1 00:00:11,038 --> 00:00:16,038 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,001 Ladies and gentlemen, 3 00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:20,836 please welcome movie star extraordinaire, 4 00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:22,638 Vic Edwards! 5 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,842 I think people are always fascinated 6 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:29,378 about how people get into movies. 7 00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,380 I gather your first screen test 8 00:00:31,382 --> 00:00:32,951 was a fair-sized experience. 9 00:00:33,953 --> 00:00:36,153 Yeah, it was. My, uh... 10 00:00:36,155 --> 00:00:38,788 My screen test was 11 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,489 sad and funny. I hope it's funny. 12 00:00:40,491 --> 00:00:43,127 I went into 20th Century Fox on an interview. 13 00:00:43,129 --> 00:00:46,163 First guy said, "You have a very good face," 14 00:00:46,165 --> 00:00:48,900 and he said, "We'd like to do a screen test of you." 15 00:00:48,902 --> 00:00:50,901 Then I thought, "Man, I'm gonna be a star." 16 00:00:52,037 --> 00:00:52,904 So on the day of the screen test, 17 00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:54,139 I'm gonna get a haircut. 18 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,573 So I duck into this barber shop 19 00:00:55,575 --> 00:00:56,908 at 7:00 in the morning 20 00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:58,310 and I say to the guy, uh... 21 00:00:58,312 --> 00:00:59,378 "Give me a haircut and shave." 22 00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:01,881 I'd never had a shave in a barber shop before. 23 00:01:01,883 --> 00:01:03,548 And the guy had never given one before. 24 00:01:04,818 --> 00:01:07,553 And he gave me the worst haircut 25 00:01:07,555 --> 00:01:08,755 you've ever seen in your life. 26 00:01:08,757 --> 00:01:11,558 And then he... There was cuts all over my face. 27 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,892 And I had pieces of toilet paper 28 00:01:12,894 --> 00:01:14,360 pasted all on my face. 29 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:17,764 That was my test. 30 00:01:17,766 --> 00:01:19,333 And I wondered why they didn't sign me 31 00:01:19,335 --> 00:01:20,902 for a seven year contract. 32 00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:23,738 That was my introduction to the movies. 33 00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:55,306 Yeah. 34 00:01:59,044 --> 00:02:02,314 Squanto. Squanto Edwards. 35 00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:07,152 Well, his kidneys are completely shutting down. 36 00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:09,754 He's not responding to the diuretics anymore. 37 00:02:09,756 --> 00:02:11,055 And you know had to take him off 38 00:02:11,057 --> 00:02:12,823 the ACE inhibitors for his heart disease 39 00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:15,162 because it's making his kidney damage worse. 40 00:02:16,329 --> 00:02:18,933 His body is basically poisoning itself. 41 00:02:20,168 --> 00:02:23,001 I mean, he's 15, so he's not really a candidate 42 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:25,603 for something more aggressive like a transplant. 43 00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:37,119 What would you do, if it was your dog? 44 00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:40,522 I'm afraid we're out of options. 45 00:02:41,756 --> 00:02:43,193 I'd have to let him go. 46 00:02:46,328 --> 00:02:47,498 Yes. 47 00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:51,936 Well... 48 00:02:53,503 --> 00:02:54,940 Do you mind if I 49 00:02:56,339 --> 00:02:58,307 say good-bye to him alone? 50 00:02:58,309 --> 00:03:01,146 Yeah, of course. We'll give you a minute to say good-bye. 51 00:05:18,627 --> 00:05:19,962 Eh... 52 00:05:30,941 --> 00:05:32,109 Phew... 53 00:06:28,603 --> 00:06:30,206 Mmm. 54 00:07:35,408 --> 00:07:39,813 - Nice view, huh? - Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. 55 00:07:41,415 --> 00:07:43,582 I always loved yoga. 56 00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:47,520 Oh, yeah. Thinking I'm having, uh, palpitation. 57 00:07:47,522 --> 00:07:49,024 Mmm. 58 00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:52,358 Say, Vic, did you hear 59 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,194 that Jerry Renner died yesterday? 60 00:07:54,196 --> 00:07:56,463 Oh, that's too bad. 61 00:07:56,465 --> 00:07:57,834 Yeah, he was a nice guy. 62 00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,969 No, he wasn't. 63 00:08:00,636 --> 00:08:02,636 He was a putz. 64 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:08,976 Oh, here. 65 00:08:08,978 --> 00:08:10,777 Forgot to show you this. 66 00:08:10,779 --> 00:08:13,283 This was sent to me. What do you think? 67 00:08:13,949 --> 00:08:15,649 I don't know how they got my address 68 00:08:15,651 --> 00:08:17,385 but they sent it to me. 69 00:08:17,387 --> 00:08:19,722 This is the International Nashville Film Festival. 70 00:08:19,724 --> 00:08:21,790 You're being honored. 71 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,059 "This year is being dedicated to honoring you 72 00:08:24,061 --> 00:08:25,994 "and your impressive body of work. 73 00:08:25,996 --> 00:08:27,061 "It's about time. 74 00:08:27,063 --> 00:08:29,297 - Ah, so what? - "We would like to invite you 75 00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:30,367 "to join us for a retrospective 76 00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:31,834 of some of your greatest films 77 00:08:31,836 --> 00:08:34,404 "followed by a gala ceremony where you'll be presented 78 00:08:34,406 --> 00:08:37,473 "with our prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award." 79 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,475 Look who the previous winners are, 80 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,210 Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson 81 00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:42,312 and Clint Eastwood. 82 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,181 And it says here all expenses are paid. 83 00:08:44,183 --> 00:08:47,317 That's a country music town, that's not a film town. 84 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,686 No, no, no, no. 85 00:08:48,688 --> 00:08:51,388 Nashville has become very hip. Very hip. 86 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,324 Well, that's what I'm worried about. 87 00:08:53,326 --> 00:08:54,426 My hip. 88 00:08:54,428 --> 00:08:57,229 Sitting on an airplane for too long a time, 89 00:08:57,231 --> 00:08:59,865 what if I get a clot in my butt? 90 00:08:59,867 --> 00:09:01,566 Look, I've heard of this film festival 91 00:09:01,568 --> 00:09:03,701 and I know this is a prestigious award. 92 00:09:03,703 --> 00:09:05,605 And I don't think you're gonna get a clot in your butt. 93 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,008 Look, I'm just saying if you don't go, 94 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,579 you're a bigger asshole than I ever thought. 95 00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:14,349 Well, I guess you would know. 96 00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:19,586 You've made such great career moves. 97 00:09:55,493 --> 00:09:57,463 Nice. Schmuck. 98 00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:05,534 Good morning! And where are we off to today? 99 00:11:05,536 --> 00:11:08,169 - Nashville. - Nashville, huh? 100 00:11:08,171 --> 00:11:10,372 That's a great live music town. 101 00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:12,741 You gonna kick those heels up a little bit? 102 00:11:12,743 --> 00:11:15,410 Well, a very little bit. There you go. 103 00:11:15,412 --> 00:11:18,518 - Thank you, Mr. Edwards. - Mmm-hmm. 104 00:11:19,752 --> 00:11:22,553 There you are. Okay. 105 00:11:22,555 --> 00:11:25,488 I'm gonna have to ask you to get in this line over here 106 00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:29,162 'cause this one is for first class passengers only. 107 00:11:31,030 --> 00:11:34,200 Holy cow. But I am first class. 108 00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:02,861 Yeah? Then why the hell are there pictures of you two 109 00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:06,031 hugging and laughing all over her Facebook page? 110 00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:07,635 Oh, bullshit! 111 00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:10,870 Don't tell me I'm being irrational. 112 00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:13,139 You told me you were going there with Andrew 113 00:13:13,141 --> 00:13:14,305 and you lied. 114 00:13:14,307 --> 00:13:16,174 It's just a simple fact. 115 00:13:16,176 --> 00:13:18,944 If you're just friends, then why lie? 116 00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:20,546 Oh, you're so full of shit. 117 00:13:20,548 --> 00:13:22,782 You must think I'm the biggest idiot on the planet. 118 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:25,318 Look, I can't talk about this right now. I'm working. 119 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,953 I do, too, have a job. 120 00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:29,489 I'm picking up some old asshole for my brother. 121 00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:30,724 I don't know who it is. 122 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,161 I mean, what, do you think I Google'd him or some shit? 123 00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:36,634 - Oh, what? - Hi. I'm Vic Edwards. 124 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:41,369 - Oh, Mr. Edwards. - Yeah. Yeah. 125 00:13:41,371 --> 00:13:43,172 I... I have to call you back. 126 00:13:43,174 --> 00:13:44,740 - Hello, Mr. Edwards. - Hi. 127 00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:47,308 Um, welcome to Nashville. How was your flight? 128 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:48,576 Was it delayed? 129 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,712 I mean, I've been waiting here forever. 130 00:13:50,714 --> 00:13:53,216 You've been waiting here forever my ass. 131 00:13:53,218 --> 00:13:54,719 Now where is my limo? 132 00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:58,922 I don't know anything about a limo. 133 00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,091 - Really? - But I'm Lil McDougal, 134 00:14:01,093 --> 00:14:02,925 your personal assistant and chauffeur 135 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,896 for the duration of the weekend. 136 00:14:05,431 --> 00:14:07,530 We're off to a great start, aren't we? 137 00:14:11,403 --> 00:14:13,670 Bjorn, shut up. I'm working. 138 00:14:13,672 --> 00:14:15,039 - Come on! - Hmm? 139 00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:16,877 Sorry. Sorry. Come on. Let's go. 140 00:14:37,866 --> 00:14:38,931 All right. 141 00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:40,432 We'll get you checked into the hotel 142 00:14:40,434 --> 00:14:41,701 but there's no time to relax. 143 00:14:41,703 --> 00:14:42,970 We've got to get to the film festival in time 144 00:14:42,972 --> 00:14:45,773 for the opening ceremony and we're running late already. 145 00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:47,477 Whose fault is that? 146 00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:26,418 This is an upgrade? 147 00:15:27,085 --> 00:15:28,588 What's wrong with it? Look, it's got a kitchen. 148 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:31,955 This is a kitchen? 149 00:15:31,957 --> 00:15:35,625 Are you familiar with the term "false advertising"? 150 00:15:35,627 --> 00:15:36,629 Yeah. 151 00:15:37,297 --> 00:15:40,768 Well, I was promised first class accommodation. 152 00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:43,434 I've got a good mind to have you 153 00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:45,937 take me back to the airport right now. 154 00:15:45,939 --> 00:15:48,041 It's like I'm on Candid Camera. 155 00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:51,043 Is this really a film festival? 156 00:15:51,045 --> 00:15:53,779 Dude, there's a film festival and if you don't like 157 00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:55,948 your accommodations because they don't measure up 158 00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:57,784 to your big Hollywood expectations, 159 00:15:57,786 --> 00:15:59,284 don't gripe to me. 160 00:15:59,286 --> 00:16:00,620 I'm just your assistant 'cause I'm the one with the car. 161 00:16:00,622 --> 00:16:03,155 Take it up with my brother. It's his stupid film festival. 162 00:16:03,157 --> 00:16:06,526 - I'll meet you in the lobby. - You call that a lobby? 163 00:16:06,528 --> 00:16:07,895 Your key. Really? 164 00:16:07,897 --> 00:16:10,030 I've seen phone booths that were bigger than that. 165 00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:11,364 See you soon. Can't hear you. 166 00:16:11,366 --> 00:16:13,636 Yeah, right, right, right. 167 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:21,508 What a shithole. 168 00:16:24,213 --> 00:16:25,913 Don't be crazy. 169 00:16:25,915 --> 00:16:28,049 You're there already. Just enjoy it. 170 00:16:28,051 --> 00:16:31,052 Enjoy it? You should see this rat hole. 171 00:16:31,054 --> 00:16:33,489 It smells like piss and Pine-Sol. 172 00:16:33,491 --> 00:16:35,523 Well, you should feel right at home then. 173 00:16:35,525 --> 00:16:37,592 Those boutique hotels are always small 174 00:16:37,594 --> 00:16:38,860 but they're very hip. 175 00:16:38,862 --> 00:16:42,231 There's nothing hip or boutique about this place. 176 00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:44,867 And my assistant, my God. 177 00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:48,237 She's just a basket case on wheels. 178 00:16:48,239 --> 00:16:49,606 Oh, just relax, Vic. 179 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,708 It's one lousy weekend and you'll get to the festival, 180 00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:54,511 everybody will spoil you. 181 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,881 You'll feel like a big shot. How bad can it be? 182 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,882 De Niro, Clint. 183 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,251 There must be something to it. 184 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:04,054 I guarantee you Clint didn't stay in this shithole. 185 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,423 Oh, stop it. 186 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,125 I'll talk to you later. 187 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,295 I'm sorry about that. 188 00:17:42,765 --> 00:17:44,801 You are such an asshole! 189 00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:48,936 Well, I was just sitting here and the book was here... 190 00:17:48,938 --> 00:17:50,172 I'm not talking to you. 191 00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,606 No, I am talking to you, Bjorn. 192 00:17:52,608 --> 00:17:53,846 Shut up for a second. 193 00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:56,948 I'm on the phone, Mr. Edwards. 194 00:17:57,314 --> 00:17:59,014 Yes, I can see that. 195 00:17:59,016 --> 00:18:00,184 Hello? 196 00:18:00,985 --> 00:18:02,184 Bjorn? 197 00:18:02,186 --> 00:18:04,925 Hello? Dammit! 198 00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:30,953 What the hell is this? 199 00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:34,689 This is the festival. 200 00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:39,992 But it's a bar. 201 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,229 Yes. So what? 202 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,083 There he is. 203 00:19:02,085 --> 00:19:04,718 Oh, my gosh. Mr. Edwards. 204 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,755 I can't believe it. Oh, my gosh. 205 00:19:06,757 --> 00:19:08,556 Vic Edwards! 206 00:19:08,558 --> 00:19:10,225 Oh, man, I can't tell you 207 00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:11,893 how excited we are to have you here. 208 00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:13,195 I'm Doug McDougal. 209 00:19:13,197 --> 00:19:14,263 We spoke on the phone, remember? 210 00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:17,232 - Yeah. How are you? - I'm so good. 211 00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:19,402 I can't tell you what it means to us that you're here. 212 00:19:19,404 --> 00:19:20,569 We're such fans. 213 00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:23,105 Let me introduce you to my partner, Shane McAvoy. 214 00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:25,208 We have been best friends since birth, 215 00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,043 so the first time I saw any of your films, 216 00:19:27,045 --> 00:19:28,577 it was with this guy right here. 217 00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:30,213 - Really? Wow. - Yeah. 218 00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,584 Mr. Edwards, sir, your films have influenced me greatly. 219 00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,086 Your performance in Siege at the Alamo 220 00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:37,054 was a revelation of 221 00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:39,292 gradation and dynamism and nuance. 222 00:19:39,892 --> 00:19:43,194 Gradation, dynamism, nuance? Sounds like a law firm. 223 00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,131 Seriously, I get choked up 224 00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,766 even just thinking about that scene 225 00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:50,301 where you're cradling the dying Robert Mitchum. 226 00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:52,871 And you say, "Mr. Crocket, sir, 227 00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,139 "it's been my privilege 228 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:56,375 "defending Texas side by side with you." 229 00:19:56,377 --> 00:19:58,610 All right, wrap it up, Shane. This is Stuart. 230 00:19:58,612 --> 00:20:00,646 He's a local filmmaker here in Nashville. 231 00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:02,214 He actually shot all the promos 232 00:20:02,216 --> 00:20:03,250 for the festival that are playing online. 233 00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:05,152 Did you get a chance to catch any of those yet? 234 00:20:05,154 --> 00:20:08,387 No, I haven't, but I will. What time do they come on? 235 00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:11,457 It's like I'm on Carson. 236 00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:13,993 Mr. Edwards, it is the greatest honor of my life 237 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,262 to be seeing you through my viewfinder right now. 238 00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:18,632 I'm making a documentary about this historic event. 239 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,100 And, of course, you know my sister Lil, 240 00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:21,336 who, in addition to being 241 00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:23,937 your personal assistant for the weekend, is an artist. 242 00:20:23,939 --> 00:20:26,107 She actually made the logo for the festival. 243 00:20:26,109 --> 00:20:29,677 Well, she was very handy. 244 00:20:29,679 --> 00:20:31,147 Well, she's been called worse. 245 00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,114 Uh, let's get you over to the red carpet. 246 00:20:51,803 --> 00:20:54,205 So what is he like? What'd you guys talk about? 247 00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:55,706 Did he tell you any stories? 248 00:20:55,708 --> 00:20:57,007 Oh, yeah. It was great. 249 00:20:57,009 --> 00:20:59,310 He told me how much he hated the coach ticket 250 00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:00,611 and how much he hated the hotel 251 00:21:00,613 --> 00:21:02,313 and how much he hated my car. 252 00:21:02,315 --> 00:21:04,515 And that the film festival's in a bar. 253 00:21:04,517 --> 00:21:05,984 Yeah, he's a total dick. 254 00:21:05,986 --> 00:21:08,219 I have no idea what you guys are so obsessed with. 255 00:21:08,221 --> 00:21:09,321 Maybe we should watch 256 00:21:09,323 --> 00:21:10,521 some of his movies together some time. 257 00:21:10,523 --> 00:21:12,024 Yeah, I got to be honest with you, Shane. 258 00:21:12,026 --> 00:21:13,725 I'm dealing with some shit with Bjorn right now, 259 00:21:13,727 --> 00:21:15,227 so could you just run along? 260 00:21:15,229 --> 00:21:18,230 I'm not asking you on a date. I'm just saying that... 261 00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:20,135 Yeah, that's great. Thanks. 262 00:21:28,175 --> 00:21:30,344 - Vic, you were great! - Welcome to Nashville! 263 00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:33,183 - I'm sorry to, um... - Who's that? 264 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,317 Mr. Edwards, it's so nice to meet you. 265 00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:38,888 I'm a huge fan. My dad loves your movies. 266 00:22:19,431 --> 00:22:22,600 Okay, now, Mr. Edwards, if we could, right this way. 267 00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,435 - Okay. - I'd like to introduce you 268 00:22:24,437 --> 00:22:27,237 to our social media director and my better half. 269 00:22:27,239 --> 00:22:30,141 - This is my girlfriend, Faith. - Hi, Faith. 270 00:22:30,143 --> 00:22:33,611 Hi. Wow. It's so exciting to meet you. 271 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,651 All Doug keeps talking about is Vic Edwards, Vic Edwards. 272 00:22:37,084 --> 00:22:39,818 And FYI, on Instagram, Snapchat and Pinterest, 273 00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,321 my name is FaithVonAwesome 274 00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:43,957 but on Twitter, it's Faith, underscore, VonAwesome. 275 00:22:43,959 --> 00:22:46,092 Someone else beat me to it. But that's okay. 276 00:22:46,094 --> 00:22:47,494 And our Vines are hilarious. 277 00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:49,629 And our Facebook page already has, like, 200 likes, 278 00:22:49,631 --> 00:22:51,563 so just feel free to just invite all your friends. 279 00:22:51,565 --> 00:22:55,635 And, FYI, we've got a few hashtags going, hashtag INFF, 280 00:22:55,637 --> 00:22:59,439 hashtag Nashfilm, hashtag VicInNashville. 281 00:22:59,441 --> 00:23:01,475 So just feel free to hashtag away 282 00:23:01,477 --> 00:23:03,313 on any of your pics that you post, okay? 283 00:23:05,281 --> 00:23:07,415 - Thank you. - Can I get you a drink? 284 00:23:07,417 --> 00:23:08,983 Yeah, I'll have a whiskey. 285 00:23:08,985 --> 00:23:11,353 - Aye, aye, sir. Okay. - Okay. 286 00:23:11,355 --> 00:23:12,821 All right, Faith, actually, 287 00:23:12,823 --> 00:23:14,355 just bring it on into the theater. 288 00:23:14,357 --> 00:23:15,457 Um, we've got tot get going. 289 00:23:15,459 --> 00:23:16,659 We've got a lot of movies to get through 290 00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:18,428 before the big awards ceremony on Sunday. 291 00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,496 The screening room right around here. 292 00:23:20,498 --> 00:23:22,664 There's actually a lot of local contest winners 293 00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:24,770 and fans that are already in there, waiting. 294 00:23:25,502 --> 00:23:27,202 Excuse me. 295 00:23:27,204 --> 00:23:29,775 He's here. 296 00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:56,034 All right. Thank you, everybody, 297 00:23:56,036 --> 00:23:57,470 for coming to the fifth annual 298 00:23:57,472 --> 00:23:59,704 International Nashville Film Festival. 299 00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:01,743 Yeah. 300 00:24:03,878 --> 00:24:05,378 You know, we've been doing this 301 00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:06,879 for a number of years now, 302 00:24:06,881 --> 00:24:10,649 but I have to say, it's never been more exciting for me 303 00:24:10,651 --> 00:24:13,419 than this year because we have with us our guest of honor, 304 00:24:13,421 --> 00:24:16,890 the number one box office star for five years in a row. 305 00:24:16,892 --> 00:24:18,559 - Six. - Six. I'm sorry. 306 00:24:18,561 --> 00:24:20,660 - That's all right. - Six years in a row. 307 00:24:20,662 --> 00:24:23,363 Tennessee's favorite son. Movie star extraordinaire. 308 00:24:23,365 --> 00:24:25,533 Everybody, give it up for Mr. Vic Edwards. 309 00:24:30,507 --> 00:24:33,074 So, Vic, the opening movie of the festival tonight 310 00:24:33,076 --> 00:24:36,378 is your 1961 classic, Nine Lives to Kathmandu 311 00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,447 for which the Hollywood Critics Association 312 00:24:38,449 --> 00:24:40,550 awarded you Best Newcomer of the year. 313 00:24:40,552 --> 00:24:43,052 That's the only time I ever agreed with the critics. 314 00:24:45,589 --> 00:24:48,293 Oh, thank you. One second. 315 00:24:52,264 --> 00:24:54,634 Oh. All right. 316 00:24:56,935 --> 00:24:58,869 Thank you. 317 00:24:58,871 --> 00:25:00,203 So, yeah, Vic, like I said, 318 00:25:00,205 --> 00:25:02,405 if you have any stories or anecdotes 319 00:25:02,407 --> 00:25:03,606 about the making of that film, 320 00:25:03,608 --> 00:25:04,475 I think we'd all love to hear 'em. 321 00:25:04,477 --> 00:25:06,111 I have a question. 322 00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:08,613 Please save any questions for the Q&A after the film. 323 00:25:08,615 --> 00:25:11,615 Well, Kathmandu was a B-picture, 324 00:25:11,617 --> 00:25:14,618 which means it didn't cost much to make. 325 00:25:14,620 --> 00:25:17,088 Somehow, it shot right to the top. 326 00:25:17,090 --> 00:25:20,092 One minute, I was a two-bit stuntman 327 00:25:20,094 --> 00:25:21,794 and then the next minute, 328 00:25:21,796 --> 00:25:23,628 I was the toast of the town. 329 00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,664 Hollywood can do that. 330 00:25:25,666 --> 00:25:27,301 Wants to build you up, 331 00:25:28,002 --> 00:25:29,406 they can do it fast. 332 00:25:29,972 --> 00:25:32,572 And if they want you to crash and burn, 333 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:33,909 they do that even faster. 334 00:25:34,176 --> 00:25:35,741 Speaking of stunts, it is true 335 00:25:35,743 --> 00:25:37,176 that you doubled Burt Lancaster 336 00:25:37,178 --> 00:25:38,345 in Gunfight at the OK Corral? 337 00:25:38,347 --> 00:25:41,515 Dammit, Shane. I said no questions till the Q&A. 338 00:25:41,517 --> 00:25:44,685 That's all right. Nobody doubled Burt. 339 00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:47,821 But I did double somebody in that picture 340 00:25:47,823 --> 00:25:49,456 and that was Rhonda Fleming. 341 00:25:51,628 --> 00:25:53,462 I had to fall off a horse in a dress. 342 00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:56,464 All right. Well, I don't know 343 00:25:56,466 --> 00:25:58,032 if it's gonna get a lot better than that 344 00:25:58,034 --> 00:25:59,870 so let's begin the festival. 345 00:26:16,523 --> 00:26:19,126 Yeah! 346 00:26:23,862 --> 00:26:25,532 Excuse me. 347 00:27:04,106 --> 00:27:05,574 No, I've given you everything 348 00:27:05,576 --> 00:27:07,345 and you still cheated on me! 349 00:27:08,578 --> 00:27:11,011 You cheated on me! I've given you everything! 350 00:27:11,013 --> 00:27:12,681 - I didn't have sex with her. - You didn't have sex with her 351 00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:13,914 but you still cheated on me with her. 352 00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:15,683 Give me a break. Look at you, wearing those shorts 353 00:27:15,685 --> 00:27:16,786 with your ass hanging out 354 00:27:16,788 --> 00:27:18,287 with that stupid idiot at this stupid place. 355 00:27:18,289 --> 00:27:19,454 What stupid place? 356 00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:21,089 You're always screwing my friends! 357 00:27:21,091 --> 00:27:23,558 - I don't mean to. - You're an asshole! 358 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,894 - Get out of the way! - Ahhh! 359 00:27:24,896 --> 00:27:26,295 You're a downer, all right? 360 00:27:26,297 --> 00:27:28,764 You're the one who cheated on me! I hate you! 361 00:27:28,766 --> 00:27:31,233 You can't do this! How dare you? 362 00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:32,972 After everything! 363 00:27:48,588 --> 00:27:51,492 You got shit taste for men, you know that? 364 00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:54,592 Yeah? Tell me about it. 365 00:27:54,594 --> 00:27:56,661 Next time some guy gives you a hard time, 366 00:27:56,663 --> 00:27:59,631 just jab him in the throat, right in the Adam's apple, 367 00:27:59,633 --> 00:28:01,899 you know, with these four fingers. 368 00:28:01,901 --> 00:28:05,138 Right there. He won't talk for quite a few days. 369 00:28:05,140 --> 00:28:07,439 Yeah, well, it's not some guy. 370 00:28:07,441 --> 00:28:09,178 It's Bjorn, my boyfriend. 371 00:28:09,811 --> 00:28:12,682 Well, ex-boyfriend now. 372 00:28:13,015 --> 00:28:15,681 - Bjorn? - It's Swedish. 373 00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:17,985 I know. It's Swedish for "shit". 374 00:28:17,987 --> 00:28:20,454 Has he ever put his hands on you before? 375 00:28:20,456 --> 00:28:23,924 You know, whatever. I mean, he has to date me 376 00:28:23,926 --> 00:28:25,325 and I'm crazy so. 377 00:28:25,327 --> 00:28:28,498 Ah. So it's your fault? 378 00:28:29,799 --> 00:28:31,099 'Cause you're crazy. 379 00:28:31,101 --> 00:28:33,301 Yeah, you know what? You don't get anything. 380 00:28:33,303 --> 00:28:35,469 And I don't need psychoanalysis 381 00:28:35,471 --> 00:28:37,773 from some has-been actor from Hollywood. 382 00:28:37,775 --> 00:28:39,541 And speaking of Hollywood, 383 00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:40,879 why the hell are you even here? 384 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,779 Well, I'm only here because 385 00:28:43,781 --> 00:28:46,284 Clint and Jack and Bobby De Niro all came. 386 00:28:47,484 --> 00:28:49,118 - Clint Eastwood? - Mmm-hmm. 387 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,623 - Jack Nicholson? - Yeah. 388 00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:53,156 Yeah. Mr. Edwards, this is 389 00:28:53,158 --> 00:28:55,124 the International Nashville Film Festival, 390 00:28:55,126 --> 00:28:57,694 not the Nashville International Film Festival. 391 00:28:57,696 --> 00:29:00,497 That's the big one. Yeah. Those guys never came here. 392 00:29:00,499 --> 00:29:02,199 Said on the invite they all won 393 00:29:02,201 --> 00:29:03,834 the same award that I'm getting. 394 00:29:03,836 --> 00:29:07,038 My brother invited them. He just never got a response. 395 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,740 In the four years he's been running it, 396 00:29:09,742 --> 00:29:13,647 you are the only one stupid enough to show up. 397 00:29:14,847 --> 00:29:15,982 Huh. 398 00:29:40,709 --> 00:29:42,412 All right, huh? 399 00:29:47,382 --> 00:29:49,886 Ladies and gentlemen, Vic Edwards. 400 00:29:54,091 --> 00:29:55,791 Where's Vic? 401 00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:59,227 Uh, okay. Vic must be in the bathroom or something. 402 00:29:59,229 --> 00:30:00,696 Everybody sit tight. I'm gonna go get him. 403 00:30:00,698 --> 00:30:02,766 I'll be right back. Come on. 404 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:16,280 - Hey, where's Vic? - I don't know. He left. 405 00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:17,751 What do you mean he left? 406 00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:21,054 He got up and walked out the door. 407 00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,989 Well, why didn't you come get me at least or something? 408 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,759 And interrupt the movie? God forbid. 409 00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:29,931 Dammit, Lil. 410 00:30:31,397 --> 00:30:33,265 - Vic! - Mr. Edwards. 411 00:30:33,267 --> 00:30:35,570 He wants to be called Vic. Vic! 412 00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:41,306 - Oh, my God. - Holy shit. That's awesome. 413 00:30:41,308 --> 00:30:44,512 - Come on, boy. Come on. - Holy shit. 414 00:30:45,113 --> 00:30:46,448 Dammit. 415 00:30:46,780 --> 00:30:49,347 Here you go. Yee-ha. 416 00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:50,682 Vic. 417 00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:52,819 Hey, Vic. 418 00:30:52,821 --> 00:30:56,989 - Um, Vic, you okay? - Come on, big boy. Up. 419 00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:59,596 Silver. 420 00:31:00,128 --> 00:31:01,260 Everything all right? 421 00:31:01,262 --> 00:31:03,262 Of course I'm all right, goddammit. 422 00:31:03,264 --> 00:31:07,935 Look at me. I'm riding like a son-of-a-bitch. 423 00:31:07,937 --> 00:31:10,270 Go, baby. Yee-ha. 424 00:31:10,272 --> 00:31:13,141 You know what my first job in movies was? 425 00:31:13,143 --> 00:31:14,675 Falling off a horse. 426 00:31:14,677 --> 00:31:18,047 Great. Uh, what do you say we go do the Q&A, huh? 427 00:31:18,049 --> 00:31:21,016 He's sloshed, man. 428 00:31:21,018 --> 00:31:23,889 I am not sloshed. 429 00:31:24,455 --> 00:31:26,355 Anybody could fall off a horse, 430 00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:29,725 but a good stuntman can do it and get up and be okay. 431 00:31:29,727 --> 00:31:31,531 And that is the art. 432 00:31:32,831 --> 00:31:35,397 Oh. Awesome. Good to know. 433 00:31:35,399 --> 00:31:38,134 Stuntmen never get the glory they deserve. 434 00:31:38,136 --> 00:31:40,503 I was always envious of them. 435 00:31:40,505 --> 00:31:42,505 I should have stayed a stuntman. 436 00:31:42,507 --> 00:31:44,742 Maybe. Coulda, shoulda, right? 437 00:31:44,744 --> 00:31:47,211 You know, these would actually be great anecdotes 438 00:31:47,213 --> 00:31:48,812 to tell at the Q&A. 439 00:31:48,814 --> 00:31:50,848 If you want... If you want to head back inside. 440 00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:53,886 When I was starting out, all they made were westerns. 441 00:31:53,888 --> 00:31:56,921 I didn't know a damn thing about Hollywood. 442 00:31:56,923 --> 00:31:58,724 But I did know how to ride a horse. 443 00:31:58,726 --> 00:32:00,993 So I snuck on the Paramount lot 444 00:32:00,995 --> 00:32:02,159 and when I heard they were 445 00:32:02,161 --> 00:32:05,063 shooting a Hoppy movie, I walked up to the guy, 446 00:32:05,065 --> 00:32:07,399 shouting the loudest and I said, 447 00:32:07,401 --> 00:32:09,904 "I'm the new stuntman." 448 00:32:10,671 --> 00:32:13,238 Next thing I know, I'm dressed like an Injun, 449 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:18,245 riding a caramel stallion across the Paramount ranch. 450 00:32:18,247 --> 00:32:21,383 And then I hear my cue. Bang! 451 00:32:22,517 --> 00:32:24,752 And you know what I did then? 452 00:32:24,754 --> 00:32:27,357 Fell off the horse. 453 00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:31,194 Bet I could still do it. Yell "Bang." 454 00:32:32,128 --> 00:32:33,260 I'm sorry, what? 455 00:32:33,262 --> 00:32:35,031 Yell "Bang." 456 00:32:35,766 --> 00:32:37,465 Bang. 457 00:32:37,467 --> 00:32:39,103 Oh, my God. 458 00:32:41,471 --> 00:32:43,107 Very good, guys. 459 00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:45,477 Careful, Vic. 460 00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:47,108 Oh, shit. 461 00:32:47,110 --> 00:32:49,077 Ladies and gentlemen, Vic Edwards. 462 00:33:05,932 --> 00:33:09,166 Okay, as promised, Vic is gonna do a short Q&A. 463 00:33:09,168 --> 00:33:11,102 Vic, your co-star in Kathmandu 464 00:33:11,104 --> 00:33:13,104 was the lovely and talented Virginia Donovan. 465 00:33:13,106 --> 00:33:14,905 The studio PR department at the time 466 00:33:14,907 --> 00:33:16,308 played you guys up as an item. 467 00:33:16,310 --> 00:33:18,010 Was there any truth to that rumor? 468 00:33:18,012 --> 00:33:19,845 Or was that just Hollywood hype? 469 00:33:19,847 --> 00:33:21,747 No, I banged her brains out. 470 00:33:23,117 --> 00:33:26,617 But the rumors that we were dating was bullshit. 471 00:33:26,619 --> 00:33:28,088 Look, I'll give it to you straight 472 00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,623 because I'm too old to give you any crap. 473 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:33,659 When you're famous, everybody wants to screw you. 474 00:33:33,661 --> 00:33:35,160 Hmm. 475 00:33:35,162 --> 00:33:37,129 So I porked about every starlet in Hollywood. 476 00:33:37,131 --> 00:33:38,098 Every cover girl. 477 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:40,667 Every cute extra. Every hot waitress. 478 00:33:40,669 --> 00:33:44,105 There was one make-up girl on the set of No Can Do, 479 00:33:44,107 --> 00:33:46,206 what a set of bonkers there. 480 00:33:46,208 --> 00:33:49,209 They should have declared national treasures. 481 00:33:49,211 --> 00:33:53,681 Probably look like saggy socks over the menorah now but... 482 00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:55,452 What was the question again? 483 00:33:57,955 --> 00:34:01,055 Uh... All right. Any other questions? 484 00:34:01,057 --> 00:34:02,157 Yes, Shane. 485 00:34:02,159 --> 00:34:04,994 Um, at the onset of your career, 486 00:34:04,996 --> 00:34:06,896 you were known as an actor's actor. 487 00:34:06,898 --> 00:34:08,330 You even studied with Stella Adler. 488 00:34:08,332 --> 00:34:09,968 Yeah. Bitch. 489 00:34:10,801 --> 00:34:12,034 You were compared to Brando even. 490 00:34:12,036 --> 00:34:13,803 But somewhere along the way, 491 00:34:13,805 --> 00:34:16,139 you started choosing to do more action-y films 492 00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:17,541 instead of the character pieces. 493 00:34:17,543 --> 00:34:18,675 Why is that? 494 00:34:18,677 --> 00:34:20,376 And is it true that you turned down 495 00:34:20,378 --> 00:34:22,081 Serpico for Johnny Speedway? 496 00:34:25,717 --> 00:34:27,517 Well, you know, it's getting kind of late. 497 00:34:27,519 --> 00:34:28,752 We got a big day tomorrow 498 00:34:28,754 --> 00:34:30,254 so I think maybe, um... 499 00:34:30,256 --> 00:34:31,689 But, you know, he's right. 500 00:34:31,691 --> 00:34:34,759 Pacino, De Niro, Brando. 501 00:34:34,761 --> 00:34:36,430 They picked the right ones. 502 00:34:37,564 --> 00:34:39,066 Bad choices. 503 00:34:44,605 --> 00:34:46,041 Bad choices. 504 00:34:54,917 --> 00:34:57,417 Well, I think, uh, I speak for all of us 505 00:34:57,419 --> 00:35:00,252 when I say that you definitely made the right choices 506 00:35:00,254 --> 00:35:02,022 because we love all your films, right? 507 00:35:05,462 --> 00:35:06,730 Yeah. 508 00:35:07,797 --> 00:35:09,132 Speaking of De Niro, 509 00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:13,233 you sold me a bill of goods, you little asshole. 510 00:35:13,235 --> 00:35:14,869 I'm sorry, what? 511 00:35:14,871 --> 00:35:18,240 Well, you let me believe that Clint and Bobby and Jack 512 00:35:18,242 --> 00:35:20,242 all came on to accept their awards here. 513 00:35:20,244 --> 00:35:22,377 And they never been here. 514 00:35:22,379 --> 00:35:25,247 I never said they came here. To be clear. 515 00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:28,384 Uh, I just said we had given them the awards. 516 00:35:28,386 --> 00:35:30,652 What are you trying to do, humiliate me? 517 00:35:30,654 --> 00:35:33,255 Cannes. That was a film festival. 518 00:35:33,257 --> 00:35:35,558 Venice, that was a film festival. 519 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,561 But this is just a bunch of losers 520 00:35:38,563 --> 00:35:40,467 watching movies in their basement. 521 00:35:46,439 --> 00:35:48,942 Screw it. 522 00:35:51,476 --> 00:35:53,180 Holy shit! 523 00:36:04,324 --> 00:36:06,194 All righty, Vic, nighty night. 524 00:36:06,494 --> 00:36:09,195 Lil's gonna be here at noon to pick you up. 525 00:36:09,197 --> 00:36:11,296 We'll go get some famous Nashville barbecue 526 00:36:11,298 --> 00:36:13,798 and then we got a big day of screenings tomorrow. 527 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,703 When you show a movie on a theater screen, 528 00:36:16,705 --> 00:36:18,337 it's a screening. 529 00:36:18,339 --> 00:36:21,274 But when you project a movie on the wall, 530 00:36:21,276 --> 00:36:23,178 it's pathetic. 531 00:36:23,479 --> 00:36:25,111 You know, we're just starting out. 532 00:36:25,113 --> 00:36:27,714 We're doing the best we can with the money that we have. 533 00:36:27,716 --> 00:36:30,351 Your whole stupid little festival is a joke. 534 00:36:30,353 --> 00:36:32,387 I get it now. 535 00:36:32,389 --> 00:36:35,956 The joke's on me. You guys are messing with me. 536 00:36:35,958 --> 00:36:39,126 No, no, Mr. Edwards. It's nothing like that. 537 00:36:39,128 --> 00:36:41,964 Put it on the YouTube and the whole world will laugh at it. 538 00:36:41,966 --> 00:36:43,332 Vic, we're your biggest fans. 539 00:36:43,334 --> 00:36:44,899 We would never do anything like that. 540 00:36:44,901 --> 00:36:47,203 Uh-huh. Well, that's why this asshole's 541 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,370 following me around with that camera. 542 00:36:49,372 --> 00:36:51,840 Get that out of my face. 543 00:36:51,842 --> 00:36:53,143 No, no, Mr. Edwards. Mr. Edwards. 544 00:36:53,145 --> 00:36:54,376 Mr. Edwards, please. 545 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,844 No, no, Vic, Vic, please. 546 00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:58,215 It's a liability thing. I don't think we should fight. 547 00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:12,565 You're a jerk. 548 00:37:13,233 --> 00:37:15,766 - Doug! - No. No, Shane. 549 00:37:15,768 --> 00:37:18,337 I've had it. I mean, he just broke Stuart's camera. 550 00:37:18,339 --> 00:37:20,438 You want to know the real reason we brought you here? 551 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,373 Yes, because I'm stupid enough to come. 552 00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:26,277 Because we're fans, okay? Because we love your movies. 553 00:37:26,279 --> 00:37:28,180 Because we think you're a great actor. 554 00:37:28,182 --> 00:37:29,548 And we save all our money 555 00:37:29,550 --> 00:37:31,084 and we throw this film festival every year. 556 00:37:31,086 --> 00:37:33,885 And, yeah, maybe some aspects of it are a little low rent. 557 00:37:33,887 --> 00:37:35,555 - A little? - But I was really excited 558 00:37:35,557 --> 00:37:36,789 when you agreed to come. 559 00:37:36,791 --> 00:37:38,791 Now I wish that I hadn't even invited you 560 00:37:38,793 --> 00:37:39,960 because you're ruining the whole thing. 561 00:37:39,962 --> 00:37:42,029 I wish you'd never invited me, either. 562 00:37:42,031 --> 00:37:43,266 Well, I did! 563 00:37:44,065 --> 00:37:45,801 And you're here. 564 00:37:46,402 --> 00:37:47,737 So, tough titty. 565 00:37:48,471 --> 00:37:50,737 - Ah. - All right, look. 566 00:37:50,739 --> 00:37:54,309 We've got a big day tomorrow, "showings" of your movies, 567 00:37:54,311 --> 00:37:55,910 so suck it up, okay? 568 00:37:55,912 --> 00:37:58,113 I'm so sorry you've got to spend the weekend 569 00:37:58,115 --> 00:37:59,314 being loved and adored by everybody. 570 00:37:59,316 --> 00:38:00,718 How... How terrible. 571 00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:05,453 Nighty-night, guys. Out. Out. Bye-bye. 572 00:38:05,455 --> 00:38:08,660 Out! Bye-bye. 573 00:38:13,430 --> 00:38:16,335 Wow. That's a whole new breed of crazy. 574 00:38:17,603 --> 00:38:19,239 Shut up, Shane. 575 00:38:21,106 --> 00:38:24,007 I'm... I'm so sorry about your camera. 576 00:38:24,009 --> 00:38:25,976 It's all right, man, it's the school's. 577 00:38:25,978 --> 00:38:27,246 They insure it. 578 00:38:27,747 --> 00:38:30,147 Man, I told you the wording on that invitation 579 00:38:30,149 --> 00:38:31,417 was deceiving. 580 00:38:34,754 --> 00:38:37,622 He must be a really unhappy person. 581 00:38:37,624 --> 00:38:40,594 I heard he could be kind of an a-hole but that was nuts. 582 00:38:42,329 --> 00:38:45,331 I guess artists are just emotional creatures. 583 00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:47,099 Tortured souls. 584 00:38:47,101 --> 00:38:49,467 But, I mean, what's there even to be unhappy about? 585 00:38:49,469 --> 00:38:51,536 He's Vic Edwards, for Christ's sake. 586 00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:54,009 He's made love to so many beautiful women. 587 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,029 Hmm. 588 00:40:17,799 --> 00:40:19,702 Get over here, Vic. 589 00:40:21,203 --> 00:40:22,538 Huh? 590 00:40:27,976 --> 00:40:29,309 Hello. 591 00:40:29,311 --> 00:40:31,378 You just gonna stand there, Vic? 592 00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:33,548 Just gonna stand there, Vic? 593 00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:35,252 Get over here, Vic. 594 00:40:38,387 --> 00:40:39,890 I love you, Vic. 595 00:40:42,626 --> 00:40:44,560 Get over here, Vic. 596 00:40:44,562 --> 00:40:46,761 You just gonna stand there, Vic? 597 00:40:46,763 --> 00:40:47,899 Get over here, Vic. 598 00:41:15,629 --> 00:41:16,627 Hello? 599 00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:18,697 Please tell me you're with Vic. 600 00:41:18,699 --> 00:41:20,632 - Who? - Dammit, Lil. 601 00:41:20,634 --> 00:41:22,833 Are you still asleep? I can't believe you. 602 00:41:22,835 --> 00:41:24,969 Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. 603 00:41:24,971 --> 00:41:26,938 You were supposed to pick Vic up at the motel 604 00:41:26,940 --> 00:41:28,006 10 minutes ago. 605 00:41:28,008 --> 00:41:29,541 Yeah, well, that's funny 606 00:41:29,543 --> 00:41:31,510 because I am almost at the motel. 607 00:41:31,512 --> 00:41:32,945 Beep your horn. 608 00:41:32,947 --> 00:41:34,646 - Hmm? - Prove to me that you're 609 00:41:34,648 --> 00:41:36,148 in your car. Honk your horn. 610 00:41:36,150 --> 00:41:37,682 Oh, shut up, Doug. 611 00:41:37,684 --> 00:41:39,054 I'll be there in, like, 15 minutes. 612 00:41:44,493 --> 00:41:47,560 - Mmm. - Cut it out, Bjorn. 613 00:41:47,562 --> 00:41:48,795 I have to get to work. 614 00:41:48,797 --> 00:41:50,830 - You have to get to work? - Yes, I do. 615 00:41:50,832 --> 00:41:53,203 What is that? Driving some old man around? 616 00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:56,070 Can he not wait 15 minutes? 617 00:41:56,072 --> 00:41:58,005 Quit looking so pleased with yourself. 618 00:41:58,007 --> 00:41:59,573 I'm still pissed at you. 619 00:41:59,575 --> 00:42:01,543 You got a funny way of showing it. 620 00:42:01,545 --> 00:42:03,410 You didn't seem too pissed at me 621 00:42:03,412 --> 00:42:04,680 a couple of hours ago. 622 00:42:04,682 --> 00:42:06,551 Okay, it's called a hate bone. 623 00:42:07,517 --> 00:42:09,587 You know you're cute when you're angry. 624 00:42:12,823 --> 00:42:15,691 No, no. Don't do it. 625 00:42:15,693 --> 00:42:17,561 Oh, it's Doug again. 626 00:42:17,563 --> 00:42:19,563 Babe, babe, I really gotta go. 627 00:42:19,565 --> 00:42:22,235 I gotta go. Okay? Okay. 628 00:42:27,573 --> 00:42:30,707 Lock up when you leave, all right? 629 00:42:30,709 --> 00:42:32,044 Done. 630 00:42:32,946 --> 00:42:34,078 Jerk. 631 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,582 Bye. 632 00:42:45,726 --> 00:42:49,027 Yes? Oh. Only 25 minutes late. 633 00:42:49,029 --> 00:42:50,429 Come on. Let's get to the restaurant. 634 00:42:50,431 --> 00:42:51,731 The boys are all waiting. 635 00:42:51,733 --> 00:42:52,868 Really? 636 00:42:53,635 --> 00:42:54,934 What happened to your head? 637 00:42:54,936 --> 00:42:56,472 Eh... 638 00:42:59,975 --> 00:43:02,040 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this? 639 00:43:02,042 --> 00:43:03,643 You're gonna take me to the airport 640 00:43:03,645 --> 00:43:05,047 and I'm going back to LA. 641 00:43:05,748 --> 00:43:08,047 But what about Doug and the film festival? 642 00:43:08,049 --> 00:43:09,482 Uh, what about them? 643 00:43:09,484 --> 00:43:12,953 In the grand tradition of Nicholson and Eastwood, 644 00:43:12,955 --> 00:43:15,923 I will accept my Lifetime Achievement Award 645 00:43:15,925 --> 00:43:17,961 in absentia. 646 00:43:19,563 --> 00:43:21,262 Suit yourself. 647 00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:36,080 So how's Bjorn? 648 00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:38,482 Wouldn't know. 649 00:43:40,853 --> 00:43:42,352 I see. 650 00:43:42,354 --> 00:43:44,921 I suppose you just gave yourself that hickey 651 00:43:44,923 --> 00:43:46,258 on your neck then. 652 00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,197 That was there before. 653 00:43:51,797 --> 00:43:53,633 No, it wasn't. 654 00:43:54,701 --> 00:43:57,301 You're a pretty nosy old guy, aren't you? 655 00:43:57,303 --> 00:43:59,103 I don't know if nosy is the word. 656 00:43:59,105 --> 00:44:00,303 When you get to be my age, 657 00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:02,507 there are clear cut delineations 658 00:44:02,509 --> 00:44:06,014 between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. 659 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,115 What he did was unacceptable. 660 00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:11,650 Oh, I get it. 661 00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:14,720 So I guess your behavior last night was acceptable. 662 00:44:14,722 --> 00:44:17,790 I mean, to be honest with you, you're being pretty shitty. 663 00:44:17,792 --> 00:44:20,560 I could give two shits about Doug's little film festival. 664 00:44:20,562 --> 00:44:23,730 But you are being very uncool. 665 00:44:23,732 --> 00:44:25,801 Well, that's life. 666 00:44:27,469 --> 00:44:28,969 He'll get over it. 667 00:44:28,971 --> 00:44:30,637 Are you always this much of an asshole 668 00:44:30,639 --> 00:44:32,840 or just to lowly peons like us? 669 00:44:32,842 --> 00:44:36,242 No. I'm pretty much always a big asshole. 670 00:44:36,244 --> 00:44:39,179 Wow, cool. Must be so liberating to live your life 671 00:44:39,181 --> 00:44:41,385 not giving a shit about anybody but yourself. 672 00:44:44,088 --> 00:44:46,591 Take the next exit, all right? 673 00:44:47,691 --> 00:44:49,727 Why? The airport's ahead. 674 00:44:50,227 --> 00:44:53,695 I can see that, but take the next exit. 675 00:44:53,697 --> 00:44:55,565 To Knoxville? It's a three hour drive. 676 00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:57,032 What time's your plane? 677 00:44:57,034 --> 00:44:58,867 I'll reschedule it. 678 00:44:58,869 --> 00:45:01,237 Okay. I can't just up and go to Knoxville. 679 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:02,739 I got things I gotta do. 680 00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:04,177 Bjorn can wait. 681 00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,778 I was promised an assistant and a car 682 00:45:07,780 --> 00:45:08,948 for the whole weekend. 683 00:45:09,715 --> 00:45:11,550 There are things I gotta take care of. 684 00:45:13,251 --> 00:45:15,020 Now, go. 685 00:45:26,966 --> 00:45:29,235 Don't you think we ought to slow down a little? 686 00:45:29,237 --> 00:45:31,771 We're liable to get pulled over. 687 00:45:31,773 --> 00:45:33,208 Cute. 688 00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:38,246 Goddamn son-of-a-bitch. 689 00:45:41,984 --> 00:45:43,283 Goddamn, it's a Texas Mountie. 690 00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:44,784 What the hell's he doing in Arkansas? 691 00:45:44,786 --> 00:45:47,319 I think you better pull off to the side, Vic. 692 00:45:47,321 --> 00:45:49,758 Well, let's just see what he's got under the hood. 693 00:45:50,558 --> 00:45:51,828 Bye, bye, baby. 694 00:45:55,231 --> 00:45:56,430 Vic, take it easy. 695 00:45:56,432 --> 00:45:58,402 I may be old but I'm not ready to die yet. 696 00:46:09,245 --> 00:46:10,946 What the hell's the matter with you? 697 00:46:10,948 --> 00:46:12,948 We could have been killed. 698 00:46:12,950 --> 00:46:15,116 You think you're gonna live forever? 699 00:46:15,118 --> 00:46:16,251 Uh-huh. 700 00:46:16,253 --> 00:46:18,121 Look, I know you think 701 00:46:18,123 --> 00:46:19,588 you've got it all figured out right now. 702 00:46:19,590 --> 00:46:21,023 Well, I do some crazy things. 703 00:46:21,025 --> 00:46:23,927 Well, listen to me. You're on a collision course. 704 00:46:23,929 --> 00:46:27,263 You're about to make a lot of bad life decisions. 705 00:46:27,265 --> 00:46:28,933 Really? 706 00:46:28,935 --> 00:46:30,868 I can help you before you throw it all away. 707 00:46:30,870 --> 00:46:31,972 Too late now! 708 00:46:34,841 --> 00:46:37,377 No! 709 00:46:38,376 --> 00:46:40,679 My current doctor is better than most. 710 00:46:40,681 --> 00:46:43,681 I still get the freakouts and the crying belts 711 00:46:43,683 --> 00:46:46,717 for hours and hours on end every once in a while. 712 00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:50,957 But I stopped having seizures and I stopped cutting myself. 713 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,829 Wow. 714 00:46:55,296 --> 00:46:57,166 Now I'm really depressed. 715 00:46:58,700 --> 00:47:00,466 It was really bad for a while. 716 00:47:00,468 --> 00:47:01,700 I was convinced the only way out 717 00:47:01,702 --> 00:47:02,838 was to kill myself. 718 00:47:03,339 --> 00:47:05,538 Kill yourself? Are you crazy? 719 00:47:05,540 --> 00:47:07,643 Yes. Haven't you been listening? 720 00:47:08,543 --> 00:47:10,509 Killing yourself is the most selfish thing 721 00:47:10,511 --> 00:47:12,045 a person can do. 722 00:47:12,047 --> 00:47:14,248 Well, I didn't do it, did I? 723 00:47:14,250 --> 00:47:15,820 Well, don't. 724 00:47:16,987 --> 00:47:18,856 You know what's depressing? 725 00:47:19,722 --> 00:47:22,659 Growing old. That's depressing. 726 00:47:23,159 --> 00:47:24,425 You know what your problem is? 727 00:47:24,427 --> 00:47:25,727 What? 728 00:47:25,729 --> 00:47:28,429 You need to lighten up and appreciate what you've got. 729 00:47:28,431 --> 00:47:33,335 'Cause pretty soon, bang, it passes you right by. 730 00:47:33,337 --> 00:47:36,371 - Oh, it's just that easy? - Right. 731 00:47:36,373 --> 00:47:38,873 That is so ignorant. 732 00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:42,711 I'm not depressed. I have depression. 733 00:47:42,713 --> 00:47:44,014 It's different. 734 00:47:44,016 --> 00:47:47,450 Having depression is having a mental illness. 735 00:47:47,452 --> 00:47:50,019 - It has to be medicated. - Bullshit. 736 00:47:50,021 --> 00:47:51,924 You gotta be a fighter. 737 00:47:52,392 --> 00:47:53,524 Things get you down, 738 00:47:53,526 --> 00:47:55,759 you pick yourself up by your bootstraps 739 00:47:55,761 --> 00:47:58,062 and you just trudge forward. 740 00:47:58,064 --> 00:47:59,196 You're one to talk. 741 00:47:59,198 --> 00:48:01,100 I see you popping pills all the time. 742 00:48:01,968 --> 00:48:05,039 That's because I'm in pain. 743 00:48:06,039 --> 00:48:08,108 Well, so am I. 744 00:48:08,574 --> 00:48:10,474 What do you take for it? 745 00:48:12,813 --> 00:48:14,412 Well, I was on Abilify, 746 00:48:14,414 --> 00:48:16,816 which is a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder, 747 00:48:16,818 --> 00:48:18,084 but it felt like fireworks were going off 748 00:48:18,086 --> 00:48:20,787 in my brain 24/7, so I tried Trileptal. 749 00:48:20,789 --> 00:48:22,955 But that caused me to sleep for two solid weeks. 750 00:48:22,957 --> 00:48:24,957 And I was taking that with Lexapro, 751 00:48:24,959 --> 00:48:26,058 which is an antidepressant, 752 00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,293 but that turns you into a fat zombie. 753 00:48:27,295 --> 00:48:29,396 And then I tried Zoloft, which kills your sex drive, 754 00:48:29,398 --> 00:48:30,764 and that's just not gonna work. 755 00:48:30,766 --> 00:48:31,965 Klonopin is an anti-anxiety, 756 00:48:31,967 --> 00:48:34,101 but that put me to sleep for 10 hours, too. 757 00:48:34,103 --> 00:48:35,835 And Lamictal, which is similar to Lithium, 758 00:48:35,837 --> 00:48:37,603 gave me a bad rash all over my body, 759 00:48:37,605 --> 00:48:38,806 which was so not cute. 760 00:48:38,808 --> 00:48:40,575 Then they put me on Seroquel, an antipsychotic, 761 00:48:40,577 --> 00:48:43,010 which also put me into a deep sleep for hours on end. 762 00:48:43,012 --> 00:48:45,013 So they put me on Provigil, which is a stimulant 763 00:48:45,015 --> 00:48:47,147 that kept me up and focused, which is good. 764 00:48:47,149 --> 00:48:48,950 In fact, I had to try several stimulants 765 00:48:48,952 --> 00:48:50,651 before settling on Provigil. 766 00:48:50,653 --> 00:48:51,953 Adderall, Vyvanse, 767 00:48:51,955 --> 00:48:53,989 but those all make you act like a coke addict. 768 00:48:53,991 --> 00:48:56,192 The Suboxone gave me scary hallucinations 769 00:48:56,194 --> 00:48:58,460 and caused me to throw up all over the house, 770 00:48:58,462 --> 00:49:00,529 which, like I said before, is super cute. 771 00:49:00,531 --> 00:49:01,864 I'm currently on a cocktail of Provigil, 772 00:49:01,866 --> 00:49:04,001 Ativan, which is for anxiety, 773 00:49:04,003 --> 00:49:05,602 Prozac for my depression, which helps clear the fog 774 00:49:05,604 --> 00:49:07,370 from my brain a little bit. 775 00:49:07,372 --> 00:49:09,772 And an Enzyme patch, which is an MAO inhibitor. 776 00:49:09,774 --> 00:49:12,541 I mean, it helps but I can't eat chocolate when I'm on it, 777 00:49:12,543 --> 00:49:14,513 which is depressing unto itself. 778 00:49:20,152 --> 00:49:21,321 Can I help you? 779 00:49:22,489 --> 00:49:24,158 Should you be driving? 780 00:50:25,623 --> 00:50:27,794 And we're here because... 781 00:50:29,028 --> 00:50:31,865 Because that's where I grew up. 782 00:50:34,399 --> 00:50:37,100 We drove three hours just so you could come 783 00:50:37,102 --> 00:50:38,969 and see your old house? 784 00:50:38,971 --> 00:50:40,073 Yeah. 785 00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,076 You got a problem with that? 786 00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,212 You are so corny. 787 00:50:46,580 --> 00:50:49,917 Yeah, that's true. Very true. Huh. 788 00:50:51,452 --> 00:50:53,251 Whatever. 789 00:50:53,253 --> 00:50:55,653 I feel like I'm in a time machine. 790 00:50:55,655 --> 00:50:57,458 Everything looks the same. 791 00:50:58,258 --> 00:51:00,126 Smells the same. 792 00:51:00,128 --> 00:51:03,132 - Like dogshit. - Exactly. 793 00:51:03,665 --> 00:51:06,900 I swear my mother's gonna walk out that door 794 00:51:06,902 --> 00:51:08,235 and she's gonna say, 795 00:51:08,237 --> 00:51:11,571 "Marty, get your tuckus inside for dinner." 796 00:51:11,573 --> 00:51:13,105 Marty? 797 00:51:13,107 --> 00:51:15,309 Martin Schulman. 798 00:51:15,311 --> 00:51:16,977 Nice to meet you. 799 00:51:16,979 --> 00:51:19,347 Hold on. Your real name's Marty Schulman? 800 00:51:19,349 --> 00:51:20,747 Are you kidding me? 801 00:51:20,749 --> 00:51:23,351 Nobody from my day kept their Jewish name 802 00:51:23,353 --> 00:51:25,253 if they wanted a career in Hollywood. 803 00:51:25,255 --> 00:51:28,123 Tony Curtis' real name is Bernie Schwartz. 804 00:51:28,125 --> 00:51:29,627 Who's Tony Curtis? 805 00:51:30,426 --> 00:51:31,829 Never mind. 806 00:51:34,430 --> 00:51:35,964 Can I help you two? 807 00:51:35,966 --> 00:51:38,934 Yes, ma'am. I know you think we're some crazy people 808 00:51:38,936 --> 00:51:41,271 standing out here staring at your house but... 809 00:51:41,273 --> 00:51:43,173 Are you Jehovah's Witnesses? 810 00:51:43,175 --> 00:51:45,208 No, ma'am. 811 00:51:45,210 --> 00:51:47,776 I actually used to live in this house. 812 00:51:47,778 --> 00:51:49,345 I happened to be in the area 813 00:51:49,347 --> 00:51:51,948 and I wanted to take a little walk down memory lane. 814 00:51:51,950 --> 00:51:53,450 Oh. 815 00:51:53,452 --> 00:51:54,951 Must have been a long time ago 816 00:51:54,953 --> 00:51:57,154 because we've been here over 40 years now. 817 00:51:57,156 --> 00:51:59,055 That's a long time. 818 00:51:59,057 --> 00:52:02,728 Well, this house has been pretty good to us. 819 00:52:03,396 --> 00:52:06,733 We raised many a child and grandchild ourselves here. 820 00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:11,001 You know, they say that, um, old actor, Vic Edwards, 821 00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:14,371 actually grew up in this house here, too. 822 00:52:14,373 --> 00:52:16,008 No kidding. 823 00:52:16,010 --> 00:52:19,147 Ma'am, this is Vic Edwards. 824 00:52:28,056 --> 00:52:31,592 Oh, I be damned! 825 00:52:31,594 --> 00:52:33,326 You know how many times 826 00:52:33,328 --> 00:52:35,262 I told people you grew up in this house? 827 00:52:35,264 --> 00:52:36,563 I didn't even know whether it was true or not. 828 00:52:36,565 --> 00:52:39,600 And here you are. My God, here you are. 829 00:52:39,602 --> 00:52:41,501 Can I hug you? Can I hug you? 830 00:52:41,503 --> 00:52:43,771 - Well, please, I'd love it. - Oh, my goodness. 831 00:52:43,773 --> 00:52:47,108 Oh! I can't believe this. 832 00:52:47,110 --> 00:52:50,848 Here you are. The Vic Edwards. 833 00:52:51,114 --> 00:52:52,715 Oh, memories. 834 00:52:52,717 --> 00:52:55,250 I can't believe this. 835 00:52:55,252 --> 00:52:57,052 Do you know what? My brother and I 836 00:52:57,054 --> 00:52:59,688 used to come tearing down these stairs, 837 00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:00,855 three steps at a time. 838 00:53:00,857 --> 00:53:03,260 I don't know why we were in such a hurry 839 00:53:03,262 --> 00:53:06,463 but we were racing like it was the last thing we ever did. 840 00:54:00,456 --> 00:54:02,322 Where are you guys? 841 00:54:02,324 --> 00:54:04,292 I mean, when are you going to be home? 842 00:54:04,294 --> 00:54:06,428 I have no idea when I'm gonna be home. 843 00:54:06,430 --> 00:54:07,761 What are you guys doing? 844 00:54:07,763 --> 00:54:08,997 He's on some, like, 845 00:54:08,999 --> 00:54:11,499 weird memory tour or something. Ugh. 846 00:54:11,501 --> 00:54:13,435 Anyway, he's making me drive him around 847 00:54:13,437 --> 00:54:14,770 to all these places from his past. 848 00:54:14,772 --> 00:54:16,338 He's on some, like, nostalgia kick. 849 00:54:16,340 --> 00:54:19,342 It's so not fair that she gets to do that. 850 00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,476 First, we went to this 851 00:54:20,478 --> 00:54:22,811 old little house where he grew up 852 00:54:22,813 --> 00:54:25,780 and then we went to the temple where he had his Bar Mitzvah. 853 00:54:25,782 --> 00:54:26,982 Did you guys know he was Jewish? 854 00:54:26,984 --> 00:54:28,118 Yes. 855 00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,355 Of course you knew he was Jewish. 856 00:54:40,033 --> 00:54:41,565 Then we went to the old pool hall 857 00:54:41,567 --> 00:54:42,799 he used to hang out in, 858 00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:44,369 which is now a cupcake shop, 859 00:54:44,371 --> 00:54:47,371 which he ranted about forever. And then I said, 860 00:54:47,373 --> 00:54:50,141 "Hey, gourmet cupcakes are super-trendy now." 861 00:54:50,143 --> 00:54:51,477 Didn't care. 862 00:54:51,479 --> 00:54:52,845 And then he had to have 863 00:54:52,847 --> 00:54:54,646 a GooGoo Cluster. I don't know what it is. 864 00:54:54,648 --> 00:54:56,414 Maybe they just don't have GooGoo Clusters 865 00:54:56,416 --> 00:54:57,515 in LA or something. 866 00:54:57,517 --> 00:54:58,753 - I don't know. - Mmm. Mmm. 867 00:54:59,019 --> 00:55:00,718 Now we're at Neyland Stadium 868 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:03,656 and he's just standing there, staring at the building, 869 00:55:03,658 --> 00:55:05,257 like a mental patient. 870 00:55:05,259 --> 00:55:06,592 They're at Neyland Stadium. 871 00:55:06,594 --> 00:55:08,161 That's ridiculous. 872 00:55:08,163 --> 00:55:09,429 He was the starting tailback for UT 873 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,531 during the 1951 undefeated season. 874 00:55:11,533 --> 00:55:13,600 Anyways, after this, he wants to go 875 00:55:13,602 --> 00:55:15,735 to some old folks hospital 876 00:55:15,737 --> 00:55:17,838 to see his first wife or something. 877 00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,606 And then we should be on our way back. 878 00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:21,541 This is honestly all your fault. 879 00:55:21,543 --> 00:55:23,379 My fault? How's it my fault? 880 00:55:23,845 --> 00:55:25,845 Because you told him I was his 24/7 driving slave 881 00:55:25,847 --> 00:55:27,181 for the entire weekend. 882 00:55:27,183 --> 00:55:28,582 Okay, whatever. Just take lots of pictures 883 00:55:28,584 --> 00:55:29,618 and Instagram them. 884 00:55:29,620 --> 00:55:31,953 - Oh, and hashtag the festival. - Yeah, right. 885 00:55:31,955 --> 00:55:34,256 - Tell her I said hi. - Yeah, Shane... 886 00:55:34,258 --> 00:55:36,393 I can hear you. I'm back with Bjorn. 887 00:55:36,926 --> 00:55:39,695 Anyways, gotta go. See you when I see you. 888 00:55:43,867 --> 00:55:45,467 Yo. 889 00:55:45,469 --> 00:55:47,603 You leave it. I'll retrieve it. 890 00:55:47,605 --> 00:55:50,273 Bjorn. Hey, it's me. 891 00:55:50,275 --> 00:55:53,576 Again. Where the hell are you? I keep calling you. 892 00:55:53,578 --> 00:55:57,281 Anyway, I am still stuck in Knoxville with this old guy. 893 00:55:57,283 --> 00:55:58,649 I think probably another hour here 894 00:55:58,651 --> 00:56:01,218 and then it's a three-hour drive home. 895 00:56:01,220 --> 00:56:02,790 And then I get to see you. 896 00:56:04,224 --> 00:56:06,559 Oh, crap, he's on the move. 897 00:56:07,893 --> 00:56:10,598 I miss you. Bye. 898 00:56:28,449 --> 00:56:30,317 Shit. 899 00:56:30,319 --> 00:56:32,087 It's my buddy. 900 00:56:33,589 --> 00:56:34,857 Mmm. 901 00:56:37,592 --> 00:56:40,327 All right, well, it appears to be locked, 902 00:56:40,329 --> 00:56:42,497 so we can reminisce on the way back. 903 00:56:42,499 --> 00:56:46,669 Sucks but we have a really long drive home. 904 00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:50,772 What? What? Whoa. What are you doing? 905 00:56:50,774 --> 00:56:53,444 Vic, we can't go on the field. That's totally not allowed. 906 00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:56,514 Come with me. 907 00:57:01,185 --> 00:57:03,622 I love the smell of cut grass. 908 00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:07,459 Mmm. 909 00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:16,132 1951. I was a sophomore but I started three games. 910 00:57:16,134 --> 00:57:18,701 Full disclosure, I mean, I really 911 00:57:18,703 --> 00:57:20,571 don't know that much about football. 912 00:57:20,573 --> 00:57:22,205 I mean... Anything, actually. 913 00:57:22,207 --> 00:57:23,973 But, to be honest, I really don't give a shit 914 00:57:23,975 --> 00:57:25,509 about football. 915 00:57:25,511 --> 00:57:27,211 Well, that's your loss. 916 00:57:27,213 --> 00:57:28,682 Sorry. 917 00:57:29,016 --> 00:57:34,586 We were undefeated, going into the last game against Texas. 918 00:57:34,588 --> 00:57:37,421 They were ahead by two points. 919 00:57:39,327 --> 00:57:41,560 We got down on the four yard line. 920 00:57:41,562 --> 00:57:44,763 I wanted the ball. 921 00:57:44,765 --> 00:57:48,234 I went up and over and I scored. 922 00:57:48,236 --> 00:57:51,541 And then I heard this horrible racket. 923 00:57:52,675 --> 00:57:55,678 The whole damn Texas team landed on me. 924 00:57:57,746 --> 00:57:59,349 When they pulled them off, 925 00:57:59,882 --> 00:58:02,887 my knee was a mess. 926 00:58:05,555 --> 00:58:07,258 I could never play again. 927 00:58:08,691 --> 00:58:10,126 That sucks. 928 00:58:10,693 --> 00:58:12,729 Yeah, it did. 929 00:58:15,098 --> 00:58:17,368 Well, it's fun being a movie star, 930 00:58:18,134 --> 00:58:21,639 but nothing compares to being a football star. 931 00:58:23,741 --> 00:58:24,940 Nothing. 932 00:58:42,161 --> 00:58:44,561 He's in! He's in! 933 00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:45,933 Touchdown... 934 00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:06,255 You know something? 935 00:59:07,355 --> 00:59:09,625 This is the exact spot 936 00:59:11,993 --> 00:59:14,798 where I proposed to my first wife. 937 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,269 Great. 938 00:59:23,139 --> 00:59:25,441 And then everything went wrong. 939 00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:29,343 I had this little ring box, you know. 940 00:59:29,345 --> 00:59:31,648 And I was so excited when I opened it. 941 00:59:32,381 --> 00:59:35,549 The ring went flying out, 942 00:59:35,551 --> 00:59:37,387 right into the water. 943 00:59:38,722 --> 00:59:42,824 And naturally, I jumped in after it. 944 00:59:42,826 --> 00:59:44,860 I never found it. 945 00:59:44,862 --> 00:59:48,130 So I got a piece of seaweed 946 00:59:48,132 --> 00:59:50,032 and I made a ring out of it. 947 00:59:50,034 --> 00:59:52,972 Got down on one knee and put it on her finger. 948 00:59:55,540 --> 00:59:57,243 And she just thought that was great. 949 00:59:58,743 --> 00:59:59,812 Anyhow, 950 01:00:01,245 --> 01:00:03,581 she still said yes, and then we heard music 951 01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:04,818 coming from the dock. 952 01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:07,221 We danced right here. 953 01:00:08,587 --> 01:00:10,223 And then, well, 954 01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:15,263 we always talked about we'd come back here some day. 955 01:00:17,497 --> 01:00:18,832 But we never did. 956 01:00:47,063 --> 01:00:49,229 Why are we just sitting here? I mean, let's go in. 957 01:00:49,231 --> 01:00:51,366 It's still a three-hour drive back. 958 01:00:51,368 --> 01:00:53,534 Just wait a second, okay? 959 01:00:53,536 --> 01:00:55,038 It's not that easy. 960 01:00:56,473 --> 01:00:58,940 It's been a long time. 961 01:00:58,942 --> 01:01:00,107 What are you so scared of? 962 01:01:00,109 --> 01:01:02,878 So she's gonna look old. You look old, too. 963 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,646 I beg your pardon. 964 01:01:04,648 --> 01:01:07,249 Okay, not that you don't look good for your age. 965 01:01:07,251 --> 01:01:08,487 Oh. 966 01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,789 So what's her name, anyhow? 967 01:01:11,722 --> 01:01:12,925 Claudia. 968 01:01:15,426 --> 01:01:16,759 Was she pretty? 969 01:01:16,761 --> 01:01:19,064 She was the prettiest of them all. 970 01:01:20,732 --> 01:01:22,332 We were just kids. 971 01:01:22,334 --> 01:01:24,634 We had no business getting married. 972 01:01:24,636 --> 01:01:26,406 I didn't know what the hell I was doing. 973 01:01:27,273 --> 01:01:29,240 If Claudia's number one, 974 01:01:29,242 --> 01:01:31,345 how many times were you married altogether? 975 01:01:33,346 --> 01:01:34,778 Five. 976 01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:36,581 - Five? - Mmm. 977 01:01:36,583 --> 01:01:39,819 Wow. That's a lot of alimony. 978 01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:41,187 You're telling me. 979 01:01:41,189 --> 01:01:43,154 A buddy of mine told me once, 980 01:01:43,156 --> 01:01:45,991 never, ever get married. 981 01:01:45,993 --> 01:01:47,959 Just skip the middle man, 982 01:01:47,961 --> 01:01:51,197 find a woman you hate, and buy her a house. 983 01:01:51,199 --> 01:01:52,298 But you're rich right, right? 984 01:01:52,300 --> 01:01:53,833 I mean, aren't all famous people rich? 985 01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,668 Ha. 986 01:01:55,670 --> 01:01:57,838 Just 'cause somebody's famous, 987 01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,509 that doesn't mean they're rich. 988 01:02:00,375 --> 01:02:02,810 Didn't you have any kids who could help take care of you? 989 01:02:02,812 --> 01:02:04,615 One, with Claudia. 990 01:02:05,615 --> 01:02:06,981 Grace. 991 01:02:06,983 --> 01:02:09,316 - Grace? - Mmm-hmm. 992 01:02:09,318 --> 01:02:10,651 That's a pretty name. 993 01:02:10,653 --> 01:02:12,953 I mean, geez, if you guys were kids when you got married, 994 01:02:12,955 --> 01:02:16,027 she must be, what? Fifty, sixty years old now. 995 01:02:18,529 --> 01:02:19,998 She's dead. 996 01:02:22,199 --> 01:02:24,335 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 997 01:02:25,636 --> 01:02:27,006 I'm sorry. 998 01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:32,041 Should I just not ask any questions about her? 999 01:02:32,043 --> 01:02:34,012 It's best not to, if you don't mind. 1000 01:02:50,530 --> 01:02:52,999 Aw, shit. 1001 01:02:58,938 --> 01:03:00,774 There she comes. 1002 01:03:03,111 --> 01:03:04,944 - May I help you? - Yes. 1003 01:03:04,946 --> 01:03:07,850 I would like to see Claudia Schulman, please. 1004 01:03:08,850 --> 01:03:12,884 I'm sorry, but visiting hours ended at 7:00 p.m. 1005 01:03:12,886 --> 01:03:17,023 Yeah, well, I came from Los Angeles to get here, okay? 1006 01:03:17,025 --> 01:03:18,092 So let us in. 1007 01:03:18,094 --> 01:03:20,693 We'll just be in here for five minutes. All right? 1008 01:03:20,695 --> 01:03:23,963 I'm sorry, but you'll have to come back tomorrow. 1009 01:03:23,965 --> 01:03:26,533 Visiting hours begin at 8:00 a.m. 1010 01:03:26,535 --> 01:03:28,303 You can have breakfast with her. 1011 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,803 - No kidding. - Yeah. 1012 01:03:29,805 --> 01:03:32,040 Could you lean closer? I can't hear you. 1013 01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:32,975 Hey! 1014 01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:34,942 I'm gonna put this right into your nose. 1015 01:03:34,944 --> 01:03:37,745 No. No, you're not. All right, well, thank you, ma'am. 1016 01:03:37,747 --> 01:03:38,981 We totally understand. 1017 01:03:38,983 --> 01:03:40,916 Thank you. We will come back a different day. 1018 01:03:40,918 --> 01:03:42,418 I don't know who she is. 1019 01:03:42,420 --> 01:03:43,719 Yeah, all right, yeah. 1020 01:03:43,721 --> 01:03:45,153 Thank you. Thank you. 1021 01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:47,489 - Holy shit. - Thanks. All right. Let's go. 1022 01:03:47,491 --> 01:03:48,791 Vic, are you kidding? 1023 01:03:48,793 --> 01:03:50,159 What the hell's the matter with you? 1024 01:03:50,161 --> 01:03:52,962 What the hell's the matter with you, Vic? It's closed. 1025 01:03:52,964 --> 01:03:54,830 She wasn't going to let us in anyways. 1026 01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:57,133 And if you kept doing that, she was gonna call the cops. 1027 01:03:57,135 --> 01:03:58,638 You want to end up on TMZ? 1028 01:03:59,104 --> 01:04:00,803 - TM what? - TMZ. 1029 01:04:00,805 --> 01:04:02,442 - What is that? - Shut up. I... 1030 01:04:03,676 --> 01:04:07,311 Oh, bullshit. You just want to get back to your douche-bag. 1031 01:04:07,313 --> 01:04:09,447 Bjorn has nothing to do with this. 1032 01:04:09,449 --> 01:04:11,081 Oh, really? 1033 01:04:11,083 --> 01:04:13,817 That's why you keep calling him every 15 minutes. 1034 01:04:13,819 --> 01:04:15,019 Will you leave the guy alone? 1035 01:04:15,021 --> 01:04:16,821 Oh, so now you're on his side? 1036 01:04:16,823 --> 01:04:18,957 You know whose side I'm on? 1037 01:04:18,959 --> 01:04:20,158 Mine. 1038 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,760 I'm not leaving here until I see Claudia. 1039 01:04:22,762 --> 01:04:25,530 Tell douche-bag you'll have to see him tomorrow 1040 01:04:25,532 --> 01:04:27,333 'cause we're spending the night in Knoxville. 1041 01:04:27,335 --> 01:04:28,768 Wait, what? 1042 01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:30,969 Maybe you're spending the night in Knoxville, 1043 01:04:30,971 --> 01:04:32,605 but I'm driving back to Nashville. 1044 01:04:32,607 --> 01:04:34,206 You know you're a pain in the ass. 1045 01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,810 Yeah, well, so are you. 1046 01:04:36,111 --> 01:04:37,513 Bye. 1047 01:04:38,313 --> 01:04:40,680 What are you doing? Where are you gonna go? 1048 01:04:40,682 --> 01:04:42,383 - Where are you going? - I don't know. 1049 01:04:42,385 --> 01:04:44,020 Just away from you. 1050 01:05:06,476 --> 01:05:07,812 Get in the car. 1051 01:05:09,012 --> 01:05:10,246 Why? 1052 01:05:10,248 --> 01:05:11,146 'Cause I'm gonna stay the night 1053 01:05:11,148 --> 01:05:12,847 with you in Knoxville. 1054 01:05:12,849 --> 01:05:15,085 I don't want to be responsible if, God forbid, 1055 01:05:15,087 --> 01:05:16,919 something bad happens to you. 1056 01:05:16,921 --> 01:05:19,157 Never hear the end of it from my brother. 1057 01:05:19,825 --> 01:05:22,028 Besides, I think I saw a Motel 6 back there. 1058 01:05:23,662 --> 01:05:26,532 We ain't staying at a Motel 6. 1059 01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:38,077 Can you afford for us to stay here? 1060 01:05:38,079 --> 01:05:41,080 No, but that's the beauty of credit cards. 1061 01:05:41,082 --> 01:05:42,580 Still gotta pay it off at some point. 1062 01:05:42,582 --> 01:05:43,714 Let's live it up. 1063 01:05:43,716 --> 01:05:45,249 I'm tired of feeling like a has-been. 1064 01:05:48,055 --> 01:05:51,023 Welcome to the Knoxville Grand Hotel. Checking in? 1065 01:05:51,025 --> 01:05:52,192 Yes, we are. 1066 01:05:52,194 --> 01:05:53,726 And the name on the reservation? 1067 01:05:53,728 --> 01:05:55,231 Vic Edwards. 1068 01:05:58,199 --> 01:06:00,900 I'm sorry, Mr. Edwards, but for some reason, 1069 01:06:00,902 --> 01:06:03,269 I don't see your reservation in our system. 1070 01:06:03,271 --> 01:06:06,709 Really? My assistant here made it weeks ago. 1071 01:06:08,577 --> 01:06:10,410 - Oh, uh, yeah. - Yeah. 1072 01:06:10,412 --> 01:06:13,414 I made that reservation weeks ago. 1073 01:06:13,416 --> 01:06:16,585 - No harm. One room, two beds. - One room? 1074 01:06:16,587 --> 01:06:18,119 Yeah. One room, two beds. 1075 01:06:18,121 --> 01:06:20,221 Yeah, well, I made the reservation 1076 01:06:20,223 --> 01:06:22,056 for two rooms. So, two rooms. 1077 01:06:22,058 --> 01:06:24,391 How much for two rooms? 1078 01:06:24,393 --> 01:06:26,329 Our rooms rates start at $650. 1079 01:06:26,331 --> 01:06:27,597 Oh, okay, fine. 1080 01:06:27,599 --> 01:06:30,066 - Well, then, uh, one room. - Okay. 1081 01:06:30,068 --> 01:06:31,300 But unfortunately, Mr. Edwards, 1082 01:06:31,302 --> 01:06:33,401 we are fully committed at this time. 1083 01:06:33,403 --> 01:06:35,972 Interesting. When they say they're fully committed, 1084 01:06:35,974 --> 01:06:38,074 it's always bullshit. 1085 01:06:38,076 --> 01:06:39,275 Clint Eastwood walked in, 1086 01:06:39,277 --> 01:06:41,178 you think they'd turn him away. 1087 01:06:41,180 --> 01:06:43,647 Hell, no. Now, you find me a room. 1088 01:06:43,649 --> 01:06:45,652 Please. And thank you. 1089 01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:48,317 Perhaps I should get my manager. 1090 01:06:48,319 --> 01:06:50,523 - Perhaps you should. - I'll be right back. 1091 01:06:51,958 --> 01:06:53,358 Oh, what are you doing? 1092 01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:55,626 You're gonna get us kicked out of this hotel. 1093 01:06:55,628 --> 01:06:58,162 Mr. Edwards, I'm terribly sorry for this mix-up. 1094 01:06:58,164 --> 01:07:00,365 I'm Gary, the Night Manager, here at the Knoxville Grand. 1095 01:07:00,367 --> 01:07:01,765 I don't know how your reservation 1096 01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:03,169 got lost in the shuffle, 1097 01:07:03,171 --> 01:07:05,971 but we'd be happy to remedy that situation right now. 1098 01:07:05,973 --> 01:07:07,640 Oh, thank you, Gary. 1099 01:07:07,642 --> 01:07:09,274 All of our rooms are fully booked. 1100 01:07:09,276 --> 01:07:12,277 However, we do have the penthouse suite available. 1101 01:07:12,279 --> 01:07:14,613 I would be happy to give you that room tonight 1102 01:07:14,615 --> 01:07:15,981 for the cost of the standard room. 1103 01:07:15,983 --> 01:07:18,385 That's very nice. Thanks, Gary. 1104 01:07:18,387 --> 01:07:20,287 Let me get that key for you. 1105 01:07:20,289 --> 01:07:22,889 Welcome back to the Knoxville Grand, Mr. Edwards. 1106 01:07:22,891 --> 01:07:24,224 God bless you. Thank you. 1107 01:07:24,226 --> 01:07:25,291 Thank you, Gary. 1108 01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:27,461 - You're welcome. - All right. Let's go, Vic. 1109 01:07:27,463 --> 01:07:29,863 - You ready, kid? - Oh, I'm ready. 1110 01:07:29,865 --> 01:07:32,232 All right, Mr. Edwards. 1111 01:07:32,234 --> 01:07:33,803 He didn't have a reservation. 1112 01:07:34,736 --> 01:07:36,303 Oh, I know. 1113 01:07:36,305 --> 01:07:37,872 Then what's with the ass-kissing routine? 1114 01:07:37,874 --> 01:07:39,474 Who's Vic Edwards? 1115 01:07:41,212 --> 01:07:42,547 He's a living legend. 1116 01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,020 Oh, my God. 1117 01:07:53,158 --> 01:07:55,390 This thing is bigger than the house I grew up in. 1118 01:07:55,392 --> 01:07:59,028 - Yeah. You like? - Ah! Do I like it? 1119 01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:00,232 Mmm-hmm. 1120 01:08:00,664 --> 01:08:01,998 Oh, my God, and this bathtub 1121 01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,333 is even bigger than my car. 1122 01:08:03,335 --> 01:08:05,069 Oh, well. That's big, I guess. 1123 01:08:06,239 --> 01:08:08,072 Oh, my God. They have a bidet. 1124 01:08:08,074 --> 01:08:10,340 I thought they only had that crap in, like Tokyo. 1125 01:08:10,342 --> 01:08:11,442 What? 1126 01:08:11,444 --> 01:08:12,875 I just figured out what that was 1127 01:08:12,877 --> 01:08:15,946 'cause at first, I thought, it was just a guys' bathroom. 1128 01:08:15,948 --> 01:08:18,283 I can't believe these bedrooms. God. 1129 01:08:18,285 --> 01:08:19,950 I call dibs on this room! 1130 01:08:19,952 --> 01:08:21,619 I can't believe we're here. 1131 01:08:21,621 --> 01:08:24,558 Oh, my God. I have to go look at this closet. 1132 01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:28,861 Oh, my God. Ha! 1133 01:08:28,863 --> 01:08:30,061 I can't believe you used to stay 1134 01:08:30,063 --> 01:08:31,864 in these places all the time. 1135 01:08:31,866 --> 01:08:33,566 Oh. 1136 01:08:33,568 --> 01:08:35,368 Doug is going to freak out. 1137 01:08:35,370 --> 01:08:37,436 We have to Instagram the hell out of this. 1138 01:08:57,427 --> 01:08:59,263 - Whoa. - Oh! 1139 01:09:08,406 --> 01:09:10,308 What the hell is that? 1140 01:09:14,011 --> 01:09:17,480 That was amazing. I've never had room service before. 1141 01:09:17,482 --> 01:09:21,153 Oh, that's one of the perks I miss the most. 1142 01:09:21,585 --> 01:09:24,823 Fancy hotel rooms and room service. 1143 01:09:31,331 --> 01:09:33,300 - Vic the Dick. - Yep. 1144 01:09:34,466 --> 01:09:36,834 You're lucky I'm in a good mood. 1145 01:09:36,836 --> 01:09:39,270 This is you in a good mood? 1146 01:09:39,272 --> 01:09:40,975 I'd hate to see you in a bad mood. 1147 01:09:41,507 --> 01:09:43,341 What do you do with your art? 1148 01:09:43,343 --> 01:09:47,379 Besides draw festival logos and insult people. 1149 01:09:47,381 --> 01:09:48,783 Nothing, really. 1150 01:09:49,550 --> 01:09:51,484 Why don't you have a showing? 1151 01:09:51,486 --> 01:09:53,019 Try and sell something. 1152 01:09:53,021 --> 01:09:54,854 I can't just roll up my sleeves 1153 01:09:54,856 --> 01:09:56,521 and throw an art show. 1154 01:09:56,523 --> 01:09:58,157 Use the bar. 1155 01:09:58,159 --> 01:09:59,958 If it's good enough for a film festival, 1156 01:09:59,960 --> 01:10:01,627 it's good enough for an art show. 1157 01:10:01,629 --> 01:10:04,364 - I get embarrassed. - Mmm-hmm. 1158 01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:07,633 Doug loves to be the center of attention. And I don't. 1159 01:10:07,635 --> 01:10:09,002 Gives me anxiety. 1160 01:10:09,004 --> 01:10:11,538 Nothing wrong with being the center of attention. 1161 01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:15,313 I'd rather be famous and broke than be rich and nobody. 1162 01:10:15,845 --> 01:10:17,978 Instead, I'm broke and nobody. 1163 01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:20,749 That's the worst combination. 1164 01:10:20,751 --> 01:10:22,750 Why can't you just live in the present 1165 01:10:22,752 --> 01:10:25,253 and stop looking in the rearview mirror? 1166 01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:28,758 All I ever hear from you is "I was rich," "I was famous," 1167 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:32,827 I was this, I was that. How about "You are"? 1168 01:10:32,829 --> 01:10:34,330 It's easier said than done, 1169 01:10:34,332 --> 01:10:36,698 especially when your brother's little film festival 1170 01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:40,403 shines such a spotlight on where I was 1171 01:10:40,405 --> 01:10:43,008 compared to how far down I've come. 1172 01:10:43,609 --> 01:10:46,379 It's not Doug's fault that you're not happy. 1173 01:10:46,911 --> 01:10:48,714 Okay, Dr. Freud. 1174 01:10:49,915 --> 01:10:53,050 I'll work on me and you'll work on you. 1175 01:10:53,052 --> 01:10:54,420 Deal? 1176 01:10:56,423 --> 01:10:57,523 Deal. 1177 01:13:15,239 --> 01:13:17,607 - Vic! - What? 1178 01:13:17,609 --> 01:13:19,608 - We have to leave. - Why? 1179 01:13:19,610 --> 01:13:20,742 All right. These are the pictures 1180 01:13:20,744 --> 01:13:22,711 I just posted of you and me. 1181 01:13:22,713 --> 01:13:25,281 And Shane likes some. A bunch of people like some. 1182 01:13:25,283 --> 01:13:27,784 Then I saw that Bjorn likes some. 1183 01:13:27,786 --> 01:13:30,220 And he doesn't have time to call me back all day. 1184 01:13:30,222 --> 01:13:32,523 Yet he had time to check Instagram. 1185 01:13:32,525 --> 01:13:33,890 I don't understand this. 1186 01:13:33,892 --> 01:13:35,725 - Will you listen? - Yes. 1187 01:13:35,727 --> 01:13:38,596 So then, I noticed that one of Bjorn's likes 1188 01:13:38,598 --> 01:13:40,934 was also liked by Zoey Campbell. 1189 01:13:41,468 --> 01:13:43,702 Okay. Who's Zoey Campbell? 1190 01:13:43,704 --> 01:13:46,605 She's the bitch who's been trying to steal my boyfriend. 1191 01:13:46,607 --> 01:13:49,406 The one Bjorn says they're just friends, right? 1192 01:13:49,408 --> 01:13:51,811 So then, I look at her Instagram 1193 01:13:51,813 --> 01:13:55,050 and see that she just happened to post a selfie an hour ago. 1194 01:13:56,717 --> 01:13:58,750 You're way cuter than her. 1195 01:13:58,752 --> 01:14:00,322 You got nothing to worry about. 1196 01:14:01,288 --> 01:14:05,424 That picture was taken in my bed. 1197 01:14:05,426 --> 01:14:07,829 I put that bottle there this morning. 1198 01:14:24,780 --> 01:14:26,015 Will you wait? 1199 01:14:26,017 --> 01:14:27,815 Don't give him the satisfaction. 1200 01:14:27,817 --> 01:14:30,519 Satisfaction? I am going to kill him 1201 01:14:30,521 --> 01:14:32,020 and then I'm going to kill her. 1202 01:14:32,022 --> 01:14:33,822 Hey! Damn it. Hey! 1203 01:14:33,824 --> 01:14:36,324 This is the last time. I'm never going to... 1204 01:14:43,702 --> 01:14:47,036 Oh, God. 1205 01:14:47,038 --> 01:14:48,273 Oh. 1206 01:14:50,609 --> 01:14:52,677 Vic, are you all right? 1207 01:14:52,679 --> 01:14:55,879 Yeah, I'm fine. I just got to catch my breath. 1208 01:14:55,881 --> 01:15:00,116 Oh, shit. Sorry. Uh... Oh, you look really pale. 1209 01:15:00,118 --> 01:15:02,953 I've looked pale for the past 30 years. 1210 01:15:02,955 --> 01:15:06,191 Okay, no jokes. Do you think you're having a heart attack? 1211 01:15:06,193 --> 01:15:08,059 No, maybe I... 1212 01:15:08,061 --> 01:15:09,795 I've had this before. 1213 01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:12,130 Well, do you think we should call an ambulance 1214 01:15:12,132 --> 01:15:14,533 - just to be on the safe side? - Don't be crazy. 1215 01:15:14,535 --> 01:15:16,402 I just need a minute. 1216 01:15:16,404 --> 01:15:18,570 Do you want some water? You know what? Screw it. 1217 01:15:18,572 --> 01:15:19,838 I'm gonna go get you some water. Okay? 1218 01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,744 Stay right here. All right? 1219 01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:24,679 Oh, God. 1220 01:15:35,657 --> 01:15:38,660 Oh, my God. You're Vic Edwards. 1221 01:15:38,662 --> 01:15:42,163 Gary, look. This is Vic Edwards. 1222 01:15:45,668 --> 01:15:47,201 Big fan of yours. Not just in the movies, 1223 01:15:47,203 --> 01:15:49,707 as a football player. You were awesome. 1224 01:15:50,874 --> 01:15:53,541 - ...River. - The FBI. 1225 01:15:57,047 --> 01:15:58,684 We're both big fans... 1226 01:16:08,893 --> 01:16:10,696 Whoa! Excuse me! 1227 01:16:12,798 --> 01:16:14,565 Hi. Excuse me. I really need water, 1228 01:16:14,567 --> 01:16:16,566 please, right now. Thank you. 1229 01:16:16,568 --> 01:16:18,935 Why? What're you doing with the old guy? 1230 01:16:18,937 --> 01:16:20,437 Baby, let me get you a real drink. 1231 01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,806 An appletini for my future ex-wife. 1232 01:16:27,881 --> 01:16:30,048 Oh. Oh, no. Excuse me. 1233 01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:32,785 Excuse me. Hi. Have you seen an old man right here? 1234 01:16:32,787 --> 01:16:35,419 He was sitting in that chair. No? 1235 01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:36,758 No. 1236 01:16:39,594 --> 01:16:41,727 Excuse me. Uh, have you seen Mr. Edwards? 1237 01:16:41,729 --> 01:16:44,097 He was just sitting on the couch just a second ago. 1238 01:16:44,099 --> 01:16:45,397 No, I haven't seen Mr. Edwards. 1239 01:16:45,399 --> 01:16:46,833 How are you enjoying your suite? 1240 01:16:46,835 --> 01:16:48,804 It's wonderful, thanks. 1241 01:16:49,806 --> 01:16:51,237 Ladies and gentlemen, 1242 01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:53,743 an unexpected surprise. Mr. Vic Edwards. 1243 01:16:57,847 --> 01:16:59,349 Thank you. 1244 01:17:00,982 --> 01:17:03,018 Thank you very much. 1245 01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:14,866 ♪ Cuddle up a little closer ♪ 1246 01:17:17,768 --> 01:17:20,371 ♪ Oh, lovely mine ♪ 1247 01:17:22,974 --> 01:17:28,148 ♪ Cuddle up and be my little ♪ 1248 01:17:31,382 --> 01:17:33,051 ♪ Clinging vine ♪ 1249 01:17:35,119 --> 01:17:41,162 ♪ Like to feel your cheeks so rosy ♪ 1250 01:17:42,361 --> 01:17:47,501 ♪ Like to make you comfy cozy ♪ 1251 01:17:49,034 --> 01:17:55,476 ♪ Cuz I love you from head to toesy ♪ 1252 01:17:55,977 --> 01:18:00,382 ♪ Lovely mine ♪ 1253 01:18:02,884 --> 01:18:04,885 Can you imagine? The Vic Edwards. 1254 01:18:04,887 --> 01:18:06,822 - At your daughter's wedding. - Absolutely. 1255 01:18:07,755 --> 01:18:10,226 Thank you. Thank you very much. 1256 01:18:16,064 --> 01:18:18,999 Thank you. It's an unexpected honor 1257 01:18:19,001 --> 01:18:20,935 and treat to be able to sing 1258 01:18:20,937 --> 01:18:22,703 one of my favorite songs 1259 01:18:22,705 --> 01:18:26,845 to the new Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Delson. 1260 01:18:32,048 --> 01:18:33,217 What do you do, sir? 1261 01:18:34,018 --> 01:18:35,616 I'm a doctor. 1262 01:18:35,618 --> 01:18:37,386 Impressive. What kind? 1263 01:18:37,388 --> 01:18:39,757 A colorectal surgeon. 1264 01:18:40,190 --> 01:18:43,526 Hmm. You know, Mrs. Delson, 1265 01:18:43,528 --> 01:18:44,961 you have literally just married 1266 01:18:44,963 --> 01:18:46,194 a pain in the ass. 1267 01:18:49,434 --> 01:18:52,873 Well, good luck to you and mazel tov. 1268 01:19:05,986 --> 01:19:08,887 How did you know Bjorn was such an asshole? 1269 01:19:08,889 --> 01:19:10,821 You pegged him on sight. 1270 01:19:10,823 --> 01:19:12,423 Well, it takes one to know one. 1271 01:19:12,425 --> 01:19:13,659 Yeah, yeah. 1272 01:19:13,661 --> 01:19:15,327 Do yourself a favor. 1273 01:19:15,329 --> 01:19:17,797 Steer clear of the bad boys from now on. 1274 01:19:17,799 --> 01:19:20,335 You can't fix us, you can't tame us. 1275 01:19:22,002 --> 01:19:24,169 - Okay, bad boy. - Okay. 1276 01:19:26,342 --> 01:19:29,812 What about that kid, Shane? He obviously likes you. 1277 01:19:30,445 --> 01:19:34,117 Wow, you pay closer attention than I thought. 1278 01:19:34,984 --> 01:19:37,149 Shane's been in love with me since fifth grade. 1279 01:19:37,151 --> 01:19:39,820 Well, then go out with him. 1280 01:19:39,822 --> 01:19:41,488 Try out a guy who really loves you. 1281 01:19:41,490 --> 01:19:43,091 You might like it. 1282 01:19:43,093 --> 01:19:45,659 Yeah, okay, Mr. Divorced Five Times. 1283 01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:48,028 How much do you really even know about love? 1284 01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:51,502 Were you ever even in love with anyone but yourself? 1285 01:19:52,803 --> 01:19:57,439 Ha-ha. I've been in love about a thousand times. 1286 01:19:57,441 --> 01:19:59,044 But real love? 1287 01:19:59,710 --> 01:20:00,946 Just once. 1288 01:20:04,549 --> 01:20:05,952 Just once. 1289 01:20:17,363 --> 01:20:21,334 It was fun while it lasted, wasn't it, Vic? 1290 01:20:21,900 --> 01:20:24,203 We had some great times, you and me. 1291 01:20:26,073 --> 01:20:28,072 You got to do things and see things 1292 01:20:28,074 --> 01:20:29,743 that most people dream about. 1293 01:20:30,811 --> 01:20:34,248 - Oh, yeah. - Where'd it all go, man? 1294 01:20:35,048 --> 01:20:37,081 And what does any of it mean? 1295 01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:40,888 After all these years, I still can't figure it out. 1296 01:20:41,522 --> 01:20:42,824 What the game is about. 1297 01:20:43,157 --> 01:20:46,758 Survival. Who has the ability to survive. 1298 01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,998 - That's the game. - Yeah. 1299 01:20:51,032 --> 01:20:54,236 Well, I'm surviving. Barely. 1300 01:20:54,937 --> 01:20:56,506 I took it all for granted. 1301 01:20:57,206 --> 01:20:59,075 I thought I had it figured out. 1302 01:21:00,776 --> 01:21:02,343 I look in the mirror now 1303 01:21:02,345 --> 01:21:04,879 and I have no idea who that person is, 1304 01:21:04,881 --> 01:21:06,217 staring back at me. 1305 01:21:13,858 --> 01:21:15,060 Damn. 1306 01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:18,697 You're good-looking. 1307 01:21:20,364 --> 01:21:22,701 You know, time is like this river. 1308 01:21:23,900 --> 01:21:25,902 No matter what you do or don't do, 1309 01:21:25,904 --> 01:21:28,371 no matter how much you think you can beat it, 1310 01:21:28,373 --> 01:21:31,044 it just keeps rushing by. 1311 01:21:31,576 --> 01:21:33,310 You don't beat it. 1312 01:21:33,312 --> 01:21:34,914 You don't beat this river. 1313 01:21:36,214 --> 01:21:37,817 No, you don't. 1314 01:22:00,507 --> 01:22:02,509 Hey, Lil. You know who it is. 1315 01:22:02,511 --> 01:22:04,643 Been kind of trying to call you all night. 1316 01:22:04,645 --> 01:22:06,912 Uh, just kind of wondering where you are. 1317 01:22:06,914 --> 01:22:09,948 You're still at that hotel with that creepazoid old man. 1318 01:22:09,950 --> 01:22:12,288 Anyway, call me back. Bye. 1319 01:22:23,165 --> 01:22:24,864 Vic, you are so right. 1320 01:22:24,866 --> 01:22:26,534 The more I ignore douchebag's calls, 1321 01:22:26,536 --> 01:22:28,438 the crazier it's making him. 1322 01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:31,843 Vic? 1323 01:22:32,276 --> 01:22:33,510 Vic? 1324 01:22:59,037 --> 01:23:01,307 Vic? Are you okay? 1325 01:23:03,909 --> 01:23:07,213 I've watched everyone I ever cared about die. 1326 01:23:09,481 --> 01:23:12,218 One by one, they seem to just 1327 01:23:13,588 --> 01:23:15,357 disappear on me. 1328 01:23:16,324 --> 01:23:19,194 It won't be long before I disappear, too. 1329 01:23:20,527 --> 01:23:22,263 No, don't say that, Vic. 1330 01:23:23,263 --> 01:23:26,334 You want to know why I needed to come to Knoxville? 1331 01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:29,539 I needed to say goodbye. 1332 01:23:31,906 --> 01:23:35,010 Goodbye to the town that made me who I am. 1333 01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:38,545 Goodbye to the trees I climbed as a kid. 1334 01:23:38,547 --> 01:23:40,414 Goodbye to the school that taught me 1335 01:23:40,416 --> 01:23:42,186 how to break the rules. 1336 01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:46,957 And the streets I wandered late at night. 1337 01:23:48,558 --> 01:23:52,363 The hiding places where I left all my secrets. 1338 01:23:54,364 --> 01:23:56,033 The town 1339 01:23:56,766 --> 01:24:00,972 where I made so many, many mistakes. 1340 01:24:03,374 --> 01:24:08,379 And now it's time for one last goodbye. 1341 01:24:42,783 --> 01:24:44,650 Okay, Mrs. Schulman. 1342 01:24:44,652 --> 01:24:48,155 You have a very nice visitor today. 1343 01:24:48,488 --> 01:24:49,822 Mr. Edwards has come all the way 1344 01:24:49,824 --> 01:24:51,827 from Los Angeles, California. 1345 01:24:55,931 --> 01:24:57,930 Now, the Alzheimer's may have progressed 1346 01:24:57,932 --> 01:25:00,032 a little bit further than you're prepared for, 1347 01:25:00,034 --> 01:25:01,769 but she's still a very sweet lady. 1348 01:25:01,771 --> 01:25:03,641 Isn't that right, Mrs. Schulman? 1349 01:25:04,941 --> 01:25:06,373 All right, I'm gonna leave you to visit. 1350 01:25:06,375 --> 01:25:07,444 Okay. 1351 01:25:15,820 --> 01:25:17,121 How's the food here? 1352 01:25:25,831 --> 01:25:27,400 Look at us. 1353 01:25:30,368 --> 01:25:31,469 Old fogeys. 1354 01:25:36,876 --> 01:25:39,246 But you still look beautiful. 1355 01:25:40,645 --> 01:25:44,150 You still look as beautiful as the day I met you. 1356 01:25:46,651 --> 01:25:49,324 We have a lot of good memories. 1357 01:25:51,859 --> 01:25:53,527 For what it's worth, 1358 01:25:54,026 --> 01:25:56,530 I never loved anybody else like you. 1359 01:25:58,499 --> 01:26:00,702 Ours was the special one. 1360 01:26:02,403 --> 01:26:04,102 The first one. 1361 01:26:04,104 --> 01:26:05,840 The real one. 1362 01:26:06,407 --> 01:26:09,111 I came here to apologize, Claudia. 1363 01:26:11,211 --> 01:26:12,744 I just dealt you... 1364 01:26:15,251 --> 01:26:16,753 ...a lousy hand. 1365 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:21,256 I was a stupid, jackass kid. 1366 01:26:21,890 --> 01:26:24,925 All swept up in a crazy dream. 1367 01:26:24,927 --> 01:26:27,296 And I just left you and Gracie. 1368 01:26:30,367 --> 01:26:32,302 I just left. 1369 01:26:33,636 --> 01:26:35,271 I screwed it all up. 1370 01:26:36,472 --> 01:26:39,974 If I could go back and do it again, I would, baby. 1371 01:26:39,976 --> 01:26:41,912 I'd do it differently. 1372 01:26:43,914 --> 01:26:47,148 You were the one that loved me before anybody else 1373 01:26:47,150 --> 01:26:48,486 even knew my name. 1374 01:26:49,554 --> 01:26:51,758 And I treated you like shit. 1375 01:26:54,593 --> 01:26:56,993 I got caught up in all the wrong things 1376 01:26:56,995 --> 01:26:59,429 with all the wrong people. 1377 01:26:59,431 --> 01:27:01,300 I thought I knew it all. 1378 01:27:02,134 --> 01:27:05,505 I thought I had so much time to make it up. 1379 01:27:05,972 --> 01:27:08,772 I thought I could just snap my fingers 1380 01:27:08,774 --> 01:27:10,309 and make things right. 1381 01:27:10,742 --> 01:27:12,513 And when Gracie 1382 01:27:14,482 --> 01:27:15,750 killed herself... 1383 01:27:19,487 --> 01:27:21,523 That was all my fault, too. 1384 01:27:25,159 --> 01:27:27,028 It's all my fault. 1385 01:27:42,210 --> 01:27:43,480 It is. 1386 01:27:46,516 --> 01:27:48,185 Oh, darling. 1387 01:28:05,202 --> 01:28:08,306 Excuse me. Do I know you? 1388 01:28:19,417 --> 01:28:21,585 You really want to leave me here alone? 1389 01:28:21,587 --> 01:28:22,753 Well, I really want some food. 1390 01:28:22,755 --> 01:28:23,887 Well... 1391 01:28:23,889 --> 01:28:26,427 I know I shouldn't stop you, but I... 1392 01:28:27,360 --> 01:28:30,728 - I feel safe with you around. - You do? 1393 01:28:30,730 --> 01:28:31,895 Well, I am safe, ain't I? 1394 01:28:31,897 --> 01:28:34,502 Well, Justice will be back in a minute. 1395 01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:36,702 Justice ain't you. 1396 01:28:55,890 --> 01:28:59,726 Okay, that concludes our Vic Edwards Film Festival. 1397 01:28:59,728 --> 01:29:03,630 We are now gonna give out our Lifetime Achievement Award 1398 01:29:03,632 --> 01:29:06,269 to the great Vic Edwards in absentia. 1399 01:29:14,211 --> 01:29:16,545 I'm sure if Vic were here, 1400 01:29:16,547 --> 01:29:18,613 he would want to thank all the fans. 1401 01:29:18,615 --> 01:29:19,816 Don't put words in my mouth. 1402 01:29:20,818 --> 01:29:24,389 For crying out loud. Good Lord, man. 1403 01:29:25,056 --> 01:29:26,456 Oh, my... Vic... 1404 01:29:26,458 --> 01:29:27,623 Get me a chair. 1405 01:29:27,625 --> 01:29:28,992 Yeah, yeah, of course. Right away. 1406 01:29:44,442 --> 01:29:47,146 Unfortunately, until today, 1407 01:29:48,681 --> 01:29:52,017 the last time I apologized for anything 1408 01:29:52,019 --> 01:29:53,785 was in 1977. 1409 01:29:53,787 --> 01:29:57,592 I punched out a director on the set of Horse Power. 1410 01:29:59,459 --> 01:30:02,197 Well... 1411 01:30:03,831 --> 01:30:05,199 I'm sorry. 1412 01:30:05,699 --> 01:30:07,868 I'm sorry for being such an asshole. 1413 01:30:09,537 --> 01:30:12,007 Leaving the way I did. 1414 01:30:12,841 --> 01:30:16,678 I thought I was too good for this little film festival, 1415 01:30:18,047 --> 01:30:19,716 but as it turns out, 1416 01:30:21,382 --> 01:30:23,185 it's too good for the likes of me. 1417 01:30:25,855 --> 01:30:28,558 Winning this Lifetime Achievement Award 1418 01:30:29,392 --> 01:30:32,627 has forced me to examine an important question 1419 01:30:32,629 --> 01:30:35,699 that I've avoided as long as possible. 1420 01:30:37,701 --> 01:30:40,704 What have I really achieved in this lifetime? 1421 01:30:43,741 --> 01:30:45,542 Most of the movies I've made, 1422 01:30:45,910 --> 01:30:49,044 everybody knows the way they're gonna end. 1423 01:30:49,046 --> 01:30:51,347 Right from the first scene. 1424 01:30:54,853 --> 01:30:57,053 Life's kind of like that. 1425 01:30:57,055 --> 01:30:59,759 - Everybody knows how it ends. - Back away! 1426 01:31:02,427 --> 01:31:04,864 But it's the scenes in the middle 1427 01:31:07,333 --> 01:31:09,236 that make it count. 1428 01:31:10,435 --> 01:31:14,573 The great producer Joseph E. Levine once told me, 1429 01:31:14,575 --> 01:31:17,879 "An audience will forgive a shitty act two, 1430 01:31:19,112 --> 01:31:22,883 "if you can wow them in act three." 1431 01:31:24,017 --> 01:31:25,521 Well... 1432 01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:29,424 I had a hell of an act one. 1433 01:31:30,224 --> 01:31:32,190 Pretty shitty act two. 1434 01:31:32,192 --> 01:31:34,963 And I screwed up most of act three. 1435 01:31:36,464 --> 01:31:38,234 I made certain of that. 1436 01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:40,901 But thanks to you 1437 01:31:40,903 --> 01:31:45,975 and thanks to Doug and Shane and Stuart and Faith. 1438 01:31:47,809 --> 01:31:50,046 And especially Lil. 1439 01:31:55,886 --> 01:31:57,922 And everybody here. 1440 01:31:58,989 --> 01:32:01,791 You've helped me to see that 1441 01:32:01,793 --> 01:32:05,097 maybe it's not too late for my Hollywood ending. 1442 01:32:30,290 --> 01:32:32,826 And so, with humility and pride 1443 01:32:35,094 --> 01:32:37,795 and deep appreciation 1444 01:32:37,797 --> 01:32:40,833 that I, Martin Joel Schulman, 1445 01:32:40,835 --> 01:32:42,369 proud son of Tennessee, 1446 01:32:44,204 --> 01:32:47,975 humbly accept this Lifetime, 1447 01:32:48,976 --> 01:32:50,345 so far, 1448 01:32:52,681 --> 01:32:54,350 Achievement Award. 1449 01:32:57,017 --> 01:33:00,055 And I'm gonna make damn sure that the rest of my life 1450 01:33:01,790 --> 01:33:03,959 lives up to the honor of this. 1451 01:33:05,026 --> 01:33:06,295 Thank you. 1452 01:33:25,483 --> 01:33:27,085 Thank you, Doug. 1453 01:33:31,989 --> 01:33:34,423 I can't believe you just spent the whole weekend 1454 01:33:34,425 --> 01:33:36,425 in Knoxville with Vic Edwards. 1455 01:33:36,427 --> 01:33:38,394 Did he talk about Murder Can Kill You? 1456 01:33:38,396 --> 01:33:39,865 Did he tell you any stories? 1457 01:33:52,078 --> 01:33:53,614 Thank you. 1458 01:34:02,956 --> 01:34:05,026 - Hmm. - Bye, Marty. 1459 01:34:05,793 --> 01:34:06,961 Hmm. 1460 01:34:50,976 --> 01:34:53,478 Uh, Lil? Where do you want this one? 1461 01:34:55,446 --> 01:34:57,012 There. 1462 01:34:57,014 --> 01:34:58,116 Yeah. 1463 01:34:59,116 --> 01:35:00,084 I told you so. 1464 01:35:00,652 --> 01:35:02,119 I know you did. 1465 01:35:02,121 --> 01:35:03,520 And you were right. 1466 01:35:03,522 --> 01:35:06,155 A Lifetime Achievement. How can I get one of those? 1467 01:35:06,157 --> 01:35:08,092 - Can I rent it? - I told them 1468 01:35:08,094 --> 01:35:11,128 about you and they seemed interested. 1469 01:35:11,130 --> 01:35:12,496 Oh, stop it. 1470 01:35:49,233 --> 01:35:53,341 Subtitles by explosiveskull