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片名：阿公歐買尬

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我就說，若對方律師不同意

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飼料油可以當食用油

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依據胃硬衝條款

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法官大人，那就請您撤回

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摳死口的滅頂行動

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笑死我了    -是啊

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失陪一下，我馬上回來

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「摳死口的滅頂行動」，太逗了

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怎麼啦，尼克？

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奶奶真他媽的可憐

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是啊

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她就這樣被謀殺了

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她是得了癌症

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真相沒人知道

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我們當然知道

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奶奶罹癌十年了

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癌症不會死人好嗎

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冷靜點    -來世再見，奶奶

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哩咧衝啥？你是腦殘喔？

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你克制一點

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我爸和我未婚妻在旁邊

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碧昂絲來了？    -三小？

24
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那是什麼？

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林老師咧    -我只是…

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你他媽嗑藥？    -沒有

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沒你個頭啦！    -這是電子菸

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加了點大麻，但還是電子菸

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成熟點，這像話嗎？

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成熟點？你是有多成熟？

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你開車會聽中廣？

32
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你會去公園打槌球？

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不會

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你和別的情侶玩數獨又品酒？

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傑森

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我剛朝你奶奶臉上呼麻

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可憐的爺爺

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我們先唸申命記第三十章第十九節

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「我今日呼天喚地向你作見證」

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「我將生死禍福陳明在你面前」

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寶貝

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我找到適合週日婚禮彩排的領帶

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喜歡珊瑚色還是鮭魚色？

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隨便

45
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寶貝，怎麼了？

46
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珊瑚色還是鮭魚色？

47
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你喜歡哪個？    -我喜歡珊瑚色

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我也這樣覺得

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太好了    -好

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就珊瑚色吧

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那是你的大日子

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「你要揀選生命」

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「使你和你的後裔都得存活」

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總之，我現在住瓦多斯塔

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我他媽開了間寵物店

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喔不，繁殖場    -繁殖場

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很多人靠北配種犬

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不過價格賣得夭壽貴    -是喔？

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可是牠們很難「搞」

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因為小狗不想幹大狗

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大狗又不想幹小狗

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所以我都用純手工，掰開來射進去

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你最近怎樣？

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我最近蠻忙…

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酷

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戴安阿姨，你好嗎？    -嗨

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你好，尼克

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我不懂為何你明天要去佛羅里達

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爸，喪禮才剛結束而已

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你奶奶和我每年這時都會去

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這是她的習慣

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要不是駕照被吊銷，我就自己去了

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為何非要傑森載你去？

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他的工作很忙

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還要彩排婚禮

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全事務所的人都會去

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是真的，爺爺    -傑森

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我們忙翻了，梅芮迪絲和我…

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請說

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那尼克堂弟呢，爸？

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讓他載你吧？

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我店裡有隻褐色拉不拉多，超色的

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我一碰牠耳朵就射精

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是喔    -好像噴泉一樣

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是你的狗嗎？

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法院不准尼克離開喬治亞州

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他高中後我就很少見了

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陪我一下不行嗎？

89
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現在家人又突然變重要了？

90
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這樣吧，他明早來吃個早餐

91
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接著我們開車去博卡

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打個兩場小白球

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然後他隔天回亞特蘭大

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他不能兩天不在

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這個CP值太差了

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你當然可以去忙你的婚禮

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這只是她的遺願而已嘛，別擔心

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真不懂他幹嘛找你開車

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你們又沒那麼親

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我們以前很親

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小時候爺爺常陪我玩

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每年耶誕一起做火車模型

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所以我才想送他…

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隨便啦，只是時間會很趕

105
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週五就是彩排午宴了！

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我知道

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還有，幻燈片要用的照片不見了

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我都快閃尿了

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因為存在我的筆電裡，都在這

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我會傳給婚秘的

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你完全不用擔心    -謝謝

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你爸說走75號公路，走16號很慢

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我知道，路線他都規劃好了

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可以跟我換車嗎？

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我要開我的大車去載酒

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爺爺？

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爺爺？

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爺爺？

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喔，歡迎光臨

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等我一下

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喔！哇靠！

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準備好出門了嗎？    -歹勢，爺爺

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我沒想到你會在「那個」

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不過就三號而已，又沒什麼

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三號？

126
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來一杯

127
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不行，我要開車

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先等我運動完

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我們走16號接95號

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爸說應該走75號接95號比較順

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你爸懂屁啊

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爺爺，你真的沒事嗎？

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對了，多謝你來幫我

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監理處那些機八毛吊銷我的駕照

135
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因為我有白內障

136
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,428
但我高爾夫球還是屌打老虎伍姿

137
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我下午訂了佛羅里達的球場

138
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你可以用奶奶的女用球竿

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就在大門旁

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好的

141
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準備好了嗎？

142
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不是要先吃早餐嗎？

143
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那杯就是早餐

144
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快點進去你那台小粉紅

145
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他媽的閃人了

146
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開車拿酒不好吧，爺爺？

147
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免煩惱啦

148
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酒倒了小粉紅也不會變大黃蜂

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我回個信給胃硬衝

150
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你現在在你爸的事務所上班？

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對，梅芮迪絲也是

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他爸是合夥人之一，所以…

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我知道

154
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真是門當戶對

155
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你高中時跟我說很想當攝影師

156
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想去環遊世界之類的

157
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,562
還記得我幫你訂時代雜誌嗎？

158
00:11:14,103 --> 00:11:15,637
記得，我以前很愛攝影

159
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但因為爸在律師事務所

160
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所以我就順理成章唸法律系

161
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我愛這份工作，當企業律師很威

162
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我負責胃硬衝的案子

163
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騙肖    -是啊

164
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-黑心油是你搞的？
-還有騙民眾食品很安全

165
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-哇靠，我驚呆了
-幫無良企業脫產啦

166
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你一定是豪洨

167
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當企業律師有不少優點

168
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你知道我寧願幹嘛嗎？

169
00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,200
幹嘛？

170
00:11:45,201 --> 00:11:50,131
讓小甜甜從上飛下來往我嘴裡噴屎

171
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就醬，我要再去買點酒

172
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五分鐘後鮑魚車上集合

173
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帳單你買

174
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我在哪見過他？看起來好面熟

175
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好像GQ的男模

176
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是啊，還GG外露哩

177
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,927
靠，各位，太有趣了

178
00:12:11,928 --> 00:12:15,030
他是我大一的攝影課夥伴

179
00:12:15,031 --> 00:12:18,033
不會吧？他是佛大校友？

180
00:12:18,034 --> 00:12:20,335
莉諾，你剛好可以完成三連霸

181
00:12:20,336 --> 00:12:22,704
拜託咧，已經有校友，記得嗎？

182
00:12:22,705 --> 00:12:25,674
我搞過那個愛哭離婚男東尼    -對

183
00:12:25,675 --> 00:12:26,875
蛋很大那個    -對

184
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,143
而且在流動廁所裡    -對

185
00:12:28,144 --> 00:12:29,511
還貼著門板幹    -對

186
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:30,746
我還缺一個教授

187
00:12:30,747 --> 00:12:33,106
不好意思，什麼是三連霸？

188
00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:35,417
是一篇文章說的

189
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:40,055
就是大四時要幹新生、校友和教授

190
00:12:40,056 --> 00:12:41,223
你在哪看到的？

191
00:12:41,224 --> 00:12:42,513
我的日記裡

192
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:44,960
我寫在裡面

193
00:12:44,961 --> 00:12:47,963
他拍的人像照超美的

194
00:12:47,964 --> 00:12:50,357
-都不用美圖秀秀了
-我讀過你的日記

195
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,202
他很有才華    -靠么，你看過了？

196
00:12:54,203 --> 00:12:55,304
是啊    -你喜歡嗎？

197
00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:57,573
你們根本沒在聽，我要去打招呼了

198
00:12:57,574 --> 00:12:58,214
好嗎？

199
00:12:58,215 --> 00:12:59,668
蕩婦

200
00:13:00,543 --> 00:13:03,004
希望你別吃閉門羹

201
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:06,114
遲到總比不到好囉

202
00:13:06,115 --> 00:13:08,007
跟我的經期一樣

203
00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:09,575
真噁    -怎樣？

204
00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:15,457
嗨，你好嗎？

205
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:18,460
很好，拿去，不必找了

206
00:13:18,461 --> 00:13:21,286
不…我不是…

207
00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:31,873
各位，聽我說

208
00:13:31,874 --> 00:13:33,241
什麼事？    -快點閃了！

209
00:13:33,242 --> 00:13:34,810
賤人，你說什麼？    -快走

210
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,078
幹

211
00:13:38,481 --> 00:13:40,015
要結帳了嗎？

212
00:13:40,016 --> 00:13:43,410
對，錢給另一個服務生了，抱歉

213
00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:45,878
這裡沒別的服務生

214
00:13:45,922 --> 00:13:49,521
一向都只有我一個

215
00:13:49,626 --> 00:13:52,292
媽的！這破車發不動

216
00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:53,456
嘿

217
00:13:54,297 --> 00:13:55,256
嘿

218
00:13:55,665 --> 00:13:59,196
天啊，他好像湯姆克魯濕

219
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稍等一下

220
00:14:01,004 --> 00:14:04,239
抱歉，我下班了，歹勢

221
00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,807
喔，見鬼了    -怎樣？

222
00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:08,310
我認識你

223
00:14:08,311 --> 00:14:09,344
才怪

224
00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:10,946
對，我認識你，我們是攝影班同學

225
00:14:10,947 --> 00:14:13,647
拍風景照那個，對吧？

226
00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:15,673
你是夏蒂雅

227
00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:17,486
對，我是

228
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:19,821
天啊，你是夏蒂雅

229
00:14:19,822 --> 00:14:21,623
對，我是    -夏蒂雅

230
00:14:21,624 --> 00:14:23,992
千年殺    -衝三小！

231
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,528
夏蒂雅在阿拉伯語裡是歌手

232
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:28,126
古阿拉伯語唸做…

233
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:32,734
也代表在河邊呼喚人們

234
00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:33,802
說的很正確

235
00:14:33,803 --> 00:14:35,037
夏蒂雅，這位是…

236
00:14:35,038 --> 00:14:38,330
理查教授，我在喬治亞大學教歷史

237
00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:39,834
你是教授？

238
00:14:39,876 --> 00:14:42,269
對，怎麼了？你想修點學分？

239
00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:45,047
傑森和我在做中東的專題

240
00:14:45,048 --> 00:14:47,441
他是時代雜誌的攝影師

241
00:14:47,717 --> 00:14:51,180
我是在賓果之夜破處的

242
00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:52,754
我叫莉諾

243
00:14:52,755 --> 00:14:57,325
是珍貴又有魅力的天使之名

244
00:14:57,326 --> 00:14:59,457
烏鴉曰「永不復焉」

245
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,164
外交家雪茄？

246
00:15:02,165 --> 00:15:04,695
你很懂雪茄

247
00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:06,535
你是古巴混血嗎？

248
00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:08,804
我是啊，大學教授

249
00:15:12,008 --> 00:15:12,974
專門帶壞學生的

250
00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,576
好吧    -喔，我們該走了

251
00:15:14,577 --> 00:15:15,544
好    -很高興見到你

252
00:15:15,545 --> 00:15:16,845
我們要去德通納海灘玩一週

253
00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:19,414
天啊，我們三小時前就該到了

254
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:21,416
走吧，賤人們

255
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:22,741
哇靠

256
00:15:22,885 --> 00:15:23,919
怎麼了？

257
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,051
沒事，你超玻璃的

258
00:15:26,222 --> 00:15:29,858
是喔？好棒棒，玻璃鑑賞家

259
00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:32,227
而且我還是黑人

260
00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:34,018
我知道，這也很有梗

261
00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:37,298
要不要一起去玩？

262
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,267
炒飯炒翻天？

263
00:15:39,268 --> 00:15:40,802
才不要    -才不要

264
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:41,570
為何？

265
00:15:41,571 --> 00:15:44,806
我們有很重要的球局    -當然啦

266
00:15:44,807 --> 00:15:46,875
打麻將前還要睡個午覺

267
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,043
不對，是推圓盤比賽

268
00:15:48,044 --> 00:15:49,611
四點得先吃晚餐

269
00:15:49,612 --> 00:15:52,013
我們在賭高爾夫球誰厲害

270
00:15:52,014 --> 00:15:54,149
我要拿出我的黑人球桿教訓他

271
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:57,219
快拿那粗粗黑黑的球桿教訓我

272
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,647
哇靠    -肖婆，快上車啦

273
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,115
再見，教授    -謝謝你的午餐

274
00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:04,455
再見啦

275
00:16:06,395 --> 00:16:08,253
汁多味美肉大塊    -是啊

276
00:16:23,412 --> 00:16:24,579
穿得還可以吧？

277
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:27,249
活像個棒棒堂男孩

278
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,650
什麼？    -什麼？

279
00:16:28,651 --> 00:16:30,213
什麼？    -什麼？

280
00:16:30,787 --> 00:16:33,388
跳過第一洞，沒有挑戰性

281
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,790
不行

282
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:35,431
上車

283
00:16:35,432 --> 00:16:36,494
這樣違反規矩，爺爺

284
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,793
操他的規矩，滾上來

285
00:16:37,794 --> 00:16:40,824
而且違反高爾夫禮儀

286
00:16:43,099 --> 00:16:44,766
閃邊去哈棒

287
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:45,600
你們在搞什麼？

288
00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:47,836
我趕著送他去給黑人上

289
00:16:47,837 --> 00:16:50,138
這是衝三小？    -搞什麼鬼啊？

290
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:53,408
哇，我還以為是曾啞妮咧

291
00:16:53,409 --> 00:16:56,812
真抱歉，你們可以先跳下一洞

292
00:16:56,813 --> 00:16:58,847
我們打得很爛

293
00:16:58,848 --> 00:17:00,081
才不會，你超讚der

294
00:17:00,082 --> 00:17:02,317
只是你的膝蓋不夠彎

295
00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,352
我有教練執照，要我示範嗎？

296
00:17:04,353 --> 00:17:06,177
好啊，麻煩你

297
00:17:06,856 --> 00:17:08,523
腰彎一點

298
00:17:08,524 --> 00:17:11,126
這感覺就對了

299
00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:14,089
手放桿子上，是桿子

300
00:17:14,463 --> 00:17:16,164
我把手指放好

301
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:19,628
一、二、三

302
00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:21,803
天啊

303
00:17:21,804 --> 00:17:23,438
看到了嗎？謝謝你

304
00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:25,173
你教高爾夫多久了？

305
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,309
從我沒當太空人之後

306
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:30,943
在地球眼睛可以吃冰淇淋

307
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:34,478
爺爺，可以開球了…

308
00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:35,884
搞什麼鬼？

309
00:17:35,885 --> 00:17:37,786
桿弟，撿回來

310
00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:39,354
他剛叫你爺爺？

311
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:40,522
誰？培皮嗎？

312
00:17:40,523 --> 00:17:42,524
他是智障，病得不輕

313
00:17:42,525 --> 00:17:44,417
他以為我是他爺爺

314
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:47,662
他平常每天都在家畫海豚

315
00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:49,464
我們以前會讓他自己出門

316
00:17:49,465 --> 00:17:52,290
但後來雞姦狂把他…

317
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:55,700
找到了

318
00:17:56,339 --> 00:17:58,173
還要一杯嗎？    -當然

319
00:17:58,174 --> 00:17:59,668
馬上回來

320
00:18:01,677 --> 00:18:04,036
我替我爺爺道歉

321
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:05,247
他最近有點老番顛

322
00:18:05,248 --> 00:18:08,915
我奶奶昨天才剛辦完喪禮

323
00:18:10,052 --> 00:18:12,684
其實我是律師，不是智障

324
00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:15,390
我負責很多大案子

325
00:18:15,391 --> 00:18:17,682
像是幫胃硬衝辯護

326
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:21,386
食安詐欺、無良脫產之類的

327
00:18:22,765 --> 00:18:26,330
好，我們該離開了

328
00:18:26,903 --> 00:18:28,103
很高興認識你，培皮

329
00:18:28,104 --> 00:18:29,268
我也…

330
00:18:31,574 --> 00:18:32,738
幹

331
00:18:35,111 --> 00:18:36,444
怎麼回事？

332
00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:37,946
她們去哪？你剛剛衝啥？

333
00:18:37,947 --> 00:18:41,182
我說了實話，我說我下週要結婚

334
00:18:41,183 --> 00:18:42,550
還有你現在有點番顛

335
00:18:42,551 --> 00:18:43,919
因為你老婆剛嗝屁

336
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,587
你他媽是搞屁啊？

337
00:18:45,588 --> 00:18:46,922
沒看見她們都很飢渴嗎？

338
00:18:46,923 --> 00:18:48,423
飢渴？    -當然

339
00:18:48,424 --> 00:18:50,892
你沒講錯吧？爺爺，開什麼玩笑

340
00:18:50,893 --> 00:18:52,193
這是我的心聲    -爺爺

341
00:18:52,194 --> 00:18:53,895
奶奶昨天才入土

342
00:18:53,896 --> 00:18:55,597
你馬上就想上大學生

343
00:18:55,598 --> 00:18:58,433
還看A片打手槍？

344
00:18:58,434 --> 00:18:59,334
傑森    -你是怎麼了？

345
00:18:59,335 --> 00:19:01,303
我想打炮    -林阿嬤

346
00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:03,772
我熬了四十年終於單身

347
00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:05,774
我現在要幹好幹滿    -好

348
00:19:05,775 --> 00:19:08,143
幹到屌斷成雙節棍為止

349
00:19:08,144 --> 00:19:11,313
幹死一匹馬、喝乾牠的血

350
00:19:11,314 --> 00:19:12,147
我要吐了

351
00:19:12,148 --> 00:19:16,117
我對你奶奶整整忠心了四十年

352
00:19:16,118 --> 00:19:18,620
還陪她度過更年期和癌症期

353
00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:21,890
她是我的摯愛，我永遠會想她

354
00:19:21,891 --> 00:19:25,994
但是她臨終前叫我去找第二春

355
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:28,663
我十五年沒打炮了，傑森

356
00:19:28,664 --> 00:19:30,265
我要幹幹幹幹幹

357
00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:31,800
我就說真相只有一個

358
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,169
這整件事…你根本不想我陪你

359
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,771
你找我只是因為你缺馬伕？

360
00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:38,173
只可惜我選錯人了

361
00:19:38,174 --> 00:19:39,841
你只會趕走我的鮑魚

362
00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:42,677
你就像國軍的防空飛彈

363
00:19:42,678 --> 00:19:44,379
打不到敵人只會打鮑魚

364
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,020
什麼？

365
00:19:45,021 --> 00:19:46,848
你就像是打炮終結者

366
00:19:46,849 --> 00:19:49,184
從未來回來阻礙人家打炮

367
00:19:49,185 --> 00:19:51,786
將軍直接應該派你來

368
00:19:51,787 --> 00:19:55,323
大雄的爸媽就不會打炮生下他

369
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,592
閉嘴，爺爺    -你是哪不對勁？

370
00:19:57,593 --> 00:20:00,829
我記得你高中打球時屌炸了

371
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,664
還說要環遊世界

372
00:20:02,665 --> 00:20:04,799
結果現在在事務所當上班族

373
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,267
搞不好尿尿還坐著

374
00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:08,470
我不知道你是怎麼計劃這週末的

375
00:20:08,471 --> 00:20:11,262
我的目的只是送你去博卡

376
00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,471
就醬

377
00:20:13,409 --> 00:20:15,677
好吧    -可以打高爾夫了嗎？

378
00:20:15,678 --> 00:20:18,776
高痣肛啦，擋炮鐵捕

379
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,117
去你的

380
00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:34,120
GG怕誰？鮑青天

381
00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:36,359
住手

382
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,973
鮑龍星還要擋鮑嗎？

383
00:20:44,974 --> 00:20:48,266
衝三小！幹嘛老打我屁股？

384
00:20:48,911 --> 00:20:50,610
你的按摩棒在震動

385
00:20:51,781 --> 00:20:54,379
你接不了的，因為你沒密碼

386
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:56,918
看來爺爺還記得你的生日

387
00:20:56,919 --> 00:20:59,983
什麼？還給我    -我們去德通納海灘

388
00:21:00,089 --> 00:21:01,389
（給叫獸）

389
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:05,888
你去不了，因為鑰匙在我這

390
00:21:08,431 --> 00:21:09,663
你幹什麼？

391
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:11,859
嘿

392
00:21:12,334 --> 00:21:13,334
你怎麼辦到的？

393
00:21:13,335 --> 00:21:15,203
你到底去不去，老虎伍汁男？

394
00:21:15,204 --> 00:21:15,844
爺爺

395
00:21:15,845 --> 00:21:16,995
跑快點，王建「明」天見

396
00:21:16,996 --> 00:21:17,772
爺爺，停車

397
00:21:17,773 --> 00:21:19,040
林書「好」想要

398
00:21:19,041 --> 00:21:20,075
快停車

399
00:21:20,076 --> 00:21:21,743
朱木「顏」射一百遍

400
00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:22,777
天啊，爺爺

401
00:21:22,778 --> 00:21:24,579
柳信「每」天吃棒棒

402
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:25,869
停車

403
00:21:34,557 --> 00:21:35,721
（歡迎光臨德通納海灘）

404
00:21:46,135 --> 00:21:48,703
這他媽才像話嘛

405
00:21:48,704 --> 00:21:50,605
真是胡亂來

406
00:21:50,606 --> 00:21:53,475
好啦，去跟你喜歡的納美人喇賽

407
00:21:53,476 --> 00:21:54,609
我又沒有喜歡她

408
00:21:54,610 --> 00:21:55,276
騙肖

409
00:21:55,277 --> 00:21:58,146
那你幹嘛不否認自己是攝影師

410
00:21:58,147 --> 00:22:00,982
你和她喇賽，我跟莉諾喇基

411
00:22:00,983 --> 00:22:01,816
完美計劃

412
00:22:01,817 --> 00:22:03,952
我們還可以去找我同梯臭頭

413
00:22:03,953 --> 00:22:05,447
臭頭？

414
00:22:06,989 --> 00:22:08,813
她們在哪間酒吧？

415
00:22:09,492 --> 00:22:12,260
靠北…是梅芮迪絲

416
00:22:12,261 --> 00:22:13,161
拜託，我不能不接

417
00:22:13,162 --> 00:22:14,395
叫她去死

418
00:22:14,396 --> 00:22:15,163
爺爺

419
00:22:15,164 --> 00:22:18,099
我先檢查一下手機的興奮程度

420
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:19,267
爺爺，把電話給我

421
00:22:19,268 --> 00:22:21,002
果然不是很硬

422
00:22:21,003 --> 00:22:22,337
是梅芮迪絲打來的

423
00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:23,171
媽的

424
00:22:23,172 --> 00:22:25,940
你看看你，掉進車的陰道裡了

425
00:22:25,941 --> 00:22:28,176
靠，我得開擴音，千萬別說話

426
00:22:28,177 --> 00:22:30,468
我啥都不會說

427
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,242
懶趴

428
00:22:33,349 --> 00:22:35,283
是誰在說話？

429
00:22:35,284 --> 00:22:37,018
沒有人，我們在餐廳，抱歉

430
00:22:37,019 --> 00:22:38,411
那誰呀？

431
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:39,420
怎麼啦？

432
00:22:39,421 --> 00:22:42,857
我很想在週五的彩排之前

433
00:22:42,858 --> 00:22:46,227
在紐約時報網站上公佈婚禮的事

434
00:22:46,228 --> 00:22:48,196
所以我想和你對一下賓客單

435
00:22:48,197 --> 00:22:50,165
好，不過現在不太方便

436
00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:52,901
傑森？現在馬上立刻好嗎

437
00:22:52,902 --> 00:22:54,601
現在不方便？

438
00:22:55,304 --> 00:22:57,105
傑森理查凱利

439
00:22:57,106 --> 00:23:00,108
包皮摺博士的兒子

440
00:23:00,109 --> 00:23:05,446
大衛和布魯克是初級律師，代表…

441
00:23:05,447 --> 00:23:07,849
大屌燒跟濕黑鮑魚

442
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:08,983
他到底是誰？

443
00:23:08,984 --> 00:23:10,351
只是個服務生

444
00:23:10,352 --> 00:23:13,621
好像腦子有洞

445
00:23:13,822 --> 00:23:16,057
他邊走邊亂吼一些543

446
00:23:16,058 --> 00:23:17,458
我也搞不懂原因

447
00:23:17,459 --> 00:23:19,527
好，你在哪間餐廳？

448
00:23:19,528 --> 00:23:20,662
吵得我都聽不到

449
00:23:20,663 --> 00:23:22,897
我們在熱炒100

450
00:23:22,998 --> 00:23:24,999
德通納海灘超屌的

451
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,835
是德通納海灘，水喔，兄弟

452
00:23:27,836 --> 00:23:30,366
你在德通納海灘？

453
00:23:31,273 --> 00:23:33,208
聽我說，我們只是路過

454
00:23:33,209 --> 00:23:35,136
我們還在路上    -傑森

455
00:23:35,211 --> 00:23:36,578
我不明白你為何在那

456
00:23:36,579 --> 00:23:40,381
但你今晚到爺爺家最好打給我

457
00:23:40,382 --> 00:23:41,022
知道嗎？

458
00:23:41,023 --> 00:23:43,242
當然，寶貝，我超愛你的

459
00:23:44,019 --> 00:23:44,686
幹

460
00:23:44,687 --> 00:23:45,486
婚姻真魯小

461
00:23:45,487 --> 00:23:47,652
不知學生妹回了什麼

462
00:23:48,157 --> 00:23:48,923
爺爺，你寫了什麼？

463
00:23:48,924 --> 00:23:49,891
我剛傳了簡訊

464
00:23:49,892 --> 00:23:52,594
你寫了「我們海灘見」

465
00:23:52,595 --> 00:23:55,830
對，我還加了眨眼吐舌頭的臉

466
00:23:57,032 --> 00:23:58,766
我沒在唬爛你

467
00:23:58,767 --> 00:24:01,069
要是今晚我沒從你家打給她

468
00:24:01,070 --> 00:24:02,937
我就完了，GG定了

469
00:24:02,938 --> 00:24:06,107
靠，你是戴電子腳鐐的性侵犯啊

470
00:24:06,108 --> 00:24:08,376
這是她的個性，她就是這樣

471
00:24:08,377 --> 00:24:12,841
只要找不到人就一秒變潑婦

472
00:24:13,282 --> 00:24:15,116
別緊張，女人都這樣

473
00:24:15,117 --> 00:24:16,985
我知道，情侶本來就會吵架

474
00:24:16,986 --> 00:24:18,319
但是她不一樣

475
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:19,621
她已經沒有極限了

476
00:24:19,622 --> 00:24:22,390
今晚沒從你家打給她，我就慘了

477
00:24:22,391 --> 00:24:24,926
沒人希望這樣

478
00:24:24,927 --> 00:24:26,592
還用你說

479
00:24:26,862 --> 00:24:30,063
所以我才不懂我們幹嘛亂跑

480
00:24:30,266 --> 00:24:32,200
（屁）    -人生有時就像一團屁

481
00:24:32,201 --> 00:24:34,401
踏進去就得聞

482
00:24:35,904 --> 00:24:38,973
你是看了這些酒杯和T恤

483
00:24:38,974 --> 00:24:40,575
再把上面的話認同請分享？

484
00:24:40,576 --> 00:24:42,110
我在發認真文你給我回廢文

485
00:24:42,111 --> 00:24:43,878
你知道我有多冒險嗎？

486
00:24:43,879 --> 00:24:45,280
你扯翻了

487
00:24:45,281 --> 00:24:45,947
笑一個

488
00:24:45,948 --> 00:24:48,816
原來你一直帶著手機？

489
00:24:48,817 --> 00:24:50,451
你還隱瞞了什麼？

490
00:24:50,452 --> 00:24:52,253
你為什麼會講阿拉伯話？

491
00:24:52,254 --> 00:24:54,022
我從沒聽爸提過

492
00:24:54,023 --> 00:24:56,090
那是因為你爸跟我不太熟

493
00:24:56,091 --> 00:24:58,226
他小時候我都在當兵

494
00:24:58,227 --> 00:25:00,461
所以我們很不親

495
00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:03,120
所以他才不屌你？

496
00:25:06,368 --> 00:25:07,862
有店員嗎？

497
00:25:07,970 --> 00:25:10,338
全部給我趴在地上

498
00:25:10,339 --> 00:25:12,273
這是搶劫

499
00:25:12,274 --> 00:25:14,735
給我他媽趴下去

500
00:25:17,313 --> 00:25:20,114
天啊，看你那一臉衰樣

501
00:25:20,115 --> 00:25:22,583
我剛去買午餐和馬面具

502
00:25:22,584 --> 00:25:25,011
上次去海灘忘了帶走

503
00:25:25,454 --> 00:25:28,245
我還以為你會剉賽，少年仔

504
00:25:28,324 --> 00:25:29,818
這是真槍喔

505
00:25:31,593 --> 00:25:32,527
搞什麼啊？

506
00:25:32,528 --> 00:25:34,662
放輕鬆，這裡是佛羅里達

507
00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:36,597
整個城市都是我的射擊場

508
00:25:36,598 --> 00:25:38,499
你打穿牆壁了

509
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,001
嘿    -外面有行人耶

510
00:25:40,002 --> 00:25:42,470
我說了，這裡是佛羅里達

511
00:25:42,471 --> 00:25:44,305
人家才無所謂哩

512
00:25:44,306 --> 00:25:44,946
什麼？

513
00:25:44,947 --> 00:25:45,673
怎樣？

514
00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:47,875
歡迎光臨潘阿衝浪店

515
00:25:47,876 --> 00:25:49,844
想買什麼？我是潘阿

516
00:25:49,845 --> 00:25:50,845
你是潘阿？

517
00:25:50,846 --> 00:25:52,413
對，那是小名

518
00:25:52,414 --> 00:25:54,113
本名是潘蜜拉

519
00:25:55,884 --> 00:25:58,853
不行，兩位，絕對不行

520
00:25:58,854 --> 00:26:04,892
我絕不會在屋外販售毒品

521
00:26:04,893 --> 00:26:06,494
我們又沒要你賣毒品

522
00:26:06,495 --> 00:26:08,096
那就好，你們不是條子

523
00:26:08,097 --> 00:26:09,796
這樣的話

524
00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:12,767
歡迎來買毒品

525
00:26:12,768 --> 00:26:13,634
天啊

526
00:26:13,635 --> 00:26:14,769
我很上道的

527
00:26:14,770 --> 00:26:16,838
只賣純天然的

528
00:26:16,839 --> 00:26:19,674
所以我有大麻、毒菇還有安非

529
00:26:19,675 --> 00:26:20,641
安非？

530
00:26:20,642 --> 00:26:21,776
對    -那是在天然什麼雕？

531
00:26:21,777 --> 00:26:24,412
是在我表弟家天然冒出來的

532
00:26:24,413 --> 00:26:25,805
懂了吧？

533
00:26:26,014 --> 00:26:28,544
這些算免費，因為你朝我開槍

534
00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,884
真抱歉，差點顏射你

535
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,720
你要回家抱著電腦哭哭嗎？

536
00:26:32,721 --> 00:26:34,589
我要抱你媽哭啦

537
00:26:34,590 --> 00:26:36,323
吃我大鵰啦

538
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,421
嘿    -嘿

539
00:27:06,422 --> 00:27:07,789
你好，叫獸

540
00:27:07,790 --> 00:27:10,057
全沙灘最美的小妞就在這

541
00:27:10,058 --> 00:27:11,125
謝謝

542
00:27:11,126 --> 00:27:12,693
我是在講他

543
00:27:12,694 --> 00:27:14,762
對，對，笑死人了

544
00:27:14,763 --> 00:27:16,464
我要回旅館了

545
00:27:16,465 --> 00:27:19,233
別在路上隨便肛肛好喔

546
00:27:20,135 --> 00:27:23,371
來了個教授，還有富二代

547
00:27:23,372 --> 00:27:26,106
乾味人蔘的其他角色還好嗎？

548
00:27:26,408 --> 00:27:28,042
還不錯，繼續給車撞而已

549
00:27:28,043 --> 00:27:28,683
那就好

550
00:27:28,684 --> 00:27:30,578
有人笑我是景行廳男孩

551
00:27:30,579 --> 00:27:32,113
褪色照的效果如何？

552
00:27:32,114 --> 00:27:33,414
你開了亮度優化的功能

553
00:27:33,415 --> 00:27:35,239
我哪有…在哪裡？

554
00:27:35,284 --> 00:27:39,954
這種新款式的感光度非常強

555
00:27:39,955 --> 00:27:41,449
所以你得…

556
00:27:41,523 --> 00:27:42,857
那是什麼？    -不准看

557
00:27:42,858 --> 00:27:43,658
你在做什麼？

558
00:27:43,659 --> 00:27:45,092
快還我，快還我，名偵探科男

559
00:27:45,093 --> 00:27:45,793
不要

560
00:27:45,794 --> 00:27:46,434
幹嘛啦？

561
00:27:46,435 --> 00:27:48,396
你真的變成那種人了

562
00:27:48,397 --> 00:27:51,999
哪種人？愛地球的人？

563
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,534
你會跟北極熊綁在一起？

564
00:27:53,535 --> 00:27:57,004
先借我鐵鍊…你來海邊穿毛衣？

565
00:27:57,005 --> 00:27:57,645
對

566
00:27:57,646 --> 00:27:59,607
你剛從核歡山下來嗎？

567
00:27:59,608 --> 00:28:03,400
對，我滑雪來看你拯救世界

568
00:28:03,645 --> 00:28:05,776
來單挑果凍酒吧

569
00:28:06,448 --> 00:28:07,482
擊掌

570
00:28:07,483 --> 00:28:09,273
幫你從後面來嗎？

571
00:28:09,284 --> 00:28:11,285
那你要先從我前面來

572
00:28:11,286 --> 00:28:12,712
樂意之至

573
00:28:13,989 --> 00:28:15,415
糟糕

574
00:28:16,124 --> 00:28:17,825
喔喔，我通常沒這麼快射

575
00:28:17,826 --> 00:28:19,460
是嗎？我遇到的都滿快的

576
00:28:19,461 --> 00:28:21,752
我們剛剛在水裡撇條

577
00:28:22,364 --> 00:28:25,700
你們這些賤貨今天都死去哪了？

578
00:28:25,701 --> 00:28:27,668
我們的車在奧蘭多附近拋錨了

579
00:28:27,669 --> 00:28:29,136
你都不看手機嗎？

580
00:28:29,137 --> 00:28:30,426
太好了

581
00:28:30,806 --> 00:28:32,173
這些娘炮是誰？

582
00:28:32,174 --> 00:28:35,142
是路上認識的朋友

583
00:28:35,143 --> 00:28:35,783
對

584
00:28:35,784 --> 00:28:37,635
他們是寇帝和布拉

585
00:28:37,779 --> 00:28:40,014
是佛大袋棍球隊的

586
00:28:40,015 --> 00:28:41,249
他們打袋棍球？

587
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,683
而且是明星球員

588
00:28:42,684 --> 00:28:45,452
哪個聯盟？糖尿病聯盟嗎？

589
00:28:47,022 --> 00:28:51,418
我們待會要和喬大的比喝酒

590
00:28:51,693 --> 00:28:53,728
天啊！喬治亞大學的

591
00:28:53,729 --> 00:28:55,229
不會吧，你挺大黃蜂隊？

592
00:28:55,230 --> 00:28:56,230
恐怕是

593
00:28:56,231 --> 00:28:58,132
那你們應該來

594
00:28:58,133 --> 00:28:59,866
噴奶龍捲風

595
00:29:01,036 --> 00:29:02,860
謝啦，我們會的

596
00:29:03,372 --> 00:29:06,106
那太好了，待會見

597
00:29:06,675 --> 00:29:09,343
那就恭敬不如從命囉

598
00:29:09,344 --> 00:29:11,009
水喔，就醬

599
00:29:11,046 --> 00:29:11,746
就醬

600
00:29:11,747 --> 00:29:12,513
來啊

601
00:29:12,514 --> 00:29:13,281
馬上

602
00:29:13,282 --> 00:29:14,913
待會見

603
00:29:15,050 --> 00:29:17,784
來旅館的泳池畔

604
00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:20,245
喬大甲洨！

605
00:29:20,856 --> 00:29:23,491
走了吧，她們死會了

606
00:29:23,492 --> 00:29:26,027
那兩根軟屌？他們才不是男友

607
00:29:26,028 --> 00:29:27,361
只不過是大四生

608
00:29:27,362 --> 00:29:30,498
畢業壓力大約炮紓壓而已

609
00:29:30,499 --> 00:29:31,832
你沒去過春吶嗎？

610
00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:34,902
對，我沒去是因為我在唸法學院

611
00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:37,772
況且我的酒量不行了，爺爺

612
00:29:37,773 --> 00:29:39,907
我現在很容易嘔吐

613
00:29:39,908 --> 00:29:40,875
容易嘔吐？

614
00:29:40,876 --> 00:29:41,576
對

615
00:29:41,577 --> 00:29:44,607
喝個酒而已又不是叫你吞馬屌

616
00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:45,842
走

617
00:29:56,124 --> 00:29:56,958
加油，大黃蜂

618
00:29:56,959 --> 00:29:58,726
加油，大黃蜂，讚啦

619
00:29:58,727 --> 00:30:00,795
這裡三分之一的女生有皰疹

620
00:30:00,796 --> 00:30:02,663
從外表看不出來

621
00:30:02,664 --> 00:30:03,798
天啊，真他媽蠢

622
00:30:03,799 --> 00:30:06,863
這只是個大學趴，小姐

623
00:30:07,569 --> 00:30:08,970
他們在這

624
00:30:08,971 --> 00:30:11,772
我去拿啤酒，你呢，小仙女？

625
00:30:11,773 --> 00:30:14,942
要喝那個嗎？紫色的那個？

626
00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:19,407
感冒糖漿必嚕，阿公跟你嚕嚕

627
00:30:19,781 --> 00:30:22,982
我要叫你魔法阿公

628
00:30:26,355 --> 00:30:28,122
派對蠻熱鬧的

629
00:30:30,425 --> 00:30:33,717
這首是青蘋果樂園嘛！超炫的

630
00:30:39,301 --> 00:30:41,728
（鎮靜劑）

631
00:30:47,142 --> 00:30:50,978
比賽開始前要先來杯汽泡酒嗎？

632
00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:53,213
加紅酒如何？

633
00:30:57,686 --> 00:30:59,320
你輸定了，死老猴

634
00:30:59,321 --> 00:31:00,921
沒人比我會喝

635
00:31:00,922 --> 00:31:04,555
當然，你常幫布拉甲洨嘛

636
00:31:06,728 --> 00:31:07,892
來啊！

637
00:32:20,902 --> 00:32:22,669
其實蠻好玩的

638
00:32:27,142 --> 00:32:28,306
我是說

639
00:32:28,944 --> 00:32:36,878
其實我也不知道畢業後要幹嘛

640
00:32:37,385 --> 00:32:43,390
有人找我們去歐洲打球

641
00:32:43,391 --> 00:32:46,727
也有一堆經紀人找我們當麻豆

642
00:32:46,728 --> 00:32:49,861
包括這邊這個巨猩喬洋？

643
00:32:50,265 --> 00:32:51,554
各位

644
00:32:52,501 --> 00:32:54,359
快點過來看

645
00:32:54,469 --> 00:32:58,466
（大黃蜂隊）

646
00:33:11,319 --> 00:33:13,854
我們贏了

647
00:33:13,855 --> 00:33:21,789
跟本地最專業的藥頭買藥來慶祝吧

648
00:33:22,297 --> 00:33:24,394
你怎麼來了？

649
00:33:24,399 --> 00:33:25,499
賣毒品啊，兄弟

650
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,893
賺錢送孩子上幼幼班

651
00:33:28,503 --> 00:33:30,437
真是誠實啊

652
00:33:30,438 --> 00:33:33,741
你是把我的臉當龜頭一直摸喔

653
00:33:33,742 --> 00:33:35,643
來一點蘇湖一下吧！

654
00:33:35,644 --> 00:33:36,844
這是什麼？

655
00:33:36,845 --> 00:33:37,845
電子菸

656
00:33:37,846 --> 00:33:40,281
加大麻

657
00:33:40,282 --> 00:33:41,640
爽啦科科

658
00:33:45,086 --> 00:33:47,854
好大一口

659
00:33:53,695 --> 00:33:55,796
還好你沒抽這個

660
00:33:55,797 --> 00:33:57,498
裡面是古柯鹼

661
00:33:57,499 --> 00:33:58,299
什麼？

662
00:33:58,300 --> 00:33:59,200
沒錯

663
00:33:59,201 --> 00:34:01,662
這個是…等一下

664
00:34:02,704 --> 00:34:06,337
可能那是古柯鹼，這是大麻

665
00:34:06,341 --> 00:34:08,709
等一下，到底怎樣咧，潘阿？

666
00:34:08,710 --> 00:34:11,342
操，等等，哪個是古柯鹼？

667
00:34:13,014 --> 00:34:15,916
好，我瞭了，免煩惱啦

668
00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:17,318
真抱歉讓你擔心

669
00:34:17,319 --> 00:34:18,813
這真的扯爆啦

670
00:34:18,887 --> 00:34:20,347
兩根都是古柯鹼

671
00:34:20,856 --> 00:34:21,722
什麼？

672
00:34:21,723 --> 00:34:23,224
你吸這麼一大口

673
00:34:23,225 --> 00:34:26,085
應該會在半小時內掛掉

674
00:34:26,161 --> 00:34:27,394
我吸了古柯鹼？

675
00:34:27,395 --> 00:34:29,788
是啊，而且還很大口

676
00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:31,829
我吸了古柯鹼

677
00:34:34,836 --> 00:34:36,967
我是顆震東

678
00:34:40,141 --> 00:34:46,513
顆、震、東

679
00:34:46,514 --> 00:34:47,644
我早說了

680
00:34:50,886 --> 00:34:52,983
安啦，大膽學不怕髒嘛

681
00:34:57,158 --> 00:34:58,925
大家都愛吸古柯鹼

682
00:35:00,195 --> 00:35:01,587
蜜蜂愛吸古柯鹼

683
00:35:01,830 --> 00:35:03,731
蜜蜂愛吸古柯鹼

684
00:35:03,732 --> 00:35:05,897
要不要去幫幫他？

685
00:35:14,276 --> 00:35:16,737
媽的，我找到女王蜂了

686
00:35:19,047 --> 00:35:20,712
好，去幫他吧

687
00:35:23,218 --> 00:35:25,486
打擾一下，傑森

688
00:35:28,223 --> 00:35:29,390
傑森

689
00:35:29,391 --> 00:35:30,419
傑森

690
00:35:32,594 --> 00:35:33,690
傑森

691
00:35:42,604 --> 00:35:44,769
小蜜蜂嗡嗡嗡！

692
00:36:06,962 --> 00:36:08,126
糟了

693
00:36:10,365 --> 00:36:12,098
一、二、三

694
00:36:13,101 --> 00:36:13,801
喂？

695
00:36:13,802 --> 00:36:15,626
你給老娘死哪了？

696
00:36:17,138 --> 00:36:19,640
到爺爺家時已經很晚了

697
00:36:19,641 --> 00:36:22,843
手機充電器還壞了

698
00:36:22,844 --> 00:36:26,513
我們錯過網上公佈婚禮的機會

699
00:36:26,514 --> 00:36:28,907
你在哪裡？附近嗎？

700
00:36:30,452 --> 00:36:33,016
爺爺昨晚很難過

701
00:36:33,121 --> 00:36:36,754
所以才會弄到這麼晚

702
00:36:37,258 --> 00:36:40,694
我要給你看伴娘的捧花，開視訊吧

703
00:36:40,695 --> 00:36:41,757
靠北

704
00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:43,864
寶貝，爺爺家的收訊很差

705
00:36:43,865 --> 00:36:44,698
傑森，你他媽照辦就是了

706
00:36:44,699 --> 00:36:47,467
好，等我一下

707
00:36:47,669 --> 00:36:49,436
剉賽剉賽…

708
00:36:50,372 --> 00:36:52,139
你臉上的是沙嗎？

709
00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:54,975
是木屑，因為我幫爺爺鋸東西

710
00:36:54,976 --> 00:36:58,803
臉上有木屑是很正常的

711
00:36:59,414 --> 00:37:01,081
你好，親愛的    -傑森

712
00:37:01,082 --> 00:37:03,851
媽？爸？

713
00:37:03,852 --> 00:37:05,949
你臉上的是字嗎？

714
00:37:06,654 --> 00:37:08,856
我昨晚在寫結婚誓詞

715
00:37:08,857 --> 00:37:11,352
結果…

716
00:37:11,526 --> 00:37:15,029
我睡著被筆弄到臉了

717
00:37:15,030 --> 00:37:17,731
肯定是這樣的

718
00:37:17,732 --> 00:37:18,632
梅芮迪絲打給我們

719
00:37:18,633 --> 00:37:20,734
因為她整晚找不到你

720
00:37:20,735 --> 00:37:23,265
牧師來討論誓詞了

721
00:37:24,639 --> 00:37:26,634
早安，傑森

722
00:37:26,641 --> 00:37:28,242
嘿，夏隆

723
00:37:28,243 --> 00:37:31,171
傑森，你頭上畫了什麼？

724
00:37:32,247 --> 00:37:35,449
像雞雞的納粹黨徽

725
00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:36,750
才不是這樣的

726
00:37:36,751 --> 00:37:40,454
像齒輪在射精

727
00:37:40,455 --> 00:37:42,890
不…這是視訊效果

728
00:37:42,891 --> 00:37:44,691
屁孩間很流行

729
00:37:44,692 --> 00:37:46,482
還可以玩cosplay

730
00:37:48,463 --> 00:37:51,532
Cosplay個頭

731
00:37:51,533 --> 00:37:54,668
好，我們討論誓詞吧

732
00:37:54,669 --> 00:38:00,441
傑森，講講你喜歡梅芮迪絲哪裡

733
00:38:00,442 --> 00:38:03,577
該從何說起呢？

734
00:38:03,578 --> 00:38:04,902
安安

735
00:38:07,415 --> 00:38:09,444
安安，小蜜蜂

736
00:38:10,151 --> 00:38:10,918
什麼？

737
00:38:10,919 --> 00:38:13,554
想不到就講外表吧

738
00:38:13,555 --> 00:38:15,255
可以摸小蜜蜂嗎？

739
00:38:15,256 --> 00:38:17,717
我喜歡…不准摸小蜜蜂

740
00:38:18,426 --> 00:38:21,388
我喜歡她的…

741
00:38:22,063 --> 00:38:23,887
你幹什麼？住手

742
00:38:24,099 --> 00:38:25,229
走開

743
00:38:25,934 --> 00:38:27,801
小蜜蜂毛絨絨

744
00:38:27,802 --> 00:38:28,502
他在講什麼？

745
00:38:28,503 --> 00:38:30,771
我不知從何說起

746
00:38:30,772 --> 00:38:32,506
我要戳小蜜蜂

747
00:38:32,507 --> 00:38:33,307
我要戳小蜜蜂

748
00:38:33,308 --> 00:38:33,948
什麼？

749
00:38:33,949 --> 00:38:35,242
我要戳小蜜蜂

750
00:38:35,243 --> 00:38:36,643
不准戳蜜蜂

751
00:38:36,644 --> 00:38:38,145
我要親小蜜蜂

752
00:38:38,146 --> 00:38:39,572
不准親蜜蜂

753
00:38:40,281 --> 00:38:42,149
我喜歡她親我的感覺

754
00:38:42,150 --> 00:38:43,584
臭小孩

755
00:38:43,585 --> 00:38:44,852
嘿    -天啊

756
00:38:44,853 --> 00:38:45,652
嘿

757
00:38:45,653 --> 00:38:46,587
死變態

758
00:38:46,588 --> 00:38:48,455
我得掛了，抱歉，我愛你

759
00:38:48,456 --> 00:38:49,189
再見

760
00:38:49,190 --> 00:38:51,014
不行…傑森

761
00:38:51,726 --> 00:38:53,493
過來，我都說別亂跑了

762
00:38:55,263 --> 00:38:57,155
我們在戳戳

763
00:38:57,832 --> 00:39:01,869
等等，他講的是一隻蜜蜂娃娃

764
00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:03,003
什麼蜜蜂？

765
00:39:03,004 --> 00:39:04,171
這裡原本有蜜蜂的

766
00:39:04,172 --> 00:39:05,539
好柔軟喔

767
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:06,773
他還讓我親它

768
00:39:06,774 --> 00:39:08,442
我才沒有讓你親

769
00:39:08,443 --> 00:39:09,437
你在胡說什麼？

770
00:39:09,777 --> 00:39:11,237
你死定了

771
00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:13,440
把拔好Man

772
00:39:14,616 --> 00:39:16,508
我操

773
00:39:32,167 --> 00:39:35,402
我的天啊，大哥賞條褲子吧

774
00:39:36,137 --> 00:39:36,904
拜託你

775
00:39:36,905 --> 00:39:40,207
天啊，抱歉，沒問題

776
00:39:40,208 --> 00:39:43,911
當然可以，我馬上過來

777
00:39:43,912 --> 00:39:46,646
要卡其褲還是運動褲？

778
00:39:46,781 --> 00:39:49,783
什麼都行，還是卡其褲好了

779
00:39:49,784 --> 00:39:50,717
卡其褲？    -對，麻煩你

780
00:39:50,718 --> 00:39:51,518
好的

781
00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:54,922
我會順便買午餐，要三明治嗎？

782
00:39:54,923 --> 00:39:56,390
要，真是太好了

783
00:39:56,391 --> 00:39:57,925
火腿還是火雞肉？

784
00:39:57,926 --> 00:39:59,259
我想吃火雞

785
00:39:59,260 --> 00:40:01,687
真有趣，我也喜歡吃火雞

786
00:40:01,729 --> 00:40:03,326
太感謝了

787
00:40:03,998 --> 00:40:06,733
火雞…寫好了

788
00:40:06,734 --> 00:40:11,872
最後，你想被智能不足的人雞姦

789
00:40:11,873 --> 00:40:18,009
還是想要脫光當他的人肉廁所？

790
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,049
你以為坐牢是坐身體健康的喔

791
00:40:22,050 --> 00:40:23,317
坐下

792
00:40:32,393 --> 00:40:34,828
好了，蓋瑞，我上完了

793
00:40:34,829 --> 00:40:36,763
時間不早了，我得去開店

794
00:40:36,764 --> 00:40:38,031
這個沒辦法

795
00:40:38,032 --> 00:40:40,493
你向中學生販售迷幻仙人球

796
00:40:42,870 --> 00:40:46,273
那我也沒辦法弄到生長賀爾蒙了

797
00:40:46,274 --> 00:40:49,409
你不是想變壯？記得嗎？

798
00:40:49,410 --> 00:40:50,904
雖然你已經很像斤城武了

799
00:40:51,412 --> 00:40:52,546
好，你出來吧

800
00:40:52,547 --> 00:40:53,614
他為什麼可以走？

801
00:40:53,615 --> 00:40:55,449
蓋瑞…

802
00:40:55,450 --> 00:40:56,917
就是他賣我古柯鹼的

803
00:40:56,918 --> 00:40:58,885
你竟然恩將仇報？

804
00:40:58,886 --> 00:41:00,454
抓耙子會挨揍喔

805
00:41:00,455 --> 00:41:01,922
對    -少亂講

806
00:41:01,923 --> 00:41:03,203
對，抓耙子會挨揍

807
00:41:03,204 --> 00:41:04,494
我以為我們是麻吉

808
00:41:04,495 --> 00:41:05,595
別欺負我的兄弟

809
00:41:05,596 --> 00:41:07,394
對，改天見，蓋瑞

810
00:41:07,395 --> 00:41:10,230
再會，下次要記得還我錢喔

811
00:41:10,231 --> 00:41:11,331
芬奇    -嘿

812
00:41:11,332 --> 00:41:12,966
芬奇警官    -你好嗎？

813
00:41:12,967 --> 00:41:14,201
我有個請求    -說

814
00:41:14,202 --> 00:41:16,103
我要閃人了    -是啊

815
00:41:16,104 --> 00:41:18,538
來的時候我身上有袋毒品

816
00:41:18,539 --> 00:41:21,908
我希望你能讓我們父子重聚

817
00:41:21,909 --> 00:41:24,211
其實呢，我也希望你賓至如歸

818
00:41:24,212 --> 00:41:25,206
謝啦

819
00:41:25,213 --> 00:41:26,741
在他那    -蓋瑞

820
00:41:27,482 --> 00:41:29,349
拿去吧    -你看他手多壯

821
00:41:29,350 --> 00:41:30,284
是啊

822
00:41:30,285 --> 00:41:31,485
都快變魔鬼筋肉人了

823
00:41:31,486 --> 00:41:34,380
他時常鍛鍊

824
00:41:34,455 --> 00:41:37,246
好啦，下次再聊，再見

825
00:41:38,660 --> 00:41:40,655
真是個好人，是吧？

826
00:41:41,229 --> 00:41:42,587
聽我說

827
00:41:43,598 --> 00:41:45,832
我很抱歉造成這場誤會

828
00:41:45,833 --> 00:41:47,794
但是請聽我說

829
00:41:48,136 --> 00:41:49,503
老實說我是個律師

830
00:41:49,504 --> 00:41:53,205
我知道我的權益，我可以打電話

831
00:41:54,142 --> 00:41:55,676
這是你的電話？

832
00:41:55,677 --> 00:41:56,510
對，是我的

833
00:41:56,511 --> 00:41:57,800
你的喔？

834
00:41:57,979 --> 00:41:59,780
我們拍張照片

835
00:41:59,781 --> 00:42:00,647
幫你上歐兔板

836
00:42:00,648 --> 00:42:02,249
-徵求寂寞的肛肛好
-別這樣對我的手機

837
00:42:02,250 --> 00:42:04,313
希望有廣角鏡頭

838
00:42:08,589 --> 00:42:09,651
逗你的

839
00:42:11,359 --> 00:42:13,217
有人來保他

840
00:42:13,361 --> 00:42:15,253
給這變態一條褲子

841
00:42:15,463 --> 00:42:16,463
好吧

842
00:42:16,464 --> 00:42:18,999
這些褲子的主人

843
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,997
是之前濫交趴殺人案的死者

844
00:42:23,471 --> 00:42:26,467
你要沾精液的還是沾血的？

845
00:42:26,741 --> 00:42:29,373
自己選，要哪條？

846
00:42:30,345 --> 00:42:31,178
沾血的

847
00:42:31,179 --> 00:42:32,707
那就沾精液的吧

848
00:42:35,049 --> 00:42:37,579
出來囉    -走開

849
00:42:37,985 --> 00:42:39,486
別他媽跟我講話

850
00:42:39,487 --> 00:42:42,189
我知道事情有點大條

851
00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:44,024
但我差點就上到莉諾

852
00:42:44,025 --> 00:42:45,826
你到底有什麼毛病？

853
00:42:45,827 --> 00:42:48,362
我他媽就快結婚了

854
00:42:48,363 --> 00:42:50,030
是下禮拜，對方是猶太人

855
00:42:50,031 --> 00:42:52,322
結果我他媽進了監獄

856
00:42:52,433 --> 00:42:55,167
頭上還畫了一堆

857
00:42:55,503 --> 00:42:57,498
雞雞排成的納粹黨徽

858
00:42:58,306 --> 00:43:00,540
史稱納粹屌徽

859
00:43:01,576 --> 00:43:03,744
什麼？    -只是文字遊戲

860
00:43:03,745 --> 00:43:05,512
文字遊戲喔

861
00:43:06,647 --> 00:43:07,811
文字遊戲…

862
00:43:09,851 --> 00:43:11,318
不如玩這個吧

863
00:43:11,319 --> 00:43:15,055
我送你去你那個同梯的家

864
00:43:15,056 --> 00:43:17,187
讓他送你去博卡

865
00:43:17,325 --> 00:43:18,990
我他媽受夠你了

866
00:43:22,363 --> 00:43:23,597
你看什麼看？

867
00:43:23,598 --> 00:43:25,832
我對你的奶頭情不自禁

868
00:43:27,869 --> 00:43:30,160
你他媽有病嗎？

869
00:43:34,409 --> 00:43:39,305
越戰時，臭頭是同排裡殺最多人的

870
00:43:39,614 --> 00:43:40,747
118人斬捏

871
00:43:40,748 --> 00:43:42,208
閉嘴啦

872
00:43:44,018 --> 00:43:45,285
這是什麼地方？

873
00:43:45,286 --> 00:43:46,820
不知道也不在乎

874
00:43:46,821 --> 00:43:50,157
起碼陪我進去一下，確定沒走錯

875
00:43:50,158 --> 00:43:51,322
你先請

876
00:43:52,627 --> 00:43:54,087
真是孝順啊

877
00:43:55,396 --> 00:43:57,254
你奶奶的骨灰在裡面

878
00:43:59,934 --> 00:44:01,701
她在棺材裡，去你的

879
00:44:04,071 --> 00:44:06,737
晚做總比沒做好

880
00:44:07,408 --> 00:44:10,040
對，幹死他們，阿福

881
00:44:10,111 --> 00:44:11,742
操你媽的

882
00:44:12,647 --> 00:44:13,709
臭頭？

883
00:44:14,282 --> 00:44:16,106
迪克，你他媽怎麼來了？

884
00:44:18,453 --> 00:44:19,583
這個嗎？

885
00:44:20,488 --> 00:44:22,380
是肝衰竭

886
00:44:24,959 --> 00:44:26,556
這蕾絲邊是誰？

887
00:44:26,761 --> 00:44:28,585
我孫子，傑森

888
00:44:28,796 --> 00:44:29,824
是喔？

889
00:44:30,064 --> 00:44:32,265
他來找我磨豆腐？

890
00:44:32,266 --> 00:44:34,201
這樣講很汙辱女同志

891
00:44:34,202 --> 00:44:37,494
歹勢喔，拉拉

892
00:44:38,172 --> 00:44:39,539
玩賓果遊戲了

893
00:44:39,540 --> 00:44:40,474
走吧

894
00:44:40,475 --> 00:44:42,008
臭頭，我們帶你離開這裡

895
00:44:42,009 --> 00:44:42,876
我們走

896
00:44:42,877 --> 00:44:46,078
我只剩一個月了

897
00:44:46,347 --> 00:44:48,842
我不想你看到我這樣

898
00:44:49,484 --> 00:44:51,775
我要你記得我英勇的樣子

899
00:44:51,953 --> 00:44:53,887
不用管我了

900
00:44:53,888 --> 00:44:54,821
可是臭頭…    -不…

901
00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:56,953
先聽我講完

902
00:44:57,225 --> 00:45:02,588
請讓你的蕾絲邊孫子幫我吹喇叭

903
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,195
我沒救了，迪克

904
00:45:09,003 --> 00:45:13,865
我只想玩賓果遊戲而已

905
00:45:14,475 --> 00:45:15,434
走吧

906
00:45:17,178 --> 00:45:18,308
可以走了嗎？

907
00:45:22,149 --> 00:45:23,279
賓果

908
00:45:30,658 --> 00:45:32,619
你朋友的事我很遺憾

909
00:45:34,128 --> 00:45:35,861
人到了這種地步

910
00:45:37,265 --> 00:45:38,998
還沒死就放棄人生了

911
00:45:39,534 --> 00:45:43,565
現實的人生也不過就這樣

912
00:45:49,877 --> 00:45:51,166
我們回去吧

913
00:45:52,346 --> 00:45:53,544
我知道

914
00:45:55,249 --> 00:45:56,573
我來開車

915
00:45:56,884 --> 00:45:59,175
不是回家，是回德通納

916
00:46:00,721 --> 00:46:03,012
三小？    -我一定要上那個女的

917
00:46:03,157 --> 00:46:05,652
天啊，爺爺    -真的，我非得上她

918
00:46:06,727 --> 00:46:08,361
你只是心情低落

919
00:46:08,362 --> 00:46:10,857
奶奶的事讓你思緒錯亂

920
00:46:11,098 --> 00:46:13,066
是奶奶要我這樣的

921
00:46:13,067 --> 00:46:13,707
什麼？

922
00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:14,794
她說在她死之後

923
00:46:14,795 --> 00:46:17,837
希望我過著我嚮往的生活

924
00:46:17,838 --> 00:46:19,039
知道我想幹嘛嗎？

925
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,934
我要那個大學妹幫我深喉嚨

926
00:46:22,076 --> 00:46:23,910
這有什麼意義？

927
00:46:23,911 --> 00:46:25,378
會讓你感覺年輕？

928
00:46:25,379 --> 00:46:27,840
對，這樣不好嗎？

929
00:46:28,449 --> 00:46:29,783
感覺年輕不好嗎？

930
00:46:29,784 --> 00:46:31,651
我有什麼？嗝屁的老婆？

931
00:46:31,652 --> 00:46:35,055
快嗝屁的朋友？走運的話還能多活幾年

932
00:46:35,056 --> 00:46:37,620
告訴你，我嚇得都快剉賽了

933
00:46:38,759 --> 00:46:39,923
就是這樣

934
00:46:41,996 --> 00:46:44,097
我不奢望你會明白

935
00:46:44,098 --> 00:46:45,365
你還年輕

936
00:46:45,533 --> 00:46:48,668
你還要很久才會面對這些

937
00:46:48,669 --> 00:46:50,103
但我老實跟你說

938
00:46:50,104 --> 00:46:53,206
這是我的告別炮了！

939
00:46:53,207 --> 00:46:55,308
沒有你我辦不到

940
00:46:55,309 --> 00:46:57,777
所以我要拜託你

941
00:46:57,778 --> 00:47:00,410
多待一天讓我完成願望

942
00:47:02,350 --> 00:47:03,617
求求你

943
00:47:08,756 --> 00:47:10,457
各位觀眾

944
00:47:10,458 --> 00:47:13,056
雞肌生死鬥！

945
00:47:13,227 --> 00:47:17,861
要上演猛男姦獄囉！

946
00:47:18,699 --> 00:47:20,000
讚啦

947
00:47:20,001 --> 00:47:22,531
好，我明天會回家，我保證

948
00:47:23,471 --> 00:47:25,939
對，我知道晚宴對事務所很重要

949
00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:27,607
等等，我有插撥，可能是梅芮迪絲

950
00:47:27,608 --> 00:47:28,567
再見

951
00:47:30,111 --> 00:47:30,751
喂？

952
00:47:30,752 --> 00:47:33,947
是我，剛有人用拇指肛我

953
00:47:34,649 --> 00:47:35,348
什麼？

954
00:47:35,349 --> 00:47:37,484
我只是站在一邊講電話

955
00:47:37,485 --> 00:47:40,413
結果有人到我後面用拇指肛我

956
00:47:41,155 --> 00:47:42,122
有看到臉嗎？

957
00:47:42,123 --> 00:47:43,056
千年殺！

958
00:47:43,057 --> 00:47:44,691
操，不准你再看活影忍者！

959
00:47:44,692 --> 00:47:46,152
跟家裡談得如何？

960
00:47:46,327 --> 00:47:47,594
你說呢？

961
00:47:47,628 --> 00:47:48,826
我們走吧

962
00:47:49,864 --> 00:47:50,697
走啊

963
00:47:50,698 --> 00:47:52,022
大屁股

964
00:47:52,333 --> 00:47:55,201
歡迎蘿蜜歐

965
00:47:55,202 --> 00:47:59,233
小朱加上破產版鷗弟

966
00:47:59,607 --> 00:48:01,808
有沒有挑戰者？

967
00:48:01,809 --> 00:48:02,449
在這裡

968
00:48:02,450 --> 00:48:06,413
這兩個！選他們，他們要雞肌！

969
00:48:06,414 --> 00:48:08,214
有人想挑戰嗎？

970
00:48:08,215 --> 00:48:10,983
你上去今晚我就讓你上

971
00:48:11,085 --> 00:48:12,018
好，成交

972
00:48:12,019 --> 00:48:13,153
太棒了

973
00:48:13,154 --> 00:48:14,318
什麼？

974
00:48:15,222 --> 00:48:16,489
不行

975
00:48:16,490 --> 00:48:18,391
為何？昨晚我看過你的身材

976
00:48:18,392 --> 00:48:19,893
你比寇帝壯多了

977
00:48:19,894 --> 00:48:23,652
而我的身材也絕對比那蠢豬好

978
00:48:24,765 --> 00:48:27,200
有個迷途老人上台了

979
00:48:27,201 --> 00:48:29,169
還有看護瑪麗亞

980
00:48:29,170 --> 00:48:30,402
我才不去

981
00:48:30,438 --> 00:48:39,079
快上台…

982
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:40,369
就當為了我吧

983
00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:44,309
快上台…

984
00:48:45,519 --> 00:48:51,815
蘿蜜歐對決宋省長跟蕾絲邊孫女

985
00:48:52,927 --> 00:48:57,564
各位觀眾，要展現肌肉了嗎？

986
00:48:57,565 --> 00:49:00,233
三、二、一

987
00:49:00,234 --> 00:49:01,432
脫

988
00:49:02,536 --> 00:49:05,066
肥鷗弟的外套有點難脫

989
00:49:07,274 --> 00:49:09,542
我看到神啦！

990
00:49:09,543 --> 00:49:12,045
就像助助姐的鮑魚

991
00:49:12,046 --> 00:49:14,007
又老又緊實

992
00:49:15,015 --> 00:49:18,011
哇，對面在彩虹大遊行

993
00:49:19,587 --> 00:49:20,683
接著呢？

994
00:49:22,790 --> 00:49:25,524
老先生跌倒了嗎？    -什麼？

995
00:49:25,726 --> 00:49:28,962
喔不，你他媽在做單手伏地挺身

996
00:49:28,963 --> 00:49:30,797
我滿出來啦！

997
00:49:30,798 --> 00:49:33,032
蕾絲邊女兒也加入了

998
00:49:33,033 --> 00:49:35,995
他昨天有抽古柯鹼喔

999
00:49:36,070 --> 00:49:39,066
這股力量來自惡魔的糖果

1000
00:49:39,473 --> 00:49:41,104
這實在太豪洨了

1001
00:49:43,277 --> 00:49:45,204
換你了，豬麗葉

1002
00:49:45,780 --> 00:49:48,446
怎麼辦咧，蘿蜜歐？

1003
00:49:49,316 --> 00:49:53,453
朋友們，別忘了來潘阿衝浪店

1004
00:49:53,454 --> 00:49:57,857
「海灘巾」一盎司賣五十元

1005
00:49:57,858 --> 00:50:01,528
「防曬乳」十元一小袋

1006
00:50:01,529 --> 00:50:04,263
當然我也有賣「地圖」

1007
00:50:06,267 --> 00:50:07,898
送入洞房

1008
00:50:08,435 --> 00:50:10,203
換你了，威兒肛

1009
00:50:10,204 --> 00:50:13,166
觀眾正在為蘿蜜歐歡呼

1010
00:50:14,408 --> 00:50:16,437
爺爺，交給我，你看著

1011
00:50:16,877 --> 00:50:20,476
正面蟹形，三、二、一

1012
00:50:24,118 --> 00:50:26,419
有人放濕屁呦

1013
00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:27,448
我沒有

1014
00:50:27,888 --> 00:50:31,316
快叫救生員，有人被熏昏了

1015
00:50:41,135 --> 00:50:43,335
我沒拿麥克風喔

1016
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,002
遜斃了

1017
00:50:48,576 --> 00:50:49,968
我有個點子

1018
00:50:50,211 --> 00:50:52,308
記得我小時候常玩的嗎？

1019
00:50:53,047 --> 00:50:54,075
沒錯

1020
00:50:57,918 --> 00:51:00,186
等等，這是啥？

1021
00:51:00,321 --> 00:51:05,024
幹你媽的，我到底看了什麼？

1022
00:51:06,594 --> 00:51:09,419
難道我又嗑藥了？廢話！

1023
00:51:10,264 --> 00:51:11,898
我受驚了！我滿出來了！

1024
00:51:11,899 --> 00:51:14,759
今天的阿公沒有極限！

1025
00:51:15,369 --> 00:51:16,567
安怎，布拉甲？

1026
00:51:16,937 --> 00:51:18,636
安怎，布拉甲？

1027
00:51:18,939 --> 00:51:20,907
安怎，布拉甲？

1028
00:51:20,908 --> 00:51:25,440
安怎，布拉甲？

1029
00:51:25,913 --> 00:51:28,481
我驚呆了，快拍下來

1030
00:51:28,482 --> 00:51:32,013
拿去放臉書，明天頭條就這味了！

1031
00:51:32,253 --> 00:51:34,153
靠，放我下來

1032
00:51:34,154 --> 00:51:36,149
大家都拍照了嗎？

1033
00:51:37,224 --> 00:51:38,491
你又衝三小？

1034
00:51:38,492 --> 00:51:39,759
我不能這麼做

1035
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:40,727
蛤？    -天啊

1036
00:51:40,728 --> 00:51:43,529
冠軍是…

1037
00:51:43,530 --> 00:51:45,098
等咧，你們要去哪？

1038
00:51:45,099 --> 00:51:46,833
你們要去哪？

1039
00:51:46,834 --> 00:51:47,500
傑森

1040
00:51:47,501 --> 00:51:48,835
難道是要棄屌投降

1041
00:51:48,836 --> 00:51:50,370
你怎麼跑了？我們要贏了

1042
00:51:50,371 --> 00:51:51,604
因為我是律師

1043
00:51:51,605 --> 00:51:53,840
我不能被拍到這樣亂搞

1044
00:51:53,841 --> 00:51:56,109
要是被事務所看到怎麼辦？

1045
00:51:56,110 --> 00:51:59,937
對方棄權，所以冠軍是…

1046
00:52:01,115 --> 00:52:02,746
這兩根假屌

1047
00:52:04,752 --> 00:52:06,883
我的工作每天面臨危…

1048
00:52:07,888 --> 00:52:08,588
你在幹嘛？

1049
00:52:08,589 --> 00:52:11,382
拆空氣壓縮機的調節器

1050
00:52:12,593 --> 00:52:13,593
拿瓶啤酒來

1051
00:52:13,594 --> 00:52:15,623
你以前在軍中是幹嘛的？

1052
00:52:16,964 --> 00:52:18,097
我只是修坦克的

1053
00:52:18,098 --> 00:52:19,422
放屁

1054
00:52:19,867 --> 00:52:21,429
你會阿拉伯語

1055
00:52:21,802 --> 00:52:23,592
發動車還不用鑰匙

1056
00:52:23,637 --> 00:52:24,904
告訴我實話

1057
00:52:25,539 --> 00:52:27,874
好吧，我是特種部隊的

1058
00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:30,610
負責訓練伊拉克和越南的反抗軍

1059
00:52:30,611 --> 00:52:32,606
快拿啤酒瓶來

1060
00:52:42,556 --> 00:52:45,992
讚喔，再來一次

1061
00:52:45,993 --> 00:52:47,160
我們去寇帝房間更衣

1062
00:52:47,161 --> 00:52:48,461
我偷了他的錢包

1063
00:52:48,462 --> 00:52:50,252
沒什麼好看的

1064
00:52:50,497 --> 00:52:52,526
條子馬上就會來了

1065
00:52:54,168 --> 00:52:55,702
不…我是寇帝的父親

1066
00:52:55,703 --> 00:52:58,438
我的意思是麻藥下重一點

1067
00:52:58,439 --> 00:53:00,969
如果不行了就拔管吧

1068
00:53:01,275 --> 00:53:02,439
謝謝你，醫生

1069
00:53:04,178 --> 00:53:07,208
搞定，他們會住院到明天

1070
00:53:07,381 --> 00:53:09,080
這房間今晚是我們的

1071
00:53:10,617 --> 00:53:12,385
瞧瞧這些天龍人

1072
00:53:12,386 --> 00:53:14,687
你是跟國冥黨黨部吃飯嗎？

1073
00:53:14,688 --> 00:53:15,920
爺爺

1074
00:53:16,123 --> 00:53:20,193
家裡還有誰知道你是特種部隊？

1075
00:53:20,194 --> 00:53:22,628
只有你奶奶知道

1076
00:53:22,629 --> 00:53:25,598
你爸在我退伍前就不鳥我了

1077
00:53:25,599 --> 00:53:29,096
所以他老認為我是修坦克的

1078
00:53:29,403 --> 00:53:33,639
你不認為老實講會改善關係嗎？

1079
00:53:36,643 --> 00:53:39,343
出來讓我看一下，出來吧

1080
00:53:44,218 --> 00:53:47,887
首先，沒人會戴白腰帶

1081
00:53:47,888 --> 00:53:50,723
只有練空手道的小學生

1082
00:53:50,724 --> 00:53:52,291
和人生失敗組會戴

1083
00:53:52,292 --> 00:53:54,150
把腰帶拿掉

1084
00:53:54,395 --> 00:53:56,863
還有那件白色孝服

1085
00:53:56,864 --> 00:53:58,431
跟那條卡其褲

1086
00:53:58,432 --> 00:54:02,361
要去把妹，不是幫客戶吹喇叭

1087
00:54:02,669 --> 00:54:03,867
穿上這些

1088
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:07,173
你大概忘了

1089
00:54:07,174 --> 00:54:09,509
我昨晚連內褲都搞丟了

1090
00:54:09,510 --> 00:54:11,277
快點穿，我不會看啦

1091
00:54:14,048 --> 00:54:14,981
真是好棒棒

1092
00:54:14,982 --> 00:54:16,315
天啊，爺爺

1093
00:54:16,316 --> 00:54:18,551
長得很好，有遺傳到爺爺

1094
00:54:18,552 --> 00:54:21,514
沒我的粗大，但形狀一樣

1095
00:54:22,890 --> 00:54:23,923
啊不就好棒棒

1096
00:54:23,924 --> 00:54:25,521
還好不像你老爸的

1097
00:54:25,659 --> 00:54:27,260
他的雞雞遺傳到媽媽

1098
00:54:27,261 --> 00:54:28,994
胡扯

1099
00:54:29,363 --> 00:54:30,687
把褲子穿上

1100
00:54:46,447 --> 00:54:47,814
糟了，是梅芮迪絲

1101
00:54:47,815 --> 00:54:48,979
不要接

1102
00:54:49,416 --> 00:54:51,250
週末就是彩排午宴了捏

1103
00:54:51,251 --> 00:54:52,218
不准接電話

1104
00:54:52,219 --> 00:54:55,555
今晚別再想婚禮的事，拜託咧

1105
00:54:55,556 --> 00:54:57,757
兩個火辣性感的大學鮑魚

1106
00:54:57,758 --> 00:55:02,795
在這邊最夯的夜店腿開開等我們

1107
00:55:02,796 --> 00:55:04,427
想想她們吧

1108
00:55:07,568 --> 00:55:08,562
好吧

1109
00:55:28,622 --> 00:55:30,756
我覺得你不太受歡迎耶

1110
00:55:30,757 --> 00:55:33,048
該當心的是你才對

1111
00:55:33,193 --> 00:55:34,960
小心變奧利奧餅乾

1112
00:55:35,629 --> 00:55:36,629
奧利奧餅乾？

1113
00:55:36,630 --> 00:55:38,731
就是兩個黑人肛一個白人

1114
00:55:38,732 --> 00:55:40,556
你就是中間的奶油

1115
00:55:57,084 --> 00:55:58,417
很高興你們能來

1116
00:55:58,418 --> 00:56:00,083
一起喝到掛吧

1117
00:56:00,187 --> 00:56:02,284
我繼父很討厭我

1118
00:56:03,857 --> 00:56:05,089
走吧

1119
00:56:14,101 --> 00:56:16,266
林阿公陳冠吸啦！

1120
00:56:19,106 --> 00:56:21,670
天啊，我超愛這首歌

1121
00:56:22,843 --> 00:56:24,510
你不會跳一跳掛掉吧？

1122
00:56:24,511 --> 00:56:25,378
應該不會

1123
00:56:25,379 --> 00:56:26,737
太好了

1124
00:56:34,154 --> 00:56:34,887
跳舞吧

1125
00:56:34,888 --> 00:56:35,984
不要

1126
00:57:08,422 --> 00:57:10,713
死玻璃，帽子拿來！

1127
00:57:16,897 --> 00:57:18,528
拿過來！這是什麼？

1128
00:57:21,268 --> 00:57:23,559
別欺負我的黑人私生子

1129
00:57:24,171 --> 00:57:26,462
我們只是找他跳舞而已

1130
00:57:26,573 --> 00:57:27,873
他不想跳舞

1131
00:57:27,874 --> 00:57:29,709
他不跳就你跳

1132
00:57:29,710 --> 00:57:31,841
我不想跳舞    -舞棍阿伯

1133
00:57:32,279 --> 00:57:33,603
沒事的

1134
00:57:34,181 --> 00:57:36,210
我們別弄髒這裡

1135
00:57:36,216 --> 00:57:38,284
以前費玉青還在這表演過

1136
00:57:38,285 --> 00:57:39,381
去停車場？

1137
00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:46,255
沒事的

1138
00:57:46,927 --> 00:57:50,060
哪會沒事？他們一堆人耶！

1139
00:57:51,098 --> 00:57:52,831
走，我們也一堆人啊

1140
00:57:54,234 --> 00:57:55,694
都是豬隊友

1141
00:57:56,403 --> 00:57:58,170
都是豬隊友

1142
00:57:58,305 --> 00:58:00,573
豬排三明治？    -什麼？

1143
00:58:00,574 --> 00:58:02,205
操他媽豬排

1144
00:58:04,411 --> 00:58:05,278
別去

1145
00:58:05,279 --> 00:58:07,146
我沒有要打十個

1146
00:58:07,147 --> 00:58:08,981
所以你必須先挨一拳

1147
00:58:08,982 --> 00:58:09,873
什麼？

1148
00:58:09,883 --> 00:58:11,411
好，他先上

1149
00:58:12,152 --> 00:58:13,043
青菜啦

1150
00:58:14,321 --> 00:58:15,918
喜不喜歡啊，白小子？

1151
00:58:15,922 --> 00:58:17,323
你什麼毛病啊？

1152
00:58:17,324 --> 00:58:19,358
安怎？你要排下一個嗎？

1153
00:58:19,359 --> 00:58:22,992
唉唷，下一個不是我嗎？

1154
00:58:38,178 --> 00:58:41,447
跟他道歉，你嘲笑他是同性戀

1155
00:58:42,516 --> 00:58:44,950
對不起，我嘲笑你是同性戀

1156
00:58:44,951 --> 00:58:47,353
告訴他，雖然你是護家盟的

1157
00:58:47,354 --> 00:58:48,654
但是你現在學會了

1158
00:58:48,655 --> 00:58:51,791
不能靠性向斷定一個人

1159
00:58:51,792 --> 00:58:54,827
如果哪天你必須搞同性戀

1160
00:58:54,828 --> 00:58:57,196
像是要無姦道臥底之類的

1161
00:58:57,197 --> 00:58:58,828
你一定會找他

1162
00:58:59,166 --> 00:59:00,160
你說啥？

1163
00:59:01,201 --> 00:59:02,126
快說

1164
00:59:03,170 --> 00:59:09,141
如果哪天我為了臥底要搞同性戀

1165
00:59:09,142 --> 00:59:11,467
我一定找你

1166
00:59:13,814 --> 00:59:16,015
我接受道歉

1167
00:59:16,016 --> 00:59:17,374
好啦

1168
00:59:18,418 --> 00:59:21,016
在我右手解除封印前快滾

1169
00:59:24,424 --> 00:59:25,691
給我記住

1170
00:59:28,295 --> 00:59:31,189
嚇屎我惹，帶你的小馬子快滾

1171
00:59:31,765 --> 00:59:33,032
我們走

1172
00:59:37,337 --> 00:59:40,740
真可惜，莉諾吐得滿身都是

1173
00:59:40,741 --> 00:59:43,032
不然我一定幹死她

1174
00:59:43,543 --> 00:59:44,537
是啊

1175
00:59:45,178 --> 00:59:48,748
如果只是弄髒前面還是可以打炮

1176
00:59:48,749 --> 00:59:50,516
但是連背後都是嘔吐物

1177
00:59:50,517 --> 00:59:52,375
我會覺得不好意思

1178
00:59:53,387 --> 00:59:55,018
你還知道見笑喔？

1179
00:59:56,223 --> 00:59:58,724
我很欣賞你挨那拳

1180
00:59:58,725 --> 01:00:01,493
有時候人得先挨一拳

1181
01:00:02,129 --> 01:00:04,488
之後的路才會走得順

1182
01:00:08,935 --> 01:00:10,536
這個刺青

1183
01:00:10,537 --> 01:00:13,032
你的刀上也有刻，是什麼意思？

1184
01:00:15,709 --> 01:00:18,034
要吹晚安曲了，菜鳥兵

1185
01:00:18,044 --> 01:00:21,541
最好別偷偷溜去女生宿舍

1186
01:00:21,581 --> 01:00:22,575
晚安

1187
01:00:22,749 --> 01:00:23,572
晚安

1188
01:00:28,488 --> 01:00:32,383
明天我和夏蒂雅會找地方去

1189
01:00:32,592 --> 01:00:35,520
盡量讓你和莉諾獨處

1190
01:00:39,733 --> 01:00:42,034
我覺得我們好像是電燈泡

1191
01:00:42,035 --> 01:00:43,063
是嗎？

1192
01:00:43,770 --> 01:00:45,002
絕對有辦法…

1193
01:00:45,439 --> 01:00:48,333
靠，你脫光了？

1194
01:00:49,075 --> 01:00:50,309
人家喜歡嘛

1195
01:00:50,310 --> 01:00:51,702
靠

1196
01:00:52,379 --> 01:00:54,980
刀是我在烏干達買的

1197
01:00:54,981 --> 01:00:57,249
別再用雞雞刷我大腿

1198
01:00:57,250 --> 01:00:58,949
否則就睡地上

1199
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:01,279
晚安

1200
01:01:02,789 --> 01:01:03,817
晚安

1201
01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:17,432
傑森

1202
01:01:19,051 --> 01:01:21,144
恁娘咧！天啊！

1203
01:01:27,037 --> 01:01:29,405
這些人幹嘛把樹都砍掉？

1204
01:01:29,406 --> 01:01:33,142
這邊要蓋湯姆熊

1205
01:01:33,143 --> 01:01:36,512
有電玩和雷射槍之類的那種

1206
01:01:36,513 --> 01:01:37,837
雷射槍？

1207
01:01:37,947 --> 01:01:39,148
我超愛玩的

1208
01:01:39,149 --> 01:01:40,015
什麼時候開幕？

1209
01:01:40,016 --> 01:01:41,050
夠了，謝謝

1210
01:01:41,051 --> 01:01:41,884
夏蒂雅

1211
01:01:41,885 --> 01:01:42,598
你好，葛利茲

1212
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:43,886
天啊

1213
01:01:43,887 --> 01:01:46,288
你去波士頓集會的照片真漂亮

1214
01:01:46,289 --> 01:01:47,156
謝謝你

1215
01:01:47,157 --> 01:01:48,357
不客氣

1216
01:01:48,358 --> 01:01:49,852
這哈克袋不錯

1217
01:01:50,093 --> 01:01:52,561
不是哈克袋，那是品牌名

1218
01:01:52,562 --> 01:01:54,727
這是有機大麻毽子

1219
01:01:54,998 --> 01:01:57,499
玩雷射槍的人跑來這幹嘛？

1220
01:01:57,500 --> 01:01:59,501
我是夏蒂雅的朋友

1221
01:01:59,502 --> 01:02:00,669
普通朋友

1222
01:02:00,670 --> 01:02:02,538
那個好酷，是新體操的嗎？

1223
01:02:02,539 --> 01:02:04,466
靠！

1224
01:02:05,308 --> 01:02:07,473
舞蹈用的

1225
01:02:07,644 --> 01:02:08,877
笑死人了

1226
01:02:08,878 --> 01:02:11,373
這是四吋的壓克力雜耍球

1227
01:02:11,548 --> 01:02:12,188
傻屌

1228
01:02:12,189 --> 01:02:15,250
我們下週末見

1229
01:02:15,251 --> 01:02:15,891
沒問題

1230
01:02:15,892 --> 01:02:17,453
好，再見

1231
01:02:17,454 --> 01:02:18,482
下週見

1232
01:02:18,922 --> 01:02:19,847
再見

1233
01:02:23,526 --> 01:02:24,622
葛利茲

1234
01:02:25,862 --> 01:02:27,857
別接，他玩雷射槍

1235
01:02:28,698 --> 01:02:30,466
他們是好人，我發誓

1236
01:02:30,467 --> 01:02:31,358
我看看

1237
01:02:32,402 --> 01:02:33,869
你跟這些「好人」要去哪？

1238
01:02:33,870 --> 01:02:37,970
我們要去海邊租一年的船

1239
01:02:38,041 --> 01:02:38,681
一整年？

1240
01:02:38,682 --> 01:02:39,634
對啊

1241
01:02:39,676 --> 01:02:40,776
去幹嘛？

1242
01:02:40,777 --> 01:02:43,978
我們要紀錄海上的天氣變化

1243
01:02:45,115 --> 01:02:47,212
你不是應該下週畢業？

1244
01:02:48,618 --> 01:02:49,441
是啊

1245
01:02:52,822 --> 01:02:55,090
感覺你似乎在逃避什麼

1246
01:02:56,392 --> 01:03:00,128
你當攝影師也犧牲了很多啊？

1247
01:03:00,630 --> 01:03:02,056
對，不過…

1248
01:03:03,767 --> 01:03:04,897
那個不一樣

1249
01:03:06,603 --> 01:03:07,801
你看

1250
01:03:13,510 --> 01:03:15,539
我討厭看自己的照片

1251
01:03:15,979 --> 01:03:17,075
為什麼？

1252
01:03:17,747 --> 01:03:18,911
你很漂亮啊

1253
01:03:21,718 --> 01:03:22,746
你看

1254
01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:38,224
嘿

1255
01:03:39,669 --> 01:03:41,129
等等，先冷靜點

1256
01:03:41,971 --> 01:03:42,611
怎麼了？

1257
01:03:42,612 --> 01:03:44,366
好，我們馬上過去

1258
01:03:45,408 --> 01:03:46,108
什麼事？

1259
01:03:46,109 --> 01:03:47,273
快走

1260
01:03:48,211 --> 01:03:49,812
人家才剛上完廁所

1261
01:03:49,813 --> 01:03:51,647
看到夜店的那些黑人

1262
01:03:51,648 --> 01:03:53,749
包圍著莉諾和理查教授

1263
01:03:53,750 --> 01:03:55,851
又是吼叫又是恐嚇

1264
01:03:55,852 --> 01:03:57,653
還綁架了他們

1265
01:03:57,654 --> 01:03:59,688
其中一個還有槍

1266
01:03:59,689 --> 01:04:00,956
知道被帶去哪嗎？

1267
01:04:00,957 --> 01:04:01,814
不知道

1268
01:04:01,825 --> 01:04:04,660
我只知道對方住蒂爾曼旅館

1269
01:04:04,661 --> 01:04:05,427
好

1270
01:04:05,428 --> 01:04:06,387
快去

1271
01:04:07,030 --> 01:04:08,456
快去    -糟糕

1272
01:04:13,570 --> 01:04:14,529
怎麼了？

1273
01:04:15,972 --> 01:04:17,432
我聞到大麻味

1274
01:04:22,178 --> 01:04:23,245
你拿個桶子幹嘛？

1275
01:04:23,246 --> 01:04:24,843
水桶他們啊！

1276
01:04:25,181 --> 01:04:27,972
好，我數到三

1277
01:04:28,384 --> 01:04:31,448
一、二、三

1278
01:04:32,121 --> 01:04:34,480
讓我再唸一次

1279
01:04:34,924 --> 01:04:37,954
鄭公、張爸

1280
01:04:39,495 --> 01:04:40,887
瓦哥柏油

1281
01:04:41,397 --> 01:04:42,425
這是什麼巫術？

1282
01:04:42,699 --> 01:04:43,966
大概是黑話

1283
01:04:44,133 --> 01:04:45,991
還有鯰魚姐！

1284
01:04:46,369 --> 01:04:49,103
PTT五吧！

1285
01:04:52,008 --> 01:04:54,003
他們來了

1286
01:04:54,277 --> 01:04:55,210
學運好玩嗎？

1287
01:04:55,211 --> 01:04:56,845
還可以

1288
01:04:56,846 --> 01:04:58,477
我拿到了大腸花

1289
01:04:59,249 --> 01:05:00,582
這位是拉馬爾

1290
01:05:00,583 --> 01:05:02,050
小克里斯、大克里斯

1291
01:05:02,051 --> 01:05:03,552
莫瑞芬葛斯汀

1292
01:05:03,553 --> 01:05:06,686
還有你們見過的泰瑞松

1293
01:05:06,890 --> 01:05:08,590
那個黑鬼真厲害

1294
01:05:08,591 --> 01:05:09,958
這個名詞到底是怎樣？

1295
01:05:09,959 --> 01:05:10,959
我到底能不能用？

1296
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,028
要我們允許你才能用

1297
01:05:13,029 --> 01:05:16,924
無論如何都千萬別用

1298
01:05:26,743 --> 01:05:28,543
這到底是怎麼回事？

1299
01:05:28,544 --> 01:05:30,112
我還以為他們要殺你

1300
01:05:30,113 --> 01:05:31,937
這是赤色黎巴嫩

1301
01:05:33,082 --> 01:05:35,450
我被派到中東時帶回來的

1302
01:05:35,451 --> 01:05:38,987
抽個兩口連你媽是誰都忘了

1303
01:05:38,988 --> 01:05:40,055
來一點

1304
01:05:40,056 --> 01:05:41,823
你竟然在抽大麻？

1305
01:05:41,991 --> 01:05:44,059
天啊，這可是入門毒品

1306
01:05:44,060 --> 01:05:46,261
入你媽的肛門啦

1307
01:05:46,262 --> 01:05:46,902
快抽

1308
01:05:46,903 --> 01:05:48,826
老迪，出發吧

1309
01:05:48,965 --> 01:05:50,960
出發吧

1310
01:05:51,267 --> 01:05:52,192
去哪？

1311
01:05:54,237 --> 01:05:56,305
一切都很順利

1312
01:05:56,306 --> 01:06:00,609
美玲傳簡訊來說她要幹整晚

1313
01:06:00,610 --> 01:06:02,945
我打給所有的麻吉

1314
01:06:02,946 --> 01:06:06,238
問你們在哪個公園打籃球

1315
01:06:06,316 --> 01:06:08,709
在場上我是麻煩人物

1316
01:06:08,918 --> 01:06:10,786
上週我亂打拿下了大三元

1317
01:06:10,787 --> 01:06:12,281
（死黑鬼）

1318
01:06:12,655 --> 01:06:14,089
我可以說嗎？

1319
01:06:14,090 --> 01:06:15,550
不行

1320
01:06:15,658 --> 01:06:16,491
快說

1321
01:06:16,492 --> 01:06:17,592
說出來

1322
01:06:17,593 --> 01:06:20,623
死黑鬼打球像是喬單

1323
01:06:23,366 --> 01:06:26,464
不敢相信今天這麼順利

1324
01:06:27,003 --> 01:06:28,704
我今晚一定要幹他

1325
01:06:28,705 --> 01:06:31,940
可以旁觀嗎？我也有點想幹他

1326
01:06:33,977 --> 01:06:35,444
我潮吹了！

1327
01:06:35,445 --> 01:06:36,611
靠北！我潮吹了！

1328
01:06:36,612 --> 01:06:38,013
你真他媽屌炸了

1329
01:06:38,014 --> 01:06:38,847
結束了，黑鬼們

1330
01:06:38,848 --> 01:06:40,615
你超屌

1331
01:06:44,654 --> 01:06:47,823
下一組是夏蒂雅和傑森

1332
01:06:47,824 --> 01:06:49,284
喔耶，換我們上場了

1333
01:06:49,926 --> 01:06:51,727
不要，我們肯定被完爆的

1334
01:06:51,728 --> 01:06:52,861
快點

1335
01:06:52,862 --> 01:06:54,196
不要    -來啦

1336
01:06:54,197 --> 01:06:56,294
贏不了的，我不要去

1337
01:06:56,699 --> 01:07:00,127
你會唱的，你的手機鈴聲捏

1338
01:07:00,470 --> 01:07:01,566
看吧

1339
01:07:02,071 --> 01:07:03,895
你不打算陪我唱嗎？

1340
01:07:04,407 --> 01:07:05,366
算了

1341
01:07:07,643 --> 01:07:08,637
嘿

1342
01:07:09,212 --> 01:07:13,004
為那些你在我身邊的時光

1343
01:07:13,016 --> 01:07:16,752
為那些你讓我領悟的真理

1344
01:07:16,753 --> 01:07:20,555
為那些你帶給我的歡笑

1345
01:07:20,556 --> 01:07:24,359
為那些你糾正我的錯誤

1346
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:28,230
為那些你替我實現的夢想

1347
01:07:28,231 --> 01:07:32,634
為那些在你身上找到的愛

1348
01:07:32,635 --> 01:07:36,905
寶貝，我永遠感激你

1349
01:07:36,906 --> 01:07:40,509
你是那個扶持我的人

1350
01:07:40,510 --> 01:07:44,679
從不讓我跌倒

1351
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:48,250
你是真正了解我的人

1352
01:07:48,251 --> 01:07:50,652
了解我的一切

1353
01:07:50,653 --> 01:07:54,656
我軟弱時，你是我的力量

1354
01:07:54,657 --> 01:07:58,360
我無法言語時，你是我聲音

1355
01:07:58,361 --> 01:08:02,064
我盲目時，你是我的雙眼

1356
01:08:02,065 --> 01:08:05,801
你看見了我心中的美

1357
01:08:05,802 --> 01:08:09,471
我無能為力時，你幫助我

1358
01:08:09,472 --> 01:08:14,342
你給予我信念，因為你相信

1359
01:08:14,343 --> 01:08:20,615
我會擁有這一切

1360
01:08:20,616 --> 01:08:21,256
厲害

1361
01:08:21,257 --> 01:08:27,250
都是因為你的愛

1362
01:08:33,229 --> 01:08:34,996
張學有

1363
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:38,800
我想說的是

1364
01:08:38,801 --> 01:08:41,970
你一個素人唱得超好聽

1365
01:08:41,971 --> 01:08:44,639
你很會唱歌但人很鳥

1366
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:46,641
要不要上來喝一杯？

1367
01:08:46,642 --> 01:08:47,642
好啊

1368
01:08:47,643 --> 01:08:51,344
順便喝喝…鮑魚汁

1369
01:08:53,049 --> 01:08:54,049
這個…肖年版

1370
01:08:54,050 --> 01:08:58,150
張學有和我要去泳池畔抽雪茄

1371
01:08:59,722 --> 01:09:01,284
待會見？    -好

1372
01:09:07,730 --> 01:09:11,466
我非常感激你的幫忙，傑森

1373
01:09:12,401 --> 01:09:14,769
孫子給爺爺最棒的禮物

1374
01:09:14,770 --> 01:09:16,605
就是讓爺爺嗝屁前

1375
01:09:16,606 --> 01:09:19,704
和女大生沒戴套來一發

1376
01:09:19,976 --> 01:09:24,406
別人家的爺爺都只要糖果

1377
01:09:27,817 --> 01:09:29,243
你怎麼了？

1378
01:09:30,987 --> 01:09:33,050
我打算取消婚禮

1379
01:09:38,027 --> 01:09:40,762
婚姻是一輩子的鳥事

1380
01:09:40,763 --> 01:09:42,462
就好像賣身一樣

1381
01:09:42,832 --> 01:09:46,659
所以應該找個有趣的另一半

1382
01:09:47,570 --> 01:09:51,135
你知道奶奶以前還種過大麻嗎？

1383
01:09:52,108 --> 01:09:52,748
真的？

1384
01:09:52,749 --> 01:09:55,843
她跟林義節一樣富有冒險精神

1385
01:09:57,446 --> 01:09:59,941
她常做些讓我驚訝的事

1386
01:10:02,351 --> 01:10:05,484
我們每五年還肛交一次

1387
01:10:07,056 --> 01:10:08,550
了不起

1388
01:10:09,725 --> 01:10:12,619
我很懷念有伴的日子

1389
01:10:15,498 --> 01:10:18,665
隱瞞事實對夏蒂雅很不公平

1390
01:10:19,368 --> 01:10:22,671
這件事從一開始就是謊言

1391
01:10:22,672 --> 01:10:24,803
她根本不知道我是誰

1392
01:10:25,575 --> 01:10:27,536
我必須告訴她實話

1393
01:10:28,211 --> 01:10:32,038
現在告訴她會有點唐突

1394
01:10:32,481 --> 01:10:34,883
信任是感情最重要的基礎

1395
01:10:34,884 --> 01:10:36,242
沒錯

1396
01:10:36,619 --> 01:10:38,318
我要從現在開始

1397
01:10:38,487 --> 01:10:41,623
不行，先等我上完莉諾

1398
01:10:41,624 --> 01:10:44,324
再告訴夏蒂雅事實

1399
01:10:44,527 --> 01:10:46,228
不行，這是詐欺

1400
01:10:46,229 --> 01:10:48,763
傑森，我是你爺爺

1401
01:10:48,764 --> 01:10:50,565
先等我上完那個大學妹

1402
01:10:50,566 --> 01:10:51,600
我現在就去說

1403
01:10:51,601 --> 01:10:57,396
傑森…

1404
01:11:00,710 --> 01:11:01,840
呵呵，安安

1405
01:11:03,846 --> 01:11:05,909
滾開，巨乳怪

1406
01:11:07,450 --> 01:11:09,184
原來是叫獸來了

1407
01:11:09,185 --> 01:11:10,619
鄉民真的很厲害

1408
01:11:10,620 --> 01:11:12,921
肉搜一下就查到好多

1409
01:11:12,922 --> 01:11:14,923
你不是真的教授

1410
01:11:14,924 --> 01:11:17,425
喔天啊，我被騙了，我哭哭

1411
01:11:17,426 --> 01:11:20,820
別急，好酒沉甕底

1412
01:11:21,731 --> 01:11:23,398
理察迪克凱利

1413
01:11:23,399 --> 01:11:26,964
美國陸軍中校

1414
01:11:27,637 --> 01:11:31,740
人稱美國魔鬼筋肉人

1415
01:11:31,741 --> 01:11:33,408
你關鍵字打什麼鬼啊？

1416
01:11:33,409 --> 01:11:37,304
幹…算了另一個更屌

1417
01:11:37,346 --> 01:11:39,981
傑森派特凱利將迎娶

1418
01:11:39,982 --> 01:11:42,317
梅芮迪絲美麗亞葛斯汀

1419
01:11:42,318 --> 01:11:46,321
3月27日週六在傑利可教堂

1420
01:11:46,322 --> 01:11:50,692
等等…就是下週六嘛

1421
01:11:50,693 --> 01:11:54,496
等等…你們倆是祖孫？

1422
01:11:54,497 --> 01:11:56,498
天啊，真是亂七八糟

1423
01:11:56,499 --> 01:11:59,768
超性感的…不對，是超亂來的

1424
01:12:02,638 --> 01:12:07,898
所以你下週末要結婚？

1425
01:12:08,344 --> 01:12:12,614
原本是，但遇見你之後…

1426
01:12:12,615 --> 01:12:14,906
天啊，別給我來這套

1427
01:12:16,519 --> 01:12:19,253
我覺得自己好蠢

1428
01:12:23,259 --> 01:12:24,859
所以你不是教授？

1429
01:12:24,860 --> 01:12:26,394
那你是攝影師嗎？

1430
01:12:26,395 --> 01:12:27,753
我是律師

1431
01:12:30,066 --> 01:12:32,493
專門幫胃硬衝辯護

1432
01:12:34,036 --> 01:12:35,270
還有騙大家食品很安全

1433
01:12:35,271 --> 01:12:36,037
我上來是想…

1434
01:12:36,038 --> 01:12:38,173
給我滾出去，傑森

1435
01:12:38,174 --> 01:12:39,074
可以聽我解釋嗎？

1436
01:12:39,075 --> 01:12:40,408
不要

1437
01:12:40,409 --> 01:12:43,576
等等…先別走，教授

1438
01:12:45,314 --> 01:12:48,950
無論如何，我還是很想幹你

1439
01:12:48,951 --> 01:12:49,951
我們一定要來一發

1440
01:12:49,952 --> 01:12:51,086
一定會

1441
01:12:51,087 --> 01:12:52,153
幹到那美克星去

1442
01:12:52,154 --> 01:12:54,522
我會讓你五顏六射

1443
01:12:54,523 --> 01:12:56,224
我會讓你小橋流水

1444
01:12:56,225 --> 01:12:58,827
鮑魚終於不乾涸

1445
01:12:58,828 --> 01:13:00,695
飢民終於有食物了

1446
01:13:00,696 --> 01:13:02,364
這一刻最浪漫的事

1447
01:13:02,365 --> 01:13:04,065
就是讓你含著我鮑魚嗝屁

1448
01:13:04,066 --> 01:13:06,167
莉諾，你太淫蕩了

1449
01:13:06,168 --> 01:13:07,202
警察

1450
01:13:07,203 --> 01:13:08,837
沒錯，條子來也

1451
01:13:08,838 --> 01:13:12,040
你們在開大麻趴嗎？

1452
01:13:12,041 --> 01:13:13,408
怎麼沒邀請我？

1453
01:13:13,409 --> 01:13:14,108
是那件外套嗎？

1454
01:13:14,109 --> 01:13:15,377
檢查右邊的口袋

1455
01:13:15,378 --> 01:13:16,444
轉過身去

1456
01:13:16,445 --> 01:13:17,746
外套是我的，不是他的

1457
01:13:17,747 --> 01:13:19,047
手貼著牆壁

1458
01:13:19,048 --> 01:13:21,049
讓我看看你藏了什麼

1459
01:13:21,050 --> 01:13:21,783
人贓俱獲

1460
01:13:21,784 --> 01:13:23,084
天啊

1461
01:13:23,085 --> 01:13:24,352
三小…那不是我的

1462
01:13:24,353 --> 01:13:25,653
三小？

1463
01:13:25,654 --> 01:13:26,421
那不是我的

1464
01:13:26,422 --> 01:13:30,592
三小？春風專案又有業績囉

1465
01:13:30,593 --> 01:13:32,360
來，去警局，帥哥

1466
01:13:32,361 --> 01:13:34,060
走吧？

1467
01:13:34,063 --> 01:13:36,131
才怪，可沒那麼簡單，走吧

1468
01:13:36,132 --> 01:13:37,532
我會等你的，爺爺

1469
01:13:37,533 --> 01:13:39,434
緊緊的等我喔

1470
01:13:39,435 --> 01:13:41,032
他就是我的天菜

1471
01:13:42,071 --> 01:13:43,571
這他媽什麼意思？

1472
01:13:43,572 --> 01:13:44,998
就這意思

1473
01:13:47,676 --> 01:13:49,967
出來囉

1474
01:13:50,546 --> 01:13:51,780
褲子上有血跡耶

1475
01:13:51,781 --> 01:13:53,615
你的駕照根本沒被吊銷

1476
01:13:53,616 --> 01:13:56,217
你豪洨我陪你過來

1477
01:13:56,218 --> 01:13:58,315
我得確保你會來

1478
01:13:58,754 --> 01:13:59,554
去你的

1479
01:13:59,555 --> 01:14:01,156
冷靜點，傑森

1480
01:14:01,157 --> 01:14:02,754
哈庫馬那他他

1481
01:14:04,393 --> 01:14:06,251
你到底是誰？

1482
01:14:06,395 --> 01:14:07,896
我早該料到你是個瘋子

1483
01:14:07,897 --> 01:14:09,431
奶奶的喪禮剛結束

1484
01:14:09,432 --> 01:14:11,566
你就開始把妹

1485
01:14:11,567 --> 01:14:12,834
少在那裡評斷我

1486
01:14:12,835 --> 01:14:15,270
你根本不懂我們倆的關係

1487
01:14:15,271 --> 01:14:18,606
這幾天我這麼做是有原因的

1488
01:14:18,607 --> 01:14:20,809
你差點就要被婚姻給毀了

1489
01:14:20,810 --> 01:14:22,477
這你心知肚明    -是嗎？

1490
01:14:22,478 --> 01:14:24,541
我他媽現在該怎麼辦？

1491
01:14:25,915 --> 01:14:29,517
倒貼一個跟我冷戰的大學妹？

1492
01:14:29,518 --> 01:14:31,286
我難道都不會為自己打算？

1493
01:14:31,287 --> 01:14:33,788
對，起碼你現在會替自己想

1494
01:14:33,789 --> 01:14:35,089
這話他媽什麼意思？

1495
01:14:35,090 --> 01:14:39,093
你的人生完全是你爸規劃的

1496
01:14:39,094 --> 01:14:41,396
梅芮迪絲只是其中的例子

1497
01:14:41,397 --> 01:14:42,997
她不適合你，傑森

1498
01:14:42,998 --> 01:14:45,600
娶了她，你就在家看乾味人蔘

1499
01:14:45,601 --> 01:14:47,469
魯洨一生！就像你爸一樣

1500
01:14:47,470 --> 01:14:49,771
我已經對人生很不滿了

1501
01:14:49,772 --> 01:14:53,208
因為全都被你

1502
01:14:53,209 --> 01:14:55,677
還有你惹來的麻煩給毀了

1503
01:14:55,678 --> 01:14:59,547
惹麻煩不是為了我，是為了你

1504
01:14:59,548 --> 01:15:01,115
怎麼會是為了我？

1505
01:15:01,116 --> 01:15:02,317
我是個失敗的父親

1506
01:15:02,318 --> 01:15:03,618
我沒時間養育你爸

1507
01:15:03,619 --> 01:15:06,154
結果他變得唯利是圖、怕老婆

1508
01:15:06,155 --> 01:15:08,756
又惹人厭的勢利眼

1509
01:15:08,757 --> 01:15:10,525
我不想你變成那樣

1510
01:15:10,526 --> 01:15:13,090
原來是為了這個

1511
01:15:14,897 --> 01:15:17,722
你只是不想讓自己太內疚

1512
01:15:23,138 --> 01:15:25,240
恭喜你，爺爺

1513
01:15:25,241 --> 01:15:27,406
你以為你只是個失敗的爸爸嗎？

1514
01:15:29,011 --> 01:15:30,869
你還是個機掰的爺爺

1515
01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:35,683
不准參加我的婚禮

1516
01:15:36,652 --> 01:15:38,283
離我遠一點

1517
01:16:00,843 --> 01:16:03,907
（亞特蘭大）

1518
01:16:35,077 --> 01:16:40,747
老公，婚宴會館淡綠色紙巾不夠

1519
01:16:40,849 --> 01:16:43,284
你喜歡哪種紙巾？

1520
01:16:43,285 --> 01:16:46,884
海洋色還是開心果色？

1521
01:16:48,390 --> 01:16:49,520
我來開

1522
01:17:02,071 --> 01:17:04,931
（想想大學妹，爺爺）

1523
01:17:04,974 --> 01:17:06,434
什麼事？

1524
01:17:06,542 --> 01:17:09,677
又有人送結婚禮物

1525
01:17:09,678 --> 01:17:13,971
希望是貴婦百貨賣的湯匙

1526
01:17:14,817 --> 01:17:18,883
（衛生紙是擦過三號的）

1527
01:17:24,026 --> 01:17:29,093
獻給梅芮迪絲和傑森

1528
01:17:29,098 --> 01:17:31,132
以及各位給他們的愛

1529
01:17:31,133 --> 01:17:33,234
我無法體會因為我第一次打槍時

1530
01:17:33,235 --> 01:17:34,669
我的狗就掛了

1531
01:17:34,670 --> 01:17:36,304
所以我硬不起來，除非…

1532
01:17:36,305 --> 01:17:37,138
行了

1533
01:17:37,139 --> 01:17:39,841
我們還要制止伊斯蘭國

1534
01:17:39,842 --> 01:17:41,803
他們太超過了

1535
01:17:43,612 --> 01:17:45,106
我沒問題

1536
01:17:45,314 --> 01:17:52,520
今天要慶祝新人共結連理

1537
01:17:52,521 --> 01:17:54,656
還有兩個家族的結合

1538
01:17:54,657 --> 01:17:55,299
梅芮迪絲

1539
01:17:55,300 --> 01:17:57,990
凱利和葛斯汀兩個家族

1540
01:17:58,794 --> 01:18:02,427
請新人上台分享他們的故事

1541
01:18:06,835 --> 01:18:09,126
水喔，大衛叔叔

1542
01:18:15,944 --> 01:18:19,881
為那些你在我身邊的時光

1543
01:18:19,882 --> 01:18:23,985
為那些你讓我領悟的真理

1544
01:18:23,986 --> 01:18:28,523
為那些你帶給我的歡笑

1545
01:18:28,524 --> 01:18:31,759
為那些你糾正我的錯誤

1546
01:18:31,760 --> 01:18:36,097
為那些你替我實現的夢想

1547
01:18:36,098 --> 01:18:40,501
為那些在你身上找到的愛

1548
01:18:40,502 --> 01:18:45,339
寶貝，我永遠感激你

1549
01:18:45,340 --> 01:18:49,377
你是那個扶持我的人

1550
01:18:49,378 --> 01:18:53,671
從不讓我跌倒

1551
01:18:54,349 --> 01:18:56,139
尻爆他們吧

1552
01:19:05,894 --> 01:19:07,195
電腦被駭了

1553
01:19:07,196 --> 01:19:10,064
我軟弱時，你是我的力量

1554
01:19:10,065 --> 01:19:11,866
你是我聲音

1555
01:19:11,867 --> 01:19:13,801
我無法言語時

1556
01:19:13,802 --> 01:19:17,872
我盲目時，你是我的雙眼

1557
01:19:17,873 --> 01:19:21,743
你看見了我心中的美

1558
01:19:21,744 --> 01:19:26,708
我無能為力時，你幫助我

1559
01:19:30,786 --> 01:19:34,122
我會擁有這一切

1560
01:19:34,123 --> 01:19:37,625
都是因為你的愛

1561
01:19:37,626 --> 01:19:39,553
都是因為你的愛

1562
01:19:54,243 --> 01:19:55,874
林老師咧

1563
01:19:58,046 --> 01:20:00,246
我們去迪士尼玩的照片咧

1564
01:20:01,150 --> 01:20:02,382
傑森

1565
01:20:04,319 --> 01:20:05,253
快關掉

1566
01:20:05,254 --> 01:20:06,454
遵命女大王

1567
01:20:06,455 --> 01:20:07,321
開著吧

1568
01:20:07,322 --> 01:20:09,090
別鳥他

1569
01:20:09,091 --> 01:20:10,824
我有話要說

1570
01:20:13,629 --> 01:20:17,465
一向都是別人在告訴我

1571
01:20:17,466 --> 01:20:19,834
我的人生該怎麼過

1572
01:20:19,835 --> 01:20:22,270
我爺爺講了件很有趣的事

1573
01:20:22,271 --> 01:20:24,402
好，把麥切掉，我們上去

1574
01:20:30,746 --> 01:20:31,386
麥沒聲音

1575
01:20:31,387 --> 01:20:32,880
傑森，你的麥沒聲音

1576
01:20:32,881 --> 01:20:33,681
什麼？

1577
01:20:33,682 --> 01:20:34,348
你的麥沒聲音

1578
01:20:34,349 --> 01:20:35,856
你像乾味人蔘在高潮時進廣告

1579
01:20:35,857 --> 01:20:37,084
所以我們不知道

1580
01:20:37,085 --> 01:20:39,512
你幹嘛不把那些照片關掉

1581
01:20:40,022 --> 01:20:43,424
你再敲也不會變出兔子啦

1582
01:20:43,425 --> 01:20:44,589
衝三小？

1583
01:20:45,460 --> 01:20:47,421
尼克，可以替我傳話給她嗎？

1584
01:20:47,896 --> 01:20:49,993
麻煩告訴她

1585
01:20:51,633 --> 01:20:55,970
我很抱歉，但我沒辦法娶她

1586
01:20:55,971 --> 01:20:59,069
你要我打前鋒嗎？

1587
01:21:01,109 --> 01:21:02,510
拉莫叔叔

1588
01:21:02,511 --> 01:21:03,711
麻煩告訴梅芮迪絲

1589
01:21:03,712 --> 01:21:07,004
傑森說很抱歉，不能娶她

1590
01:21:09,785 --> 01:21:11,677
操

1591
01:21:12,921 --> 01:21:14,655
我忘了拉莫叔叔聽不到

1592
01:21:14,656 --> 01:21:16,753
我還一直跟他喇叭嘴

1593
01:21:18,193 --> 01:21:19,517
魯本叔叔

1594
01:21:19,595 --> 01:21:20,795
麻煩告訴梅芮迪絲

1595
01:21:20,796 --> 01:21:24,361
傑森說很抱歉，不能娶她

1596
01:21:26,802 --> 01:21:31,839
他說他很抱歉，但他沒辦法娶你

1597
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:35,343
魯本叔叔，可以調大聲點嗎？

1598
01:21:35,344 --> 01:21:38,045
已經是最大聲了

1599
01:21:38,046 --> 01:21:40,109
你這爛貨是50元商店買的嗎？

1600
01:21:41,283 --> 01:21:45,713
再沒有正常人我剉尿給你看喔

1601
01:21:46,421 --> 01:21:47,388
服務生

1602
01:21:47,389 --> 01:21:48,986
嘿，阿三

1603
01:21:50,292 --> 01:21:52,727
麻煩你告訴梅芮迪絲

1604
01:21:52,728 --> 01:21:54,195
我堂哥傑森說很抱歉

1605
01:21:54,196 --> 01:21:56,191
但他沒辦法娶她

1606
01:21:57,232 --> 01:21:58,933
大哥賣啦，我第一天上班捏

1607
01:21:58,934 --> 01:21:59,901
你沒當過兵嗎？

1608
01:21:59,902 --> 01:22:02,397
菜鳥就要認命

1609
01:22:02,871 --> 01:22:04,069
好吧

1610
01:22:07,075 --> 01:22:08,376
我長話短說

1611
01:22:08,377 --> 01:22:11,669
他叫我來…要我跟你說

1612
01:22:13,315 --> 01:22:16,345
他認為他沒辦法娶你

1613
01:22:17,953 --> 01:22:20,153
他說很抱歉，他辦不到

1614
01:22:25,394 --> 01:22:28,396
這個時候只要笑就可以了

1615
01:22:28,397 --> 01:22:29,797
笑死你老娘了

1616
01:22:29,798 --> 01:22:32,430
你回去告訴他

1617
01:22:32,901 --> 01:22:36,170
他不在時我還上了他堂弟尼克咧

1618
01:22:37,239 --> 01:22:39,439
她整個超OK的

1619
01:22:39,574 --> 01:22:43,611
她說「去吧！做你自己」

1620
01:22:43,612 --> 01:22:44,412
她這樣說？

1621
01:22:44,413 --> 01:22:46,547
我一個字都沒有改

1622
01:22:46,548 --> 01:22:47,815
我去跟她道個別吧

1623
01:22:47,816 --> 01:22:49,350
操，不用講了

1624
01:22:49,351 --> 01:22:49,991
不用？

1625
01:22:49,992 --> 01:22:50,952
對，沒有必要

1626
01:22:50,953 --> 01:22:55,121
快去吧，我們沒問題的

1627
01:22:55,624 --> 01:22:57,291
等等，他給老娘去哪？

1628
01:22:57,292 --> 01:23:00,254
傑森…

1629
01:23:10,772 --> 01:23:13,768
騎機車的那個才是駭客

1630
01:23:14,509 --> 01:23:17,437
國防部廂型車都壞了

1631
01:23:18,380 --> 01:23:20,147
如果你把相機退回來

1632
01:23:20,148 --> 01:23:22,575
我就會採取激烈手段

1633
01:23:22,617 --> 01:23:24,051
上了嗎？要拍肩膀了嗎？

1634
01:23:24,052 --> 01:23:26,787
B計劃，讓潘阿綁架你

1635
01:23:26,788 --> 01:23:28,282
我要把她追回來

1636
01:23:28,590 --> 01:23:29,991
需要我綁架她嗎？

1637
01:23:29,992 --> 01:23:32,126
還附帶裝箱服務喔

1638
01:23:32,127 --> 01:23:35,296
她搭巴士沿85號公路往西走

1639
01:23:35,297 --> 01:23:37,398
船四小時內會走

1640
01:23:37,399 --> 01:23:38,399
我在中東學會很多技巧

1641
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,167
所以要找她很容易

1642
01:23:40,168 --> 01:23:41,002
但我當年都不敢玩69

1643
01:23:41,003 --> 01:23:42,937
因為警總都在偷看

1644
01:23:42,938 --> 01:23:45,001
跟她玩69

1645
01:23:45,340 --> 01:23:47,232
弄到她喊卯死啊

1646
01:23:47,309 --> 01:23:49,143
開玩笑嗎？你開這種車？

1647
01:23:49,144 --> 01:23:52,313
開冰淇淋車賣小孩藥才容易

1648
01:23:52,314 --> 01:23:53,547
潮爽der

1649
01:23:53,548 --> 01:23:54,815
傑森

1650
01:23:55,017 --> 01:23:56,050
傑森    -快走

1651
01:23:56,051 --> 01:23:59,912
傑森，立刻停車，停車

1652
01:23:59,955 --> 01:24:02,857
你要是敢走就別回事務所上班

1653
01:24:02,858 --> 01:24:05,626
大衛，滾去旁邊玩雞雞

1654
01:24:07,062 --> 01:24:08,522
別走

1655
01:24:08,663 --> 01:24:09,330
現在是怎樣？

1656
01:24:09,331 --> 01:24:12,066
沒有要買冰淇淋或海洛因

1657
01:24:12,067 --> 01:24:13,768
就不准上我的車

1658
01:24:13,769 --> 01:24:14,769
這個街友是誰？

1659
01:24:14,770 --> 01:24:17,638
街友？麻煩叫我潘頭家

1660
01:24:17,639 --> 01:24:19,540
郭董看到我都喊大哥

1661
01:24:19,541 --> 01:24:21,741
我手上有電擊槍

1662
01:24:21,977 --> 01:24:23,210
靠

1663
01:24:23,211 --> 01:24:23,911
要停嗎？

1664
01:24:23,912 --> 01:24:24,552
你怎麼…

1665
01:24:24,553 --> 01:24:25,898
我快要去了等等

1666
01:24:25,899 --> 01:24:27,378
靠，好吧

1667
01:24:29,918 --> 01:24:32,209
有勃起的人舉手

1668
01:24:33,922 --> 01:24:36,520
不然怎麼辦？把他隨便扔街上？

1669
01:24:37,526 --> 01:24:38,793
可以開慢點嗎？

1670
01:24:38,794 --> 01:24:40,795
這樣很難畫耶

1671
01:24:40,796 --> 01:24:43,764
哇靠，原來上次畫雞雞的人是你

1672
01:24:43,765 --> 01:24:46,267
對，是我畫的，被逮到了

1673
01:24:46,268 --> 01:24:47,401
慘了

1674
01:24:47,402 --> 01:24:49,136
別擔心，起來，我們走別條

1675
01:24:49,137 --> 01:24:49,777
什麼？

1676
01:24:49,778 --> 01:24:51,361
你帶路，我開車

1677
01:24:56,111 --> 01:24:57,844
小心

1678
01:24:58,213 --> 01:24:59,775
阿公衝三小？

1679
01:25:06,755 --> 01:25:08,055
（歡迎蒞臨佛羅里達）

1680
01:25:08,056 --> 01:25:10,256
這是飯店水床嗎？

1681
01:25:12,694 --> 01:25:13,427
又有業績了

1682
01:25:13,428 --> 01:25:15,218
開始行動

1683
01:25:20,702 --> 01:25:22,970
媽的，得減輕車的重量

1684
01:25:22,971 --> 01:25:25,239
潘阿，請他們吃芭樂

1685
01:25:25,373 --> 01:25:27,041
你看，是潘阿

1686
01:25:27,042 --> 01:25:29,037
他人超好的唷

1687
01:25:29,578 --> 01:25:32,369
嘿，小金、蓋瑞

1688
01:25:34,716 --> 01:25:37,143
你是去哪學這樣開車的？

1689
01:25:37,652 --> 01:25:39,715
靠北，爺爺，告訴他啦

1690
01:25:40,822 --> 01:25:42,857
我以前在特種部隊

1691
01:25:42,858 --> 01:25:45,292
負責在敵營訓練反抗軍

1692
01:25:45,293 --> 01:25:47,220
修坦克只是個幌子

1693
01:25:47,462 --> 01:25:49,389
很好，我們和解了

1694
01:25:49,831 --> 01:25:52,725
看到他們了，衝衝衝

1695
01:25:55,504 --> 01:25:56,504
夏蒂雅

1696
01:25:56,505 --> 01:25:57,738
傑森？

1697
01:25:57,739 --> 01:26:00,107
快停車，我有話跟你講

1698
01:26:00,108 --> 01:26:01,308
你怎麼跑來了？

1699
01:26:01,309 --> 01:26:02,676
還搭冰淇淋車？    -快停車

1700
01:26:02,677 --> 01:26:03,317
好

1701
01:26:03,318 --> 01:26:04,512
停車

1702
01:26:04,513 --> 01:26:06,647
停機三十天啦！

1703
01:26:06,648 --> 01:26:09,450
呷賽啦，潘阿，臭抓耙子

1704
01:26:09,451 --> 01:26:12,119
什麼？我才不是抓耙子，貝瑞

1705
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:12,887
操你媽的

1706
01:26:12,888 --> 01:26:14,221
潘阿，你認識他？

1707
01:26:14,222 --> 01:26:16,090
貝瑞？他是我最好的麻吉

1708
01:26:16,091 --> 01:26:18,757
我賣了他六噸搖頭丸

1709
01:26:18,994 --> 01:26:20,961
喔喔，難怪他們不停車

1710
01:26:20,962 --> 01:26:23,093
上面全是毒品

1711
01:26:23,965 --> 01:26:24,798
潘阿第一名

1712
01:26:24,799 --> 01:26:26,534
我認識他    -停車

1713
01:26:26,535 --> 01:26:28,803
傑森，你要去哪？

1714
01:26:28,870 --> 01:26:30,137
你要幹什麼？

1715
01:26:31,173 --> 01:26:32,497
他們怎麼…

1716
01:26:44,452 --> 01:26:45,719
你最好給我娶她

1717
01:26:45,720 --> 01:26:48,955
我？不是我的菜，瘦得像竹竿

1718
01:26:58,466 --> 01:27:00,233
媽祖婆啊…

1719
01:27:00,802 --> 01:27:02,467
快剎車，天啊

1720
01:27:06,808 --> 01:27:08,473
快剎車啊

1721
01:27:16,251 --> 01:27:17,251
快

1722
01:27:17,252 --> 01:27:18,883
快去找她

1723
01:27:19,754 --> 01:27:21,889
搞什麼鬼？你們幹嘛？

1724
01:27:21,890 --> 01:27:23,691
我也搞不清楚

1725
01:27:23,692 --> 01:27:25,357
但是我不結婚了

1726
01:27:25,427 --> 01:27:29,830
是喔…那代表你就可以騙我？

1727
01:27:29,831 --> 01:27:31,325
當然不是

1728
01:27:31,499 --> 01:27:32,166
但是你得承認

1729
01:27:32,167 --> 01:27:34,768
我們在一起的感覺很開心

1730
01:27:34,769 --> 01:27:36,502
那感覺不會騙人的

1731
01:27:37,405 --> 01:27:38,729
對

1732
01:27:41,176 --> 01:27:42,875
你找我要做什麼？

1733
01:27:44,646 --> 01:27:46,072
我要你留下來

1734
01:27:50,552 --> 01:27:53,150
辦不到

1735
01:27:55,457 --> 01:27:56,519
好

1736
01:27:57,959 --> 01:27:59,157
我明白了

1737
01:28:00,795 --> 01:28:01,823
好吧

1738
01:28:07,769 --> 01:28:09,400
或者我跟你走？

1739
01:28:11,273 --> 01:28:12,403
跟…

1740
01:28:14,209 --> 01:28:14,975
真的嗎？

1741
01:28:14,976 --> 01:28:16,174
我是說…

1742
01:28:17,112 --> 01:28:19,880
我剛和未婚妻分手

1743
01:28:19,948 --> 01:28:21,613
丟了工作

1744
01:28:21,650 --> 01:28:23,017
順便還被警察通緝

1745
01:28:23,018 --> 01:28:26,378
不在海上深造一年

1746
01:28:28,290 --> 01:28:30,581
難道要玩GTA嗎？

1747
01:28:33,094 --> 01:28:34,190
好啊

1748
01:28:47,042 --> 01:28:48,642
快分開，蕾絲邊

1749
01:28:48,643 --> 01:28:49,677
趴在地上

1750
01:28:49,678 --> 01:28:51,812
我們最討厭蕾絲邊

1751
01:28:51,813 --> 01:28:53,647
給我趴在地上

1752
01:28:53,648 --> 01:28:57,318
依據州際法律第17章37條

1753
01:28:57,319 --> 01:28:59,920
在州際公路上進行逮捕

1754
01:28:59,921 --> 01:29:01,522
必須由州警來執行

1755
01:29:01,523 --> 01:29:05,326
你們市警局沒有這個權限

1756
01:29:05,327 --> 01:29:08,729
你很熟遛鳥全書嘛

1757
01:29:08,730 --> 01:29:12,800
看來是位法屌急先鋒

1758
01:29:12,801 --> 01:29:14,868
你臉上畫了一堆雞雞，屌面人

1759
01:29:14,869 --> 01:29:17,371
你瞧瞧，滿臉的雞雞

1760
01:29:17,372 --> 01:29:19,740
中間那根是我的，你看

1761
01:29:19,741 --> 01:29:20,674
我放他臉上描的

1762
01:29:20,675 --> 01:29:22,309
難怪那麼眼熟

1763
01:29:22,310 --> 01:29:24,745
別喇賽啦，放了我朋友吧

1764
01:29:24,746 --> 01:29:27,214
他們又沒犯什麼錯

1765
01:29:27,215 --> 01:29:29,850
潘阿，他們妨礙司法

1766
01:29:29,851 --> 01:29:31,652
還犯了公眾危險罪

1767
01:29:31,653 --> 01:29:33,887
我瞭，而且巴士上還都是毒品…

1768
01:29:33,888 --> 01:29:35,522
說到這個，我得閃人了

1769
01:29:35,523 --> 01:29:38,058
今天有三公斤的「飛盤」會送來

1770
01:29:38,059 --> 01:29:40,761
所以我得回去，可以嗎大大？

1771
01:29:40,762 --> 01:29:42,696
開我的警車去吧

1772
01:29:42,697 --> 01:29:44,365
好主意，把鑰匙給他

1773
01:29:44,366 --> 01:29:45,833
你在找這個嗎？

1774
01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:46,998
原來在那啊

1775
01:29:48,970 --> 01:29:49,670
潘阿第一名

1776
01:29:49,671 --> 01:29:50,871
潘阿第一名

1777
01:29:50,872 --> 01:29:52,005
我們去買午餐吧？

1778
01:29:52,006 --> 01:29:53,295
太好了

1779
01:29:54,843 --> 01:29:56,974
回頭見

1780
01:29:57,846 --> 01:30:02,082
我打算跟她走

1781
01:30:04,085 --> 01:30:05,647
對，你應該去

1782
01:30:05,887 --> 01:30:07,711
她看起來是個好人

1783
01:30:09,324 --> 01:30:13,026
看來我們只能原車回去了

1784
01:30:13,027 --> 01:30:17,320
所以我得把這些雞雞擦掉

1785
01:30:17,332 --> 01:30:19,065
然後發動卡車

1786
01:30:21,703 --> 01:30:22,770
等我一下

1787
01:30:22,771 --> 01:30:23,730
好

1788
01:30:32,013 --> 01:30:33,177
爺爺

1789
01:30:34,249 --> 01:30:35,249
謝謝你

1790
01:30:35,250 --> 01:30:36,450
別給我來這套

1791
01:30:36,451 --> 01:30:38,285
回來時跟我講一聲

1792
01:30:38,286 --> 01:30:41,555
我想在時代雜誌上看到你的作品

1793
01:30:42,223 --> 01:30:45,424
這台相機花了我三個月的退休金

1794
01:30:58,807 --> 01:31:00,074
謝謝，爺爺

1795
01:31:01,509 --> 01:31:04,004
還有，傑森

1796
01:31:04,946 --> 01:31:06,008
什麼事？

1797
01:31:07,415 --> 01:31:08,649
古早以前

1798
01:31:08,650 --> 01:31:12,215
窯明常常去金錢豹玩

1799
01:31:12,987 --> 01:31:15,823
他喜歡讓五個女生疊在一起

1800
01:31:15,824 --> 01:31:18,158
然後用五根手指同時玩她們

1801
01:31:18,159 --> 01:31:20,086
因為他的手超大的

1802
01:31:25,266 --> 01:31:26,396
我講完了

1803
01:31:31,473 --> 01:31:32,899
多謝喔，爺爺

1804
01:31:33,842 --> 01:31:35,734
我的刺青

1805
01:31:37,145 --> 01:31:39,174
是特種部隊的座右銘

1806
01:31:40,482 --> 01:31:42,750
就是「解救受壓迫的人民」

1807
01:31:57,131 --> 01:31:57,831
可以走了嗎？

1808
01:31:57,832 --> 01:31:58,826
可以

1809
01:32:17,452 --> 01:32:19,219
多謝你載我一程

1810
01:32:21,456 --> 01:32:23,155
你不會有事吧？

1811
01:32:25,159 --> 01:32:26,448
我好想她

1812
01:32:28,796 --> 01:32:30,324
不過我會釋懷的

1813
01:32:34,335 --> 01:32:36,626
我是失職的父親，對不起

1814
01:32:38,706 --> 01:32:40,439
我們一起努力

1815
01:32:56,958 --> 01:32:59,658
你真是有夠難找，叫獸

1816
01:33:02,897 --> 01:33:04,264
那是我的褲子嗎？

1817
01:33:04,265 --> 01:33:06,032
沒錯，是你的

1818
01:33:06,167 --> 01:33:08,068
我在口袋裡找到一包糖果

1819
01:33:08,069 --> 01:33:10,269
我含了一整個早上

1820
01:33:10,772 --> 01:33:13,373
你知道我不是教授，對吧？

1821
01:33:13,374 --> 01:33:14,663
我知道

1822
01:33:15,043 --> 01:33:17,709
你只是個讓我喊歐買尬的阿公

1823
01:33:17,712 --> 01:33:20,380
我是來自長島的女生

1824
01:33:20,381 --> 01:33:22,410
最喜歡幹阿公

1825
01:33:23,318 --> 01:33:25,586
我喜歡你的抽拉式沙發床

1826
01:33:25,787 --> 01:33:28,282
我先下集預告一下

1827
01:33:28,323 --> 01:33:31,421
今晚會抽出來的只有這張床

1828
01:33:31,659 --> 01:33:33,358
等我一下

1829
01:33:50,211 --> 01:33:51,409
嘿

1830
01:33:51,980 --> 01:33:53,542
聽我說

1831
01:33:54,015 --> 01:33:55,949
抱歉，我不確定我還行不行

1832
01:33:55,950 --> 01:33:58,218
我已經很久沒做了

1833
01:34:16,804 --> 01:34:19,937
糟糕，咻一下就滑掉了

1834
01:34:20,842 --> 01:34:24,475
我要你像做體檢一樣扯掉我的胸罩

1835
01:34:35,256 --> 01:34:37,457
說你跌倒了爬不起來

1836
01:34:37,458 --> 01:34:40,160
救命，我跌倒了爬不起來

1837
01:34:40,161 --> 01:34:41,257
糟了

1838
01:34:42,697 --> 01:34:45,732
到處摸假裝在找老花眼鏡

1839
01:34:45,733 --> 01:34:48,627
我在找我的眼鏡，我看不見

1840
01:34:49,470 --> 01:34:50,896
找到了

1841
01:34:50,972 --> 01:34:53,570
我看見飛碟啦！媽祖婆

1842
01:34:54,042 --> 01:34:56,606
說現在是四點，你要吃晚餐

1843
01:34:56,644 --> 01:34:58,345
四點了，我要吃晚餐

1844
01:34:58,346 --> 01:35:00,047
說遙控器的鈕太小了

1845
01:35:00,048 --> 01:35:02,349
你找不到忠天新聞

1846
01:35:02,350 --> 01:35:04,217
遙控器的鈕太小了

1847
01:35:04,218 --> 01:35:06,086
我找不到忠天新聞

1848
01:35:06,087 --> 01:35:07,320
告訴我有多小

1849
01:35:07,321 --> 01:35:08,188
非常的小

1850
01:35:08,189 --> 01:35:10,057
說以前的治安比較好

1851
01:35:10,058 --> 01:35:11,758
以前的治安比較好

1852
01:35:11,759 --> 01:35:14,027
說蔣精國棒多了

1853
01:35:14,028 --> 01:35:16,296
蔣精國棒多了

1854
01:35:16,297 --> 01:35:21,057
小蔣萬歲…

1855
01:35:28,376 --> 01:35:29,843
你是快射了還是快掛了？

1856
01:35:29,844 --> 01:35:32,874
不確定，可能兩個都有

1857
01:35:43,424 --> 01:35:46,693
「死既是因一人而來」

1858
01:35:49,230 --> 01:35:53,091
「復活也是因一人而來」

1859
01:35:54,202 --> 01:35:56,902
理查凱利二世

1860
01:35:57,338 --> 01:36:00,240
恭喜這個孩子的教父母

1861
01:36:00,241 --> 01:36:02,441
傑森與夏蒂雅

1862
01:36:06,214 --> 01:36:07,781
去找媽媽吧

1863
01:36:07,782 --> 01:36:09,216
受洗完了

1864
01:36:09,217 --> 01:36:11,542
你真是神人，爺爺

1865
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:14,183
72歲還當爸爸

1866
01:36:14,388 --> 01:36:15,122
真他媽好主意

1867
01:36:15,123 --> 01:36:16,890
嘴巴放乾淨點

1868
01:36:16,891 --> 01:36:17,824
天啊，抱歉

1869
01:36:17,825 --> 01:36:19,092
對，注意一下用詞

1870
01:36:19,093 --> 01:36:21,094
對新奶奶講話客氣點

1871
01:36:21,095 --> 01:36:21,795
對不起，老婆

1872
01:36:21,796 --> 01:36:22,985
沒關係

1873
01:36:23,264 --> 01:36:25,699
乖孫，來看看我們會死嗎？

1874
01:36:25,700 --> 01:36:27,126
很久沒見了

1875
01:36:27,368 --> 01:36:28,902
對不起，奶奶

1876
01:36:28,903 --> 01:36:29,569
先去開車吧

1877
01:36:29,570 --> 01:36:32,572
好，我把休旅車開過來

1878
01:36:32,573 --> 01:36:34,074
給爸爸抱抱

1879
01:36:34,075 --> 01:36:37,538
乖，來爸爸這

1880
01:36:38,479 --> 01:36:40,041
感覺挺怪的

1881
01:36:41,048 --> 01:36:42,747
她成了我奶奶

1882
01:36:45,186 --> 01:36:46,783
你成了我叔叔

1883
01:36:48,756 --> 01:36:49,818
你看

1884
01:36:49,824 --> 01:36:51,324
哇靠

1885
01:36:51,325 --> 01:36:52,092
這真的好棒棒

1886
01:36:52,093 --> 01:36:53,527
天啊，快蓋起來

1887
01:36:53,528 --> 01:36:54,954
跟我們的一樣

1888
01:36:55,263 --> 01:36:57,292
還好不像他的

1889
01:36:59,500 --> 01:37:01,268
幫我拿奶瓶好嗎？

1890
01:37:01,269 --> 01:37:02,900
好

1891
01:37:07,141 --> 01:37:08,738
千年殺！

1892
01:37:10,812 --> 01:37:17,051
譯稿改編：魯蛋叔叔聲創工作室