chill with the motivational memes, bro.
Jay-Z said that.
So, if you're not gonna listen to me,
listen to the guy that gets to put his D in B on the reg,
all because he never gave up.
Even when every record label passed on Hova God.
My pops mentioned enlisting again last night.
[train horn wails]
I still go Kendrick, Cole, Rocky,
Chance, Pusha T.
How are you not on your own top five list of lyricists?
Because I have ears.
My top five goes OH! number one always, okay?
Then you have Quavo, Lil Uzi, Lil Wayne, Lil Pump.
Okay, that's a lot of littles.
Kids don't know shit about real hip hop, yo.
What about the god Rakim?
-Is he on Spotify? -Sir, how do you spell Rakim?
You kidding me? He's an icon.
♪I came in the door I said it before♪
♪I never let the mic Magnetize me no more♪
♪But he's biting me, fighting me Inviting me to rhyme♪
♪I can't hold it back, I'm lookin' for the line♪
♪Taking off my coat, clearing my throat The rhymes will be kicking in♪
♪Until I hit my last note♪
All right, so y'all not total fuck boys after all.
No, sir. No, we're not.
Well, then, why is your man dressed like it?
My outfit is fire.
Your outfit is wow corny, son. Who you trying to be?
Myself.
With a hint of the Migos.
Is it too much, Migos?
-Way too much Migos. -Listen.
The culture is dying and y'all are the future.
Do me a favor.
Don't fuck up the future.
Oh, we're gonna fuck up the future.
No, but like in a good way.
Like how Future fucks up some commas, you know?
Right?
Damn.
Dude, have I told you how fucking little
I'm gonna miss these bitches from high school
when you and I are on that main festival stage just crushing the game?
-Six-thousand times. -Yeah.
We gotta think of some other shit.
-This is weird. -You don't like it?
We'll scrap it. I'm gonna home, gonna workshop some shit,
and then I'm gonna send you some options, okay? -Think of something. -I will. I promise.
-All right, fam. -All right, man.
I love you!
Don't say that out loud.
Don't worry, Owen. You're fine.
Jeffrey, your friend walked in on me again.
His name is Carlos, he's Dominican, and I like it 'cause--
Hey, Alicia.
Hi, Owen.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I got a show next week in the city
and I wanted to see, like, if you weren't doing anything,
if you wanted to like, come by, if you're not busy.
Even though you're probably like hella busy.
Owen is a rapper and my little brother is his manager.
Oh, cute.
Yeah. So, it's this Thursday,
and, Dad, it's gonna be the biggest show of our career.
Like, it's gonna be lit up in there.
A lot of cool people are gonna be there. Remember that guy, Ski Mask the Slump God?
Yeah? I played you his music and you were like,
"Is this really the music you kids listen to nowadays?"
I mean, it would be super tight if you came to support us.
You're not gonna have time to play rap manager at Harvard next year
with your pre-law course load, plus your internship
at Slowski Scheinbaum Saperstein Selquwitz and Mascarpone.
Fuck my life.
What does this idiot want?
Hey, big guy!
Yeah, I was just thinking about you.
How was Napa?
You ready? Wanna run some lines or something?
No, I'm good. I got my lines already.
You look nervous. Now, remember how we talked about confidence, right?
-Confidence. -Thanks.
Yo, this place is actually full.
You ready to kill tonight, my guy?
-Yeah. -Good.
Your sister out there?
Would you stop thinking about my sister for one second?
-She's never gonna fuck you. I'm sorry. -Hey!
I'm sorry, Sarge,
but tonight is not the time to be focusing on trivial things
like my sister's punanjo.
Tonight's about fate, it's about destiny.
And, most importantly, it's about murdering that mic out there.
So, she's not here.
-No, she's not here. -But I'm here.
I'm gonna be on that front row waiting for you.
Thanks, Dad. Not really the same thing, but I appreciate it.
I know. I love you, boy.
-All right. -You have such a supportive father.
Have fun out there. And smile. Smile.
Hey, there you go.
Wow, what a guy.
-Yeah, he's cool. -Love him. He's great.
Yo, did you eat? Because you look a little green.
-I can see it in your face. -No, I'm good.
You ever had ikura?
They're like these little salty balls of goodness
-just exploding with flavor. -Oh, my God.
-You gotta try it. -Back that shit up.
You don't even have to eat it. Just stick your tongue out and lick a little ball.
Yo, pause. What is wrong with you?
-It's fine-- -Back the fuck up--
Am I interrupting something right now?
Shit.
-Yo! -Nah!
-What's up, Bernard? -Cool, man.
Cool. Did you bring Rahmel with you?
Nah, I got someone even better. Y'all know Wiz?
Yeah.
-That's Wiz Khalifa. -Yes.
Wow, huge fan. Tight.
-You smoke? -Like...
Like, not all the time. A little bit.
If your definition of a little something is all day every day.
-We love weed. -Shut the fuck up. What are you doing?
One pic of you chiefing a joint with Wiz Khalifa
gets us 10,000 fans on Instagram, easy.
-Pass that L, Wiz. -Shut the fuck up.
-There you go. -Yeah.
Get in there.
Owen, put up a peace sign. Put up a peace sign now.
Now, blow a cloud. There you go. Nice.
-Awesome. Give me some. -Good luck out there, man.
Bernard told me you pretty nice, so do your thing.
-Thanks, man. -All right.
I know this will come as no surprise to anyone,
but Wiz Khalifa has some incredibly strong weed.
Thank you, everybody. Have a good night!
Hey, keep that energy going for Ski, y'all!
I don't know what he just said, but I felt it.
I don't know who wants to follow that, but I think I found somebody.
Make some noise for OH!, y'all!
OH!, where you at? Where you at, OH!? Where you at?
Okay.
-How you feeling tonight, man? You good? -Good. Yeah.
Don't make me look bad for putting you up on the stage, okay?
-Okay. -Okay? 'Cause you look whack.
You look like Klay Thompson with Down Syndrome.
-All right. Okay, for sure. -Don't embarrass me.
Thanks. ♪Hey♪
♪Yo, hey♪
♪Young OH! is the one they know so well♪
♪Real recognize real Yo name ring no bells♪ ♪I'm finna be on these rap niggas Coattails, oh well♪
♪Niggas going copper, They makin' no sales♪
♪I ain't having that Music's going platinum or platinum♪
♪These niggas be thinking like Mike Jones♪
♪Somebody like me Be thinking like Mike Jackson♪
♪Yo, my homie Jeff Has got me dressin' like a model♪
♪Going full throttle, eating Chip O'Lees Fuck that, Chipot-le♪
♪Having itches Sending naked yitty pictures for a follow♪
♪Outrageous, hit the stage They lose their heads like Sleepy Hollow♪
♪Beast Coast where it's at Y-O to be exact♪
♪I know only this much of me is black♪
♪But I know the streets so well I don't need a map♪
♪I'm really real, I don't need to act Nigga, I got a job, I don't need to trap♪
♪Young OH!'s dope, that's something I know♪
♪So the niggas at my show Don't need to clap♪
Yo, Wiz, this shit is strong, nigga. I'm fuckin' smacked.
Yo, what's--
Yo, I'm fucking sorry. I didn't--
-He's having a seizure! -Not my Yeezys, bro!
WorldStar!
...best "can't un-see it" clip of all time.
He threw up on Wiz Khalifa at Charlamagne's Up Next music showcase.
I guess after smoking with Wiz, he couldn't handle it.
He tried to be cool, tried to be down...
Get him outta here. This kid's washed.
You can't rhyme and you can't smoke weed.
Motherfucker, don't smoke if you can't hold it, Seezjah Boy.
Everybody is calling him "Seezjah Boy."
You caught a fuckin' seizure, you corny motherfucker!
That name is completely offensive, but I have to admit,
the seizure dance they got from it is kinda funny.
Didn't know he was having a seizure.
I thought he was on the floor Harlem Shaking.
-Is it over for this guy? -Stick a fork in him. He done.
You ever heard of the saying that no press is bad press?
Also, when did you become Creed?
I'm joining the Marines.
You're a funny guy. You know that? You're funny.
I'm dead-ass, bro.
Dude, no. Don't say dead-ass when you're not actually dead-ass.
That's not cool, man. It's toying with my emotions.
I'm dead-ass, bro.
Owen, why would you ever do that?
Because my dad served in the Marines
and his life turned out pretty sick compared to my current life.
He owns a fake Chipotle called Chip O'Lees.
My guy, he is one cease and desist letter away from going bust.
Woah! Don't be a dick, okay?
That was his dream and he worked his ass off to make it happen.
Okay.
Sorry, but what about your dream?
Huh?
Come on, making music, touring the world, connecting with your fans,
and a little thing called sex with groupies.
I am an Internet laughingstock.
-Groupies... out the window. -[whoosh]
-World tours... out the fucking window. -[whoosh]
I mean, come on, man, we don't even need a record label, okay?
-We can do this shit independent. -We've been doing it independent.
That's what we're doing right now.
That's what this is. Independent as hell.
My dad called in a favor.
I'm driving to Parris Island on Friday.
Remember what I told you in ninth grade
after you lost to Young-Suk Kim in the talent show?
I want to thank Ms. Farrow, Mr. Skoggins, my--
I'm really happy for you. I'm gonna let you finish.
But Owen had one of the best talent show performances of all time.
Of all time.
I made you a promise that if you let me be your manager, I would go HAM for you.
And I'm going to keep that promise.
I may look like a Jewy fuck boi on the surface,
but underneath these $900 Balmain jeans,
which I only bought because A$AP Rocky wears them,
which are uncomfortable as fuck, by the way,
underneath all that shit, I'm a fucking animal.
[barks]
Yo, bro.
Yeah, bro.
I get you a record deal by this Friday,
and you don't join the Marines.
-Okay, bro. -Yeah?
-Whatever. -Wait, really?
-Yeah, knock yourself out. -Yes! Thank you.
Yes, agreement. Yes, dude.
-Okay. -Yes!
There's gonna motivational memes about this shit.
Coming through! Watch out!
I told her don't worry about where I live right now.
I'm in between places, all right?
You know, my mom's place--
Oh, shit, I gotta get back to work.
I see you avoiding me, Bernard.
You're talking on a calculator.
Yo, the Gucci vocals come in?
-Hi. -Hello.
-Can I help you? -Yes!
I'm OH!'s manager. Here to see Rahmel.
Who?
Seezjah Boy's manager.
Oh, that's too bad. I really loved his mixtape.
He would have been great at Atlantic.
He's not dead. He can still be great at Atlantic.
Are you kidding me? He's deader than dubstep.
That's funny.
Let me tell you something else. Opinions are like assholes.
Everyone's got one, but no one thinks theirs stinks.
Who doesn't think their asshole stinks? That's dumb.
Look, can I see Rahmel, please?
He's working from home today. But good luck to you.
Hey, Bernard, how are those Gucci vocals looking?
You sent them? Cool. I'm checking right now.
Tight. Those are fakes Yeezys.
No such thing as bad press, right?
Have you never had a stomach bug? 'Cause they can be devastating.
Why can't this be his Eminem "mom's spaghetti" moment?
Sorry.
Can't touch him.
He's tainted goods. Sorry, kid.
Dude, you want me to sign Seezjah Boy?
Is it "seezjah" or "seizure"?
And by the way, you know that's politically incorrect.
And really fucking offensive.
Chicken. Rice.
More rice.
Six, six, six.
Fuckin' know you, dude.
I knew it.
You're Seezjah Boy.
-Nah. -No?
Nah, not at all. No.
Fuck am I doing?
Oh, you're fucking Seezjah Boy. We're going live with this shit.
Yo, what the fuck is up, Internet?
It's your boy, YungDouglas.
Who am I with? Fucking Seezjah Boy, live and direct.
Round two. He's about to puke all over my fucking neck.
Do it. C'mon, let's go.
Everybody, a little encouragement.
Barf!
Dude, I'm trying to get laid. Fuckin' puke on me.
Fucking throw chicken at me. Throw a burrito at me.
Mohammad, it's so hot out.
I need a cold iced coffee.
-You're not Mohammad. -No, I am not.
But, between us, I make a much better iced coffee.
-What do you want? -A sit-down with Rahmel.
-Not gonna happen. -You said for yourself
you loved OH!'s mixtape, and I am telling you he's a star.
Now trust your gut.
Forget about the Internet for one goddamn second
and focus on the music.
I like your passion, but I need my coffee.
I like your face, eyes, hair, and smile.
All right, maybe I can get you in with Rahmel next week.
That's amazing. One thing.
OH!'s joining the Marines tomorrow,
so I'm begging you to figure out something for today.
-You're being very pushy. -Some people find it charming.
I'm not one of them.
Come by the Gramercy tonight.
I could probably get you in at the secret French show.
"French" as in "Montana"?
The one and only.
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
Look, I promise... we are not gonna let you down.
Hey.
You're not gonna need a whole lot of wardrobe options, son.
It's a lot of camo.
I know.
♪Hey, look here, homie♪
♪They call me Sarge 'Cause I'm always in charge♪
♪Living large♪
[Sarge laughs]
Come on, now. Don't fight the feeling.
You got that steel from me. Don't fight it.
Hey, I don't know if I ever told you this,
but when I was your age, I had dreams of being an actor.
-You did? -Yeah.
Yeah, I took classes. I did some plays and I had a fly headshot.
I was gonna be the next Rico Tubbs.
You know, the brother on Miami Vice.
Have you never seen an episode of Miami Vice?
You mean like with Jamie Foxx?
-You were trying to be like Jamie Foxx? -Okay, I'm old.
The point is...
I get it, son.
Being a Marine might not be as cool as being Kendrick Lamar, but...
sometimes we have to accept our fate.
Everybody doesn't get everything.
But what if I'm accepting my fate, like, way too soon?
Boy, you threw up on Wiz Khalifa and it went viral.
Come on, son, you gotta face the facts.
Nobody really makes it as a rapper.
At some point, we all have to grow up.
Alicia.
Hey. Somebody still like Arnie Palmies?
Look, Alicia, please.
I am on my knees. Look at me.
Bet you say that to all the boys.
It's French Montana. You loved him when he dated Khloe.
-True. -All you gotta do is be nice to Owen
and not mention that you have a new boyfriend.
-Very important. Don't do that. -Not possible. Said new boyfriend is having a party tonight
and I have to be there.
Alicia, Owen needs your help.
I mean, he's joining the Marines tomorrow. Come on.
Have some sympathy for our troops.
Look, I feel really bad for Owen, I do.
But I just... I can't tonight.
You know what? I'll pay you.
No!
-How much? -20,000 United States dollars.
-What? -Mm-hmm.
-You don't have that kind of money. -Oh, I swear to God I do.
Yes, I do.
But you have to swear on Dad's life that you're in. Okay?
All I have to do is go to a secret French Montana show
and you will pay me 20,000 United States dollars?
-Not that "doll hair" shit you pulled? -Dollars. Okay?
Think about it.
Fine.
-I'm in. -Okay. Done deal. Good.
20,000 United States dollars in low-risk government-backed agricultural bonds.
They'll mature in 2050. That's my graduation gift from Uncle Alan,
-it's yours now. So mazel tov! -What? Fuck that, Jeffrey.
Hey, what's good, Lucy?
Keeping that burrito nice and tight like I like it?
Don't make me smack you upside your head with a chimichanga,
-Cause you know I'll do it. -Caliente.
There he is, the guy who could be the next greatest rapper alive
and threw it all away to fight for our freedom like the all-American hero he is.
Wanna turn that shit down? You can't play music in here.
Okay. All good.
'Cause we're going to see the man live, tonight.
-Wait, what? -It's my send-off to you,
front row seats at a top secret French Montana show.
Seriously?
Would I joke about Frenchie?
[honks]
Come on, outside.
Oh, shit, your dad let you take the Rolls?
Well, not exactly, but it's your last night of freedom.
We gotta go big, baby.
Man, I really want to,
but my moms is making like a send-off dinner or something. Meatloaf.
-You're invited if you want. -I'm talking about front row seats
to a French Montana show. You're talking about meatloaf?
Can I get a key to the restroom, por favor?
Hmm?
I gotta pee. Need the key.
Oh, yes.
Duh, my bad.
You asked for the key, so...
You're coming with us to see French Montana, I hope.
Is your sister coming?
Dude, is your pop's restaurant a total Chipotle knock-off?
Is she even single though?
Single and ready to mingle.
So, Alicia... how was your summer?
Fine.
You go on any, like, sick trips?
Not really.
Sick.
You watch any movies this summer?
I'm not really into Hollywood movies.
I'm more into like French New Wave, so.
Word. Yo, I fucks with French New Wave.
Oh, you fuck with it?
I mean, obviously, Breathless is my shit.
Okay. All right.
Good on you.
I'm sorry about the Seezjah Boy thing.
-It's cool. -Yeah?
-You know, it's gonna blow over. -Now the Marines?
Yep. You know, you gotta keep it moving.
Everybody doesn't get everything, right?
I mean, that's just life, right?
I hope not.
Yeah.
Hey, driver? Could you please turn up the air?
It's really hot in here. Thank you so much.
One of you needs to come up here, okay? This is some bullshit.
-Sir! -Bullshit!
[horns honking]
Where the hell is this guy?
-Should I honk again? -No.
Hello!
Hello, anybody here?
Yo! Hey, there.
Are you the gentleman parking my car?
Because I'm sort of particular about the whole thing.
Just leave the keys over on the desk. I'll get to it in a few, man.
-Wait, dude, are you watching porn? -No, it's an educational video.
That doctor is titty-fucking two nurses at the same time.
-Yeah, I'm pre-med, man. -Wow.
Okay, I can't even believe that I have to say this right now,
but please don't jerk off in my car, all right?
-Which one was yours? -The white one.
Big Phantom, right there.
I got you.
-Semen-free zone. -You're good, man. I'll take care of you.
-Help you? -Gonna drop me a beat?
-No. -Yeah.
♪Okay, last name Levine First name Jeffrey♪
♪Like a sprained ankle, boy You'd better check me♪
Sorry. Can you check under Jeffrey Levine for me, please?
-Yeah, I don't have you. -What?
No, that can't be. You checked Rahmel's list?
-I did. -Can you check under OH!, please?
It's spelled capital O, capital H, exclamation point.
-There's no "OH!" -What about...
Seezjah Boy?
Oh, my God, that is you.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm good. Thanks.
I don't have you here either, so I can't let you guys in.
Oh, fuck a duck!
-Sorry. -Wait!
If I could just really quickly just get like a... for my son?
You know what I mean? Just my...
But you gotta do the thing!
Just do the thing, you know.
Do the thing.
That's good! That's really good.
Okay. Thanks.
Bye, baby.
Jessica, this is my fifth voicemail. Do I need to send you a fucking raven?
You're making me look awful in front of my client.
Jeff's head is about to pop off.
His heart is in the right place, but he needs to stop spazzing out.
He's turning into our Dad.
That's like his biggest fear in life.
Mine is drowning, but turning into my mother is a close second.
-[car horn honks] -I kinda like your mom.
Is everything cool or...?
I am so sorry. I have to go.
But good luck in the Marines. You're gonna be great.
Where you going?
I gotta meet up with some friends.
Hey, stop by later. 245 Bay Avenue.
If you want. It's in Bushwick.
Fuck!
Okay, so, my ticket connect has gone dark,
but I was able to track down Bernard the intern.
Alicia fucking left.
Man, fuck that noise. Look...
we got more important things to worry about tonight, okay?
I didn't wanna tell you, because I didn't wanna freak you out
and I knew you wouldn't come otherwise, but...
Rahmel is backstage and he is ready to sign you.
-Shut up. -Dude, read the email for yourself.
This is just directions to fucking Will Call.
It literally says, "Might be able to get OH! a minute or two with Rahmel,
but no promises." Smiley face?
That smiley face right there is key.