ADRIANA?
ARRIBA, ARRIBA.
LEVANTATE.
DESPIERTA.
LEVANTESE.
ARRIBA, NIÑO.
AQUI, AQUI!
UP!
CUCKOO!
HOLD ON, WOMAN.
HELLO, MAMA.
YOU SEE WE ARE EXACTLY THE SAME.
WE EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM AT THE SAME TIME.
OKAY, CLOSE THE DOOR, I GOTTA GO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
PASS ME SOME TOILET PAPER.
FART FACE, HERE YOU GO.
REACH FOR IT.
COME ON.
YOU CAN DO IT.
REACH WITH YOUR TINY, LITTLE LADY ARMS.
YOU LITTLE FUCKER.
CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR.
LATER LOSER.
AND TELL ADRIANA NOT TO TAKE MY BRUSH.
DID YOU HEAR ME?
TELL ADRIANA NOT TO TAKE MY HAIRBRUSH.
I'VE ORDERED DOZENS OF BRUSHES,
AND SHE TAKES MINE EVERY SINGLE MORNING.
THIS IS MY TOOTHPASTE. MOM, I'M FUCKING NAKED.
FINE, JUST TELL HER.
ALL RIGHT, GET OUT, WOMAN.
I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP.
MOM, YOU TOOK THE TOOTHPASTE, SERIOUSLY?
HAVE YOU SEEN MY MAKEUP?
NO. GET OUT OF HERE.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? MOVE!
AIDA?
STOP, YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP MOM.
OH, YOUR LITTLE, PRECIOUS POOR, LITTLE MOMMY.
WILL YOU GET OFF MY MIRROR, PLEASE?
LITTLE MAMA'S BOY. THANK YOU.
AIDA, ¿DONDE ESTA MI MAQUILLAJE?
SHUT UP!
DON'T TAKE HER BRUSH.
BIG WHOOP, I DON'T CARE
IF THAT LOSER'S GOING TO BE THERE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A TATER TOT.
YEAH, A SHORT, OVER-TAN POTATO HEAD.
AH, SHE FOUND IT.
THANK YOU.
WHAT?
YEAH, NO, I TOLD YOU I'D MEET YOU AT THE CORNER.
NO, NO, NO. ADRIANA, ADRIANA.
I NEED IT.
JESUS CHRIST, GIVE ME THE DAMN BRUSH.
FINE, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
JUST LET ME FINISH BRUSHING MY HAIR.
I MEAN, STOP BEING SO RIDICULOUS.
IT'S A FUCKING HAIRBRUSH.
JUST GIVE IT TO ME. STOP!
STOP, MOM, STOP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS? STOP!
LET GO!
OH, AH! AH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D HIT A WOMAN LIKE THAT, OLIVER.
A REAL MAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
NOW SHE'S DEFINITELY GONNA LEAVE.
AY, AY.
HEY, WATCH IT!
WATCH-- I'M A BAD MAN.
COME ON, BRING IT, BRING IT, BRING IT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
UH!
GOOD MORNING.
HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?
NO, JUST OLLIE.
NOBODY HOME.
MORNING, MRS. BURNS, HOW ARE YA?
HOO, HOO.
WHOA, WHOA.
HEY, OLLIE.
OLLIE?
LILA.
WHATEVER.
LILA.
WHAT'S UP, OLIVER?
CHECK IT OUT.
TESORO'S BEEN BUSY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LIKE IT.
IT'S PRETTY SWEET, HUH?
HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT, OUT TAGGING TRAINS.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD?
FUCK YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND.
WHAT'S THE--
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?
KICK HIS ASS. YO MAMA, YO MAMA, YO MAMA.
DON'T FUCK WITH TESORO, MAN.
HE'S NOT REAL.
OH, SHIT. GET OFF ME, FAT ASS.
OOH!
HOW'S THE POETRY GOING, FAG BOY?
YOUR MOM SEEMED TO LIKE IT.
MILD. WHATEVER.
SHIT. LET'S GO.
YO, WAIT UP.
I GOTTA GET MY NOTEBOOK, YOU ASSHOLES.
HOLD UP.
"ODYSSEUS MUST HAVE FEET AND HANDS LIKE THIS BY NOW.
HARDSHIP CAN AGE A PERSON OVERNIGHT.
YOUR MAMA'S...
WITH THAT NAME--" NICK, FOCUS.
"AT THAT NAME, THE OLD RETAINER BURIED HER FACE AND BOTH HANDS,
"BURST INTO TEARS, WAILED OUT IN GRIEF,
'OH, MY CHILD.'"
OKAY, GENTLEMEN, SOON CARNAGE.
I'M LATE FOR HOOPS PRACTICE.
MR. PARSNAN WILL BE IN HERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
BEHAVE FOR ONCE, HUH?
JUST RELAX, THANK YOU.
YAH!
AH!
YAH!
SOMEONE'S COMING.
CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
WHO DID THIS?
OH, JESUS CHRIST, OKAY.
WHO DID THIS?!
SOMEONE'S PISSED.
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL IN.
YOU ARE MY ANTS.
YO, NICK, WANT SOME CHIPS?
DUDE, DON'T MAKE IT LOOK OBVIOUS.
DUDE, CLOSE THE BAG.
LET'S JUST GET A FUCKING 40 OR SOMETHING.
WHAT'S UP, YOU LITTLE SMACKS?
YO, VAL, GIVE ME SOME MONEY, I NEED A YODEL.
JESUS CHRIST. GET OFF OF ME, BILLY.
YO, YODEL-AY-HEE-HO.
COME ON, GUYS, I GOTTA GET ME SOME KILL JUICE,
'CAUSE THIS CHINESE HOOK GAVE ME CRABS.
MOM GAVE US OUR ALLOWANCE YESTERDAY, BRO, SO COME ON.
ALL I WANT IS A YODEL-AY-FUCKIN'-HO.
BULLSHIT, YOU BANGED A HOOKER.
WITH MY EIGHT-INCH BAT.
YOU PROBABLY GOT EIGHT INCHES, EH?
EH? YOU DON'T BELIEVE-- YOU WANNA SEE IT?
YO LONG, THESE BOYS WANNA SEE MY DONG.
BILLY, DON'T DO IT.
WHY DON'T YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF?
LONG-LONG, I NEED ME SOME EATS, MAN.
YEAH, I'M SURE YOU DO.
THAT'S RIGHT, YOU LITTLE HEBREWS.
COME ON, GIVE ME SOME--
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE YOURSELF--
I JUST WANT A YODEL, MAN, COME ON, COME ON.
YO, CALM THE FUCK DOWN, DUCK SAUCE.
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE YOURSELF, YOU STAY OUT OF MY STORE.
WHAT A LOSER. SON-OF-A-BITCH.
MY ONLY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU TWERPS IS START SMOKING HEAVILY.
YO, CHILL OUT!
HEY, GET SOME SMOKES.
HURRY UP. I GOT THIS.
HEY, HOW MUCH FOR THIS YODEL?
FIFTY-FIVE CENTS. COOL.
THANKS, LONG.
GIVE THESE TO YOUR FAGGOT BROTHER.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE
AND LIGHT UP ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS.
YOU KIDS, BEHAVE YOURSELVES.
ALL RIGHT.
VAL, IS IT TRUE YOU CAN SUCK YOUR OWN DICK?
NO. YEAH.
BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I HAVE A BIG DICK,
IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE A FLEXIBLE BACK.
OH, MY GOD. BULLSHIT.
YOU REALLY CAN BLOW YOURSELF?
YEAH, I JERK OFF TILL I'M ABOUT TO CUM,
AND THEN I STICK IT IN MY MOUTH AND I FINISH.
DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. NO FUCKING WAY.
DO IT! I'M GONNA SHOW YOU.
WAS IT-- I GOT FUCKING SKILLS.
DOESN'T THIS MAKE HIM GAY?
I MEAN HE SWALLOWS CUM, HE'S GAY.
I DON'T THINK SO. YOU'RE FUCKING GAY.
YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS AT MY HOUSE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.
OH, MILD.
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.
I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME.
YEAH, IT'S-- I MEAN, I DON'T RETURN IT, BUT STILL.
I WANT YOU SO BAD.
AND THINKS OF ME, THOUGH, EVERY NIGHT.
OH, HE WISHES.
SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A GAY MAN 'CAUSE SHE KISSES YOU,
AND YOU HAVE CUM IN YOUR MOUTH, AND IT LIKE SWABS,
SO SHE'S GAY?
WHERE THE FUCK IS HE GOING?
RIGHT SIDE. ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S IT TASTE LIKE?
SALTY.
OH, MY GOD.
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
HEY.
AIDA.
OKAY?
AY, YI, YI, YI.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE SKULLS ARE TOO DARK.
DON'T LOSE MY TIE.
I CAN HEAR YOU, TOO.
YOU KNOW THE CODE.
NO.
YEAH, COME ON, LET'S HEAR IT.
NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT AGAIN.
YES, YES, YOU LOVE IT.
FINE, OH, GOD, I'M DOING IT.
OKAY, OLIVER NICHOLAS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
AND I CAN'T HELP IT.
EVEN IF I TRIED AND TRIED, I CAN NEVER HELP IT.
NOW, LET ME IN, SCHMUCK.
HI, WITCH.
KIMO SAID YOU HAD A GIRL UP HERE.
KIMO?
WHERE'S YOUR MOMMY?
THERE ARE NO MOMMIES HERE.
I WANNA SAY HI.
SHE'S NOT HOME.
YOU STILL DIDN'T PUT IN A FRAME.
I'LL DO IT.
I'M GETTING BRACES.
YOU STILL WANNA KISS ME WHEN I HAVE BRACES?
I DON'T KNOW, IT DEPENDS.
ON WHAT?
ON WHETHER YOU LOOK LIKE A MONSTER IN THAT.
ERGH, GIVE ME THAT BRA.
OLIVER, YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON, YOU KNOW THAT?
YES.
HI, RATONCITOS.
HI, MRS. NICHOLAS. HI, LILA.
TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY'RE SKULLS.
MM-HMM. BEAUTIFUL, MM?
I GUESS SO, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING?
I DON'T KNOW, A YEAR AGO.
YOU JUST LOOK--
SEXY?
SILLY.
THANKS.
I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD BE SMOKING EITHER.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA BUG ME WITH THE SMOKE NOW, HUH?
YEAH, SURE.
LILA AND I ARE GONNA FOOL AROUND A LITTLE BIT.
OH, OH.
YES, NOW GET OUT, CIAO.
OKAY, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WE DON'T-- WE DON'T FOOL AROUND.
YES, WE DO, WE DO IT ALL THE TIME, AND YOU LOVE IT.
OKAY, WE'VE ONLY BEEN TO FIRST BASE.
OH, YOU LOVE IT. OKAY, SHUT UP.
WE'VE ONLY BEEN TO FIRST BASE.
SECOND.
OKAY, KIND OF.
OH, WAIT, MOM.
SERIOUSLY, DON'T TELL AIDA I SMOKE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED THAT I KNOW.
I'M SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, NOW GET OUT.
LILA. BYE.
MOM, GET OUT.
LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS.
OOH!
I WANNA SLAP YOU.
OH, COME ON, GET OVER HERE, LILA.
I HATE YOU.
MOM? MOM!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU OKAY?
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.
WHAT IS IT?
TELL ME.
I DON'T THINK I CAN TELL YOU.
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
NOT THIS.
COME ON, TELL ME.
WHAT IS IT?
WHEN I MASTURBATE,
I GET A MIGRAINE RIGHT BEFORE THE ORGASM.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES, YOU'RE SERIOUS.
OKAY.
WILL YOU CALL DR. ROOT,
AND ASK HIM WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
REALLY?
DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE DOCTOR?
OLLIE?
YEAH, I'M COMING.
HI, DR. ROOT, THIS IS LUNA NICHOLAS.
I'M CALLING BECAUSE OLIVER'S HAVING A PROBLEM.
OH, WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S KIND OF A BOY PROBLEM.
WHEN-- WHEN HE MASTURBATES,
HE GETS A MIGRAINE BEFORE HE REACHES ORGASM.
OH. HOW OLD IS HE?
HE JUST TURNED 13.
OH, LET ME THINK.
I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM TO BREATHE.
HE'S A LITTLE TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING THAT.
YEAH, I WILL TELL HIM.
OKAY, THANK YOU, DR. ROOT.
WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME.
BYE-BYE.
TELL KIMO I'M NOT SELLING HIM ANY MORE CRAWLERS.
VERONICA, YOU WANT ME OUT OF A JOB?
YOU TELL HIM I WANNA GO FISHING.
SURE.
SEE YOU SOON, VERONICA.
VERONICA WANTS TO GO FISHING.
YEAH RIGHT.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
AIDA GAVE ME A PERFUME.
SHE THINKS I SHOULD START SMELLING LIKE A WOMAN
AND NOT LIKE A LAB RAT.
SO, YOU HAD TO WEAR IT IN HERE?
CONCENTRATE. I AM.
VERY GOOD.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE WITH FRANCISCO?
IT WAS OKAY.
I'M SINGLE, YOU KNOW?
I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE SOME FUN, TOO.
HOW FAR DID YOU GO?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, YOU RAT.
OH, SO NO SEX?
NO, I'M NOT SURE IF I LIKE HIM YET.
SO, LIKE WHAT, THIRD BASE?
WE JUST KISSED A LITTLE BIT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT WITH HIM UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
NO, I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS.
EVERYONE'S AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND.
IS THIS TOO DARK?
NO, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
YOU WANNA HAVE LUNCH?
NO, I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TENNIS WITH DAD AT THE PARK.
BUT IT'S COLD.
GOODBYE, LUNA.
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING, SIS?
ZUCCHINI SOUP.
PROBABLY GOING TO END UP SUPPORTING YOUR ASS.
I WOULDN'T MIND SPENDING YOUR MONEY, SIS.
HE GOES BACK UP ONE MORE TIME.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE MAKES-- UH!
WHOO!
DID, LIKE, CHRIS SAY ANYTHING TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?
WELL, I WASN'T IN THE ROOM OR ELSE I WOULD'VE COME OVER.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
I WENT TO THE PARTY, AND I WALKED IN,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE GO OVER TO HIM, YOU KNOW,
SO... YEAH.
NO, I HAD-- GET OFF!
OH, MY GOSH, MY BROTHER--
STOP!
GET OFF.
NO, I'M SORRY, IT'S-- STOP.
I'M GOING TO HURT YOU.
WHO'S THAT, YOUR BOYFRIEND?
NO. SHH! WHAT?
YEAH, SO I WENT AND-- MOLLY-- STOP!
GREAT, I LOST HER.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
GET OUT OF HERE, OLIVER!
TWELVE, THIRTEEN.
HEY, OLLIE.
YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I WROTE ON YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY?
ALL RIGHT.
I WANNA WATCH THE "LOVE BOAT." THE OTHER TV IS SHIT.
ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION
OR DEATH OR SOMETHING?
IT REALLY IS GROSS, YOU KNOW.
AIDA!
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING, LUNA.
JUST LEAVE US ALONG, OKAY?
GO.
GRACIAS.
HEY.
SHE HAD A STROKE.
SHE'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A FEW WEEKS,
BUT SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
DON'T VISIT HER.
SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE HER
LIKE THAT IN THE HOSPITAL.
OLIVER.
E-O-L-I-V-I-A!
I STOLE IT FROM THE DEUTSCH.
MY BROTHER'S COCAINE.
AH!
AIDA?
LUCKY GIRL, HUH?
GET HER SOME ROSES.
RED ROSES.
SOMETHING WHITE.
NO, YOU WANT THE RED.
YOU WANNA SEND HER A MESSAGE.
HERE.
COME ON. WRITE SOMETHING SWEET.
THESE ARE THE FINEST FLOWERS IN THE CITY.
YOU'RE GONNA GET A BIG, SWEET KISS.
OF COURSE, ALL THE TIME.
GOOD, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
I-- I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, I'M FREEZING.
LET'S GET HOT CHOCOLATE.
OKAY, SO TODAY IN SCHOOL...
HI, OLLIE.
WOULD YOU BE SAD IF I DIED?
OF COURSE NOT.
I WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF YOU WERE TOO SAD.
A LITTLE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
WHAT'LL YOU KIDS HAVE?
KIDS?
HOT CHOCOLATE, PLEASE.
I'LL HAVE AN IRISH COFFEE.
SURE, YOU WILL.
YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST THE IRISH?
I'M IRISH.
TWO HOT CHOCOLATES.
WHY HAVEN'T WE HAD SEX YET?
YOU SHOULD COME OVER TO VAL'S LATE TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA GET ALL DRUGGED UP AND DO IT.
I'M NOT READY.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE READY.
LIFE HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE NOT READY.
THIS WILL BE TRAINING FOR LIFE.
LIFE TRAINING.
YOU'RE BEING STRANGE.
WE CAN ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE.
GOING TO DIE SOON.
I'M READY FOR THAT.
IT'S GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU JUST WANNA FUCK SOMETIMES?
BYE.
YOUR MOM'S PROBABLY PRETTY GOOD LOOKING, EH?
SMILE.
OLIVER, ARE YOU OKAY?
THAT WAS SO WEIRD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
CALL ME.
OKAY, SKIP.
WHAT'S UP, LADIES!
WHOO!
SO THE FUCKING KING OF ALL OF THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
BANZAI!
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY? ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY IT? TO GET FUCKED UP!
SHIT TASTE GOOD. KING OF BEERS.
I THINK I'M THE ONLY NON-VIRGIN HERE.
YOU'RE DEFINITELY A VIRGIN.
YOU KNOW, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE "HEY" FITS
INTO THE ENGLISH LEXICON.
VERBIAGE FOR "ASSHOLES"?
RIGHT, NICK, LIKE YOU'VE EVER FUCKED ANYONE.
ONLY YOUR FUCKING MOM.
HEY!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY. FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I'M NOT A VIRGIN.
YOU'RE NOT? WHOA!
I LOST IT THIS SUMMER.
HM.
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY?
ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY?
TO GET FUCKED UP!
HIP CHECK.
OH, FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!
FUCK YOU!
MOTHERFUCKER!
HEY, VAL, DO YOU AND YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
EVER, LIKE, BLOW EACH OTHER?
WHAT'S HIS NAME? TESTY? TESTICLE?
TESORO'S NOT IMAGINARY.
HE'S REAL, DIPSHIT.
WHATEVER.
"A TREATISE OF RED AND GREEN..."
OH, JESUS, AGAIN WITH THE POETRY.
"AND EVERYTHING IS RED FORM.
AND BLUEBIRDS ARE PULLING."
BLUEBIRDS ARE PULLING ALL RIGHT.
SHOW US YOUR SAMURAI. ALL RIGHT LET ME SEE.
BORN TO BE A FUCKING NINJA.
IS IT UPSIDE DOWN?
YES. SHUT UP!
"AND YOUR BREATH IS KIND OF MELTING."
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, THOUGH, HOW YOU ALL WANNA, LIKE,
HAVE SEX WITH ME.
LIKE, EVERY GIRL IN THIS ROOM.
PROBABLY OLIVER, TOO.
I'M A FUCKING NINJA MASTER.
HOW'D I GET SO GOOD AT THIS, ANYWAY?
I'M SO FUCKING COOL.
BORN TO BE A FUCKING NINJA.
I WAS BORN TO BE A SAMURAI.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE WERE JUST KISSING.
ARE WE LEZZIES NOW? MM-HMM.
YEAH, YOU ARE.
SHUT UP!
FUCK BOTH OF YOU, HONESTLY.
FUCK YOU.
HEY, VAL, WHY DON'T YOU READ YOUR POETRY TO ALL OF US?
COME ON, I'D REALLY LIKE TO HEAR SOME.
"ABOVE A DOCK IN THE MIDDLE OF MAINE--"
CAN YOU SPEAK UP?
SUCH A DICK.
"THERE'S SOMETHING IVORY INSIDE--
WHAT?
I CAN'T HEAR YOUR POETRY.
FUCKING IDIOT.
NICK, YOU'RE SUCH A CHILD.
ALL RIGHT.
WHOA! MY GOD!
JUST CHILL.
SERIOUSLY, CHILL OUT.
WHOOPS!
GET OFF! OW!
DO YOU WRITE POETRY TOO, OLIVER?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
NO, COME SIT ON ME.
FOR SOME REASON I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE BOTH ASSHOLES.
TIME FOR SOME COKE.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO. IT'S REALLY GOOD.
IS THAT FUCKING BLOW?
OH!
BITCH!
FUCK YOU.
JUST MAKES YOU LOOK SO BAD-ASS.
VAL, WHAT ARE YOU, FUCKING AL PACINO?
SCARFACE? NO.
WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET THAT?
STOLE IT FROM MY BRO.
WONDER IF I CAN DO COKE AND NUNCHUCKS AT THE SAME TIME?
LET'S SEE THE SAMURAI DO IT.
CAREFUL THERE, MAN.
WHAT'S TESORO DOING?
HE'S SKATEBOARDING DOWN THERE.
HE'S GOT A PINK MOHAWK.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
NOW FOR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AM I DOING THIS ALL ALONE?
OH!
DAISY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FOOLING AROUND WITH NICK.
DOES HE EVEN HAVE A PENIS?
VAL, WHY DON'T YOU GO DRAW A DICK OR BLOW TESTE
OR TESORO, WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS.
DOES NICK HAVE A VAGINA?
YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND PROBABLY HAS A VAGINA.
WHOO, NUNCHUCKS!
SUCH A BONEY...
SO, YOU CAN TAKE MY SHIRT OFF,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF?
MM-HMM.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
IMAGINE HOW THAT WOULD FEEL.
GET US SOME ALCOHOL.
HEY, BABY.
MM.
HEY, OLIVER.
MM.
COME ON, DAISY, SHE'S ASLEEP,
SHE'S NOT GONNA GIVE A SHIT, COME ON.
NO, NO, NOT LIKE THAT.
LIKE THIS, THIS.
NO, IT'S TOO BIG.
OLIVER, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING AGAIN?
JESUS CHRIST.
I JUST WENT TO THIRD WITH DAISY.
MY GOD, SHE'S SO DIRTY.
IT WAS A BIG MOMENT FOR ME.
ANABEL'S FIRST, "O," COURTESY OF MOI.
AND SHE PROBABLY HAD A GASM.
SHE WAS FAKING.
SHE WAS PROBABLY FAKING.
OKAY. OKAY.
GUESS WHAT I JUST DID? WHAT?
THIRD BASE WITH DAISY, CUM GUZZLER.
MM.
IT'S ABOUT TIME, CUM GUZZLER.
YOUR MOM'S A FUCKING CUM GUZZLER.
SHE IS, ACTUALLY.
SHE'S NEXT.
UH, VAL, DID YOU TAKE MY HA-HA?
IS SAID DID YOU PURLOIN MY YAYO?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
SHUT UP, FAGGOT BOY.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I DIDN'T TAKE ANY SHIT, BILLY.
OH, THIS IS YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND.
HI. BILLY, STOP.
DON'T BE ALARMED, EVERYBODY.
HEY, VAL, GO SIT DOWN FOR A SEC.
BILLY, IT'S ON MY DESK.
SIT DOWN. I SAID SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
IT'S ON MY DESK.
I KNOW WHERE IT IS. SO WHAT THE FUCK?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
BILLY, STOP.
WHAT THE FUCK, BILLY?!
BILLY!
FUCK!
BYE-BYE, LADIES.
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M PISSING ON YOU, FUCK DOLL.
WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU, ASSHOLE?
FUCK YOU! YOU'RE A FUCKING FAG!
FUCK OFF.
FUCK YOU, BILLY!
FAGGOT.
OLIVER, GET THE FUCK OUT, MAN.
GET THE FUCK OUT, OLIVER!
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, OLLI?
I WAS TALKING TO LILA.
SHE WAS ASKING ABOUT YOU.
JESUS CHRIST, ADRIANA.
SO INCONSIDERATE!
SLAMMING DOORS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
I HAVE JUST GOTTEN TO SLEEP!
FUCK YOU!
I WANNA LIVE WITH DAD! I HATE YOU!
FUCK YOU!
WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?
WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
WELL, FUCK YOU TOO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER.
SHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M SLEEPING.
I'M MOVING IN WITH DAD.
MOM IS CRAZY.
NO, YOU'RE NOT. OH, YEAH?
YOU JUST WATCH ME. WATCH ME.
WHY DO YOU STEAL HER HAIRBRUSH EVERY MORNING?
OF COURSE YOU TAKE HER SIDE. THE FAVORITE.
ONE DAY I'M GONNA HAVE HER COMMITTED.
JUST GO BACK TO BED.
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE IN THE MORNING.
NO, IT'S TOO LATE. I'M LEAVING.
AND, YOU, UH, BETTER BE CAREFUL, OR ELSE YOU'LL END UP LIKE HER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WORE LEATHER PANTS TO PARENTS' DAY.
SO WHAT IF I'M WEARING LEATHER PANTS?
YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY ONE DAY THAT YOU HAVE A COOL MOM.
JESUS.
I HOPE YOU DON'T END UP A BANKER.
AND STOP CALLING ME "JOAN JETT"
IN FRONT OF THE OTHER PARENTS.
IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY.
I HAVE CANCER.
CHRISTMAS IS IN A FEW WEEKS,
YOU CAN'T HAVE CANCER.
RIGHT, I FORGOT.
NO CANCER ON THE HOLIDAYS.
I SAW AIDA.
YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT FEELING VERY WELL LATELY,
AND, UH--
WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M CHOKING. YOU'RE NOT, SIT DOWN.
I'M SERIOUS.
AND HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, JUST CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE YELLING AT ME WHEN I'M CHOKING.
I'M NOT-- OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT CHOKING.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
I'M CHOKING.
I NEED A DOCTOR.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
GOD DAMN CHEESECAKE.
OKAY, GREAT, WHY DON'T YOU SIT THERE?
LET ME TALK TO YOUR MOM, OKAY?
I'M SORRY, MRS. NICHOLAS, I CAN'T TAKE HIM
IN FRONT OF MY OTHER PATIENTS
WHEN THERE IS NO VISIBLE OBSTRUCTION.
BUT IF MY SON SAYS-- IT-- IT MUST'VE GONE DOWN.
WELL, GOOD.
GOOD, ALL RIGHT, UM, I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
ADRIANA, DINNER'S READY.
FOR ONCE WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FAMILY MEAL.
ADRIANA!
STOP.
SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
HELLO?
DOES SHE REALLY EXPECT US TO EAT THIS?
ADRIANA, IT'S YOUR FATHER.
HEY, DAD.
HI, SWEETIE, WHAT WAS THAT MESSAGE?
I-- I JUST CAN'T DO IT, ANYMORE.
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T TAKE MOM, AND...
HER AND OLIVER TOGETHER, AND...
YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO-- YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE EVERY DAY WITH HER
AND OLIVER AND THE TWO OF THEM, AND--
CAN'T I JUST COME LIVE WITH YOU?
ADRIANA, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT PRACTICAL.
I'M TRAVELING ALL THE TIME FOR WORK.
YOU CAN'T--
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR MOM.
YOU HAVE TO.
I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT--
YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE.
OKAY, SWEETIE, LISTEN, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M IN JAPAN.
I'LL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET BACK, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
LOTS OF LOVE, BYE. BYE.
LET'S EAT.
HELLO?
YES, MRS. NICHOLAS, THIS IS DR. ROOT AGAIN.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
HAVING OLIVER SEE A PSYCHIATRIST?
I MEAN, WITH HIS RECENT BEHAVIOR,
IT MIGHT BENEFIT HIM HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
THANK YOU.
I THINK I KNOW MY OWN SON.
IF THERE'S ANYONE HE CAN TALK TO, IT'S ME.
BUT THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.
THANK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
SO, I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN BANG THAT MALL CHICK.
SHE WAS ALL OVER ME.
I WAS PRACTICALLY IN,
AND THEN YOUR ASSHOLE BROTHER SHOWED UP.
I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM, ANYWAY?
WE SHOULD EXECUTE THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH.
NICK, COOL IT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO SUCK HIS DICK INSTEAD.
THAT MIGHT HELP.
HE ACTUALLY PISSED ON YOU,
AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA TAKE HIS BULLSHIT NOW?
ARE YOU REALLY THAT MAD THAT I GET MORE ACTION THAN YOU?
OKAY, YOU DON'T GET MORE FUCKING ACTION THAN ME.
DAISY SAID MAKING OUT WITH YOU WAS LIKE KISSING A BAG OF FISH.
YO, YOU REALLY THINK I GIVE A FUCK WHAT DAISY SAYS?
THAT GIRL HAS A MOLE ON HER FACE THE SIZE OF A CADILLAC.
WHATEVER.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DRAWING, ANYWAY?
IS THAT YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND?
I WAS TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY.
SHE ASKED ME IF I HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
BECAUSE SHE SAID IT'S A SIGN OF CREATIVITY.
HAVING AN IMAGINARY FRIEND IS A SIGN OF FAGGOTRY.
SO, OF COURSE, YOU HAVE ONE, VAL.
FUCK YOU. GO SUCK A DICK.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO YOUR MOM ABOUT TESORO?
YEAH, SO FUCKING WHAT.
WHAT'S WRONG, VAL?
TESORO JUST DISAPPEARED.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
ARE YOU AN IDIOT?
HONESTLY, HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL!
WELL, HE'S NOT HERE, OKAY?
OKAY, HE'S GONE, AND I DON'T--
WHAT THE-- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
YEAH!
OLIVER.
HEY.
HI, LILA.
STILL WANNA KISS ME?
OH, COME ON.
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T NOTICE.
I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, LILA.
CAN I COME?
YOU LIKE THAT SPENCE GIRL, DON'T YOU?
ANNABEL?
THAT'S VAL'S GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH, WELL, SHE LIKES YOU.
I HEARD SHE WAS USING VAL TO GET TO YOU.
I JUST... CAN'T.
WHAT IS IT, OLIVER?
YOU CAN TELL ME.
JUST TALK TO ME, PLEASE.
I HAVE TO GO, LILA.
I'M SORRY.
HEY.
SHE'S BEEN SLEEPING ALL DAY.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TOMORROW?
SO HE KNEW
WHEN HE PASSED THE HARNESS TO THE MAN NEXT TO HIM,
THAT HE WOULD DIE.
DO YOU WANT TO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR AIDA?
SO, YOU SEE,
THE MOST IMAGINATIVE ACT
IS TO PUT ANOTHER PERSON BEFORE YOU,
TO GIVE LOVE WITHOUT EXPECTING TO RECEIVE IT.
AND IN THIS SELF-CENTERED WORLD,
IT'S IMPORTANT TO GIVE
AND TO SHARE.
THAT'S WHAT OUR FATHER DID,
AND THAT IS OUR DUTY.
THAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE.
SO, WHEN YOU ALL GO HOME TODAY
AND YOU THINK ABOUT THIS STORY,
I WANT YOU ALL
TO THINK OF EACH OTHER AS A FAMILY,
BECAUSE THAT'S PRECISELY WHAT WE ARE.
IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT YOU LEAVE HERE WITH TODAY,
IT'S THAT.
PIECE OF SHIT.
IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS SHITTY MACHINE,
RIGHT, YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS GAME.
FUCK YOU, DAISY.
FUCK YOU.
WHY?
I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE?
GIVE ME A SLICE.
ANNABEL HAS A CRUSH ON YOU.
SHE'S BREAKING UP WITH VAL RIGHT NOW.
SO, THAT'S IT?
I'M SORRY.
VAL, WHAT'S UP?
FUCK THIS, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
DUDE.
I'M HAVING A PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT.
WANNA COME?
OLIVER?
I BROKE UP WITH VAL.
DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LEAVE THEM ALONE.
THEY LIKE EACH OTHER.
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
NO, YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM.
SHUT UP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
FUCK THIS.
AIDA.
HMM?
HELLO, ANYBODY HOME?
HELLO?
ANY OF YOU GUYS SEEN MY MAKEUP?
FUCK, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE, AND I'M GONNA BE SO LATE.
ADRIANA.
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU GUYS ARE SO GROSS.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! AAH!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER, STOP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
GET OFF! OLIVER!
HEY, OLLIE, HOW'S IT GOING?
AND YOU GOT, UH, TWO COFFEES.
I'LL GIVE YOU ONE OF THESE.
THAT'S TWO DOLLARS.
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GIVE YOU 50 CENTS.
AND, UH...
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING ELSE WITH THAT?
YOU WANT A PIECE OF CAKE?
HEY!
YOU LITTLE SON-OF-A-BITCH.
I'LL GET THAT LITTLE BASTARD.
HE COMES IN HERE ALL THE TIME.
HIM AND HIS FRIENDS.
NOW, COME ON.
WHAT?
COME ON NOW!
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE, YOU LITTLE PUNK!
PUNK.
... DAVID LETTERMAN. HELLO?
I'M TELLING YOU, DAVID LETTERMAN'S A COMIC GENIUS.
HE'S A FUCKING HICK. YOU'RE SUCH A DICK.
HEY, OLIVER.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
IS THAT FOR ME?
NO.
GET OFF THE PHONE, I'M EXPECTING CALLS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH HER.
AT LEAST ONE OF US SHOULD.
I DON'T THINK TESORO'S GONE.
I MEAN... HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GONE.
HE'S NOT COMING BACK.
HE'S GONE.
YEAH, BUT, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE.
I MEAN, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE HIM,
HE CAN STILL BE WITH US,
LIKE A SHADOW.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
GET OFF THE PHONE, MINI DOUCHE!
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT TO YOUR BROTHER.
I'M MAN-TRAINING HIM.
I'M LOOKING AT HIM RIGHT NOW, VAL.
HE'S WEARING A FUNNY TUX.
ONE OF THOSE MEXICAN ONES WITH FRILLS.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
VAL, GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE!
I'M SERIOUS!
HE'S HAVING FUN AND LAUGHING.
ARE YOU FUCKING NOT LISTENING TO ME, YOU LITTLE FUCK!
HE'S OKAY, VAL.
HE WANTS ME TO TELL YOU HE'S OKAY.
CAN YOU SEE HIM, VAL?
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
SURE, OLIVER, I SEE HIM.
THERE YOU ARE.
... CHRISTMAS BLOWOUT LIST.
SEE CRAZY EDDIE NOW.
HIS PRICES ARE INSANE!
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
I'M A VIRGIN.
I-- I WANT YOU, THOUGH.
I'M-- I'M READY.
NO TIP TODAY.
YOU KNOW YOU JUST CAUGHT ME OFF BALANCE.
"THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AIDA.
"HER WRINKLES THAT WERE NEVER MEAN.
"THE WAY SHE TYPED HER LETTERS HOME ON BLUE STATIONERY.
"THAT I NEVER HEARD HER YELL, NOT EVEN WHEN I DESERVED IT.
"HER LOVE FOR SPANISH SOAP-OPERAS.
THE WAY SHE SMELLED LIKE HAIRSPRAY AND GREEN SOAP."
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT US TO COME WITH YOU?
NO, HE WANTS TO GO ALONE.
THANKS, MOM.
THE AIRLINE WILL ASK YOU FOR THIS.
TAKE CARE.
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS ARE FORBIDDEN
AND THE PRINCES HANGED."
"NO ONE WAS EVER HURT.
OLIVER, YOU FINISH THE POEM."
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS ARE FORBIDDEN
"AND THE PRINCES HANGED.
NO ONE WAS EVER HURT BY BEING LOVED TOO MUCH."
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
READY?
YEAH, I'M READY.