0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,766 Cooper, it's open. 2 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,840 It's open? 3 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,927 Come on! 4 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,165 It's supposed to be awesome. 5 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,680 - Thank you. - Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser! 6 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,125 Mom! 7 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,241 Damn. 8 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,441 What? 9 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,721 I suck. 10 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,801 Wow, Sam. 11 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,411 How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before. 12 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,606 I don't know. 13 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,887 There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch. 14 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,645 I don't see it, but you sure as hell do. 15 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,487 Use the Force. Use the Force. 16 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,880 Hey, Chewie. 17 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,525 You're a superstar, dude. 18 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,409 And it's time to show the world. 19 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,890 Attention, all contestants. 20 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,566 The competition will start in 15 minutes. 21 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,122 You too? That's so funny. 22 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,881 Really? 23 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,084 I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself. 24 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,922 Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time. 25 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,008 - Who are you talking to? - Nobody! 26 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,161 We'll talk later. 27 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,607 You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right? 28 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,921 Who told you that? The government? 29 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,368 'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle. 30 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,968 Wow, you don't have any friends, do you? 31 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,610 Just my grandma. 32 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,281 Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us. 33 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,051 Really? 34 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,481 What's up, geeks and goobers? 35 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,927 They call me the Fire Blaster! 36 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,968 'Cause my hands are blazing fast, 37 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,364 and also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak-ass moves. 38 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,608 You must be the local talent. 39 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,241 If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble. 40 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,696 At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster. 41 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,768 Who cares who came up with it? 42 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,763 It's totally tubular. 43 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,481 Welcome, gamers, to the first annual 44 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,690 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships! 45 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:39,009 Tonight, we have representatives here from the Guinness Book of World Records, 46 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,482 as well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, 47 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,006 who will be videotaping tonight's competition 48 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,369 to be included in a compilation of 1982's news events and popular culture. 49 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,088 That videotape will be placed in a space probe 50 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,243 which will be launched by NASA into our solar system 51 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,403 with the hope of connecting to, and perhaps providing a message for 52 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,450 extraterrestrial life, should it exist. 53 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,926 It exists. 54 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,128 Ladies and gentlemen, 55 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,249 start your gaming! 56 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,689 All right, ladies and gentlemen, what an evening we have had here. 57 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,445 Six new US records set. 58 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,000 Three new world records set. 59 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:34,610 And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie. 60 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:39,402 Two hundred and fifty-nine points for your new Pac-Man world champion. 61 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,767 The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant! 62 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,363 Go, Fire Blaster! 63 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,249 And 259 points 64 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:50,006 for your new Galaga Centipede world champion, rookie sensation, 65 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,764 Sam Brenner! 66 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,367 Yeah, Sam! 67 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,770 Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie. 68 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:00,887 Let's play 69 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,281 Donkey Kong! 70 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,727 - Good luck, man. - Thanks. 71 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,041 You have the patterns down pretty good with these games. 72 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,764 You're gonna be tough to beat. 73 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,048 You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is, 74 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:57,006 at the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost. 75 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,771 And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore. 76 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,126 Does it, Brenner? 77 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,327 Congratulations. 78 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,921 On coming in second! 79 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,048 Fire Blaster is the world champ! 80 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,567 The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked. 81 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,167 He's a loser, and he will always be a loser. 82 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,571 Sam! 83 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,404 Sam, Sam, wait. 84 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,481 Sam, listen. 85 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,005 You're still gonna go to MIT 86 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,082 and invent something that makes you a millionaire. 87 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,242 And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John. 88 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,522 I was actually thinking Samantha Fox. 89 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,443 Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton. 90 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,720 Well, 91 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,484 there's always Madonna. 92 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,525 How about Scarlett Johansson? 93 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,170 So hot. 94 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,686 Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot. 95 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,046 And don't forget Katy Perry. 96 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,809 What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already. 97 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,496 Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you. 98 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,126 She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know. 99 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,687 We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago. 100 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,330 This job is killing me, man. 101 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,368 If I were you, 102 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,365 maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone, 103 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,920 shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars 104 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,570 and focus on your wife. 105 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,496 The President's gaffe-filled summer continued today... 106 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,920 Hold on a second. I gotta see this. 107 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,646 At Joseph Knibb Elementary School to promote his new youth reading initiative. 108 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,801 Here's what happened. 109 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:44,283 "Mittens jumped up onto the table and knocked over the whole bowl of soup. 110 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,886 "Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped." 111 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,961 She gasped. 112 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,602 "And the whole room fell silent. 113 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,330 "This was casta... 114 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,561 "This is cast... 115 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,050 "Catatastrophic." 116 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,286 Catastrophic. 117 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,850 I got it, sweetheart, okay? 118 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,605 Why'd you yell at me? 119 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,806 You're mean. 120 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,086 Leave her alone. 121 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,564 The President can't read. 122 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,320 You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that. 123 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,242 I was on three hours' sleep, all right? 124 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,045 - Your economics are hurting poor people! - Nice to see ya! 125 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,566 You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands. 126 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,696 Thank you for your support. 127 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,722 I can't afford to go to college because of you! 128 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,801 That's a lovely dress. 129 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,884 - You're ruining the country! - Yeah, we're all in this together, now. 130 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,481 You got a rough life, bud. 131 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,971 - Sir? - Thank you. 132 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,801 But at least you have a life. 133 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,247 Look, Brenner, you're meant for something more than this. 134 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,926 You just need to channel your genius into something productive. 135 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,360 I mean, you were incredible at video games back in the day, 136 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,164 but that's a useless skill now. 137 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,844 It's like being a great blacksmith. 138 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,169 That hurt, man. That's catatastrophic that you said that. 139 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,685 I'm gonna get you back for that. 140 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,486 Mr. President, if you take away all the libraries, sir, 141 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,449 how will the children ever learn to read? 142 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,087 Blacksmith, over and out. 143 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,890 Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade. 144 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,089 Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs. 145 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,721 Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house? 146 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,564 If I wanna get paid, yes. 147 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,130 Isn't that kind of demeaning? 148 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,690 Only if someone brings it up. 149 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,128 - Okay, I won't bring it up, then. - Thanks. 150 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,766 Come on in. 151 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,761 So, what am I installing? 152 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,889 A new 85-inch, 4K, 3D TV, 153 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,089 PlayStation 4, 7.1 surround-sound speakers. 154 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,604 Really, if you guys sell it, we've probably bought it. 155 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,446 Is it your birthday? 156 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,000 No, my parents are getting a divorce. 157 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,126 So it's like 10 birthdays. 158 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,524 Yeah, my dad cheated on my mom with his 19-year-old Pilates instructor. 159 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,364 Her name's Sinnamon, with an "S" 160 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,841 which really tells you all you need to know about her. 161 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,296 No, I could hear a little more. You got any pictures? 162 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,765 I'm kiddin'. I'm sorry to hear that. 163 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,524 My mom kind of hates him right now. 164 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,241 And she says she's gonna invent a slut-seeking missile to take out Sinnamon. 165 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,370 Okay, Matty, you don't need to tell the nice installer man our whole life. 166 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,121 Whoa. 167 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,044 I'm sorry, "Whoa"? 168 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,606 - What? - No, just you. Whoa. 169 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,241 Me? Whoa? I don't even know what that means. 170 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,645 I mean, it's just, when your son told me that your husband left you for a 19-year-old, 171 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,409 I guess I thought you were gonna be, like 172 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,881 one of those "hot when we first met in high school, 173 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,010 "but then let herself go and got a potbelly and turkey neck 174 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,451 "with a hairy chin." 175 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,684 But clearly that's not the case. 176 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,125 So more like, 177 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,682 "Whoa, I should have brushed my teeth before I left the house this morning." 178 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,081 Or studio apartment, if we're getting real here. 179 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,401 Did you really not brush your teeth this morning? 180 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,206 No, I did. 181 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,487 I guess I should just start settin' this stuff up right now. 182 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,331 Go get 'em. 183 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,330 Colonel Devereux. 184 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,084 You need to see this, sir. 185 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,291 We're under attack. 186 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,804 What the hell are those things? 187 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,364 So are you a gamer? 188 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,401 Yeah. 189 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,528 I played when I was your age. 190 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,485 Were you any good? 191 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,962 I was pretty good at some of the classic games. 192 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,441 Classics. You mean like Halo and Call of Duty. 193 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,727 No! The real classics. 194 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,923 Defender, Pac-Man, Asteroids. 195 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,889 Games you played in an arcade 196 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,406 which was a building outside of your house. 197 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,371 You would go there with your friends, listen to music, cute girls everywhere. 198 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,091 In ancient times, they called it "socializing." 199 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,326 What are you guys talking about? 200 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,211 - Video games. - Video games. 201 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,687 I'll be right back. 202 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,090 Mrs. Van Patten. 203 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,764 All finished up down there. 204 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,842 I need you to sign the work order. 205 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,967 Okay. 206 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,646 Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet? 207 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,881 Yes. 208 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,404 Not judging, but what are you doin' in the closet? 209 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,810 I'm mostly crying. 210 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,450 A little drinking. 211 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,721 Probably equally crying and drinking. 212 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,610 Something I do often, also. 213 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,523 But why in the closet? 214 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,531 Because I don't want Matty to see me. 215 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,844 I'm comin' in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. 216 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,209 I'm opening the door. 217 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,690 Are you all right? 218 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,206 I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet drinking Chardonnay out of a sippy cup. 219 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,850 So I guess not. 220 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,207 Sorry. I withdraw the question. 221 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,002 God. 222 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,081 - Wanna talk about it? - No. 223 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,281 Yes! 224 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,771 Yes. 225 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,364 God. 226 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:15,568 Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force! 227 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,642 Activate the QRF. 228 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,968 Mama! No! 229 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,089 We were high-school sweethearts. The perfect couple. 230 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,084 Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall? 231 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,640 - I mean, a freaking waterfall. - Smooth. 232 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,166 But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago, 233 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,164 he's marrying a 19-year-old named after a spice. 234 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,963 It's not even spelled correctly. 235 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,323 It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. 236 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,765 God. I hear that. 237 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,202 I was supposed to have a baby with my ex-wife. 238 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,760 And the doctor who was helping us make the baby 239 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,444 did help us make the baby. 240 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,522 But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the room. 241 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,571 Maybe this really is all for the best. 242 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,531 How do you mean? 243 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,888 You already married the wrong guy. You got the worst part over with. 244 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,926 True, and you married the wrong girl. 245 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,843 Maybe it just means we're gonna meet the right person now. 246 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,161 Yeah. 247 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,046 Yeah. 248 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,249 Are you trying to kiss me? 249 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,526 Absolutely not. 250 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,886 God. 251 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,649 Sorry, I thought we were having a moment. 252 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,688 We were. A moment. 253 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,721 Look, you seem like a very nice guy, but I just met you, okay? 254 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,211 And, no offense, 255 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,921 I don't think my rebound guy is a 210-pound person 256 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,810 that installs flat screens for a living. 257 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,408 First of all, 208. 258 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,882 And, wow, I didn't peg you as the snobby type. 259 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,724 Snob? Me? 260 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,211 Okay. 261 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,691 I am not a snob. 262 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,766 Okay, well, let's just say I was a billionaire, and we were out on my giant yacht 263 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,486 in the middle of the Mediterranean, sipping champagne, 264 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,846 and I went in to kiss you. 265 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,360 Would you have kissed me back, then? 266 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,008 Hold that thought, snobby. 267 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,891 Big Man! 268 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,769 Can you get to the White House right now? 269 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,524 I'll be there in 15. 270 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,886 While I'd love to stick around 271 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,123 and listen to you lie about not wanting to make out with the yacht guy, 272 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,201 I have to go. 273 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,567 For the record, I'm an amazing kisser. 274 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,880 All us nerds are. 275 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,008 'Cause we appreciate it more. 276 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,644 You didn't even brush your teeth this morning. 277 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,324 I ate a Tic Tac. 278 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,410 Too late, sweetheart. You had your shot and ya blew it. 279 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,010 I'm not following you. 280 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,482 Yeah, whatever you say, stalky. It's over. Deal with it. 281 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,569 Whoa, she went from zero to psycho in 3.4 seconds, 282 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,801 a new world record. 283 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,481 Hey, Steve-O. 284 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,848 There's a crazy woman following me. I guarantee she's here to shoot the President. 285 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,002 And if I were you, I'd break out the billy club 286 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,923 and go full throttle on her, seriously. 287 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,729 Go right on through, Lieutenant Colonel. 288 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,207 - Why are you following me? - God. 289 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,727 God. I can't believe they even let you in here. 290 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,881 Right. 291 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,003 Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room. 292 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,449 See, they need me in the Situation Room, so have fun doing whatever you're doing. 293 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,649 Mr. Brenner, the President is waiting for you in the Oval Office. 294 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,004 Somebody's more important. 295 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,889 Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? 296 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,805 Yo, wassup? 297 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,121 Come on, you couldn't have at least changed? 298 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,089 You told me to rush right over. 299 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,084 What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there? 300 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,242 Our Air Force base in Guam was attacked. 301 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,526 By who? 302 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,216 I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. 303 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,402 Come here. Check this out. 304 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,165 - Me? - Yes, you. Come here. 305 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,250 Listen to this. 306 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,202 Does that sound familiar to you? 307 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,647 Yeah. Where do I know that from? 308 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,203 - Can you freeze it? - Yeah, hold on. 309 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,605 Go in tighter. 310 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,883 - That can't be real. - So you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing. 311 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,048 What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers? 312 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,402 - They're ready for you, Mr. President. - Great. 313 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,696 Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. 314 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,006 Listen, do me a favor, Sam. 315 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,241 Watch that again, okay? 316 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,085 And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out. 317 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,924 Yeah. Can I sit in your chair? 318 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,650 No, you can't, and everything's recorded. 319 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,326 Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. 320 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,681 I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break. 321 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,528 Mr. President, we told the press that it was an advanced weapons test that misfired. 322 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,841 - So there's no mass panic yet. - Well, good. 323 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,968 Then let's solve this thing before there is. 324 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,776 Mr. President, someone's made a major breakthrough in drone technology 325 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,847 and it wasn't us. 326 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,456 This has got Moscow's fingerprints all over it. 327 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,165 Nonsense! It's an Iranian black-ops sideshow. 328 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,241 I guarantee it. 329 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,721 I have a theory. 330 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,326 I think, based on analysis of the footage, 331 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,325 that preliminary indications are that we were attacked by 332 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,441 Galaga. 333 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,846 By who, sir? 334 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,731 Galaga. 335 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,410 Sons of bitches. 336 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,247 Then let's blow Galaga to hell. 337 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,521 Who's Galaga? 338 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:37,045 It's an old-timey video game, '80s kind of folks like my dad used to play. 339 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,920 Mr. President, there is no nation on Earth that has the military technology 340 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,844 to simply pixelate entire buildings. 341 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:44,921 Except Iran. 342 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,366 Forget Iran! 343 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,886 I'm thinking this is a cutting-edge multinational enterprise. 344 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,406 An NGO, a think tank, maybe even a corporation. 345 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,847 We're thinkin' Iran when we should be thinking Google. 346 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,971 So let's blow up Google. 347 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,366 Can somebody take Grandpa's keys away before he drives us into a ditch? 348 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,843 - Who is this person? - The sandwich guy? 349 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,684 This here is my old arcade game technical 350 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,167 advisor person-guy. 351 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,008 Sam Brenner. He works in the tech sector. 352 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,844 So Caltech, MIT? 353 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,285 MIT. Yes. 354 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,601 Mississippi Institute of Technology, though. 355 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,856 Not the one you were thinking of. 356 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,405 Anyway, more to the current point, 357 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,086 Mr. Brenner here was the World Galaga Champion. 358 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,561 He knows everything there is to know about this game. 359 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,644 So, what is it you and your orange shorts barged in here to say? 360 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,610 Just the Galaga that attacked us, 361 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,603 that doesn't exist anymore. 362 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,571 Hello. You can download Galaga on your phone for $1.99. 363 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,320 Yeah, not this version though, Blue Lagoon. 364 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,121 The Galaga that exists now came out in 1986. 365 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,726 But this is the 1982 arcade version. 366 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,491 And all those machines, they recalled them, they reprogrammed them, 367 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,416 because there were glitches in the original code. 368 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,728 You can see from the giant space bugs, the way they come swoopin' in. 369 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,086 Kind of ziggy-zaggy. 370 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,560 Ziggy-zag? Is that the snobby term? 371 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,162 So someone designed these space bugs 372 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,801 after an old out-of-print version of a video game from 30 years ago 373 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,166 that nobody would know today? 374 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,120 Does she really get to talk twice? She's not even at the grown-ups table. 375 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,523 I'm sorry. Is this a National Security Council meeting, 376 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,965 or a dorm-room drug party? 377 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,201 Our nation has just been attacked by an unknown military force. 378 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,681 If this gets out to the press that we're pinning the blame 379 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,250 on some old computer game, 380 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,211 they'll not only mock you in the news, Mr. President, they'd impeach you! 381 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,890 So I suggest the man in the orange shorts leave the room immediately. 382 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,767 And those of us with long pants and government positions 383 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,650 can discuss our options. 384 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,561 All right, Brenner. Do me a favor. Take off, all right? I appreciate the help. 385 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,881 Bye! 386 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,767 Sorry, everybody. 387 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,285 Mr. President. 388 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,960 Generals and Admirals. 389 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,326 Guys in suits. 390 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,406 Zac Efron. 391 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,687 Gandalf, 392 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,842 and Harry Potter in the same room. 393 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,121 Imagine that. 394 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,683 Grandpa, we'll see you around the nursing home. 395 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,806 The sandwich guy is here. 396 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,001 Fooled you. 397 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,843 Past the shortstop into left center field for a single. 398 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,926 That's the second straight inning where Washington has led off with a single. 399 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,083 They're talking about how he's standing straight up over the plate. 400 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,336 That seems to be working out for him, 401 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,091 'cause he just drove that ball into the gap hard. 402 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,766 First pitch taken outside for a ball, 1-0, 403 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,046 and the 1-0 swung... 404 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,121 Brenner! 405 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,603 What's your problem, dude? 406 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,125 What's goin' on? 407 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,447 No, Brenner! 408 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,170 No, Brenner, no, no, no! 409 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,005 Stop! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow. 410 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,162 - Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid? - Yeah. 411 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,287 How'd you get into my van? 412 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,160 I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house. 413 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,281 She's cute, by the way. 414 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,361 What? 415 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,844 - What is that? - This is moisturizer. 416 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,645 Show me what that is. 417 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,166 Chloroform? 418 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,646 Is that what that says? 419 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,131 You were gonna drug me? 420 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,248 - Only as a last resort. - What are you... 421 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,160 - There was something I had to tell you. - Why didn't you call me, then? 422 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,882 Because the CIA has been tapping my phones 423 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,770 ever since I found out the Zapruder film has been edited. 424 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,604 JFK shot first! 425 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,407 Ludlow, it is you! 426 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,927 - Hi, buddy! Let me look at you! - Hey! Good to see you, my boy! 427 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,004 How are you? My goodness! Look at you! 428 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,082 - I know. - Stayin' in shape! 429 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,288 I'm on an all protein diet, but I'm also doing carbs. 430 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,010 - Good. - But seriously, Brenner. 431 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,927 There's something I have to show you. 432 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,048 And let's just say 433 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,724 it's a game changer. 434 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,010 You're the first guest I've had here. Voluntarily. 435 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,286 That's a shocker. 436 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,169 If Lady Lisa was real, 437 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,409 she'd have about 17 restraining orders out on you. 438 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,736 Actually, I think if she was real, 439 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,776 things might just play out a little bit differently. 440 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,529 You wanna know how I know that? 441 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,601 If She Was Real. 442 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,682 A book written and illustrated by Ludlow Lamonsoff. 443 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,847 Boy. 444 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,721 You should sell that at Barnes & Unstable. 445 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,245 - Do you want a copy? - No. 446 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,401 I have eight others. 447 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,046 Why am I here right now? Why did you try to roofie me? 448 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:39,125 Right. Thank you for reminding me. Okay. Follow me. 449 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,642 Earlier today, our military base in Guam was attacked by this guy, Galaga. 450 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,241 How would you know that? 451 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,721 I have a pen pal in Guam. His name is Baubau. 452 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:48,976 Baubau was terribly frightened, 453 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,322 so I hacked into the government's servers to assure Baubau that everything was okay. 454 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,641 But you know what? Everything was not okay. 455 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,568 Ludlow! Did you get me some diet root beer while you were out? 456 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,802 - You remember my grandma. - Sure. 457 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,690 She's still a character after all those years. 458 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,131 No, no, Grandma! It's funny. I didn't get a chance to because... 459 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,884 What happened? I remember now. 460 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,931 I'm trying to save the world from annihilation! 461 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,331 Are you nuts? 462 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,010 You cracker! 463 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,809 Don't yell at me! 464 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,321 So look, I know that sometimes people think of me as a bit of a conspiracy nut. 465 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,401 Right. 466 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,121 But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes 467 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,202 the conspiracies are real. 468 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,768 Have you been playing Space Invaders a lot lately? 469 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,016 I have. How did you know that? 470 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,849 'Cause you're invading my space. Back up. 471 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,416 Brenner, do you remember when we were children, 472 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,841 and we played in that video game championship? 473 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,729 Of course, buddy. 474 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,760 Do you remember how there was a tape of the event 475 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,056 and all the games that were played that was then put in a capsule 476 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,730 and shot out into the universe 477 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,450 looking for extraterrestrial life? 478 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,404 I have reason to believe that some alien life force found that tape 479 00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:00,048 and has sent down real-life versions of what they saw 480 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,360 to attack us. 481 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,011 Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan 482 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,924 searching for messages from the aliens to prove my theory. 483 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,889 - And you wanna know something? - Tell me. 484 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,565 I came up absolutely empty. 485 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,081 So then, as a distraction, I got up 486 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,687 to try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill that I recorded on my VCR last night. 487 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,250 I've been binge-watching to catch up. 488 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,163 And you don't have cable because... 489 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,130 Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner. 490 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,361 That's been proven. 491 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,216 And you don't want them to see you dancin' around 492 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,920 in your underwear for Lady Lisa. I get it. 493 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,486 No, that tape was burned three months ago. Anyway... 494 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,163 In the middle of the UHF broadcast, 495 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,529 something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy shenanigans. 496 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,250 No, you're the freak with the fat... 497 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,409 Inhabitants of Earth, 498 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,366 we are a race from the planet Volula. 499 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,285 We came to you in these familiar Earth forms 500 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,408 to tell we received your vessel. 501 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,802 And in it, your hostile challenge. 502 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,886 We accept your offer to compete in winner-take-all battles. 503 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,682 Gather your bravest warriors to face our bravest warriors! 504 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,723 The winner takes the loser's planet. 505 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,609 You have already lost the first battle. 506 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,121 And for our victory, we have taken a trophy. 507 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,050 I'm okay, Mama. 508 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,171 I love you. 509 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,804 That's not the real Madonna! 510 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,689 You will get three lives. 511 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,125 You have two lives left. 512 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,285 Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet. 513 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,681 The next battle is in 15 hours 514 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,287 at coordinates 27° 24' 79". 515 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,760 Okay, I got lost about halfway through. 516 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,802 Why does Madonna wanna take over our planet? 517 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,726 These moron aliens think that the footage NASA sent up to space 518 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,569 of us playing video games in 1982 519 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,324 was a declaration of war. 520 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:53,327 Intergalactic war, Mr. President. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that unpredictable? 521 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:54,765 Lud, listen. 522 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,922 You helped unscramble my Cinemax when we were kids. 523 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,365 I think you can call me Chewie. 524 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,962 What do they mean by three lives? What is that? 525 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,842 If I may. See, that's just it. 526 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,891 It's like the video games of old, Chewie Mr. President. 527 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,611 One quarter, three lives. 528 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,816 This is clearly not a quarter. This is far more valuable. May I keep this? 529 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,524 - Put it back on the desk. - Fair enough. 530 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,602 We lost the first one, Galaga. 531 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:19,450 Two more losses and... 532 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,760 It's game over. 533 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,410 Now, assuming that... 534 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,562 - You know what, that's not happening. - Fair enough. 535 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,281 Assuming that Alien Madonna's numbers are actually latitude and longitude, 536 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,603 then we can safely assume that the next attack should happen somewhere 537 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,131 in Northern India tonight. 538 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,965 If you can get your guys from the NSA to clean up the signal, 539 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,964 then we can pinpoint exactly where the attack is gonna be, 540 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,123 and maybe even which game they're gonna use to attack us. 541 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,487 I can't authorize a military response 542 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,485 based off a video that looks like it was made by a couple high school kids. 543 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,643 You gotta at least warn the people of India somethin' could be comin'. 544 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,564 The whole country thinks I'm a buffoon right now as it is. 545 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,291 Look, I can't risk it, Brenner. I just can't! 546 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,723 So I guess we've been dating for almost three years now. 547 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,484 Yes, almost three. 548 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,370 They have been the best years of my life. 549 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,686 And I think we have something very special. 550 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,771 Raj, is this what I think it is? 551 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,884 Will you marry me? 552 00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:11,609 Don't sweat the whole Taj Mahal thing. 553 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,616 It's probably better that there's only an even six Wonders of the World now. 554 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,244 You know what? I get it. I screwed up. 555 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:17,970 It won't happen again. Shut up. 556 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,530 Good morning, Mr. President. 557 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,484 What's Radio Shack Robbie doing here? And this other 558 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:24,760 fella. 559 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,962 Hi. Ludlow Lamonsoff. 560 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,976 We've actually met before, but you wouldn't remember 561 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,320 because it was in the back of Brenner's van and I was watching you through a window. 562 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,690 You smell so nice, like the Book of Genesis. 563 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,087 Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner 564 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,164 have agreed to share their video game expertise with you and your team. 565 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,241 Happy to do it. 566 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,401 With all due respect, sir, 567 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,689 having civilians with zero security clearance in this facility is... 568 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,923 These civilians have better insight into our current crisis 569 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,570 than my entire administration. 570 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,126 I dunno if I wanna do it now. She's being so mean. 571 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,376 - I kind of wanna leave. - Okay. 572 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,216 - If he leaves, I leave. We're a team. - Stop it. 573 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,976 - This is how it's gonna be the whole time? - Guys, knock it off. Lead the way. 574 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,206 Of course, Mr. President. 575 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,811 So have we made any progress, Colonel? 576 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,644 Enormous progress, sir. 577 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,644 We now understand the entities that attacked us were made of energy. 578 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:12,960 Intelligent energy. 579 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,046 - Morning, Colonel. - Good morning, Michael. 580 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,087 Michael's a robot! 581 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,448 I think maybe the extraterrestrials took what they saw in the orbiter 582 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,410 and recreated the same things using light energy. 583 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,364 And then sent these light creatures back at us. 584 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,122 That's why solid matter, bullets and missiles, won't harm them. 585 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,361 Can anything harm them? 586 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,680 Maybe. 587 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,211 The cubes we recovered in Guam are normally pretty feisty. 588 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,725 Hey, look at that! 589 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,725 He didn't like it though. 590 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,129 But they calm down pretty quick 591 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,931 when we hit them with some super-charged light particles. 592 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,007 And the slut-seeking missile, I'd love to see that. 593 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,287 - Do you have that around here? - You are so smart. 594 00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,805 Yeah? You think so? 595 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,486 Is that how you got into the Mississippi Institute of Technology? 596 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,847 You know, I wish I never went in that closet with you. 597 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,685 I was very happy drinking and crying by myself. 598 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,171 I so regret trying to kiss you. 599 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,323 I would kiss the guy in the yacht 100 times before I kissed you. 600 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,845 - Moving on. - Yeah. 601 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,206 We have begun instructing the Navy SEAL task force 602 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,964 on the use of the prototype weapons. 603 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,210 - What do we train for? - War! 604 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,850 - Why do we fight? - To win! 605 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,530 - When do we quit? - Never! 606 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,364 - What do we train for? - War! 607 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,090 - Why do we fight? - To win! 608 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,367 - When do we quit? - Never! 609 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:44,162 Perhaps our new expert advisors would like to say a few words to the SEALs. 610 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,921 Boy. 611 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,891 Men, you have served this nation with distinction, 612 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:55,000 in combat zones, in every nook and cranny of this godforsaken world, 613 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,329 defeating every enemy they've thrown at you. 614 00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,721 Hey, what's up? 615 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:01,320 Brenner? 616 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,169 I couldn't get a babysitter. 617 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:09,603 The President has brought in these two civilian Arcaders 618 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,762 who we are required to listen to 619 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:15,005 for 120 seconds, 620 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,361 starting... 621 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,647 - I can't do this. - You can do this. 622 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:19,841 Now! 623 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,570 I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up! 624 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,246 We know how to do this. They don't. Just act the part. 625 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,560 Hey, guys. 626 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,162 How are you? Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro. 627 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:32,323 Hey, fellas. Good to see you. 628 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:36,483 Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner. 629 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,246 And this is the Wonder Kid, also known as... 630 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,522 Your worst nightmare! 631 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,929 Looks to me, Brenner, 632 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,924 like someone forgot to send us the best of the best. 633 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,771 And instead, dropped off a bunch of incontinent, 634 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,968 adult diaper-wearing, 635 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,203 candy-assed, cries-himself-to-sleep, 636 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,760 women-baby-man-people! 637 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,770 What am I lookin' at right now? 638 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,647 Are you guys soldiers? Or the cast of Magic Mike? 639 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:12,451 You gonna fight? Or dance naked? 640 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,284 From now on, 641 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,170 you maggots, you little girl maggots... 642 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:21,811 Whatever the hell the female form of maggot is. 643 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:22,961 Magina? 644 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,565 You magina! 645 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,644 When you magina poop your pants, 646 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,722 you're gonna be thinking of me! 647 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:30,961 In your pants! 648 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,565 You know what I mean. 649 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,084 Do you feel me? 650 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,048 Do you feel me, sailor? 651 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,928 You beautiful Nubian man! 652 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,924 You gorgeous specimen of what God can make! 653 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:47,771 Do you feel me? 654 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,410 I think you're about to feel him, Lud. 655 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:51,401 I can't move. 656 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,003 Lemme help you. Hey, come here. 657 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,162 Sorry. Don't touch the guy. Just sit down. 658 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,520 - Did I do good? - You did awful. 659 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,641 Sit down. 660 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,325 Sorry about that, everybody. 661 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,250 I know it's weird. 662 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,682 Two buffoons like me and this guy giving advice to you badasses. 663 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,048 But the truth is we've been training. 664 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,846 Since childhood, we've been training our prefrontal cortex 665 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,129 to perform extremely complex motor feats 666 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:22,411 with hand-eye coordination unique to a very specific cognitive acuity. 667 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,290 I learned a lot of big words at the dorm-room drug parties. 668 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,168 All of it's been meaningless in all areas of our life. 669 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:35,287 But suddenly, it might be comin' in handy to saving our planet. 670 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,486 So we're hopin' you guys can forget about us bein' civilian morons, 671 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,121 and let us teach you a few things in the little time we have. 672 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,490 I think we might help you win this thing. 673 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,966 There is only one objective in Asteroids. 674 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:55,409 That is to destroy every rock and every saucer. 675 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,450 You don't wanna get hit by any of these boulders. 676 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,410 That's why I recommend stayin' in the middle. 677 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,926 Just 'cause you see a hammer doesn't mean grab it. 678 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,056 You're not gonna climb a ladder with a hammer in your hand. 679 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,889 - Very good. - Good piloting, Maverick! 680 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:10,966 Don't lock into radar. 681 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,008 Okay, it's fine, son. It's fine. 682 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,162 You just blew up our entire planet. 683 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,767 Ain't no way Inky's catching up to you! 684 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:24,007 I want you to focus mostly on the ships. 685 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,687 Every 10,000 points, you get another triangle ship. 686 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,524 That's a good thing. 687 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,841 Damn. 688 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,362 He's still the master. 689 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:39,206 This is just like when we were dating. No distractions, just us. 690 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:40,926 And cake. 691 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,010 Big Man. Settle down there with that butterscotch frosting. 692 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,969 What? Too much? Well, you know what? 693 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,805 You're really not gonna like what I do with the rainbow sprinkles. 694 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,804 - Come on now! No! I love it! - Will! No! 695 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,723 Here comes the sprinkle monster! 696 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,041 Mr. President. 697 00:40:58,640 --> 00:40:59,721 Yes, Jennifer. 698 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,963 We just received an alien transmission from the "Where's the Beef?" lady. 699 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,087 What did she say? 700 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,401 First of all, she asked where the beef was. 701 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,484 Then she said that the next battle was on at sundown tomorrow. 702 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,087 5130' 29 " latitude. 09' 42" longitude. 703 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:14,207 Where is that? 704 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,605 Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move! 705 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,445 Clear the area! 706 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,525 The lot of ya, come on! Move it! 707 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,204 I said, move it! 708 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,851 - What's all this then, mate? - Hey, I got this. Hi. 709 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,206 We're Americans. 710 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,416 Our Navy SEALs were given permission by your government 711 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,284 to prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion, 712 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,842 which we believe will occur at these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes. 713 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,360 We're shootin' a beer commercial. 714 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,648 Right, then. Break a leg, then, yeah? 715 00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,362 What was that, man? Why'd you lie to him? 716 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,125 I'm trying not to cause total panic, Yank. 717 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:21,961 And, you... 718 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,522 I don't want to hear another word out of you. All right? 719 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:29,965 You walkin' wiener coat. 720 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,802 What's a wiener coat? 721 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,041 Madam Prime Minister, I can't thank you enough for your cooperation on this. 722 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,730 But of course, Will. 723 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,087 Well, I trust with the concord of our powers 724 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,891 we can duff up the jiggery-pokery of these blighters 725 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,809 and send them scuffering back 726 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,207 to the fractious firmament from whence they came! 727 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,281 I know, right? 728 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,160 Bang on! 729 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,004 No idea what she just said. 730 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,008 I just wanna touch it. 731 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:07,770 Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have any backups. 732 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,602 These ray guns gonna work, Van Patten? 733 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,136 We had no way to field-test them, sir. 734 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,766 But our computer models show a great likelihood of effectiveness. 735 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,481 "Great likelihood"? You're sending my men into battle with untested ordnance? 736 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,723 I had two days to do things never done before on this planet, sir. 737 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,521 Just remember who you're talking to, missy. 738 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:26,601 All right! 739 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:31,208 Anybody who doesn't need to be here, follow me to the support area. 740 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,690 That means you two nipple-twisters. 741 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,567 Move it! 742 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,206 Hey, Colonel. Don't worry. They're gonna work. 743 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,808 The US military was attacked and what does President Cooper do? 744 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,042 His critics say, "Nothing." 745 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,283 That's not strictly true. He made a cake. 746 00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,283 No, because I'm the sprinkle monster! 747 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,084 You are my sprinkle monster! 748 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,721 - Let's put that on pause, Sean. - Thank you. 749 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,051 Turn it off. 750 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:05,891 Apologies, Will. 751 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,042 Just wanted to spend some quality time with the wife. 752 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,531 I understand. 753 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,649 My husband actually said that we don't spend time together like we used to, 754 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,486 so I took him to one of those do-it-yourself pottery studios. 755 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:22,406 And he made me a "World's Sexiest Prime Minister" coffee mug. 756 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,810 Well, maybe he sees somethin' that nobody else does, you know. 757 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,602 Anything, Colonel Van Patten? 758 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,321 It's eerily quiet, Mr. President. 759 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,056 In case it's Space Invaders, 760 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,176 I just thought of something I should tell... 761 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,009 Please return to the support area! 762 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,282 Okay, but there's a 5 plus 1 formation, all right? 763 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,842 If we need ya, we know where to find ya. All right? 764 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,325 Now, bugger off. 765 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,291 Bloody geek. 766 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,050 It's Centipede. 767 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,764 Okay, boys! Do exactly what we talked about! 768 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,081 Shoot each centipede from the head down! 769 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:53,051 Do not hit him in the middle or he will split into two! 770 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,204 No! No! Didn't we just say don't split him in half? 771 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:13,486 Shoot for the head! 772 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,688 The mushroom things are in the way! 773 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,888 You shoot the mushroom things! Like the game! 774 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,121 Guys, every time he hits a mushroom, he's gonna change direction! 775 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,442 My God! Will you please find the pattern and anticipate! 776 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,568 I don't know the patterns! 777 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,483 Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock! 778 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,246 What the hell kind of beer commercial is this? 779 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:58,408 If I say it's a beer commercial, it's a bloody beer commercial. 780 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,410 Get your flabby ass back here, Yank! 781 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,371 Shock and awe, baby! 782 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,204 High score, alien trash! 783 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,770 You messed with the wrong planet! 784 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,842 From Land's End to John o'Groats! 785 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,366 - What the hell are you saying? - I don't know! 786 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:47,291 Hey, Ludlow! Grab a light cannon! Get out here now! I need your help! 787 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,886 Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious! 788 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,440 They'll gobble me up like space dim sum! 789 00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:56,051 It's level two! 790 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,407 We're the only ones who can do this! 791 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,363 Come on! You're the Wonder Kid! 792 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,484 You have no authority to dispense weapons here, Mr. Brenner! 793 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,131 Mr. President? 794 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,882 Let the nerds take over. 795 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,050 What was that, sir? 796 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,407 Let the nerds take over! 797 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,724 Let the nerds take over! 798 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,805 Brenner's right. 799 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,810 I am the Wonder Kid. 800 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:42,446 This is the best, huh? 801 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,570 I've never been happier and more alive! 802 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,725 Okay. You can let go of each other now. 803 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,488 All right, you finish that. I'll finish this. 804 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,966 It's been 30 years since I kicked your butt, and it's gonna happen again! 805 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,651 With the arms! 806 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,571 Let's take it forward. 807 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:55,930 Then take it back. 808 00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,930 - Enjoy it! - Hey! 809 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,601 Come here! 810 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,081 You little... 811 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,606 Who are you, mister? 812 00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,650 Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games. 813 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,441 Well, thank God for that. 814 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:30,609 Drinks are on the US government! 815 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,884 Which is covering up the truth 816 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,440 about the ancient pyramid under the Hoover Dam! 817 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,176 You know, you're all right, Brenner. 818 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,123 You're all right too, snobby. 819 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,936 You gonna nurse that all night long, or when are you gonna start hittin' it? 820 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,361 We ding up a few foreign belligerents, beer is fine. 821 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,687 We defeat a full-on alien invasion, 822 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,604 I'm thinking something a little stronger. 823 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:58,929 No. You're really challenging me to drink you under the table? You got it. 824 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,968 I'm not so sure you can, buddy. 825 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,806 I was the vodka shot record holder in my class at West Point. 826 00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,121 Well, one time I drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's, 827 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,884 so we'll see what happens. 828 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,203 Where are my gamers at? 829 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,849 Looks like all the time you wasted when we were kids is finally payin' off. 830 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,763 - Yeah, baby. - All right, huh? 831 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,047 Sir, may I have the honor of pouring you a frosty? 832 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,404 The President can't be seen drinking during times of crisis. 833 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,806 So nobody look! 834 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,769 That's it. Look away! 835 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,249 Inhabitants of Earth. 836 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,881 Congratulations, you have won this battle. 837 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:37,529 Please accept one of our warriors as a trophy of your victory. 838 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,601 The next challenge will not be as easy. 839 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,650 The details will be sent via this signal shortly. 840 00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:55,520 Remember, we are still leading two battles to one. 841 00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,285 One more loss for you will mean the annihilation of your world. 842 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,966 Good luck and may the best planet win. 843 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,647 Well, you heard 'em. 844 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,206 Let's get back to work. 845 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,216 We gotta get you guys ready for your next battle. 846 00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,651 Battle? Us? Huh? 847 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:13,290 This is like a regular thing now? 848 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,240 Remember when I told you that you were meant for something more in life? 849 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,560 Yeah. 850 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,324 This could be it, buddy. 851 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,323 There's nobody better than you. 852 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,401 Well, 853 00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:24,891 not at every game. 854 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,131 No. No! Never gonna happen. 855 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,406 You know, he's right, Brenner. 856 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,080 We don't even know where to find that idiot! 857 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,170 Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times, 858 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,767 declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004. 859 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,161 In 2005, he was caught hacking cell phone companies 860 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,576 and adding one of those fees you see on your bill every month, 861 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,336 - but have no idea what it is. - What an idiot. 862 00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,536 Made about 50 million before he was convicted and sentenced 863 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,449 to 20 years in prison. 864 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,761 Guards, get me outta here. 865 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,241 It's that mean Centipede killer. 866 00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,529 I hope he don't zap me with his space gun. 867 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,090 How are you, Eddie? 868 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,049 'Sup, Second Place? 869 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,407 And your sidekick here, 870 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,766 Presi-donut. 871 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,405 I didn't know you can have an approval rating so catatastrophic. 872 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,370 - Okay, look, Eddie, here's what we need. - I know what you need. 873 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,568 You need the Fire Blaster. 874 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,926 Who's the Fire Blaster? 875 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,731 Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns. 876 00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,601 Yeah. That's right. The one you made up for yourself. 877 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,250 Who cares who made it up? 878 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,924 It's totally tubular! 879 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,001 Yeah. 880 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:40,086 See, this is why I don't think I can have Brenner on my team. 881 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,730 He's just not really a gamer. 882 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,485 Break out a bag of quarters. Pick a game. I'll destroy you at it. 883 00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,528 I'll pick a game, all right. 884 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,404 - Okay. I'm leaving. - No, no, no. Hey, here, come on. 885 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,561 Sit down. 886 00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:55,404 Okay, in exchange for helping us, 887 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,326 I will personally speak to the parole board about reducing your sentence. 888 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,642 - Pass. - Pass? 889 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,128 That deal don't work for Eddie Plant. 890 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,488 You want the Fire Blaster's help, he has some demands. 891 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,080 Demands? 892 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,402 The Bifocal Blaster is here, by the way. 893 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:27,681 I want an island. 894 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,921 Oh, my God. 895 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,844 There are 18,617 named islands 896 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,446 that are part of the United States and its territories. 897 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,763 Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones, 898 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,684 like the soon-to-be-called Edwahii. 899 00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:42,566 You're not getting an island. 900 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,523 Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good. 901 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,524 And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like, 902 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:50,721 forever. 903 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,883 And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum, 904 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,725 I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world." 905 00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,929 I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum. 906 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,282 And I want a stealth-attack helicopter, like they fly over the Super Bowl 907 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,362 at my disposal, at all times. 908 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,124 You know, so I can fly around. 909 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:12,562 If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more. 910 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,171 And lastly, 911 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,847 I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous 912 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,328 between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart 913 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,880 in the Lincoln Bedroom. 914 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:29,124 Number one. You're not getting a helicopter or any sort of flying or driving vehicle. 915 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,561 Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government 916 00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,160 could do without your income taxes and be fine. 917 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:38,768 And number three. If you help us beat these things, 918 00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,808 I think we can get you outta here. 919 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,526 And the Martha-Serena sandwich? 920 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,088 Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee. 921 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:48,924 Serena Williams. And we are closed. 922 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:53,921 Hello? 923 00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,691 I understand. 924 00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,049 It's happening tonight. 925 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,201 Where? 926 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:02,281 New York City. 927 00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,650 Fuhgeddaboutit! 928 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,045 Hello, Big Apple. 929 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,851 The cavalry has arrived. 930 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,090 Thanks for comin'. 931 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,289 We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes. 932 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,089 We hope you can do the same for us. 933 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,845 We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with? 934 00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,851 Over here. 935 00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,729 Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw. 936 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,604 It was awful. 937 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,206 It was like one of those monster movies, you know? 938 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:00,361 But this time 939 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,965 the monster was real. 940 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,963 And who was this monster? 941 00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:06,760 Pac-Man. 942 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,763 Pac-Man? Boom. That's my jam. 943 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,816 Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back 944 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,285 to whatever planet it came from. 945 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,761 No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac-Man. 946 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,330 Those little ghosts do. 947 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,801 Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts. 948 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,484 You want ghosts? 949 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,530 She's got ghosts. 950 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,443 We used the energy force-field technology from the cube 951 00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,444 to develop four mini-generators for each of the cars. 952 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:39,520 Ghosts. 953 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:42,888 We're calling them XM950 attack modules. 954 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,530 Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts 955 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,080 'cause we'll never remember what you just said. 956 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,921 Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth? 957 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,402 May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani. 958 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,564 The creator of Pac-Man. 959 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,165 You speak Japanese? 960 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,571 No. 961 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:17,961 Sir, what an honor. 962 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,327 Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives. 963 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:21,880 Awesome. 964 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,565 I made your game my bitch. 965 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,123 What is a 966 00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:32,440 "bitch"? 967 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,124 Don't worry about it. He's a criminal. 968 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,563 - You all right? - Yeah. 969 00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:45,008 Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules of the game like they did with Centipede, 970 00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,926 if you guys hit Pac-Man three times with this energy field, we win. 971 00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,163 Ludlow's right. You do smell good. 972 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,810 - Good luck. - Yeah. 973 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,841 Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates 974 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,604 to each of your car's GPSes. 975 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,131 Let's locate and eliminate. 976 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:17,606 Come on, guys. 977 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,002 Pac-Man's a bad guy? 978 00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:45,849 Pac-Man is not bad! 979 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,842 I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world. 980 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,206 They have brainwashed him! 981 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:57,651 Deep down, he's kind, gentle. 982 00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,202 Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with. 983 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:08,880 You'll see. 984 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,441 Professor Iwatani, get back in the car! 985 01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,488 Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'? 986 01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,006 I will talk to him. He's my son! 987 01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,491 No, that's a bad idea. 988 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,525 Hello, 989 01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,208 my sweet little boy. 990 01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,003 Look how big you've grown! 991 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,569 I'm so proud of you. 992 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,367 It's so sweet. He's so sweet. 993 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,641 But all these destructive things you're doing, 994 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,006 it's wrong. 995 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,444 I'm your father. 996 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:54,760 I know 997 01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:56,406 you're a good boy. 998 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,206 No! 999 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,364 Somebody kill this stupid bitch! 1000 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:16,761 That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there. 1001 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:21,291 All right, losers! 1002 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,491 It's three on one. 1003 01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:24,921 Let's hit it. 1004 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,802 Pac-Man's faster than I remember. 1005 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,327 Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. 1006 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,562 We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass. 1007 01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,363 Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. 1008 01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:20,488 I'll stay with Big Yellow. 1009 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,482 Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast? 1010 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,523 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs. 1011 01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,321 Nope! 1012 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:37,961 What's up? 1013 01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,010 Yeah! 1014 01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:50,201 Good one, Eddie. 1015 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:53,440 One down. 1016 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,567 Two to go! 1017 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,451 All right, Pac-Man Number Two 1018 01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,251 just regenerated four streets away headed northbound. 1019 01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,768 Turn east at the next intersection. 1020 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:09,001 Brenner, go straight. 1021 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,287 Got it. 1022 01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,725 Ludlow, go left. 1023 01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,050 Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left. 1024 01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:18,281 We got him! 1025 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,203 He's got nowhere to go! 1026 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,127 Oh, God. No! 1027 01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:29,321 "Oh, God. No," what? 1028 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,686 He ate the power pellet. 1029 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,127 Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us. 1030 01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:37,885 Why me? 1031 01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,449 God. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. 1032 01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:48,931 Please, please, don't eat me! 1033 01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,562 Guys! Help! 1034 01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,768 I'm gonna die a virgin! 1035 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,611 Why are you doing this to me? 1036 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:20,483 You've been brainwashed! 1037 01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,166 You're a good boy! 1038 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,442 Ludlow, run! Pump your legs! Go, baby! 1039 01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,970 Attaboy, Eddie! 1040 01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:36,171 You just got fire-blasted, sucka. 1041 01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:40,961 What? 1042 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:43,801 How the hell did he get over there so fast? 1043 01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,841 Way to go, champ. 1044 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,367 Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place? 1045 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:51,529 Yeah, thrilled. 1046 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,206 One more to go and it's happy hour. 1047 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,531 So I guess they're just leaving me here. 1048 01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,161 Now it's time for the hat trick. 1049 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:28,327 Wow! 1050 01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:30,324 Brenner, it's on you. 1051 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,971 There are still three other power pellets out there. 1052 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,530 So stay alert. 1053 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:35,801 I got this. 1054 01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:37,925 If I don't, 1055 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:39,684 the world ends. 1056 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:41,365 Can't let that happen. 1057 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,682 Come on, Brenner. Come on. 1058 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:52,244 Brenner, he's leading you directly towards one of the power pellets. 1059 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,765 Get out of there. 1060 01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:02,681 One. 1061 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:04,361 What the hell is he doing? 1062 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:06,801 Two. 1063 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:10,168 Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I'd like to see grow up. 1064 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,049 Three. You'll see your boy grow up. 1065 01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,447 Four. 1066 01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,251 Brenner, get out! He's going to eat you! 1067 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:22,447 Five. 1068 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,001 Six. 1069 01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:29,087 Seven. 1070 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,326 Eight. 1071 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,841 Nine. 1072 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,247 Ten. 1073 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:54,289 You did it! Brenner! That's the one, baby! 1074 01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:06,805 He's over here! 1075 01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,327 Fire Blaster, I love you! 1076 01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:35,966 Hey, guys! 1077 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,850 Sorry. Coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes. Sorry. 1078 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,001 Hey! 1079 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:41,367 Hey. 1080 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,200 Check it out. 1081 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,925 I think I might have found our next trophy. 1082 01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:52,651 It's Q*bert. 1083 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:55,007 Yeah, I know! I know. 1084 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:57,126 Can I kill it? 1085 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,326 No! 1086 01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:01,563 Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. 1087 01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:02,966 And then we'll kill him. 1088 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,411 - I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him. - Bye. 1089 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:08,965 - Mr. President! - Mr. President! 1090 01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,280 - Yes, Hal. - Mr. President, 1091 01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:13,921 your approval ratings have tripled since this crisis began. 1092 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,049 Do you feel the heretofore sanguine causata 1093 01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:19,327 are tracking toward an auspicious denouement? 1094 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,610 Shut up, Hal. 1095 01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,445 You're just using big words to try to make him look like an idiot. 1096 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,211 We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us. 1097 01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:32,323 Please, don't thank me. 1098 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:35,882 It's Sam Brenner and his team who have brought us here to the brink of victory. 1099 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,400 And we understand you're holding a soirée in their honor. 1100 01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:41,848 Is that a good idea when another attack may be imminent? 1101 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,161 No need to worry. 1102 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,210 They will have their Arcader uniforms on underneath their tuxes, 1103 01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,362 ready to go at a moment's notice. 1104 01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,245 And for the record, Hal, 1105 01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,369 I happen to know what several of those big words meant. 1106 01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:57,726 I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to México. 1107 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,609 Bite on that, Hal! 1108 01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,724 You! You! You! You! You! 1109 01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,722 I don't know what would be worse. 1110 01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,085 Them failing, 1111 01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:18,166 or them actually pulling this off. 1112 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:19,651 What was that, Jim? 1113 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,087 Can you shut up for five seconds? 1114 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,802 We need to increase the rate of fire. 1115 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,929 Now you already calculated that in your beautiful mind, didn't you? 1116 01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,768 There's no rhyme or reason to this game. 1117 01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:39,163 I mean, where are the patterns? He just attacks out of left field. 1118 01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:42,289 Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede? 1119 01:09:42,440 --> 01:09:43,805 You memorized the patterns? 1120 01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,689 Yeah. Only way to beat these things. 1121 01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,843 Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers. 1122 01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:50,206 Where's the fun in that? 1123 01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:52,009 Boy. Why? What do you do? 1124 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:55,164 You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1125 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,881 Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time. 1126 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,167 Well, that's why you have your reset button. 1127 01:10:01,480 --> 01:10:03,642 Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up. 1128 01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,088 Most violent game I've ever seen. 1129 01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,844 I don't think it's healthy for you. 1130 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,081 It's fine. I can handle it. 1131 01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,447 No, I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to homeboy. 1132 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,326 So much blood! 1133 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,007 Yeah. Hey. You know what'll cheer you up? 1134 01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:20,969 - A cheese ball. - Yep. 1135 01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:23,645 Come on, suck one up. 1136 01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:25,961 Take a handful. 1137 01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:31,203 That was smooth. That was very smooth. 1138 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,169 You know, we should get him some exercise. 1139 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,136 Maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit? 1140 01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:37,401 Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline! 1141 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:38,925 Okay. How about me and him do that 1142 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:42,049 while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night? 1143 01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,647 Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother. 1144 01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:46,490 Bullcrap. 1145 01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:48,210 You're right, I am. Okay. 1146 01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:49,850 Here. Finish these. 1147 01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,010 You're gettin' chubby. 1148 01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:55,966 Hi. 1149 01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:57,687 Hi. 1150 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,161 So... 1151 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:02,526 So... 1152 01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:10,726 Sorry! 1153 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,962 Again! Again! Again! Again! 1154 01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:17,771 So I'm feeling obligated to make an appearance at that thing tomorrow night. 1155 01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:19,649 I was wondering, when you got there, 1156 01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:23,441 if possibly you'd like to hang out with me while I was there? 1157 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,887 - Like a date? - Like a date, but... Yeah. 1158 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,405 I dunno about that. 1159 01:11:27,480 --> 01:11:29,801 I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so... 1160 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,087 Well, you know, you are and you do, 1161 01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,686 but I'm willin' to overlook that for the evening. 1162 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:36,200 Okay. 1163 01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:37,526 You will? 1164 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:52,731 Three, four. 1165 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:58,161 - Thank you. Thank you. - Thanks. 1166 01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:00,049 Nice welcome, for a change, huh? 1167 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,371 Bring it down, Travolta. Bring it down. 1168 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:14,084 They love the Big Man! Good to see the respect, pal. 1169 01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:19,131 Well, lookie here, Serena. 1170 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:21,680 They threw me a big party to thank me for savin' the world. 1171 01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:24,368 And you get to stand next to me all night. 1172 01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:26,723 - Champagne, sir? - Thanks. 1173 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:29,441 They promised me an island if I did this. 1174 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:31,923 I'm dying to meet Sam's new ladyfriend. 1175 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,765 She's nothin'. It's just a little hangin' out thing. 1176 01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:35,966 Yeah, right. 1177 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:37,685 Is she pretty, Will? 1178 01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:40,961 Define pretty. I mean, you're pretty. 1179 01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,169 - Extremely pretty. - Thank you. 1180 01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:47,370 She, I think, in the classical sense of the word, is certainly... I mean, I feel... 1181 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:50,205 - Brenner, help me out here. - No, you're doing great. Keep going. 1182 01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,926 You know, she, for military personnel, certainly. I mean... 1183 01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:56,764 You're the First Lady, 1184 01:12:56,920 --> 01:12:58,365 she's a 10. 1185 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:04,966 Hey, Brenner. 1186 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:08,490 Hey, Brenner. 1187 01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:11,488 Excuse me for a second. 1188 01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,526 Come on, Matty. Let's dance! 1189 01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:21,285 You look nice in a tux. 1190 01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,481 Green's officially my favorite color now. 1191 01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:27,050 I have a question for you. 1192 01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:30,647 President said I'm on call tonight, so I can only have half a beer. 1193 01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:34,564 I know you like drinkin' out of sippy cups, 1194 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,170 but wanna split a bottle with me? 1195 01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:39,566 What happened? 1196 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,287 - You brushed your teeth. - Yes! 1197 01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:43,521 All right. Lead the way. 1198 01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:44,761 You got it. 1199 01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:09,887 So let's hear about Sinnamon. What does she look like? 1200 01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:12,008 - God. Are you kidding? - I wanna know. 1201 01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:15,050 She's a husband-stealing Pilates teacher. She's hot! 1202 01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:16,487 And limber. 1203 01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:18,441 That doesn't matter. 1204 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,568 Yes! Actually, it does. 1205 01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:22,564 She's not perfect, though, right? 1206 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,529 Girls like that who steal husbands, 1207 01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:26,962 they always got one thing wrong with them. 1208 01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:28,321 Come on. 1209 01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,441 - Her forehead's too big? - No. 1210 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:32,931 - Mole on the chin? - No. 1211 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,809 - Two different nostrils? - No! 1212 01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:37,690 She's flawless. 1213 01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:39,246 She is. 1214 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:43,247 I mean, her eyes. Okay, her eyes are a little far apart. 1215 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,086 Kind of looks like a flounder. 1216 01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:48,447 There it is! Good. 1217 01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:52,047 So tonight, your dopey ex-husband's gonna be lookin' into those eyes and sayin', 1218 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,009 "What kind of choice did I make? 1219 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:56,560 "I used to stare into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, 1220 01:14:56,640 --> 01:15:00,770 "and now I'm stuck starin' at the Filet o' Fish sandwich." 1221 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:02,444 Did you just say I have beautiful eyes? 1222 01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:04,529 While insulting the other chick. 1223 01:15:05,720 --> 01:15:08,246 That is really, really, really, really good. 1224 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,651 Thank you. 1225 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,929 Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it. 1226 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,841 You know, everybody's like, 1227 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,366 "Brenner this" and "Brenner that." 1228 01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:48,331 But make no mistake, Fire Blaster's the leader of this crew. 1229 01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:50,124 Who's the Fire Blaster again? 1230 01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:53,409 Me, Serena! All right, lemme just cut to the chase here. 1231 01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:55,448 Fire Blaster's been in prison for eight years. 1232 01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,126 He hasn't been with a woman since '05. 1233 01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:02,487 You're in for the time of your life. 1234 01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:05,360 You even think about touching me, I'm gonna smack you through the wall. 1235 01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:07,130 I'd have it no other way. 1236 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,082 Should've gone with Martha Stewart. 1237 01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:16,087 At least then, I'd have a tasty panini cooked for me or some shit. 1238 01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,288 So, what are you gonna do after all this? 1239 01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,362 You gonna go back to the Nerd Brigade? 1240 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,764 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1241 01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,002 Probably. I mean... 1242 01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:30,801 What else would I do? 1243 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:33,327 I mean, it just seems like someone with your skills, 1244 01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:36,569 you'd be better off inventing technology rather than installing it. 1245 01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:40,407 No, of course. I would love to do somethin' different. 1246 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:42,529 You know, I had my shot 1247 01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,489 when I was a kid in the arcades. 1248 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,201 But 1249 01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:48,566 I blew it. 1250 01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:52,084 Yeah, I always think maybe my life would've been different. 1251 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:55,330 Any time I'm getting on a roll, 1252 01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:58,961 or I feel like everything's going great, 1253 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:02,804 that giant ape throws another barrel at me. 1254 01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:09,451 But it's all good. Don't worry. 1255 01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:17,405 Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce a special message 1256 01:17:17,480 --> 01:17:21,121 to the Arcaders from the students of PS 427 1257 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:23,250 in New York City. 1258 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,767 New York was in trouble. 1259 01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,008 Pac-Man caused a ruckus. 1260 01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:33,606 But the Arcaders saved us. 1261 01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,603 'Cause they're bad mother... 1262 01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:40,926 People of Earth, 1263 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,481 you have violated the rules of warfare, dudes. 1264 01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,171 Violated the rules? 1265 01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:48,881 Because of this, you forfeit and your planet is now ours. 1266 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:54,084 Dudes, in 12 hours, we'll commence with the all-out destruction of Earth. 1267 01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:59,324 After that, we will sing this about your precious planet. 1268 01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:03,724 She's gone 1269 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,565 I'd better learn how to face... 1270 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,364 What the heck are they talkin' about? 1271 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,650 Where you goin', Fire Blaster? 1272 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:22,080 Hey, kid. 1273 01:18:22,880 --> 01:18:25,281 I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know? 1274 01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:27,216 Only known her half an hour and she's already like, 1275 01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:29,641 "Mrs. Fire Blaster this. Mrs. Fire Blaster that." 1276 01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:33,643 A cop fished these out of the East River the night you fell in. 1277 01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,609 I was gonna give 'em back to you, 1278 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:38,809 but I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses. 1279 01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:42,562 The Pac-Man cheat code for super-speed. 1280 01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:44,883 - You're a cheater. - So what? 1281 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:48,729 I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate. 1282 01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,690 So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked. 1283 01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:53,762 You've been a cheater your whole life? 1284 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,721 No. 1285 01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:58,087 Only since I was 10. 1286 01:18:58,160 --> 01:19:02,324 That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Yeah. 1287 01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,284 I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades. 1288 01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:13,841 What did you do? 1289 01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,242 I didn't do anything. I thought we obeyed every rule. 1290 01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:18,924 Ya thought wrong, civilian! 1291 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,207 We squandered our one chance on you! 1292 01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,691 A hi-fi repair man. 1293 01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:23,921 But I swear... 1294 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,368 But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it! 1295 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:28,681 I've seen your files. 1296 01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:31,136 You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life. 1297 01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:34,323 Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you. 1298 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,050 I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel. 1299 01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:39,203 You were all over this sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time. 1300 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:42,165 Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself! 1301 01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:43,481 Drop dead, Admiral. 1302 01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:44,561 You're done. 1303 01:19:44,640 --> 01:19:48,281 All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen. We tried something. It didn't work. 1304 01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:52,280 What is that? 1305 01:19:52,640 --> 01:19:53,766 Matty! 1306 01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:06,609 Matty! 1307 01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:16,483 I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry. 1308 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:18,563 Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do. 1309 01:20:18,720 --> 01:20:19,720 Where's Eddie? 1310 01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:23,128 Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again. 1311 01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:25,884 Chewie won't take my calls. 1312 01:20:26,040 --> 01:20:28,407 Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys. 1313 01:20:28,480 --> 01:20:30,050 This feels like my planet. 1314 01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:33,806 No fun. No laughter. Only war. 1315 01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,081 Wait. 1316 01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:38,682 Wait a second. Q*bert is from there. He knows all their secrets. 1317 01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:40,330 We were once a happy planet. 1318 01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,164 Before you threatened us. 1319 01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:45,767 But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games. 1320 01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,770 They do not know they are games. 1321 01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:50,400 Well, why don't you tell them that, Q*bert, and stop them? 1322 01:20:50,480 --> 01:20:51,527 It's too late. 1323 01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:55,321 And now the mothership is creating millions of video-game warriors 1324 01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:56,890 to destroy your planet. 1325 01:20:57,360 --> 01:21:00,967 Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them. 1326 01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:02,760 We can rescue Matty while we're up there. 1327 01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:04,809 Up there. You wanna go up there? 1328 01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:08,243 I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons. 1329 01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:10,084 I don't think that's such a good idea. 1330 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,607 We have something better than light cannons. 1331 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,928 We have a positive can-do attitude. 1332 01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:19,285 I'm kidding. We are all gonna die. 1333 01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:21,286 I'm just... 1334 01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:22,726 Sorry. 1335 01:22:02,280 --> 01:22:03,725 Are you sure we wanna do this? 1336 01:22:03,800 --> 01:22:06,280 I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on. 1337 01:22:06,480 --> 01:22:08,847 Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship. 1338 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:11,446 And the only way to do that is to get directly under it. 1339 01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:13,365 That's the only way in. 1340 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:30,248 Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry! 1341 01:22:35,240 --> 01:22:36,810 Come on! Come on! Come on! Go! 1342 01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:37,881 Stay with me! 1343 01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:58,521 Nobody's better at the crane game than me. 1344 01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:00,171 Chewie? 1345 01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:02,209 What's with the disguise, buddy? 1346 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,442 They tried to take me to some underground bunker, 1347 01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,204 so I went rogue. 1348 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:11,929 Yeah! 1349 01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:16,163 Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection. 1350 01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,241 Thank God. 1351 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:20,006 Hey, live long, laugh much, love often. 1352 01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:22,447 That's it. 1353 01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:24,326 No. 1354 01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:25,606 Back it up. 1355 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,121 Thanks for bein' my friend. 1356 01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,091 'Course, buddy. I love ya. 1357 01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:32,083 Now go kick some ass. 1358 01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:37,087 Mr. President, may I have a light cannon? 1359 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,968 Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf. 1360 01:24:12,960 --> 01:24:14,200 Hey! 1361 01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,328 Get away from those kids now! 1362 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:19,127 Please? 1363 01:24:28,800 --> 01:24:29,801 Hey! 1364 01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:56,087 I spent most of my formative years 1365 01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:58,162 trying to figure out a way to bring you to life 1366 01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:00,608 all Weird Science-style. 1367 01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:03,528 I used every birthday wish, 1368 01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:06,046 every 11:11 on the clock, 1369 01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:09,528 every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug. 1370 01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:11,610 I prayed for this. 1371 01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:19,001 But apparently, you don't feel the same. 1372 01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:30,045 Okay. We're under it, Q*bert. Now what? 1373 01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:36,443 Well, well, well. 1374 01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:38,090 Look who's here. 1375 01:25:38,160 --> 01:25:40,049 Q*bert the traitor 1376 01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,327 and his cheating friends. 1377 01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:44,721 Come to beg for a second chance? 1378 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:48,327 You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person. 1379 01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:50,609 So come on up! 1380 01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:55,607 If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors. 1381 01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:57,205 But if you lose... 1382 01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,610 See you on the other side. 1383 01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:26,247 You are so powerful, just as I... 1384 01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:35,521 You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay? 1385 01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,489 I know that you have love in your heart, 1386 01:26:37,560 --> 01:26:40,928 and I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me, 1387 01:26:41,080 --> 01:26:43,560 then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me. 1388 01:26:46,040 --> 01:26:50,284 At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love. 1389 01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:27,570 And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams. 1390 01:27:27,760 --> 01:27:29,125 Well, well, well. 1391 01:27:29,280 --> 01:27:31,169 Didn't think I'd see you again. 1392 01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:35,405 I had to prove to myself and to the world that I could do this without cheating. 1393 01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:36,761 Wait, you cheated? 1394 01:27:36,920 --> 01:27:38,001 Moving on. 1395 01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:46,687 You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend? 1396 01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:48,931 Fiancée. 1397 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,521 Where are we, Q*bert? What is this place? 1398 01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:06,965 I don't know. 1399 01:28:07,040 --> 01:28:08,724 But I'm scared. 1400 01:28:09,840 --> 01:28:11,285 Great. 1401 01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:20,846 What is that noise? 1402 01:28:30,240 --> 01:28:31,969 What the hell was that? 1403 01:28:37,560 --> 01:28:39,483 Donkey Kong. 1404 01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,562 The one game you suck at. 1405 01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:42,721 Yeah. 1406 01:28:43,720 --> 01:28:45,245 Mom, up here! 1407 01:28:46,200 --> 01:28:47,565 Matty! 1408 01:28:47,720 --> 01:28:48,846 Mom! 1409 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:50,650 Where the hell is my mama? 1410 01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:52,524 We're coming for you, honey! 1411 01:28:58,720 --> 01:29:00,006 No. 1412 01:29:18,280 --> 01:29:19,691 There's too many of them! 1413 01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:20,886 This way! 1414 01:29:23,760 --> 01:29:25,603 Only one way to beat this game. Jump! 1415 01:29:27,880 --> 01:29:28,961 Up the ladder! Fast! 1416 01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:33,286 Incoming! 1417 01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:55,165 Q*bert! Look out! 1418 01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:59,083 Q*bert! 1419 01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:15,891 I can't do this. There's no pattern. 1420 01:30:15,960 --> 01:30:18,930 Pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1421 01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:22,001 I don't wanna die! 1422 01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:24,490 I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant! 1423 01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:28,486 Eddie Plant's a cheater! That's why he was so good in New York. 1424 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:30,688 He used cheat codes. 1425 01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,130 He did the same thing to you when you were kids. 1426 01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:37,207 You know what that means, right? 1427 01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:43,490 I'm the Donkey Kong champion of the world. 1428 01:30:43,640 --> 01:30:46,371 And the Donkey Kong champion of the world doesn't need patterns. 1429 01:30:46,640 --> 01:30:47,641 Reset button. 1430 01:31:00,880 --> 01:31:02,211 Freeze, Chewie! 1431 01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:10,201 Brenner! 1432 01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,042 Mom, Mom! Q*bert's not dead! 1433 01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:22,008 Help me! Help me! 1434 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:24,362 Nah, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty. 1435 01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:25,521 Mom! 1436 01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:28,009 Please. 1437 01:31:28,080 --> 01:31:29,445 Okay, fine. 1438 01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:30,931 What? No! 1439 01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:32,081 No! 1440 01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:40,409 Violet, get outta there! 1441 01:31:46,720 --> 01:31:47,721 Look out! 1442 01:31:58,040 --> 01:31:59,041 We're trapped! 1443 01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:05,281 Brenner! 1444 01:32:16,800 --> 01:32:18,564 Here, grab onto my mighty hammer. 1445 01:32:21,960 --> 01:32:23,121 You loved saying that. 1446 01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:24,406 Yes, I did. 1447 01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:30,727 Brenner! Whatever you're doing, please hurry up! 1448 01:32:39,320 --> 01:32:42,290 I've been waitin' to do this since 1982. 1449 01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:56,086 Yeah! 1450 01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:57,810 Yeah! Yes! 1451 01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:00,850 Yeah. Yeah. 1452 01:33:12,520 --> 01:33:14,522 Matty! God! 1453 01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:17,842 - You okay? - Yeah. 1454 01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:20,003 You were so awesome down there! 1455 01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:23,216 You're my second favorite president. You know Obama's still my man, right? 1456 01:33:23,240 --> 01:33:24,526 Okay. 1457 01:33:34,520 --> 01:33:35,885 We won! 1458 01:33:36,680 --> 01:33:38,125 No more taxes! 1459 01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:41,169 We did it, baby! 1460 01:33:41,520 --> 01:33:42,885 We did it. 1461 01:33:43,040 --> 01:33:44,166 No. 1462 01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:46,722 No. No! 1463 01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:49,644 Lady Lisa! 1464 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:51,882 No! 1465 01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:10,887 Eddie, never thought I'd see you again. 1466 01:34:10,960 --> 01:34:14,601 Brenner, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for cheatin' back in the day when we was kids, 1467 01:34:14,680 --> 01:34:17,081 and for cheatin' again more recently. 1468 01:34:17,160 --> 01:34:19,003 I'm not goin' back to prison for that, am I? 1469 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:22,209 No, but you need to admit to Brenner that he's the best in the world. 1470 01:34:23,080 --> 01:34:24,161 No way. 1471 01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:25,401 Prison. 1472 01:34:29,040 --> 01:34:30,246 Brenner, 1473 01:34:33,080 --> 01:34:34,684 you are the best 1474 01:34:36,040 --> 01:34:37,405 in the world 1475 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:40,927 at the Donkey Kong. 1476 01:34:41,720 --> 01:34:43,006 That's right. I am. 1477 01:34:43,080 --> 01:34:44,844 Ludlow. What's the matter, buddy? 1478 01:34:45,440 --> 01:34:47,681 I finally had the one thing I wanted 1479 01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:50,402 and now I'm back to being all alone. 1480 01:34:50,680 --> 01:34:53,445 Lady Lisa, she made an appearance. 1481 01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:58,447 And while you guys were out, you know, savin' the world, you kind of destroyed his. 1482 01:34:59,120 --> 01:35:00,610 That's horrible. 1483 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:04,288 It's just, how come he gets to stay? Why are you still here? 1484 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:06,050 I'm sorry. 1485 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:07,565 Q*bert's a trophy. 1486 01:35:07,760 --> 01:35:09,444 And I guess we get to keep the trophies. 1487 01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:11,081 Yeah. 1488 01:35:22,600 --> 01:35:24,204 Q*bert, what is it? 1489 01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:43,322 Wait, no one else is weirded out by this? That was just Q*bert. 1490 01:35:43,480 --> 01:35:45,323 - Mr. President! Please! - Yes, Renee. 1491 01:35:45,480 --> 01:35:47,562 Mr. President, are we out of danger? 1492 01:35:47,760 --> 01:35:50,161 Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce 1493 01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:53,802 I have brokered a peace treaty with the alien invaders. 1494 01:35:56,160 --> 01:35:59,164 This peace is due to, and only due to 1495 01:35:59,320 --> 01:36:01,527 the bravery of the Arcaders, 1496 01:36:01,920 --> 01:36:05,811 who, against all odds, stepped up and saved us all. 1497 01:36:06,760 --> 01:36:08,091 Eddie Plant, 1498 01:36:08,160 --> 01:36:09,924 Ludlow Lamonsoff, 1499 01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:11,365 Sam Brenner, 1500 01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:13,966 and Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten 1501 01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:15,965 are American heroes. 1502 01:36:16,640 --> 01:36:18,051 World heroes. 1503 01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:24,044 "World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore. 1504 01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:26,000 You don't want me to stop being a nerd, ever. 1505 01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:27,886 Why is that? 1506 01:36:27,960 --> 01:36:31,043 'Cause like I said, nerds are the greatest kissers. 1507 01:36:31,960 --> 01:36:33,962 I'll be the judge of that. 1508 01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:51,610 Hey, kids. Daddy's home. 1509 01:37:51,680 --> 01:37:54,047 - Daddy! - Daddy! Daddy! 1510 01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:56,168 - Dad! Dad! - Daddy! Daddy! 1511 01:37:56,240 --> 01:37:58,242 Daddy! Daddy!