0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,282 They say having a sister is like having 2 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,218 a best friend you can't get rid of. 3 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,321 You know, whatever you do they'll still be there. 4 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,723 Well that was never our story. 5 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:30,329 Our story is about how sisters can sink each other... really sink each other. 6 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,127 Morning, Martha. 7 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,462 Hi, Eric. 8 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,797 - That your sister? - Oh, yeah, sure is. 9 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,299 Hi. 10 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,767 Smells like piss back here. 11 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,735 Wow. I thought your sister was kidding 12 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,098 when she said you were a buzz kill. 13 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:57,616 Shannon? Hey, Shannon! Shan! 14 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,518 Shannon! 15 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,859 Great. Now we're going to have to clean up after a bunch 16 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,361 of sweaty Lezzies. 17 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,196 God, what is with you today? 18 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,798 Why did you have to tell that guy I'm a buzz kill? 19 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,633 Oh my God! Shannon Jackson? 20 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,802 - What? - It's me! Kristen! 21 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,403 I work at the front desk. 22 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,638 Okay. 23 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,540 You remember, kristen Metz? 24 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,841 Wow, oh my God. 25 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,143 You don't remember me? 26 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,344 No? Kristen? 27 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,678 Remember, I was, like, 28 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,580 "ah! My ankle! Ow!" 29 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,882 Did I kick you in the ankle? 30 00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,151 Then I was like "sign my cast!" 31 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,652 And then... you couldn't... 32 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,789 you didn't do it, but, God, I knew it was you! 33 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,258 Are we talking about high school? 34 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,826 - Yes. - Okay, I remember you. 35 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,161 Okay, great. 36 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,195 And what are you doing here? 37 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,897 I thought you were, 38 00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:47,566 like, teaching at that fancy pants school in Carmel by the sea? 39 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,268 Yeah, I was but then 40 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,637 I got fired 'cause I fucked a bunch of people. 41 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,772 - Oh. - Yeah. 42 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,707 Woops. 43 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,510 Janitor, lacrosse coach, couple subs, 44 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,246 the headmaster... that was my big mistake 45 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,915 actually because we got caught by some kids 46 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,550 under the bleachers at homecoming. 47 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,918 Oh. 48 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,587 So now I'm a registered sex offender. 49 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,322 Yay! 50 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,790 Yeah. 51 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,560 Oh, you can't clean any rooms with kids in them. 52 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,362 But that's fine. They're always really dirty anyway. 53 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,933 Oh, by the way, I sucked your boyfriend's dick at 54 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:22,201 Chris Deluca's prom party. 55 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,468 I'm sorry? 56 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,970 Yeah. I think he must ate a lot of pineapple 57 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,506 because his spunk is tasty. 58 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,508 You guys married? Is it Scott Metz? 59 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,746 So I guess we may as well just jump in, right? 60 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,447 Get started, basically 61 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,583 you just get your key out of lanyard like that 62 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,818 and then you knock three times, yeah? 63 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,453 And then you say... 64 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,323 fuck off! I'm sleeping! 65 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,924 Okay, let's not go in there. 66 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:50,596 Ugh. People are disgusting. 67 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,698 Check this. This is how you put on a new pillow case. 68 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,234 Then what you do is the double-fold maneuver. 69 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,835 This is also really nice 70 00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,739 to do in your own home, and then like that, fluff, fluff. 71 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,507 Perfect p-case. 72 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,543 Why are you changing the pillow cases? 73 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,745 It's the same people. They're not checking out. 74 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,814 Okay, how about we just try to keep this job, 75 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,449 shan, and not be so lazy? 76 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,883 Fine. 77 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,853 What do I do with their shit? Do I have to fold it? 78 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:18,323 Okay, if I raped you right now what would you do? 79 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,926 I don't want to play this game right now. 80 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,560 You never want to play. 81 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,562 Yeah, I know, that's why I'm not playing. 82 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,431 This was a stupid game when we were kids and it still is. 83 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,799 Hey, remember that old French president 84 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,735 who attacked that African maid? 85 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,271 He was like a grandpa and she still had to spit his jizz. 86 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,374 Well, I'm not spitting anyone's jizz. 87 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,409 Okay, if I raped you right now what would you do? 88 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,678 No one's raping me in this uniform. 89 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,480 It's not really my color. 90 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,750 What you want to do in a rape situation is yell, "fire!" 91 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,451 Why wouldn't I yell rape? 92 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,420 No one responds to that. 93 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,656 Who are your friends? 94 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,358 So basically you put your laundry inside the unit. 95 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,826 And then you want to make sure 96 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,030 you have full load before you start the machine. 97 00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,798 Hey, Martha. 98 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,466 Hey, Jerry. How was your vacation? 99 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,036 Dollywood was awesome. 100 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,871 You must be Shannon. 101 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,639 Welcome to the family. 102 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,410 Your sister said that you're a great sister. 103 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:14,913 I've got my bucket. 104 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,849 And then when that's done you can just move over and, 105 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,384 you know, close it up. 106 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,886 Hit start. 107 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,754 Then once that's going you can move over here 108 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,089 and start folding stuff. 109 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,724 Who is that? 110 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,993 Who? Jerry? Oh, he's the executive maid. 111 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,594 He's worked here for like 15 years. 112 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,063 So he's the top dog. 113 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,664 You're kidding. That's our boss? 114 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,403 God, shan. 115 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,638 What? I'm just saying. 116 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,506 Don't be so insensitive. 117 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,975 You're lucky that he thinks sex offenders fight sex crimes. 118 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,914 You know this spot is really competitive. 119 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,882 You want to go get some hump day drinks 120 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:54,820 to celebrate your first day? 121 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,722 Not really. 122 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,734 Come on. Who's a better dancer? 123 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,869 Me or Jodie foster in "the accused?" 124 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,004 That's not a contest you want to win. 125 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,943 I like this place 'cause of the music. 126 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,111 That's great. 127 00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,446 And the girls. 128 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,081 I'm so glad your back. 129 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,083 When are you going to tell about the last few weeks of rehab? 130 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,685 I'm not. 131 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,420 Rehab is rehab, you know? 132 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,556 It's my recovery. It's private. It's my thing. 133 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,657 Well how do you think you're doing, though? 134 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:33,825 Do you think you're better? 135 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,761 I don't know. 136 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,463 I feel numb. 137 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:43,702 Well, hey, at least numbness is a feeling, right? 138 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,604 To numbness. 139 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,577 What was that? 140 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,012 What was what? 141 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,449 That, shan. That didn't seem numb. 142 00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:01,052 I'm allowed to look at other human beings. 143 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,022 How's that freeloading weirdo you're dating? 144 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,626 Who? Alicia? She's not a weirdo. 145 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,060 Maybe you're thinking about somebody else. 146 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,529 I think I'm thinking of Alicia. 147 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,197 Um, I don't know. 148 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,065 She's just going through a hard time right now, so we split up. 149 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,700 She wanted to like... 150 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,102 suck some dicks? 151 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,004 No, she didn't want to... stop, Shannon. 152 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,639 She's a loser straight girl 153 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,541 who was never going to settle down with you. 154 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,042 I like helping people. 155 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,744 Yeah, you know, who else did? 156 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,846 Mom, and it left her with two tits full of cancer 157 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:28,880 so enjoy that. 158 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,085 I'm gonna go pay for these beers. 159 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,153 As usual. 160 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,799 Hey, shan, you sure you don't want to go with me, right? 161 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,901 I have a meeting. 162 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,903 You want some fiddle for your paddle? 163 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,906 No, I'm good. I'll get something on the way. 164 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,075 Okay, if you get hungry there's some stuff in the freezer. 165 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:02,547 There's bagel bites, three cheese, cheese, sausage and pepperoni. 166 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,716 Stop treating me like I'm dad. 167 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,686 Well, you know, someone had to take care of him. 168 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,788 Look, if you want something else 169 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,223 there's pb & j or grilled cheese stuff. 170 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,224 I've been here a week. 171 00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,492 I know my food options. 172 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,926 Just go to class. 173 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:18,697 And there's pineapple and country crock. 174 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,131 Are you sure you're going to be okay? 175 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,833 Yeah. 176 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,001 Promise you're going to eat something, right, 177 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,002 - not just smoke? - Yeah. 178 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,506 Okay. 179 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,740 I'll see you in a couple of hours. 180 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,576 Have a great meeting. 181 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,646 Hey, shan, I just want to say that, you know, 182 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,048 I'm hella proud of you 183 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,284 that you're getting your life back together. 184 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,052 I know you're going to make it. 185 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,954 I mean look at me. 186 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,890 Thanks, dummy. 187 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:48,126 Okay, see you, wouldn't want to be you. 188 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,228 I don't mean it. 189 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,898 I'll be back, the Terminator. 190 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,833 I'll be back. 191 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:58,303 Like, I'm going to come back after the gym. 192 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,189 - Hey. - Hey. 193 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,992 Thanks for the text but you were supposed to call, not come over. 194 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,627 Oh. 195 00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,329 Sorry, well, I'm here now so come on out. 196 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,830 Let's fuck like horny teenagers. 197 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,732 Come on. Come on. 198 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,701 Uh... 199 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,571 Yeah, no. I can't because I forgot tonight was date night. 200 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,739 Julie is coming home and we're going to play "scrabble." 201 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,341 What? God. 202 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,276 - Your wife sucks. - Yeah, I know. 203 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,679 Everything but your dick. 204 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,882 I stayed in that hotel room for two weeks 205 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,317 so that my sister wouldn't know I got kicked out 206 00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,152 of rehab for you. 207 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,820 Yeah, I'm the one who forged the release papers 208 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:49,854 so the court wouldn't be all over your ass. 209 00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,256 It was the least you could do. 210 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,624 I'm pretty sure therapists aren't supposed 211 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,225 to fuck their rehab patients. 212 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,294 Therapists are screwed up people. Everybody knows that. 213 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,363 You're the one who Sharon stoned me in the office, remember? 214 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,231 - That's hot. - It was very hot. 215 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,833 "Basic instinct" is a great movie. 216 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,134 But I can't. 217 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,669 You said when I get back to my sister's, 218 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,905 we'd be back on a regular schedule. 219 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,306 I need to get laid. 220 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,308 You know, I think as your therapist 221 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,912 you should probably go to a meeting tonight, okay? 222 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,048 I'm wet. 223 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,752 Fine, meetings are great places to get laid. 224 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,621 Okay, I can fuck you in the car 225 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,789 but I have 10 minutes and that's it. Let's go. 226 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:35,333 From your hips. From your hips. 227 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,235 Watch your footwork. 228 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,277 I promise I won't make you do more. 229 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,985 Okay. Um... 230 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,188 Okay. 231 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,791 Krav Maga. We have one rule, one rule only. 232 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,660 Never stop fighting! 233 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,762 - Hiya! - Hiya! 234 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,296 Thank you. 235 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,298 I'm here mondays, 236 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,735 wednesdays, Fridays at 8:00 P.M., weekends I'm here at noon. 237 00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,270 The rest of the time 238 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:16,041 I'm studying to become a nun so don't bother me. 239 00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,680 - Hello. - Hey, Kelly. Great class. 240 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,249 Amazing focus tonight. Really. 241 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,318 I'm totally rethinking my plan of knifing you in an alley. 242 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,821 I didn't know you had that plan. 243 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,190 Hey have you seen Alicia around? 244 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,792 I just thought that I would see her 245 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,760 'cause she usually works out at night. 246 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:36,928 I mean, thank God I didn't 'cause it's just... 247 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,163 it's weird because, you know, 248 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,898 she can't work out in the morning. 249 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:40,899 And she doesn't get down with her paralegal stuff 250 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,834 until like 7:00. 251 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,302 And then she can only really work out between 7:30 and 8:30 252 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,904 because she has to watch "the good wife" at 9:00. 253 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,906 And she's not here. 254 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,375 I haven't seen her. 255 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,876 I probably shouldn't tell you this 256 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,344 but I really think I pulled something 257 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,447 like, I mean gluts back there. 258 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:58,983 I probably shouldn't have had those beers pre-class. 259 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,219 That's okay. 260 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,989 Why don't we go somewhere and continue having beers? 261 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,759 And then get some thai food or something. 262 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,960 Do you want to do that? 263 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,495 I love thai. 264 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,064 It's just it sucks because I can't tonight so, 265 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,999 you know, my sister is back 266 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,935 and I just... I don't want to leave her home alone too long. 267 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,002 She's still fragile. 268 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,938 Okay, cool. 269 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,974 I mean not cool that she's fragile or whatever. I'm sorry... 270 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,476 what's up, shorties? 271 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,077 What? 272 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,415 I was just trying to make some small talk. 273 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,783 Bye. 274 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,852 Bye. 275 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:39,257 Today we're talking about our bottoms, so p.s. On the tops. 276 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,093 Watch the trigger material, please. 277 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,895 Sorry, Denise. 278 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,998 Talking about our rock bottoms. 279 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,267 I was living a pretty awesome life. 280 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,303 I worked at "the Oprah show" in Chicago. 281 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,305 I started as an assistant, 282 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,274 worked my way up to associate producer. 283 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276 I was making a lot of money. 284 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,781 And I was doing a lot of blow, like, a lot of blow. 285 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,783 And you know how blow is. It's very slimming. 286 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,318 I had like abs to my neck. 287 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,889 I looked like a fucking Pakistani mark-Paul Gosselaar. 288 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:14,192 That's Zack Morris from "saved by the bell." 289 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,560 Everything was going great. 290 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:21,332 I had that shit on lock, or so I thought. 291 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,334 Cut to two years later 292 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,805 and I wake up completely naked in an abandoned construction site 293 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,407 outside of wrigley field. 294 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,042 How did I get there? 295 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,212 I don't know. I don't even like baseball. 296 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,116 Anyway when I... 297 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,020 Did make it to work that day, I got fired. 298 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,956 Oprah was very strict about that. 299 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:49,460 I was this close to Oprah, literally this close. 300 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,063 She would walk right by me. 301 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,133 And I threw it all away for drugs and dick... 302 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:59,170 mediocre, mediocre dick. 303 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,371 Pretty good drugs though. 304 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,275 Thank you. 305 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,078 I don't, like, consider losing a job a bottom. 306 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,112 It wasn't just any job. 307 00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,547 It was a job with Oprah winfrey. 308 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,283 Who gives a shit about Oprah? 309 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,551 America. 310 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,986 She's a bitch. 311 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,559 Shan, the smog index is at 2. 312 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,962 It's a great day. Get up. 313 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,964 Hey, shan, 314 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:29,033 I laid out your uniform and the shower's hot and ready for you. 315 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,168 I'm going to make us breakfast. 316 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,302 Okay. 317 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,637 You need to get up. 318 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,906 I heard you. 319 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,208 I'm employee of the month so I don't want to be late. 320 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,943 I know you don't. 321 00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,481 You shouldn't eat that crap. 322 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,285 You know, you've been edgy all morning, shan. 323 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,520 I thought those meetings were supposed to help mellow you out. 324 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,957 It's called progress not perfection. 325 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:56,060 And I don't change the fact that I still live in this shit bowl. 326 00:14:56,062 --> 00:15:00,031 Hey, if you hate Fresno so much why did you come back? 327 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,067 Obviously because I've made a series of poor life decisions. 328 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,536 Look, positive thinking means positive results. 329 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,173 Hey, I own a home. That's my American dream. 330 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,377 Location, location, location. 331 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:28,359 Hey, Nancy. 332 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,498 We're actually going down. 333 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,599 Oh, yeah? 334 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,102 I'll take the ride with you. 335 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,437 You're new here. 336 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:43,441 I know everyone who works in the hotel. So... 337 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,576 How do you like the job so far? 338 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,112 I clean rooms. How do you think I like it? 339 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,113 Right. 340 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,016 Enjoy your burrito. 341 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,685 Have a great day, ladies. 342 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,192 I hate that guy. He's always here with prostitutes. 343 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,261 Prostitutes have to eat too. 344 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,096 Well, he's gross. 345 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,598 He's fine. Don't be so judgmental. 346 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,300 We're still not cleaning 400. 347 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,337 His room smells like burnt hair and he reuses old condoms. 348 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,638 Nobody does that. 349 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,073 He does. 350 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,975 - Shan. - What? 351 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,677 He hangs them over the shower rod like wiener cozies. 352 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,646 Well, that's foul. 353 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,481 I appreciate your creativity right now 354 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,550 but this isn't an art project. This is a professional job. 355 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,185 You told me to stock my cart. 356 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,587 I am stocking my cart. 357 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,022 You're over-stocking. 358 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,457 That is way too much toilet paper. 359 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,339 No one is going to go to the bathroom that much. 360 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,239 Um, you know, I'll take rooms 403 to 408. 361 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,674 Well, all right. 362 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,409 Are you sure you're going to be fine on your own? 363 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,478 I think I can clean pubes off soap by myself. 364 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,346 Thank you. 365 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,476 Hey, did you get that picture I sent you? 366 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,378 Yes, I did. You look very healthy. 367 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,247 You look very well hydrated. 368 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,782 I just posted it on Instagram. 369 00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,650 I have 10,000 new followers. 370 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:37,555 Listen, I have some very big news. 371 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,756 What is it? 372 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,691 I gave Julie the letter. 373 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,761 I'm finally out, like, really out. 374 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,064 Wait, why? What did you do? 375 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,765 I gave her the letter. I told her everything. 376 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,434 What? 377 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,635 You know, I didn't think I was going to be able 378 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,370 to do it but I saw the moment. 379 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,572 It sort of presented itself, and then I was present for it. 380 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,541 And it just kind of happened. 381 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,776 She didn't take it very well. 382 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,079 But, you know, that's going to be her thing. 383 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,381 I want to be a real couple, okay? 384 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,183 I want to go to movies with you 385 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,118 and sit at the same table in restaurants 386 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,553 and not have to fuck in the bush. 387 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,523 - What do you think? - Why would you do that? 388 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,260 Well, because you told me that you wanted me to leave my wife. 389 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,663 Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. 390 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,399 God! Who does that? Go back. 391 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,734 Well, I can't go back. I just told her and I'd... 392 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,536 go back, Edwin. 393 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,606 Shannon, I love you, all right? 394 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,808 I'm in this. You're in this too, right? 395 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,177 Look, I can't take this kind of pressure right now. 396 00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,846 Huh? What do you mean you can't take... 397 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,281 I'm not what... what? 398 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,510 Hey, can you come back in 10? 399 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,345 Do you want to fuck? 400 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,447 Hey, Alicia, it's Martha calling. 401 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,283 I was just calling 402 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,552 because I didn't see you at the gym last night 403 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,822 and that makes me really worried. 404 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,791 You call me champ, 405 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,833 and I'll fuck you so hard you'll come out your butt. 406 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,666 I thought about what you said 407 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,768 and I told her that you can only stay for two more weeks. 408 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:35,406 I mean, I haven't told her yet but I'm going to tell her, so... 409 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,441 But it would be really great to you about that. 410 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,318 Go... go to the bed. 411 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,692 Uh, I mean, I know you said you didn't want to talk. 412 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,863 So, if you feel like it, okay? 413 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,431 So, I don't know, 414 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,600 maybe we can hang out again soon or something 415 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,836 or just call me or text me. 416 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,608 - Get down. - Okay. 417 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,376 Yeah. 418 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,212 Gonna get it. 419 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,913 Okay, bye. 420 00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,740 Shannon? 421 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,621 Shannon? 422 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,860 Housekeeping. 423 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,677 Fire! Fire! Fire! 424 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:20,945 What the? What the fuck? 425 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,681 - Fire! - Get off... get off of her. 426 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,682 Shan! 427 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,384 You were right. 428 00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,687 - Tag team! - Get away from my little sister! 429 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,489 You still have your pussy, baby. 430 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:32,823 Jump back on my dick. 431 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,146 You're a disgusting piece of shit. 432 00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,730 Shan! 433 00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:40,998 No, no, no, shan. 434 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,533 God, what is wrong with you? 435 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,902 What is wrong with you? 436 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,738 What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck, shan? 437 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:48,806 - God. - Okay. 438 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,807 - Oh, my God. - Okay. Okay. 439 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,744 Okay. Okay. Shannon. 440 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:57,348 Is he dead? Holy shit, shit. 441 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,416 He's dead Shannon. 442 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,017 Did I just kill someone? 443 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,687 I don't hear anything, shan. 444 00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,988 Did I just fucking kill someone? 445 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,623 Calm, be calm. 446 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,625 - Oh, my God. - Okay. It's going to be okay. 447 00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,494 What am I going to do? What are we going to do? 448 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,829 He was raping you, right? 449 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,631 - Yes. - Right? Raping? 450 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,633 100% rape. 451 00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,435 That's was a rape. 452 00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,471 He was raping the shit out of me. 453 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,707 Okay, then he was raping you. 454 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,642 What are you doing? What? Martha! What are you doing? 455 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,044 What are you doing? Don't you put... 456 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,411 - I'm going to the front desk. - Don't even... 457 00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,414 front desk. 458 00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,350 What? Are you calling the front desk? 459 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,484 I'm telling them what happened. 460 00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,486 No, you're not. 461 00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,054 Hello? 462 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:40,524 - Hello? - We can blame this on our boss. 463 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,860 - Jerry? - Yeah, he would love jail. 464 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,462 It's very structured. 465 00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,596 He'd make friends. 466 00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,131 Hello? 467 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,400 Do you want me to go to jail? 468 00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,135 No, of course not. 469 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,937 Is that what you want? 'Cause let me tell you something, Martha. 470 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,506 I am a registered sex offender. 471 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:56,574 Do you understand that? 472 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,609 How do I prove that he raped me? 473 00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,478 I need your help. 474 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,580 Fine. 475 00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:03,914 We'll figure something out. 476 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:07,752 Excuse me. 477 00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,855 Yeah, I got a phone call. Is everything okay in there? 478 00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,690 Hello? 479 00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:15,126 Hello? This is kristen from the front desk. 480 00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:17,094 Is everything okay in there? 481 00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,763 Can you open up, please? 482 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:23,100 By law I need to check what is going on. 483 00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,668 Can I help you? 484 00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:26,504 Let me in. What's going on in there? 485 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,005 Nothing. I'm just cleaning. 486 00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:29,740 Oh really? 'Cause I got a strange call. 487 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,108 It sounded like a fight or something. 488 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,544 No, I'm just really intensely cleaning. 489 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,912 It's really dirty in here. 490 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,047 Okay, listen to me, if you were calling me 491 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,150 and you were pranking me, like in high school, 492 00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:40,951 that is grounds for dismissal here, missy. 493 00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:43,721 And I am sure that Jerry would love to hear about it. 494 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,623 Well, then why don't you go and tell him, kristen? 495 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:46,891 Good, I'm texting him right now with my other hand 496 00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,058 that you can't see. 497 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,461 - Whatever. - No. 498 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:56,767 We need to hurry. Jerry's coming. 499 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,569 - Okay. - What did you do? 500 00:23:58,571 --> 00:23:59,804 I'm just being respectful. He deserves some dignity. 501 00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,071 Everyone deserves some dignity. 502 00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,941 - Even rapists? - Yes, even rapists. 503 00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,709 Okay. 504 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:06,877 Pull harder. 505 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,823 Heading to 400, copy. 506 00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,191 Over and out, good buddy. 507 00:24:35,073 --> 00:24:36,707 Where are we taking him? 508 00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:38,476 The presidential suite is empty. 509 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,084 Lunch time. 510 00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:52,790 Good morning, ladies. 511 00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,197 Sorry. I don't know why she's barking. 512 00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:02,099 Shit sheets. 513 00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:04,535 The sheets are filled with shit. Yeah. 514 00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,669 Someone had an accident. 515 00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:06,904 A bachelor party. 516 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,772 Have a good day. Enjoy your stay here. 517 00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:16,947 Shit. He lives in Fresno. 518 00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,116 Hope he doesn't have family here 519 00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:21,118 and they don't come looking for him. 520 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,687 Maybe he doesn't have any family. Our parents are dead. 521 00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:26,757 You are the only person who would turn that into a positive. 522 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,225 Look at this. 523 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,562 Dude won a bronze in Beijing. 524 00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:33,197 You killed an olympian. 525 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,767 Only if you consider hammer throw a sport which... 526 00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:39,036 oh no. Fuck! 527 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,704 Who would call him? 528 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,139 Fuck! It's his sister. 529 00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,807 Okay, just give it to me. 530 00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:45,943 I'll just let it go to voice mail, then we'll... 531 00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,912 hello? 532 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,080 - I know you're there. - It's a really old phone. 533 00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,116 - I didn't know. - Hello? 534 00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:59,223 You have reached the voice-mail box of... 535 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:04,995 Boris lip-ka. 536 00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:08,165 At the tone leave a message. 537 00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:08,667 Beep! 538 00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,271 Hey. It's me. 539 00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,206 I know you're probably jerking off in your hotel room 540 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,342 like a disgusting pig right now, 541 00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:21,312 but you better come home for dad's birthday party today. 542 00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:24,048 I'm so fucking sick of dealing with these two invalids on my own! 543 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,250 You better be here by 3:00 544 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,719 or I swear I'll come get you myself. 545 00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:33,123 Okay, so they're not close and his parents are invalids. 546 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,658 I feel like this is good news. 547 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:35,993 When he doesn't show up at 3:00 548 00:26:35,995 --> 00:26:38,829 his sister is going to come looking for him. 549 00:26:38,831 --> 00:26:41,966 What if we dump his body at dry creek canal 550 00:26:41,968 --> 00:26:43,233 and make it look a suicide? 551 00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:45,069 Isn't that where everyone dumps bodies? 552 00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:46,971 How are we going to do that? 553 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:04,722 Of course, the rapist has a rapist van. 554 00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:06,124 Let's hurry up and get him in there. 555 00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,300 Look, shan, he was trying to be a good person. 556 00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,735 He was in to yoga. 557 00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,336 We can still go to the police. 558 00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:20,838 We're not going to the police, okay? 559 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,273 We're dumping the body at dry creek. 560 00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:25,876 Unless you can find his parents' address in his phone. 561 00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:27,277 And then... then what? 562 00:27:27,279 --> 00:27:29,847 Just put him on the doorstep, ring the bell? 563 00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:32,049 "Happy Birthday! Here's your dead son." 564 00:27:32,051 --> 00:27:34,118 Calm down, all right? 565 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,420 Calm down. 566 00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:39,423 Just figure out a different way to make his body disappear. 567 00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:41,091 Give me the phone. Just give it to me. 568 00:27:44,696 --> 00:27:47,164 All right, here it is. 569 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,700 Mom and dad's address, boom and boom. 570 00:27:49,702 --> 00:27:51,969 What are we going to do when we get there? 571 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,871 I have a plan. 572 00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:08,285 Use your key! 573 00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:12,089 Who are you? 574 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,991 I'm a friend of Boris's, as you must be his sister. 575 00:28:13,993 --> 00:28:15,793 - Yes, I am. - I'm his friend. 576 00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:17,761 Boris doesn't have any friends. 577 00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:20,731 I'm his sister and I'm not even his friend. 578 00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,099 Well... 579 00:28:29,974 --> 00:28:32,910 - well... - Where is he? 580 00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:37,888 Uh... He's... Boris is more than a friend to me. 581 00:28:37,914 --> 00:28:39,817 I'm his life guru. 582 00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:42,352 Oh, this is good. So he's got a life coach now? 583 00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:43,420 Guru. 584 00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:44,822 Oh, guru. 585 00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,290 - Yeah. - Interesting. 586 00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,858 So what kind of stuff do you advise him on? 587 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,326 The best prostitutes to fuck? 588 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,961 I can see why you would say that 589 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,997 and that has been his painful reality for some time, 590 00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:55,733 but I'm hoping with my help and guidance 591 00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:59,169 we can move him through that and I can help him change. 592 00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,004 Well, it's too bad that he wasn't here 593 00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:03,507 to help me when I was changing pop's diapers, huh? 594 00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:05,109 Couldn't help him with that I guess, right? 595 00:29:05,111 --> 00:29:06,977 Are you feeling a lot of pain? 596 00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,245 - Yes. - Can I come in? 597 00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:13,083 Okay, come in. 598 00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:17,955 Guru, guru. 599 00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:18,956 Yes, I'm a... 600 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:21,892 guru, guru. 601 00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:23,794 Guru. 602 00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:29,933 Guru, guru, guru. 603 00:29:36,308 --> 00:29:38,976 So I'm here to represent Boris. 604 00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:42,980 And he... he has come to the realization 605 00:29:42,982 --> 00:29:45,115 that he has been living in the past. 606 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:48,118 And although winning an olympic bronze medal 607 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,020 is a major life achievement, 608 00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,790 he's never been able to really move past this. 609 00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:59,229 So we've decided that's it's due to fear of failure. 610 00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,831 He's afraid of failing! 611 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:07,404 So we've decided the best thing for Boris 612 00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:12,209 right now in order for him to start over is to leave Fresno forever. 613 00:30:12,211 --> 00:30:14,211 To never ever come back, 614 00:30:14,213 --> 00:30:17,247 to sever all ties with his family 615 00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:20,284 and to never ever talk to you again. 616 00:30:27,860 --> 00:30:30,561 This is what I have to deal with all day long. 617 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:35,265 He requested that I give you his backpack. 618 00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:01,491 Boris, don't leave me here! 619 00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:04,394 Boris is so sorry that he has to leave the family, 620 00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:05,629 but he knows it's the only way 621 00:31:05,631 --> 00:31:07,064 he's going to be able to grow up. 622 00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,467 Poopy! 623 00:31:11,936 --> 00:31:13,637 You better... 624 00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:17,541 you think she bought it? 625 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,443 I think so. But this will help. 626 00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,512 "Sell this and get out of Fresno. 627 00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:25,983 I love you. But I can't change another diaper." 628 00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,584 X-o-x-o, Boris. 629 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:30,320 Yeah, sounds good. 630 00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:32,456 What should we do with him? Should we just leave him here? 631 00:31:32,458 --> 00:31:35,893 No, dumb-ass we should roll him back to the hotel 632 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,294 and figure something out. 633 00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,229 God, shan, do you just have to smoke all the time? 634 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,098 Yes, I do. 635 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,299 You know, we're in the middle of a serious drought, right? 636 00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,101 Yes. 637 00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:46,336 I mean, do you just want the whole place to go up in flames? 638 00:31:46,338 --> 00:31:50,173 Actually, yeah. That would kind of solve our problem, if you think about it. 639 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:54,177 We know somebody who has a place right around here. 640 00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:56,179 We do? 641 00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,119 Gerald? 642 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,387 What the fuck, Martha. 643 00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,589 Be quiet and admit it's a good idea. 644 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,258 All right. And you were saying the breed was a Dane? 645 00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,927 Great Dane. 646 00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:11,695 - A great one? - Yeah, that's why he's so big. 647 00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:12,963 Okay. So... 648 00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:19,670 You do remember? 649 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,607 Come on, man. My sister. 650 00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:25,008 I'm sorry. 651 00:32:25,010 --> 00:32:26,443 - Hey, what's going on? - Hey. 652 00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,078 Hey. 653 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,680 These are old friends of mine, Shannon and Martha. 654 00:32:29,682 --> 00:32:31,682 Is this the scooter girl? 655 00:32:31,684 --> 00:32:33,383 How did you know that? 656 00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:35,619 You told me about her on one of our first dates. 657 00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:37,087 Wow. You really listen to me. 658 00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:38,489 I listen to you when you talk, baby. 659 00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,257 But you look the other way. It's incredible. 660 00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:41,591 Yeah. 661 00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,493 What's in the bin? 662 00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:46,330 Really hope it's a dead dog because we could use the cash. 663 00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:48,198 Sensitivity, honey, please. 664 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,667 I'm sorry. We really hope it's your dead dog. Please? 665 00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:52,269 That's Boris. He just passed away, 666 00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:54,204 so we're hoping to get him cremated. 667 00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,106 Gerald was saying we could have the friends and my family discount. 668 00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,008 I'm sorry. 669 00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:01,278 You know, this is the reason why we're stuck here. 670 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,747 This, bullshit friends and family thing. 671 00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:07,384 Not everyone is your family and almost no one is your friend. 672 00:33:07,386 --> 00:33:09,519 Can we walk around the cemetery and do this. It's just... 673 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:13,757 we also... we need to get the bin cremated too. 674 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:16,760 There are no discounts and the bin is extra. 675 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,062 That's fine. 676 00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,731 We can pay. 677 00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:22,532 Okay. Hand me the tape measure. 678 00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:24,468 For what? Why do you need the... why do need the tape measure? 679 00:33:24,470 --> 00:33:26,036 - We have to measure for the... - We already know. 680 00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:27,337 No, we measured him. 681 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:28,638 It's the average size of a great Dane. 682 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,073 It's five foot, something, something. 683 00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:32,409 Just charge us a great Dane price. 684 00:33:32,411 --> 00:33:34,144 The extra, extra large. It's fine. 685 00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,046 - You guys can leave. - You don't have to measure him. 686 00:33:36,048 --> 00:33:38,289 - You don't have to measure him. - I have to measure him. 687 00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:40,751 What the fuck? 688 00:33:40,753 --> 00:33:42,652 We said don't measure it! 689 00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:50,560 I'm sorry. We need to call the cops. 690 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:51,795 What for? 691 00:33:51,797 --> 00:33:53,397 - I'm with Ruby. - Shut up. 692 00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,265 We own a business, all right? 693 00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:57,501 We can lose everything! There's a human body in here. 694 00:33:57,503 --> 00:33:59,302 I understand that, okay? Listen. 695 00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:01,304 - Do you understand that? - Yes, I do. 696 00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:03,640 Well, I'm the business person here, okay? 697 00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,776 We agreed... we agreed on that. 698 00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:08,145 And I say we don't call the cops. 699 00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:09,780 Because if we call the cops, what's going to happen? 700 00:34:09,782 --> 00:34:11,715 Nothing's going to... they're going to go jail 701 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,283 and we're not going to get anything. 702 00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:14,451 No reward. 703 00:34:14,453 --> 00:34:15,653 I mean, you think that the guy 704 00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:17,120 who found the slave girls in Ohio? 705 00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,221 - Ohio? - Ariel Castro. 706 00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:19,589 Yeah. Do you think that that guy... 707 00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:22,092 did he get anything? Because he didn't. 708 00:34:22,094 --> 00:34:23,727 No. Uh-uh. 709 00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,829 He got, like, a hug from a little white girl 710 00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,497 and then he got, 711 00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:28,732 like, an embarrassing interview like got auto-tuned 712 00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:29,833 and, like, put all over YouTube. 713 00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:31,268 That's not what we want. 714 00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,602 No, not at all. 715 00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,572 We're going to blackmail these two bitches. 716 00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:37,107 Are you kidding? 717 00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:39,576 We want 25,000 to get out of this butt crack 718 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:40,677 and we want it by Sunday. 719 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,546 What? 720 00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:44,114 There's no way we can come up with 25k in three days. 721 00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,449 We're in Fresno. 722 00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:47,584 - Yeah. - I'm pretty sure you can. 723 00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:50,854 You seem very resourceful. So three days, 25,000. 724 00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:52,556 - 25? - We can go to Detroit with that. 725 00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:54,124 We could definitely go to Detroit. 726 00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:56,126 We could move there and we set up shop and... 727 00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,495 and guess what, you get a cremation out of it. 728 00:34:58,497 --> 00:34:59,696 You know how good we are at cremation? 729 00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:01,331 We're really good at them. 730 00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,233 A funeral service like you will not believe. 731 00:35:03,235 --> 00:35:05,869 But, you know, if you don't get the money then 732 00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:10,240 you're going to be charged for manslaughter, so there's that. 733 00:35:10,242 --> 00:35:11,541 What about a payment plan? 734 00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:12,609 Nobody even has that. 735 00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,311 Layaway? 736 00:35:14,313 --> 00:35:16,513 Can I give you a little bit advice as far as bodies go? 737 00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:20,484 That guy is going to rot if you don't get him on ice. 738 00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:21,785 That's all. It just happens. 739 00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:24,788 It's biology. 740 00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:27,290 What a stupid ass idea. 741 00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:28,592 Gerald. 742 00:35:28,594 --> 00:35:30,460 Come on, he burns things for a living, okay? 743 00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,363 For $25,000! And they'll probably still turn us in. 744 00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:34,564 They're not turning us in. 745 00:35:34,566 --> 00:35:36,500 She said she wants out of Fresno. 746 00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:39,870 The only way to get 25k is dealing drugs or prostitution. 747 00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:43,673 I just paid thousands to put you in rehab 748 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,242 and I double mortgaged my house. 749 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,577 You're not becoming a prostitute. 750 00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:49,679 I'm not having sex. I'll be your pimp. 751 00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:51,548 I'm not touching sweaty balls! 752 00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:53,650 They're not always sweaty. 753 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,520 Just pretend they're tiny little boobs. 754 00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,188 Okay fine. What about this? 755 00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:00,390 What if we pull the fire alarm in the hotel 756 00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,725 and steal it from the front desk? 757 00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,527 I won't jeopardize my job. 758 00:36:03,529 --> 00:36:04,861 Listen! If we don't get rid of this body 759 00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:06,463 that we're going to go to jail 760 00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:07,831 and you won't even have a job, right? 761 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,266 Yeah, well, thanks. Thanks to your smoking, 762 00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:10,834 I for sure lost my V.I.P. Parking spot. 763 00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:12,802 Okay. 764 00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:15,839 This is good. People only pay in cash at sex shops. 765 00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:17,941 Let's rob it. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 766 00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:20,644 It's good. 767 00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:25,215 I can barely see. 768 00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:27,584 D.I.Y. Toilet paper, it's genius. 769 00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:30,587 I know this place and the workers are always high. 770 00:36:30,589 --> 00:36:33,757 It's easy money. Come on. 771 00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:35,792 This is stupid, shan, we look ridiculous. 772 00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:45,602 Does anybody work here? 773 00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:47,537 Does anybody work here? 774 00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,306 Yeah, sorry smoke break. 775 00:36:51,275 --> 00:36:52,909 Oh, I like the T.P. On your head. 776 00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:54,544 It's all rapey and sexy. 777 00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:56,379 I am very into scat. 778 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,348 I need you to come over here right now 779 00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:00,750 and open this cash register and I need all the cash, now. 780 00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:01,918 Yeah, get over here. 781 00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,927 Who knew sex shops were such a cash poor business. 782 00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:12,963 These dildos have got to be worth something. 783 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:17,894 Come on, let's go. 784 00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,700 I can't believe we only made $400. 785 00:38:23,702 --> 00:38:26,436 It's fair to say we overestimated the market. 786 00:38:26,438 --> 00:38:27,871 That's a fucking understatement. 787 00:38:27,873 --> 00:38:29,506 Lesbians are poor. 788 00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,474 They always are and they always will be. 789 00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:33,576 Shan, don't be homophobic right now, okay? 790 00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:34,911 I only tell the truth. 791 00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,546 Well here's the truth. 792 00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:39,349 Whose great idea was it to rob a sex shop, okay? 793 00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,750 It's wasn't mine. That was yours. 794 00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:42,519 Let me remind you. That was my second idea. 795 00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:43,953 My first was to rob hotel rooms, 796 00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,955 but somebody was too scared of getting in trouble. 797 00:38:45,957 --> 00:38:47,824 You know what? 798 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,592 Why don't you take these dildos and shove them up your ass? 799 00:38:49,594 --> 00:38:50,794 Oh, that's a really nice thing to say 800 00:38:50,796 --> 00:38:53,530 to a recovering sex addict. 801 00:38:53,532 --> 00:38:55,332 Could you not be so annoying right now... 802 00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:56,800 you stop being so annoying! 803 00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,336 Stop it! Stop. 804 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:00,370 You want to get titty fucked? 805 00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:01,838 I'll titty fuck you! 806 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,606 - Titty fuck this! - No! Okay! You're going down. 807 00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:06,042 - Oh, my God. Ow! - Yeah. 808 00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:07,877 What are you doing? Get off me! 809 00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:10,013 - No, it's my turn to hurt you. - What did I ever do to you? 810 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,981 We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. 811 00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:13,850 Oh, sure. Blame me for everything while you're at it. 812 00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:15,919 Blame me for mom dying of cancer and dad 813 00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:18,088 drinking himself to death. Ow! 814 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:19,989 I already do! 815 00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:28,131 Where are you going? 816 00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:30,834 Where are you going? 817 00:39:30,836 --> 00:39:32,869 We still have a rotting corpse to deal with. 818 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:34,704 You know what? 819 00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,374 Just turn me in because I don't give a shit anymore. 820 00:39:37,376 --> 00:39:39,409 Fuck! 821 00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:14,744 Give me one of those. 822 00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:17,914 You're welcome. 823 00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,949 Am I supposed to say thank you? 824 00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:21,785 Most people would. 825 00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:25,922 From what your sister says, you're not most people. 826 00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:28,124 Well, Martha needs to learn her fucking mouth shut. 827 00:40:28,126 --> 00:40:29,826 Whoa! Whoa! 828 00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:31,161 Language. 829 00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:35,532 Look, I know it can be difficult, 830 00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:39,569 but, you know, your sister's pulling for you. 831 00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:40,770 She's a good person. 832 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,938 How do you know? 833 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,540 She helped me quit smoking weed. 834 00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:45,608 It doesn't look like she was very helpful. 835 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,013 I used to smoke weed like all the time. 836 00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,181 I never get any writing done. 837 00:40:51,183 --> 00:40:54,083 Now I just smoke before and after work, 838 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,085 and I get stuff done. 839 00:40:56,087 --> 00:41:00,023 In rehab we had more of an all-or-nothing approach 840 00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:03,226 with a little bit of higher powers 841 00:41:03,228 --> 00:41:06,162 surrender yourself bullshit peppered in. 842 00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:07,764 Does it work? 843 00:41:07,766 --> 00:41:09,799 It seems to if you believe you have a problem. 844 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:14,604 So what do you write? 845 00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:19,108 Uh... I write poetry. 846 00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,044 Really? 847 00:41:21,046 --> 00:41:23,513 So you're all deep and shit? 848 00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:25,782 I don't know, maybe. 849 00:41:25,784 --> 00:41:28,785 Well, let's hear one. 850 00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,053 Fresno. 851 00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:31,688 I don't like it already. 852 00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:36,893 Fresno. 853 00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:40,163 Lord, why is it so hot? 854 00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,131 Did you mean for it to be this hot? 855 00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:44,834 Or did you leave the house in a hurry and Fresno 856 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,036 was the oven you forget to turn off? 857 00:41:47,038 --> 00:41:48,538 Fresno. 858 00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:51,140 Yes, that smell is dead animal. 859 00:41:51,142 --> 00:41:53,276 Do you like it? 860 00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:54,944 Fresno. 861 00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:59,082 Where is stuff, like, anything? 862 00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:03,520 Fresno, where the best job I could get is the worse job 863 00:42:03,522 --> 00:42:05,121 I've ever had. 864 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:08,057 No, hotel guest, I cannot tell you where anything is. 865 00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:13,229 If knew where anything else was, I'd be there. 866 00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:15,131 Fresno. 867 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,909 Come on! 868 00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,578 Come on, Martha. My dead grandma could kick harder than you. 869 00:42:36,854 --> 00:42:37,887 There we go! 870 00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,789 Come on! 871 00:42:42,593 --> 00:42:47,130 So, like sands through the hourglass, 872 00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:50,567 so are the days of our lives. 873 00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:52,302 That's plagiarism. 874 00:42:52,304 --> 00:42:53,636 I literally wrote that. 875 00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:54,971 Whether you believe it or not. 876 00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:56,873 - I think so. - That's so lame. 877 00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,141 That's partially. 878 00:42:58,143 --> 00:43:00,043 I think you don't know enough about prose 879 00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:01,811 to really give me an accurate critique. 880 00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:03,313 I know about pros. I know about pro baseball players. 881 00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:05,949 I know about pro basketball players. I know about... 882 00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:08,651 I'm off work, like now. 883 00:43:08,653 --> 00:43:11,287 Do you want to go do something? 884 00:43:11,289 --> 00:43:12,755 I do. 885 00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,157 Okay, everyone in a circle. 886 00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:16,693 Yes. Faster, faster, faster, faster! 887 00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,968 Krav Maga. We have one rule, one rule only. 888 00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:26,803 Never stop fighting! 889 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,011 - Hiyah. - Hiyah. 890 00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:39,849 Thank you. Bryan email me, Wednesday about privates. 891 00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,351 We'll work it out. 892 00:43:41,353 --> 00:43:43,252 - Okay. - Cool. 893 00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:46,823 How long has Alicia been with that dude? 894 00:43:46,825 --> 00:43:47,991 I don't know. 895 00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:51,127 I don't really talk to them. 896 00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,762 You were at that softball thing. 897 00:43:52,764 --> 00:43:54,263 Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't want to interrupt. 898 00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,099 You there with your date. 899 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:59,235 Yeah. Tanya is just a friend. 900 00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:00,703 See you tomorrow. 901 00:44:00,705 --> 00:44:02,672 - Yup. - He's the worst. 902 00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:04,941 Tomorrow? What's tomorrow? 903 00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:06,643 Oh, my God, please tell me 904 00:44:06,645 --> 00:44:08,411 you are going to Noah's bar Mitzvah tomorrow night? 905 00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:10,913 I actually wasn't even invited. 906 00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,715 Well, lucky you. 907 00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:17,654 Noah's parents pay for privates so I have to go. 908 00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:19,288 And you have to come with me. 909 00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,224 Like as your fake date? 910 00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:23,926 No, as a real date. 911 00:44:23,928 --> 00:44:25,828 Is that a yes? 912 00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:31,367 Whoa! Whoa. 913 00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:34,804 - What? - Let's... do you want to... 914 00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:36,305 - let's... - Let's go to the desk. 915 00:44:36,307 --> 00:44:38,374 No, that's not what I mean. 916 00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:40,143 Can we just slow down a little bit. 917 00:44:40,145 --> 00:44:42,378 - What? - Please, can we just slow down? 918 00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:45,748 Are you... what, tell me you're not gay? 919 00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:47,417 No. I mean, no. I mean, no. 920 00:44:47,419 --> 00:44:50,186 Let's talk. Just talk, okay? 921 00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,155 Oh God, you are gay. 922 00:44:52,157 --> 00:44:53,723 No. My God. 923 00:44:56,393 --> 00:44:57,760 I don't know why I'm telling you this, 924 00:44:57,762 --> 00:45:01,764 but... Jesus... 925 00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,733 I haven't slept with anyone 926 00:45:03,735 --> 00:45:05,168 since me and girlfriend broke up a couple of months ago. 927 00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,335 Seriously? 928 00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,804 Yeah. 929 00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:08,871 Do you, like, not like condoms or something? 930 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,139 No. 931 00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:11,240 Do you want a drink? I'm going to have... 932 00:45:11,242 --> 00:45:12,275 what is wrong with you? 933 00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:13,743 What the fuck! 934 00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:15,144 Oh, my God. Martha, would be so pissed. 935 00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:17,080 Do you want to go back to rehab? 936 00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:20,183 I'm a sex addict, not an alcoholic, asshole. 937 00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,385 - Really? - Yeah, really. 938 00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,088 I don't... that's a thing? 939 00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:27,323 I thought that was made up by Tiger Woods or something. 940 00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:29,392 Don't be a dumb-ass. 941 00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:31,127 Okay. Well... 942 00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,196 wait, just wait. 943 00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:36,833 The things is that's I'm really trying to manage my addiction, 944 00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,367 just like you are, 945 00:45:38,369 --> 00:45:41,404 so will you just touch my boob just for one minute, please? 946 00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:43,306 I don't... I just feel like maybe... 947 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:52,882 what the fuck? 948 00:45:52,884 --> 00:45:54,484 We were just about to watch a movie. 949 00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:04,994 I can't believe you brought him in here, Shannon. 950 00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,996 He didn't see anything. 951 00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:09,365 Yeah, he's a good guy. He deserves better. 952 00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:10,500 No offense. 953 00:46:10,502 --> 00:46:12,201 Go to sleep. 954 00:46:12,203 --> 00:46:13,402 I can't sleep. 955 00:46:16,073 --> 00:46:17,874 Kelly invited me to a bar Mitzvah tomorrow night 956 00:46:17,876 --> 00:46:21,277 and it's freaking me out. 957 00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:23,513 I'm glad you're thinking about chicks instead 958 00:46:23,515 --> 00:46:25,848 of our shit ass predicament. 959 00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:28,284 The bar Mitzvah is in this hotel tomorrow night. 960 00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:30,219 So? 961 00:46:30,221 --> 00:46:32,355 So kids make a lot of money at these things, Shannon. 962 00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:36,859 That's genius. 963 00:46:36,861 --> 00:46:38,027 Yeah, it is. 964 00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,495 You want to Jack the bar Mitzvah? 965 00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:43,533 What do we do? 966 00:46:43,535 --> 00:46:45,301 Okay, look. 967 00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:49,472 I'll just go with Kelly and then you can crash it. 968 00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:52,375 No. I can't go alone. 969 00:46:52,377 --> 00:46:54,010 I'll bring Eric. 970 00:46:54,012 --> 00:46:55,945 Okay. You can't tell him anything. 971 00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:57,513 I'll get him to help us. I won't tell him anything. 972 00:46:57,515 --> 00:47:00,082 I'll just make something up. 973 00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:02,852 I know he'll do it. He's so into me. 974 00:47:06,423 --> 00:47:07,523 Just go to bed. 975 00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:13,029 Jerry, I have some guests locked out of room 402 976 00:47:13,031 --> 00:47:15,064 and I'm getting no response from housekeeping. 977 00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:31,247 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 978 00:47:31,249 --> 00:47:32,915 Shan, wake up. Shan. 979 00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:35,518 - Please, stop it. - Shan. Shan, it's Jerry. 980 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,621 - What is it? - Oh God, this really sucks. 981 00:47:38,623 --> 00:47:43,226 - Shit. - Okay, okay. 982 00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:45,328 Okay, listen. 983 00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:47,230 I'll deal with Jerry. 984 00:47:47,232 --> 00:47:48,632 You go home and get the stuff, okay? 985 00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,299 Okay. 986 00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:51,400 You got to get the dresses for the bar Mitzvah. 987 00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:53,202 What about the dead guy? 988 00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:55,238 Just make sure you keep fresh ice on him, okay? 989 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,572 Okay. 990 00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:58,074 Okay. Come on. 991 00:47:58,076 --> 00:48:00,309 - Wake up. - Don't do that. 992 00:48:00,311 --> 00:48:01,978 It's a big day, shan. 993 00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:04,046 I know. I'm so nervous. 994 00:48:15,292 --> 00:48:16,659 Hello? 995 00:48:16,661 --> 00:48:18,060 It's me. What are you doing? 996 00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:20,029 - I'm working. - Okay. 997 00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:21,163 Well, Martha's not here and home alone 998 00:48:21,165 --> 00:48:23,199 so can you come over and fuck me? 999 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:26,602 So, now that like I've told totally fucked up my marriage, 1000 00:48:26,604 --> 00:48:28,070 now you want back in? 1001 00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,139 No, no, no, no. I just... no. No. I... 1002 00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:32,174 or are you just fucking someone else now? 1003 00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:34,143 No, no baby. That's not it at all. 1004 00:48:34,145 --> 00:48:36,345 I'm just... I'm alone now and this is a perfect time. 1005 00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:38,314 Because I know that you always do this. 1006 00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:40,116 Do what? 1007 00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:41,984 Come groveling back as soon as you're seeing somebody new. 1008 00:48:41,986 --> 00:48:44,086 Baby, listen to me. Listen right now. I don't want... 1009 00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:47,356 you need to start facing your fears and your feelings. 1010 00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:48,991 You're just going to keep hurting yourself 1011 00:48:48,993 --> 00:48:50,359 and everybody around you. 1012 00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:52,295 Well, that's the long way to say no. 1013 00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:53,462 Shan, I have to go. 1014 00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,034 - Ow! - It's going to look good. 1015 00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,936 I'm going to get it nice and straight. 1016 00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,137 Ow! 1017 00:49:01,139 --> 00:49:02,138 Stop yelling. 1018 00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:03,539 It doesn't hurt. 1019 00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:05,508 Sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. 1020 00:49:05,510 --> 00:49:07,076 About the bar Mitzvah? 1021 00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,477 Eric's going to help us. 1022 00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:14,150 Think you've ever been in love? 1023 00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:16,585 I'm not good with emotions. 1024 00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:18,654 As soon as I start to get close to someone, 1025 00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,489 I just... I feel crowded 1026 00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:22,258 and I'm not attracted to them anymore. 1027 00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:23,993 How many guys you think you've been with? 1028 00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:29,165 - I don't know. - Like a ball park. 1029 00:49:29,167 --> 00:49:30,533 Like a hundred? 1030 00:49:30,535 --> 00:49:32,501 100 dicks? 1031 00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:36,005 Stupid thing is most of the time I don't even like the sex. 1032 00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:37,406 Then why do you do it? 1033 00:49:37,408 --> 00:49:39,241 I don't know. Like the pain of doing it 1034 00:49:39,243 --> 00:49:43,679 is not as bad as the emptiness of not doing it. 1035 00:49:43,681 --> 00:49:45,047 Does that make sense? 1036 00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,251 Martha. 1037 00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,021 Yeah. 1038 00:49:52,023 --> 00:49:54,690 I was a 100% wrong about your hair. 1039 00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:57,193 - What's the problem? - It's not good. 1040 00:49:59,529 --> 00:50:00,696 Do cousin it. 1041 00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,398 No, shan, I'm not going to do it. 1042 00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,600 - Yes, you are. - Shannon, I'm not doing it. 1043 00:50:04,602 --> 00:50:10,072 Do I look pretty for the bar Mitzvah party? 1044 00:50:22,652 --> 00:50:26,322 Hey, if tonight doesn't go too late maybe you could 1045 00:50:26,324 --> 00:50:28,124 come over and, I don't know, 1046 00:50:28,126 --> 00:50:30,126 watch "naked and afraid" with me or... 1047 00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,527 yeah, maybe. We'll see how it goes. 1048 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:34,330 Hey, ladies, it's dopey king. 1049 00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:35,598 Yeah, of course. 1050 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,300 Got you something, sir. 1051 00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,102 Oh, thanks. That's sweet. 1052 00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:42,104 I'll put it in my money box over there. 1053 00:50:42,106 --> 00:50:43,272 It's cash only. 1054 00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,141 Yeah, we heard. 1055 00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:47,743 Yeah. It's actually coupons for free privates. 1056 00:50:47,745 --> 00:50:49,745 Privates? You hitting on me boo? 1057 00:50:49,747 --> 00:50:51,080 I'm a man now, so it's copasetic. 1058 00:50:51,082 --> 00:50:53,082 Don't worry about it. 1059 00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:54,316 All right, all right. Take it easy, not in front of my date. 1060 00:50:54,318 --> 00:50:55,384 Don't talk to Kelly like that. 1061 00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:57,086 It's really rude, Noah. 1062 00:50:57,088 --> 00:50:59,288 Do you think you guys can make out on my next music video? 1063 00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:02,458 Google Gloria steinem and then ask us. 1064 00:51:02,460 --> 00:51:04,326 So how long will these things last? 1065 00:51:04,328 --> 00:51:06,796 About as long as a wedding reception, you know. 1066 00:51:06,798 --> 00:51:08,697 - Really? - Yeah. 1067 00:51:08,699 --> 00:51:10,232 I don't really know how long that is 1068 00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,634 because I've never been to a wedding. 1069 00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,836 Really? 1070 00:51:13,838 --> 00:51:16,772 I went to one, but it doesn't really count because we eloped. 1071 00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:18,240 You're married? 1072 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:21,077 Yeah. What? 1073 00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:22,244 I can be married. 1074 00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:24,080 I totally got married. 1075 00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:27,083 And nine days later I cheated on him and we got divorced. 1076 00:51:27,085 --> 00:51:31,520 Super romantic like I said, like a fairytale actually. 1077 00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:33,589 I'd read it cover to cover. 1078 00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,825 I'm thinking of pitching it as a children's book. 1079 00:51:35,827 --> 00:51:37,560 - Oh, you should. - Or y.A. 1080 00:51:37,562 --> 00:51:38,561 That's probably the better choice. 1081 00:51:38,563 --> 00:51:40,596 Yeah. 1082 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,706 Y'all ready for this? 1083 00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:52,141 I'm 13 now. 1084 00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:55,244 Whoo! 1085 00:51:55,246 --> 00:51:56,779 I want to thank my dad, 1086 00:51:56,781 --> 00:51:59,482 I want to thank my mom, and I want to thank my Bubby. 1087 00:51:59,484 --> 00:52:01,350 Okay, let's do this. 1088 00:52:01,352 --> 00:52:03,285 Come on boys. Cash money tour. 1089 00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:04,620 That's it, Noah. 1090 00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,255 Welcome to my Mitzvah! 1091 00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:47,429 That is enough. 1092 00:52:47,431 --> 00:52:48,831 That is enough. Hey. 1093 00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:51,333 - Quite enough! - I was in the dance, Noah! 1094 00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:52,868 Thank you for coming. 1095 00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:55,437 Why doesn't everyone get on the dance floor? 1096 00:52:55,439 --> 00:52:57,506 Let's dance to some appropriate music. 1097 00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,308 You're shaming yourself. 1098 00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:01,677 I thought that was going to be Bruno Mars. Get over here. 1099 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,547 You know what, now we gotta dance. 1100 00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:06,248 I don't dance. 1101 00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:07,449 I think we do. It's a part of the deal. 1102 00:53:07,451 --> 00:53:08,851 - I don't dance. - Come on. 1103 00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:10,953 I've never, never... 1104 00:53:15,626 --> 00:53:17,660 all right. Bring it in. Bring it in. 1105 00:53:26,836 --> 00:53:29,672 You have a really cute ass. 1106 00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:31,373 It's distracting. 1107 00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:35,611 Stop. It's a bar Mitzvah. There's kids around. 1108 00:53:35,613 --> 00:53:38,547 I'm serious. It's distracting. 1109 00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,782 My ass? 1110 00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,618 - Yes. - Oh, sure. 1111 00:53:42,620 --> 00:53:44,987 It's 'cause you work me out so good. 1112 00:54:00,303 --> 00:54:03,539 Hey, maybe we should take a breather. 1113 00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,708 - Okay. - Get a drink or something? 1114 00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:11,647 I'm going to use the ladies room. Don't go anywhere. 1115 00:54:11,649 --> 00:54:12,681 Uh-uh. 1116 00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,651 I, like, really like you. 1117 00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,022 And since you won't tell me 1118 00:54:20,024 --> 00:54:21,390 why you're being blackmailed I think it's only fair 1119 00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:23,292 I get to do this. 1120 00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:38,007 Excuse me. It's time to strap on the feedbags. 1121 00:54:38,009 --> 00:54:39,975 Dinner will be in about five minutes 1122 00:54:39,977 --> 00:54:43,545 if our very expensive catering company would just do their job. 1123 00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:46,482 Good luck. 1124 00:54:50,553 --> 00:54:52,988 Okay, alright. Ready? 1125 00:54:52,990 --> 00:54:54,857 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1126 00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,358 So? 1127 00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,795 So, you guys look pretty cute together. 1128 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,930 Yesterday, you were pissed because I was alone with him 1129 00:55:01,932 --> 00:55:03,032 and now you want us to get married. 1130 00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:04,366 No, shan, this is different. 1131 00:55:04,368 --> 00:55:07,336 He really likes you. I can tell. 1132 00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:10,572 I know. I think I should just fuck him and get it over with. 1133 00:55:10,574 --> 00:55:12,541 Will you not say that kind of shit all the time? 1134 00:55:15,779 --> 00:55:17,680 Okay. Eric's in position. 1135 00:55:22,552 --> 00:55:24,453 Okay, got it. 1136 00:55:38,768 --> 00:55:39,902 Are you okay there? 1137 00:55:39,904 --> 00:55:40,969 Ahh! 1138 00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:42,571 A woman is choking here! 1139 00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:44,740 - Oh my God! - Someone help her, please! 1140 00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:46,408 Is anyone here a doctor? 1141 00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:47,443 I'm a doctor! 1142 00:55:47,445 --> 00:55:48,677 I got it. 1143 00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,814 Everybody back, Noah. 1144 00:55:51,816 --> 00:55:53,549 Son, tell me about 1145 00:55:53,551 --> 00:55:56,352 no, it's fucking disgusting. 1146 00:55:56,354 --> 00:55:57,686 Just cough it up, cough it up. 1147 00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,455 Okay. 1148 00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:01,090 - I got it. - Just cough it up. Cough it up. 1149 00:56:01,092 --> 00:56:02,124 Do you see anything? 1150 00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,460 - No. - Heave, ho. 1151 00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:07,096 Eww, these are new shoes. 1152 00:56:07,098 --> 00:56:08,697 Are you all right? Is it all out? 1153 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:12,134 - Uh-huh. - Okay, oh... 1154 00:56:12,136 --> 00:56:14,069 - Thank you. - Oh, you're welcome. 1155 00:56:14,071 --> 00:56:15,437 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 1156 00:56:15,439 --> 00:56:17,072 - Go. - All right, all right. 1157 00:56:17,074 --> 00:56:19,575 I think it's a seizure. 1158 00:56:19,577 --> 00:56:20,809 I think it's a seizure. 1159 00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,511 Everyone get back, get back. 1160 00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:23,979 Nobody panic, nobody panic. 1161 00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:25,147 She's going to be fine. Watch her arms. 1162 00:56:25,149 --> 00:56:26,715 She's slapping... 1163 00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:27,716 give her some air! Just step back! 1164 00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:30,052 Come on, dad! 1165 00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:31,720 Noah, direct the traffic. 1166 00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,622 Do something, Noah! Just... 1167 00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:34,823 calm down. 1168 00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:37,559 It will stop. Just let her be calm. 1169 00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:38,594 Whoa, whoa. No, just calm down. 1170 00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,129 Don't hurt yourself. 1171 00:56:40,131 --> 00:56:41,730 Let her be calm. 1172 00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:45,033 Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, okay. Just vomit. 1173 00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:46,835 Okay, everybody back. Calm down. 1174 00:56:50,874 --> 00:56:52,408 Oh, peanut. 1175 00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,976 That is really a bad thing these days. 1176 00:56:53,978 --> 00:56:55,010 There's peanuts in everything. 1177 00:56:55,012 --> 00:56:56,612 All right. 1178 00:56:56,614 --> 00:56:58,480 Give it up for this guy. This guy is a hero. 1179 00:56:58,482 --> 00:57:00,015 Hero! Hero! 1180 00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:08,857 - Thank you. - Hero! Hero! 1181 00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:10,159 - That was crazy. - Yeah, it was pretty crazy. 1182 00:57:10,161 --> 00:57:12,027 Are you okay? 1183 00:57:12,029 --> 00:57:14,663 Yeah, I think I am. It was just a seizure, I guess. 1184 00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:18,534 Okay. I think we should just go back to my place 1185 00:57:18,536 --> 00:57:19,768 so I can keep an eye on you. 1186 00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:20,869 How about that? 1187 00:57:20,871 --> 00:57:22,638 Oh gosh. I don't know, Kelly. 1188 00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,140 I think I should probably just go home alone 1189 00:57:25,142 --> 00:57:27,976 'cause, you know, I nearly just died kind of so. 1190 00:57:27,978 --> 00:57:29,745 Okay. What is it? 1191 00:57:29,747 --> 00:57:33,482 Do you not like hanging out with me or something? 1192 00:57:33,484 --> 00:57:37,619 No, it's not that. It's, like, Shannon... 1193 00:57:37,621 --> 00:57:40,589 my sister is... at my house so I have to be there. 1194 00:57:40,591 --> 00:57:42,724 Okay. You have to stop using your adult sister 1195 00:57:42,726 --> 00:57:44,059 as an excuse for blowing me off. 1196 00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:45,794 I'm not blowing you off. 1197 00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:46,929 I don't want you think I'm blowing you off. 1198 00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:48,197 Well, I'm available, 1199 00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:49,932 like, totally available. 1200 00:57:49,934 --> 00:57:53,936 And I'm gay and I'm very attracted to you. 1201 00:57:53,938 --> 00:57:55,237 I don't know if you noticed that. 1202 00:57:55,239 --> 00:57:58,106 I like you a lot. 1203 00:57:58,108 --> 00:58:01,543 And I'm cool as shit, so I don't see what the problem is. 1204 00:58:01,545 --> 00:58:03,745 Am I like, what? Am I coming on too strong? 1205 00:58:03,747 --> 00:58:06,248 Am I supposed to play games and pretend 1206 00:58:06,250 --> 00:58:07,950 like I don't like you and be mean to you? 1207 00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:09,852 Is that what Alicia does? 1208 00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:12,788 Should I be like Alicia and flirt with other guys in the gym 1209 00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:14,022 to, like, make you attracted to me? 1210 00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,023 I'm not a game player okay. 1211 00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:16,058 I'm over that shit. 1212 00:58:16,060 --> 00:58:17,559 I'm a grown ass woman 1213 00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:19,795 and I fucking like you so let's do this. 1214 00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:21,730 What's the problem? 1215 00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:24,266 I don't know, Kelly. 1216 00:58:24,268 --> 00:58:26,134 I don't think it's a good idea. 1217 00:58:26,136 --> 00:58:28,203 Wait, wait, Kelly! 1218 00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:29,771 Hey, and you know what, 1219 00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,173 you should signed up for spinning 1220 00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,095 because my class has a no asshole policy now, so. 1221 00:58:49,726 --> 00:58:51,026 What are you looking at? 1222 00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,928 Nothing, I'm sorry. 1223 00:58:52,930 --> 00:58:54,897 I don't know anyone was here so I'm just going to go 1224 00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:56,698 and you can continue you're blubbering. 1225 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,834 - Just pretend I am not here. - You're so insensitive. 1226 00:58:58,836 --> 00:59:00,202 Are you even a woman? 1227 00:59:00,204 --> 00:59:03,906 Hey, I'm sorry, okay? 1228 00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:05,207 No, you're not. 1229 00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:07,109 Okay fine. I'm not! 1230 00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:10,045 I saw an "Oprah" on this. You're a sociopath. 1231 00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,581 Hey wait... now listen I am not sociopath, okay? 1232 00:59:12,583 --> 00:59:13,982 I feel stuff. 1233 00:59:13,984 --> 00:59:15,851 I empathize and I sympathize which means 1234 00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:17,553 that I'm not a sociopath! 1235 00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:19,021 Okay, well, if that's true 1236 00:59:19,023 --> 00:59:20,656 then why don't you ask me why I'm crying? 1237 00:59:26,162 --> 00:59:28,330 All right, I can do it. 1238 00:59:28,332 --> 00:59:30,232 What's wrong? 1239 00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:32,968 Okay, well when I confronted Scott about you... 1240 00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:34,102 who's Scott? 1241 00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:35,804 My husband, the one that you blew. 1242 00:59:35,806 --> 00:59:38,273 Oh, yes, okay. And Scott you talked to him about... 1243 00:59:38,275 --> 00:59:39,808 Yeah, he didn't deny it. 1244 00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:41,176 He admitted it was true. 1245 00:59:41,178 --> 00:59:42,311 Okay. 1246 00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:44,046 And then I asked him if it was good. 1247 00:59:44,048 --> 00:59:46,782 And I could tell that he didn't want to say anything 1248 00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,884 but I forced it out of him 1249 00:59:48,886 --> 00:59:54,256 and he said that it was the best blowjob of his life. 1250 00:59:54,258 --> 00:59:56,091 And now we just can't stop fighting 1251 00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:57,693 and I can't have sex with him 1252 00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,194 and I just don't know what I'm going to do 1253 00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:03,966 because I just... I can never... I can never do that! 1254 01:00:03,968 --> 01:00:05,934 Yeah, okay, you can do it, you can do it. 1255 01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:07,736 You know what, I know how to fix this. 1256 01:00:10,039 --> 01:00:12,140 We'll use this. 1257 01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:13,942 I'm going to teach how to give the best blowjob of your life. 1258 01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:16,678 Okay, but hold on, can we use this? 1259 01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:22,084 Doesn't surprise me Phil took the cash. 1260 01:00:22,086 --> 01:00:24,019 He was in buchenwald. 1261 01:00:24,021 --> 01:00:25,687 Because you can't get freaky when there's a holocaust. 1262 01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:26,955 It was a good run! 1263 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:29,057 "Sucky, sucky my big fat cock!" 1264 01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:30,292 Sorry, honey. 1265 01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:32,861 So, what do you normally do? 1266 01:00:32,863 --> 01:00:37,332 I just close my eyes and then... 1267 01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:39,001 looks like you're eating a corn cob. 1268 01:00:39,003 --> 01:00:40,268 That's not going to feel good to anyone. 1269 01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:42,204 - Okay. - Okay. 1270 01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,006 All right so what kind of porn do you guys watch together? 1271 01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:45,874 No porn, none. 1272 01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:47,976 Watch a porn once in a while by yourself 1273 01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:49,745 and watch how the chicks do it. 1274 01:00:49,747 --> 01:00:51,747 Aren't most of those women slaves? 1275 01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:53,415 No, they're fine. 1276 01:00:53,417 --> 01:00:55,651 Oh, I thought I saw a "dateline" about that they were slaves. 1277 01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:56,952 No. 1278 01:00:56,954 --> 01:00:59,287 No, they put them in a box and ship them over... 1279 01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:00,822 no, that's... no those are the manicurists. 1280 01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,090 Okay. 1281 01:01:02,092 --> 01:01:03,258 No, those aren't the porn stars. 1282 01:01:03,260 --> 01:01:04,660 - They're not slaves. - Okay. 1283 01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:06,194 - Okay, so what you want to do... - Yeah. 1284 01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,963 Is you want to pretend, 1285 01:01:07,965 --> 01:01:12,000 like, what's your favorite food in the world? 1286 01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:15,270 Yoplait yogurt, cheese cake flavor. 1287 01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:18,273 Okay. So I want you to pretend like this is filled 1288 01:01:18,275 --> 01:01:20,709 with cheese cake flavored yoplait yogurt. 1289 01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:21,910 Okay. 1290 01:01:21,912 --> 01:01:22,944 And if you suck it hard enough... 1291 01:01:22,946 --> 01:01:24,179 yeah. 1292 01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:25,213 You're going to get it all out. 1293 01:01:25,215 --> 01:01:27,149 - Okay! - Okay? 1294 01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:28,784 So now in order to get out the yogurt you have to squeeze it. 1295 01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:30,118 Okay. 1296 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,420 And you want to put your mouth on the tip. 1297 01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,422 Okay. 1298 01:01:33,424 --> 01:01:34,923 Now you're going to bring your hands up to meet your mouth. 1299 01:01:34,925 --> 01:01:36,191 - As your mouth goes down... - Okay. 1300 01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,260 Your hand goes up. 1301 01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:39,394 And it's like that and it's... so they're going to... 1302 01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:40,762 - mouth beneath the hand. - Yes! 1303 01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:41,763 - Mouth beneath the hand. - Yes! 1304 01:01:41,765 --> 01:01:43,165 Mouth beneath the hand. 1305 01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:45,100 - Yeah! You're going to get... - Mouth... 1306 01:01:45,102 --> 01:01:46,835 now right before you're going to get your hand up to the top, 1307 01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:48,103 hold it really tight, spit in your palm, 1308 01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,706 rub it around the top, point it away, 1309 01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:51,907 shoots out into the stars, okay? 1310 01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,141 - Okay. - All right. 1311 01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:54,342 You got this. Now go, go, go, go! 1312 01:01:54,344 --> 01:01:55,811 Got some technique! 1313 01:01:55,813 --> 01:01:56,978 - Yeah, that's it. - Thank you! 1314 01:01:56,980 --> 01:01:58,480 Okay. 1315 01:02:05,788 --> 01:02:08,223 What do you mean it's only 12,000? 1316 01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,225 Come on, come on. It's a lot of money, 1317 01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:11,993 it's like... that's like six digits. 1318 01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:14,262 I said I wanted 25,000. 1319 01:02:14,264 --> 01:02:17,399 Well you can get a house in Detroit for, like, $800. 1320 01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:19,134 I didn't want a house! 1321 01:02:19,136 --> 01:02:20,368 I wanted a building. 1322 01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:22,304 Come on, Ruby, please? 1323 01:02:22,306 --> 01:02:23,472 But it's cash. 1324 01:02:23,474 --> 01:02:25,407 I mean it's all right here. 1325 01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:28,009 It's a good start, get everything rolling, you know? 1326 01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:30,746 It's a great start. 1327 01:02:30,748 --> 01:02:32,447 I'll sell the thunderbird. 1328 01:02:32,449 --> 01:02:35,217 - You'll sell the thunderbird? - I promise! I don't need it. 1329 01:02:35,219 --> 01:02:37,052 Super cool. 1330 01:02:37,054 --> 01:02:39,287 Okay. 1331 01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:41,189 We'll turn the oven on. 1332 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:49,197 It was really sweet of you to come. 1333 01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:50,866 Of course! 1334 01:02:50,868 --> 01:02:52,501 You could've just told me 1335 01:02:52,503 --> 01:02:55,771 you're being blackmailed for killing some guy's dog. 1336 01:02:55,773 --> 01:02:59,941 I feel bad about it. I still do. 1337 01:02:59,943 --> 01:03:02,110 This is my last dog! 1338 01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:05,480 Suck my dick, Fresno! 1339 01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:07,849 What's up with that chick? 1340 01:03:07,851 --> 01:03:11,286 Oh, she's moving to Detroit. 1341 01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:14,356 Okay. Um... 1342 01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:20,529 Let's all bow our heads and have a moment of silence. 1343 01:03:22,498 --> 01:03:27,035 Boris, oh precious Boris. 1344 01:03:29,005 --> 01:03:34,009 He was a champion but he was also a dirty dog. 1345 01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:42,350 Oh, God, please watch over him and take him to a better place. 1346 01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:45,020 Everyone deserves their dignity. 1347 01:03:45,022 --> 01:03:48,957 We've all done things we're not proud of. 1348 01:03:48,959 --> 01:03:50,826 The last time I was at a cemetery 1349 01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:53,295 was for my father's funeral. 1350 01:03:53,297 --> 01:03:55,297 It was not an easy time for any of us 1351 01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:58,400 but especially not for my sister Shannon because she didn't show. 1352 01:03:58,402 --> 01:04:00,135 I know she wanted to be there 1353 01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,505 but she couldn't because she didn't feel good. 1354 01:04:03,507 --> 01:04:05,574 I don't blame her. 1355 01:04:05,576 --> 01:04:08,310 It's just... sometimes it's hard for me 1356 01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,145 to do everything on my own, 1357 01:04:10,147 --> 01:04:12,414 so I guess I'm just really grateful 1358 01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,316 that we made it through this time together. 1359 01:04:16,085 --> 01:04:18,019 Yeah. 1360 01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:43,211 Hi, Martha. 1361 01:04:56,459 --> 01:05:00,061 Martha! Martha! 1362 01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,966 We slept together before 1363 01:05:04,968 --> 01:05:06,968 so there's like a grandfather clause situation, 1364 01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,506 they still build these. Isn't that crazy? 1365 01:05:11,508 --> 01:05:14,042 Little sheds? 1366 01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:17,412 Martha! Martha, stop running! 1367 01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,180 Martha, come on! 1368 01:05:19,182 --> 01:05:20,348 Wait, I'm sorry! 1369 01:05:20,350 --> 01:05:22,150 Sorry, you're not sorry, shan! 1370 01:05:22,152 --> 01:05:23,585 It's not my fault! 1371 01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:25,420 It's my disease! I can't help it! 1372 01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,923 Of course, right. You never mean to do anything. 1373 01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:30,225 You know you're just like dad. 1374 01:05:30,227 --> 01:05:32,360 Just blame everyone else. 1375 01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:35,563 It's never you, right? 1376 01:05:35,565 --> 01:05:39,367 Well, I am so tired of trying to help you. 1377 01:05:43,039 --> 01:05:44,306 Martha! 1378 01:05:44,308 --> 01:05:46,641 You can't leave me here! 1379 01:05:46,643 --> 01:05:48,176 Don't come back to my place! 1380 01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:50,078 I'm done! 1381 01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:58,620 It's hard letting go, isn't it? 1382 01:06:01,257 --> 01:06:03,224 If only pop tart could've spoken up 1383 01:06:03,226 --> 01:06:06,261 and told me what was bothering her. 1384 01:06:06,263 --> 01:06:10,732 But turtles can't let you know what's going, can they? 1385 01:06:10,734 --> 01:06:12,634 Robots can't either. 1386 01:06:39,362 --> 01:06:41,463 Back so soon? 1387 01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,265 Staying for a while this time. 1388 01:06:44,267 --> 01:06:46,001 You hit the lotto? 1389 01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:48,737 This is left over from bar Mitzvah money. 1390 01:06:48,739 --> 01:06:50,672 Good luck. 1391 01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:53,775 My mom died of cancer then my dad died of alcohol, 1392 01:06:53,777 --> 01:06:55,677 and my little sister had no one to help her. 1393 01:06:55,679 --> 01:06:59,748 And instead of helping her I just blew off my dad's funeral. 1394 01:07:02,385 --> 01:07:06,521 And a few months ago I did some really horrible shit 1395 01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:12,093 which is why I'm here, and my sister bailed me out again. 1396 01:07:12,095 --> 01:07:14,329 And so did this... this guy 1397 01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:19,634 that I met who's really nice, and I really liked him. 1398 01:07:19,636 --> 01:07:21,703 Instead of dealing with my feelings 1399 01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:25,106 like a mature adult, grown up person, 1400 01:07:25,108 --> 01:07:27,342 I fucked a random dude. 1401 01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,115 I just don't want to let anyone down anymore. 1402 01:07:34,117 --> 01:07:36,384 I don't want to let myself down anymore 1403 01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,119 and I want this part of my life... 1404 01:07:38,121 --> 01:07:40,288 this whole chunk to be over. 1405 01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:42,424 And that's why I'm here because I need help. 1406 01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:48,329 I'm just fucking tired of fucking. 1407 01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:54,135 Fuck! 1408 01:07:54,137 --> 01:08:00,575 Sorry, it wasn't my turn, I'm sorry. 1409 01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,745 You know who would've loved that? 1410 01:08:03,747 --> 01:08:06,381 Oprah. 1411 01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:22,250 I have paychecks! 1412 01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:23,618 This one is for Martha. 1413 01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:25,253 That's you? 1414 01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:29,257 And this is for Shannon, your big sister. 1415 01:10:29,259 --> 01:10:32,727 She's going to have to pick hers up. She quit. 1416 01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,462 And we're not talking anymore. 1417 01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:36,631 Why not? 1418 01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:37,799 Let's see. 1419 01:10:37,801 --> 01:10:39,734 She's a liar, she's selfish, 1420 01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,003 she's ungrateful, and she can't get her life together. 1421 01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:43,605 It's actually really sad. 1422 01:10:43,607 --> 01:10:44,706 My sister sucks. 1423 01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:46,541 Why does she suck? 1424 01:10:46,543 --> 01:10:49,477 Were you not listening, Jerry? I just told you the whole thing. 1425 01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,579 She's a pain in the ass! 1426 01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:53,014 Why? 1427 01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,683 Because she just does whatever the hell she wants, 1428 01:10:55,685 --> 01:11:00,488 and she doesn't care who she hurts along the way. 1429 01:11:00,490 --> 01:11:04,392 I mean, I did everything I could for her. 1430 01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:07,729 I got her this job, let her stay at my place, 1431 01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:10,598 and it's like she just didn't even want any of it. 1432 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,768 Well, if she didn't want help, why did you help her? 1433 01:11:14,903 --> 01:11:16,471 I don't know. 1434 01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,573 Sounds like you need help. 1435 01:11:20,643 --> 01:11:24,379 Uh... I don't need any help. 1436 01:11:24,381 --> 01:11:28,416 You worry too much about your sister and not yourself. 1437 01:11:28,418 --> 01:11:30,451 My life is pretty sweet. 1438 01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:31,986 It's not sweet. 1439 01:11:31,988 --> 01:11:36,291 You live all alone. And you're a maid in Fresno. 1440 01:11:36,293 --> 01:11:37,825 You're a maid too, you know. 1441 01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,861 Yes, but I'm better than a maid. 1442 01:11:39,863 --> 01:11:41,763 Executive maid! 1443 01:11:41,765 --> 01:11:43,998 And I have sexy girlfriend. 1444 01:11:49,071 --> 01:11:52,340 Yeah, can you just, like, put them back right away. 1445 01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:54,542 'Cause they're always getting tangled up. 1446 01:11:58,714 --> 01:12:00,648 Kelly, you don't have to hide from me. 1447 01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:03,651 Hey, Alicia is working out at Prestown Crossfit 1448 01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:05,987 so you should go sign up there. 1449 01:12:05,989 --> 01:12:08,623 I don't want to say "hi" to Alicia 1450 01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:11,526 I want to say "hi" to you, Kelly. 1451 01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:12,694 Hi. 1452 01:12:19,768 --> 01:12:23,604 I want to apologize to you, okay? 1453 01:12:23,606 --> 01:12:26,541 I'm sorry. 1454 01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:29,010 I wasn't myself. 1455 01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,714 Yeah, just a lot of weird stuff was going on in my life. 1456 01:12:32,716 --> 01:12:34,916 You say your sister or your ex one more time 1457 01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:37,018 I will literally vomit, right now. 1458 01:12:37,020 --> 01:12:39,020 Well, I won't. 1459 01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:42,023 Okay? Because neither of them are in my life anymore. 1460 01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:43,891 I mean it's good! 1461 01:12:43,893 --> 01:12:46,361 Like for the first time in my life 1462 01:12:46,363 --> 01:12:47,929 I'm doing stuff just for myself. 1463 01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:50,865 Like, I got a pedicure yesterday 1464 01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:55,436 and I took a bubble bath, you know? 1465 01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:57,004 Wow, you took a bath. 1466 01:12:57,006 --> 01:12:58,740 Yeah. 1467 01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:03,678 And now I'm doing this other thing I really wanted to do, 1468 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,580 talking to a girl who I think is pretty cool. 1469 01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:11,452 I really liked you. 1470 01:13:11,454 --> 01:13:12,653 I still like you. 1471 01:13:14,957 --> 01:13:17,158 Okay. 1472 01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,994 But if your sister and your ex are, 1473 01:13:19,996 --> 01:13:22,563 like, totally out of the picture for real then 1474 01:13:22,565 --> 01:13:24,632 what are you possibly going to use as an excuse 1475 01:13:24,634 --> 01:13:26,834 not to go out with me tonight? 1476 01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:28,870 Tonight. 1477 01:13:28,872 --> 01:13:30,571 Nothing. 1478 01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:34,742 Newsflash... I'm available. 1479 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:37,512 - Really? - Big time. 1480 01:13:46,189 --> 01:13:48,689 Yo, yo, yo! Guru! 1481 01:13:48,691 --> 01:13:50,691 Do you remember me? 1482 01:13:50,693 --> 01:13:52,460 I think you have the wrong person. 1483 01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:54,162 No, no. You don't remember me? 1484 01:13:54,164 --> 01:13:56,798 My parents had a house that smelled like dirty diapers? 1485 01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,032 Does that ring a bell? 1486 01:13:58,034 --> 01:14:00,067 - No. - You remember this pretty face? 1487 01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:04,172 Yeah, hi! 1488 01:14:04,174 --> 01:14:06,140 You got anymore awesome words of wisdom for me? 1489 01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:07,608 Oh, I don't. 1490 01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,912 I'm kind of out of the guru business. 1491 01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,046 What? 1492 01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:14,449 I'm working at foster farms now. 1493 01:14:14,451 --> 01:14:18,219 Oh well that's good for foster farms but bad for gurus. 1494 01:14:18,221 --> 01:14:20,521 You were so good at that! 1495 01:14:20,523 --> 01:14:22,190 I got to tell you my whole life changed 1496 01:14:22,192 --> 01:14:23,658 because of the stuff you told me. 1497 01:14:23,660 --> 01:14:25,059 Really, how? 1498 01:14:25,061 --> 01:14:26,627 I sold the van. 1499 01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:28,896 I'm pawned Boris' bronze medal. 1500 01:14:28,898 --> 01:14:31,199 I sold my parents' house for a shitload of money. 1501 01:14:31,201 --> 01:14:32,633 I figured they'd be better off rotting 1502 01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:34,001 in the nursing home, you know. 1503 01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,570 Got a real good price on a nursing home, 1504 01:14:35,572 --> 01:14:37,605 one of the cheapest ones. 1505 01:14:37,607 --> 01:14:40,575 And that was really all because of you, I have to be honest. 1506 01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:42,910 And I'm getting a chin implant. 1507 01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:45,112 I never said any of that stuff. 1508 01:14:45,114 --> 01:14:48,049 Listen, guru, I felt your vibe and I ran with it. 1509 01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:49,984 If you ever see Boris you tell him 1510 01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,119 we're better off without each other, okay? 1511 01:14:52,121 --> 01:14:54,622 Siblings can really sink each other, you know? 1512 01:14:54,624 --> 01:14:57,792 Tell him I said that, okay? 1513 01:14:57,794 --> 01:15:00,495 Take care of yourself! Namaste! 1514 01:16:33,822 --> 01:16:36,157 911, what's your emergency? 1515 01:16:36,159 --> 01:16:40,628 It's not really an emergency. 1516 01:16:40,630 --> 01:16:44,966 I killed a guy, so someone should probably come and get me. 1517 01:16:44,968 --> 01:16:47,935 Please hold. 1518 01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:50,304 Now, I'll connect you to the Fresno police. 1519 01:16:50,306 --> 01:16:52,340 Please state your present location, 1520 01:16:52,342 --> 01:16:55,276 paramedics have been dispatched. 1521 01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:58,045 No, you don't have to send the paramedics. 1522 01:16:58,047 --> 01:17:00,681 It was a little while ago. 1523 01:17:00,683 --> 01:17:02,783 It was an accident, 1524 01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:06,787 I'm sure everyone says that, but it, like really was an accident. 1525 01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:08,656 Well, do you think that maybe someone could 1526 01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:10,825 just come here and get me because I don't have a car? 1527 01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:14,829 That's a really far walk. 1528 01:17:21,703 --> 01:17:24,739 So anyway, shan, I'm glad you're getting my letters. 1529 01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:27,008 I miss you but I'm kind of glad you're in jail. 1530 01:17:27,010 --> 01:17:29,010 And I mean that in the nicest way. 1531 01:17:29,012 --> 01:17:31,112 You better look like Linda Hamilton in "t2" 1532 01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:33,881 when you get out. Baby got back! 1533 01:17:33,883 --> 01:17:36,017 Like actual back, it was awesome! 1534 01:17:38,820 --> 01:17:41,061 I'll see you next month and try and stay out of trouble. 1535 01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:44,892 Hugs. 1536 01:17:44,894 --> 01:17:48,229 Martha. 1537 01:17:48,231 --> 01:17:54,101 P.S., I hate you which in case you forgot 1538 01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:56,704 means I love you like a sister. 1539 01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:28,069 I did learn this this from "hot knockers 4." 1540 01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:29,437 Oh, baby. 1541 01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:31,772 Shan! Stop, your my sister. 1542 01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,274 Hold still, baby. 1543 01:18:33,276 --> 01:18:35,810 Thank you. You are... you have a treasure trove. 1544 01:18:35,812 --> 01:18:38,312 You're like the Maya angelou of dick sucking, 1545 01:18:38,314 --> 01:18:39,346 and I mean that. 1546 01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:41,849 It was just a big urine cake. 1547 01:18:45,487 --> 01:18:50,157 It's true. I got it! I got it! 1548 01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:53,027 I was just... I was just a big urinal cake. 1549 01:18:53,029 --> 01:18:58,399 The entire community... I'm sorry. 1550 01:18:58,401 --> 01:19:00,267 Everyone's excited but I don't know what's happening. 1551 01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:01,936 Like, like, like! 1552 01:19:01,938 --> 01:19:04,772 What are we... what are we jacking? 1553 01:19:04,774 --> 01:19:07,942 Maybe it's me, maybe it's Jerry Garcia, 1554 01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:10,511 maybe it's cousin it. Nobody knows. 1555 01:19:10,513 --> 01:19:14,181 Hello, I'm here for your bar Mitzvah, shalom! 1556 01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:17,218 Come at you and I'll fuck you so hard you'll come out your butt. 1557 01:19:32,968 --> 01:19:35,436 Are we looking into the lens? 1558 01:19:35,438 --> 01:19:39,540 No, I can't look away. I can't look away. I can't look away. 1559 01:19:39,542 --> 01:19:41,776 You want us to come on the cart?