0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:12,320 Yeah, baby. 2 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,670 Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous. 3 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:40,430 l may just be a small-town FBI agent-slash-single mother... 4 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,510 ...but I'm still tough and sexy. 5 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:48,690 Well, Miss Normous, shall we shag now... 6 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,100 ...or shag later? 7 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,360 Oh, Austin, behave. 8 00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,160 Hey, Powers. 9 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,160 You better watch your frigging self... 10 00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:06,750 ...because this is one doctor who does make house calls. 11 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,960 Right, Mini Me? 12 00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:14,380 Hey, assholes. 13 00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:20,890 I'm right over here. I'm Mini Me. Come and get me. 14 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,060 And cut. 15 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,060 That's a cut, everybody. 16 00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,270 Moving on. Check the gate, please. 17 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,070 So, Austin, what'd you think of the opening credits? 18 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,410 Well, l can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg... 19 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,910 ...the grooviest filmmaker in the history of cinema... 20 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,080 ...is making a movie about my life. 21 00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,620 Very shagadelic, baby. Yeah. 22 00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,920 Having said that, l do have some thoughts. 23 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,590 Really? 24 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,510 Uh, my friend here thinks it's fine the way it is. 25 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,680 Well, no offense, Sir Stevie... 26 00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:07,680 ...but you've got to have mojo, baby. Yeah. 27 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,430 Hit it. 28 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,510 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quincy Jones. 29 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,680 Yeah. 30 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,390 This is where the movie gets its mojo, baby. 31 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,770 Groovy, yes. 32 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,330 Quiet, everybody. Music video, take two. 33 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,160 It's Britney Spears. 34 00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:49,890 Oops, l did it again, baby. Yeah. 35 00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,270 l love you! 36 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,790 Yeah. 37 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,770 Welcome back, Herr Doctor. How was space? 38 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:40,770 Space was cool. Wasn't it, Mini Me? 39 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,560 -Mm-hm. -Yeah. 40 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,730 Dr. Evil, while you were in space... 41 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,490 ...I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money... 42 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:52,240 ...and still maintain the ethics and the business practices... 43 00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:54,240 ...of an evil organization. 44 00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:58,830 l have turned us into a talent agency: The Hollywood Talent Agency. 45 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000 -Really? -By charging A-list clients 9 percent... 46 00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:05,590 ...rather than the traditional 10 percent, we've been able to sign such stars... 47 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,300 -...as George Clooney... -Ooh. 48 00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,170 ...Julia Roberts... -Hey. 49 00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:10,930 ...and Leo DiCaprio. 50 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,430 Leo. 51 00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:17,350 And the best part of the whole scheme is we all get our own assistants. 52 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,350 Hi, I'm Number Three. 53 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,310 Whoa! 54 00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:24,610 I’m really excited to be part of the team here at HTA. 55 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,440 Very impressive, Number Two... 56 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,530 ...but I finally have the perfect plan. 57 00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:34,320 In the '70s, there lived a Dutch metallurgical hedonist... 58 00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:35,990 ...by the name of Johann van der Smut. 59 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:38,540 He loved gold so much... 60 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:42,000 ...he even lost his genitalia in an unfortunate smelting accident. 61 00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,080 Hence the name... 62 00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,630 ...Goldmember. 63 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,960 He invented a cold-fusion power unit... 64 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:52,050 ...for a "tractor beam"-- 65 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,800 "Tractor beam"... 66 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:57,350 ...powerful enough to pull a meteor to Earth. 67 00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,970 The meteor was called... 68 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,890 ..."Midas 22." 69 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,060 It’s made of solid gold. 70 00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,690 Is he sleeping? 71 00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,570 Well, that's okay. 72 00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,280 l guess Mini Me won't get any... 73 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,110 ...chocolate! 74 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,240 You want down, Mini Me? Use your words like a big boy clone. 75 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,660 He's okay. 76 00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:24,920 Here's the chocolate. 77 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,250 It’s from Bruges. That's in Belgium. 78 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,630 That's where Daddy's from. Yeah. 79 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,760 Check out Mini Me. 80 00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:40,600 Yeah. He's gone mental on account of the chocolate. 81 00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:43,430 It’s like fricking catnip for clones. 82 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,810 -Your chair, Dr. Evil. -Thank you. 83 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:48,610 Whoa! 84 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,950 Thanks. Skedaddle. Right. 85 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,700 You know, when you have kids... 86 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,660 ...I think you're gonna find that all kids are different, eh? 87 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,470 For example, Mini Me loves chocolate. 88 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:15,970 Scotty don't. 89 00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,300 -What, l like chocolate fine, l just-- -Scotty don't. 90 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,640 Well, this is very familiar. Hang on, let me do what l do. "Uh, would you stop?" 91 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,480 How about I what? 92 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,390 What are you...? 93 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,310 l don't even-- Honestly, isn't this--? 94 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,020 How about you don't? Ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't. 95 00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:36,740 Ahem. Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time that you finished unveiling your plan. 96 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,320 Yes, thank you, Number Two. Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is-- 97 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:43,240 -Scotty don't. -Come on. You're such a lame-ass. 98 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,670 Oh. -Oh. 99 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:52,380 -Oh. -Oh. 100 00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,630 Yeah. -Oh, this is... 101 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,090 Yeah, yeah. -Oh, so we're... 102 00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,430 You know, this is causing me serious psychological harm. 103 00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,350 l don't know. Who am l? 104 00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:03,640 Fine. You know what? l would love some chocolate. 105 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:04,970 Here you go. 106 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,810 Thank you. Perfect. 107 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,610 Heel, Mini Me. 108 00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,360 Heel. 109 00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:19,280 Come on. Got me a marlin. Yeah. 110 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,370 -You okay, Mini Me? -Mm-hm. 111 00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,120 Yeah? Did l pull too hard? l don't want to hurt you. 112 00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,120 -Dr. Evil. -Yeah? 113 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,040 What does Goldmember's plan have to do with us? 114 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:34,800 Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. 115 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,050 Preparations A through G were a failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen... 116 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:43,760 ...we finally have a working tractor beam which we shall call: 117 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,560 "Preparation H." 118 00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:49,520 What? 119 00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,730 Why don't you just call it "Operation Ass Cream," you ass. 120 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,520 I’m sorry, did you want some ice cream? 121 00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:58,900 Yes. I'd love some chocolate ass cream. 122 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,360 Perhaps later. 123 00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:05,030 -Dr. Evil, l love your plan. -Yeah, eh? 124 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,040 Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan. 125 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,500 Yes, Frau, on the whole, l think Preparation H feels good. 126 00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:16,630 -What is it now? -No, nothing. You know what, I agree. 127 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,010 Preparation H does feel good on the hole. 128 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:24,800 Well, I’m glad we're sprechen Sie the same lingitty, ja. 129 00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:26,220 Ladies and gentlemen... 130 00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:30,770 ...using my time machine, l shall travel back to 1975... 131 00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,850 ...pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. 132 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,110 And the best part of this plan is... 133 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,440 ...no one can stop me. 134 00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,450 Not even... 135 00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:43,990 ...Austin Powers. 136 00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:57,130 Not so fast. 137 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,210 You're surrounded, Dr. Evil. 138 00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:02,550 Shit. 139 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:08,810 Dr. Evil, the World Court sentences you to 400 years. 140 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,470 Do you have anything to say? 141 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,190 No, but l think Mini Me does. 142 00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,610 Order! l will have order! 143 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,570 Looks like two eggs in a hanky. 144 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,530 The criminal genius known as Dr. Evil and his clone... 145 00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,040 ...were sentenced today at the World Organization. 146 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,330 For his efforts, Austin Powers... 147 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,540 ...son of England's most famous spy, Nigel Powers... 148 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:39,170 ...will be knighted by the queen at Buckingham Palace. 149 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,340 Arise, Sir Austin Powers. 150 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,970 Thank you, Your Majesty. 151 00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:51,350 -Your father must be very proud of you. -Oh, yeah. 152 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,850 Come on, Dad, stand up and take a bow. 153 00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,480 Daddy? 154 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,740 Dad? 155 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,510 Daddy 156 00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:28,220 Daddy wasn't there 157 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,220 Daddy 158 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,440 Daddy wasn't there 159 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,900 To take me to the fair 160 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:44,860 It seems he doesn't care 161 00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,740 Daddy wasn't there 162 00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,200 When I was first baptized When I was criticized 163 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,540 When I was ostracized When I was Jazzercised 164 00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:58,040 Steak and kidney pies One-hour Martinize 165 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,880 When I was circumcised 166 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,250 Daddy wasn't there 167 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,380 To take me to the fair 168 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,880 To change my underwear 169 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,220 Daddy wasn't there 170 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,180 "Daddy Wasn't There." Peace. 171 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,600 l am a sexy beast. 172 00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,770 Yes. 173 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,230 Bangs. Yes, how’s it going? 174 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,110 The robot. Haven't seen that in a while. 175 00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:29,400 It’s Austin Powers! You so funny. -Well, you know. 176 00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:32,990 Also, very sexiful. Can l have autograph? 177 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,580 Of course. Your name is...? 178 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,290 Fook Mi. 179 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,380 Oh, behave, baby. Yes. 180 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,960 -Now, your name is...? -Fook Mi. 181 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:45,800 You kiss your mother with that mouth? 182 00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:50,220 Fook Mi. Like this. 183 00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,180 Oh, l see! 184 00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,640 Your name is Fook Mi. 185 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,970 -You want drink? -Yes, of course. 186 00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,850 You know, l have a private bar in the back that you're more than welcome to use-- 187 00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,730 Here you go. 188 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,110 Fook Mi, that was fast. 189 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,320 Fook Yu. 190 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,650 You're going the right way for a smacked bottom... 191 00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,110 ...and l don't care who knows it. 192 00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:12,860 Austin. 193 00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:18,120 This is my twin sister. Her name Fook Yu. 194 00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:19,790 Fook Yu. 195 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,460 Fook Mi. 196 00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:22,670 See? 197 00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,500 Twins. Twins. 198 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,880 Twins. Yes. 199 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,680 We're going to see the twins. Yes. 200 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,980 l also think Austin Powers very sexiful. 201 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,520 We think you are very gravy, baby. 202 00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:44,560 Do we make you sleepy? 203 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,520 Well, you make me many things, but sleepy's not one of them. 204 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,900 We give you top-secret massage. 205 00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:55,410 Yes, top-secret massage, baby. 206 00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,750 Sorry about that. 207 00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:02,500 l swear to God that never happens, heh-heh-heh. 208 00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,540 Yes, hold on a tic. 209 00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,340 Okay.... 210 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:13,550 Okay. Now, where were we, babies? Yes. 211 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,100 Ah, Austin. I’m sorry to interrupt. 212 00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,390 Twins, Basil. Twins. 213 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,020 Austin, it's your father. 214 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,230 -Bye-bye. -What? 215 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,070 -Bye. -He's been kidnapped. 216 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,400 Very heavy, man. 217 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:36,700 Oh. So that's why my father wasn't at the knighting ceremony. 218 00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,280 Well, no, actually. 219 00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:41,240 He was kidnapped after you were knighted. 220 00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:42,620 Ah. 221 00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,750 He was last seen on his yacht. 222 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,420 Ah, yes, the HMS Shag-at-Sea. 223 00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,670 Exactly. Just take a look. 224 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,000 Gentlemen, fall in. 225 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,010 Austin, these men were assigned to guard your father. 226 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:57,550 Okay, chaps. Chins up, trousers down. 227 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,510 l think we may have found a clue. 228 00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:06,060 Cor blimey. All your privates have had their privates painted gold. 229 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,690 How bizarre. 230 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,860 Imagine, gilded tallywhackers... 231 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,150 ...golden wedding tackle, 14-karat trouser snakes-- 232 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,110 -That's enough. -Okay. 233 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,910 Basil, there's only one person in the world... 234 00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:22,160 ...who truly understands the psychology of a madman. 235 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:25,120 Dr. Evil. 236 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,900 I've been expecting you, Mr. Powers. 237 00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,820 My father is missing. 238 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:54,650 Yes, I heard. How ironic. 239 00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:58,740 You finally caught me, yet now you need me more than ever. 240 00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:02,580 But then again, you've always needed me, haven't you, Mr. Powers? 241 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:06,410 Remember when I told you we're not so different, you and I? 242 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,920 We're not so different, you and l. 243 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,750 See? l did say that. Mm-hm. 244 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,760 Very clever. Now, who has my father? 245 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,170 Uh-oh! 246 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,800 Someone has some daddy issues. 247 00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,930 Nothing could be my father from the truth. 248 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,350 Ooh! You said, "my father." 249 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,680 -No, l dadn't. -Hey-oh! 250 00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,100 Didn't. Did not. 251 00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,350 She-ba. 252 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,940 -For me, this is a dad issue. -Ha-- 253 00:19:32,110 --> 00:19:33,190 Dead issue. Dead dad. 254 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,110 Deadbeat dad. Daddy didn't love me. 255 00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:41,410 It seems the knighting ceremony wasn't the only time... 256 00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:44,700 ...your daddy let you down. 257 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,080 Remember that day at the academy? 258 00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,920 Think. 259 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,460 It was graduation. 260 00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:04,760 Yeah, baby, yeah. Do l make you horny, baby? 261 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,560 Oh, yes, that's the spot. Right there. 262 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,100 You're a naughty one. Yes, you are. 263 00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,350 Hello, vicar. Crake! 264 00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,520 Have you ever heard of knocking, man? 265 00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,480 Right. 266 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,240 We were just getting started. 267 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,110 Bye, love. 268 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,160 Don't forget, Master Powers, later you have a brief oral exam. 269 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:27,450 Well, l hope it's mostly oral and not too... 270 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,790 ...brief, baby. 271 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,420 You know, "brief" and "oral exam".... 272 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,670 Marks are in, lads. 273 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,340 It looks Like Master Evil is the top contender... 274 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,100 ...for this year's International Man of Mystery. 275 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,680 He's number one in the class. 276 00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,770 Whoop-de-do, Basil. 277 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:52,850 Hey, everybody, I'm number one. 278 00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,190 Who cares? 279 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,690 Hello, I’m Number Two. 280 00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:58,610 Nice to meet you, Number Two... 281 00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:03,110 ...but now I’m going to be named this year's International Man of Mystery. 282 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,610 Yeah, right. 283 00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,000 Shut your gob. 284 00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,370 Ow! 285 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,300 Who throws a cupcake? Honestly. 286 00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:24,970 And now it's time to award our greatest honor. 287 00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:29,060 This year's International Man of Mystery is... 288 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,770 ...Austin Powers. 289 00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:34,560 Well done, Austin. 290 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,860 Jolly good. -Top notch. 291 00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:44,740 We're proud of you. -Very well done, indeed. 292 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,990 It’s always been my dream to win this award, just like my dad. 293 00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,160 And I’m glad he could be here. 294 00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:55,620 Stand up, Dad. Take a bow. 295 00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:03,340 Dad? 296 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:07,510 Daddy? 297 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,230 Boo-frickity-hoo. 298 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,030 l had the best grades in the class and I didn't get diddlysquat. 299 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,610 -Here we go. -Tell me, Mr. Powers... 300 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:27,530 ...what did you find on those sailors? 301 00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:32,200 A golden surprise, perhaps? 302 00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:35,370 How did--? Yes. 303 00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:39,540 All the sailors had their meat and two veg painted gold. 304 00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:43,130 Yes, it's the distinctive calling card of a criminal mastermind. 305 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,420 The aptly named... 306 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,970 ...Goldmember. 307 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,140 How can I find this Goldmember? 308 00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:56,730 Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers. 309 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,400 Yes, squid pro row. 310 00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:05,900 I'll give you Goldmember, you give me a transfer to a regular prison... 311 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:09,660 ...so that l could be with my beloved Mini Me. 312 00:23:09,870 --> 00:23:13,120 Okay, I'll get you a transfer to a regular prison. 313 00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:14,660 Now, where's Goldmember? 314 00:23:14,830 --> 00:23:17,080 Not where, Mr. Powers... 315 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,670 ...but when. 316 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:23,590 1975. Studio 69 Disco. New York City. Corner of 69th and 8th. 317 00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:26,170 You go now, Mr. Powers. 318 00:23:26,380 --> 00:23:28,550 Fly, fly. 319 00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:37,810 I’ll get it. 320 00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:48,190 Instead of hiding your father in some remote location... 321 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,950 ...Goldmember is hiding him in 1975. 322 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,410 So our engineers have crafted this vehicle... 323 00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:56,750 ...to time-travel to the '70s. 324 00:23:56,910 --> 00:24:00,460 Smashing, Basil. A pimpmobile. 325 00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:03,630 Oh, yes, yes. l knew it would tickle your fancy. 326 00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,920 What can l say? Look. 327 00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:07,130 Cough. 328 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,720 Here we go, 1975. 329 00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:12,970 Good luck, Austin. 330 00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:14,970 1975! 331 00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:17,470 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 332 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,020 Solid Gold 333 00:25:02,850 --> 00:25:05,150 Solid Gold 334 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,690 It's gold, it's gold It's gold, it's gold 335 00:25:08,860 --> 00:25:11,570 It's solid gold, baby 336 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,330 It's gold, it's gold It's gold, it's gold 337 00:25:17,490 --> 00:25:20,500 It's solid gold, baby 338 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,290 Yeah 339 00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:24,540 He's got the Midas touch 340 00:25:24,710 --> 00:25:26,330 But he touched it too much 341 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:30,880 Hey, Goldmember 342 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,880 He's got a golden pad 343 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,970 He's super bad 344 00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:39,560 Hey, Goldmember 345 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,890 Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Studio 69. 346 00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:45,900 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. 347 00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:49,440 It’s Goldmember! 348 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,950 Hey, everybody, I am from Holland. 349 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,710 Isn't that weird? Yes. Ha, ha. 350 00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:07,330 He's got the Midas touch 351 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,380 But he touched it too much 352 00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:11,590 Hey, Goldmember -Yeah 353 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,760 Hey, Goldmember 354 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,590 You're getting' down tonight 355 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,760 Ow! -You're dynamite 356 00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:19,260 Hey, Goldmember 357 00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:22,350 -Goldmember -Hey, Goldmember 358 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,600 'Cause that's the way, uh-huh Uh-huh 359 00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:26,770 He likes it, uh-huh Uh-huh 360 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940 Goldmember -Goldmember 361 00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:31,190 He loves it -He loves it 362 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,360 'Cause that's the way, uh-huh -Uh-huh 363 00:26:33,530 --> 00:26:35,280 -He likes it, uh-huh -Uh-huh 364 00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:37,490 Goldmember -Goldmember 365 00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:39,490 He loves it -He loves it 366 00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:41,700 He's got the Midas touch 367 00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:43,950 He touched it too much 368 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,790 Hey, Goldmember 369 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,960 Hey, Goldmember -Goldmember 370 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,790 He's from the Netherlands 371 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,130 -It's where he learned to dance -Hey, Goldmember 372 00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:55,170 -Gold, Goldmember -Hey, Goldmember 373 00:26:55,340 --> 00:26:57,300 Hey, Goldmember 374 00:26:57,470 --> 00:27:00,180 It's gold, it's gold It's gold, it's gold 375 00:27:00,390 --> 00:27:03,390 It's solid gold, baby 376 00:27:03,810 --> 00:27:06,810 Goldmember's so solid -It's gold, it's gold, it's gold 377 00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:08,900 It's gold, it's gold, it's gold 378 00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:12,320 -It's gold -It's solid gold, baby 379 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,820 His member's so gold 380 00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:17,490 Yes, it is, yeah 381 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,790 Well, if it isn't Austin Powers. 382 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,000 I’m sorry? 383 00:27:29,170 --> 00:27:32,420 You got a lot of nerve dragging your jive white ass in here. 384 00:27:32,590 --> 00:27:35,000 l don't believe we've met. 385 00:27:35,670 --> 00:27:37,630 It’s me. Foxxy! 386 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,130 Foxxy Cleopatra! 387 00:27:39,550 --> 00:27:41,180 Long time, no see. 388 00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:43,680 -Oh. -Stop! 389 00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:46,020 We can't be seen talking to each other, you dig? 390 00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,600 I’m using this cat as a distraction. 391 00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:50,350 l get it. Yes, very clever. 392 00:27:51,230 --> 00:27:52,690 First things first. 393 00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:55,690 Ow! Ouch-kabibble! 394 00:27:55,860 --> 00:27:59,700 Eight years and no phone call? Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra! 395 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,200 Where have you been? 396 00:28:01,370 --> 00:28:03,410 Listen, Foxxy. 397 00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:06,790 l just want you to know l never intended to hurt you, baby. 398 00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:09,710 Well, all I know is... 399 00:28:09,870 --> 00:28:12,420 ...Mama only got a taste of honey... 400 00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:15,300 ...but she wanted the whole beehive. 401 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,550 Oh, beehive. 402 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,880 Yes, "beehive." 403 00:28:21,050 --> 00:28:23,300 You always knew how to make me smile. 404 00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:26,390 Well, you know, it's a gift, really. l, um-- 405 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,890 Ugh, what am I doing? 406 00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,060 Foxxy, what are you doing in Goldmember's club? 407 00:28:32,060 --> 00:28:33,230 I’m undercover. 408 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,070 About a year ago, my partner at the bureau was killed. 409 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,740 And that jive-ass turkey Goldmember is the prime suspect. 410 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,240 Ow! 411 00:28:43,070 --> 00:28:45,530 Your father's in the back room, under heavy guard. 412 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,540 -Thanks, Foxxy. -Austin! Good luck. 413 00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:06,260 Oh! 414 00:29:06,430 --> 00:29:08,260 -Dad! -Hello, son. 415 00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:11,060 Just overpowering my guards. Heh, heh. 416 00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:13,600 I’m here to rescue you. Come quickly. 417 00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:16,480 I’ve got a better idea. Why don't you rescue me in about... 418 00:29:16,650 --> 00:29:18,940 ...what, seven or eight minutes, eh? Ha, ha. 419 00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:22,780 Oh, knock it off. l don't want to see my dad on the job. 420 00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:23,950 Come on, let's go. 421 00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,780 Okay. I’m sorry. I'm sorry, girls. -No. 422 00:29:26,950 --> 00:29:29,450 I’ve got to go, it's my boy. Hold on. 423 00:29:31,620 --> 00:29:34,000 -What's wrong with your neck? -l took a Viagra. 424 00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:36,540 It got stuck in my throat. I’ve had a stiff neck for hours. 425 00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:37,960 l thank you. 426 00:29:39,510 --> 00:29:42,010 Listen, Dad, if you are gonna talk about naughty things... 427 00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:43,840 ...in front of these American girls... 428 00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,090 ...then at least speak "English" English. 429 00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:48,680 All right, my son. 430 00:29:48,850 --> 00:29:51,470 l could've had it away with this cracking Judy, my old china. 431 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,480 Are you telling pork pies and a bag of tripe? 432 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,310 Because if you are feeling quiggly, why not just have a J. Arthur? 433 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,560 -What, Billy No-Mates? -Too right, youth. 434 00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:01,280 Don't you remember the din-din with the grotty Scottish bint? 435 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,440 Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens? 436 00:30:03,610 --> 00:30:07,070 The trouble and strife of the Morris dancer that lived up the apples and pears. 437 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,870 Yes, yes, she was the barrister that became a bobby in a lorry... 438 00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:13,910 ...with a Gatling gun in and above St. Regis... 439 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,210 ...tea kettle. 440 00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:16,580 Yes. -Then she... 441 00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,000 Shat on a turtle. 442 00:30:19,170 --> 00:30:23,010 -Oh, God, we had some good times, eh? -We had some good times, eh? 443 00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:25,630 -Wonderful times, we had. -Good times, yeah. 444 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,100 We had some good, uh... 445 00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:31,470 ...times. 446 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,850 Welcome to 1975... 447 00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,440 ...Austin Powers and father. 448 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,360 Excuse me while l change. The roller boogie has made me sweaty. 449 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,020 Yeah, sweaty. 450 00:30:42,190 --> 00:30:43,820 You see, Mr. Powers... 451 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,580 ...I love gold. 452 00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:52,700 The look of it, the taste of it... 453 00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:55,620 ...the smell of it, the texture. 454 00:30:55,790 --> 00:30:57,500 l love gold so much... 455 00:30:57,670 --> 00:31:01,960 ...that I even lost my genitalia in an unfortunate smelting accident. 456 00:31:02,630 --> 00:31:04,550 Hence the name... 457 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,630 ...Goldmember. 458 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,560 We are both swingers, you see? Ha, ha. 459 00:31:17,730 --> 00:31:20,230 You have a tight body. Yes. 460 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,230 l see that from your tight pants. 461 00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:26,030 Yes, you are tight like a tiger. 462 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,360 Would you like a smoke and a pancake? 463 00:31:28,530 --> 00:31:31,410 -A what? -A smoke and a pancake. 464 00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,740 You know, flapjack and a cigarette? Hmm? 465 00:31:34,910 --> 00:31:36,910 All right. Cigar and a waffle? 466 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,250 No? Pipe and a crepe? 467 00:31:39,420 --> 00:31:42,080 No? Bong and a blintz? -No. 468 00:31:42,250 --> 00:31:45,210 Ah, well. Then there is no pleasing you. 469 00:31:45,380 --> 00:31:47,090 That's not right. 470 00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:50,130 Ooh, hello. What have we here? 471 00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:51,800 That's a keeper. Yes. 472 00:31:51,970 --> 00:31:54,600 Put it in the skin box, please. With the others. 473 00:31:54,770 --> 00:31:58,100 -I’m peeling. -Oh, that’s just disgusting. 474 00:31:58,270 --> 00:31:59,940 Quickly. Quickly. Thank you. 475 00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:01,270 Save me from myself. 476 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,560 You're insane, Goldmember. 477 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,780 And that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, l like it. 478 00:32:07,950 --> 00:32:10,280 KC and the Sunshine Band. 479 00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:13,740 All right, Goldmember, don't play the laughing boy. 480 00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:16,950 There are only two things l can't stand in this world: 481 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,330 People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... 482 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:23,630 ...and the Dutch. -What? 483 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,970 Take the father away. 484 00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:35,560 Dutch-hater. And now, ha, ha, it is time to say goodbye. 485 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,810 Dr. Evil's orders. 486 00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,310 Which for you is bad news, bears. 487 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,560 Walter Matthau. 488 00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:43,980 Shazam. 489 00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:46,690 Up yours, jive turkey. 490 00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:48,650 -Traitor. -Ugh! 491 00:32:48,820 --> 00:32:51,110 Heh-heh-heh. Yes, the gun. Good, very good. 492 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,820 2002. 493 00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,490 They're taking my father to the time machine. 494 00:32:56,660 --> 00:32:59,540 The say-what machine? -Come on, now. Ha, ha. 495 00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:01,250 No! -This way, sugar. 496 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,720 That was close, Foxxy. l owe you one. 497 00:33:13,890 --> 00:33:17,970 Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office. It’s a microfilm. It may be a clue. 498 00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:20,810 -Smashing. -l want to go to the future with you. 499 00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:24,020 We can catch Goldmember together. l owe it to my partner. 500 00:33:24,190 --> 00:33:27,150 l should warn you, Foxxy, 2002 is very different. 501 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,190 Well, heh, the future better get ready for me. 502 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,610 Because I’m Foxxy Cleopatra and I'm a whole lot of woman. 503 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,370 2002, here we come. 504 00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,800 All visitations limited to five minutes. 505 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,220 No spitting in the visitors' room. 506 00:33:57,220 --> 00:33:58,720 Herr Doctor... 507 00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:00,560 ...I have some news. 508 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,350 -It’s your son. -Oh. 509 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,390 He wants to take over the family business. 510 00:34:05,150 --> 00:34:06,900 Scotty does? 511 00:34:07,060 --> 00:34:10,110 Oh, he’s gotten so evil, he has even started losing his hair. 512 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,690 l know, it's sweet. 513 00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:14,900 Oh, he just wants to make you proud, Herr Doctor. 514 00:34:15,070 --> 00:34:17,450 After all, it’s hard on the boy not having a father. 515 00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:21,740 You know, first you were frozen, then you were in space, now you're in jail. 516 00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:24,540 Well, don't tell me he feels neglected. 517 00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:27,540 l was adopted by fricking Belgians, eh? 518 00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:29,090 You were adopted? 519 00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:31,800 l never met my birth parents. 520 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,260 There was a car accident. 521 00:34:34,510 --> 00:34:37,340 I'm told it was a beautiful Belgian day. 522 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:41,510 The smell of waffles and Brussels sprouts filled the summer air... 523 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,350 ...until.... 524 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,600 My birth mother was incinerated. 525 00:34:46,770 --> 00:34:49,810 l only survived because her smoking carcass... 526 00:34:49,980 --> 00:34:53,610 ...formed a protective cocoon of slaughtered human effluence. 527 00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,860 A Belgian man and his 15-year-old love slave with webbed feet... 528 00:34:57,030 --> 00:34:58,530 ...was looting the accident scene. 529 00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,910 They came across a blood-soaked baby, moi. 530 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,120 They raised me to be evil. 531 00:35:03,290 --> 00:35:06,080 You know, that old chestnut. 532 00:35:07,460 --> 00:35:10,460 But nothing compares to this, being inside the belly of the beast... 533 00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,750 ...night after night, all alone. 534 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,130 Daddy’s all pent up. Let’s freak! 535 00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:16,630 Oh! 536 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,360 Time's up. 537 00:35:34,530 --> 00:35:37,450 Visiting hours are over. Step to the line. 538 00:35:37,610 --> 00:35:39,240 Cuffs up. 539 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,620 Move it. 540 00:35:51,330 --> 00:35:52,750 Hi, there. 541 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,800 How you sleeping? Good? 542 00:35:57,170 --> 00:36:00,010 Gentlemen, listen up, y'all. 543 00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:02,180 Here's the new plan: 544 00:36:02,350 --> 00:36:04,220 You're gonna start a riot... 545 00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:07,520 ...and we’re gonna walk out the front door. 546 00:36:10,270 --> 00:36:11,600 Hey, man. 547 00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,820 l know guys on crack that makes more sense than you. 548 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,530 Really? 549 00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:19,780 Then let me put it to you this way, cuz. 550 00:36:25,370 --> 00:36:26,700 Yeah. 551 00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:29,960 -Instead of treated -We get tricked 552 00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:33,290 -Instead of kisses -We get kicked 553 00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,540 It's the hard knock 554 00:36:34,710 --> 00:36:36,800 I don't know how to be No crib on MTV 555 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,050 God only knows Got my Mini Me in the G.P. 556 00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:41,260 See how it goes Evil's all that I see 557 00:36:41,430 --> 00:36:43,550 And you ask me my name? D to the rizzo 558 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,390 E to the vizzo I to the lizzo 559 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,770 I'm a crazy Y'all knew that 560 00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:51,060 Austin caught me in the first act It's all backwards, what's with that? 561 00:36:51,230 --> 00:36:53,900 So I'll make a prophecy From the dogs to the Mini Me 562 00:36:54,060 --> 00:36:56,730 Give me an Escalade, a two-way Bling bling on eBay 563 00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,650 Domino 564 00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:04,740 Stick that in your pipe and smoke it 565 00:37:04,910 --> 00:37:06,580 Instead of treated 566 00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:09,830 This is for all my homeys in Bruges 567 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,580 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh 568 00:37:17,550 --> 00:37:19,420 Ah, Cristal. 569 00:37:19,590 --> 00:37:20,630 My Moto. 570 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,260 A couple of beyotches. 571 00:37:22,430 --> 00:37:23,930 Why not? 572 00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,640 I gotta bust a move Drop and bust a groove 573 00:37:26,810 --> 00:37:29,060 Feelin' fine, got an evil crew Goldmember too 574 00:37:29,220 --> 00:37:30,220 Lick my 9 575 00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:32,940 Till then I'll...on my...butt Brains out 576 00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:35,770 Put...on call And splooge in your...that's all 577 00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:37,690 Fo' shizzle my nizzle, y'all 578 00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,320 Yeah. 579 00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:44,410 All right, Listen up. 580 00:37:44,570 --> 00:37:47,200 Tonight, 8 p.m., you're going to start a riot. 581 00:37:47,370 --> 00:37:49,620 Yes, Dr. Evil. 582 00:37:49,790 --> 00:37:53,290 Attention, all guards. There is a riot in progress. 583 00:37:53,460 --> 00:37:55,290 Seal all exits. 584 00:37:55,460 --> 00:38:00,340 Attention. Dr. Evil and his clone are trying to escape. 585 00:38:00,510 --> 00:38:04,380 All guards report to Cell Block A immediately. 586 00:38:04,550 --> 00:38:07,640 Dr. Evil and his clone are getting away. 587 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:17,980 There you are. 588 00:38:18,150 --> 00:38:20,980 -Good morning, sunshine. -Good morning. 589 00:38:21,150 --> 00:38:22,440 How did you sleep? 590 00:38:22,610 --> 00:38:25,990 -Great. -Me too. If these lips could talk. 591 00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:29,830 Mm. Oh, hello. 592 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,080 You have the right to remain sexy, sugar. 593 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,540 Oh. l hope there's a search involved. 594 00:38:38,130 --> 00:38:39,250 You've got mail. 595 00:38:39,420 --> 00:38:41,840 So, what does this thing do? 596 00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:43,510 Well, it's called the Internet... 597 00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,050 ...and it's completely revolutionized the way we live... 598 00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,840 ...and access vital information. 599 00:38:48,010 --> 00:38:49,970 For example, have a look at this: 600 00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:51,470 Oh, look at the monkey. 601 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,680 Oh, he's got his finger on his-- -Oh, no. Watch out. 602 00:38:57,270 --> 00:38:59,770 Wow. Now, that's vital information. 603 00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:01,440 l know. It’s amazing. 604 00:39:04,190 --> 00:39:07,030 Oh, Basil. What's happening, baby? 605 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,860 A lot is happening, Foxxy. 606 00:39:09,030 --> 00:39:11,120 Dr. Evil has escaped. 607 00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:13,330 The good news is that one of our agents... 608 00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:16,870 ...has managed to infiltrate Dr. Evil's organization. 609 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,710 Excellent. We’ve been trying for years to get a mole inside Dr. Evil’s lair. 610 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,840 -We now have that mole. -Yes. 611 00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,300 And here he is. 612 00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:29,340 So you're the-- 613 00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:33,890 Mo.... 614 00:39:34,060 --> 00:39:35,930 Most. Most. 615 00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:38,480 -Most. -Most excellent agent we've ever seen. 616 00:39:38,650 --> 00:39:40,900 Yes, most excellent agent we’ve ever seen. 617 00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:42,900 -Mm-hm. -Thank you. 618 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:44,570 Thank you. 619 00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,400 Now, l wasn't able to get an exact Location, but l did learn... 620 00:39:47,570 --> 00:39:50,360 ...that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside of Tokyo, Japan. 621 00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:52,410 Hmm. 622 00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:56,580 By the way, l realize that l have a large mole on my face. 623 00:39:57,910 --> 00:39:59,500 Where? Ha, ha. 624 00:39:59,670 --> 00:40:02,330 What? Where's that mole? Heh, heh. 625 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,590 l didn't see one. 626 00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:09,050 l also realize the irony that l am myself a mole. 627 00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,850 No one would make that connection. 628 00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:17,770 Anyway, well done, old chap. 629 00:40:17,930 --> 00:40:18,980 Jolly good work. 630 00:40:19,140 --> 00:40:22,440 Yes, nice to mole you-- Meet you. Nice to meet your mole. 631 00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:23,770 -Don't say "mole." -Stop. 632 00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:25,980 -l said "mole." -Stop. 633 00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,400 Stop. 634 00:40:29,450 --> 00:40:31,110 Bye. -Mole. 635 00:40:35,330 --> 00:40:36,620 Mole. 636 00:40:36,790 --> 00:40:38,500 Stop. 637 00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:43,210 -Mole. -Oh, shut up! 638 00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,800 Moley-moley-moley-moIey-moley. 639 00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,900 Up, periscope. 640 00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,820 Ladies and gentlemen... 641 00:41:11,990 --> 00:41:14,160 ...welcome to my new submarine lair. 642 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,240 It’s long and hard and full of seamen. 643 00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,170 Nothing? No? 644 00:41:26,340 --> 00:41:27,590 Not even a titter? 645 00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:28,960 Tough sub. 646 00:41:29,130 --> 00:41:31,920 Dr. Evil, you look very tight. 647 00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:33,590 Yes, tight like a tiger. 648 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,180 -Yes, yes, yes. -Really? 649 00:41:35,350 --> 00:41:37,140 Yes, you look like a macho man. 650 00:41:37,310 --> 00:41:39,140 Village People. 651 00:41:39,310 --> 00:41:40,520 You know, Goldmember... 652 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,770 ...I don't think that’s something one dude should say to another dude. 653 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,480 Yeah. A little creepy. Mm-hm. 654 00:41:46,650 --> 00:41:51,440 Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. This is a keeper. Oi. 655 00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:52,860 Yes. 656 00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:56,990 All right, you're not gonna put that skin in your mouth, are you? 657 00:41:58,490 --> 00:42:00,990 You did. Okay, that’s just gross. 658 00:42:02,210 --> 00:42:04,460 Yes, salty. Yes, that was good. 659 00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,710 Ladies and gentlemen... 660 00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:09,920 ...as you know... 661 00:42:10,090 --> 00:42:12,840 ...we've been designing a "tractor beam"... 662 00:42:13,010 --> 00:42:15,130 ...code-named Preparation H. 663 00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:19,050 -Heh-heh-heh. -It’s powerful enough to pull the meteor... 664 00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:23,060 ..."Midas 22" into a collision course with the Earth. 665 00:42:23,230 --> 00:42:27,600 Upon entering the atmosphere, the hot ball of magma... 666 00:42:27,770 --> 00:42:31,610 ...will strike and melt the polar icecaps, causing a global flood. 667 00:42:31,780 --> 00:42:36,240 But enough of my technical mumbo jumbo. Allow me to demonstrate. 668 00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:41,910 Lower the globe. 669 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:43,910 Lower the globe! 670 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,250 Ow! Ow! 671 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,000 Well, congratulations, numbnuts. 672 00:42:51,170 --> 00:42:55,220 You've succeeded in turning me into a fricking jack-in-the-box. 673 00:42:55,380 --> 00:42:57,840 Get it off. Get it off. It's dark, it's dark. 674 00:42:58,010 --> 00:42:59,720 I’m okay. I’m okay. 675 00:43:01,310 --> 00:43:02,930 Release the meteor. 676 00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,100 Release the meteor! 677 00:43:06,770 --> 00:43:08,270 -Ow! -Oh.... 678 00:43:10,270 --> 00:43:11,360 No way. 679 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,030 Right in the kniggin. 680 00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:16,240 -Goddamn it. Oh! -Ow. 681 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,950 Guys. 682 00:43:18,450 --> 00:43:19,780 Way to go, A-hole. 683 00:43:19,950 --> 00:43:24,290 All right, hold on while I try and find my balls, for God's sakes. 684 00:43:24,450 --> 00:43:26,660 One, two and three. 685 00:43:26,830 --> 00:43:28,620 Okay. I'm okay. 686 00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:32,710 Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. 687 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,300 May l present to you... 688 00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:37,670 ...the very sexual, the very tight... 689 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,970 ...Austin Powers' father. 690 00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,810 -His what? -His father, Dr. Evil. 691 00:43:43,970 --> 00:43:45,720 His "farger"? 692 00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:50,100 -What's a farger? -His father. You know, the father. 693 00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:54,940 Yeah. Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch, okay, perv boy? 694 00:43:55,110 --> 00:43:57,240 Father. His dad. Dad is father. 695 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,530 Oh, his dad? 696 00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:00,990 Oh, his father. 697 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,660 Yes, I have a Dutch accent. Isn’t that weird? 698 00:44:03,830 --> 00:44:05,740 Father. Father. 699 00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:09,000 Ah, Nigel Powers. 700 00:44:09,170 --> 00:44:10,500 Hello, hello. 701 00:44:14,130 --> 00:44:18,470 -Bring him to me. -Easy peezy, lemon squeezy. 702 00:44:18,630 --> 00:44:21,720 Oh, put the guns down. Is this the first day on the job or something? 703 00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:25,510 Look, this is how it goes. You attack me one at a time... 704 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,930 ...and l knock you out with a single punch. Okay? Go. 705 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:30,520 -Judo chop. -Oh, he's good. 706 00:44:30,690 --> 00:44:31,940 Judo chop. 707 00:44:32,610 --> 00:44:33,980 Do you know who I am? 708 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,730 Have you any idea how many anonymous henchmen... 709 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,360 ...I've killed over the years? And look at you. 710 00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:42,530 You haven't even got a nametag. You got no chance. 711 00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:44,160 Why don't you just fall down? 712 00:44:44,330 --> 00:44:46,240 Go on, son. 713 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,620 All right, Dr. Evil, give yourself up while you've still got a chance. 714 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,340 Okay. Okay. You've got me. 715 00:44:56,500 --> 00:44:58,880 Nigel Powers, meet... 716 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,550 ...Mini Me. -Oh, blimey. 717 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,050 l thought l smelled cabbage. 718 00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:05,390 Take him away. 719 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,560 Uh, Dr. Evil, can l paint his yoo-hoo gold? 720 00:45:09,730 --> 00:45:12,390 It’s kind of my thing, you know. 721 00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:21,490 How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard? 722 00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:25,950 Attention, henchmen, it's health week. 723 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,740 Don't forget your physical. Dr. Evil's orders. 724 00:45:32,830 --> 00:45:35,830 You know, l think it's a shame the way they treat you. 725 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,590 Just because you're one-eighth their size... 726 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,760 ...doesn't mean you deserve one-eighth of their respect. 727 00:45:42,430 --> 00:45:44,050 Does it? 728 00:45:44,220 --> 00:45:46,930 Say, mini-fella, I'm, uh... 729 00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,930 ...I'm curious. 730 00:45:49,430 --> 00:45:52,770 Is, uh, everything in proportion? 731 00:45:54,270 --> 00:45:56,940 You know, your bobby-dangler, your general, two colonels... 732 00:45:57,110 --> 00:45:59,360 ...your giggle stick, master of ceremonies. 733 00:46:00,690 --> 00:46:02,940 Yeah. Oh, don't be shy. Let's have a look. 734 00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:10,290 My word. 735 00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:11,950 You're a tripod. 736 00:46:13,710 --> 00:46:17,580 What do you feed that thing, eh? It’s like a baby's arm holding an apple. 737 00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:23,470 The good news is, you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand. 738 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:32,560 l think we both know who the real brains is behind this operation, eh? 739 00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:33,770 Mm-hm. 740 00:46:47,820 --> 00:46:50,780 Tokyo à gogo, baby. Yeah. 741 00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,250 Oh, what's kicking, Basil? 742 00:46:54,410 --> 00:46:57,170 A lot's kicking, Foxxy. Austin... 743 00:46:57,330 --> 00:47:01,590 ...one of Dr. Evil's henchmen has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena. 744 00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:03,670 Proceed there immediately. 745 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,170 Thanks, Basil. 746 00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:16,140 Ah, Jesus Christ. This diaper's making my nuts rub together. 747 00:47:16,310 --> 00:47:19,190 It’s gonna start a fire. 748 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,110 That's Fat Bastard. 749 00:47:21,270 --> 00:47:25,030 ...Fat Bastard. 750 00:47:37,540 --> 00:47:39,880 You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? 751 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,040 Twister. 752 00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,720 Oh! 753 00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:51,390 Fat Bastard... 754 00:47:53,060 --> 00:47:55,350 -That's not right. -Sure ain't. 755 00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,350 Are we done here? 756 00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,690 I’ve got to take a crap. 757 00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,770 Wait a tick. 758 00:48:02,940 --> 00:48:05,030 Something doesn't smell right. 759 00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:07,740 And l think it's Fat Bastard. 760 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:12,320 On top of spaghetti 761 00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:16,080 All covered in-- Ahh! --cheese 762 00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:21,500 I lost my poor meatball 763 00:48:21,670 --> 00:48:23,000 'Cause somebody-- 764 00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:30,050 -You okay, Austin? -Sound as a pound, love. Yeah. Good. 765 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,180 What the--? I didn't have any corn. 766 00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:40,100 Aah! 767 00:48:49,030 --> 00:48:50,450 Hey, diaper lady. 768 00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,740 Here's my diaper. 769 00:48:54,410 --> 00:48:56,540 l think l might have pinched one off too soon. 770 00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,370 Oh, l left a rosebud in there for you. 771 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,470 You really are a fat bastard. 772 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,970 You know, that hurts my feelings. l tried going on a diet, you know. 773 00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:21,640 The Zone. You know, "carbs are the enemy"? 774 00:49:22,230 --> 00:49:24,310 We don't like carbs, you know what I mean? 775 00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:25,860 Oh. 776 00:49:27,530 --> 00:49:28,900 Who's your friend? 777 00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:32,650 Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly. 778 00:49:32,820 --> 00:49:35,370 Oh, do you find me sexy? 779 00:49:35,530 --> 00:49:37,410 Oh, look at my titties. 780 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,330 -Shut your mouth. -Mm, yeah. 781 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,420 All right, that's enough. 782 00:49:44,580 --> 00:49:46,590 Okay, you got me. 783 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,170 -Put it there, would you? -Okay. 784 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,090 Come here, you. 785 00:49:55,890 --> 00:49:58,350 Ow, my titties! 786 00:49:58,510 --> 00:50:00,680 Ow, you gave me a nurple. 787 00:50:06,310 --> 00:50:08,360 I’ve got you now, ha-ha-ha. 788 00:50:09,530 --> 00:50:10,690 Come here, you. 789 00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,700 Prepare for the ultimate wire-fighting maneuver. 790 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,290 l just hope my wire-fighting team is ready. 791 00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:30,050 Whoa! 792 00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:47,480 -Crikey. -Oh, great. 793 00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:49,480 Isn’t this magical? 794 00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:51,360 One of my wires broke. 795 00:50:59,030 --> 00:51:00,530 You under arrest, sugar. 796 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,080 Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat you made an exchange with? 797 00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:08,420 Oh, all right. 798 00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:11,040 His name is Roboto. 799 00:51:11,210 --> 00:51:13,340 He owns Roboto Industries. 800 00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:18,180 He's designing some contraption for Dr. Evil. l don't know. 801 00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:19,930 The tractor beam. 802 00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:21,350 That's it. -Listen... 803 00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:24,520 ...do you honestly think that crime can pay? 804 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,600 Well, to be honest with you, I’ve been trying to go legit. 805 00:51:28,270 --> 00:51:31,400 l really take my sumo wrestling seriously, you know. 806 00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:35,820 But when you're an overweight child... 807 00:51:35,990 --> 00:51:39,660 ...in a society that demands perfection... 808 00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:42,950 ...well, your sense of right, wrong... 809 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,660 ...fair and unfair... 810 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:50,460 ...will always be tragically skewed. 811 00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:57,800 Did you just soil yourself? 812 00:51:57,970 --> 00:52:00,430 Maybe, heh-heh-heh. 813 00:52:00,590 --> 00:52:03,300 It did sound a little wet, didn't it? Right at the end. 814 00:52:03,470 --> 00:52:04,720 Ooh. Ha-ha-ha. 815 00:52:04,890 --> 00:52:06,270 Let's have a smell, all right? 816 00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:08,980 Ooh, wafting, wafting. 817 00:52:09,150 --> 00:52:12,730 Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? This is magic. 818 00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,610 All right, analysis: 819 00:52:14,780 --> 00:52:17,820 Oh, it smells Like carrots and throw-up. 820 00:52:17,990 --> 00:52:19,990 Oh, that could gag a maggot. 821 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:24,660 l smell Like hot, sick ass in a dead carcass. 822 00:52:25,370 --> 00:52:28,960 Oh, even stink would say that stinks. 823 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,330 You know when you go into an apartment building... 824 00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,170 ...and you smell other people's cooking on each floor and you go: 825 00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:37,590 "What are they cooking?" That, plus crap. 826 00:52:45,390 --> 00:52:47,270 -Hey, Pop. -Hey, Scotty. 827 00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:49,020 How you been, sport? 828 00:52:49,190 --> 00:52:50,690 Whoa! 829 00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:52,150 l got you a present. 830 00:52:52,310 --> 00:52:53,650 Really? 831 00:52:53,810 --> 00:52:56,190 -Open the tank. -Open the tank! 832 00:53:02,820 --> 00:53:06,530 Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads? 833 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,750 Cool. You mean l actually have fricking sharks... 834 00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,380 ...with fricking Laser beams attached to their fricking heads? 835 00:53:18,010 --> 00:53:21,170 You're the best evil son an evil dad could ever ask for. 836 00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:24,640 Well, l love you, Dad. 837 00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:29,470 l love you, son. 838 00:53:31,230 --> 00:53:32,440 It’s touching moment, yes. 839 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,020 Scotty, come here. 840 00:53:35,980 --> 00:53:38,150 Pop a squat right next to Daddy. 841 00:53:40,740 --> 00:53:41,950 Mini Me? 842 00:53:42,490 --> 00:53:44,490 Move down the bench. 843 00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:47,410 Move down the bench. 844 00:53:47,580 --> 00:53:48,990 There's a power struggle, yes. 845 00:53:54,420 --> 00:53:56,750 Scotty's on fire. 846 00:53:58,590 --> 00:54:00,380 All right, it's getting crowded in here. 847 00:54:00,550 --> 00:54:02,760 Everyone out, everyone out. Come on. 848 00:54:02,930 --> 00:54:05,050 Not you, Scotty. Not you, Number Two. 849 00:54:05,220 --> 00:54:06,890 Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember. 850 00:54:07,050 --> 00:54:08,390 Not you, guys back there. 851 00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,600 Not you, Henchman Holding Wrench. 852 00:54:10,770 --> 00:54:12,770 Not you, Henchman Arbitrarily Turning Knobs... 853 00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:14,940 ...Making It Seem Like You're Doing Something. 854 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,950 Oh, this is uncomfortable. 855 00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,790 Heh, heh. The tiny one can't take a hint. Heh-heh-heh. 856 00:54:33,910 --> 00:54:36,460 He doesn't understand. He is small, heh, heh. 857 00:54:54,060 --> 00:54:56,270 Hello, Foxxy. Austin. 858 00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,940 We've confirmed what Fat Bastard told you about Roboto is accurate. 859 00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:03,480 He was hired by Dr. Evil to construct Preparation H. 860 00:55:03,650 --> 00:55:07,740 So Roboto had the technology to build Goldmember's tractor beam. 861 00:55:07,910 --> 00:55:09,780 Which means Roboto will lead us to Goldmember. 862 00:55:09,950 --> 00:55:13,040 Which means Goldmember will lead us to my father. 863 00:55:25,420 --> 00:55:28,510 Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. I thank you. 864 00:55:34,020 --> 00:55:36,100 -You speak Japanese? -A little. 865 00:55:36,270 --> 00:55:38,940 Well, you might be a cunning linguist, but I’m a master debater. 866 00:55:42,690 --> 00:55:44,940 I’m looking for my father. He was kidnapped. 867 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:51,990 Please eat what? 868 00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:53,740 Wait. 869 00:55:54,660 --> 00:55:58,370 He said, "Please eat some shitake mushrooms." 870 00:55:58,540 --> 00:56:00,330 Tell me... 871 00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:01,960 ...what do you know... 872 00:56:02,130 --> 00:56:05,710 ...about my father's where... 873 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:10,180 ...abouts? 874 00:56:10,340 --> 00:56:11,680 Mm. 875 00:56:15,470 --> 00:56:17,730 "Your ass is happy"? 876 00:56:17,890 --> 00:56:19,230 No. 877 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,820 He said, "Your assignment is an unhappy one." 878 00:56:24,980 --> 00:56:26,280 Oh. 879 00:56:29,150 --> 00:56:31,740 Nice potty mouth, dirtbag. 880 00:56:33,740 --> 00:56:34,870 Oh. 881 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,830 Yes, quite off topic, thank you very much. 882 00:56:40,670 --> 00:56:42,880 Why don't I just speak in English? 883 00:56:44,090 --> 00:56:46,090 That would be a good idea, now, wouldn't it? 884 00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:48,260 That way l wouldn't misread the subtitles... 885 00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:51,590 ...making it seem like you're saying things that are dirty. 886 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,930 I’m sorry to hear about your father, but l can't help you. 887 00:56:56,770 --> 00:56:59,100 Please excuse me. l have another appointment. 888 00:57:05,110 --> 00:57:06,320 By the way... 889 00:57:11,700 --> 00:57:15,030 -Mr. Roboto is lying to us. -Tell me something l don't know. 890 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,450 -l open-mouth kissed a horse once. -Say what? 891 00:57:17,620 --> 00:57:19,040 That's something you don't know. 892 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,120 My spider sense is telling me that my father's still in this building. 893 00:57:22,290 --> 00:57:25,630 You keep a lookout. I’m gonna try and sneak in. 894 00:58:29,820 --> 00:58:31,820 Mm. 895 00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,750 Come on, come on, come on. 896 00:59:08,730 --> 00:59:09,900 Judo chop! 897 00:59:36,010 --> 00:59:37,930 Shazam! 898 00:59:38,090 --> 00:59:39,430 Come on, sugar. 899 00:59:44,470 --> 00:59:47,270 -There's Goldmember and Roboto. -Yes, very impressive. 900 00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,100 Put Preparation H into my schtuppen transporten. 901 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,400 -What's this? -You need this to turn on the tractor beam. 902 00:59:56,570 --> 00:59:58,280 It’s a gold key. 903 00:59:58,450 --> 00:59:59,860 It’s gold. 904 01:00:00,820 --> 01:00:02,160 Smarty-pants. 905 01:00:02,330 --> 01:00:04,450 -Let's spread out. -Yeah. 906 01:00:08,870 --> 01:00:11,330 Hands up, Goldmember. It’s payback time. 907 01:00:12,710 --> 01:00:14,130 Sure, you can kill me... 908 01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:18,050 ...but then what happens to Austin Powers' father? 909 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:27,850 -Dad. -Yes. 910 01:00:28,020 --> 01:00:31,310 And now he's going to have an unfortunate smelting accident. 911 01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:40,320 -Hiya! -Unh! 912 01:00:40,490 --> 01:00:43,070 Don't worry, Dad. I’m here to rescue you. 913 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:47,580 Ow! May l point out that last time around, you fell into an obvious trap. 914 01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:50,160 Now you're trying to save me instead of stopping Goldmember. 915 01:00:50,330 --> 01:00:53,170 Oh, please. I’m not gonna let Goldmember get away. 916 01:00:53,340 --> 01:00:55,340 Austin, Goldmember's getting away. 917 01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:56,840 Ah. 918 01:01:01,510 --> 01:01:05,350 Hello, hello. Aren't you going to introduce us, Austin? 919 01:01:05,510 --> 01:01:07,810 -Foxxy, this is-- -Powers. Nigel Powers. 920 01:01:08,930 --> 01:01:12,440 -Is that Eau de Flores you're wearing? -Yes, it is. 921 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:13,980 That's how a woman should smell. 922 01:01:14,150 --> 01:01:16,360 Especially one as beautiful as you. 923 01:01:16,530 --> 01:01:20,440 My, my. Even in the face of danger, you live up to your reputation. 924 01:01:23,370 --> 01:01:24,530 Get on with it. 925 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,710 I’ve got an idea. 926 01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:36,880 Your spy car's a MINI? 927 01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:40,050 It’s not the size, mate, it's how you use it. 928 01:02:03,530 --> 01:02:05,320 l would've found my way off that. 929 01:02:05,490 --> 01:02:07,490 Fellas. -What? I saved your life. 930 01:02:07,660 --> 01:02:10,200 -You should've been doing your job. -Oh, you're welcome, man. 931 01:02:10,370 --> 01:02:12,370 Shut up and turn around, please! 932 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,150 Run! It’s Godzilla! 933 01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,910 It looks Like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it's not. 934 01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,450 Still, we should run Like it is Godzilla! 935 01:02:49,620 --> 01:02:50,870 Though it isn't. 936 01:02:56,460 --> 01:02:57,790 There's Goldmember. 937 01:03:04,130 --> 01:03:06,300 Breaker, breaker, 1-niner. 938 01:03:06,470 --> 01:03:08,300 This is Goldy-Wang. Over. 939 01:03:08,470 --> 01:03:09,970 10-4, there, Goldy-Wang. 940 01:03:10,140 --> 01:03:12,470 This is Rubber Ducky. What's your 10-20? Over. 941 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,440 I’ve got Preparation H in my rear and Smokey the Bear in my back door. 942 01:03:16,650 --> 01:03:18,900 We've got us a convoy. Over. 943 01:03:19,060 --> 01:03:22,820 Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch pile of monkey nuts. 944 01:03:23,530 --> 01:03:25,860 Open wide there, Rubber Ducky. 945 01:03:26,030 --> 01:03:28,530 I am entering your mouth now. Over. 946 01:03:34,790 --> 01:03:38,500 Oh, great. Goldmember got away. -Now what? 947 01:03:38,670 --> 01:03:41,460 l think it's obvious. We should take Dr. Evil's lair by force. 948 01:03:41,630 --> 01:03:44,050 -You can be my backup, son. -Backup? 949 01:03:44,210 --> 01:03:46,130 Well, that's fairly condescending. 950 01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:48,380 Do you think Dr. Evil's gonna expect an attack? 951 01:03:48,550 --> 01:03:50,390 We should infiltrate his lair. 952 01:03:50,550 --> 01:03:53,180 This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy. 953 01:03:53,350 --> 01:03:57,350 We need commandos, scuba, gadgets, for God's sake. 954 01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,850 Well, l don't like to use gadgets... 955 01:04:00,020 --> 01:04:02,150 ...outside the bedroom. I thank you. 956 01:04:05,030 --> 01:04:06,110 Outside the bedroom. 957 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,700 You know, l think being frozen damaged your brain. 958 01:04:10,530 --> 01:04:12,990 Really? And how would you know? 959 01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:16,830 This is the most time that we've ever spent together since... 960 01:04:17,330 --> 01:04:18,370 ...ever. 961 01:04:18,540 --> 01:04:20,620 -What are you saying, son? -Oh, please. 962 01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:23,710 What boy learned to drive a car with machine guns on it? 963 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,880 Or had a helicopter you can fit in a knapsack? 964 01:04:27,050 --> 01:04:29,050 What about your Swedish nanny, Helga? 965 01:04:30,510 --> 01:04:31,550 Oh, yes. Helga. 966 01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,550 Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking. 967 01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,310 -Ha-ha-ha. -Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes. 968 01:04:35,470 --> 01:04:37,140 She stayed on until you were 24. 969 01:04:39,060 --> 01:04:40,640 We were mates, you and l. 970 01:04:40,810 --> 01:04:44,020 l didn't need a friend, I needed a father. 971 01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:47,070 Do you know l risked my life trying to save you... 972 01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,700 ...and you still don't give me any respect. 973 01:04:49,860 --> 01:04:54,160 Respect? Oh, come on. lf you've got an issue, here’s a tissue. 974 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,340 That is not funny. 975 01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:08,760 Well, l suppose we better go our separate ways, then. 976 01:05:10,630 --> 01:05:16,560 Fine. 977 01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,900 So I've been assigned to welcome you to the Ministry of Defence. 978 01:05:31,070 --> 01:05:34,530 l have a letter from my director personally thanking you for switching sides. 979 01:05:42,830 --> 01:05:45,080 l can't wait to inform Austin of your defection. 980 01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,800 Oh, hello, Basil. 981 01:05:51,970 --> 01:05:54,800 Yes, Austin should be here any second. Yes. 982 01:05:55,390 --> 01:05:57,810 Yes, I'm in Austin’s hotel room right now. Mm-hm. 983 01:06:04,270 --> 01:06:06,310 -Aah! -Oh-- Uh-- 984 01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,480 -Assassin! -Eek! 985 01:06:11,150 --> 01:06:13,070 Try to kill me, will you? 986 01:06:16,070 --> 01:06:17,950 Oh, you want to be friends, huh? 987 01:06:19,620 --> 01:06:21,250 Wait a tick. 988 01:06:22,580 --> 01:06:23,910 Peace? 989 01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,120 Oh! 990 01:06:25,290 --> 01:06:27,130 I’m not falling for that again. 991 01:06:36,470 --> 01:06:38,680 But at least he didn't mention it. 992 01:06:38,850 --> 01:06:41,180 Yes, I realize he can't talk. 993 01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,350 Listen, l think Dr. Evil treated him badly and that's why he's decided to help us. 994 01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,610 Come back here, you little bugger. 995 01:06:54,740 --> 01:06:55,860 Got you. 996 01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,790 Oh, yes, I’m sure Austin and Mini will get along famously. 997 01:07:03,370 --> 01:07:06,460 No, l guarantee nothing will happen to Mini Me on my watch. 998 01:07:10,710 --> 01:07:13,550 Come on, you bugger. Come on, I got you. 999 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:23,220 Oh, l think he and Austin will be united in their commitment to stopping Dr. Evil. 1000 01:07:27,310 --> 01:07:30,860 Austin, there you are. I’ve come to tell you the good news. 1001 01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:36,900 Mini Me has... 1002 01:07:37,740 --> 01:07:38,740 ...switched sides. 1003 01:07:39,410 --> 01:07:42,240 Ah! Oh. Heh. 1004 01:07:42,410 --> 01:07:46,870 Sorry about that, old chap. Sorry. You know. Sorry. 1005 01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,500 Welcome aboard, heh-heh-heh. 1006 01:07:49,670 --> 01:07:52,170 -My "mole-stake." -What was that? 1007 01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:56,420 -Listen, just get it out of your system. -No, I’m fine. 1008 01:07:56,590 --> 01:07:58,590 -We could work together better if-- -It’s okay-- 1009 01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:00,470 Mole! Bloody mole! 1010 01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:04,770 We're not supposed to talk about the mole, but there's a mole winking me in the face. 1011 01:08:04,930 --> 01:08:09,190 I’m gonna chop it off and cut it up and make some guacamole. 1012 01:08:11,270 --> 01:08:13,690 -Better? -Yeah. Yes. 1013 01:08:27,870 --> 01:08:31,040 So you've decided to join us, huh, Mini Me? 1014 01:08:31,210 --> 01:08:33,460 Welcome to the good side, my mini-brother. 1015 01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:36,630 And thank you for the map of Dr. Evil's sub. 1016 01:08:38,130 --> 01:08:39,800 What's this? It says: 1017 01:08:39,970 --> 01:08:43,430 "Dr. Evil's tractor beam is now complete. There's not much time. 1018 01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,140 Dr. Evil must pay." 1019 01:08:49,770 --> 01:08:52,940 "You are so beautiful. Are you a clone of an angel?" 1020 01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:58,440 That is so sweet. Well, no, my mini-man, I'm not. 1021 01:09:01,740 --> 01:09:03,990 "Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?" 1022 01:09:05,330 --> 01:09:06,740 Yeah, I'm sure. 1023 01:09:06,950 --> 01:09:08,200 "Would you like to?" 1024 01:09:11,830 --> 01:09:13,750 Horny bugger. 1025 01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:15,960 That is so not funny. 1026 01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,760 Okay, everyone, prepare to dive. 1027 01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,430 This spy car's also a submarine. 1028 01:09:36,690 --> 01:09:39,190 Get me the World Organization. 1029 01:09:41,570 --> 01:09:42,860 What is it, Dr. Evil? 1030 01:09:43,030 --> 01:09:44,490 Gentlemen, in a matter of hours... 1031 01:09:44,660 --> 01:09:48,540 ...a meteor will crash into Earth, causing a global flood. 1032 01:09:48,700 --> 01:09:50,830 That is, of course, unless you pay me... 1033 01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:54,000 ...one billion... 1034 01:09:59,880 --> 01:10:02,170 ...million yen. 1035 01:10:02,340 --> 01:10:04,050 l think you're bluffing. 1036 01:10:04,220 --> 01:10:08,220 Well, perhaps you'd like a demonstration. Number Two, the key, please. 1037 01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:32,250 Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing. 1038 01:10:32,410 --> 01:10:34,410 One of our satellites is falling out of orbit. 1039 01:10:34,580 --> 01:10:37,000 -Which one? -It's the one that looks like a pair of-- 1040 01:10:37,170 --> 01:10:40,420 Melons. Big, juicy melons. 1041 01:10:40,590 --> 01:10:42,590 Are they nice and firm? 1042 01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,590 Well, what do you think? 1043 01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:47,510 Look at that. It looks like a set of giant-- 1044 01:10:49,430 --> 01:10:53,270 -Hey, "A" and "N," you're late. -How we doing? We're back. 1045 01:10:53,430 --> 01:10:55,770 Go, Titans! 1046 01:10:55,940 --> 01:10:58,360 Check it out. Those remind me of-- 1047 01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:00,860 -Boobs. -Boobs, Ozzy? 1048 01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:05,450 -These filmmakers are ****ing boobs. -What do you mean, Dad? 1049 01:11:05,610 --> 01:11:10,200 They're using the same ****ing joke as they did in the last Austin Powers movie. 1050 01:11:10,370 --> 01:11:12,790 -What ****ing joke? -You know, the ****ing joke... 1051 01:11:12,950 --> 01:11:15,460 ...about the long smooth rocket that looks like some guy's-- 1052 01:11:15,620 --> 01:11:17,460 -Johnson. -Yes, sir. 1053 01:11:17,630 --> 01:11:21,300 -Any sign of that satellite? -No, sir. It's gone. 1054 01:11:21,460 --> 01:11:25,010 Gentlemen, you have my demands. Peace out. 1055 01:11:59,580 --> 01:12:02,290 Cor, baby. You look very switched on. 1056 01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:05,380 Thank you, Austin. 1057 01:12:05,550 --> 01:12:06,880 Uh-- 1058 01:12:08,510 --> 01:12:11,800 No, Mini Me. Off. Bad. Mustn't. No humping. 1059 01:12:14,180 --> 01:12:17,100 Dr. Evil, in light of the success of the device... 1060 01:12:17,270 --> 01:12:19,690 ...it is Japanese custom that l receive a bonus. 1061 01:12:21,110 --> 01:12:23,860 A bonus? Ha-ha-ha. That's good. 1062 01:12:24,030 --> 01:12:25,690 Yeah, that's awesome. 1063 01:12:25,860 --> 01:12:28,360 Throw me a fricking bonus here. Ha-ha-ha. 1064 01:12:31,370 --> 01:12:34,200 Oh, l haven't laughed that hard since l was a little girl. Thank you. 1065 01:12:34,370 --> 01:12:36,580 -Hmm. -Oh. 1066 01:12:36,750 --> 01:12:38,040 You're not joking. 1067 01:12:38,210 --> 01:12:40,370 No. In fact, if you don't give me the bonus-- 1068 01:12:40,540 --> 01:12:42,670 Hey, Dad. -Hey, Scotty. How are you, sport? 1069 01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:44,500 Whoa! 1070 01:12:50,970 --> 01:12:53,140 -Why don't you let me take care of this? -Okay. 1071 01:13:04,230 --> 01:13:05,400 Ugh. 1072 01:13:05,570 --> 01:13:07,030 He's got a good evil laugh. 1073 01:13:08,530 --> 01:13:09,860 Get along. 1074 01:13:10,030 --> 01:13:11,200 Scotty! 1075 01:13:11,990 --> 01:13:16,200 Scotty. 1076 01:13:16,370 --> 01:13:19,160 Take it down a notch. 1077 01:13:20,420 --> 01:13:21,580 It’s creeping a bit. 1078 01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,670 Let's go. 1079 01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:29,380 We'll need a disguise. 1080 01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:32,430 There's only one uniform. 1081 01:13:33,340 --> 01:13:36,600 One of us has to go on the other one's shoulders. 1082 01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:52,150 Hey there, buddy. How's it going? Good to see you. 1083 01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,280 Yeah. Yeah. Hi. 1084 01:13:56,780 --> 01:13:59,290 How are you? Just getting my sea legs. Sorry about that. 1085 01:13:59,450 --> 01:14:00,790 Hello. You all right? 1086 01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:04,000 Yes, it's a good hat. Very good hat. 1087 01:14:05,210 --> 01:14:07,290 Come on, Mini Me. Let's go. 1088 01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:10,590 Hold it right there, mister. 1089 01:14:13,090 --> 01:14:16,300 Did you really think you could get away with this? 1090 01:14:16,470 --> 01:14:18,640 l did, actually. Yes. 1091 01:14:18,810 --> 01:14:20,890 Every new recruit must have a physical. 1092 01:14:21,850 --> 01:14:23,600 Now get in here, sailor. 1093 01:14:23,770 --> 01:14:26,860 I’m going to need a urine sampIe. 1094 01:14:28,570 --> 01:14:29,820 Okay. 1095 01:14:33,990 --> 01:14:35,740 No. -I don't know. 1096 01:14:36,990 --> 01:14:39,990 Okay, then. Um.... 1097 01:14:44,830 --> 01:14:46,210 Okay. 1098 01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:56,590 Hello. 1099 01:15:03,060 --> 01:15:05,810 And here we go. 1100 01:15:06,310 --> 01:15:07,650 Sorry. 1101 01:15:07,810 --> 01:15:10,270 Right. There you go. Right. 1102 01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,110 Ah, yes. -Terrific. 1103 01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:15,360 Yes, good. Okay. 1104 01:15:15,530 --> 01:15:19,280 All right, sailor, go behind that screen... 1105 01:15:19,490 --> 01:15:21,330 ...and strip down to your skivvies. 1106 01:15:21,490 --> 01:15:24,700 All right, then. I’ll just go to that screen... 1107 01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:28,420 ...which is over there. 1108 01:15:32,130 --> 01:15:33,800 Right behind that screen. 1109 01:15:35,130 --> 01:15:36,470 Next. 1110 01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:40,390 Come on, hurry. The map. 1111 01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:43,060 Okay, what's our plan? 1112 01:15:45,390 --> 01:15:47,810 -I’m going to need a urine sample. -Okay. 1113 01:15:47,980 --> 01:15:49,560 Which way to the main chamber? 1114 01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:11,170 Okay, so.... Oh, sure. 1115 01:16:13,550 --> 01:16:15,340 Oh. 1116 01:16:23,220 --> 01:16:26,520 -Excuse me, doctor? -It’s difficult in public, isn't it? 1117 01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:37,280 Mini Me, our shadows. We're casting a shadow. 1118 01:16:37,450 --> 01:16:39,200 What's wrong, sailor? 1119 01:16:39,410 --> 01:16:41,570 You should check that guy out. 1120 01:16:47,620 --> 01:16:49,040 What the hell's going on here? 1121 01:16:52,460 --> 01:16:53,880 Hands up. 1122 01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:58,800 You heard me. l said, hands up. Both of you. 1123 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,140 Oh. 1124 01:17:11,650 --> 01:17:14,650 -Come with me. -Mini Me, the map. Go. 1125 01:17:16,980 --> 01:17:19,780 Okay. You got me. 1126 01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:32,330 Are you all right, little man? 1127 01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:34,000 Uh-huh. 1128 01:17:36,750 --> 01:17:38,260 Right on. 1129 01:17:55,020 --> 01:17:56,610 Mr. Powers. 1130 01:17:56,770 --> 01:17:58,360 Before l kill you... 1131 01:17:58,530 --> 01:18:01,990 ...perhaps you'd like to see the genius of my plan. 1132 01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:05,660 Key, please. 1133 01:18:09,790 --> 01:18:13,040 What the--? Who? But how? Where? Huh? 1134 01:18:15,420 --> 01:18:16,880 -Looking for this? -Huh? 1135 01:18:19,210 --> 01:18:21,010 -Mini Me? -All right... 1136 01:18:21,170 --> 01:18:24,930 ...everybody drop your guns, because Foxxy Cleopatra's in the sub. 1137 01:18:25,090 --> 01:18:28,220 Smashing, Foxxy. Yeah. 1138 01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:32,560 Unh! -Here, sugar. 1139 01:18:33,190 --> 01:18:34,730 All right, Dr. Evil. 1140 01:18:34,900 --> 01:18:37,650 It’s finally come down to this. 1141 01:18:38,230 --> 01:18:41,860 You, me and a gun. 1142 01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,530 What are you going to do now, Austin? 1143 01:18:48,580 --> 01:18:50,200 Dad? 1144 01:18:50,540 --> 01:18:52,950 What are you doing here? 1145 01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,080 I’ve gotta finish this off once and for all. 1146 01:18:57,750 --> 01:19:00,300 I’m afraid you can't do that. 1147 01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,420 l have to protect my son. 1148 01:19:02,590 --> 01:19:04,590 Dad, I’m fine. 1149 01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:06,930 I’m not talking about you. 1150 01:19:07,890 --> 01:19:11,100 I’m talking about him. 1151 01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:15,520 What? 1152 01:19:15,770 --> 01:19:19,110 Dr. Evil's not your son, l am. 1153 01:19:19,570 --> 01:19:21,110 -You both are. -Huh?! 1154 01:19:23,030 --> 01:19:24,280 What? 1155 01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:29,120 It was our first family holiday together. 1156 01:19:29,620 --> 01:19:31,620 Just as I was finishing a case... 1157 01:19:31,790 --> 01:19:34,950 ...your mother brought the two of you to Belgium. 1158 01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:41,460 I stopped to have a tinkle when the car.... 1159 01:19:51,810 --> 01:19:56,230 But my parents died in a car accident. 1160 01:19:56,390 --> 01:19:58,480 It was no accident. 1161 01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:01,270 It was an assassination attempt. 1162 01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:03,860 I thought only Austin survived. 1163 01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:06,320 I should have told you the truth earlier... 1164 01:20:06,490 --> 01:20:09,320 ...but those Belgians, they made you so damn... 1165 01:20:09,490 --> 01:20:10,780 ...evil. 1166 01:20:11,580 --> 01:20:15,250 And, of course, they share a border with the Dutch. 1167 01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:20,170 Very interesting story, Mr. Powers. 1168 01:20:20,330 --> 01:20:23,630 Of course, I’m gonna have to wait until l see all the facts. 1169 01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:25,420 Daddy. 1170 01:20:27,510 --> 01:20:29,510 Shh, Daddy's here, Dougie. 1171 01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:31,680 -Shh. -Uh, "Dougie"? 1172 01:20:31,850 --> 01:20:33,760 -Dougie? -Dougie. Remember, Dougie? 1173 01:20:33,930 --> 01:20:36,100 Dad, what's going on? 1174 01:20:39,850 --> 01:20:41,690 What are you going to do, Austin? 1175 01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,830 -Austin. -Hmm? 1176 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:58,830 Are you sure you can trust Dr. Evil? 1177 01:21:01,130 --> 01:21:03,040 He ain't heavy... 1178 01:21:03,380 --> 01:21:05,550 ...he's my brother, baby. Yeah. 1179 01:21:08,550 --> 01:21:11,630 l should have told you this so long ago, son. 1180 01:21:12,510 --> 01:21:14,010 -I’m very proud of you. -Unh! 1181 01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:19,520 -Can you forgive me? -l forgive you, Dad. 1182 01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:27,400 Come on. 1183 01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:31,240 Yes. 1184 01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:42,920 My two sons. 1185 01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:47,090 I’m Dougie. I’m Dougie. 1186 01:21:50,380 --> 01:21:52,050 Come on. 1187 01:21:53,090 --> 01:21:55,260 Oh, there you are. 1188 01:21:59,850 --> 01:22:01,350 Oh, come on. 1189 01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,060 l mean, first I’m not evil enough for you. 1190 01:22:05,230 --> 01:22:07,440 And now you're gonna turn good? 1191 01:22:07,610 --> 01:22:09,070 Listen, Scott. 1192 01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:10,860 You can spend your whole life... 1193 01:22:11,030 --> 01:22:14,070 ...trying to win your parents' acceptance, believe me. 1194 01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:18,620 But at the end of the day, you've just gotta do it for yourself, baby. 1195 01:22:18,790 --> 01:22:20,120 That all I’ve gotta do? 1196 01:22:20,290 --> 01:22:21,450 Hey, Austin? Shh! 1197 01:22:22,290 --> 01:22:23,580 What? 1198 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:25,420 l hate you. 1199 01:22:26,290 --> 01:22:28,630 l hate you. I hate you. 1200 01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,920 l don't even know you, but l hate you too. 1201 01:22:33,090 --> 01:22:34,760 And l especially hate you. 1202 01:22:37,810 --> 01:22:39,010 You'll pay. 1203 01:22:39,640 --> 01:22:41,100 You'll all pay. 1204 01:22:45,230 --> 01:22:49,360 I'd like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl. 1205 01:22:49,530 --> 01:22:51,320 Not so fast, smarty-pants. 1206 01:22:52,820 --> 01:22:54,150 Dr. Evil... 1207 01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:59,450 ...you might not want to destroy the world, but l do. 1208 01:23:00,620 --> 01:23:03,410 Preparation H goes ahead as planned. 1209 01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:05,250 I’m going to flood the Earth. 1210 01:23:06,580 --> 01:23:07,750 Think again, Goldmember. 1211 01:23:08,340 --> 01:23:10,670 Ah, Foxxy Cleopatra. 1212 01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:15,590 It’s a shame l had to kill your partner. Too bad for you. 1213 01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:19,680 Too bad for me? How about too bad for you? 1214 01:23:19,850 --> 01:23:21,350 Oh, no. 1215 01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:25,180 No! No! No! 1216 01:23:25,350 --> 01:23:27,770 No.... 1217 01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:29,940 Luckily, I keep a spare. 1218 01:23:37,950 --> 01:23:39,120 Look, everyone. 1219 01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:41,370 My winkie was a key. 1220 01:23:41,540 --> 01:23:43,490 Only a bloody Dutchman. 1221 01:23:43,660 --> 01:23:45,620 -Ha-ha-ha. -You mine, sucker. 1222 01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:50,040 Yes. 1223 01:23:50,210 --> 01:23:51,880 Foxxy, I’m coming. 1224 01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:55,840 Nobody try anything stupid or the shooting begins. 1225 01:23:56,010 --> 01:23:59,890 Austin. Take Dougie. I’ll stay here and be your backup. 1226 01:24:00,050 --> 01:24:05,140 -Dougie, what do we do? -I’m not a real "hands-on evil genius." 1227 01:24:05,310 --> 01:24:07,560 Think. You were always the smart one. 1228 01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:11,810 Uh, l could reroute the output capacitor to the tractor beam... 1229 01:24:11,980 --> 01:24:14,530 ...from one of the conduit boxes up there. 1230 01:24:14,690 --> 01:24:15,860 Come on, let's go. 1231 01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:24,580 Yes. The shooting begins. 1232 01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:29,420 Let me shoot. 1233 01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,210 You know, Dr. Evil... 1234 01:24:36,380 --> 01:24:39,260 -...l used to think you were crazy. -l know. 1235 01:24:39,430 --> 01:24:42,970 But now l can see you're nuts. l thank you. 1236 01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:45,810 Give me the gun. 1237 01:24:48,770 --> 01:24:50,100 Ow! 1238 01:25:00,530 --> 01:25:02,120 Hurry. 1239 01:25:05,620 --> 01:25:07,830 Father. Father. Father. -Ow! 1240 01:25:08,460 --> 01:25:10,790 Father, can you hear me? 1241 01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:12,080 Father. Father. 1242 01:25:16,460 --> 01:25:17,630 Wow! 1243 01:25:22,970 --> 01:25:27,310 Well done, Austin. He saved the world again. 1244 01:25:27,470 --> 01:25:29,430 Hey, yeah. 1245 01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:30,730 Thank you. 1246 01:25:30,890 --> 01:25:32,190 Right on. 1247 01:25:32,350 --> 01:25:35,770 -Austin, you did it. -We did it. 1248 01:25:35,940 --> 01:25:37,980 Yeah, baby. 1249 01:25:39,650 --> 01:25:42,660 No? Just trying it on. 1250 01:25:44,580 --> 01:25:45,910 Goldmember? 1251 01:25:46,490 --> 01:25:47,990 You under arrest, sugar. 1252 01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:53,290 Hey, assholes. 1253 01:25:53,460 --> 01:25:58,000 Do l have time for a last smoke and a pancake, or what? 1254 01:26:02,130 --> 01:26:06,300 I am from Holland. Isn't that weird? 1255 01:26:08,930 --> 01:26:10,060 Yeah. 1256 01:26:10,230 --> 01:26:12,440 Yes, well done. 1257 01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:14,650 Good on you, man. 1258 01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:19,690 Thank you. 1259 01:26:35,460 --> 01:26:36,460 Yes. 1260 01:26:38,590 --> 01:26:40,460 Hey, Powers. 1261 01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:47,010 Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore. 1262 01:26:47,180 --> 01:26:50,680 l went on the Subway diet. You know, just like Jared. 1263 01:26:50,850 --> 01:26:53,060 I've lost 180 pounds. 1264 01:26:53,230 --> 01:26:54,810 Congratulations, baby. 1265 01:26:54,980 --> 01:26:58,650 Thank you. l do have a little bit of excess skin, though. 1266 01:26:58,820 --> 01:27:00,400 Bit of a problem here, yeah. 1267 01:27:00,570 --> 01:27:04,650 And unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina. 1268 01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:09,200 Austin! Austin! -Over here. 1269 01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:13,620 Congratulations. -Thank you. 1270 01:27:13,790 --> 01:27:15,580 Austin, you the boss! -You all right? 1271 01:27:15,750 --> 01:27:18,170 Loved it! -Okay. 1272 01:27:18,630 --> 01:27:19,840 Austin... 1273 01:27:20,590 --> 01:27:23,170 ...thank you for everything. 1274 01:27:31,470 --> 01:27:32,770 Shazam. 1275 01:27:44,990 --> 01:27:48,410 I’m gonna get you, Austin Powers. 1276 01:28:20,230 --> 01:28:22,190 Well, they're using the same ****ing joke... 1277 01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:26,280 ...as they did in the last Austin Powers film-- Movie-- What was it? 1278 01:28:26,450 --> 01:28:28,110 Well, they're using the-- Well-- 1279 01:28:28,280 --> 01:28:31,570 Well, they're using the same joke that they did-- Oh. 1280 01:28:32,660 --> 01:28:34,700 What do l mean? -Ha-ha-ha. 1281 01:28:34,870 --> 01:28:37,500 -Boobs, Ozzy. -Stop, do that again. 1282 01:28:37,660 --> 01:28:39,080 You're starting to laugh. 1283 01:28:40,460 --> 01:28:44,000 Oh, don't start, Kelly, or I'll put you back in the refrigerator. 1284 01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:46,840 One more. 1285 01:28:47,010 --> 01:28:48,720 -l don't like that. -A little serious. 1286 01:28:48,880 --> 01:28:51,090 Don't make that noise, Sharon. I’m getting turned on. 1287 01:28:51,260 --> 01:28:53,640 My testosterone is going dancing. 1288 01:28:54,850 --> 01:28:55,850 Get off me. 1289 01:29:00,940 --> 01:29:03,940 Is--? Is it true what they say about you? 1290 01:29:06,990 --> 01:29:09,950 Kickstand. Really? 1291 01:29:10,110 --> 01:29:13,530 Um, can I give you my cell phone number? 1292 01:29:13,700 --> 01:29:14,870 Please? 1293 01:29:17,290 --> 01:29:20,370 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach.