﻿1
[MUSIC]
[TRAFFIC SOUNDS]
[MUSIC ONLY]
Oh, I'm such an idiot.
I just left my key on the table
so that I wouldn't forget it.
No problem, I can let you in.
Thank you so much.
I do this all the time.
Its really stupid of me.
I hate to interrupt.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] La Ciento!
You're sorry?
I'm his wife.
I can explain.
Let me give it a shot.
You fell naked into bed with your intern.
Ma'am, I'm so super sorry but,
Chaz and me like, really, really love each other.
That's so sweet.
Get dressed!
And answer your phone!
I have been calling you non-stop!
Your dad's in the hospital.
He's in a coma so they moved him to Richmond.
[SNICKERING]
And this one says, "Feel better" from your buddy Paul.
Of course, its feel better with Tequila.
And Doris's grandson drew a great picture of you
falling off the roof of the house.
[KNOCKING]
Hey...
I'm glad you guys made it.
Oh my gosh.
Baby!
What's the latest?
He's going to be okay, he's going to be okay.
He's been working so hard on the house.
This coma's probably saved him from a heart attack.
Is there anything we can do?
No, Ben came by and brought the mail.
Sarah's Ben?
Uh-huh.
Oh, he does exist.
Yeah, he brought me some clothes from the house.
What is all this Grillig Property stuff?
I told you about those people.
They're trying to buy up our whole neighborhood.
I'm going to go use the bathroom.
Talk to your father.
Okay.
I feel like I probably should
stay here in Richmond with them.
You're going to stay here with my parents?
Yeah, somebody has to.
Your mom can't do a three hour drive
back and forth from Bethel Cove everyday.
That's not going to work,
so we'll just get a hotel room and I'll stay.
So you're not going to tell them what happened?
- Eventually, yeah - Listen Jess, I can't get a divorce.
My mom and dad would be devastated.
If its the cheating, I swear-
If its the cheating?
[MUSIC]
It's good to see you again, Jess.
Did you bring the papers?
Yeah, I did, I'll give them to you
when we get back to the house.
Just mail them back to me when you're done.
And it'll be final.
Jess, we have to tell her.
No, not yet.
Jess, she thinks she's moving to New York
to live with the both of us.
I know that, but this... No.
Not today.
I can't believe you never brought me to your hometown.
Well, you're welcome.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Who is that arguing with her?
Insurance salesman.
Won't leave her alone.
Are you kidding me?
Here?!
I'm sorry, Mr.
can I take you for a second, please?
I just want to talk to you.
Mom, I'm so sorry...
Jessie, right?
It's good to finally meet you.
Save it.
I saw you talking to Naomi.
Of course, I'm worried about her future.
Maybe you should be worried about your own future.
You got exactly what you deserve right there.
And, if I ever catch you trying to sell to her again,
I'll teach you about a little kick called the Kistrate.
Something I learned in self defense class.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stay.
What happened?
We talked.
We just worked it out.
It was very civil, very...
Oh no...
For those of you who don't know me,
I'm pastor Ben Kingston.
I was...
I was blessed to call Lyle Ellison my father-in-law.
He and Naomi are the proud parents
of Chaz and my wife, Sarah.
She was the love of my life.
And even after she passed six years ago,
Lyle insisted I call him Dad.
And I did.
Lyle is survived by his beautiful wife Naomi...
You okay, Mom?
Hey guys, I got some leftovers.
Shh
Sorry!
And I'm sorry about the grave.
Chaz told me you were an insurance salesman.
That's Ben's joke.
That's your joke?
Life after death insurance.
I'm a pastor, I help people get in Heaven.
It's not as funny when I explain it.
Ever.
Mom, you okay?
The mover's will take care of all of this.
I just want to pack up for myself, okay?
Just give me three or four more weeks, please?
I mean, two if Jesse will stay and help me.
Yes, yeah of course.
Mom, let me just hire movers
and you'll be out of here within a week.
Why are you rushing her?
They won't close until she moves out.
They can't just wait a little while longer?
How many other people are going to buy a house with a
bridge in their front yard?
I don't know Chaz, but I do know
that Mom doesn't want to move-
She's not your Mom!
We're divorced!
What?
Charles?
Chaz, you are such a-
Monkey bread?
Chaz and I got a divorce.
Since I've been in the kitchen?
Here, do me a favor and pack fast.
The movers will be here in two weeks.
And that's longer than you want to be in this town.
Trust me.
Bye.
I'm going to take care of my own luggage...
Naomi, are you sure this is a good idea?
My son wants me to move in with him,
I'm not going to say, "No."
No, I mean that, too, but, never mind!
He means letting me stay with you.
That is not what I meant.
That's what I meant.
Jim Nuefert?
Chaz Ellison here.
[ON PHONE] Hey Hardball, what's going on?
Do we have a deal?
Absolutely, just need a couple weeks
to finalize the paperwork and we're all set.
That's cutting it close.
Listen man, two weeks and they're out of the house.
Guaranteed.
Curly fries, you got it.
- I'll have that right out for you - Daphne Larkin,
I was hoping you'd still be here.
Always here for you, Chaz.
I was sorry to hear about your dad.
Thank you.
Can I get you something?
Do you remember what I used to like?
Of course I do.
I'm assuming you want it to go?
Actually, I was going to eat it here if you don't mind?
Oh yeah, pull up a seat.
Great.
If only I'd known you'd be this hot twenty years later.
Careful, you're a married man, again.
And divorced again?
No, I thought she was in town here with you.
She is, she's over there with my mom.
Practically moving in with her.
She still thinks there's a chance.
No, done deal.
Why is that?
What did she cheat on you?
I really shouldn't say.
Really?
Listen, Daphne, I'm flying out tonight.
Maybe you could check in on her?
Make sure she doesn't get too comfortable here?
Thanks, Daphne.
Alright, I got to get to my customers.
Quit being so charming.
This is Sarah's room.
Wow.
Did she work at a trophy store?
I guess you can start packing this one up in the morning.
You okay.
I will be.
I know.
Thank you for having me here.
Thank you.
Alright, good night.
I'm here if you need anything, okay?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MUSIC]
Good morning.
You're up early.
We have a lot to do today, so...
Are you hungry?
You want some breakfast, some coffee...
No, I'm fine.
Okay, actually that's good.
Because I realize that you've been away so long that we
would probably have to go get groceries.
I realized last night you guys
probably needed some groceries,
so I brought them.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Nothing was open yet, though.
So I just borrowed what I could from the church pantry.
That's a lot of mustard.
That's great, though.
Because I was thinking today that I would love
for breakfast to have a thousand hot dogs.
That sounds good.
That'll keep.
You know we're leaving in two weeks?
(WHISPERING) I appreciate everything you're doing for her.
I really do.
But, moving Naomi to New York?
Its the best thing for her.
Its what she wants to do.
Best thing for her?
Or best thing for you?
She's not going to be living with me.
She's going to be living with Chaz.
Exactly.
That's going to last about a week, at the most.
I'll take care of her.
She's lived here forty years.
We're her family.
You know, let us take care of her.
Right, you should take care of her.
By honoring what she has said she wants to do which is...
Oh, what was it?
Yeah, go to New York.
[MUSIC]
Yes!
[OS] Here you go, hon.
Hello!
Hi.
Yeah, I'm Jessie.
Oh yeah, we know who you are.
Look who it is, everybody!
Oh, hi.
Let's see, can I get a half caff mocha
with soy and lots of whip, please.
I'm so sorry, we don't have your fancy city coffees here.
Oh, that's okay.
Let's do a big coffee, lots of cream, lots of sugar.
You got it, large coffee...
Hey Daphne, can I get my large
choco-cino with blended whip?
You got it, Shae.
Hey Joe, get Shae's special, blended whip.
So no fancy city coffees, huh?
Extra cream, extra sugar, is it?
Alright.
Oh, okay.
When you have a second,
do you think I could talk to your manager?
No problem!
Hi, I'm the manager, what can I do for you?
I'm just trying to get a decent cup of coffee?
I know, um... Fuel depot.
Its about thirty miles down 86 south.
They make amazing coffee.
Great.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Head out now, you won't hit traffic.
Okay.
Okay, preacher.
You following me or is that just your truck's top speed?
Naomi said you went out.
I thought you might get lost.
You know your downtown is only five blocks, right?
And all on one side of the street.
Yeah, there is more to Bethel Cove than you might think.
Why don't you hop in and
I'll give you a tour?
I don't have time, lot of packing to do still.
And it's taking me a little bit longer to do what with all
of the tape that disappeared.
Yeah, sorry, that was...
Stupid?
Let me make it up to you?
Give you a ride back?
Yeah, yes.
I'll take a ride back.
Thank you.
Wow, quite the chariot here.
That's a lot of tape.
It is, it is.
If you want to use any of it to fix up your truck,
by all means.
I'm pretty good, actually, I have some leftover.
You do?
So, is this how you usually pick up women?
What?!
No, no, I didn't...
That was a joke.
Ben, that was just a joke.
Sheesh, totally worth it, though.
[LAUGHING]
Naomi was that way.
Yeah, I know, but I'm going to take you
to see the museum first.
It's great.
The museum?
Yeah.
As enticing of an offer as a museum day sounds,
I really do have a ton of stuff to do.
That woman has been holding on to stuff for years...
Okay, you're starting to creep me out here, tapeworm.
Allright.
Here's the deal.
Naomi has company coming over.
Her friends want to talk to her about staying here.
In her home.
Honestly, I am totally fine with that,
but I should at least be there.
These are friends from church.
Right.
Oh, you think I'm going to embarrass her?
You have to understand, Jessie,
Chaz tends to attract a certain type of woman.
That didn't come out right.
No, I think that came out just perfectly, Ben.
I completely understand.
But, I don't think you should worry.
I'm probably not going to make it to the meeting on time
because its really time consuming to just wander around
a neighborhood and try to find someone to sleep with.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Are you sure about leaving?
This community needs you.
We've saved your seat on the committee, kept it open.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi!
Jessie, this is Doris Sheeline, Melinda Alders,
and Elaine Crowley.
And Eddie.
Hello, I'm Jessie.
Naomi's daughter-in-law.
Well, ex daughter-in-law, really.
I divorced her son.
That was a lot of information, wasn't it?
And it sounded bad, but its not bad, its good.
Its, so good!
Cause he was the worst.
Not the worst.
You raised him to have many fine qualities.
Just none of them that were visited upon me consistently,
so in this case its great.
Good divorce!
Thank God-
Goodness, thank goodness we divorced
because its better now.
Life is better for me now.
I'm going to start again.
I'm Jessie!
I like her.
Oh.
[TRAFFIC]
[GLASS BREAKS]
Naomi, are you okay?
[OS] In here.
Hey!
Oh.
What happened?
I was clumsy, that's all.
Do you think maybe we're moving a little too fast here?
It is Sunday, you want to take a day off
and go do something fun?
Oh no, I got enough rest.
Lets just keep moving, okay?
Keep packing.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Okay.
[MUSIC]
I have an idea.
Lets go church-ing.
No, not a verb.
I still think we should go.
You've been asking me to go for years, today's the day.
Maybe you should just go?
No, I'm not going to church alone,
they'll burn me at the stake.
I don't think so, Jessie, I'm just not up for it.
You're right.
Who needs church?
[LAUGHING] Alright, lets go church-ing.
Yes?
Yes, oh yeah.
[CHURCH BELLS]
Dear brothers and sisters,
when troubles of any kind come your way,
consider it a gift coming down to us from God our Father.
I'm sorry, did he just say your troubles are a gift?
I'm sorry, I didn't hear.
[SERMON CONTINUES] ...with a divided loyalty
is as unsettled to as God our Father...
Excuse me, Ben... or, your holiness?
Ben's fine.
Or pastor.
You just said that our troubles are gifts
and if that's true, I've got some gifts coming to me.
That's not actually what I was...
Let me just go back...
I think you're right.
The verse should read, "When troubles of any kind
come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy,
for you know that when your faith is tested,
your endurance has a chance to grow...
Sorry, jumping in again.
You just said that our troubles are joy,
which is ridiculous.
No, that's right.
James I.
What did James win?
Its in the bible.
Right.
Okay, here's the thing.
Its actually kind of a beautiful meaning if-
[DORIS CLEARS HER THROAT]
You know what, we don't generally ask questions
during the sermon, sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Of course you don't.
Its alright.
Where was I?
That's a question.
Is it?
Also a question.
You know what?
We were almost near the end anyways, so lets sing.
Hymn number four hundred,please.
[BAD SINGING]
Is it supposed to be this bad?
I don't think its really that bad, I mean...
Yeah no, its pretty bad.
This is Lyle's favorite song.
Really?
This was?
Discipline is a virtue.
You didn't make it through the sermon.
Well, Doris, I had a bit of a distraction.
Hence, discipline.
We can't afford to lose any more attendees.
Its good to see you.
Its always good to see you.
Wow.
That was-
Your first time in a church, I'm guessing.
Mm-hmm.
So, what did you think?
I thought it was interesting.
Yeah, I didn't love it, honestly.
Not because of you.
I just don't know if I'm really a church person.
But, we got Mom out of the house.
Yeah, actually I wanted to thank you for getting her out.
She needs that.
You're very welcome.
And I kind of think that she-
Where is she going?
I think I know where.
[MUSIC]
[SIGHING] I think you're right.
She's not ready, I'm pushing her too fast.
Listen, why don't we just worry about helping her?
Together.
[CHURCH BELLS]
Oh.
No, it's okay.
No, I want to.
I want to.
Okay.
Well, no, that's a lot.
That's a little extreme.
Let's do $25?
$20?
[THROAT CLEARING]
No, yeah, I don't need change.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
That was a lot.
They're going to do well today.
There are a lot of people here.
You should have seen what it was like years ago when
so many people used to come here to hear Ben talk.
When he first came here, fresh out of the seminary,
so young and so inspired.
It's what made Sarah fall in love with him.
Good morning.
[AUDIENCE] Good morning.
It's good to see some old friends.
Even some new ones.
Today's sermon is on-
Oh, hey!
Ben, I wanted to...
Don't worry, I promise I'm not going to interrupt today-
And yet?
And yet, hold on,
I thought I would just go ahead and ask my questions
at the top before you get to the notecard thing.
How thoughtful of you.
So, how do you know if this is the one true religion and, if it
is, does it mean that all of the other religions are wrong?
Oh good, an easy one.
That was way less boring this time.
That's our new slogan.
Is it?!
Yeah.
I like that.
I do expect some royalties, though.
Absolutely.
She was actually singing today.
It was very sweet.
So nicely done.
You want to double down and take her to lunch?
Yeah-
Excuse me, pastor, the committee would like to
have a word with you today before you go.
Of course.
I'll meet you both at the diner after.
Yes, it's a date.
No, it's not a date.
It's not a date.
It's just the pastor going out with two women.
So much better.
Yeah, it sounded like it was going to be in my head
before I said it.
I'm going to go get Mom.
Twice now you've allowed this woman
to disrupt our services.
What's wrong with a little spice in our services?
What would you have me do, Doris?
Uninvite her to church?
You can't sacrifice an entire congregation for one person.
You're right.
Heaven forbid we promote sacrifice in church.
Sorry.
I'll talk to her.
Excellent.
Now let's talk about next Sunday's lessons.
simplesermonsweekly.com has a lovely one on discipline.
Great.
There you go.
That's the way I like it.
You know, Daphne, I am going to win you over
whether you like it or not.
No, but you keep trying.
I will, I will!
I'm very tenacious!
Hey!
Hey, how was Doris?
Oh, she's great.
Big fan of yours, by the way.
I thought she might be.
Here you go sweetie.
Thanks.
Oh, you got a menu, how lovely for you.
Thank you.
Where's Naomi?
She left immediately after the service.
I think the only way we're getting her out of the house
is when she thinks she's going to convert me.
Kind of a shame that church is only on Sundays.
That's it.
No, seriously.
Ask her if she'll host a bible study at her house
during the week.
She'd never say no to that.
She would never believe that.
Like a bunch of people are just going to get together
at a house and study the bible.
Is that a real thing?
Yeah.
Well, just in this town?
Worldwide.
Hey Chazzi.
Well, you're not going to believe this but,
Jessie and Ben are getting awful friendly.
You've gone too far.
You've gone to third Corinthians.
[LAUGHTER]
Okay, I have a Job question.
[PRONOUNCES IT LIKE JOB / OCCUPATION]
So, Job's entire family is wiped out,
and I'm just confused why him getting new kids
would make that okay.
It's Job. [PRONOUNCES IT WITH A LONG "O" SOUND]
No, in mine it's job.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hey sweetie!
Hey Mom, you sound good.
Well, I'm just very excited to be
moving in with my new roomie.
That's great, so you're all packed up then?
Well, it's taking a little bit longer than I expected.
Mom, the moving truck's will be there in less than a week.
Can't we postpone them?
I just need a little bit more time.
No, Mom, we can't.
How's Jessie doing?
Is she helping you or slowing things down?
I know she means well.
[JESSIE TALKING & LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND]
Is that Jessie?
What's that?
Mom?
You know what, I'm going to call you back.
[ON PHONE] Hardball, what's going on?
Hey Jim, what's up, buddy?
Just want to let you know that everything's going good,
but the homeowner might need a couple more weeks
to move out.
If that's possible.
If we can't start demolition on the first,
I've got to go with the other location.
10 days, Ellison.
You know, I could get used to this "churching".
Those were really important questions.
I just never really thought to ask them before.
You know, it's still a little early.
Do you want to do something fun?
No.
Wait.
Yes, do you want to go see a movie?
Some other evening.
No, it's "Charade", Mom.
I want to go see "Charade".
I've seen it.
Okay, you haven't seen it with me.
Come on, it starts in thirty minutes, let's go.
Why don't you go in line, get us tickets,
and I'll just meet you there after I finish.
Okay, you're not going to bail on me, are you?
No, I promise you won't have to see the movie alone.
No, go, hurry.
Okay.
[MUSIC]
Hey pastor.
Hey guys.
Hey!
Hey, pastor Ben!
Where's Naomi?
She told me to meet her here.
She's not here yet.
She sent me down here to get a spot in line.
There's never a line here, is there?
Not ever, no.
Great.
Did she set us up?
What?
No!
Yeah, no!
No, it's stilly.
It's a shame, though.
I was looking forward to seeing this one.
You've never seen charade?
Hepburn, Grant, mystery comedy.
No.
All right, we are seeing it right now, come on.
You're going to get it in a second.
Hi.
Pastor!
Hi!
Pastor Kingston.
I'll take this one, Evon.
Two please.
I got mine.
No, they're $2.50 each.
I'll treat.
Okay, just don't think that I'm sleeping with you
because you're paying.
She's kidding, we're not-
I don't put out for $2.50.
Right, Doris?
But, you spring for popcorn, and we'll talk about it.
[FROM HEPBURN ON MOVIE SCREEN] "You're blocking my view."
"Which view would you prefer?"
"The one you're blocking."
"What's your name?"
"Peter Joshua."
"Mine's Regina Lampert."
"Is there a Mr. Lampert?"
"Yes."
"Good for you."
"No, it isn't, I'm getting a divorce."
Pastor?
Doris?
Everything okay?
We're fine, thank you.
[LAUGHING]
This is going to be fun.
Don't, please don't.
Wait for it.
You know I'm going to pay for this later.
I'm sorry.
You're not sorry.
Not even remotely, no.
That's what I thought.
[LAUGHING]
That was so awesome!
Yeah, amazing for you.
She doesn't run the committee
that holds your job in the balance.
I think it's pronounced Job. [SHE SAYS WITH LONG "O" SOUND]
Cute.
Thank you.
Come on, I'll walk you home.
I'll walk you home.
I assume you have a home, yes?
- Yes. - Good.
Technically it's a room in the back of a church but, yes.
The commute's great.
Is it?
Yes.
Well, it was half a degree, actually.
Early childhood education.
I had about a year to go and I met Chaz and he was older
and successful and I really wanted to have a family.
You went with Chaz for stability?
Ha.
Chaz was different then.
It's hard to believe but he was.
Plus his parents were perfect role models.
Yeah, they are.
They really took to you.
Naomi especially.
Was that rain?
No.
No?
I think it was.
Okay, come on, I've got a shortcut.
[THUNDER IN THE DISTANCE]
Shortcut through a cemetery.
This is not creepy at all.
Cemeteries are great.
People are dying to get in here.
[LAUGHTER]
Somebody's going to have to teach you
the basic concepts of humor.
Oh yeah, I guess I can admit you seem...
Kind of funny.
Oh, thanks.
Where did you get that from, your parents?
Well, I have no idea if my Dad was funny and I think
probably the only joke in my Mom's life was having a kid
that she wasn't ready for, so-
I did not know that parents like Naomi and Lyle existed.
You know, they told me a little,
but can I ask how you handled losing Sarah?
It's just finding a routine and sticking to it.
Oh, the pastor routine?
The pastor routine, yes.
So you didn't stop believing in God?
Nope.
Can't be mad at someone you don't believe in.
You're mad?
You're the calmest mad person I've ever seen.
People know when I'm mad.
There's a lot of yelling.
Yeah, I can see that, I would imagine so.
Can you?
So you never yell?
No, we're way past yelling.
With Sarah, I...
I asked Him for a lot.
When she got sick, we asked for a cure.
When she got really sick, we asked for more time.
And then at the end,
I just asked that she wouldn't suffer.
We didn't get any of it.
So, I don't ask anymore.
You have to stop, I didn't recognize you,
I didn't know you.
Okay, so you only push people you don't know
into open graves.
Yes, that's exactly what I do.
You're lucky I forgive very quickly.
Says the guy who gives God the silent treatment.
No, I talk to God all the time.
I just don't ask him for anything for myself anymore.
Oh, that's very altruistic of you.
Thank you.
You ask for other people?
Yeah.
Do you ever ask for me?
You?
I pray for you all the time.
You pray for me all the time?
Yeah.
What do you pray for?
I pray that you find what you're looking for.
Pray that you find happiness.
What does that sound like or how do you do it?
How?
Yeah, I mean,
would you do it?
Right now?
Yeah, I mean is that weird?
No, that's not weird at all.
I'll pray for you.
Okay.
You ready?
Yes, well, no.
Ready?
I'm nervous.
It's okay.
Here.
[MUSIC]
Heavenly Father,
We thank you for Jessie.
We thank you for her questions.
We hope you help her find the answers.
We hope you help her find you.
A-men.
So now what?
Now we give him a chance to talk back.
Does he sound even remotely like Morgan Freeman?
[LAUGHTER]
So?
So.
I will see you later.
You don't want to thank me for a great first non-date?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
That was really bad aim.
That was not bad for a pastor.
That was pretty tame for a heathen, though.
We can't.
Okay.
I'm a pastor.
Right, okay.
Woah!
Are you okay?
All good.
[LAUGHTER]
I...
- Good night. - Good night!
Good night!
Ben, you're not going to take your truck?
I'll get it later.
[MUSIC SWELLS]
[CRASHING SOUND]
Mom?
Naomi?
Hey.
Hey!
Is it safe?
Who's bright idea was it to put weights in the attic?
I'm going to guess a man.
Yeah, who's not here to help me box them up.
Thank you, Charlie.
So?
How was the movie?
It was okay.
Just okay?
Yeah, you know.
Big screen, popcorn.
So it was great?
It was great, yeah.
Wow, Mom, looking around,
there's still a lot of stuff we still have to pack.
I know.
I wonder if it's going to take us just a little bit longer
to pack than we initially thought?
You think?
I do.
I feel like maybe we should get used to the idea
of being in Bethel Cove a little longer?
Maybe we should?
Maybe we should.
But you still have to help me pack.
Yes, yes, I should be helping you.
[CHURCH BELLS]
We're going to have to get here earlier next time.
Well...
- Hi. - Hi.
Okay, I'm going to go find us a seat.
I'll join you.
You look nice.
You look pretty nice, too.
Hi, Doris.
I wanted to talk to you about the movie.
I know it may all seem like innocent fun,
but the pastor of a church has to
maintain a higher standard of decency.
Right.
You are so right.
And, Doris, I just want you to know you have my absolute
word that we will only be indecent when no one can see us.
I was joking, I'm sorry.
Amusing, I'm sure.
Young lady, I have a suggestion for you.
Questions should be encouraged, but in an environment that
everyone can benefit from your experience level.
I think this church has the perfect place
for you and your questions.
Right, okay, but I'm just wondering how do they get two of
every single animal on board without any of them
attacking and eating each other?
And, really, more to the point,
this is a story that is entirely about genocide.
Are we all okay with this being about genocide?
Good morning.
Before we begin, I would just like to say that I feel very
confident that today's sermon will be interruption-free.
Let's turn to Matthew 7-7.
Ben, excuse me, sorry.
We just have a couple of quick questions
because our teacher didn't answer them.
[LAUGHTER]
That is a really good one.
Uh-huh.
It's going to be a list of questions.
[MORE LAUGHTER]
Bring it on.
[MUSIC]
Then there's all the family stuff, there's...
He's my ex-husband's sister's husband,
so that's like we're in-laws, right?
No, because we were once, or twice, removed.
It doesn't matter.
My fear is that it's incest?
It's not, though.
Because we're not actually related so I think
if you really think it through, it's probably,
as I'm saying it out loud,
I think it's probably totally okay.
This was really, helpful.
Thank you for listening.
I'll clear my, I'll clear it here.
Hey!
Hey.
Speak of the devil.
Wait, no, can I say that?
Yeah, I'll let it slide.
Thank you.
Am I too late for breakfast?
I didn't know you were going to join me.
I would have waited.
That's a lie, I wouldn't have.
I was so hungry.
Those kids, they really took it out of me.
You're really great with them, you know?
Well, I mean, I do have half of an education degree.
And you have half a credit card.
Your card was declined so I had to cut it in half.
I should have seen this coming, right?
Of course he's going to go after the money.
Yeah, Chaz has never been really good at sharing.
No, he has not.
What, I'm supposed to give up my coffee?
My alone time with Daphne?
No, the church could use some help.
A little bit in the office, help out with the youth club?
It would just be a few hours here and there.
Would you be my boss?
Yes.
Can I date my boss?
Let me check.
Yes.
Yes, then I would like this job.
You would?
Yes.
Okay, what are your qualifications.
Oh, I'm adorable, and-
Hired!
[ALTOGETHER] Done.
[LAUGHING]
[JESSIE] No, I completely understand.
All guys are like that, honestly.
And I really hate to break it to you,
but they don't get any less stupid as they age.
Pretty much, it's a baseline, it just keeps going.
Jessie?
Yeah?
What if he doesn't like me?
What?
Alex, he's-
You know what?
I just read this story where Jesus was talking
about this pearl fisherman
and he finds this beautiful, amazing pearl.
He sells everything that he has so that he can
buy this beauty, and he...
Stay with me, what I'm saying is, you're the pearl.
So, if this boy is too stupid
to see how beautiful you are,
then, girl, that's his loss.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
[CAR HORN HONKS OUTSIDE]
That's your Dad.
Bye guys.
You're going to be here next week, right?
I hope so.
Bye!
Bye.
Looks like you're having fun.
I am, yes.
Wait, though, if I'm having fun
are you still going to pay me?
No.
Oh, then no, in that case I am miserable.
I can't believe you're making me
hang out with these little monsters.
So, is there any kind of reward for a great first day?
[MUSIC]
What did you have in mind?
Well, I was thinking...
Let's get something to eat.
[PIANO MUSIC]
[JESSIE & BEN BANTER]
[MOM] Jessie...
[CHAZ] Hi honey, I'm home.
What are you doing here?
I was worried about my girl.
Your girl?
I'm not your girl.
Why don't we all sit down and talk this through.
I'm sorry, Jess, maybe I made a mistake by coming here.
Right, well, we all know how good you are
at making mistakes.
When you didn't sign the divorce papers-
Wait, wait.
Of course, I signed them.
I definitely signed them.
I practically broke the sound barrier by
sprinting to the mailbox to get them to you.
Honey, I never got them.
And when I didn't get them, I thought that maybe
you were having second thoughts.
I was not having second thoughts.
I never even had first thoughts.
Any thoughts I might have had about you,
they were kind of centered around dismemberment.
Jessie-
No, it's okay if she hates me.
I hate me, too.
But I'd hate myself more
if I didn't try to fix our marriage.
We don't have a marriage.
Legally, I'm still your husband.
No, that's what I'm trying to say to you
that you are not my husband.
Jessie, will you just sit down
and talk about this, please.
No, I'm not going to sit down
because there's nothing to talk about.
This is ridiculous.
Maybe we should try to figure this out.
You want to figure this out?
By all means, the three of you can sit down
and talk all night if you want to.
But I'm pretty clear on this.
I'm beat, I'm going to bed.
I had a great day today, in case you're wondering,
a great day.
Thank you.
Huh, okay.
Well, you guys enjoy your conversation.
Thanks for coming by, Chaz.
[BEN] Jessie, wait.
[MOM] Let me go check on her.
[SIGH] Wow, Ben, I've got to say I'm pretty surprised.
Yeah, I'm surprised, too, Chaz.
You really trying to fix your marriage?
I mean, first you had my sister, and now my wife?
What's next?
I don't have any pets.
Careful, Charlie.
I just hope that the church doesn't find out that their
pastor is running around with a married woman.
So what did she say?
Oh, she is not talking to anybody tonight.
She is locked in her room.
I don't think you're going to get her back, babe.
She's been really hurt.
I know, Mom.
Will you please just talk to her?
Please.
Just give it a little time, okay?
Let her cool down and I'll talk to her in the morning,
all right?
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Okay.
[MUSIC]
[BUBBLEWRAP POPPING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Woah, save some for the china.
Honey, he's really hurting, too.
Couldn't you just go talk to him?
What did he say to you?
He really wants to make amends and maybe...
I'm not saying, "Get back together".
I'm just saying, that maybe you can forgive him?
Where is he?
He's in his old bedroom up in the attic.
What are you up to?
I can't get over you.
You look amazing.
There's something different about you.
Well, I am trying a new moisturizer.
It's balancing out my T zone.
Okay, there you are.
Joke about everything.
Well, you, my dear, haven't changed.
Actually, I have.
I've been seeing someone.
Just one?
That is different.
No, it's not like that, it's...
I've been seeing a counselor.
And he says that, in order to fix my soul,
I need to mend the things that I've broken.
Starting with our marriage.
We are not married, Chaz.
Legally, we are.
And people in this town might say that,
in the eyes of God, we still are.
Right, but those same people would say
that you have three wives.
Had.
But really only one that I still love.
Jessie, we were really good once.
And I want to get that back.
And I'm willing to do anything.
Anything to fix us.
That is, literally all that I ever wanted you to say Chaz...
before you cheated.
Now it's just irritating.
You're not Sarah, you know that, right?
What?
People like Ben, they go for Sarahs.
Not for girls like you.
And there you are.
[SIGH]
Hey.
So...
So.
Yeah.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Sorry.
We didn't realize you were in conference,
with a woman, with the door closed.
There's nothing going on in here, Doris.
That's a shame.
I should go.
Since I'm sure you want to talk about me.
No, it's not about you.
It's about her.
I know, she interrupts church.
It's an embarrassment.
Attendance has been way up.
We've been hearing some very upsetting things-
We're concerned about your intentions.
And how those intentions reflect on the church.
I mean, if I would have known she would come to this town
and cause this much trouble,
I never would have had her come.
You couldn't have known, honey.
I just want to make things right.
I feel like she's making me to be the bad guy
and this is my town, this is where I grew up.
We're here for you.
All of us.
I'm going to do the right thing.
You're going to be at church on Sunday, yeah?
I'm wherever you are, honey.
Thank you, Daphne.
[PASTOR] Good morning, everyone.
[AUDIENCE] Good morning.
Now, I know that many of you
may have some questions today.
That's great, but with so many people here,
we ask that you use the cards
provided in the pews to-
Actually, do you mind if I share what I wrote?
I do, Chaz, the point was to wait.
I truly am grateful to be here today.
Many of you knew me as a kid
and all the mistakes that I made.
Well, I'm here today because I'm trying to get my life
back on the right path.
You got all that to fit on your card?
Obviously I need everyone's prayers.
Especially for my wife and me.
Ex-wife.
One of several, actually.
Charlie, why don't you sit down-
No, Mom, I just need to know,
how am I supposed to fix my marriage
when my wife is being lusted after by your pastor?
Again, ex-wife.
Which is because of you.
We can fix it, Jess.
Malachi 2-16.
God says he hates divorce.
And Matthew 5 allows it if someone is unfaithful.
That's if he cheats on you, Jezebel.
He did cheat on me.
And don't call me Jezebel.
That's a bad thing, right?
Jezebel?
Alright, I'm glad everyone's learning their Bible, but Chaz
I think this is a conversation to be had in private.
Actually it effects all of us if you use church funds to
fool around with a married woman in your office.
That has never happened.
[AUDIENCE ARGUES]
[LOUD WHISTLE]
To all of our guests, we apologize.
This embarrassment was to be addressed after the service,
but I can see something has to be done right away.
Pastor Kingston, please step down.
[MOM] Doris, Ben has done absolutely nothing wrong-
The committee has already decided.
He cannot be the pastor
as long as he's under this woman's spell.
Doris, I am so sick of you talking to Jessie like-
No, no, no.
You see what you're doing, right?
This is exactly what he wanted.
Are you just here to hurt us?
Jess...
Jessie, Charlie's heart is in the right place.
Can't you tell he's suffering, too?
This guy is suffering?
I don't think so.
That is the face of pure evil.
Jessie,
I love you but he's my son.
Okay, you're right.
He is your son.
I'm sorry, everyone.
I just realized that I don't have a place here.
I release your pastor from my spell.
[PASTOR] Jessie!
[MUSIC]
Jessie, stop!
You should go back inside, Ben.
I didn't even realize this before,
but you are really needed in there.
They are pretty messed up.
I'm not worried about them right now.
Do you even realize what just happened in there?
I just got you fired from a church.
Chaz did that, okay?
And that will blow over.
No one listens to Chaz.
You'll get your divorce.
And you and I, we can pick up right where we left off.
Let's talk about where we left off, actually, Ben.
Because you are totally right.
My divorce is going to go away.
It's going to be finalized and it's going to be done.
But you...
Do you even realize that you're wearing your wedding ring?
That every single day you have worn your wedding ring?
When you kiss me, it's on.
My marriage is done, Ben, it's over.
But you have been wearing that ring ever since I got here.
Every time you've kissed me, that has been on your finger.
It's not about Chaz.
Ben, you're not the other man.
I'm the other woman.
And I'm not going to do it anymore.
[MUSIC SWELLS]
[MUSIC]
[PIANO MUSIC]
[DOOR BELL]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry, I'm looking for Chaz Ellis.
He isn't here right now.
Can I help you?
I'm his mother.
Oh, thank goodness you're not the squatter.
The squatter?
He really did get the old bag to pack up.
He said he would but I half didn't believe him.
Is he here because we were supposed to meet at the diner
and he didn't show-
I'm sorry, you are?
Jim Nueford, I'm sure Chaz has mentioned me.
Of course.
You aught to be proud of that boy.
The amount he negotiated
to broker the close of this last holdout,
just between you and me,
we're paying more to him than we are for the house.
I'm sorry, did I just say something wrong?
Would you come in a minute, please?
[MUSIC]
Hey Daphne.
What are you doing?
Practicing my talent for the Ms. Virginia pageant.
Isn't it obvious?
Whoa, Daphne, what's wrong?
You tricked me into spreading rumors about her.
Whoa, I didn't ask you to do anything.
The only thing that Jessie ever did wrong
was fall for you.
But I guess we all make mistakes.
You know I was going to ask you
to come to New York with me,
but I guess you want to be a waitress in a dead end diner.
[DINER CROWD HUSHES]
I own this dead end diner, Chaz.
I bought it three years ago
and it makes me a lot of money.
But even if I were, "just a waitress",
I wouldn't waste one more minute on you.
So I guess the special's out of the question?
Oh no, let me get that for you, sweetie.
One special - to go!
What are you still doing here, Chaz?
Shouldn't you be winning back your wife?
Oh, don't worry, Benny, I've still got plenty of leftovers
you can pick through.
[MUSIC]
[DISHES CRASHING]
[DAPHNE] What are you doing?!
[DORIS] Pastor Kingston!
[ALTOGETHER] He started it!
Even with the young woman gone,
I can see her influence is still corrupting you.
Perhaps a vote for revocation is still in order.
I recommend you prepare a sermon-
No, you know what?
I'll prepare my own sermon.
[PIANO MUSIC / TRAFFIC SOUNDS]
[CHURCH BELLS]
Hey Mom.
Sorry I'm late.
Now what happened?
The moving truck will be here any second.
I met your friend Mr. Nueford.
This was the last lot they needed in order to build.
I saw an opportunity and I took it.
How bad is it, your money problems?
Look, I had an investment.
It was a sure-fire thing, and then the economy-
You don't love her, do you?
You just needed me to leave here.
Well, I am sorry.
For what?
I'm not leaving, Charlie.
Bethel Cove is my home.
Mom, please don't start this again.
My community is here.
My church is here, Dad and Sarah are here-
No, they're not, Mom, they're dead!
I'm all you've got left, and I'm not here.
Mom, if the house isn't empty tonight-
I'm not leaving.
You can have the house,
but you have to let Jessie go.
You're going to choose Jessie over me?
Family's not about choosing sides.
That's all this has been about!
Let her be.
You know what?
Doesn't matter.
It's fine.
So, I guess we have a deal.
Someday you're going to want to come home.
And your pride's going to get in your way.
And you're going to feel
that it's too late.
It's never too late.
[CHURCH BELLS]
[PIANO MUSIC]
What have you got against me?
I'm sorry, I didn't-
I know the tone.
I've had conversations like that myself.
Please, go ahead.
No, I don't need to.
I haven't eaten chocolate for a year.
And I'm still gaining weight!
The acoustics in here are great for shouting.
They're even better for listening.
Stay as long as you need.
[MUSIC]
I'm lost.
I don't know if you're there,
but if you are,
could you just tell me where to go?
I'm listening.
[SONG]
Okay, let's talk.
Good morning.
It looks like you had quite a night.
I did.
Coffee, thank God.
And the man who works for Him.
You don't have any Tobasco sauce, do you?
No, I'm sorry.
So, are you still angry?
Yes, I'm still very angry.
But I realized something last night.
You can't be mad at someone you don't believe in.
Yeah, very cool.
[PHONE BUZZING]
You should probably get that.
Somebody's very popular.
I guess so.
[PASTOR] The good shepherd,
that's what Jesus called himself.
And he shared with us a parable about a good shepherd.
Who left his entire flock to seek out one single lost sheep.
Why?
Was he just really bad at math?
[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES]
Or maybe, he knew that everyone matters.
Somehow, especially, the lost ones.
We recently had a lost sheep.
Only she didn't wander off.
We pushed her away.
Claiming she was a bad influence.
How could she be a bad influence?
She inspired me.
How could she be a bad influence?
She filled these pews.
I'm going to find Jessie.
And if that is me giving in to a bad influence,
well then,
I quit.
[JESSIE CLEARS HER THROAT]
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Hi.
I got your messages.
And I got your messages.
And your messages.
And I called my Mom.
And she told me that you trashed the diner?
And that you had this whole plan to quit your job,
so I thought that I should come here in person,
and tell you that I-
[MOM] Come on.
Right, okay.
Hello, everyone.
I wanted to say, in person, that I think
that a food fighting preacher is awesome.
[LAUGHTER]
And I think it's probably something that this town needs.
Yeah?
[AUDIENCE] Yeah.
Because we all learn from you.
Like how you taught me with God, I'm never alone.
I know that now.
So I think you should stay.
And I think I should stay.
And I promise I will take as much or as little of you
as you give to me.
I'm sorry that I pushed you.
I needed you to push me.
I needed you.
Oh, no ring.
You really were coming after me.
Oh yeah, truck's all packed up.
[DORIS] Pastor, we have a question.
Yeah, you guys going to ever kiss, or what?
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC / APPLAUSE]
Doris, that was my kind of question.
Yes, more questions, please.
[LAUGHTER]
[PIANO MUSIC]
We are going to be late, again.
We are not going to be late.
You know I like to make an entrance.
Anyway, it's not my fault.
M was up crying half the night.
[MOM TO BABY] Okay, Mr., let's go.
Are you ready to interrupt your Daddy?
Just like your Mommy.
Ha.
Hi.
Oh, I wrote some jokes for you.
No, I have my own.
Those are funny jokes.
So maybe do those instead?
Okay, yeah, I'll try.
Hello!
Come on, come on, the service is starting.
[CHOIR SINGING] ♪ This is the day,
♪ this is the day,
♪ that the Lord has made,
♪ I will rejoice,
♪ and be glad in it,
♪ and be glad in it.
♪ This is the day that the Lord has made,
♪ I will rejoice and be glad in it,
♪ This is the day,
♪ this is the day,
♪ that the Lord has made!
[APPLAUSE]
Good morning.
[AUDIENCE] Good morning.
Welcome.
Just like always, we will be starting with the town hall
portion of the service.
And since we owe it all to her,
I'm going to ask my beautiful wife, Jessie, to host.
Thank you, sweetie.
You're welcome.
Okay, so let's start with a
non-crossword related inquiry, okay Eddie?
Any other questions, guys?
Okay.
Alright, let's get started.
Coming right over here...
[MUSIC]