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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

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<i>please welcome
movie star extraordinaire,</i>

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<i>Vic Edwards!</i>

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<i>I think people
are always fascinated</i>

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about how people
get into movies.

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I gather
your first screen test

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was a fair-sized experience.

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Yeah, it was. My, uh...

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My screen test was

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sad and funny.
I hope it's funny.

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<i>I went into 20th Century Fox
on an interview.</i>

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<i>First guy said,
"You have a very good face,"</i>

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<i>and he said, "We'd like to do
a screen test of you."</i>

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<i>Then I thought,
"Man, I'm gonna be a star."</i>

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<i>So on the day
of the screen test,</i>

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<i>I'm gonna get a haircut.</i>

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<i>So I duck into
this barber shop</i>

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<i>at 7:00 in the morning</i>

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<i>and I say to the guy, uh...</i>

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"Give me a haircut and shave."

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I'd never had a shave
in a barber shop before.

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And the guy had
never given one before.

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And he gave me
the worst haircut

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you've ever seen in your life.

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And then he... There was cuts
all over my face.

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And I had pieces
of toilet paper

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pasted all on my face.

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That was my test.

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And I wondered
why they didn't sign me

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for a seven year contract.

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That was my introduction
to the movies.

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Yeah.

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Squanto.
Squanto Edwards.

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Well, his kidneys
are completely shutting down.

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He's not responding
to the diuretics anymore.

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And you know
had to take him off

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the ACE inhibitors
for his heart disease

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because it's making
his kidney damage worse.

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His body
is basically poisoning itself.

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I mean, he's 15,
so he's not really a candidate

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for something more aggressive
like a transplant.

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What would you do,
if it was your dog?

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I'm afraid
we're out of options.

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I'd have to let him go.

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Yes.

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Well...

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Do you mind if I

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say good-bye to him alone?

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Yeah, of course. We'll give
you a minute to say good-bye.

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Eh...

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Phew...

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Mmm.

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- Nice view, huh?
- Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

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I always loved yoga.

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Oh, yeah. Thinking I'm having,
uh, palpitation.

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Mmm.

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Say, Vic, did you hear

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that Jerry Renner
died yesterday?

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Oh, that's too bad.

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Yeah, he was a nice guy.

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No, he wasn't.

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He was a putz.

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Oh, here.

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Forgot to show you this.

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This was sent to me.
What do you think?

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I don't know
how they got my address

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but they sent it to me.

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This is the International
Nashville Film Festival.

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You're being honored.

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"This year is being dedicated
to honoring you

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"and your impressive
body of work.

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"It's about time.

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- Ah, so what?
- "We would like to invite you

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"to join us for
a retrospective

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of some of your greatest films

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"followed by a gala ceremony
where you'll be presented

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"with our prestigious
Lifetime Achievement Award."

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Look who the previous
winners are,

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Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson

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and Clint Eastwood.

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And it says here
all expenses are paid.

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That's a country music town,
that's not a film town.

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No, no, no, no.

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Nashville has become very hip.
Very hip.

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Well, that's what
I'm worried about.

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My hip.

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Sitting on an airplane
for too long a time,

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what if I get a clot
in my butt?

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Look, I've heard
of this film festival

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and I know
this is a prestigious award.

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And I don't think you're gonna
get a clot in your butt.

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Look, I'm just saying
if you don't go,

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you're a bigger asshole
than I ever thought.

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Well, I guess you would know.

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You've made
such great career moves.

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Nice. Schmuck.

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Good morning!
And where are we off to today?

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- Nashville.
- Nashville, huh?

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That's a great
live music town.

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You gonna kick
those heels up a little bit?

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Well, a very little bit.
There you go.

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- Thank you, Mr. Edwards.
- Mmm-hmm.

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There you are. Okay.

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I'm gonna have to ask you
to get in this line over here

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'cause this one is for
first class passengers only.

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Holy cow.
But I am first class.

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Yeah? Then why the hell
are there pictures of you two

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hugging and laughing
all over her Facebook page?

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Oh, bullshit!

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Don't tell me
I'm being irrational.

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You told me you were
going there with Andrew

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and you lied.

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It's just a simple fact.

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If you're just friends,
then why lie?

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Oh, you're so full of shit.

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You must think I'm the biggest
idiot on the planet.

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Look, I can't talk about this
right now. I'm working.

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I do, too, have a job.

120
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I'm picking up some
old asshole for my brother.

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I don't know who it is.

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I mean, what, do you think
I Google'd him or some shit?

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- Oh, what?
- Hi. I'm Vic Edwards.

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- Oh, Mr. Edwards.
- Yeah. Yeah.

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I... I have to call you back.

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- Hello, Mr. Edwards.
- Hi.

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Um, welcome to Nashville.
How was your flight?

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Was it delayed?

129
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I mean, I've been
waiting here forever.

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You've been waiting here
forever my ass.

131
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Now where is my limo?

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I don't know anything
about a limo.

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- Really?
- But I'm Lil McDougal,

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your personal assistant
and chauffeur

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for the duration
of the weekend.

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We're off to a great start,
aren't we?

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Bjorn, shut up. I'm working.

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00:14:13,672 --> 00:14:15,039
- Come on!
- Hmm?

139
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Sorry. Sorry.
Come on. Let's go.

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All right.

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We'll get you
checked into the hotel

142
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but there's no time to relax.

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We've got to get
to the film festival in time

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for the opening ceremony and
we're running late already.

145
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Whose fault is that?

146
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This is an upgrade?

147
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What's wrong with it?
Look, it's got a kitchen.

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This is a kitchen?

149
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Are you familiar with the term
"false advertising"?

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Yeah.

151
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Well, I was promised
first class accommodation.

152
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I've got a good mind
to have you

153
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take me back
to the airport right now.

154
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It's like I'm on
<i>Candid Camera.</i>

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Is this really
a film festival?

156
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Dude, there's a film festival
and if you don't like

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your accommodations because
they don't measure up

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to your big
Hollywood expectations,

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don't gripe to me.

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I'm just your assistant 'cause
I'm the one with the car.

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Take it up with my brother.
It's his stupid film festival.

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- I'll meet you in the lobby.
- You call that a lobby?

163
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Your key. Really?

164
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I've seen phone booths
that were bigger than that.

165
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See you soon. Can't hear you.

166
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Yeah, right, right, right.

167
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What a shithole.

168
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Don't be crazy.

169
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You're there already.
Just enjoy it.

170
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Enjoy it? You should see
this rat hole.

171
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<i>It smells like piss
and Pine-Sol.</i>

172
00:16:33,491 --> 00:16:35,523
Well, you should feel
right at home then.

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<i>Those boutique hotels
are always small</i>

174
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<i>but they're very hip.</i>

175
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There's nothing hip or
boutique about this place.

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And my assistant, my God.

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She's just a basket case
on wheels.

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Oh, just relax, Vic.

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It's one lousy weekend and
you'll get to the festival,

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everybody will spoil you.

181
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You'll feel like a big shot.
How bad can it be?

182
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De Niro, Clint.

183
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There must be something to it.

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I guarantee you Clint
didn't stay in this shithole.

185
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<i>Oh, stop it.</i>

186
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I'll talk to you later.

187
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I'm sorry about that.

188
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You are such an asshole!

189
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Well, I was just sitting here
and the book was here...

190
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I'm not talking to you.

191
00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,606
No,
I am talking to you, Bjorn.

192
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Shut up for a second.

193
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I'm on the phone, Mr. Edwards.

194
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Yes, I can see that.

195
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Hello?

196
00:18:00,985 --> 00:18:02,184
Bjorn?

197
00:18:02,186 --> 00:18:04,925
Hello? Dammit!

198
00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:30,953
What the hell is this?

199
00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:34,689
This is the festival.

200
00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:39,992
But it's a bar.

201
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,229
Yes. So what?

202
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There he is.

203
00:19:02,085 --> 00:19:04,718
Oh, my gosh. Mr. Edwards.

204
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,755
I can't believe it.
Oh, my gosh.

205
00:19:06,757 --> 00:19:08,556
Vic Edwards!

206
00:19:08,558 --> 00:19:10,225
Oh, man, I can't tell you

207
00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:11,893
how excited we are
to have you here.

208
00:19:11,895 --> 00:19:13,195
I'm Doug McDougal.

209
00:19:13,197 --> 00:19:14,263
We spoke on the phone,
remember?

210
00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:17,232
- Yeah. How are you?
- I'm so good.

211
00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:19,402
I can't tell you what it means
to us that you're here.

212
00:19:19,404 --> 00:19:20,569
We're such fans.

213
00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:23,105
Let me introduce you to
my partner, Shane McAvoy.

214
00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:25,208
We have been best friends
since birth,

215
00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,043
so the first time
I saw any of your films,

216
00:19:27,045 --> 00:19:28,577
it was with
this guy right here.

217
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:30,213
- Really? Wow.
- Yeah.

218
00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,584
Mr. Edwards, sir, your films
have influenced me greatly.

219
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,086
Your performance in
<i>Siege at the Alamo</i>

220
00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:37,054
was a revelation of

221
00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:39,292
gradation and dynamism
and nuance.

222
00:19:39,892 --> 00:19:43,194
Gradation, dynamism, nuance?
Sounds like a law firm.

223
00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,131
Seriously, I get choked up

224
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,766
even just thinking about
that scene

225
00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:50,301
where you're cradling
the dying Robert Mitchum.

226
00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:52,871
And you say,
"Mr. Crocket, sir,

227
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,139
"it's been my privilege

228
00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:56,375
"defending Texas
side by side with you."

229
00:19:56,377 --> 00:19:58,610
All right, wrap it up, Shane.
This is Stuart.

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00:19:58,612 --> 00:20:00,646
He's a local filmmaker
here in Nashville.

231
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:02,214
He actually shot
all the promos

232
00:20:02,216 --> 00:20:03,250
for the festival
that are playing online.

233
00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:05,152
Did you get a chance
to catch any of those yet?

234
00:20:05,154 --> 00:20:08,387
No, I haven't, but I will.
What time do they come on?

235
00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:11,457
It's like I'm on <i>Carson.</i>

236
00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:13,993
<i>Mr. Edwards, it is
the greatest honor of my life</i>

237
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,262
to be seeing you through
my viewfinder right now.

238
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:18,632
I'm making a documentary
about this historic event.

239
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,100
And, of course,
you know my sister Lil,

240
00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:21,336
<i>who, in addition to being</i>

241
00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:23,937
<i>your personal assistant for
the weekend, is an artist.</i>

242
00:20:23,939 --> 00:20:26,107
<i>She actually made
the logo for the festival.</i>

243
00:20:26,109 --> 00:20:29,677
Well, she was very handy.

244
00:20:29,679 --> 00:20:31,147
Well, she's been called worse.

245
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,114
Uh, let's get you over
to the red carpet.

246
00:20:51,803 --> 00:20:54,205
So what is he like?
What'd you guys talk about?

247
00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:55,706
Did he tell you any stories?

248
00:20:55,708 --> 00:20:57,007
Oh, yeah. It was great.

249
00:20:57,009 --> 00:20:59,310
He told me how much
he hated the coach ticket

250
00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:00,611
and how much he hated
the hotel

251
00:21:00,613 --> 00:21:02,313
and how much he hated my car.

252
00:21:02,315 --> 00:21:04,515
And that the film festival's
in a bar.

253
00:21:04,517 --> 00:21:05,984
Yeah, he's a total dick.

254
00:21:05,986 --> 00:21:08,219
I have no idea what
you guys are so obsessed with.

255
00:21:08,221 --> 00:21:09,321
Maybe we should watch

256
00:21:09,323 --> 00:21:10,521
some of his movies together
some time.

257
00:21:10,523 --> 00:21:12,024
Yeah, I got to be
honest with you, Shane.

258
00:21:12,026 --> 00:21:13,725
I'm dealing with some shit
with Bjorn right now,

259
00:21:13,727 --> 00:21:15,227
so could you just run along?

260
00:21:15,229 --> 00:21:18,230
I'm not asking you on a date.
I'm just saying that...

261
00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:20,135
Yeah, that's great. Thanks.

262
00:21:28,175 --> 00:21:30,344
- Vic, you were great!
- Welcome to Nashville!

263
00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:33,183
- I'm sorry to, um...
- Who's that?

264
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,317
<i>Mr. Edwards,
it's so nice to meet you.</i>

265
00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:38,888
<i>I'm a huge fan.
My dad loves your movies.</i>

266
00:22:19,431 --> 00:22:22,600
Okay, now, Mr. Edwards,
if we could, right this way.

267
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,435
- Okay.
- I'd like to introduce you

268
00:22:24,437 --> 00:22:27,237
to our social media director
and my better half.

269
00:22:27,239 --> 00:22:30,141
- This is my girlfriend, Faith.
- Hi, Faith.

270
00:22:30,143 --> 00:22:33,611
Hi. Wow.
It's so exciting to meet you.

271
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,651
All Doug keeps talking about
is Vic Edwards, Vic Edwards.

272
00:22:37,084 --> 00:22:39,818
And FYI, on Instagram,
Snapchat and Pinterest,

273
00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,321
my name is FaithVonAwesome

274
00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:43,957
but on Twitter, it's Faith,
underscore, VonAwesome.

275
00:22:43,959 --> 00:22:46,092
Someone else beat me to it.
But that's okay.

276
00:22:46,094 --> 00:22:47,494
And our Vines are hilarious.

277
00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:49,629
And our Facebook page
already has, like, 200 likes,

278
00:22:49,631 --> 00:22:51,563
so just feel free to
just invite all your friends.

279
00:22:51,565 --> 00:22:55,635
And, FYI, we've got a few
hashtags going, hashtag INFF,

280
00:22:55,637 --> 00:22:59,439
hashtag Nashfilm,
hashtag VicInNashville.

281
00:22:59,441 --> 00:23:01,475
So just feel free
to hashtag away

282
00:23:01,477 --> 00:23:03,313
on any of your pics
that you post, okay?

283
00:23:05,281 --> 00:23:07,415
- Thank you.
- Can I get you a drink?

284
00:23:07,417 --> 00:23:08,983
Yeah, I'll have a whiskey.

285
00:23:08,985 --> 00:23:11,353
- Aye, aye, sir. Okay.
- Okay.

286
00:23:11,355 --> 00:23:12,821
All right, Faith, actually,

287
00:23:12,823 --> 00:23:14,355
just bring it on
into the theater.

288
00:23:14,357 --> 00:23:15,457
Um, we've got tot get going.

289
00:23:15,459 --> 00:23:16,659
We've got a lot of movies
to get through

290
00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:18,428
before the big awards ceremony
on Sunday.

291
00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,496
<i>The screening room
right around here.</i>

292
00:23:20,498 --> 00:23:22,664
<i>There's actually a lot
of local contest winners</i>

293
00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:24,770
<i>and fans that are already
in there, waiting.</i>

294
00:23:25,502 --> 00:23:27,202
Excuse me.

295
00:23:27,204 --> 00:23:29,775
He's here.

296
00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:56,034
All right.
Thank you, everybody,

297
00:23:56,036 --> 00:23:57,470
for coming to the fifth annual

298
00:23:57,472 --> 00:23:59,704
International Nashville
Film Festival.

299
00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:01,743
Yeah.

300
00:24:03,878 --> 00:24:05,378
You know,
we've been doing this

301
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:06,879
for a number of years now,

302
00:24:06,881 --> 00:24:10,649
but I have to say, it's never
been more exciting for me

303
00:24:10,651 --> 00:24:13,419
than this year because we have
with us our guest of honor,

304
00:24:13,421 --> 00:24:16,890
<i>the number one box office star
for five years in a row.</i>

305
00:24:16,892 --> 00:24:18,559
- <i>Six.</i>
- <i>Six. I'm sorry.</i>

306
00:24:18,561 --> 00:24:20,660
- <i>That's all right.</i>
- <i>Six years in a row.</i>

307
00:24:20,662 --> 00:24:23,363
<i>Tennessee's favorite son.
Movie star extraordinaire.</i>

308
00:24:23,365 --> 00:24:25,533
<i>Everybody, give it up
for Mr. Vic Edwards.</i>

309
00:24:30,507 --> 00:24:33,074
So, Vic, the opening movie
of the festival tonight

310
00:24:33,076 --> 00:24:36,378
is your 1961 classic,
<i>Nine Lives to Kathmandu</i>

311
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,447
for which the Hollywood
Critics Association

312
00:24:38,449 --> 00:24:40,550
awarded you Best Newcomer
of the year.

313
00:24:40,552 --> 00:24:43,052
That's the only time I ever
agreed with the critics.

314
00:24:45,589 --> 00:24:48,293
<i>Oh, thank you. One second.</i>

315
00:24:52,264 --> 00:24:54,634
Oh. All right.

316
00:24:56,935 --> 00:24:58,869
Thank you.

317
00:24:58,871 --> 00:25:00,203
So, yeah, Vic, like I said,

318
00:25:00,205 --> 00:25:02,405
if you have any stories
or anecdotes

319
00:25:02,407 --> 00:25:03,606
about the making of that film,

320
00:25:03,608 --> 00:25:04,475
I think we'd all love
to hear 'em.

321
00:25:04,477 --> 00:25:06,111
I have a question.

322
00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:08,613
Please save any questions for
the Q&A after the film.

323
00:25:08,615 --> 00:25:11,615
Well, <i>Kathmandu</i>
was a B-picture,

324
00:25:11,617 --> 00:25:14,618
which means it didn't cost
much to make.

325
00:25:14,620 --> 00:25:17,088
Somehow,
it shot right to the top.

326
00:25:17,090 --> 00:25:20,092
One minute,
I was a two-bit stuntman

327
00:25:20,094 --> 00:25:21,794
and then the next minute,

328
00:25:21,796 --> 00:25:23,628
I was the toast of the town.

329
00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,664
Hollywood can do that.

330
00:25:25,666 --> 00:25:27,301
Wants to build you up,

331
00:25:28,002 --> 00:25:29,406
they can do it fast.

332
00:25:29,972 --> 00:25:32,572
And if they want you
to crash and burn,

333
00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:33,909
they do that even faster.

334
00:25:34,176 --> 00:25:35,741
Speaking of stunts, it is true

335
00:25:35,743 --> 00:25:37,176
that you doubled
Burt Lancaster

336
00:25:37,178 --> 00:25:38,345
in <i>Gunfight at the OK Corral?</i>

337
00:25:38,347 --> 00:25:41,515
Dammit, Shane. I said
no questions till the Q&A.

338
00:25:41,517 --> 00:25:44,685
That's all right.
Nobody doubled Burt.

339
00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:47,821
But I did double somebody
in that picture

340
00:25:47,823 --> 00:25:49,456
and that was Rhonda Fleming.

341
00:25:51,628 --> 00:25:53,462
I had to fall off a horse
in a dress.

342
00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:56,464
All right. Well, I don't know

343
00:25:56,466 --> 00:25:58,032
if it's gonna get
a lot better than that

344
00:25:58,034 --> 00:25:59,870
so let's begin the festival.

345
00:26:16,523 --> 00:26:19,126
Yeah!

346
00:26:23,862 --> 00:26:25,532
Excuse me.

347
00:27:04,106 --> 00:27:05,574
No, I've given you everything

348
00:27:05,576 --> 00:27:07,345
and you still cheated on me!

349
00:27:08,578 --> 00:27:11,011
You cheated on me!
I've given you everything!

350
00:27:11,013 --> 00:27:12,681
- I didn't have sex with her.
- You didn't have sex with her

351
00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:13,914
but you still
cheated on me with her.

352
00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:15,683
Give me a break. Look
at you, wearing those shorts

353
00:27:15,685 --> 00:27:16,786
with your ass hanging out

354
00:27:16,788 --> 00:27:18,287
with that stupid idiot
at this stupid place.

355
00:27:18,289 --> 00:27:19,454
What stupid place?

356
00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:21,089
You're always
screwing my friends!

357
00:27:21,091 --> 00:27:23,558
- I don't mean to.
- You're an asshole!

358
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,894
- Get out of the way!
- Ahhh!

359
00:27:24,896 --> 00:27:26,295
You're a downer, all right?

360
00:27:26,297 --> 00:27:28,764
You're the one who
cheated on me! I hate you!

361
00:27:28,766 --> 00:27:31,233
You can't do this!
How dare you?

362
00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:32,972
After everything!

363
00:27:48,588 --> 00:27:51,492
You got shit taste for men,
you know that?

364
00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:54,592
Yeah? Tell me about it.

365
00:27:54,594 --> 00:27:56,661
Next time some guy
gives you a hard time,

366
00:27:56,663 --> 00:27:59,631
just jab him in the throat,
right in the Adam's apple,

367
00:27:59,633 --> 00:28:01,899
you know, with these
four fingers.

368
00:28:01,901 --> 00:28:05,138
Right there. He won't talk
for quite a few days.

369
00:28:05,140 --> 00:28:07,439
Yeah, well, it's not some guy.

370
00:28:07,441 --> 00:28:09,178
It's Bjorn, my boyfriend.

371
00:28:09,811 --> 00:28:12,682
Well, ex-boyfriend now.

372
00:28:13,015 --> 00:28:15,681
- Bjorn?
- It's Swedish.

373
00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:17,985
I know.
It's Swedish for "shit".

374
00:28:17,987 --> 00:28:20,454
Has he ever put his hands
on you before?

375
00:28:20,456 --> 00:28:23,924
You know, whatever.
I mean, he has to date me

376
00:28:23,926 --> 00:28:25,325
and I'm crazy so.

377
00:28:25,327 --> 00:28:28,498
Ah. So it's your fault?

378
00:28:29,799 --> 00:28:31,099
'Cause you're crazy.

379
00:28:31,101 --> 00:28:33,301
Yeah, you know what?
You don't get anything.

380
00:28:33,303 --> 00:28:35,469
And I don't need
psychoanalysis

381
00:28:35,471 --> 00:28:37,773
from some has-been actor
from Hollywood.

382
00:28:37,775 --> 00:28:39,541
And speaking of Hollywood,

383
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:40,879
why the hell
are you even here?

384
00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,779
Well, I'm only here because

385
00:28:43,781 --> 00:28:46,284
Clint and Jack
and Bobby De Niro all came.

386
00:28:47,484 --> 00:28:49,118
- Clint Eastwood?
- Mmm-hmm.

387
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,623
- Jack Nicholson?
- Yeah.

388
00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:53,156
Yeah. Mr. Edwards, this is

389
00:28:53,158 --> 00:28:55,124
the International
Nashville Film Festival,

390
00:28:55,126 --> 00:28:57,694
not the Nashville
International Film Festival.

391
00:28:57,696 --> 00:29:00,497
That's the big one. Yeah.
Those guys never came here.

392
00:29:00,499 --> 00:29:02,199
Said on the invite
they all won

393
00:29:02,201 --> 00:29:03,834
the same award
that I'm getting.

394
00:29:03,836 --> 00:29:07,038
My brother invited them.
He just never got a response.

395
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,740
In the four years
he's been running it,

396
00:29:09,742 --> 00:29:13,647
you are the only one
stupid enough to show up.

397
00:29:14,847 --> 00:29:15,982
Huh.

398
00:29:40,709 --> 00:29:42,412
All right, huh?

399
00:29:47,382 --> 00:29:49,886
Ladies and gentlemen,
Vic Edwards.

400
00:29:54,091 --> 00:29:55,791
Where's Vic?

401
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:59,227
<i>Uh, okay. Vic must be
in the bathroom or something.</i>

402
00:29:59,229 --> 00:30:00,696
Everybody sit tight.
I'm gonna go get him.

403
00:30:00,698 --> 00:30:02,766
I'll be right back. Come on.

404
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:16,280
- Hey, where's Vic?
- I don't know. He left.

405
00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:17,751
What do you mean he left?

406
00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:21,054
He got up
and walked out the door.

407
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,989
Well, why didn't you come
get me at least or something?

408
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,759
And interrupt the movie?
God forbid.

409
00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:29,931
Dammit, Lil.

410
00:30:31,397 --> 00:30:33,265
- Vic!
- Mr. Edwards.

411
00:30:33,267 --> 00:30:35,570
He wants to be called Vic.
Vic!

412
00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:41,306
- Oh, my God.
- Holy shit. That's awesome.

413
00:30:41,308 --> 00:30:44,512
- <i>Come on, boy. Come on.</i>
- <i>Holy shit.</i>

414
00:30:45,113 --> 00:30:46,448
Dammit.

415
00:30:46,780 --> 00:30:49,347
Here you go. Yee-ha.

416
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:50,682
Vic.

417
00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:52,819
Hey, Vic.

418
00:30:52,821 --> 00:30:56,989
- Um, Vic, you okay?
- Come on, big boy. Up.

419
00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:59,596
Silver.

420
00:31:00,128 --> 00:31:01,260
Everything all right?

421
00:31:01,262 --> 00:31:03,262
Of course I'm all right,
goddammit.

422
00:31:03,264 --> 00:31:07,935
Look at me. I'm riding like
a son-of-a-bitch.

423
00:31:07,937 --> 00:31:10,270
Go, baby. Yee-ha.

424
00:31:10,272 --> 00:31:13,141
You know what my first job
in movies was?

425
00:31:13,143 --> 00:31:14,675
Falling off a horse.

426
00:31:14,677 --> 00:31:18,047
Great. Uh, what do you say
we go do the Q&A, huh?

427
00:31:18,049 --> 00:31:21,016
<i>He's sloshed, man.</i>

428
00:31:21,018 --> 00:31:23,889
I am not sloshed.

429
00:31:24,455 --> 00:31:26,355
Anybody could
fall off a horse,

430
00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:29,725
but a good stuntman can do it
and get up and be okay.

431
00:31:29,727 --> 00:31:31,531
And that is the art.

432
00:31:32,831 --> 00:31:35,397
Oh. Awesome. Good to know.

433
00:31:35,399 --> 00:31:38,134
Stuntmen never get
the glory they deserve.

434
00:31:38,136 --> 00:31:40,503
I was always envious of them.

435
00:31:40,505 --> 00:31:42,505
I should have
stayed a stuntman.

436
00:31:42,507 --> 00:31:44,742
Maybe. Coulda, shoulda, right?

437
00:31:44,744 --> 00:31:47,211
You know, these would
actually be great anecdotes

438
00:31:47,213 --> 00:31:48,812
to tell at the Q&A.

439
00:31:48,814 --> 00:31:50,848
If you want... If you want
to head back inside.

440
00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:53,886
When I was starting out,
all they made were westerns.

441
00:31:53,888 --> 00:31:56,921
I didn't know a damn thing
about Hollywood.

442
00:31:56,923 --> 00:31:58,724
But I did know
how to ride a horse.

443
00:31:58,726 --> 00:32:00,993
So I snuck on
the Paramount lot

444
00:32:00,995 --> 00:32:02,159
and when I heard they were

445
00:32:02,161 --> 00:32:05,063
shooting a Hoppy movie,
I walked up to the guy,

446
00:32:05,065 --> 00:32:07,399
<i>shouting the loudest
and I said,</i>

447
00:32:07,401 --> 00:32:09,904
<i>"I'm the new stuntman."</i>

448
00:32:10,671 --> 00:32:13,238
Next thing I know,
I'm dressed like an Injun,

449
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:18,245
riding a caramel stallion
across the Paramount ranch.

450
00:32:18,247 --> 00:32:21,383
And then I hear my cue. Bang!

451
00:32:22,517 --> 00:32:24,752
And you know what I did then?

452
00:32:24,754 --> 00:32:27,357
Fell off the horse.

453
00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:31,194
Bet I could still do it.
Yell "Bang."

454
00:32:32,128 --> 00:32:33,260
I'm sorry, what?

455
00:32:33,262 --> 00:32:35,031
Yell "Bang."

456
00:32:35,766 --> 00:32:37,465
Bang.

457
00:32:37,467 --> 00:32:39,103
Oh, my God.

458
00:32:41,471 --> 00:32:43,107
Very good, guys.

459
00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:45,477
<i>Careful, Vic.</i>

460
00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:47,108
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

461
00:32:47,110 --> 00:32:49,077
Ladies and gentlemen,
Vic Edwards.

462
00:33:05,932 --> 00:33:09,166
Okay, as promised,
Vic is gonna do a short Q&A.

463
00:33:09,168 --> 00:33:11,102
Vic, your co-star in <i>Kathmandu</i>

464
00:33:11,104 --> 00:33:13,104
was the lovely
and talented Virginia Donovan.

465
00:33:13,106 --> 00:33:14,905
The studio PR department
at the time

466
00:33:14,907 --> 00:33:16,308
played you guys up as an item.

467
00:33:16,310 --> 00:33:18,010
Was there any truth
to that rumor?

468
00:33:18,012 --> 00:33:19,845
Or was that just
Hollywood hype?

469
00:33:19,847 --> 00:33:21,747
No, I banged her brains out.

470
00:33:23,117 --> 00:33:26,617
But the rumors that
we were dating was bullshit.

471
00:33:26,619 --> 00:33:28,088
Look,
I'll give it to you straight

472
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,623
because I'm too old
to give you any crap.

473
00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:33,659
When you're famous,
everybody wants to screw you.

474
00:33:33,661 --> 00:33:35,160
Hmm.

475
00:33:35,162 --> 00:33:37,129
<i>So I porked about
every starlet in Hollywood.</i>

476
00:33:37,131 --> 00:33:38,098
<i>Every cover girl.</i>

477
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:40,667
<i>Every cute extra.
Every hot waitress.</i>

478
00:33:40,669 --> 00:33:44,105
There was one make-up girl
on the set of <i>No Can Do,</i>

479
00:33:44,107 --> 00:33:46,206
what a set of bonkers there.

480
00:33:46,208 --> 00:33:49,209
They should have declared
national treasures.

481
00:33:49,211 --> 00:33:53,681
Probably look like saggy socks
over the menorah now but...

482
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:55,452
What was the question again?

483
00:33:57,955 --> 00:34:01,055
Uh... All right.
Any other questions?

484
00:34:01,057 --> 00:34:02,157
Yes, Shane.

485
00:34:02,159 --> 00:34:04,994
Um, at the onset
of your career,

486
00:34:04,996 --> 00:34:06,896
you were known as
an actor's actor.

487
00:34:06,898 --> 00:34:08,330
You even studied
with Stella Adler.

488
00:34:08,332 --> 00:34:09,968
Yeah. Bitch.

489
00:34:10,801 --> 00:34:12,034
You were compared
to Brando even.

490
00:34:12,036 --> 00:34:13,803
But somewhere along the way,

491
00:34:13,805 --> 00:34:16,139
you started choosing to do
more action-y films

492
00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:17,541
instead of
the character pieces.

493
00:34:17,543 --> 00:34:18,675
Why is that?

494
00:34:18,677 --> 00:34:20,376
And is it true
that you turned down

495
00:34:20,378 --> 00:34:22,081
<i>Serpico</i> for <i>Johnny Speedway?</i>

496
00:34:25,717 --> 00:34:27,517
Well, you know,
it's getting kind of late.

497
00:34:27,519 --> 00:34:28,752
We got a big day tomorrow

498
00:34:28,754 --> 00:34:30,254
so I think maybe, um...

499
00:34:30,256 --> 00:34:31,689
But, you know, he's right.

500
00:34:31,691 --> 00:34:34,759
Pacino, De Niro, Brando.

501
00:34:34,761 --> 00:34:36,430
They picked the right ones.

502
00:34:37,564 --> 00:34:39,066
Bad choices.

503
00:34:44,605 --> 00:34:46,041
Bad choices.

504
00:34:54,917 --> 00:34:57,417
<i>Well, I think, uh,
I speak for all of us</i>

505
00:34:57,419 --> 00:35:00,252
<i>when I say that you definitely
made the right choices</i>

506
00:35:00,254 --> 00:35:02,022
because we love
all your films, right?

507
00:35:05,462 --> 00:35:06,730
Yeah.

508
00:35:07,797 --> 00:35:09,132
Speaking of De Niro,

509
00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:13,233
you sold me a bill of goods,
you little asshole.

510
00:35:13,235 --> 00:35:14,869
I'm sorry, what?

511
00:35:14,871 --> 00:35:18,240
Well, you let me believe
that Clint and Bobby and Jack

512
00:35:18,242 --> 00:35:20,242
all came on to accept
their awards here.

513
00:35:20,244 --> 00:35:22,377
And they never been here.

514
00:35:22,379 --> 00:35:25,247
I never said they came here.
To be clear.

515
00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:28,384
Uh, I just said we had
given them the awards.

516
00:35:28,386 --> 00:35:30,652
What are you
trying to do, humiliate me?

517
00:35:30,654 --> 00:35:33,255
Cannes.
That was a film festival.

518
00:35:33,257 --> 00:35:35,558
Venice,
that was a film festival.

519
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,561
<i>But this is just
a bunch of losers</i>

520
00:35:38,563 --> 00:35:40,467
<i>watching movies
in their basement.</i>

521
00:35:46,439 --> 00:35:48,942
Screw it.

522
00:35:51,476 --> 00:35:53,180
Holy shit!

523
00:36:04,324 --> 00:36:06,194
All righty, Vic,
nighty night.

524
00:36:06,494 --> 00:36:09,195
Lil's gonna be here at noon
to pick you up.

525
00:36:09,197 --> 00:36:11,296
We'll go get some
famous Nashville barbecue

526
00:36:11,298 --> 00:36:13,798
<i>and then we got a big day
of screenings tomorrow.</i>

527
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,703
When you show a movie
on a theater screen,

528
00:36:16,705 --> 00:36:18,337
it's a screening.

529
00:36:18,339 --> 00:36:21,274
But when you project a movie
on the wall,

530
00:36:21,276 --> 00:36:23,178
it's pathetic.

531
00:36:23,479 --> 00:36:25,111
You know,
we're just starting out.

532
00:36:25,113 --> 00:36:27,714
We're doing the best we can
with the money that we have.

533
00:36:27,716 --> 00:36:30,351
Your whole stupid
little festival is a joke.

534
00:36:30,353 --> 00:36:32,387
I get it now.

535
00:36:32,389 --> 00:36:35,956
The joke's on me.
You guys are messing with me.

536
00:36:35,958 --> 00:36:39,126
No, no, Mr. Edwards.
It's nothing like that.

537
00:36:39,128 --> 00:36:41,964
Put it on the YouTube and the
whole world will laugh at it.

538
00:36:41,966 --> 00:36:43,332
Vic, we're your biggest fans.

539
00:36:43,334 --> 00:36:44,899
We would never do
anything like that.

540
00:36:44,901 --> 00:36:47,203
<i>Uh-huh. Well, that's why
this asshole's</i>

541
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,370
<i>following me around
with that camera.</i>

542
00:36:49,372 --> 00:36:51,840
Get that out of my face.

543
00:36:51,842 --> 00:36:53,143
No, no, Mr. Edwards.
Mr. Edwards.

544
00:36:53,145 --> 00:36:54,376
Mr. Edwards, please.

545
00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,844
<i>No, no, Vic, Vic, please.</i>

546
00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:58,215
It's a liability thing.
I don't think we should fight.

547
00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:12,565
You're a jerk.

548
00:37:13,233 --> 00:37:15,766
- Doug!
- No. No, Shane.

549
00:37:15,768 --> 00:37:18,337
I've had it. I mean,
he just broke Stuart's camera.

550
00:37:18,339 --> 00:37:20,438
You want to know the real
reason we brought you here?

551
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,373
Yes, because I'm stupid enough
to come.

552
00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:26,277
Because we're fans, okay?
Because we love your movies.

553
00:37:26,279 --> 00:37:28,180
Because we think
you're a great actor.

554
00:37:28,182 --> 00:37:29,548
And we save all our money

555
00:37:29,550 --> 00:37:31,084
and we throw
this film festival every year.

556
00:37:31,086 --> 00:37:33,885
And, yeah, maybe some aspects
of it are a little low rent.

557
00:37:33,887 --> 00:37:35,555
- A little?
- But I was really excited

558
00:37:35,557 --> 00:37:36,789
when you agreed to come.

559
00:37:36,791 --> 00:37:38,791
Now I wish
that I hadn't even invited you

560
00:37:38,793 --> 00:37:39,960
because you're ruining
the whole thing.

561
00:37:39,962 --> 00:37:42,029
I wish you'd never invited me,
either.

562
00:37:42,031 --> 00:37:43,266
Well, I did!

563
00:37:44,065 --> 00:37:45,801
And you're here.

564
00:37:46,402 --> 00:37:47,737
So, tough titty.

565
00:37:48,471 --> 00:37:50,737
- Ah.
- All right, look.

566
00:37:50,739 --> 00:37:54,309
We've got a big day tomorrow,
"showings" of your movies,

567
00:37:54,311 --> 00:37:55,910
so suck it up, okay?

568
00:37:55,912 --> 00:37:58,113
I'm so sorry you've got
to spend the weekend

569
00:37:58,115 --> 00:37:59,314
being loved
and adored by everybody.

570
00:37:59,316 --> 00:38:00,718
How... How terrible.

571
00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:05,453
Nighty-night, guys.
Out. Out. Bye-bye.

572
00:38:05,455 --> 00:38:08,660
Out! Bye-bye.

573
00:38:13,430 --> 00:38:16,335
Wow. That's a whole new breed
of crazy.

574
00:38:17,603 --> 00:38:19,239
Shut up, Shane.

575
00:38:21,106 --> 00:38:24,007
I'm... I'm so sorry
about your camera.

576
00:38:24,009 --> 00:38:25,976
It's all right, man,
it's the school's.

577
00:38:25,978 --> 00:38:27,246
They insure it.

578
00:38:27,747 --> 00:38:30,147
Man, I told you the wording
on that invitation

579
00:38:30,149 --> 00:38:31,417
was deceiving.

580
00:38:34,754 --> 00:38:37,622
He must be
a really unhappy person.

581
00:38:37,624 --> 00:38:40,594
I heard he could be kind of
an a-hole but that was nuts.

582
00:38:42,329 --> 00:38:45,331
I guess artists
are just emotional creatures.

583
00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:47,099
Tortured souls.

584
00:38:47,101 --> 00:38:49,467
But, I mean, what's there
even to be unhappy about?

585
00:38:49,469 --> 00:38:51,536
He's Vic Edwards,
for Christ's sake.

586
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:54,009
He's made love
to so many beautiful women.

587
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,029
Hmm.

588
00:40:17,799 --> 00:40:19,702
<i>Get over here, Vic.</i>

589
00:40:21,203 --> 00:40:22,538
Huh?

590
00:40:27,976 --> 00:40:29,309
Hello.

591
00:40:29,311 --> 00:40:31,378
<i>You just gonna stand there,
Vic?</i>

592
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:33,548
<i>Just gonna stand there, Vic?</i>

593
00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:35,252
<i>Get over here, Vic.</i>

594
00:40:38,387 --> 00:40:39,890
<i>I love you, Vic.</i>

595
00:40:42,626 --> 00:40:44,560
<i>Get over here, Vic.</i>

596
00:40:44,562 --> 00:40:46,761
<i>You just gonna stand there,
Vic?</i>

597
00:40:46,763 --> 00:40:47,899
<i>Get over here, Vic.</i>

598
00:41:15,629 --> 00:41:16,627
Hello?

599
00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:18,697
<i>Please tell me you're with Vic.</i>

600
00:41:18,699 --> 00:41:20,632
- Who?
- <i>Dammit, Lil.</i>

601
00:41:20,634 --> 00:41:22,833
<i>Are you still asleep?
I can't believe you.</i>

602
00:41:22,835 --> 00:41:24,969
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

603
00:41:24,971 --> 00:41:26,938
<i>You were supposed
to pick Vic up at the motel</i>

604
00:41:26,940 --> 00:41:28,006
<i>10 minutes ago.</i>

605
00:41:28,008 --> 00:41:29,541
Yeah, well, that's funny

606
00:41:29,543 --> 00:41:31,510
because I am almost
at the motel.

607
00:41:31,512 --> 00:41:32,945
<i>Beep your horn.</i>

608
00:41:32,947 --> 00:41:34,646
- Hmm?
- <i>Prove to me that you're</i>

609
00:41:34,648 --> 00:41:36,148
<i>in your car. Honk your horn.</i>

610
00:41:36,150 --> 00:41:37,682
Oh, shut up, Doug.

611
00:41:37,684 --> 00:41:39,054
I'll be there in, like,
15 minutes.

612
00:41:44,493 --> 00:41:47,560
- Mmm.
- Cut it out, Bjorn.

613
00:41:47,562 --> 00:41:48,795
I have to get to work.

614
00:41:48,797 --> 00:41:50,830
- You have to get to work?
- Yes, I do.

615
00:41:50,832 --> 00:41:53,203
What is that?
Driving some old man around?

616
00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:56,070
Can he not wait 15 minutes?

617
00:41:56,072 --> 00:41:58,005
Quit looking
so pleased with yourself.

618
00:41:58,007 --> 00:41:59,573
I'm still pissed at you.

619
00:41:59,575 --> 00:42:01,543
You got a funny way
of showing it.

620
00:42:01,545 --> 00:42:03,410
You didn't seem
too pissed at me

621
00:42:03,412 --> 00:42:04,680
a couple of hours ago.

622
00:42:04,682 --> 00:42:06,551
Okay, it's called a hate bone.

623
00:42:07,517 --> 00:42:09,587
You know you're cute
when you're angry.

624
00:42:12,823 --> 00:42:15,691
No, no. Don't do it.

625
00:42:15,693 --> 00:42:17,561
Oh, it's Doug again.

626
00:42:17,563 --> 00:42:19,563
Babe, babe, I really gotta go.

627
00:42:19,565 --> 00:42:22,235
I gotta go. Okay? Okay.

628
00:42:27,573 --> 00:42:30,707
Lock up when you leave,
all right?

629
00:42:30,709 --> 00:42:32,044
Done.

630
00:42:32,946 --> 00:42:34,078
Jerk.

631
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,582
Bye.

632
00:42:45,726 --> 00:42:49,027
Yes? Oh. Only 25 minutes late.

633
00:42:49,029 --> 00:42:50,429
Come on.
Let's get to the restaurant.

634
00:42:50,431 --> 00:42:51,731
The boys are all waiting.

635
00:42:51,733 --> 00:42:52,868
Really?

636
00:42:53,635 --> 00:42:54,934
What happened to your head?

637
00:42:54,936 --> 00:42:56,472
Eh...

638
00:42:59,975 --> 00:43:02,040
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?

639
00:43:02,042 --> 00:43:03,643
You're gonna take me
to the airport

640
00:43:03,645 --> 00:43:05,047
and I'm going back to LA.

641
00:43:05,748 --> 00:43:08,047
But what about Doug
and the film festival?

642
00:43:08,049 --> 00:43:09,482
Uh, what about them?

643
00:43:09,484 --> 00:43:12,953
In the grand tradition
of Nicholson and Eastwood,

644
00:43:12,955 --> 00:43:15,923
I will accept
my Lifetime Achievement Award

645
00:43:15,925 --> 00:43:17,961
in absentia.

646
00:43:19,563 --> 00:43:21,262
Suit yourself.

647
00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:36,080
So how's Bjorn?

648
00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:38,482
Wouldn't know.

649
00:43:40,853 --> 00:43:42,352
I see.

650
00:43:42,354 --> 00:43:44,921
I suppose you just
gave yourself that hickey

651
00:43:44,923 --> 00:43:46,258
on your neck then.

652
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,197
That was there before.

653
00:43:51,797 --> 00:43:53,633
No, it wasn't.

654
00:43:54,701 --> 00:43:57,301
You're a pretty nosy old guy,
aren't you?

655
00:43:57,303 --> 00:43:59,103
I don't know
if nosy is the word.

656
00:43:59,105 --> 00:44:00,303
When you get to be my age,

657
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:02,507
there are clear cut
delineations

658
00:44:02,509 --> 00:44:06,014
between what is acceptable
and what is unacceptable.

659
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,115
What he did was unacceptable.

660
00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:11,650
Oh, I get it.

661
00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:14,720
So I guess your behavior
last night was acceptable.

662
00:44:14,722 --> 00:44:17,790
I mean, to be honest with you,
you're being pretty shitty.

663
00:44:17,792 --> 00:44:20,560
I could give two shits about
Doug's little film festival.

664
00:44:20,562 --> 00:44:23,730
But you are being very uncool.

665
00:44:23,732 --> 00:44:25,801
Well, that's life.

666
00:44:27,469 --> 00:44:28,969
He'll get over it.

667
00:44:28,971 --> 00:44:30,637
Are you always
this much of an asshole

668
00:44:30,639 --> 00:44:32,840
or just to lowly peons
like us?

669
00:44:32,842 --> 00:44:36,242
No. I'm pretty much
always a big asshole.

670
00:44:36,244 --> 00:44:39,179
Wow, cool. Must be so
liberating to live your life

671
00:44:39,181 --> 00:44:41,385
not giving a shit about
anybody but yourself.

672
00:44:44,088 --> 00:44:46,591
Take the next exit, all right?

673
00:44:47,691 --> 00:44:49,727
Why? The airport's ahead.

674
00:44:50,227 --> 00:44:53,695
I can see that,
but take the next exit.

675
00:44:53,697 --> 00:44:55,565
To Knoxville?
It's a three hour drive.

676
00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:57,032
What time's your plane?

677
00:44:57,034 --> 00:44:58,867
I'll reschedule it.

678
00:44:58,869 --> 00:45:01,237
Okay. I can't just
up and go to Knoxville.

679
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:02,739
I got things I gotta do.

680
00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:04,177
Bjorn can wait.

681
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,778
I was promised
an assistant and a car

682
00:45:07,780 --> 00:45:08,948
for the whole weekend.

683
00:45:09,715 --> 00:45:11,550
There are things
I gotta take care of.

684
00:45:13,251 --> 00:45:15,020
Now, go.

685
00:45:26,966 --> 00:45:29,235
Don't you think we ought to
slow down a little?

686
00:45:29,237 --> 00:45:31,771
We're liable to get
pulled over.

687
00:45:31,773 --> 00:45:33,208
Cute.

688
00:45:36,610 --> 00:45:38,246
Goddamn son-of-a-bitch.

689
00:45:41,984 --> 00:45:43,283
Goddamn, it's a Texas Mountie.

690
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:44,784
What the hell's he doing
in Arkansas?

691
00:45:44,786 --> 00:45:47,319
I think you better pull off
to the side, Vic.

692
00:45:47,321 --> 00:45:49,758
Well, let's just see
what he's got under the hood.

693
00:45:50,558 --> 00:45:51,828
Bye, bye, baby.

694
00:45:55,231 --> 00:45:56,430
Vic, take it easy.

695
00:45:56,432 --> 00:45:58,402
I may be old
but I'm not ready to die yet.

696
00:46:09,245 --> 00:46:10,946
What the hell's
the matter with you?

697
00:46:10,948 --> 00:46:12,948
We could have been killed.

698
00:46:12,950 --> 00:46:15,116
You think you're gonna
live forever?

699
00:46:15,118 --> 00:46:16,251
Uh-huh.

700
00:46:16,253 --> 00:46:18,121
Look, I know you think

701
00:46:18,123 --> 00:46:19,588
you've got it
all figured out right now.

702
00:46:19,590 --> 00:46:21,023
Well, I do some crazy things.

703
00:46:21,025 --> 00:46:23,927
Well, listen to me.
You're on a collision course.

704
00:46:23,929 --> 00:46:27,263
You're about to make
a lot of bad life decisions.

705
00:46:27,265 --> 00:46:28,933
Really?

706
00:46:28,935 --> 00:46:30,868
I can help you
before you throw it all away.

707
00:46:30,870 --> 00:46:31,972
Too late now!

708
00:46:34,841 --> 00:46:37,377
No!

709
00:46:38,376 --> 00:46:40,679
My current doctor
is better than most.

710
00:46:40,681 --> 00:46:43,681
I still get the freakouts
and the crying belts

711
00:46:43,683 --> 00:46:46,717
for hours and hours
on end every once in a while.

712
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:50,957
But I stopped having seizures
and I stopped cutting myself.

713
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,829
Wow.

714
00:46:55,296 --> 00:46:57,166
Now I'm really depressed.

715
00:46:58,700 --> 00:47:00,466
It was really bad for a while.

716
00:47:00,468 --> 00:47:01,700
I was convinced
the only way out

717
00:47:01,702 --> 00:47:02,838
was to kill myself.

718
00:47:03,339 --> 00:47:05,538
Kill yourself? Are you crazy?

719
00:47:05,540 --> 00:47:07,643
Yes.
Haven't you been listening?

720
00:47:08,543 --> 00:47:10,509
Killing yourself
is the most selfish thing

721
00:47:10,511 --> 00:47:12,045
a person can do.

722
00:47:12,047 --> 00:47:14,248
Well, I didn't do it, did I?

723
00:47:14,250 --> 00:47:15,820
Well, don't.

724
00:47:16,987 --> 00:47:18,856
You know what's depressing?

725
00:47:19,722 --> 00:47:22,659
Growing old.
That's depressing.

726
00:47:23,159 --> 00:47:24,425
You know what your problem is?

727
00:47:24,427 --> 00:47:25,727
What?

728
00:47:25,729 --> 00:47:28,429
You need to lighten up and
appreciate what you've got.

729
00:47:28,431 --> 00:47:33,335
'Cause pretty soon, bang,
it passes you right by.

730
00:47:33,337 --> 00:47:36,371
- Oh, it's just that easy?
- Right.

731
00:47:36,373 --> 00:47:38,873
That is so ignorant.

732
00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:42,711
I'm not depressed.
I have depression.

733
00:47:42,713 --> 00:47:44,014
It's different.

734
00:47:44,016 --> 00:47:47,450
Having depression
is having a mental illness.

735
00:47:47,452 --> 00:47:50,019
- It has to be medicated.
- Bullshit.

736
00:47:50,021 --> 00:47:51,924
You gotta be a fighter.

737
00:47:52,392 --> 00:47:53,524
Things get you down,

738
00:47:53,526 --> 00:47:55,759
you pick yourself up
by your bootstraps

739
00:47:55,761 --> 00:47:58,062
and you just trudge forward.

740
00:47:58,064 --> 00:47:59,196
You're one to talk.

741
00:47:59,198 --> 00:48:01,100
I see you popping pills
all the time.

742
00:48:01,968 --> 00:48:05,039
That's because I'm in pain.

743
00:48:06,039 --> 00:48:08,108
Well, so am I.

744
00:48:08,574 --> 00:48:10,474
What do you take for it?

745
00:48:12,813 --> 00:48:14,412
Well, I was on Abilify,

746
00:48:14,414 --> 00:48:16,816
which is a mood stabilizer
for bipolar disorder,

747
00:48:16,818 --> 00:48:18,084
but it felt like fireworks
were going off

748
00:48:18,086 --> 00:48:20,787
in my brain 24/7,
so I tried Trileptal.

749
00:48:20,789 --> 00:48:22,955
But that caused me to sleep
for two solid weeks.

750
00:48:22,957 --> 00:48:24,957
And I was taking that
with Lexapro,

751
00:48:24,959 --> 00:48:26,058
which is an antidepressant,

752
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,293
but that turns you
into a fat zombie.

753
00:48:27,295 --> 00:48:29,396
And then I tried Zoloft,
which kills your sex drive,

754
00:48:29,398 --> 00:48:30,764
and that's just not
gonna work.

755
00:48:30,766 --> 00:48:31,965
Klonopin is an anti-anxiety,

756
00:48:31,967 --> 00:48:34,101
but that put me to sleep
for 10 hours, too.

757
00:48:34,103 --> 00:48:35,835
And Lamictal,
which is similar to Lithium,

758
00:48:35,837 --> 00:48:37,603
gave me a bad rash
all over my body,

759
00:48:37,605 --> 00:48:38,806
which was so not cute.

760
00:48:38,808 --> 00:48:40,575
Then they put me on Seroquel,
an antipsychotic,

761
00:48:40,577 --> 00:48:43,010
which also put me into
a deep sleep for hours on end.

762
00:48:43,012 --> 00:48:45,013
So they put me on Provigil,
which is a stimulant

763
00:48:45,015 --> 00:48:47,147
that kept me up and focused,
which is good.

764
00:48:47,149 --> 00:48:48,950
In fact, I had to try
several stimulants

765
00:48:48,952 --> 00:48:50,651
before settling on Provigil.

766
00:48:50,653 --> 00:48:51,953
Adderall, Vyvanse,

767
00:48:51,955 --> 00:48:53,989
but those all make you
act like a coke addict.

768
00:48:53,991 --> 00:48:56,192
The Suboxone gave me
scary hallucinations

769
00:48:56,194 --> 00:48:58,460
and caused me to throw up
all over the house,

770
00:48:58,462 --> 00:49:00,529
which, like I said before,
is super cute.

771
00:49:00,531 --> 00:49:01,864
I'm currently
on a cocktail of Provigil,

772
00:49:01,866 --> 00:49:04,001
Ativan, which is for anxiety,

773
00:49:04,003 --> 00:49:05,602
Prozac for my depression,
which helps clear the fog

774
00:49:05,604 --> 00:49:07,370
from my brain a little bit.

775
00:49:07,372 --> 00:49:09,772
And an Enzyme patch,
which is an MAO inhibitor.

776
00:49:09,774 --> 00:49:12,541
I mean, it helps but I can't
eat chocolate when I'm on it,

777
00:49:12,543 --> 00:49:14,513
which is depressing
unto itself.

778
00:49:20,152 --> 00:49:21,321
Can I help you?

779
00:49:22,489 --> 00:49:24,158
Should you be driving?

780
00:50:25,623 --> 00:50:27,794
And we're here because...

781
00:50:29,028 --> 00:50:31,865
Because that's
where I grew up.

782
00:50:34,399 --> 00:50:37,100
We drove three hours
just so you could come

783
00:50:37,102 --> 00:50:38,969
and see your old house?

784
00:50:38,971 --> 00:50:40,073
Yeah.

785
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,076
You got a problem with that?

786
00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,212
You are so corny.

787
00:50:46,580 --> 00:50:49,917
Yeah, that's true.
Very true. Huh.

788
00:50:51,452 --> 00:50:53,251
Whatever.

789
00:50:53,253 --> 00:50:55,653
I feel like
I'm in a time machine.

790
00:50:55,655 --> 00:50:57,458
Everything looks the same.

791
00:50:58,258 --> 00:51:00,126
Smells the same.

792
00:51:00,128 --> 00:51:03,132
- Like dogshit.
- Exactly.

793
00:51:03,665 --> 00:51:06,900
I swear my mother's gonna
walk out that door

794
00:51:06,902 --> 00:51:08,235
and she's gonna say,

795
00:51:08,237 --> 00:51:11,571
"Marty, get your tuckus
inside for dinner."

796
00:51:11,573 --> 00:51:13,105
Marty?

797
00:51:13,107 --> 00:51:15,309
Martin Schulman.

798
00:51:15,311 --> 00:51:16,977
Nice to meet you.

799
00:51:16,979 --> 00:51:19,347
Hold on. Your real name's
Marty Schulman?

800
00:51:19,349 --> 00:51:20,747
Are you kidding me?

801
00:51:20,749 --> 00:51:23,351
Nobody from my day
kept their Jewish name

802
00:51:23,353 --> 00:51:25,253
if they wanted
a career in Hollywood.

803
00:51:25,255 --> 00:51:28,123
Tony Curtis' real name is
Bernie Schwartz.

804
00:51:28,125 --> 00:51:29,627
Who's Tony Curtis?

805
00:51:30,426 --> 00:51:31,829
Never mind.

806
00:51:34,430 --> 00:51:35,964
Can I help you two?

807
00:51:35,966 --> 00:51:38,934
Yes, ma'am. I know you think
we're some crazy people

808
00:51:38,936 --> 00:51:41,271
standing out here
staring at your house but...

809
00:51:41,273 --> 00:51:43,173
Are you Jehovah's Witnesses?

810
00:51:43,175 --> 00:51:45,208
No, ma'am.

811
00:51:45,210 --> 00:51:47,776
I actually used to
live in this house.

812
00:51:47,778 --> 00:51:49,345
I happened to be in the area

813
00:51:49,347 --> 00:51:51,948
and I wanted to take a little
walk down memory lane.

814
00:51:51,950 --> 00:51:53,450
Oh.

815
00:51:53,452 --> 00:51:54,951
Must have been a long time ago

816
00:51:54,953 --> 00:51:57,154
because we've been here
over 40 years now.

817
00:51:57,156 --> 00:51:59,055
That's a long time.

818
00:51:59,057 --> 00:52:02,728
Well, this house
has been pretty good to us.

819
00:52:03,396 --> 00:52:06,733
We raised many a child
and grandchild ourselves here.

820
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:11,001
You know, they say that, um,
old actor, Vic Edwards,

821
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:14,371
actually grew up in this
house here, too.

822
00:52:14,373 --> 00:52:16,008
No kidding.

823
00:52:16,010 --> 00:52:19,147
Ma'am, this is Vic Edwards.

824
00:52:28,056 --> 00:52:31,592
Oh, I be damned!

825
00:52:31,594 --> 00:52:33,326
You know
how many times

826
00:52:33,328 --> 00:52:35,262
I told people you grew up
in this house?

827
00:52:35,264 --> 00:52:36,563
I didn't even know
whether it was true or not.

828
00:52:36,565 --> 00:52:39,600
And here you are.
My God, here you are.

829
00:52:39,602 --> 00:52:41,501
Can I hug you?
Can I hug you?

830
00:52:41,503 --> 00:52:43,771
- Well, please, I'd love it.
- Oh, my goodness.

831
00:52:43,773 --> 00:52:47,108
Oh!
I can't believe this.

832
00:52:47,110 --> 00:52:50,848
Here you are. The Vic Edwards.

833
00:52:51,114 --> 00:52:52,715
Oh, memories.

834
00:52:52,717 --> 00:52:55,250
I can't believe this.

835
00:52:55,252 --> 00:52:57,052
Do you know what?
My brother and I

836
00:52:57,054 --> 00:52:59,688
used to come tearing down
these stairs,

837
00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:00,855
three steps at a time.

838
00:53:00,857 --> 00:53:03,260
I don't know why
we were in such a hurry

839
00:53:03,262 --> 00:53:06,463
but we were racing like it was
the last thing we ever did.

840
00:54:00,456 --> 00:54:02,322
<i>Where are you guys?</i>

841
00:54:02,324 --> 00:54:04,292
<i>I mean, when are you
going to be home?</i>

842
00:54:04,294 --> 00:54:06,428
I have no idea
when I'm gonna be home.

843
00:54:06,430 --> 00:54:07,761
<i>What are you guys doing?</i>

844
00:54:07,763 --> 00:54:08,997
He's on some, like,

845
00:54:08,999 --> 00:54:11,499
weird memory tour
or something. Ugh.

846
00:54:11,501 --> 00:54:13,435
Anyway, he's making me
drive him around

847
00:54:13,437 --> 00:54:14,770
to all these places
from his past.

848
00:54:14,772 --> 00:54:16,338
He's on some, like,
nostalgia kick.

849
00:54:16,340 --> 00:54:19,342
It's so not fair
that she gets to do that.

850
00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,476
First, we went to this

851
00:54:20,478 --> 00:54:22,811
old little house
where he grew up

852
00:54:22,813 --> 00:54:25,780
<i>and then we went to the temple
where he had his Bar Mitzvah.</i>

853
00:54:25,782 --> 00:54:26,982
Did you guys know
he was Jewish?

854
00:54:26,984 --> 00:54:28,118
Yes.

855
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,355
<i>Of course
you knew he was Jewish.</i>

856
00:54:40,033 --> 00:54:41,565
<i>Then we went
to the old pool hall</i>

857
00:54:41,567 --> 00:54:42,799
<i>he used to hang out in,</i>

858
00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:44,369
<i>which is now a cupcake shop,</i>

859
00:54:44,371 --> 00:54:47,371
which he ranted about forever.
And then I said,

860
00:54:47,373 --> 00:54:50,141
<i>"Hey, gourmet cupcakes
are super-trendy now."</i>

861
00:54:50,143 --> 00:54:51,477
<i>Didn't care.</i>

862
00:54:51,479 --> 00:54:52,845
And then he had to have

863
00:54:52,847 --> 00:54:54,646
a GooGoo Cluster.
I don't know what it is.

864
00:54:54,648 --> 00:54:56,414
<i>Maybe they just don't have
GooGoo Clusters</i>

865
00:54:56,416 --> 00:54:57,515
<i>in LA or something.</i>

866
00:54:57,517 --> 00:54:58,753
- <i>I don't know.</i>
- Mmm. Mmm.

867
00:54:59,019 --> 00:55:00,718
<i>Now we're at
Neyland Stadium</i>

868
00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:03,656
and he's just standing there,
staring at the building,

869
00:55:03,658 --> 00:55:05,257
like a mental patient.

870
00:55:05,259 --> 00:55:06,592
<i>They're at Neyland Stadium.</i>

871
00:55:06,594 --> 00:55:08,161
<i>That's ridiculous.</i>

872
00:55:08,163 --> 00:55:09,429
He was the starting
tailback for UT

873
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,531
during the 1951
undefeated season.

874
00:55:11,533 --> 00:55:13,600
Anyways, after this,
he wants to go

875
00:55:13,602 --> 00:55:15,735
to some old folks hospital

876
00:55:15,737 --> 00:55:17,838
to see his first wife
or something.

877
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,606
And then we should be
on our way back.

878
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:21,541
<i>This is honestly
all your fault.</i>

879
00:55:21,543 --> 00:55:23,379
My fault? How's it my fault?

880
00:55:23,845 --> 00:55:25,845
Because you told him
I was his 24/7 driving slave

881
00:55:25,847 --> 00:55:27,181
for the entire weekend.

882
00:55:27,183 --> 00:55:28,582
Okay, whatever.
Just take lots of pictures

883
00:55:28,584 --> 00:55:29,618
and Instagram them.

884
00:55:29,620 --> 00:55:31,953
- <i>Oh, and hashtag the festival.</i>
- Yeah, right.

885
00:55:31,955 --> 00:55:34,256
- Tell her I said hi.
- <i>Yeah, Shane...</i>

886
00:55:34,258 --> 00:55:36,393
I can hear you.
I'm back with Bjorn.

887
00:55:36,926 --> 00:55:39,695
Anyways, gotta go.
See you when I see you.

888
00:55:43,867 --> 00:55:45,467
<i>Yo.</i>

889
00:55:45,469 --> 00:55:47,603
<i>You leave it.
I'll retrieve it.</i>

890
00:55:47,605 --> 00:55:50,273
Bjorn. Hey, it's me.

891
00:55:50,275 --> 00:55:53,576
Again. Where the hell are you?
I keep calling you.

892
00:55:53,578 --> 00:55:57,281
Anyway, I am still stuck in
Knoxville with this old guy.

893
00:55:57,283 --> 00:55:58,649
I think probably
another hour here

894
00:55:58,651 --> 00:56:01,218
and then it's
a three-hour drive home.

895
00:56:01,220 --> 00:56:02,790
And then I get to see you.

896
00:56:04,224 --> 00:56:06,559
Oh, crap, he's on the move.

897
00:56:07,893 --> 00:56:10,598
I miss you. Bye.

898
00:56:28,449 --> 00:56:30,317
Shit.

899
00:56:30,319 --> 00:56:32,087
It's my buddy.

900
00:56:33,589 --> 00:56:34,857
Mmm.

901
00:56:37,592 --> 00:56:40,327
All right, well,
it appears to be locked,

902
00:56:40,329 --> 00:56:42,497
so we can reminisce
on the way back.

903
00:56:42,499 --> 00:56:46,669
Sucks but we have
a really long drive home.

904
00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:50,772
What? What? Whoa.
What are you doing?

905
00:56:50,774 --> 00:56:53,444
Vic, we can't go on the field.
That's totally not allowed.

906
00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:56,514
Come with me.

907
00:57:01,185 --> 00:57:03,622
I love the smell of cut grass.

908
00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:07,459
Mmm.

909
00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:16,132
1951. I was a sophomore
but I started three games.

910
00:57:16,134 --> 00:57:18,701
Full disclosure,
I mean, I really

911
00:57:18,703 --> 00:57:20,571
don't know that much
about football.

912
00:57:20,573 --> 00:57:22,205
I mean... Anything, actually.

913
00:57:22,207 --> 00:57:23,973
But, to be honest,
I really don't give a shit

914
00:57:23,975 --> 00:57:25,509
about football.

915
00:57:25,511 --> 00:57:27,211
Well, that's your loss.

916
00:57:27,213 --> 00:57:28,682
Sorry.

917
00:57:29,016 --> 00:57:34,586
We were undefeated, going into
the last game against Texas.

918
00:57:34,588 --> 00:57:37,421
They were ahead by two points.

919
00:57:39,327 --> 00:57:41,560
We got down
on the four yard line.

920
00:57:41,562 --> 00:57:44,763
I wanted the ball.

921
00:57:44,765 --> 00:57:48,234
I went up and over
and I scored.

922
00:57:48,236 --> 00:57:51,541
And then I heard
this horrible racket.

923
00:57:52,675 --> 00:57:55,678
The whole damn Texas team
landed on me.

924
00:57:57,746 --> 00:57:59,349
When they pulled them off,

925
00:57:59,882 --> 00:58:02,887
my knee was a mess.

926
00:58:05,555 --> 00:58:07,258
I could never play again.

927
00:58:08,691 --> 00:58:10,126
That sucks.

928
00:58:10,693 --> 00:58:12,729
Yeah, it did.

929
00:58:15,098 --> 00:58:17,368
Well, it's fun
being a movie star,

930
00:58:18,134 --> 00:58:21,639
but nothing compares
to being a football star.

931
00:58:23,741 --> 00:58:24,940
Nothing.

932
00:58:42,161 --> 00:58:44,561
<i>He's in! He's in!</i>

933
00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:45,933
<i>Touchdown...</i>

934
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:06,255
You know something?

935
00:59:07,355 --> 00:59:09,625
This is the exact spot

936
00:59:11,993 --> 00:59:14,798
where I proposed
to my first wife.

937
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,269
Great.

938
00:59:23,139 --> 00:59:25,441
And then
everything went wrong.

939
00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:29,343
I had this little ring box,
you know.

940
00:59:29,345 --> 00:59:31,648
And I was so excited
when I opened it.

941
00:59:32,381 --> 00:59:35,549
The ring
went flying out,

942
00:59:35,551 --> 00:59:37,387
right into the water.

943
00:59:38,722 --> 00:59:42,824
And naturally,
I jumped in after it.

944
00:59:42,826 --> 00:59:44,860
I never found it.

945
00:59:44,862 --> 00:59:48,130
So I got a piece of seaweed

946
00:59:48,132 --> 00:59:50,032
and I made a ring out of it.

947
00:59:50,034 --> 00:59:52,972
Got down on one knee
and put it on her finger.

948
00:59:55,540 --> 00:59:57,243
And she just thought
that was great.

949
00:59:58,743 --> 00:59:59,812
Anyhow,

950
01:00:01,245 --> 01:00:03,581
she still said yes,
and then we heard music

951
01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:04,818
coming from the dock.

952
01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:07,221
We danced right here.

953
01:00:08,587 --> 01:00:10,223
And then, well,

954
01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:15,263
we always talked about
we'd come back here some day.

955
01:00:17,497 --> 01:00:18,832
But we never did.

956
01:00:47,063 --> 01:00:49,229
Why are we just sitting here?
I mean, let's go in.

957
01:00:49,231 --> 01:00:51,366
It's still
a three-hour drive back.

958
01:00:51,368 --> 01:00:53,534
Just wait a second, okay?

959
01:00:53,536 --> 01:00:55,038
It's not that easy.

960
01:00:56,473 --> 01:00:58,940
It's been a long time.

961
01:00:58,942 --> 01:01:00,107
What are you so scared of?

962
01:01:00,109 --> 01:01:02,878
So she's gonna look old.
You look old, too.

963
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,646
I beg your pardon.

964
01:01:04,648 --> 01:01:07,249
Okay, not that you don't
look good for your age.

965
01:01:07,251 --> 01:01:08,487
Oh.

966
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,789
So what's her name, anyhow?

967
01:01:11,722 --> 01:01:12,925
Claudia.

968
01:01:15,426 --> 01:01:16,759
Was she pretty?

969
01:01:16,761 --> 01:01:19,064
She was the prettiest
of them all.

970
01:01:20,732 --> 01:01:22,332
We were just kids.

971
01:01:22,334 --> 01:01:24,634
We had no business
getting married.

972
01:01:24,636 --> 01:01:26,406
I didn't know
what the hell I was doing.

973
01:01:27,273 --> 01:01:29,240
If Claudia's number one,

974
01:01:29,242 --> 01:01:31,345
how many times
were you married altogether?

975
01:01:33,346 --> 01:01:34,778
Five.

976
01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:36,581
- Five?
- Mmm.

977
01:01:36,583 --> 01:01:39,819
Wow.
That's a lot of alimony.

978
01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:41,187
You're telling me.

979
01:01:41,189 --> 01:01:43,154
A buddy of mine told me once,

980
01:01:43,156 --> 01:01:45,991
never, ever get married.

981
01:01:45,993 --> 01:01:47,959
Just skip the middle man,

982
01:01:47,961 --> 01:01:51,197
find a woman you hate,
and buy her a house.

983
01:01:51,199 --> 01:01:52,298
But you're rich right, right?

984
01:01:52,300 --> 01:01:53,833
I mean, aren't all
famous people rich?

985
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,668
Ha.

986
01:01:55,670 --> 01:01:57,838
Just 'cause somebody's famous,

987
01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,509
that doesn't mean
they're rich.

988
01:02:00,375 --> 01:02:02,810
Didn't you have any kids who
could help take care of you?

989
01:02:02,812 --> 01:02:04,615
One, with Claudia.

990
01:02:05,615 --> 01:02:06,981
Grace.

991
01:02:06,983 --> 01:02:09,316
- Grace?
- Mmm-hmm.

992
01:02:09,318 --> 01:02:10,651
That's a pretty name.

993
01:02:10,653 --> 01:02:12,953
I mean, geez, if you guys were
kids when you got married,

994
01:02:12,955 --> 01:02:16,027
she must be, what?
Fifty, sixty years old now.

995
01:02:18,529 --> 01:02:19,998
She's dead.

996
01:02:22,199 --> 01:02:24,335
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.

997
01:02:25,636 --> 01:02:27,006
I'm sorry.

998
01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:32,041
Should I just not ask
any questions about her?

999
01:02:32,043 --> 01:02:34,012
It's best not to,
if you don't mind.

1000
01:02:50,530 --> 01:02:52,999
Aw, shit.

1001
01:02:58,938 --> 01:03:00,774
There she comes.

1002
01:03:03,111 --> 01:03:04,944
- May I help you?
- Yes.

1003
01:03:04,946 --> 01:03:07,850
I would like to see
Claudia Schulman, please.

1004
01:03:08,850 --> 01:03:12,884
I'm sorry, but visiting hours
ended at 7:00 p.m.

1005
01:03:12,886 --> 01:03:17,023
Yeah, well, I came from
Los Angeles to get here, okay?

1006
01:03:17,025 --> 01:03:18,092
So let us in.

1007
01:03:18,094 --> 01:03:20,693
We'll just be in here for
five minutes. All right?

1008
01:03:20,695 --> 01:03:23,963
I'm sorry, but you'll have
to come back tomorrow.

1009
01:03:23,965 --> 01:03:26,533
Visiting hours
begin at 8:00 a.m.

1010
01:03:26,535 --> 01:03:28,303
You can have
breakfast with her.

1011
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,803
- No kidding.
- Yeah.

1012
01:03:29,805 --> 01:03:32,040
Could you lean closer?
I can't hear you.

1013
01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:32,975
Hey!

1014
01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:34,942
I'm gonna put this
right into your nose.

1015
01:03:34,944 --> 01:03:37,745
No. No, you're not. All right,
well, thank you, ma'am.

1016
01:03:37,747 --> 01:03:38,981
We totally understand.

1017
01:03:38,983 --> 01:03:40,916
Thank you. We will
come back a different day.

1018
01:03:40,918 --> 01:03:42,418
I don't know who she is.

1019
01:03:42,420 --> 01:03:43,719
Yeah, all right, yeah.

1020
01:03:43,721 --> 01:03:45,153
Thank you. Thank you.

1021
01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:47,489
- Holy shit.
- Thanks. All right. Let's go.

1022
01:03:47,491 --> 01:03:48,791
Vic, are you kidding?

1023
01:03:48,793 --> 01:03:50,159
What the hell's
the matter with you?

1024
01:03:50,161 --> 01:03:52,962
What the hell's the matter
with you, Vic? It's closed.

1025
01:03:52,964 --> 01:03:54,830
She wasn't going
to let us in anyways.

1026
01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:57,133
And if you kept doing that,
she was gonna call the cops.

1027
01:03:57,135 --> 01:03:58,638
You want to end up on TMZ?

1028
01:03:59,104 --> 01:04:00,803
- TM what?
- TMZ.

1029
01:04:00,805 --> 01:04:02,442
- What is that?
- Shut up. I...

1030
01:04:03,676 --> 01:04:07,311
Oh, bullshit. You just want to
get back to your douche-bag.

1031
01:04:07,313 --> 01:04:09,447
Bjorn has nothing
to do with this.

1032
01:04:09,449 --> 01:04:11,081
Oh, really?

1033
01:04:11,083 --> 01:04:13,817
That's why you keep
calling him every 15 minutes.

1034
01:04:13,819 --> 01:04:15,019
Will you leave the guy alone?

1035
01:04:15,021 --> 01:04:16,821
Oh, so now you're on his side?

1036
01:04:16,823 --> 01:04:18,957
You know whose side I'm on?

1037
01:04:18,959 --> 01:04:20,158
Mine.

1038
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,760
I'm not leaving here
until I see Claudia.

1039
01:04:22,762 --> 01:04:25,530
Tell douche-bag you'll
have to see him tomorrow

1040
01:04:25,532 --> 01:04:27,333
'cause we're spending
the night in Knoxville.

1041
01:04:27,335 --> 01:04:28,768
Wait, what?

1042
01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:30,969
Maybe you're spending
the night in Knoxville,

1043
01:04:30,971 --> 01:04:32,605
but I'm driving back
to Nashville.

1044
01:04:32,607 --> 01:04:34,206
You know
you're a pain in the ass.

1045
01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,810
Yeah, well, so are you.

1046
01:04:36,111 --> 01:04:37,513
Bye.

1047
01:04:38,313 --> 01:04:40,680
What are you doing?
Where are you gonna go?

1048
01:04:40,682 --> 01:04:42,383
- Where are you going?
- I don't know.

1049
01:04:42,385 --> 01:04:44,020
Just away from you.

1050
01:05:06,476 --> 01:05:07,812
Get in the car.

1051
01:05:09,012 --> 01:05:10,246
Why?

1052
01:05:10,248 --> 01:05:11,146
'Cause I'm gonna
stay the night

1053
01:05:11,148 --> 01:05:12,847
with you in Knoxville.

1054
01:05:12,849 --> 01:05:15,085
I don't want to be
responsible if, God forbid,

1055
01:05:15,087 --> 01:05:16,919
something bad happens to you.

1056
01:05:16,921 --> 01:05:19,157
Never hear the end of it
from my brother.

1057
01:05:19,825 --> 01:05:22,028
Besides, I think I saw
a Motel 6 back there.

1058
01:05:23,662 --> 01:05:26,532
We ain't staying at a Motel 6.

1059
01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:38,077
Can you afford
for us to stay here?

1060
01:05:38,079 --> 01:05:41,080
No, but that's the beauty
of credit cards.

1061
01:05:41,082 --> 01:05:42,580
Still gotta pay it off
at some point.

1062
01:05:42,582 --> 01:05:43,714
Let's live it up.

1063
01:05:43,716 --> 01:05:45,249
I'm tired of feeling
like a has-been.

1064
01:05:48,055 --> 01:05:51,023
Welcome to the Knoxville
Grand Hotel. Checking in?

1065
01:05:51,025 --> 01:05:52,192
Yes, we are.

1066
01:05:52,194 --> 01:05:53,726
And the name
on the reservation?

1067
01:05:53,728 --> 01:05:55,231
Vic Edwards.

1068
01:05:58,199 --> 01:06:00,900
I'm sorry, Mr. Edwards,
but for some reason,

1069
01:06:00,902 --> 01:06:03,269
I don't see your reservation
in our system.

1070
01:06:03,271 --> 01:06:06,709
Really? My assistant here
made it weeks ago.

1071
01:06:08,577 --> 01:06:10,410
- Oh, uh, yeah.
- Yeah.

1072
01:06:10,412 --> 01:06:13,414
I made that reservation
weeks ago.

1073
01:06:13,416 --> 01:06:16,585
- No harm. One room, two beds.
- One room?

1074
01:06:16,587 --> 01:06:18,119
Yeah. One room, two beds.

1075
01:06:18,121 --> 01:06:20,221
Yeah, well,
I made the reservation

1076
01:06:20,223 --> 01:06:22,056
for two rooms.
So, two rooms.

1077
01:06:22,058 --> 01:06:24,391
How much for two rooms?

1078
01:06:24,393 --> 01:06:26,329
Our rooms rates start at $650.

1079
01:06:26,331 --> 01:06:27,597
Oh, okay, fine.

1080
01:06:27,599 --> 01:06:30,066
- Well, then, uh, one room.
- Okay.

1081
01:06:30,068 --> 01:06:31,300
But unfortunately,
Mr. Edwards,

1082
01:06:31,302 --> 01:06:33,401
we are fully committed
at this time.

1083
01:06:33,403 --> 01:06:35,972
Interesting. When they say
they're fully committed,

1084
01:06:35,974 --> 01:06:38,074
it's always bullshit.

1085
01:06:38,076 --> 01:06:39,275
Clint Eastwood walked in,

1086
01:06:39,277 --> 01:06:41,178
you think
they'd turn him away.

1087
01:06:41,180 --> 01:06:43,647
Hell, no.
Now, you find me a room.

1088
01:06:43,649 --> 01:06:45,652
Please. And thank you.

1089
01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:48,317
Perhaps I should get
my manager.

1090
01:06:48,319 --> 01:06:50,523
- Perhaps you should.
- I'll be right back.

1091
01:06:51,958 --> 01:06:53,358
Oh, what are you doing?

1092
01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:55,626
You're gonna get us
kicked out of this hotel.

1093
01:06:55,628 --> 01:06:58,162
Mr. Edwards, I'm terribly
sorry for this mix-up.

1094
01:06:58,164 --> 01:07:00,365
I'm Gary, the Night Manager,
here at the Knoxville Grand.

1095
01:07:00,367 --> 01:07:01,765
I don't know
how your reservation

1096
01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:03,169
got lost in the shuffle,

1097
01:07:03,171 --> 01:07:05,971
but we'd be happy to remedy
that situation right now.

1098
01:07:05,973 --> 01:07:07,640
Oh, thank you, Gary.

1099
01:07:07,642 --> 01:07:09,274
All of our rooms
are fully booked.

1100
01:07:09,276 --> 01:07:12,277
However, we do have
the penthouse suite available.

1101
01:07:12,279 --> 01:07:14,613
I would be happy to give you
that room tonight

1102
01:07:14,615 --> 01:07:15,981
for the cost
of the standard room.

1103
01:07:15,983 --> 01:07:18,385
That's very nice.
Thanks, Gary.

1104
01:07:18,387 --> 01:07:20,287
Let me
get that key for you.

1105
01:07:20,289 --> 01:07:22,889
Welcome back to the
Knoxville Grand, Mr. Edwards.

1106
01:07:22,891 --> 01:07:24,224
God bless you. Thank you.

1107
01:07:24,226 --> 01:07:25,291
Thank you, Gary.

1108
01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:27,461
- You're welcome.
- All right. Let's go, Vic.

1109
01:07:27,463 --> 01:07:29,863
- You ready, kid?
- Oh, I'm ready.

1110
01:07:29,865 --> 01:07:32,232
All right, Mr. Edwards.

1111
01:07:32,234 --> 01:07:33,803
He didn't have a reservation.

1112
01:07:34,736 --> 01:07:36,303
Oh, I know.

1113
01:07:36,305 --> 01:07:37,872
Then what's with
the ass-kissing routine?

1114
01:07:37,874 --> 01:07:39,474
Who's Vic Edwards?

1115
01:07:41,212 --> 01:07:42,547
He's a living legend.

1116
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,020
Oh, my God.

1117
01:07:53,158 --> 01:07:55,390
This thing is bigger
than the house I grew up in.

1118
01:07:55,392 --> 01:07:59,028
- Yeah. You like?
- Ah! Do I like it?

1119
01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:00,232
Mmm-hmm.

1120
01:08:00,664 --> 01:08:01,998
Oh, my God,
and this bathtub

1121
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,333
is even bigger than my car.

1122
01:08:03,335 --> 01:08:05,069
Oh, well. That's big, I guess.

1123
01:08:06,239 --> 01:08:08,072
Oh, my God.
They have a bidet.

1124
01:08:08,074 --> 01:08:10,340
I thought they only had
that crap in, like Tokyo.

1125
01:08:10,342 --> 01:08:11,442
What?

1126
01:08:11,444 --> 01:08:12,875
I just figured out
what that was

1127
01:08:12,877 --> 01:08:15,946
'cause at first, I thought,
it was just a guys' bathroom.

1128
01:08:15,948 --> 01:08:18,283
I can't believe
these bedrooms. God.

1129
01:08:18,285 --> 01:08:19,950
I call dibs on this room!

1130
01:08:19,952 --> 01:08:21,619
I can't believe we're here.

1131
01:08:21,621 --> 01:08:24,558
Oh, my God. I have to go
look at this closet.

1132
01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:28,861
Oh, my God. Ha!

1133
01:08:28,863 --> 01:08:30,061
I can't believe
you used to stay

1134
01:08:30,063 --> 01:08:31,864
in these places all the time.

1135
01:08:31,866 --> 01:08:33,566
Oh.

1136
01:08:33,568 --> 01:08:35,368
Doug is going to freak out.

1137
01:08:35,370 --> 01:08:37,436
We have to Instagram
the hell out of this.

1138
01:08:57,427 --> 01:08:59,263
- Whoa.
- Oh!

1139
01:09:08,406 --> 01:09:10,308
What the hell is that?

1140
01:09:14,011 --> 01:09:17,480
That was amazing. I've never
had room service before.

1141
01:09:17,482 --> 01:09:21,153
Oh, that's one of the perks
I miss the most.

1142
01:09:21,585 --> 01:09:24,823
Fancy hotel rooms
and room service.

1143
01:09:31,331 --> 01:09:33,300
- Vic the Dick.
- Yep.

1144
01:09:34,466 --> 01:09:36,834
You're lucky
I'm in a good mood.

1145
01:09:36,836 --> 01:09:39,270
This is you
in a good mood?

1146
01:09:39,272 --> 01:09:40,975
I'd hate to see you
in a bad mood.

1147
01:09:41,507 --> 01:09:43,341
What do you do with your art?

1148
01:09:43,343 --> 01:09:47,379
Besides draw festival logos
and insult people.

1149
01:09:47,381 --> 01:09:48,783
Nothing, really.

1150
01:09:49,550 --> 01:09:51,484
Why don't you have a showing?

1151
01:09:51,486 --> 01:09:53,019
Try and sell something.

1152
01:09:53,021 --> 01:09:54,854
I can't just roll up
my sleeves

1153
01:09:54,856 --> 01:09:56,521
and throw an art show.

1154
01:09:56,523 --> 01:09:58,157
Use the bar.

1155
01:09:58,159 --> 01:09:59,958
If it's good enough
for a film festival,

1156
01:09:59,960 --> 01:10:01,627
it's good enough
for an art show.

1157
01:10:01,629 --> 01:10:04,364
- I get embarrassed.
- Mmm-hmm.

1158
01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:07,633
Doug loves to be the center
of attention. And I don't.

1159
01:10:07,635 --> 01:10:09,002
Gives me anxiety.

1160
01:10:09,004 --> 01:10:11,538
Nothing wrong with being
the center of attention.

1161
01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:15,313
I'd rather be famous and broke
than be rich and nobody.

1162
01:10:15,845 --> 01:10:17,978
Instead, I'm broke and nobody.

1163
01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:20,749
That's the worst combination.

1164
01:10:20,751 --> 01:10:22,750
Why can't you
just live in the present

1165
01:10:22,752 --> 01:10:25,253
and stop looking
in the rearview mirror?

1166
01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:28,758
All I ever hear from you is
"I was rich," "I was famous,"

1167
01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:32,827
I was this, I was that.
How about "You are"?

1168
01:10:32,829 --> 01:10:34,330
It's easier said than done,

1169
01:10:34,332 --> 01:10:36,698
especially when your brother's
little film festival

1170
01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:40,403
shines such a spotlight
on where I was

1171
01:10:40,405 --> 01:10:43,008
compared to how far
down I've come.

1172
01:10:43,609 --> 01:10:46,379
It's not Doug's fault
that you're not happy.

1173
01:10:46,911 --> 01:10:48,714
Okay, Dr. Freud.

1174
01:10:49,915 --> 01:10:53,050
I'll work on me
and you'll work on you.

1175
01:10:53,052 --> 01:10:54,420
Deal?

1176
01:10:56,423 --> 01:10:57,523
Deal.

1177
01:13:15,239 --> 01:13:17,607
- Vic!
- What?

1178
01:13:17,609 --> 01:13:19,608
- We have to leave.
- Why?

1179
01:13:19,610 --> 01:13:20,742
<i>All right.
These are the pictures</i>

1180
01:13:20,744 --> 01:13:22,711
<i>I just posted of you and me.</i>

1181
01:13:22,713 --> 01:13:25,281
And Shane likes some.
A bunch of people like some.

1182
01:13:25,283 --> 01:13:27,784
Then I saw that
Bjorn likes some.

1183
01:13:27,786 --> 01:13:30,220
And he doesn't have time
to call me back all day.

1184
01:13:30,222 --> 01:13:32,523
Yet he had time
to check Instagram.

1185
01:13:32,525 --> 01:13:33,890
I don't understand this.

1186
01:13:33,892 --> 01:13:35,725
- Will you listen?
- Yes.

1187
01:13:35,727 --> 01:13:38,596
So then, I noticed
that one of Bjorn's likes

1188
01:13:38,598 --> 01:13:40,934
was also liked
by Zoey Campbell.

1189
01:13:41,468 --> 01:13:43,702
Okay. Who's Zoey Campbell?

1190
01:13:43,704 --> 01:13:46,605
She's the bitch who's been
trying to steal my boyfriend.

1191
01:13:46,607 --> 01:13:49,406
The one Bjorn says
they're just friends, right?

1192
01:13:49,408 --> 01:13:51,811
So then,
I look at her Instagram

1193
01:13:51,813 --> 01:13:55,050
and see that she just happened
to post a selfie an hour ago.

1194
01:13:56,717 --> 01:13:58,750
You're way
cuter than her.

1195
01:13:58,752 --> 01:14:00,322
You got nothing
to worry about.

1196
01:14:01,288 --> 01:14:05,424
That picture
was taken in my bed.

1197
01:14:05,426 --> 01:14:07,829
I put that bottle there
this morning.

1198
01:14:24,780 --> 01:14:26,015
Will you wait?

1199
01:14:26,017 --> 01:14:27,815
Don't give him
the satisfaction.

1200
01:14:27,817 --> 01:14:30,519
Satisfaction?
I am going to kill him

1201
01:14:30,521 --> 01:14:32,020
and then
I'm going to kill her.

1202
01:14:32,022 --> 01:14:33,822
Hey! Damn it. Hey!

1203
01:14:33,824 --> 01:14:36,324
This is the last time.
I'm never going to...

1204
01:14:43,702 --> 01:14:47,036
Oh, God.

1205
01:14:47,038 --> 01:14:48,273
Oh.

1206
01:14:50,609 --> 01:14:52,677
Vic, are you all right?

1207
01:14:52,679 --> 01:14:55,879
Yeah, I'm fine.
I just got to catch my breath.

1208
01:14:55,881 --> 01:15:00,116
Oh, shit. Sorry. Uh...
Oh, you look really pale.

1209
01:15:00,118 --> 01:15:02,953
I've looked pale
for the past 30 years.

1210
01:15:02,955 --> 01:15:06,191
Okay, no jokes. Do you think
you're having a heart attack?

1211
01:15:06,193 --> 01:15:08,059
No, maybe I...

1212
01:15:08,061 --> 01:15:09,795
I've had this before.

1213
01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:12,130
Well, do you think we should
call an ambulance

1214
01:15:12,132 --> 01:15:14,533
- just to be on the safe side?
- Don't be crazy.

1215
01:15:14,535 --> 01:15:16,402
I just need a minute.

1216
01:15:16,404 --> 01:15:18,570
Do you want some water?
You know what? Screw it.

1217
01:15:18,572 --> 01:15:19,838
I'm gonna go get you
some water. Okay?

1218
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,744
Stay right here. All right?

1219
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:24,679
Oh, God.

1220
01:15:35,657 --> 01:15:38,660
Oh, my God.
You're Vic Edwards.

1221
01:15:38,662 --> 01:15:42,163
Gary, look.
This is Vic Edwards.

1222
01:15:45,668 --> 01:15:47,201
Big fan of yours.
Not just in the movies,

1223
01:15:47,203 --> 01:15:49,707
as a football player.
You were awesome.

1224
01:15:50,874 --> 01:15:53,541
- <i>...River.</i>
- <i>The FBI.</i>

1225
01:15:57,047 --> 01:15:58,684
We're both big fans...

1226
01:16:08,893 --> 01:16:10,696
Whoa! Excuse me!

1227
01:16:12,798 --> 01:16:14,565
Hi. Excuse me.
I really need water,

1228
01:16:14,567 --> 01:16:16,566
please, right now. Thank you.

1229
01:16:16,568 --> 01:16:18,935
Why? What're you doing
with the old guy?

1230
01:16:18,937 --> 01:16:20,437
Baby, let me get you
a real drink.

1231
01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,806
An appletini for my
future ex-wife.

1232
01:16:27,881 --> 01:16:30,048
Oh. Oh, no. Excuse me.

1233
01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:32,785
Excuse me. Hi. Have you seen
an old man right here?

1234
01:16:32,787 --> 01:16:35,419
He was sitting
in that chair. No?

1235
01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:36,758
No.

1236
01:16:39,594 --> 01:16:41,727
Excuse me.
Uh, have you seen Mr. Edwards?

1237
01:16:41,729 --> 01:16:44,097
He was just sitting on
the couch just a second ago.

1238
01:16:44,099 --> 01:16:45,397
No, I haven't seen
Mr. Edwards.

1239
01:16:45,399 --> 01:16:46,833
How are you
enjoying your suite?

1240
01:16:46,835 --> 01:16:48,804
It's wonderful, thanks.

1241
01:16:49,806 --> 01:16:51,237
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

1242
01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:53,743
<i>an unexpected surprise.
Mr. Vic Edwards.</i>

1243
01:16:57,847 --> 01:16:59,349
Thank you.

1244
01:17:00,982 --> 01:17:03,018
<i>Thank you very much.</i>

1245
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:14,866
<i>♪ Cuddle up a little closer ♪</i>

1246
01:17:17,768 --> 01:17:20,371
<i>♪ Oh, lovely mine ♪</i>

1247
01:17:22,974 --> 01:17:28,148
<i>♪ Cuddle up and be my little ♪</i>

1248
01:17:31,382 --> 01:17:33,051
<i>♪ Clinging vine ♪</i>

1249
01:17:35,119 --> 01:17:41,162
<i>♪ Like to feel
your cheeks so rosy ♪</i>

1250
01:17:42,361 --> 01:17:47,501
<i>♪ Like to make you comfy cozy ♪</i>

1251
01:17:49,034 --> 01:17:55,476
<i>♪ Cuz I love you
from head to toesy ♪</i>

1252
01:17:55,977 --> 01:18:00,382
<i>♪ Lovely mine ♪</i>

1253
01:18:02,884 --> 01:18:04,885
Can you imagine?
The Vic Edwards.

1254
01:18:04,887 --> 01:18:06,822
- At your daughter's wedding.
- Absolutely.

1255
01:18:07,755 --> 01:18:10,226
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

1256
01:18:16,064 --> 01:18:18,999
Thank you.
It's an unexpected honor

1257
01:18:19,001 --> 01:18:20,935
and treat to be able to sing

1258
01:18:20,937 --> 01:18:22,703
one of my favorite songs

1259
01:18:22,705 --> 01:18:26,845
to the new
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Delson.

1260
01:18:32,048 --> 01:18:33,217
What do you do, sir?

1261
01:18:34,018 --> 01:18:35,616
I'm a doctor.

1262
01:18:35,618 --> 01:18:37,386
Impressive. What kind?

1263
01:18:37,388 --> 01:18:39,757
A colorectal surgeon.

1264
01:18:40,190 --> 01:18:43,526
Hmm. You know, Mrs. Delson,

1265
01:18:43,528 --> 01:18:44,961
you have
literally just married

1266
01:18:44,963 --> 01:18:46,194
a pain in the ass.

1267
01:18:49,434 --> 01:18:52,873
<i>Well, good luck to you
and mazel tov.</i>

1268
01:19:05,986 --> 01:19:08,887
How did you know
Bjorn was such an asshole?

1269
01:19:08,889 --> 01:19:10,821
You pegged him on sight.

1270
01:19:10,823 --> 01:19:12,423
Well, it takes one
to know one.

1271
01:19:12,425 --> 01:19:13,659
Yeah, yeah.

1272
01:19:13,661 --> 01:19:15,327
Do yourself a favor.

1273
01:19:15,329 --> 01:19:17,797
Steer clear of the bad boys
from now on.

1274
01:19:17,799 --> 01:19:20,335
You can't fix us,
you can't tame us.

1275
01:19:22,002 --> 01:19:24,169
- Okay, bad boy.
- Okay.

1276
01:19:26,342 --> 01:19:29,812
What about that kid, Shane?
He obviously likes you.

1277
01:19:30,445 --> 01:19:34,117
Wow, you pay closer attention
than I thought.

1278
01:19:34,984 --> 01:19:37,149
Shane's been in love with me
since fifth grade.

1279
01:19:37,151 --> 01:19:39,820
Well, then go out with him.

1280
01:19:39,822 --> 01:19:41,488
Try out a guy
who really loves you.

1281
01:19:41,490 --> 01:19:43,091
You might like it.

1282
01:19:43,093 --> 01:19:45,659
Yeah, okay,
Mr. Divorced Five Times.

1283
01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:48,028
How much do you really
even know about love?

1284
01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:51,502
Were you ever even in love
with anyone but yourself?

1285
01:19:52,803 --> 01:19:57,439
Ha-ha. I've been in love
about a thousand times.

1286
01:19:57,441 --> 01:19:59,044
But real love?

1287
01:19:59,710 --> 01:20:00,946
Just once.

1288
01:20:04,549 --> 01:20:05,952
Just once.

1289
01:20:17,363 --> 01:20:21,334
It was fun while
it lasted, wasn't it, Vic?

1290
01:20:21,900 --> 01:20:24,203
We had some great times,
you and me.

1291
01:20:26,073 --> 01:20:28,072
You got to do things
and see things

1292
01:20:28,074 --> 01:20:29,743
that most people dream about.

1293
01:20:30,811 --> 01:20:34,248
- Oh, yeah.
- Where'd it all go, man?

1294
01:20:35,048 --> 01:20:37,081
And what does any of it mean?

1295
01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:40,888
After all these years,
I still can't figure it out.

1296
01:20:41,522 --> 01:20:42,824
What the game is about.

1297
01:20:43,157 --> 01:20:46,758
Survival. Who has
the ability to survive.

1298
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,998
- That's the game.
- Yeah.

1299
01:20:51,032 --> 01:20:54,236
Well, I'm surviving. Barely.

1300
01:20:54,937 --> 01:20:56,506
I took it all for granted.

1301
01:20:57,206 --> 01:20:59,075
I thought
I had it figured out.

1302
01:21:00,776 --> 01:21:02,343
I look in the mirror now

1303
01:21:02,345 --> 01:21:04,879
and I have no idea
who that person is,

1304
01:21:04,881 --> 01:21:06,217
staring back at me.

1305
01:21:13,858 --> 01:21:15,060
Damn.

1306
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:18,697
You're good-looking.

1307
01:21:20,364 --> 01:21:22,701
You know,
time is like this river.

1308
01:21:23,900 --> 01:21:25,902
No matter what you do
or don't do,

1309
01:21:25,904 --> 01:21:28,371
no matter how much you think
you can beat it,

1310
01:21:28,373 --> 01:21:31,044
it just keeps rushing by.

1311
01:21:31,576 --> 01:21:33,310
You don't beat it.

1312
01:21:33,312 --> 01:21:34,914
You don't beat this river.

1313
01:21:36,214 --> 01:21:37,817
No, you don't.

1314
01:22:00,507 --> 01:22:02,509
<i>Hey, Lil. You know who it is.</i>

1315
01:22:02,511 --> 01:22:04,643
<i>Been kind of trying
to call you all night.</i>

1316
01:22:04,645 --> 01:22:06,912
<i>Uh, just kind of wondering
where you are.</i>

1317
01:22:06,914 --> 01:22:09,948
<i>You're still at that hotel
with that creepazoid old man.</i>

1318
01:22:09,950 --> 01:22:12,288
<i>Anyway, call me back. Bye.</i>

1319
01:22:23,165 --> 01:22:24,864
Vic, you are so right.

1320
01:22:24,866 --> 01:22:26,534
The more I ignore
douchebag's calls,

1321
01:22:26,536 --> 01:22:28,438
the crazier it's making him.

1322
01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:31,843
Vic?

1323
01:22:32,276 --> 01:22:33,510
Vic?

1324
01:22:59,037 --> 01:23:01,307
Vic? Are you okay?

1325
01:23:03,909 --> 01:23:07,213
I've watched everyone
I ever cared about die.

1326
01:23:09,481 --> 01:23:12,218
One by one, they seem to just

1327
01:23:13,588 --> 01:23:15,357
disappear on me.

1328
01:23:16,324 --> 01:23:19,194
It won't be long
before I disappear, too.

1329
01:23:20,527 --> 01:23:22,263
No, don't say that, Vic.

1330
01:23:23,263 --> 01:23:26,334
You want to know why
I needed to come to Knoxville?

1331
01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:29,539
I needed to say goodbye.

1332
01:23:31,906 --> 01:23:35,010
Goodbye to the town
that made me who I am.

1333
01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:38,545
Goodbye to the trees
I climbed as a kid.

1334
01:23:38,547 --> 01:23:40,414
Goodbye to the school
that taught me

1335
01:23:40,416 --> 01:23:42,186
how to break the rules.

1336
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:46,957
And the streets
I wandered late at night.

1337
01:23:48,558 --> 01:23:52,363
The hiding places
where I left all my secrets.

1338
01:23:54,364 --> 01:23:56,033
The town

1339
01:23:56,766 --> 01:24:00,972
where I made so many,
many mistakes.

1340
01:24:03,374 --> 01:24:08,379
And now it's time
for one last goodbye.

1341
01:24:42,783 --> 01:24:44,650
Okay, Mrs. Schulman.

1342
01:24:44,652 --> 01:24:48,155
You have a very
nice visitor today.

1343
01:24:48,488 --> 01:24:49,822
Mr. Edwards has
come all the way

1344
01:24:49,824 --> 01:24:51,827
from Los Angeles, California.

1345
01:24:55,931 --> 01:24:57,930
Now, the Alzheimer's
may have progressed

1346
01:24:57,932 --> 01:25:00,032
a little bit further
than you're prepared for,

1347
01:25:00,034 --> 01:25:01,769
but she's still
a very sweet lady.

1348
01:25:01,771 --> 01:25:03,641
Isn't that right,
Mrs. Schulman?

1349
01:25:04,941 --> 01:25:06,373
All right, I'm gonna
leave you to visit.

1350
01:25:06,375 --> 01:25:07,444
Okay.

1351
01:25:15,820 --> 01:25:17,121
How's the food here?

1352
01:25:25,831 --> 01:25:27,400
Look at us.

1353
01:25:30,368 --> 01:25:31,469
Old fogeys.

1354
01:25:36,876 --> 01:25:39,246
But you still look beautiful.

1355
01:25:40,645 --> 01:25:44,150
You still look as beautiful
as the day I met you.

1356
01:25:46,651 --> 01:25:49,324
We have a lot
of good memories.

1357
01:25:51,859 --> 01:25:53,527
For what it's worth,

1358
01:25:54,026 --> 01:25:56,530
I never loved
anybody else like you.

1359
01:25:58,499 --> 01:26:00,702
Ours was the special one.

1360
01:26:02,403 --> 01:26:04,102
The first one.

1361
01:26:04,104 --> 01:26:05,840
The real one.

1362
01:26:06,407 --> 01:26:09,111
I came here
to apologize, Claudia.

1363
01:26:11,211 --> 01:26:12,744
I just dealt you...

1364
01:26:15,251 --> 01:26:16,753
...a lousy hand.

1365
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:21,256
I was a stupid, jackass kid.

1366
01:26:21,890 --> 01:26:24,925
All swept up in a crazy dream.

1367
01:26:24,927 --> 01:26:27,296
And I just
left you and Gracie.

1368
01:26:30,367 --> 01:26:32,302
I just left.

1369
01:26:33,636 --> 01:26:35,271
I screwed it all up.

1370
01:26:36,472 --> 01:26:39,974
If I could go back and
do it again, I would, baby.

1371
01:26:39,976 --> 01:26:41,912
I'd do it differently.

1372
01:26:43,914 --> 01:26:47,148
You were the one that loved me
before anybody else

1373
01:26:47,150 --> 01:26:48,486
even knew my name.

1374
01:26:49,554 --> 01:26:51,758
And I treated you like shit.

1375
01:26:54,593 --> 01:26:56,993
I got caught up
in all the wrong things

1376
01:26:56,995 --> 01:26:59,429
with all the wrong people.

1377
01:26:59,431 --> 01:27:01,300
I thought I knew it all.

1378
01:27:02,134 --> 01:27:05,505
I thought I had so much time
to make it up.

1379
01:27:05,972 --> 01:27:08,772
I thought I could
just snap my fingers

1380
01:27:08,774 --> 01:27:10,309
and make things right.

1381
01:27:10,742 --> 01:27:12,513
And when Gracie

1382
01:27:14,482 --> 01:27:15,750
killed herself...

1383
01:27:19,487 --> 01:27:21,523
That was all my fault, too.

1384
01:27:25,159 --> 01:27:27,028
It's all my fault.

1385
01:27:42,210 --> 01:27:43,480
It is.

1386
01:27:46,516 --> 01:27:48,185
Oh, darling.

1387
01:28:05,202 --> 01:28:08,306
Excuse me. Do I know you?

1388
01:28:19,417 --> 01:28:21,585
<i>You really want
to leave me here alone?</i>

1389
01:28:21,587 --> 01:28:22,753
<i>Well, I really want some food.</i>

1390
01:28:22,755 --> 01:28:23,887
<i>Well...</i>

1391
01:28:23,889 --> 01:28:26,427
<i>I know I shouldn't
stop you, but I...</i>

1392
01:28:27,360 --> 01:28:30,728
- <i>I feel safe with you around.</i>
- <i>You do?</i>

1393
01:28:30,730 --> 01:28:31,895
<i>Well, I am safe, ain't I?</i>

1394
01:28:31,897 --> 01:28:34,502
<i>Well, Justice will be back
in a minute.</i>

1395
01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:36,702
<i>Justice ain't you.</i>

1396
01:28:55,890 --> 01:28:59,726
Okay, that concludes
our Vic Edwards Film Festival.

1397
01:28:59,728 --> 01:29:03,630
We are now gonna give out
our Lifetime Achievement Award

1398
01:29:03,632 --> 01:29:06,269
to the great Vic Edwards
in absentia.

1399
01:29:14,211 --> 01:29:16,545
I'm sure if Vic were here,

1400
01:29:16,547 --> 01:29:18,613
he would want to
thank all the fans.

1401
01:29:18,615 --> 01:29:19,816
Don't put words
in my mouth.

1402
01:29:20,818 --> 01:29:24,389
For crying out loud.
Good Lord, man.

1403
01:29:25,056 --> 01:29:26,456
Oh, my... Vic...

1404
01:29:26,458 --> 01:29:27,623
Get me a chair.

1405
01:29:27,625 --> 01:29:28,992
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Right away.

1406
01:29:44,442 --> 01:29:47,146
Unfortunately, until today,

1407
01:29:48,681 --> 01:29:52,017
the last time
I apologized for anything

1408
01:29:52,019 --> 01:29:53,785
was in 1977.

1409
01:29:53,787 --> 01:29:57,592
I punched out a director
on the set of <i>Horse Power.</i>

1410
01:29:59,459 --> 01:30:02,197
Well...

1411
01:30:03,831 --> 01:30:05,199
I'm sorry.

1412
01:30:05,699 --> 01:30:07,868
I'm sorry for being
such an asshole.

1413
01:30:09,537 --> 01:30:12,007
Leaving the way I did.

1414
01:30:12,841 --> 01:30:16,678
I thought I was too good
for this little film festival,

1415
01:30:18,047 --> 01:30:19,716
but as it turns out,

1416
01:30:21,382 --> 01:30:23,185
it's too good
for the likes of me.

1417
01:30:25,855 --> 01:30:28,558
Winning this
Lifetime Achievement Award

1418
01:30:29,392 --> 01:30:32,627
has forced me to examine
an important question

1419
01:30:32,629 --> 01:30:35,699
that I've avoided
as long as possible.

1420
01:30:37,701 --> 01:30:40,704
What have I really achieved
in this lifetime?

1421
01:30:43,741 --> 01:30:45,542
<i>Most of the movies I've made,</i>

1422
01:30:45,910 --> 01:30:49,044
<i>everybody knows the way
they're gonna end.</i>

1423
01:30:49,046 --> 01:30:51,347
<i>Right from the first scene.</i>

1424
01:30:54,853 --> 01:30:57,053
<i>Life's kind of like that.</i>

1425
01:30:57,055 --> 01:30:59,759
- <i>Everybody knows how it ends.</i>
- Back away!

1426
01:31:02,427 --> 01:31:04,864
But it's the scenes
in the middle

1427
01:31:07,333 --> 01:31:09,236
that make it count.

1428
01:31:10,435 --> 01:31:14,573
<i>The great producer
Joseph E. Levine once told me,</i>

1429
01:31:14,575 --> 01:31:17,879
<i>"An audience will forgive
a shitty act two,</i>

1430
01:31:19,112 --> 01:31:22,883
"if you can wow them
in act three."

1431
01:31:24,017 --> 01:31:25,521
Well...

1432
01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:29,424
<i>I had a hell of an act one.</i>

1433
01:31:30,224 --> 01:31:32,190
<i>Pretty shitty act two.</i>

1434
01:31:32,192 --> 01:31:34,963
<i>And I screwed up
most of act three.</i>

1435
01:31:36,464 --> 01:31:38,234
<i>I made certain of that.</i>

1436
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:40,901
But thanks to you

1437
01:31:40,903 --> 01:31:45,975
and thanks to Doug and Shane
and Stuart and Faith.

1438
01:31:47,809 --> 01:31:50,046
And especially Lil.

1439
01:31:55,886 --> 01:31:57,922
<i>And everybody here.</i>

1440
01:31:58,989 --> 01:32:01,791
<i>You've helped me to see that</i>

1441
01:32:01,793 --> 01:32:05,097
<i>maybe it's not too late
for my Hollywood ending.</i>

1442
01:32:30,290 --> 01:32:32,826
And so,
with humility and pride

1443
01:32:35,094 --> 01:32:37,795
and deep appreciation

1444
01:32:37,797 --> 01:32:40,833
that I, Martin Joel Schulman,

1445
01:32:40,835 --> 01:32:42,369
proud son of Tennessee,

1446
01:32:44,204 --> 01:32:47,975
humbly accept this Lifetime,

1447
01:32:48,976 --> 01:32:50,345
so far,

1448
01:32:52,681 --> 01:32:54,350
Achievement Award.

1449
01:32:57,017 --> 01:33:00,055
And I'm gonna make damn sure
that the rest of my life

1450
01:33:01,790 --> 01:33:03,959
lives up to the honor of this.

1451
01:33:05,026 --> 01:33:06,295
Thank you.

1452
01:33:25,483 --> 01:33:27,085
Thank you, Doug.

1453
01:33:31,989 --> 01:33:34,423
I can't believe you just spent
the whole weekend

1454
01:33:34,425 --> 01:33:36,425
in Knoxville with Vic Edwards.

1455
01:33:36,427 --> 01:33:38,394
Did he talk about
<i>Murder Can Kill You?</i>

1456
01:33:38,396 --> 01:33:39,865
Did he tell you any stories?

1457
01:33:52,078 --> 01:33:53,614
Thank you.

1458
01:34:02,956 --> 01:34:05,026
- Hmm.
- Bye, Marty.

1459
01:34:05,793 --> 01:34:06,961
Hmm.

1460
01:34:50,976 --> 01:34:53,478
Uh, Lil? Where do you
want this one?

1461
01:34:55,446 --> 01:34:57,012
There.

1462
01:34:57,014 --> 01:34:58,116
Yeah.

1463
01:34:59,116 --> 01:35:00,084
<i>I told you so.</i>

1464
01:35:00,652 --> 01:35:02,119
I know you did.

1465
01:35:02,121 --> 01:35:03,520
And you were right.

1466
01:35:03,522 --> 01:35:06,155
A Lifetime Achievement.
How can I get one of those?

1467
01:35:06,157 --> 01:35:08,092
- Can I rent it?
- I told them

1468
01:35:08,094 --> 01:35:11,128
about you
and they seemed interested.

1469
01:35:11,130 --> 01:35:12,496
Oh, stop it.

1470
01:35:49,233 --> 01:35:53,341
Subtitles by explosiveskull