1 00:02:30,243 --> 00:02:35,203 In spite of all the warnings, she was smoking in bed and fell a sleep. 2 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,714 Bad move! 3 00:02:44,924 --> 00:02:46,983 And the fire begins. 4 00:02:55,835 --> 00:02:58,463 It's show time! 5 00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:04,606 Don't worry, ma'am. I'm here to save you! 6 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:11,875 Keep those people back! This is an emergency! 7 00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:14,886 Don't you dare die on me! 8 00:03:15,989 --> 00:03:18,457 Breathe, damn it, breathe! 9 00:03:21,227 --> 00:03:23,923 She's gonna make it! She's gonna make it! 10 00:03:29,969 --> 00:03:31,402 What the-- 11 00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:17,181 Oh, damn! 12 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:51,842 Though it may be hard to believe that a single biology professor... 13 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:54,478 making in excess of$1 7,500 a year... 14 00:04:54,554 --> 00:04:59,617 could manage to find time to grade your first biology research papers, I did. 15 00:04:59,692 --> 00:05:03,526 As you can see, there was a shocking statistical anomaly. 16 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:05,655 Pretty much all of you got A's. 17 00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:14,503 You deserve to congratulate yourselves. I got a good feeling about this group. 18 00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:19,807 And I think that the parade of A’s will continue to the end of the semester. 19 00:05:19,879 --> 00:05:21,813 So much for the bell curve, right? 20 00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:23,610 Bell curves suck! 21 00:05:25,118 --> 00:05:26,050 Mr. Kane? 22 00:05:26,119 --> 00:05:29,646 Dr. Kane, seems to be a mistake here. 23 00:05:29,722 --> 00:05:33,123 My brother and I each got a C-minus on our reports. 24 00:05:33,192 --> 00:05:35,319 C-minus. Me too. 25 00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:39,388 Allow me to share something with the entire class. 26 00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:44,562 As I was grading papers, I came across two gems, both entitled "Cells Are Bad." 27 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:48,037 And both with just one paragraph... 28 00:05:48,107 --> 00:05:50,473 which I unfortunately committed to memory. 29 00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:52,511 "Cells are bad. 30 00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:55,672 My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve. 31 00:05:55,748 --> 00:05:59,445 And he has to read the same boring magazine every day. 32 00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:01,578 The end." 33 00:06:04,357 --> 00:06:07,986 You're talking about our papers, aren't you, Dr. Kane? 34 00:06:08,061 --> 00:06:10,154 Yes, I am. 35 00:06:10,229 --> 00:06:12,163 Although my standards are not where they used to be... 36 00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:16,258 I still could not bring myself to put an A on top of those beauties. 37 00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:18,837 Hope you understand. 38 00:06:18,938 --> 00:06:21,998 - Sure. - Yeah, okay. 39 00:06:22,108 --> 00:06:26,169 Let's get back to work at the Periodic Table which is not, as some suppose-- 40 00:06:26,245 --> 00:06:28,406 A meteor? Where? 41 00:06:30,616 --> 00:06:33,312 Route 89-A. 42 00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:35,377 Yeah, I got it. 43 00:06:36,756 --> 00:06:39,953 Rest assured I will be there. Okay. Bye. 44 00:06:45,264 --> 00:06:47,664 How's it look, Professor? 45 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:51,435 It's tight. 46 00:06:51,504 --> 00:06:55,531 Really tight, Nadine, but not too tight. 47 00:06:55,641 --> 00:06:58,007 You just don't have the points. I'm sorry. 48 00:06:58,077 --> 00:07:01,012 Don't take it too hard. Geology's a tougher subject than people think. 49 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,571 Are you sure? Couldn’t you check again? 50 00:07:03,649 --> 00:07:06,584 I really need this credit to get into nursing school. 51 00:07:08,688 --> 00:07:10,986 Nursing school? 52 00:07:11,057 --> 00:07:16,393 Wouldn’t you be more comfortable where people's lives weren't dependent on you? 53 00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:21,764 Actually, what I really want to be is Miss Arizona. 54 00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:26,066 But my consultant says nursing school will really impress the judges. 55 00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:30,074 - Makes me look like I help people. - Ready for lunch? 56 00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:34,739 Or have you already eaten? 57 00:07:34,814 --> 00:07:39,080 I was concluding a teacher-student conference with Nadine, Ira. 58 00:07:39,152 --> 00:07:44,317 Harry, your dedication touristy is an inspiration to us all. 59 00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:49,855 Regrettably, I have a prior lunch engagement with Professor Kane. 60 00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:53,592 We'll talk about your extra credit later, okay? Cheer up. 61 00:07:55,968 --> 00:07:57,936 Let me grab my stuff. 62 00:08:03,209 --> 00:08:04,767 Where you taking me? 63 00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:06,811 A meteor hit last night. 64 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,109 Oh, that's what that was. 65 00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:12,640 As the Glen Canyon representative of the U.S. Geological Survey... 66 00:08:12,718 --> 00:08:14,811 I have been assigned to check it out. 67 00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:19,483 I'm taking you in case I actually have to do something scientific. Then we eat. 68 00:08:19,559 --> 00:08:21,789 You're a representative of the U.S.G.S.? 69 00:08:21,861 --> 00:08:23,453 Signed up over the Internet. 70 00:08:24,564 --> 00:08:29,831 Were you on some cheerleader site and accidentally linked to the U.S.G.S.? 71 00:08:29,936 --> 00:08:31,733 Something like that. 72 00:08:31,837 --> 00:08:31,971 Watch it. Take it easy. That's my baby. 73 00:08:31,971 --> 00:08:33,939 Watch it. Take it easy. That's my baby. 74 00:08:34,006 --> 00:08:36,634 There you go. Easy. 75 00:08:38,411 --> 00:08:41,141 Come on, be careful! 76 00:08:41,214 --> 00:08:44,308 Who's gonna pay me for the damage to my goddamn car? 77 00:08:44,383 --> 00:08:47,546 Son, I told you we don't do that. It's force majeure. 78 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:51,818 Force majeure, my ass! That car's a classic '73 Buick Rivera. 79 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,026 Who are you? 80 00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:58,757 Harry Block, United States Geological Survey. 81 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:01,026 This is my secretary, Ira Kane. 82 00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:05,001 We're here to investigate the meteor. If that’s what it is. 83 00:09:05,071 --> 00:09:07,539 Of course it's a damn meteor. It almost blew up my damn car. 84 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,541 I'm still fuzzy on what you were doing here in the middle of the night. 85 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:12,202 With Betty Lou here. 86 00:09:12,278 --> 00:09:15,611 For the thousandth time, I was practicing for my fireman's exam... 87 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:20,675 which started seven minutes ago, so I'd appreciate if you let me go. 88 00:09:20,753 --> 00:09:23,620 You and the blonde found the meteor? 89 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,520 Yeah, I found it. 90 00:09:25,591 --> 00:09:29,152 It bounced my car 200 feet in the air. Can I go? 91 00:09:29,228 --> 00:09:31,389 Bob, get him out of here right now. 92 00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:37,169 Don't leave town. 93 00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:41,171 Sheriff, is this... 94 00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,534 the point of penetration? 95 00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:48,376 Yeah, it punched through into a cavern 80 feet down. 96 00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,476 That's a hole. 97 00:09:56,122 --> 00:10:00,650 Oh, damn it! Next time, you're carrying this case. 98 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,819 You're the U.S.G.S. representative. 99 00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:05,420 That responsibility comes with the badge. 100 00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:08,160 Oh, my God! Look at that. 101 00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:13,638 I believe we've located the target. 102 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:17,106 - Big smile, fellas. - Cheese! 103 00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:19,610 Hold it up now. All right? 104 00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:24,249 It's hot! It's really hot. 105 00:10:24,317 --> 00:10:25,875 I'll hold you up. 106 00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:28,682 More nightstick. 107 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,745 Look at these jackasses. 108 00:10:34,894 --> 00:10:36,987 At ease, gentlemen. 109 00:10:37,063 --> 00:10:38,758 The Feds are here. 110 00:10:38,831 --> 00:10:41,095 Feds? What Feds? 111 00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:44,534 - Who let you down here? - Let's not get combative, Lieutenant. 112 00:10:44,637 --> 00:10:49,165 The U.S.G.S. and local law enforcement have a long history of cooperation. 113 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:52,870 We're here to get some scientific samples, if that’s okay with you guys. 114 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,072 Ah, yeah, sure. 115 00:10:55,147 --> 00:10:59,550 We got all the photographic evidence we need. Carry on. 116 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:02,052 Thank you. Keep up the good work. 117 00:11:17,002 --> 00:11:21,803 Just hit last night and it's got stuff growing on it. 118 00:11:23,175 --> 00:11:24,767 Could be cave moss. 119 00:11:24,844 --> 00:11:27,904 Cave moss after just a few hours? That's peculiar. 120 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,574 Let's get a sample and get out of here. 121 00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:43,527 It's bleeding. 122 00:11:43,596 --> 00:11:46,429 It's a rock that bleeds. 123 00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:51,628 Now that's really peculiar. 124 00:11:52,738 --> 00:11:54,330 Let's bag it. 125 00:12:04,283 --> 00:12:08,845 I don't know if this geological society gig is all it's cracked up to be. 126 00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:13,551 Yeah, it pads out my resume, but am I growing as a person? 127 00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:17,619 Am I growing as a Division Three women's volleyball coach? 128 00:12:20,566 --> 00:12:23,364 Are you gonna do those spectro tests it says to do in the guidebook? 129 00:12:23,469 --> 00:12:27,030 Spectrograph. Yeah, I will do a full spectroscopic analysis. 130 00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:29,107 Your resume will shine. 131 00:12:29,175 --> 00:12:32,406 Good. I got to get to the game. Let me know if you find anything. 132 00:12:37,483 --> 00:12:41,146 Ira? Are you sure you can handle this by your lonesome? 133 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,416 All right, all right. 134 00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:22,788 That's impossible. 135 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,893 Ten base pairs. 136 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,401 No, that can't be. 137 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:11,773 We need this! 138 00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:16,180 Come on, ladies, look alive! 139 00:14:21,687 --> 00:14:26,681 Tina, when Lisa goes for the spike, you've got to cover the line. 140 00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:29,819 Lisa, two hands! Two hands! 141 00:14:29,895 --> 00:14:32,557 God gave you two goddamn hands for a reason! 142 00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:34,622 Big news. The most amazing thing. 143 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:38,227 The meteor samples are teeming with one-celled organisms. 144 00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:40,396 Their metabolic rates are off the charts. 145 00:14:40,506 --> 00:14:43,998 They're dividing at an incredible rate. It's practically exponential. 146 00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:46,839 Their DNA has ten base pairs. 147 00:14:46,912 --> 00:14:49,881 Ten base pairs. That's good to know. Thank you, Ira. 148 00:14:49,949 --> 00:14:53,441 The DNA of all life on Earth has only four base pairs. 149 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:54,952 Come on, ladies! 150 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,453 Look alive! 151 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:02,722 Harry, these are organisms from another world. 152 00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:05,824 They're aliens. 153 00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:12,868 Is the Nobel Prize paid in installments, or in a lump sum like the lottery? 154 00:15:12,938 --> 00:15:15,566 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here. My office. 155 00:15:15,674 --> 00:15:19,838 I'm not getting ahead of myself. I'm concerned about the tax consequences. 156 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:27,277 - Why in here? -Just wanted to be cautious. 157 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:33,685 It's our discovery. 158 00:15:33,759 --> 00:15:35,727 I'm all tingly. 159 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:48,697 I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have? 160 00:15:49,942 --> 00:15:54,379 If we’re gonna be important scientists, you have to act the part. 161 00:15:54,446 --> 00:15:56,539 Why don’t you take a look? 162 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,425 There are multi-cellular organisms in there. 163 00:16:16,135 --> 00:16:19,195 - Yes, I know. - But they weren’t there before. 164 00:16:19,304 --> 00:16:21,795 - So they snuck in. - There was no sneaking in. 165 00:16:23,008 --> 00:16:25,738 It's-- No, it's too amazing. 166 00:16:25,811 --> 00:16:30,009 - What? - It's like they're evolving. 167 00:16:30,082 --> 00:16:32,175 They're growing. 168 00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:35,118 They're growing into more complex organisms. 169 00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,654 It's evolution. 170 00:16:39,391 --> 00:16:42,155 Nobel, here we come. 171 00:16:43,429 --> 00:16:47,525 Yeah, but it's 200 million years' worth in just a few hours. 172 00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:51,101 That's fast. 173 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,939 You have no idea. 174 00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:58,369 Get ready. 175 00:16:58,444 --> 00:17:00,412 On my signal. 176 00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:01,912 Go! 177 00:17:03,515 --> 00:17:05,847 Recruit, wake up. 178 00:17:05,918 --> 00:17:07,351 Wake up! 179 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,279 Go! Go, go, go! 180 00:17:10,355 --> 00:17:13,552 The hose! This thing here! 181 00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:15,058 Sorry. 182 00:17:16,128 --> 00:17:17,993 - Move it! Move it! - Wayne, go! 183 00:17:18,063 --> 00:17:20,554 Go, go! Come on! 184 00:17:27,106 --> 00:17:29,040 Buddy, these things happen. 185 00:17:30,576 --> 00:17:32,908 There's another test in six months. 186 00:17:32,978 --> 00:17:36,539 Six months? I can't wait six months! 187 00:17:36,615 --> 00:17:39,413 At least you still got the pool gig at the country club, right? 188 00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:42,215 Great. Thanks a lot. 189 00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:43,720 Drive careful. 190 00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:47,723 I got it. I got it! 191 00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:49,852 I do this. 192 00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:59,134 Looks like we got visitors. 193 00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:11,681 Class, since this is our first field trip, please obey a few simple rules. 194 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,149 Dirt! 195 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,947 Nice footwear. 196 00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,545 It's perfect for spelunking. Don't touch anything. 197 00:18:17,623 --> 00:18:20,285 Don't move anything. Don't even breathe unless we tell you to. 198 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,452 And wear your protective gloves at all times. 199 00:18:22,528 --> 00:18:25,588 - Why do we have to do this? - Firsthand field experience. 200 00:18:25,664 --> 00:18:27,757 The very meat and potatoes of geology. 201 00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:30,495 - Will this be on the final? - Yes! 202 00:18:30,602 --> 00:18:32,832 - Officer, nice to see you again. - Professor, what's up? 203 00:18:32,938 --> 00:18:36,704 - We came to pick up the rock. - Pick it up? What? 204 00:18:36,775 --> 00:18:37,901 Yeah, we-- 205 00:18:37,976 --> 00:18:41,673 Just orders from the U.S.G.S. They want it under controlled conditions. 206 00:18:41,747 --> 00:18:43,612 It's very technical. 207 00:18:43,682 --> 00:18:48,415 Oh, technical stuff. It's technical. Okay, go right ahead. 208 00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:50,921 - We're gonna haul it out of here. - Sure, go ahead. 209 00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:53,958 Deke and Danny, remember what we talked about, right? 210 00:18:54,026 --> 00:18:57,723 You are in charge of the hoisting. Get the winch up to the hole. Understand? 211 00:18:57,796 --> 00:19:02,130 Fellas, stop nodding adjust stare at me for a second, okay? 212 00:19:02,201 --> 00:19:04,192 Focus. 213 00:19:04,303 --> 00:19:06,271 You understand what I want you to do? 214 00:19:06,338 --> 00:19:08,203 - Yeah, we got you. - Yeah. 215 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,332 Go do it. 216 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:24,187 Ira, I'm picking up a heavy creepy vibe here. 217 00:19:24,256 --> 00:19:26,281 A lot has changed. 218 00:19:29,361 --> 00:19:33,798 Class, I know these look like mushrooms, but refrain from eating them. 219 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:40,396 Oh, it smells disgusting. 220 00:19:40,505 --> 00:19:44,498 Nadine, sometimes science stinks. 221 00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:46,578 It's the game we play, baby. 222 00:19:50,249 --> 00:19:52,376 Rotten egg smell. 223 00:19:52,451 --> 00:19:54,976 - Hydrogen sulfide, right? - Yeah, and ammonia and methane. 224 00:19:55,053 --> 00:19:57,146 It's like it's converting the atmosphere. 225 00:19:57,222 --> 00:20:00,680 Look at all this rudimentary plant life. It's amazing. 226 00:20:02,794 --> 00:20:07,561 I don't want to get all girly, but I feel something wiggling around my toes. 227 00:20:12,304 --> 00:20:14,534 The ground does seem to be moving. 228 00:20:23,482 --> 00:20:25,609 Whoa! 229 00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:27,914 Flatworms. 230 00:20:27,986 --> 00:20:29,078 Millions! 231 00:20:29,154 --> 00:20:31,213 Yuck! 232 00:20:32,791 --> 00:20:34,224 Oh, God! 233 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,018 Barely 1 8 hours and we already have flatworms. 234 00:20:38,096 --> 00:20:40,291 - Look, look! - Hey, there they are! 235 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,230 - Hi, Dr. Kane. - Hey, Dr. K.! 236 00:20:45,237 --> 00:20:47,671 - Man, I almost went down! - Awesome. 237 00:20:50,275 --> 00:20:52,903 Come here, little buddy. 238 00:20:56,682 --> 00:20:59,378 I'm not gonna hurt you. 239 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,620 You didn't hurt it. You killed it. 240 00:21:07,693 --> 00:21:10,127 The oxygen must have killed it. 241 00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:12,629 It must need its own atmosphere to live. 242 00:21:12,698 --> 00:21:14,256 Yeah. 243 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:18,394 Grab a specimen jar. We'll try to scoop some atmosphere in there with them. 244 00:21:18,503 --> 00:21:19,492 Yeah, right. 245 00:21:20,839 --> 00:21:25,071 It took us two billion years to do what they did in just a couple of days. 246 00:21:25,143 --> 00:21:29,136 Yeah. Those little germs are the embodiment of the American dream. 247 00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:33,081 I'm so sorry to interrupt, Professor Block. 248 00:21:33,151 --> 00:21:36,780 But I was wondering if I’m correct in assuming that that field trip... 249 00:21:36,855 --> 00:21:39,983 fulfilled any of my missing credit requirements. 250 00:21:40,058 --> 00:21:43,391 You know, Nadine, you are a very, very smart girl. 251 00:21:43,462 --> 00:21:45,453 But if you would just focus-- 252 00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:51,435 Professor... 253 00:21:51,536 --> 00:21:54,096 the little wiggly worm things are breaking. 254 00:21:55,307 --> 00:21:56,774 Look. 255 00:22:01,313 --> 00:22:04,441 He's not breaking. It's splitting. 256 00:22:04,516 --> 00:22:06,882 It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce. 257 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:08,214 No sex? 258 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:11,016 No time for sex. 259 00:22:12,024 --> 00:22:12,991 Bummer! 260 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,817 Little guys are splitting again. 261 00:22:15,894 --> 00:22:21,332 Put it away. Look, we call no one, tell no one. This is our secret, right? 262 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,233 What about the government? Isn't this the kind of thing they get involved in? 263 00:22:24,336 --> 00:22:27,203 No government. I know those people. Absolutely not. 264 00:22:27,272 --> 00:22:29,706 You do? 265 00:22:29,775 --> 00:22:32,938 This is our discovery, and we have to maintain absolute control. 266 00:22:33,011 --> 00:22:37,072 We have to do more research and check our findings. Document everything. 267 00:22:45,090 --> 00:22:47,251 Wayne? 268 00:22:48,693 --> 00:22:50,024 What's this? 269 00:22:51,229 --> 00:22:55,359 That would be an all-cotton towel, sir. I believe it's a Field crest. 270 00:22:55,434 --> 00:22:58,892 It's a damp towel. Why is a damp towel on my chaise? 271 00:23:00,038 --> 00:23:02,632 Okay, let me take care of this for you. 272 00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:08,202 You should, because you’re pool manager, and you know what to do about it. 273 00:23:19,925 --> 00:23:22,416 What the hell? 274 00:23:32,971 --> 00:23:34,962 Where did you guys come from? 275 00:23:50,755 --> 00:23:52,882 You're dead now. 276 00:24:05,871 --> 00:24:07,270 Whoa! What the-- 277 00:24:20,051 --> 00:24:22,110 Harry, when I checked the samples this morning... 278 00:24:22,187 --> 00:24:24,382 I found three different subspecies. 279 00:24:24,456 --> 00:24:27,948 These things are evolving so quickly. 280 00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:32,292 God knows what we'll find when we get back to the-- Whoa! 281 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,992 Please tell me there's an air show today. 282 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,239 Shit! 283 00:24:53,685 --> 00:24:55,084 Can I help you? 284 00:24:55,153 --> 00:24:58,088 Yeah. Harry Block, Ira Kane. United States Geological Society. 285 00:24:58,156 --> 00:25:01,125 We're doing some important research. This is our site. 286 00:25:02,827 --> 00:25:05,227 I'm sorry. Not anymore. You're not on the list. 287 00:25:05,297 --> 00:25:08,494 What do you mean? We come here all the time. 288 00:25:08,567 --> 00:25:11,058 This is not a nightclub. Why don’t you take it somewhere else? 289 00:25:11,169 --> 00:25:13,637 I know my Constitutional rights! 290 00:25:13,738 --> 00:25:15,000 Harry! 291 00:25:15,073 --> 00:25:19,305 Look, maybe you can call your superior. We can have a word with him. 292 00:25:22,414 --> 00:25:24,575 I have a Harry Block and Ira Kane claiming-- 293 00:25:24,649 --> 00:25:27,914 Punk. What? 294 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,954 You got to know how to talk to the white man. 295 00:25:30,021 --> 00:25:32,990 - White man gonna get his ass whupped. - Very sensitive. Can't be yelled at. 296 00:25:33,058 --> 00:25:35,856 - Did you say Kane? - Yeah. 297 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:37,758 - The Ira Kane? - Yeah. 298 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:41,697 I've been looking forward to this for a long time. You bastard! 299 00:25:43,268 --> 00:25:44,496 Hey, hey, hey! 300 00:25:45,570 --> 00:25:47,037 Get his gun! 301 00:25:47,105 --> 00:25:49,539 Take it easy. They're good. Up! 302 00:25:49,608 --> 00:25:52,270 You're responsible for the worst month of my life! 303 00:25:53,745 --> 00:25:56,236 - What the hell was that about? - I don't know. 304 00:25:56,314 --> 00:26:00,045 Drive straight down to the command tent. They're expecting you. 305 00:26:00,118 --> 00:26:02,052 - Go. - Thank you. 306 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:05,214 That's the guy that had me in diapers for over a month! 307 00:26:36,488 --> 00:26:39,582 - Men, General Woodman's expecting you. - Russell Woodman? 308 00:26:46,531 --> 00:26:48,465 What an unexpected surprise. 309 00:26:48,533 --> 00:26:51,161 For me too. I didn't realize we were on a hugging basis. 310 00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:54,595 The same old Ira Kane. And you must be-- 311 00:26:54,706 --> 00:26:58,608 Harry Block, this is General Russell Woodman, head of U.S. Army Research. 312 00:26:58,677 --> 00:27:00,872 - General. - Harry. 313 00:27:00,945 --> 00:27:03,106 You two know each other? 314 00:27:03,181 --> 00:27:05,206 Ira used to work for me. Right, Ira? 315 00:27:05,283 --> 00:27:07,774 I worked with you, actually. 316 00:27:07,852 --> 00:27:10,753 You used to work in army research in the Pentagon? 317 00:27:10,822 --> 00:27:11,914 Yeah. 318 00:27:11,990 --> 00:27:14,049 And all this time I thought you were just a school teacher. 319 00:27:14,125 --> 00:27:16,787 No. How did you find out about this? 320 00:27:16,861 --> 00:27:21,127 You leave the Pentagon, you don't call me, you don't write. 321 00:27:21,199 --> 00:27:23,190 We like to keep tabs on our prodigal sons. 322 00:27:23,268 --> 00:27:25,532 So you tapped my phone? 323 00:27:25,637 --> 00:27:27,696 No. We're not the KGB. 324 00:27:27,806 --> 00:27:30,274 Actually, we've been monitoring your computer. 325 00:27:32,043 --> 00:27:34,273 His computer? 326 00:27:34,346 --> 00:27:37,372 All those girls in the photos are over 1 8. 327 00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:39,542 Yes, I'm sure. 328 00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:41,278 - I should've figured. - Yes. 329 00:27:41,353 --> 00:27:44,550 And you should've known better than to try to keep something this big from us. 330 00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:47,022 And the CDC. 331 00:27:47,092 --> 00:27:52,291 Just in time. Ira, this is Allison Reed, senior researcher in epidemiology... 332 00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:53,991 at the CDC. 333 00:27:54,065 --> 00:27:55,692 Nice underwear. 334 00:27:55,767 --> 00:27:57,997 Garter belt? At a day function? 335 00:27:58,103 --> 00:28:00,401 I can do it. Thank you very much. 336 00:28:00,472 --> 00:28:02,997 I'm okay. Dr. Kane. 337 00:28:03,108 --> 00:28:06,669 I'd heard about your recklessness, but you are way out of line. 338 00:28:06,745 --> 00:28:09,578 Do you realize how dangerous this situation could have become? 339 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,581 It's nice to meet you too, ma'am. 340 00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:16,143 No need to play the blame game, Allison. No harm, no foul. 341 00:28:16,221 --> 00:28:20,385 We're all very appreciative of Dr. Kane and Mr. Black's discovery. 342 00:28:20,458 --> 00:28:22,221 Block. 343 00:28:22,293 --> 00:28:24,227 Block. I'm sorry. 344 00:28:24,295 --> 00:28:27,025 The confirmation of the existence of life outside this planet-- 345 00:28:27,098 --> 00:28:29,328 Would be the greatest scientific discovery of our time. 346 00:28:29,401 --> 00:28:31,369 Yes, actually. 347 00:28:31,436 --> 00:28:32,960 Yes, it would. 348 00:28:33,071 --> 00:28:36,268 And you have my word that you’ll be kept in the loop from this point forward. 349 00:28:36,341 --> 00:28:37,706 You son of a bitch. 350 00:28:37,776 --> 00:28:40,904 What do you mean, kept in the loop? General, we are the loop. 351 00:28:40,979 --> 00:28:43,447 We won't cut you out, but we do need to take control. 352 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:46,973 We're following protocol. You remember protocol, don’t you? 353 00:28:47,051 --> 00:28:49,884 Yeah, I got some protocol right here for you, Russell. Come and get it. 354 00:28:49,954 --> 00:28:54,721 Look, this research must continue under careful government control and scrutiny. 355 00:28:54,793 --> 00:28:56,385 We secured the area. 356 00:28:56,461 --> 00:29:00,625 We're constructing an air lock into the cavern and a field research facility. 357 00:29:00,698 --> 00:29:04,065 So there's not a lot for the science department... 358 00:29:04,169 --> 00:29:07,605 of Glen Canyon Community College to do here. 359 00:29:07,672 --> 00:29:10,368 Did you catch that condescending tone when he says Glen Canyon Community-- 360 00:29:10,442 --> 00:29:12,569 We are following well-established federal guidelines-- 361 00:29:12,644 --> 00:29:15,272 Ma'am, please. Russell, don't pull this crap. We deserve to be here. 362 00:29:15,346 --> 00:29:17,507 You deserve to be here? 363 00:29:18,750 --> 00:29:23,710 You're lucky anybody's ever let you near a science laboratory again, Ira. 364 00:29:23,788 --> 00:29:27,121 You're a disgrace, and a dangerous one at that. 365 00:29:30,195 --> 00:29:33,460 Lieutenant, show these men out. 366 00:29:33,531 --> 00:29:35,465 This is horseshit. 367 00:29:36,601 --> 00:29:39,069 It's not over. 368 00:29:39,137 --> 00:29:41,196 You're in for a fight, Russell. 369 00:29:42,273 --> 00:29:44,468 Would you stop following me, please? 370 00:29:44,542 --> 00:29:46,339 Thank you. 371 00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:49,209 We're not gonna bend over and take this! 372 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,613 Fruit basket for Russell Woodman! 373 00:29:52,684 --> 00:29:54,618 Happy holidays, General! 374 00:29:58,156 --> 00:29:59,248 Cute. 375 00:30:00,825 --> 00:30:05,285 Dr. Kane, are you asking me to bar the federal government... 376 00:30:05,363 --> 00:30:08,924 from involvement in a discovery as significant as this? 377 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,333 No, no. We're asking you to make sure that the local scientists... 378 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:16,203 who actually made the discovery continue to play a significant role. 379 00:30:16,274 --> 00:30:18,504 They kept us out for almost two weeks. 380 00:30:18,576 --> 00:30:22,273 We put our lives on the line to find these little guys, Your Majesty. 381 00:30:22,347 --> 00:30:25,043 We just want to be there for them as they grow up. 382 00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:30,281 We were the first team at the site and the initial testing was done in our lab. 383 00:30:30,355 --> 00:30:34,291 The facilities at Glen Canyon Community College are a joke, sir. 384 00:30:35,393 --> 00:30:37,725 They weren’t a joke when I went there, General. 385 00:30:40,398 --> 00:30:44,391 Your Honor, if the court would allow me to depose Dr. Kane? 386 00:30:44,502 --> 00:30:46,663 Depose me? 387 00:30:46,771 --> 00:30:49,365 We think your past is very relevant, Dr. Kane. 388 00:30:49,474 --> 00:30:53,376 These issues speak directly to his competence as a scientist. 389 00:30:54,445 --> 00:30:57,505 Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher... 390 00:30:57,582 --> 00:31:00,813 at USAMRI D from '94 to '97, were you not? 391 00:31:00,885 --> 00:31:02,716 Yes, that's correct. 392 00:31:02,787 --> 00:31:07,724 And you were summarily dismissed in the summer of 1 997. Any idea why? 393 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,588 My services were no long required? 394 00:31:11,663 --> 00:31:14,097 Uh-huh. So in your opinion... 395 00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:16,929 your firing had nothing to do with an experimental anthrax vaccine... 396 00:31:17,035 --> 00:31:21,904 you developed and gave to nearly 140,000 U.S. soldiers in May softhearted? 397 00:31:22,941 --> 00:31:26,399 I see where you’re going with this. 398 00:31:26,511 --> 00:31:30,038 It may have been a factor. You'd have to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 399 00:31:30,114 --> 00:31:32,446 I'll make a note to do that. But for now... 400 00:31:32,517 --> 00:31:36,647 can you tell me what happened to the soldiers that were inoculated? 401 00:31:36,721 --> 00:31:40,521 Well, none of them got anthrax, if that’s what you’re asking. 402 00:31:42,126 --> 00:31:44,094 What did they get? 403 00:31:44,162 --> 00:31:46,960 As with any new vaccine... 404 00:31:47,031 --> 00:31:50,091 there were certain side effects associated with it. 405 00:31:50,201 --> 00:31:51,793 Could you be more specific? 406 00:31:51,903 --> 00:31:54,269 It was a wide range of things. It's very technical. 407 00:31:54,339 --> 00:31:56,534 I'd hate to waste the court's time getting into it. 408 00:31:56,608 --> 00:31:59,338 Humor me. 409 00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:02,709 Some debilitating stomach cramps. 410 00:32:02,780 --> 00:32:05,044 Severe diarrhea. 411 00:32:05,116 --> 00:32:07,209 Memory loss. 412 00:32:07,285 --> 00:32:10,982 Yes, go on. Any more symptoms? 413 00:32:12,423 --> 00:32:16,917 Partial facial paralysis, temporary blindness, drooling... 414 00:32:16,995 --> 00:32:22,627 bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrollable fatulence. 415 00:32:22,734 --> 00:32:24,497 I think that's it. 416 00:32:25,970 --> 00:32:27,733 One more question. 417 00:32:27,839 --> 00:32:31,275 Do you happen to remember what the soldiers called this illness, Dr. Kane? 418 00:32:37,982 --> 00:32:40,280 Yeah, they called it the Kane Madness. 419 00:32:45,757 --> 00:32:47,691 Keep your head up. 420 00:32:48,793 --> 00:32:51,489 You know she wanted to give you some, right? 421 00:32:51,562 --> 00:32:54,190 Were you even in that courtroom? 422 00:32:54,265 --> 00:32:57,462 Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby. 423 00:33:07,078 --> 00:33:09,171 Oh, we've been hit. 424 00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:11,943 Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed. 425 00:33:16,688 --> 00:33:19,486 - Empty. - This is very, very bad. 426 00:33:19,557 --> 00:33:20,990 Damn it! 427 00:33:24,996 --> 00:33:27,157 I don't care who they are. Stealing is stealing. 428 00:33:29,467 --> 00:33:31,401 Perfect. 429 00:33:36,407 --> 00:33:40,503 They took the rock, the samples, all the little wormy critters. 430 00:33:40,578 --> 00:33:44,207 All the data's gone. The JPEG files, the DNA sequences. They cleaned us out. 431 00:33:44,282 --> 00:33:47,046 - I'm calling the cops. - The cops? 432 00:33:47,118 --> 00:33:49,143 They are the cops! 433 00:33:51,255 --> 00:33:52,779 Then what? 434 00:34:06,137 --> 00:34:10,597 Let me ask you, how come you get to be a colonel and I'm just a private? 435 00:34:10,708 --> 00:34:12,175 I was a colonel. 436 00:34:12,276 --> 00:34:15,143 And you obviously served your country with distinction. 437 00:34:15,213 --> 00:34:19,479 Consider yourself lucky. The penalty for impersonating an officer is prison. 438 00:34:19,550 --> 00:34:22,917 Yeah, maybe for you, white boy. Me, they hang. 439 00:34:23,988 --> 00:34:25,421 Colonels first. 440 00:34:27,759 --> 00:34:30,922 I was at it for 12 hours. 441 00:34:30,995 --> 00:34:33,657 My toes were starting to hurt I was standing so long. 442 00:34:37,935 --> 00:34:39,368 Stop it. 443 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:46,708 -Just act like you belong. - Don't worry, I got this. 444 00:34:48,212 --> 00:34:50,373 - Pick up that butt, soldier. - Sorry, sir. 445 00:34:50,448 --> 00:34:52,678 - And tuck that shirt in. - Yes, sir. 446 00:34:54,418 --> 00:34:57,910 Get the door. 447 00:34:57,989 --> 00:34:59,684 Thank you, Private. 448 00:34:59,757 --> 00:35:01,691 Don't get used to this. 449 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,311 Oh-oh, look at that. 450 00:35:36,994 --> 00:35:39,087 Enjoy your lunch, gentlemen. 451 00:35:40,264 --> 00:35:42,391 Okay, I'll be right back. 452 00:35:45,970 --> 00:35:48,131 Your girlfriend, 1 1 :00. 453 00:35:51,242 --> 00:35:52,675 Darn it. 454 00:35:53,744 --> 00:35:56,008 That woman's a menace. 455 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,481 Testing, one, two. One, two. One, one, one, two. 456 00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:03,509 This is D.J. Harry Block here, and I'm an Aquarius. 457 00:36:03,588 --> 00:36:05,715 Will you stop? I can hear you. 458 00:36:05,790 --> 00:36:09,453 Don’t you snap at me, unless you want an angry Solid Gold dancer on your hands. 459 00:36:11,195 --> 00:36:12,628 Lieutenant? 460 00:36:14,932 --> 00:36:16,365 Yeah? 461 00:36:16,434 --> 00:36:18,425 Who's that? 462 00:36:19,871 --> 00:36:21,805 I don't know. 463 00:36:23,608 --> 00:36:25,576 I don't have anything on my schedule. 464 00:36:27,011 --> 00:36:31,038 Maybe it's the guys from sector 1 2 doing a nocturnal specimen run. 465 00:36:31,115 --> 00:36:33,276 - You know how those guys are. - Oh, yeah. 466 00:36:39,757 --> 00:36:41,918 This place has changed. 467 00:37:01,846 --> 00:37:03,871 Can you believe this? 468 00:37:03,948 --> 00:37:05,882 Look at that. 469 00:37:20,698 --> 00:37:23,166 Our little babies are growing up. 470 00:37:30,074 --> 00:37:33,100 Three weeks, it's already like a rain forest in here. 471 00:37:36,213 --> 00:37:38,909 Looks like the kitchen from my first apartment. 472 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:48,685 Harry, check that guy out. 473 00:37:56,801 --> 00:37:58,962 Is it coming or going? 474 00:38:05,843 --> 00:38:08,038 That tree just ate it. 475 00:38:08,112 --> 00:38:10,376 Everything here seems to be food for something else. 476 00:38:10,448 --> 00:38:13,884 - So stay off the menu, huh? - You got that right. 477 00:38:20,157 --> 00:38:22,557 Ira, come here, look at these little things. 478 00:38:28,666 --> 00:38:31,829 Cool. Hey, snag one. 479 00:38:32,937 --> 00:38:36,236 - Snag one? - Snag one and put him in the bucket. 480 00:38:36,307 --> 00:38:40,403 I seen this movie. The black dude dies first. You snag it. 481 00:38:40,478 --> 00:38:42,412 Don't be scared. We came for a specimen, now snag one. 482 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,381 He's not gonna hurt you. He's turned the other way. 483 00:38:45,449 --> 00:38:46,973 He's eating. 484 00:38:48,052 --> 00:38:51,852 Come on, my little red lobster. 485 00:38:51,922 --> 00:38:55,881 Come on, my sexy little crustacean. 486 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,359 Come on. 487 00:38:57,428 --> 00:38:58,918 Whoa! 488 00:39:04,568 --> 00:39:08,060 Ira, look at that backside. 489 00:39:08,172 --> 00:39:10,231 Theater in the round. 490 00:39:10,341 --> 00:39:12,775 That's the kind of trunk space you want in a late model car. 491 00:39:13,677 --> 00:39:15,611 Who does that remind you of? 492 00:39:15,679 --> 00:39:18,170 I have no idea what you’re talking about. 493 00:39:18,249 --> 00:39:20,740 She's been throwing it at you enough. 494 00:39:20,818 --> 00:39:22,479 - Dr. Reed? - Bull's-eye. 495 00:39:22,553 --> 00:39:26,853 Excuse me, Dr. Reed? Did you authorize a walk-through? 496 00:39:26,924 --> 00:39:29,324 Nope. Why? 497 00:39:29,393 --> 00:39:33,523 You should probably take a look at something. Here. 498 00:39:36,801 --> 00:39:40,567 You'd like to roast that rump. You'd like to butter that mother. 499 00:39:40,671 --> 00:39:43,731 That is an ice image. And I appreciate your assumption... 500 00:39:43,841 --> 00:39:46,776 that there is an actual sexual human being... 501 00:39:46,844 --> 00:39:50,507 underneath all Dr. Reed's deep-seated neuroses. 502 00:39:50,581 --> 00:39:52,981 - But I don't think so. - What? 503 00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:56,577 I think she is a humorless ice queen. 504 00:39:56,654 --> 00:39:58,986 Ira, that's just a cover. 505 00:39:59,056 --> 00:40:02,184 Don't you know that? All she needs is a good humping. 506 00:40:02,259 --> 00:40:05,524 Oh, Ira. Ira! 507 00:40:07,031 --> 00:40:09,556 Harry, stop that. We got to get a piece of the asteroid like we came for. 508 00:40:09,633 --> 00:40:11,760 And cut that out. It disturbs me. 509 00:40:11,869 --> 00:40:13,803 - Ira! - Don’t do that behind my back. 510 00:40:13,871 --> 00:40:18,171 - I'm not doing it. I'm just walking. - Cut it out. 511 00:40:24,849 --> 00:40:26,783 Let's bag that and get the hell out of here. 512 00:40:26,851 --> 00:40:28,785 I'm ready when you are, Colonel. 513 00:40:28,853 --> 00:40:30,787 This disco suit is making me chafe. 514 00:40:34,158 --> 00:40:35,682 Shoo, fy. 515 00:40:37,628 --> 00:40:39,061 Hold it right there. 516 00:40:41,765 --> 00:40:44,131 Dr. Reed, so nice to see you again. We were just leaving. 517 00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:47,466 You're in violation of the judge's orders. I could have you arrested. 518 00:40:47,571 --> 00:40:50,199 Want to talk about violations? What about our lab? 519 00:40:50,307 --> 00:40:52,867 - Got any Raid? - What are you talking about? 520 00:40:52,943 --> 00:40:56,174 You stole our computer hard drive, samples, files. Everything. 521 00:40:56,247 --> 00:41:00,047 - I didn't steal anything. - Your buddies there cleaned us out. 522 00:41:00,117 --> 00:41:04,349 Let's be honest. You've been trying to grab credit on our discovery. 523 00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:07,686 All we're trying to do is take back a piece of what’s rightfully ours. 524 00:41:07,758 --> 00:41:10,693 Credit has nothing to do with this. I'm concerned about public safety. 525 00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:13,730 - Is this true? Are you aware of this? - No. 526 00:41:13,797 --> 00:41:15,389 Something's in my suit. 527 00:41:15,466 --> 00:41:19,163 You're not gonna believe him. He openly admitted to hacking into our computer. 528 00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:20,737 Harry, what? 529 00:41:20,838 --> 00:41:22,738 There's something in my suit! 530 00:41:22,806 --> 00:41:25,468 It's impossible. It's sealed! 531 00:41:25,543 --> 00:41:28,842 The fy! There's a fy in my suit! 532 00:41:30,147 --> 00:41:34,208 - Don't take off your helmet! Oxygen! - It'll kill it. 533 00:41:38,122 --> 00:41:41,216 Do you see it? Look, look. Do you see it? 534 00:41:41,292 --> 00:41:43,260 - No. - No? 535 00:41:43,327 --> 00:41:45,522 - You're all right. Who's the man? - You're the man. 536 00:41:45,596 --> 00:41:48,895 - No, you're the man. - I'm the man. Okay. 537 00:41:48,966 --> 00:41:50,399 Oh, God. 538 00:41:54,905 --> 00:41:56,429 It's in me! 539 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:04,936 For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me! 540 00:42:05,015 --> 00:42:07,916 You're gonna be okay. Cut him open. Let's get this thing. 541 00:42:07,985 --> 00:42:10,920 Cut me open? There goes your Christmas gift,Judas! 542 00:42:10,988 --> 00:42:13,616 It's moving down his leg. 543 00:42:13,691 --> 00:42:15,818 - What do we do? - Maybe amputate. 544 00:42:15,893 --> 00:42:18,657 Whoa, don't take the leg! Don't let 'em take my leg. 545 00:42:18,729 --> 00:42:21,425 Is there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete. 546 00:42:21,498 --> 00:42:22,658 Doctor, look. 547 00:42:24,835 --> 00:42:26,769 It's heading for his testicles. 548 00:42:26,837 --> 00:42:29,670 Take it! Take the leg! 549 00:42:29,707 --> 00:42:33,609 Wait, wait! It's going the other way. 550 00:42:33,677 --> 00:42:36,669 Give me some forceps. I might be able to catch it in his colon. 551 00:42:36,747 --> 00:42:38,908 - You’re going in? - Rectally. 552 00:42:38,983 --> 00:42:41,679 - Ohh! - I'll get the lubricant. 553 00:42:41,752 --> 00:42:44,277 - No time for lubricant. - There's always time for lubricant! 554 00:42:44,355 --> 00:42:46,289 - Flip him! - Go. 555 00:42:46,357 --> 00:42:48,587 Okay, here we go. 556 00:42:48,659 --> 00:42:51,059 - Try to relax. - Everything's gonna be okay. 557 00:42:51,128 --> 00:42:53,653 I'll shove this gurney up your ass! See if you relax, Ira. 558 00:42:53,731 --> 00:42:57,462 - Cheek spreader. - All right. I'm going in. 559 00:43:00,170 --> 00:43:01,637 Don't clench! 560 00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:03,434 You're so brave. 561 00:43:03,507 --> 00:43:05,441 - A little more. - No more! 562 00:43:05,509 --> 00:43:09,309 - A little deeper. - No deeper! 563 00:43:09,380 --> 00:43:11,610 - Squeeze my hand. Squeeze it! - Almost there. 564 00:43:11,682 --> 00:43:13,149 Open up. Open up! 565 00:43:13,217 --> 00:43:15,617 - Breathe. Breathe. - I'm breathing! 566 00:43:15,686 --> 00:43:18,314 - Almost there. - You're there! 567 00:43:20,924 --> 00:43:23,893 It's over, it's over. 568 00:43:25,863 --> 00:43:27,353 It just died. 569 00:43:27,431 --> 00:43:30,696 Don’t you ever do that again! 570 00:43:34,605 --> 00:43:37,733 The size of that thing inside you! It was like this! You took it like a man. 571 00:43:37,808 --> 00:43:41,039 You're all right. You did great. Can I get you anything? 572 00:43:42,046 --> 00:43:45,311 Ice cream. I'd like an ice cream, please. 573 00:43:45,382 --> 00:43:49,216 - What favor? - It doesn't matter. It's for my ass. 574 00:44:02,633 --> 00:44:07,036 Man! Now I'm a Hawaiian warrior? 575 00:44:07,104 --> 00:44:12,201 I'm thinking seriously about moving. Maybe to California, start over. 576 00:44:12,276 --> 00:44:15,712 Because of the fireman thing? Big deal. You funked out. 577 00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:19,579 You know how many times I've funked in my life? A ton. 578 00:44:19,650 --> 00:44:22,813 Hey, pool boy, you watering down the Mai tais? 579 00:44:22,886 --> 00:44:26,481 No, sir. But let me fix you something special. 580 00:44:28,225 --> 00:44:31,956 'Cause you're nothing but a big, fat monkey turd. 581 00:44:32,029 --> 00:44:33,394 Excuse me? 582 00:44:33,464 --> 00:44:35,125 What? 583 00:44:35,199 --> 00:44:37,190 Drink's almost ready. 584 00:44:39,570 --> 00:44:42,061 Here you go. That should tide you over. 585 00:44:56,487 --> 00:45:00,583 And don't forget, folks That's what you get, folks 586 00:45:00,657 --> 00:45:03,182 For making whoopee 587 00:45:12,436 --> 00:45:14,961 Oh, damn it! 588 00:45:16,607 --> 00:45:18,541 That's gonna stain. 589 00:45:37,227 --> 00:45:40,924 Barry! Barry, where are you? 590 00:45:40,998 --> 00:45:44,263 I can't see you. Where are you? 591 00:45:44,368 --> 00:45:46,996 I'm down here, my pet, by the water. 592 00:46:14,665 --> 00:46:18,226 Something just ate Barry Cartwright! 593 00:46:20,437 --> 00:46:22,371 That's too bad. 594 00:46:28,645 --> 00:46:32,376 I don't get it. How does someone with your background... 595 00:46:32,449 --> 00:46:36,044 credentials and talent end up... 596 00:46:37,721 --> 00:46:39,154 like you? 597 00:46:40,424 --> 00:46:41,516 Thank you. 598 00:46:41,592 --> 00:46:44,186 Your partner could have died. What were you thinking? 599 00:46:45,362 --> 00:46:47,330 I was desperate. 600 00:46:47,397 --> 00:46:51,060 I've been exiled out here for 5 years, watching the world pass me by... 601 00:46:51,168 --> 00:46:54,103 and this amazing discovery falls into my lap. 602 00:46:54,171 --> 00:46:56,366 I look at it as my ticket out of here. 603 00:46:59,810 --> 00:47:02,574 But I don't suppose you would understand that. 604 00:47:03,614 --> 00:47:08,711 No, how could I? I'm a humorless ice maiden in need of a good humping. 605 00:47:11,822 --> 00:47:15,417 - You heard that, huh? - Loud and clear. 606 00:47:15,492 --> 00:47:19,792 Don't think you know so much about me. You don't. 607 00:47:19,863 --> 00:47:21,854 I'm sure I don't. 608 00:47:24,468 --> 00:47:27,028 Thank you for not calling the cops. 609 00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:38,804 Oh, be careful! 610 00:47:38,882 --> 00:47:40,816 Stop being such a baby. 611 00:47:44,388 --> 00:47:46,686 I've seen that car before. 612 00:47:48,358 --> 00:47:50,553 No more bran for me. 613 00:47:52,362 --> 00:47:52,396 Hey, girls. 614 00:47:52,396 --> 00:47:54,125 Hey, girls. 615 00:48:00,437 --> 00:48:03,304 Stop. Cut it out. 616 00:48:04,575 --> 00:48:06,770 Hey, it's the meteor guy. 617 00:48:06,843 --> 00:48:08,936 What's in the bag? Your blow-up doll? 618 00:48:09,012 --> 00:48:13,073 Oh, no. I got something that you’re really gonna like. 619 00:48:13,150 --> 00:48:15,812 - What happened to you? - Shut up. 620 00:48:17,421 --> 00:48:19,355 You guys teach here? 621 00:48:19,423 --> 00:48:20,890 Yeah. 622 00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:22,949 I was thinking about taking some classes. 623 00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:27,360 But I decided to hit the job market early and get a jump start on things. 624 00:48:29,099 --> 00:48:30,862 Can we help you? 625 00:48:30,968 --> 00:48:35,132 Yeah. A guy got killed at my country club last night. 626 00:48:35,238 --> 00:48:38,139 A real douche bag. 627 00:48:38,208 --> 00:48:40,335 That just doesn't make it right. 628 00:48:41,578 --> 00:48:43,773 It was an animal attack. 629 00:48:48,085 --> 00:48:50,451 Isn't that something? 630 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,886 Happened by the water hazard on the fourth green. 631 00:48:52,956 --> 00:48:55,424 The lady he was banging saw the whole thing. 632 00:48:55,492 --> 00:48:59,223 We chased this sucker on the fairway, and then it died in a sand trap. 633 00:48:59,296 --> 00:49:01,958 It just died? How? 634 00:49:03,033 --> 00:49:05,001 Like it was choking to death. 635 00:49:06,403 --> 00:49:09,031 You know? Stopped breathing. 636 00:49:09,139 --> 00:49:10,902 Anyway... 637 00:49:10,974 --> 00:49:15,035 it's like nothing I ever saw before and I thought you might want to look at it. 638 00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:31,351 Jill, you've got some kind of infestation here. 639 00:49:33,196 --> 00:49:35,926 You have a serious bug problem. 640 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,433 What? 641 00:49:44,207 --> 00:49:47,608 Jill, there's something in your closet. 642 00:49:51,581 --> 00:49:53,276 Open the door, Grace. 643 00:49:53,350 --> 00:49:55,443 Me? It's your house. 644 00:50:16,039 --> 00:50:18,269 When did you get a dog? 645 00:50:21,378 --> 00:50:23,369 We don't have a damn dog. 646 00:50:25,015 --> 00:50:28,974 I don't think that's a dog. It's like a rodent. 647 00:50:29,052 --> 00:50:31,111 Or a muskrat or pig. 648 00:50:33,390 --> 00:50:37,451 - How the hell did it get in here? - It doesn't look too healthy. 649 00:50:37,527 --> 00:50:39,791 Well, it's frightened. 650 00:50:39,863 --> 00:50:45,324 Oh, look, he can barely breathe, he's so scared. 651 00:50:45,402 --> 00:50:50,305 Come on, cutie pie. Don't be afraid. 652 00:50:50,407 --> 00:50:53,274 Come on, come on. That's a good boy. 653 00:51:02,519 --> 00:51:04,077 Yes, 91 1 ? 654 00:51:20,403 --> 00:51:22,337 What the hell is that thing? 655 00:51:29,613 --> 00:51:31,046 Thanks. 656 00:51:32,516 --> 00:51:37,249 Pick me up in an hour. No, two. Oh, an hour and a half would be good. 657 00:51:42,626 --> 00:51:44,093 Thanks. 658 00:51:52,502 --> 00:51:54,868 Hi. Do you have any messages for me? 659 00:51:58,542 --> 00:52:01,841 Two single beds, please. We're fighting. 660 00:52:01,912 --> 00:52:06,508 Ira, I'm tired. I've had two hours sleep and I've got to take a shower. 661 00:52:06,583 --> 00:52:08,278 They're spreading. 662 00:52:08,351 --> 00:52:13,084 You talking about the golf course? Woodman sent a team there two hours ago. 663 00:52:13,156 --> 00:52:17,388 Well, it's too bad you missed the five-foot amphibian dead in my lab. 664 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:20,224 They're adapting. We gotta shut it down. 665 00:52:20,297 --> 00:52:23,027 You're overreacting. We can handle this. 666 00:52:24,201 --> 00:52:26,169 I used to be arrogant like you. 667 00:52:27,704 --> 00:52:31,572 We're both aware of what that led to. Take me seriously, Allison. 668 00:52:33,276 --> 00:52:35,073 I do take you seriously. 669 00:52:36,613 --> 00:52:40,344 Then you gotta talk to Woodman, 'cause he won't listen to me. 670 00:52:40,417 --> 00:52:43,181 We gotta kill these things while we still can. 671 00:52:45,822 --> 00:52:49,314 All right. I'll discuss it with him, but I can't promise you anything. 672 00:52:49,392 --> 00:52:51,553 Thank you. 673 00:52:51,628 --> 00:52:55,257 -Just one more thing. - Yeah? 674 00:52:55,332 --> 00:52:58,324 Do you think you could ever be attracted to me? 675 00:53:00,370 --> 00:53:01,564 Bye, Ira. 676 00:53:01,671 --> 00:53:03,571 It’s just food for thought. 677 00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:12,671 Yeah, she's mine. 678 00:53:15,886 --> 00:53:18,150 I've been an adjunct professor for four years... 679 00:53:18,221 --> 00:53:23,682 but I'm hoping this alien brouhaha will net me an honorary doctorate. 680 00:53:24,761 --> 00:53:27,321 You gonna finish that bacon? 681 00:53:27,397 --> 00:53:29,865 Yeah, I'm gonna finish it. I ordered it, didn't I? 682 00:53:30,934 --> 00:53:34,893 So about the coaching girls' volleyball? 683 00:53:36,439 --> 00:53:38,532 Do you ever get to see them take showers? 684 00:53:38,642 --> 00:53:42,043 Yeah, all the time. Sometimes I shower with them. 685 00:53:43,079 --> 00:53:45,104 You're kidding, right? 686 00:53:45,181 --> 00:53:47,479 - So? - She's gonna talk to Woodman. 687 00:53:47,550 --> 00:53:49,484 Ah, thank goodness. 688 00:53:50,687 --> 00:53:52,120 I'm okay. 689 00:53:53,423 --> 00:53:55,653 Level with me. 690 00:53:55,725 --> 00:54:01,288 Is there some sort of alien attack happening here? 691 00:54:02,365 --> 00:54:04,390 We don't know. 692 00:54:06,836 --> 00:54:09,066 Excuse me, could I borrow your cream? 693 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,834 Hi, Denise. 694 00:54:11,908 --> 00:54:15,503 Hello, Ira. Still setting the world on fire? 695 00:54:15,578 --> 00:54:16,670 Ow. 696 00:54:16,746 --> 00:54:19,214 That's Ira's ex sitting with the cop. 697 00:54:19,282 --> 00:54:22,979 What's with the police escort? You're not under arrest. I don't see handcuffs. 698 00:54:23,053 --> 00:54:26,454 That's funny. This is my friend, Sam. He's about to make detective. 699 00:54:26,523 --> 00:54:29,583 I know Sam. We go way back. Congratulations. 700 00:54:29,659 --> 00:54:34,187 Maybe you could look into my missing shirts. She left with some of my shirts. 701 00:54:34,264 --> 00:54:36,357 See what I mean? 702 00:54:36,433 --> 00:54:39,197 I'm not up on the law... 703 00:54:39,302 --> 00:54:43,329 but is it against the law when you leave somebody's house with what they own? 704 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,533 You want your shirt? 705 00:54:45,642 --> 00:54:48,008 Seriously, take it. 706 00:54:48,078 --> 00:54:50,512 You must be cold, right? Are you cold? Is that it? 707 00:54:50,580 --> 00:54:54,243 Why should I get to wear the shirt when it's your shirt? 708 00:54:54,317 --> 00:54:57,718 It's amazing how many women open their shirt to him. 709 00:54:57,787 --> 00:55:01,951 I'm sure he'll let you borrow the shirt for just today. Right, Professor? 710 00:55:02,025 --> 00:55:06,621 We got a code 12-72 in Valley Vista. 711 00:55:06,696 --> 00:55:08,687 1 2-72? That's an animal attack. 712 00:55:08,765 --> 00:55:10,198 1 0-9-9 responding. 713 00:55:10,266 --> 00:55:12,734 - Gotta go, babe. - Now? 714 00:55:12,802 --> 00:55:14,133 They're calling. 715 00:55:14,237 --> 00:55:15,602 Wait. 716 00:55:16,639 --> 00:55:18,072 Be careful. 717 00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:23,039 - You'll take care of the check, right? - Yeah. 718 00:55:29,753 --> 00:55:31,846 I want those shirts back, Denise. 719 00:55:32,922 --> 00:55:35,482 Hey, you gotta admit... 720 00:55:35,558 --> 00:55:40,086 this animal attack has an ominous feel to it. 721 00:55:40,163 --> 00:55:41,596 Check it out? 722 00:55:41,664 --> 00:55:44,394 - Check it out. - All right! 723 00:55:56,546 --> 00:56:01,347 We're under the microscope so let's be systematic and subtle in what we do. 724 00:56:01,418 --> 00:56:04,785 - No cowboy stuff, okay? - Professionals. 725 00:56:04,854 --> 00:56:06,879 Officer Johnson. 726 00:56:06,956 --> 00:56:10,392 - Fellas, why are you here? - We heard about the animal attack. 727 00:56:10,460 --> 00:56:12,792 And part of our job with the Health Department... 728 00:56:12,862 --> 00:56:14,921 is to ascertain if there’s any health risk. 729 00:56:14,998 --> 00:56:18,434 You know what? No. Not this time. Forget about it. 730 00:56:18,535 --> 00:56:21,197 - You touch it with your bare hands? - That would be a serious no-no. 731 00:56:21,304 --> 00:56:24,796 - You did? He touched it. - That's not good. 732 00:56:24,908 --> 00:56:26,933 - What do we do? - I don't know. 733 00:56:27,043 --> 00:56:30,069 Okay, why don’t you guys come in and take a look? 734 00:56:30,146 --> 00:56:34,845 I'll be checking things out around here in this vicinity. 735 00:56:42,592 --> 00:56:45,152 This dog is all ass. 736 00:56:45,228 --> 00:56:48,459 Ira, look at this, man. 737 00:56:51,968 --> 00:56:53,959 He would have come from in here, right? 738 00:56:54,070 --> 00:56:56,834 It’s just used for storage and access under the house. 739 00:57:02,779 --> 00:57:05,509 Looks like he crawled right through the dirt there. 740 00:57:08,618 --> 00:57:10,176 Hey, guys. 741 00:57:10,253 --> 00:57:13,984 I was conducting a parameter check... 742 00:57:14,057 --> 00:57:16,548 and there's something you'd better see. 743 00:57:16,626 --> 00:57:19,595 You liked that thing, you're gonna love this. 744 00:57:19,662 --> 00:57:21,095 What is it? 745 00:57:32,408 --> 00:57:34,706 Great googa-mooga! 746 00:57:34,777 --> 00:57:36,711 What'd I tell you? 747 00:57:39,115 --> 00:57:41,083 They're crawling out. 748 00:57:42,652 --> 00:57:45,212 They're trying to breathe in our atmosphere. 749 00:57:46,356 --> 00:57:49,223 Fortunately, they haven't been able to adapt yet. 750 00:57:52,362 --> 00:57:56,264 Hey, Ira, I think I know how these things got here. 751 00:57:56,332 --> 00:57:57,890 How? 752 00:57:58,001 --> 00:58:00,060 Well, this entire area... 753 00:58:00,170 --> 00:58:03,936 is a honeycomb of caves and old mine shafts. 754 00:58:04,007 --> 00:58:06,498 If memory serves, the Moenave cave system... 755 00:58:06,609 --> 00:58:10,204 starts a few miles from here, west of the golf course. 756 00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:14,239 Runs into the foothills, continues to the Kaibab plateau and into Lake Powell. 757 00:58:17,220 --> 00:58:22,487 Our cave is smack dab in the middle of the system. 758 00:58:22,559 --> 00:58:24,083 It's all connected. 759 00:58:26,396 --> 00:58:28,830 - Could you repeat that? - I'm impressed. 760 00:58:28,898 --> 00:58:33,631 Hey, beneath this calm, sexy exterior beats the heart of a true scientist. 761 00:58:33,736 --> 00:58:36,830 Whoa, guys! That one's moving. 762 00:58:42,345 --> 00:58:44,779 What the hell is it doing? 763 00:58:47,550 --> 00:58:49,313 It's trying to breathe. 764 00:58:58,761 --> 00:59:01,787 That's like a big loogie! 765 00:59:18,815 --> 00:59:20,976 Mazeltov. It's a boy. 766 00:59:24,621 --> 00:59:26,213 It's oxygen tolerant. 767 00:59:35,064 --> 00:59:36,998 It's flying away. Is that a bad thing? 768 00:59:37,066 --> 00:59:39,557 Only if you’re a human being. 769 00:59:42,405 --> 00:59:43,872 You know how much I hate shopping. 770 00:59:43,973 --> 00:59:46,441 We need to find you something nice for Thanksgiving. 771 00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:47,975 I got enough clothes. 772 00:59:51,180 --> 00:59:53,444 Tony, that color's great on you. 773 00:59:54,584 --> 00:59:56,017 Whoa. 774 01:00:27,917 --> 01:00:29,851 This might be the place. 775 01:00:38,795 --> 01:00:41,093 Ever used one of these before? 776 01:00:41,164 --> 01:00:43,257 Just 'cause I'm a school teacher, don't make me a pussy. 777 01:00:43,333 --> 01:00:48,134 Ladies, a flying extraterrestrial's in the store. Can we focus? 778 01:00:56,879 --> 01:00:59,404 I'm in here.Just a minute. 779 01:01:02,018 --> 01:01:04,213 Just a second, please. 780 01:01:05,555 --> 01:01:09,616 I said,just a second, bitch! 781 01:01:11,828 --> 01:01:15,559 How'd you like me to scratch the eyes out of your skull? 782 01:01:43,726 --> 01:01:47,457 Here, birdy-birdy-birdy. Birdy! 783 01:01:56,239 --> 01:01:57,672 All right. 784 01:01:58,741 --> 01:02:03,644 If I was a giant, nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be? 785 01:02:03,713 --> 01:02:05,146 Lingerie. 786 01:02:05,214 --> 01:02:07,978 - Not you, the bird. - Lingerie. 787 01:02:11,187 --> 01:02:12,848 Help! 788 01:02:32,408 --> 01:02:34,467 You go low. I'm going high. 789 01:02:34,544 --> 01:02:35,977 Got it. 790 01:02:57,733 --> 01:02:59,701 We'll never find it. 791 01:02:59,769 --> 01:03:02,033 I lost him! 792 01:03:02,138 --> 01:03:05,437 How do you lose a 20-foot bird in the mall? 793 01:03:05,508 --> 01:03:09,069 Ira, I don't know. 794 01:03:10,012 --> 01:03:11,604 What do we do now? 795 01:03:26,329 --> 01:03:30,595 We've established that "ca-caw, ca-caw" and "tookie-tookie" don't work. 796 01:03:30,666 --> 01:03:32,861 Right. Sorry. 797 01:03:34,003 --> 01:03:36,995 What do you say, Ira? Pack it in? 798 01:03:38,374 --> 01:03:40,968 You’re 799 01:03:41,043 --> 01:03:45,139 So beautiful to me 800 01:03:45,214 --> 01:03:48,308 Step back, Harry. I'm gonna shoot him. 801 01:03:48,384 --> 01:03:50,944 Stand down. I'm gonna kill this one myself. 802 01:03:52,021 --> 01:03:54,854 Give me a chance. I'm communicating here. 803 01:03:54,924 --> 01:03:59,952 You are so beautiful 804 01:04:00,029 --> 01:04:01,621 Tome 805 01:04:01,697 --> 01:04:05,656 Wayne, would you please stop, because you are embarrassing me. 806 01:04:05,768 --> 01:04:07,793 Can't you see 807 01:04:09,405 --> 01:04:11,168 You're every-- 808 01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:21,514 You're everything that I hope for 809 01:04:29,058 --> 01:04:30,753 It's working. 810 01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,851 Yeah, sing, sing. Rub some funk on it. 811 01:04:32,929 --> 01:04:35,864 And you’re everything I need 812 01:04:42,238 --> 01:04:43,728 Here he comes! 813 01:04:43,839 --> 01:04:46,171 - Grab the girl. I'll get the bird. - Got it! 814 01:05:16,372 --> 01:05:19,307 All right! Nice shot. 815 01:05:19,375 --> 01:05:25,007 I'm sorry. I swear to God I will never shoplift again. 816 01:05:25,081 --> 01:05:26,571 Good. 817 01:05:36,659 --> 01:05:39,924 So what do you want? Light meat or dark? 818 01:05:39,996 --> 01:05:41,930 You have to ask? 819 01:05:48,571 --> 01:05:50,163 It's dead now. 820 01:05:50,272 --> 01:05:51,705 Yeah. 821 01:06:06,989 --> 01:06:10,356 Got to start to feelin' so low 822 01:06:11,293 --> 01:06:13,887 And I decided quickly 823 01:06:13,963 --> 01:06:15,624 Yes, I did 824 01:06:15,698 --> 01:06:19,464 To disco down and check out the show 825 01:06:19,568 --> 01:06:22,093 Yeah, they were dancin' and singin' 826 01:06:22,204 --> 01:06:24,263 And movin' to the groovin' 827 01:06:24,373 --> 01:06:26,432 And just when it hit me 828 01:06:26,542 --> 01:06:29,067 Somebody turned around and shouted 829 01:06:29,145 --> 01:06:33,241 Play that funky music, white boy 830 01:06:33,315 --> 01:06:35,283 Play that funky music right 831 01:06:35,351 --> 01:06:38,878 I'm standing at the edge of the Valley Vist a housing community... 832 01:06:38,954 --> 01:06:44,415 where just below me there are dozens of giant, odd-looking dead creatures. 833 01:06:44,493 --> 01:06:48,725 We should stress to our viewers that we have received no official word from-- 834 01:06:48,798 --> 01:06:51,699 I saw this ugly tentacle thing come out of the ground. 835 01:06:51,801 --> 01:06:54,099 It tried to grab my private parts. 836 01:06:54,203 --> 01:06:56,398 Batted it away. Got my hand. 837 01:06:56,505 --> 01:06:59,668 An atmosphere of anxiety and confusion in the greater Glen Canyon area. 838 01:06:59,742 --> 01:07:02,336 We stand outside the state capitol building... 839 01:07:02,411 --> 01:07:07,144 awaiting comment from the governor's office about the nature and origin... 840 01:07:07,216 --> 01:07:09,616 of these extraordinary creatures. 841 01:07:23,265 --> 01:07:26,166 Governor Lewis, this way. 842 01:07:26,268 --> 01:07:31,228 Why was I not informed that we have aliens crawling over my beloved state? 843 01:07:31,340 --> 01:07:36,972 I've got 400 media vultures outside my office who know more about this than I. 844 01:07:37,046 --> 01:07:40,345 I ought to throw all of you in prison. 845 01:07:40,416 --> 01:07:42,816 Not that cushy federal place with the loose jumpsuits. 846 01:07:42,885 --> 01:07:45,046 State prison, with the crotch binders! 847 01:07:45,121 --> 01:07:50,354 I'm sorry, but there were security breaches made by Dr. Kane and his team. 848 01:07:50,426 --> 01:07:52,894 Wait a minute. No, no. Excuse me. 849 01:07:52,962 --> 01:07:55,863 That's not exactly true, General Woodman. 850 01:07:55,931 --> 01:07:58,866 I believe the Governor's question was directed at me, Dr. Reed. 851 01:07:58,968 --> 01:08:01,869 Put a plug in it. I'm not interested in your bureaucratic crapola. 852 01:08:01,937 --> 01:08:04,599 What I really want to know is how bad this thing is. 853 01:08:04,707 --> 01:08:06,436 It's bad, Governor. 854 01:08:07,543 --> 01:08:11,639 The new ground sensors and the satellite thermal scans... 855 01:08:11,714 --> 01:08:14,774 indicate a potential problem. 856 01:08:14,850 --> 01:08:17,182 I don't know how to read this! What problem? 857 01:08:17,253 --> 01:08:20,882 Somebody, please, take this ugly bag of snakes and lay them out straight. 858 01:08:20,956 --> 01:08:22,480 - Allow me. - You are-- 859 01:08:22,558 --> 01:08:24,492 Dr. Allison Reed. How do you do? 860 01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:27,051 Carla, would you mind 861 01:08:28,964 --> 01:08:32,559 The red markings indicate the growth of the alien ecosystem. 862 01:08:35,471 --> 01:08:40,408 Unless we do something immediately, we will lose Glen Canyon in three days. 863 01:08:40,509 --> 01:08:42,067 Great merciful Christ. 864 01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:48,740 In a week, the rest of Arizona. Then the entire Southwest. 865 01:08:48,818 --> 01:08:52,914 In two months, the United States officially belongs to them. 866 01:08:52,988 --> 01:08:55,183 And we are extinct. 867 01:08:55,257 --> 01:08:57,054 You're shittin' me! 868 01:09:02,998 --> 01:09:05,899 Come on, admit it. You're glad to see us, huh? 869 01:09:06,001 --> 01:09:08,629 I, for one, am glad to see you. Call the MP's. Have them arrested. 870 01:09:08,737 --> 01:09:12,138 Hey, we just blew a giant alien bird out of a department store. 871 01:09:12,208 --> 01:09:14,142 We're covering up your mess. 872 01:09:14,210 --> 01:09:18,977 Governor, Dr. Ira Kane. I'm chairman of the science department at the college. 873 01:09:19,048 --> 01:09:20,538 My associate. 874 01:09:20,616 --> 01:09:24,313 Harry Phineas Block, adjunct professor of geology. Voted for you. 875 01:09:24,386 --> 01:09:28,413 Wayne Grey. Took some chemistry in high school. 876 01:09:30,492 --> 01:09:35,054 You two gentlemen are the original discovers of the phenomena, correct? 877 01:09:35,130 --> 01:09:38,293 Yes, they are. And they're also responsible for the mess we're in now. 878 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,867 - Here we go. - What? 879 01:09:39,935 --> 01:09:43,371 They broke into the contained area and breached our safety procedures. 880 01:09:43,472 --> 01:09:46,805 Causing the dissemination of alien organisms outside the secured area. 881 01:09:46,876 --> 01:09:50,312 - Liar, liar, pants on fire! - Criminal charges are in order here. 882 01:09:50,412 --> 01:09:52,175 This is bullshit! 883 01:09:52,248 --> 01:09:53,772 Shut up! Listen. 884 01:09:53,849 --> 01:09:56,511 My state is being overrun by vicious aliens. 885 01:09:56,585 --> 01:10:00,988 You're all supposed to be the experts. I want to know right now. 886 01:10:01,056 --> 01:10:03,286 How the hell are you supposed to deal with this? 887 01:10:03,359 --> 01:10:08,922 This is an outline of the infected area as of this afternoon. 888 01:10:08,998 --> 01:10:10,590 Governor, my plan... 889 01:10:10,666 --> 01:10:14,124 is to evacuate everyone from within five miles of the perimeter. 890 01:10:14,203 --> 01:10:16,671 Evacuation? You're talking about 10,000 people. 891 01:10:16,772 --> 01:10:19,605 Yes, sir. We evacuate, make it safe... 892 01:10:19,675 --> 01:10:22,644 and then burn the alien menace the hell out of there. 893 01:10:22,745 --> 01:10:24,110 With what? 894 01:10:25,447 --> 01:10:29,008 With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm. 895 01:10:29,084 --> 01:10:31,814 Napalm? Why don't you just nuke them while you’re at it? 896 01:10:31,887 --> 01:10:34,651 What about nukes? 897 01:10:34,723 --> 01:10:37,487 Pull your horns in, boys. Nobody's dropping an H-bomb on my state. 898 01:10:37,559 --> 01:10:41,188 All this talk about napalm and burning things makes me very damn nervous. 899 01:10:41,263 --> 01:10:44,790 It should. We don't know their reaction to such an attack on a cellular level. 900 01:10:44,867 --> 01:10:49,099 Governor, it is time for a military solution. This will work. 901 01:10:49,204 --> 01:10:52,469 General, sorry to interrupt. You better take a look at this. 902 01:10:52,541 --> 01:10:54,008 What? 903 01:10:55,077 --> 01:10:56,237 Clear out. 904 01:10:59,448 --> 01:11:02,281 What? You called me out for this? 905 01:11:02,351 --> 01:11:06,117 Sir, one of the creatures destroyed video four. 906 01:11:06,188 --> 01:11:08,213 What's going on there? 907 01:11:10,993 --> 01:11:14,224 My God! They've evolved into primates. 908 01:11:16,298 --> 01:11:18,289 That's a face for radio. 909 01:11:33,082 --> 01:11:34,982 They took out six and seven. 910 01:11:35,050 --> 01:11:36,813 All the monitors are down. 911 01:11:36,885 --> 01:11:38,785 That can't be good. 912 01:11:39,855 --> 01:11:41,379 That's the elevator. 913 01:11:42,691 --> 01:11:44,625 We have no personnel down there. 914 01:11:44,693 --> 01:11:47,184 They breached the air lock. 915 01:11:47,262 --> 01:11:49,127 The no-nose chimp? 916 01:11:49,865 --> 01:11:51,526 Call for backup. 917 01:11:53,736 --> 01:11:56,864 We need backup! They're going through the elevator! 918 01:12:00,909 --> 01:12:02,536 Cover the elevator! 919 01:12:03,612 --> 01:12:05,375 Stay back behind me. 920 01:12:05,447 --> 01:12:07,847 Get the hell off me! I want to see this thing! 921 01:12:13,288 --> 01:12:15,153 Be prepared to fire. 922 01:12:30,572 --> 01:12:32,563 It's empty, sir. 923 01:12:48,090 --> 01:12:49,250 The governor! 924 01:13:01,870 --> 01:13:05,237 - Do something! - Hold your fire! 925 01:13:05,307 --> 01:13:07,070 You'll get somebody killed. 926 01:13:31,266 --> 01:13:32,927 Nice shot. 927 01:13:33,035 --> 01:13:35,265 I'll take that now. 928 01:13:40,008 --> 01:13:45,002 You have my full support to do whatever you need to do, however much firepower. 929 01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:49,244 You can melt the place to beaded glass if that’s what it takes. 930 01:13:49,318 --> 01:13:52,219 Just get these hell-blown creazoids out of my state! 931 01:13:52,287 --> 01:13:54,847 Thank you, Governor. I'll be ready to go by noon tomorrow. 932 01:13:54,923 --> 01:13:56,015 Good. 933 01:13:56,091 --> 01:13:59,117 - Where have you two been? - I was getting out of the way. 934 01:13:59,194 --> 01:14:01,822 Get me out of here. 935 01:14:01,897 --> 01:14:04,127 Science project's over. 936 01:14:04,199 --> 01:14:07,293 I want you and your people gone. 937 01:14:07,402 --> 01:14:10,701 - Soldier, escort these men out. - Yes, sir. 938 01:14:16,745 --> 01:14:19,680 Don’t you have work to do? 939 01:14:19,748 --> 01:14:21,841 You are such an asshole. 940 01:14:26,255 --> 01:14:28,815 When a woman expresses anger, it's often because-- 941 01:14:28,891 --> 01:14:31,325 Shut up, Flemming. 942 01:14:33,395 --> 01:14:36,262 Okay, I know where the car is. 943 01:14:37,566 --> 01:14:39,591 Wipe my ass too? 944 01:14:39,701 --> 01:14:41,828 Hey, guys? 945 01:14:43,405 --> 01:14:45,430 Got room for one more? 946 01:14:46,441 --> 01:14:47,669 Hell, yeah. 947 01:14:47,743 --> 01:14:53,181 Who wants to be deputy director anyway? The real money's in the private sector. 948 01:14:54,850 --> 01:14:57,819 - Are you sure about this? - Oh, yeah. 949 01:14:57,886 --> 01:15:03,085 Listen, it may not seem like much, but I got your research files and samples. 950 01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:10,159 So, if we survive this, you guys will get the credit. 951 01:15:13,869 --> 01:15:15,063 Thank you. 952 01:15:15,170 --> 01:15:17,468 - It's nothing. - No, thank-- Let me get this. 953 01:15:17,539 --> 01:15:20,474 - No, I got it. - All right. 954 01:15:23,712 --> 01:15:25,839 Sorry. Excuse me. 955 01:15:25,914 --> 01:15:28,849 We haven't been formally introduced yet. I'm Wayne Grey. 956 01:15:28,917 --> 01:15:32,648 - Oh, hey, I'm kinda with him. - Oh, that's cool. 957 01:15:34,590 --> 01:15:36,524 Buckle up, Allison. We're rolling. 958 01:15:36,592 --> 01:15:38,082 Okay. Oh, goodness! 959 01:15:41,830 --> 01:15:45,789 Facilities are being provided for you and your families. 960 01:15:45,901 --> 01:15:49,132 Please move in an orderly fashion to the safe zone. 961 01:15:57,279 --> 01:15:59,577 They're gonna blow up the whole town. 962 01:16:22,671 --> 01:16:26,471 Attention. We need to clear this area. 963 01:16:26,541 --> 01:16:31,001 For your own safety, evacuate immediately. 964 01:16:33,215 --> 01:16:35,206 Can you make a beer run? 965 01:16:47,162 --> 01:16:50,859 - Professor Kane! - Arizona is going down, baby! 966 01:16:50,932 --> 01:16:53,799 This may not be the best time for you boys to be drinking. 967 01:17:00,676 --> 01:17:03,372 I was your first. 968 01:17:03,445 --> 01:17:05,709 We discovered you in that cave. You were scared and alone. 969 01:17:05,781 --> 01:17:10,081 It was just you, me and Harry in the beginning. Those were good times. 970 01:17:10,152 --> 01:17:12,143 Why don't you level with me? 971 01:17:12,220 --> 01:17:15,348 You can trust me. Talk to me. 972 01:17:15,424 --> 01:17:18,393 Just tell me the secret. 973 01:17:18,460 --> 01:17:21,486 Tell me the answer. Tell me how to kill you! 974 01:17:21,563 --> 01:17:25,055 You are losing it, pal. 975 01:17:25,133 --> 01:17:26,964 What is that stuff? 976 01:17:28,070 --> 01:17:30,868 Some of the original liquid material from inside the meteor. 977 01:17:30,939 --> 01:17:33,669 - Why hasn't it evolved like the rest? - I don't know. 978 01:17:33,742 --> 01:17:36,176 Maybe because it was refrigerated... 979 01:17:36,244 --> 01:17:39,111 was locked in an airtight case, didn't have anything to metabolize with. 980 01:17:39,181 --> 01:17:41,809 But regardless, that doesn't give us any clues to-- 981 01:17:45,053 --> 01:17:46,850 When did you start smoking? 982 01:17:46,922 --> 01:17:49,550 Not much of a point to clean living anymore. 983 01:18:09,311 --> 01:18:10,938 Whoa! 984 01:18:15,751 --> 01:18:18,242 These things react to fire like it was Miracle-Gro. 985 01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:19,753 Fire. 986 01:18:21,223 --> 01:18:24,556 The organisms were dormant in space and then collided with Earth's atmosphere. 987 01:18:24,626 --> 01:18:29,222 And bam! Heat. Fire. That's the catalyst. 988 01:18:29,297 --> 01:18:34,735 So if a little match catalyzes this stuff, what's a ton of napalm gonna do? 989 01:18:35,670 --> 01:18:37,604 So much for the military option. 990 01:18:44,346 --> 01:18:46,371 Call that dick general. 991 01:18:51,720 --> 01:18:53,745 That's a lot of napalm. 992 01:18:53,822 --> 01:18:55,813 Yes, it is. 993 01:18:55,891 --> 01:18:59,190 We're going to blow those damn creatures straight to hell. 994 01:18:59,261 --> 01:19:01,286 We'll fush them out along the mine shafts... 995 01:19:01,363 --> 01:19:05,129 then mop up the edges as they run trying to escape the fames. 996 01:19:05,200 --> 01:19:08,328 Excuse me, General. There's an urgent call from Dr. Reed. 997 01:19:08,437 --> 01:19:11,429 She says she has important information about the mission. 998 01:19:11,540 --> 01:19:15,408 Really? Well, unfortunately, I'm not available. 999 01:19:21,183 --> 01:19:23,048 Anything more? 1000 01:19:23,118 --> 01:19:25,018 No, sir. 1001 01:19:31,059 --> 01:19:33,118 He blew me off. Can you believe it? 1002 01:19:33,195 --> 01:19:35,459 That bastard wouldn't even take my call. 1003 01:19:35,530 --> 01:19:37,964 You did call him an asshole. 1004 01:19:38,033 --> 01:19:41,525 - Hey, Dr. K. Time to party. - We got beer. 1005 01:19:41,636 --> 01:19:44,127 - I'll take one. - Me too. I just quit smoking. 1006 01:19:44,239 --> 01:19:46,173 What are you boys doing here? 1007 01:19:46,241 --> 01:19:48,675 We thought you could use a brewski to mellow out. 1008 01:19:48,743 --> 01:19:51,507 Kick back and chill. 1009 01:19:51,580 --> 01:19:55,914 Have a beer, relax. It's gonna help you with your research. 1010 01:19:55,984 --> 01:19:58,885 Whoa! Look at that thing! 1011 01:19:58,954 --> 01:20:02,515 Whoa! Can we have that when you guys are done with it? 1012 01:20:02,591 --> 01:20:06,391 Fellas, thank you for your help and the beers, but we're working. 1013 01:20:06,461 --> 01:20:09,123 Hold it. Hold it. 1014 01:20:09,197 --> 01:20:11,131 - Look at that. - What are you doing? 1015 01:20:11,199 --> 01:20:14,293 Selenium. That could be the answer. 1016 01:20:14,402 --> 01:20:18,463 I'm looking at the Periodic Table on your T-shirt and I see this pattern. 1017 01:20:18,573 --> 01:20:21,474 - Take off your shirt. I'll show you. - Yes! 1018 01:20:21,543 --> 01:20:23,170 No, I don't think so. 1019 01:20:23,245 --> 01:20:26,510 We are a carbon based life-form. 1020 01:20:26,581 --> 01:20:28,071 Keep pulling, Dr. K. 1021 01:20:28,149 --> 01:20:31,880 We move down here, and you've found our poison: arsenic. 1022 01:20:31,953 --> 01:20:34,319 But the aliens are nitrogen based, right? 1023 01:20:34,389 --> 01:20:37,916 You make the same move down and over... 1024 01:20:37,993 --> 01:20:40,325 and where do you find yourself? 1025 01:20:40,395 --> 01:20:43,421 - Selenium. - Selenium. 1026 01:20:43,498 --> 01:20:45,898 Could be as lethal to them as arsenic is to us. 1027 01:20:46,001 --> 01:20:49,027 And with their metabolic rates, it'll kill them fast. 1028 01:20:51,606 --> 01:20:54,439 Selenium. How much do we need? 1029 01:20:57,946 --> 01:21:00,506 Five hundred gallons could do it, should do it. 1030 01:21:00,582 --> 01:21:02,550 Five hundred gallons? 1031 01:21:02,617 --> 01:21:07,884 Um, I hate to be a buzz kill, but where are we gonna get that at 2:00 a.m.? 1032 01:21:07,956 --> 01:21:09,617 No problem. 1033 01:21:09,691 --> 01:21:11,750 Yeah, we can get that. 1034 01:21:15,497 --> 01:21:16,896 Head & Shoulders. 1035 01:21:16,965 --> 01:21:18,557 The dandruff shampoo? 1036 01:21:18,633 --> 01:21:23,195 Yeah, that's the stuff. The active ingredient is selenium sulfide. 1037 01:21:26,107 --> 01:21:28,575 How do you know that? You don't know anything. 1038 01:21:28,677 --> 01:21:32,545 Haven’t you noticed how shiny and fake-free our hair is? 1039 01:21:36,384 --> 01:21:39,649 Okay, this is the best idea we got. 1040 01:21:39,721 --> 01:21:42,281 Let's give it a shot. Come on. Let's do it! 1041 01:21:42,357 --> 01:21:45,622 Yeah! We'll get the troops together. We're getting shampoo! 1042 01:21:45,694 --> 01:21:47,457 I've got the vehicle. 1043 01:21:47,529 --> 01:21:51,431 Good! Donalds, you just got your A's. 1044 01:21:51,499 --> 01:21:52,932 Yes! 1045 01:22:00,475 --> 01:22:01,908 Almost full. 1046 01:22:07,082 --> 01:22:11,314 There's something I feel I should tell you, but I don't know exactly how. 1047 01:22:11,386 --> 01:22:16,756 Just say it. We're adults and we're all about to die a very horrible death. 1048 01:22:16,825 --> 01:22:19,123 So? 1049 01:22:19,194 --> 01:22:21,662 I would've rocked your world. 1050 01:22:26,935 --> 01:22:29,199 - You already have. - We're full! 1051 01:22:29,304 --> 01:22:32,899 Battle stations! Lock and load! 1052 01:22:34,976 --> 01:22:38,173 - Can we continue this discussion later? - Yes. 1053 01:22:39,147 --> 01:22:40,546 Let's do this! 1054 01:22:42,384 --> 01:22:44,648 Let's shampoo us some aliens! 1055 01:23:04,239 --> 01:23:06,207 Lots of soldiers around. 1056 01:23:12,447 --> 01:23:17,475 There's an abandoned mine half a click south of here. We can sneak in there. 1057 01:23:17,552 --> 01:23:19,918 Half a click? What are you, in Vietnam? 1058 01:23:19,988 --> 01:23:23,446 Hey, I'm digging this. Work with me, baby. 1059 01:23:42,210 --> 01:23:45,737 It's over here! It's right here! 1060 01:23:48,416 --> 01:23:51,010 - You okay? - I'm good. I'm good. 1061 01:23:52,153 --> 01:23:54,621 - Let's go! - Let's do this! 1062 01:23:55,990 --> 01:23:58,049 You sure this leads to the main cavern? 1063 01:23:58,126 --> 01:24:01,118 It'll lead us somewhere. Geology's not an exact science. 1064 01:24:04,466 --> 01:24:08,402 Where are you? Where are you, my little aliens? 1065 01:24:10,338 --> 01:24:11,828 Show yourself. 1066 01:24:22,050 --> 01:24:23,950 Warm to the touch. 1067 01:24:27,655 --> 01:24:29,646 Highly acidic. 1068 01:24:29,724 --> 01:24:32,488 We do not have time for you to act like you know what you’re doing. 1069 01:24:32,560 --> 01:24:36,894 - What happened to the respect? - Woodman's going at noon. Hurry. 1070 01:24:39,734 --> 01:24:41,395 Very good. 1071 01:24:41,503 --> 01:24:43,437 - Are the troops in place? - They're ahead of schedule. 1072 01:24:43,538 --> 01:24:46,371 Excellent. We can go early. 1073 01:24:46,441 --> 01:24:49,740 Oh, no. What is he doing here? 1074 01:24:52,580 --> 01:24:54,013 Governor Lewis. 1075 01:24:54,082 --> 01:24:57,313 I don't see anything burning. Where are all the explosions? 1076 01:24:57,385 --> 01:25:00,650 We’re just getting underway. Didn't know you were coming to see the show. 1077 01:25:00,722 --> 01:25:03,384 You damn well better make it a good one, Sergeant. 1078 01:25:03,458 --> 01:25:04,925 That's General. 1079 01:25:04,993 --> 01:25:08,258 Not if you screw this up. Keeping my chair warm for me? 1080 01:25:09,464 --> 01:25:11,432 Thank you. 1081 01:25:11,499 --> 01:25:14,332 I'll take a pair of spy glasses and a hot chocolate. 1082 01:25:14,435 --> 01:25:16,164 Give me a hose. 1083 01:25:16,271 --> 01:25:20,935 Get up top. When I give you the signal, start pumping the selenium. 1084 01:25:21,009 --> 01:25:22,670 Got it. 1085 01:25:42,030 --> 01:25:47,024 Okay, we're gonna spray all around the meteor, then get out of here fast. 1086 01:25:50,238 --> 01:25:51,967 Oh, blue monkey! 1087 01:25:54,976 --> 01:25:57,843 Wayne, charge the line now! 1088 01:26:07,121 --> 01:26:10,887 - That's the napalm! - Woodman went early! 1089 01:26:21,002 --> 01:26:23,197 Bad, bad, bad, bad! 1090 01:26:23,304 --> 01:26:25,738 Wayne, come on! 1091 01:26:27,976 --> 01:26:30,274 Okay, I'm out! 1092 01:26:36,284 --> 01:26:38,149 Oh! We gotta go! 1093 01:26:41,923 --> 01:26:45,586 Go! Go, go! Faster! Get up there! 1094 01:26:45,660 --> 01:26:48,629 - Go! - Run for your life! 1095 01:26:54,869 --> 01:26:58,600 Quite the bonfire, General Woodman. Should've brought some wieners. 1096 01:26:58,673 --> 01:27:00,402 That can be arranged. 1097 01:27:00,475 --> 01:27:04,104 - First reports are excellent, sir. - Very good. 1098 01:27:06,814 --> 01:27:09,112 Keep it together, Wayne. Keep it together. 1099 01:27:10,151 --> 01:27:11,584 Oh, my God. 1100 01:27:18,826 --> 01:27:20,919 What's happening? 1101 01:27:22,397 --> 01:27:24,297 - It's coming! - What's coming? 1102 01:27:26,968 --> 01:27:28,492 Get outta here! 1103 01:27:30,305 --> 01:27:32,739 General, look. 1104 01:27:48,089 --> 01:27:49,283 Hurry! 1105 01:27:49,357 --> 01:27:50,483 Drive! 1106 01:27:50,558 --> 01:27:51,923 Go! Go! 1107 01:28:46,414 --> 01:28:48,644 Fall back. Fall back! 1108 01:28:53,588 --> 01:28:55,749 What the hell is that thing? 1109 01:28:55,823 --> 01:29:00,351 The napalm forced an evolutionary response,just like the match. 1110 01:29:01,496 --> 01:29:02,929 That's evolution? 1111 01:29:02,997 --> 01:29:07,559 Survival of the fittest. Often the simplest organism is the strongest. 1112 01:29:07,668 --> 01:29:09,568 It's freaking out. 1113 01:29:09,637 --> 01:29:13,937 It's starting to have some sort of spaz attack. 1114 01:29:14,008 --> 01:29:17,535 No, that's not spazzing out. 1115 01:29:17,612 --> 01:29:19,603 It's getting ready to divide. 1116 01:29:24,018 --> 01:29:25,610 Mitosis. 1117 01:29:25,686 --> 01:29:29,713 Wait. There's gonna be more of these things? 1118 01:29:29,791 --> 01:29:31,383 Yeah, a lot more. 1119 01:29:31,459 --> 01:29:34,792 Its cycle's starting over again. It's gonna go on growing... 1120 01:29:34,862 --> 01:29:36,796 and doubling until it takes over. 1121 01:29:36,864 --> 01:29:40,425 Yeah, but we were here first. 1122 01:29:42,437 --> 01:29:46,806 So that Head & Shoulders idea, is that still the plan or what? 1123 01:29:49,944 --> 01:29:51,206 I'm driving. 1124 01:29:51,279 --> 01:29:55,443 I don't care if he’s on Air Force One. They've got phones. I've seen them! 1125 01:29:55,516 --> 01:29:57,950 I don't think this is gonna wait an hour. 1126 01:29:58,019 --> 01:30:01,716 Hey, what's that fire truck doing out there? 1127 01:30:18,072 --> 01:30:19,505 Mama. 1128 01:30:27,381 --> 01:30:28,973 Can you believe this? 1129 01:30:29,050 --> 01:30:31,780 We gotta find a point of attack. 1130 01:30:36,257 --> 01:30:38,157 There! 1131 01:30:46,601 --> 01:30:47,966 Nasty! 1132 01:30:48,069 --> 01:30:50,629 Allison, stop, stop. Right here. 1133 01:30:53,040 --> 01:30:56,669 - Here we go! - Get the ladder up! 1134 01:30:59,180 --> 01:31:01,546 Feed me the hose, Deke! 1135 01:31:01,616 --> 01:31:03,948 - What are you doing? - Going up top. 1136 01:31:04,018 --> 01:31:07,613 Not before me. I've got a major score to settle. 1137 01:31:07,688 --> 01:31:09,553 Go, go! 1138 01:31:25,606 --> 01:31:29,337 We don't have much time. Hurry! 1139 01:31:34,749 --> 01:31:36,979 - Left! - Left! 1140 01:31:37,051 --> 01:31:40,020 All right, I got it. I haven't had too much practice with this thing. 1141 01:31:42,823 --> 01:31:45,815 Stop! Stop! 1142 01:31:48,996 --> 01:31:51,794 - What's going on? - I don't know, but it's getting bigger. 1143 01:31:51,866 --> 01:31:54,664 What the hell are those guys doing with that ladder? 1144 01:31:56,637 --> 01:32:00,505 Looks like they're getting ready to administer a jumbo enema. 1145 01:32:00,575 --> 01:32:03,373 We got one shot. Let's do this. 1146 01:32:03,444 --> 01:32:07,039 It's payback time! 1147 01:32:11,018 --> 01:32:12,952 Keep it in there! 1148 01:32:13,020 --> 01:32:15,250 What's it look like I'm doing? 1149 01:32:16,624 --> 01:32:18,683 It's working! 1150 01:32:23,965 --> 01:32:26,058 - Shit! - Whoa! 1151 01:32:28,002 --> 01:32:29,230 What the hell? 1152 01:32:29,337 --> 01:32:31,999 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1153 01:32:32,106 --> 01:32:34,199 Give me back my friend, you big sphincter! 1154 01:32:35,009 --> 01:32:36,772 She's gonna blow! 1155 01:32:36,844 --> 01:32:38,072 Stop kicking! 1156 01:32:38,145 --> 01:32:40,238 It's horrible in here! 1157 01:32:40,314 --> 01:32:41,576 I got you! 1158 01:32:41,649 --> 01:32:44,379 - Please. Hold me. - I got you! 1159 01:32:44,452 --> 01:32:46,317 Don't let me go! 1160 01:32:49,790 --> 01:32:52,452 We gotta get outta here. This thing's gonna blow. 1161 01:32:52,526 --> 01:32:55,086 You cannot imagine what I've seen in there. 1162 01:32:55,162 --> 01:32:56,789 Hurry up, guys! 1163 01:32:56,864 --> 01:33:00,800 Ira, don’t you ever tell anyone where I've been. 1164 01:33:00,901 --> 01:33:02,630 Dear Lord! 1165 01:33:08,309 --> 01:33:10,243 Uh-oh. Time to go. 1166 01:33:12,813 --> 01:33:14,906 - Go! - Go! 1167 01:33:36,337 --> 01:33:38,828 Whoa! We did it! 1168 01:34:14,375 --> 01:34:19,074 Here we go, sir.Just relax, and we'll have you just as good as new. 1169 01:34:20,147 --> 01:34:23,173 I am happy to report that absolutely all remaining traces... 1170 01:34:23,250 --> 01:34:25,912 of the alien menace have been eradicated... 1171 01:34:25,986 --> 01:34:28,955 using the selenium shampoo formula developed right here. 1172 01:34:29,023 --> 01:34:34,017 Now let me introduce our civilian scientist heroes and their team. 1173 01:34:34,095 --> 01:34:38,259 The best that the great state of Arizona has been privileged to produce. 1174 01:34:42,269 --> 01:34:44,533 So, this is your moment. 1175 01:34:44,605 --> 01:34:48,439 You wouldn't want to miss this for anything, huh? 1176 01:34:48,509 --> 01:34:53,572 Firstly, I would like you all to meet Wayne Grey. 1177 01:34:53,647 --> 01:34:57,777 As of today, fully credentialed firefighter. 1178 01:34:57,852 --> 01:34:59,581 I spoke to the chief. 1179 01:34:59,653 --> 01:35:01,621 Oh, thanks, Governor. 1180 01:35:05,559 --> 01:35:09,859 Now our next hero, Professor Harry Block, noted geologist... 1181 01:35:09,930 --> 01:35:13,024 and the winningest coach in North Arizona's women's volleyball. 1182 01:35:13,134 --> 01:35:15,295 I appreciate that, Governor. Very kind. 1183 01:35:15,403 --> 01:35:18,839 First of all, let's give it up to God. With Him, all things are possible. 1184 01:35:18,939 --> 01:35:22,067 Basically, we just played tough defense, took it one alien at a time... 1185 01:35:22,143 --> 01:35:24,304 and we were able to come away with the big W. 1186 01:35:24,378 --> 01:35:26,039 Thank you. 1187 01:35:30,551 --> 01:35:31,643 Finally... 1188 01:35:32,720 --> 01:35:35,780 Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed... 1189 01:35:35,856 --> 01:35:40,350 whose tireless efforts and research and academic findings led to the-- 1190 01:35:41,862 --> 01:35:44,558 I think he's giving her a bit of the Kane Madness. 1191 01:35:58,679 --> 01:36:02,171 Wow! Fighting the alien menace can be tough work. 1192 01:36:02,249 --> 01:36:05,275 And so is keeping your hair clean, shiny and dandruff-free. 1193 01:36:05,352 --> 01:36:08,583 So it's a good thing that we always keep a healthy supply of-- 1194 01:36:08,685 --> 01:36:12,097 ...Head & Shoulders around the house.