0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,771 ["Christmas Time" by The Debonaires plays] 2 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,940 ♪ Now, the snow is falling ♪ 3 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:27,027 ♪ It's Christmas time again ♪ 4 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:35,953 ♪ For the end of December When the weather's getting chilly ♪ 5 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,957 ♪ The little boys and girls Party willy, willy nilly ♪ 6 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:44,211 ♪ But most of all When snow days fall ♪ 7 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,838 ♪ They know it's Christmas ♪ 8 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,007 ♪ Christmas time ♪ 9 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:53,845 ♪ When mother's in the kitchen Stuffing turkey ♪ 10 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:58,267 ♪ And little baby sister's Acting like kinda perky ♪ 11 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:02,145 ♪ But most of all When snow days fall ♪ 12 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,022 ♪ They know it's Christmas ♪ 13 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,942 ♪ Christmas time ♪ 14 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,405 ♪ Snowflakes are falling ♪ 15 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:15,617 ♪ Falling all around ♪ 16 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:20,038 ♪ May they keep on falling ♪ 17 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ 'Til they cover the ground ♪ 18 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:29,756 ♪ You start to get in the spirit My baby get jiggy ♪ 19 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:33,969 ♪ As we trim The Christmas tree ♪ 20 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:38,015 ♪ But most of all When snowflakes fall ♪ 21 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,891 ♪ They know it's Christmas ♪ 22 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,185 ♪ Christmas time ♪ 23 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:47,149 ♪ Snowflakes are falling ♪ 24 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:51,028 ♪ Falling all around ♪ 25 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,699 ♪ May they keep on falling ♪ 26 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,329 ♪ I know it's Christmas ♪ 27 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,457 ♪ Christmas Christmas ♪ 28 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:09,296 ♪ Christmas Time ♪ 29 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,679 [wind blowing] 30 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,074 [bell dinging] 31 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,679 -No, Samuel, not today. -Please? 32 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,516 That's $47.50. 33 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:51,064 Maynard, I know our tab is pretty high, but is there any way that we could...? 34 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,941 Oh, yeah, of course. 35 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,569 I'm sorry, it's just... as soon as Bill finds a job... 36 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,571 It's not a problem. I'll just write it down. 37 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,030 -You sure? -Yeah. 38 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,868 It's just with the darn mill closing and it being the holidays and all. 39 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,120 I understand. It's tough on everybody. 40 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,790 Thank you so much. 41 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,208 Don't worry about it. 42 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,006 Hey, Sam. 43 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,008 Here you go, buddy. 44 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,260 -Thanks, Maynard. -You bet ya. 45 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,179 Thank you. 46 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,976 [Parker clears her throat] 47 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,563 You're a good man, May. 48 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,649 What are you gonna do? The kid wanted a candy bar. 49 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,651 You know what I'm talking about. 50 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,112 Any coffee back there? 51 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,406 Two coffees coming up. 52 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,378 [bells ringing] 53 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,048 [sniffs, sighs] 54 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,759 Old cedar and fresh flowers. 55 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,928 Never get tired of the smell in here. 56 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,431 Afternoon, Bart. What you got? 57 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,058 I got elk steaks. 58 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,142 I got squab. 59 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,436 I got... wild boar. 60 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,440 -Is there anything you can't catch? -Yeah, a break. 61 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,317 You interested? 62 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,194 You know, Connie loves these elk steaks. 63 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,196 She'd kill me if I didn't bring something home. 64 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,739 I was kind of counting on that. 65 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,074 Hi, Parker. 66 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,408 Hello, Bart. 67 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:28,620 Here you go. 68 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,707 You still making that stuff? Moonshine will drive you crazy. 69 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,793 The way I look at it, 70 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:38,922 we live on this tiny little rock that's flying through the blackness of space 71 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,841 at about, what, 60,000 miles an hour? 72 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,009 And there's only one damn way to get off it. 73 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,804 If that thought don't make you crazy, I don't know what the hell will. 74 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,433 I guess you're right. Never thought of it that way. 75 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,562 That's because you spend most of your time stuck standing behind this counter. 76 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,898 You need to get out, Maynard, and breathe some life. 77 00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:59,067 I suppose I do. I suppose I do. 78 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,944 It all goes by in a flash, pal. 79 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,698 I mean, trust me, one day you'll wake up and go, "Where the hell did it all go?" 80 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,869 For the next time you wanna get a little crazy. 81 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,205 All right. Thanks. 82 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,916 -So, just the elk steaks? -That'll do it. 83 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,253 Tell that pretty little wife of yours she has excellent taste. 84 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,379 Will do. 85 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,715 Old cedar and fresh flowers, I love it. 86 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,717 Love it! 87 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,061 Hey, Park, you mind doing me a favor? 88 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,605 Of course. What's up? 89 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,357 You mind closing up tonight, running to the bank? 90 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,860 What happened, your house on fire? 91 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,488 I just wanna surprise Connie, you know? 92 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,325 Go home, grill up these steaks. 93 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,452 A nice bottle of wine. 94 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:51,912 Some flowers. 95 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,623 Breathe a little life. 96 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,291 Sweet, Maynard. 97 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,043 Yeah, I'll close up. 98 00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,628 [Maynard] All right. 99 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,047 Great. 100 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,299 Great. 101 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,345 ["Jingle All the Way" Playing on radio] 102 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:18,063 ♪ Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh ♪ 103 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:22,567 ♪ O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way ♪ 104 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:27,072 ♪ Bells on bob tails ring Making spirits bright ♪ 105 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,626 Hey, honey. 106 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:45,465 Now don't have a heart attack, but I decided to cut out a little early. 107 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,426 Wanted to spend a nice, romantic evening with you. 108 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:53,890 I hope you're hungry, 'cause I got a little something special planned for us. 109 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,477 Connie, you here? 110 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,981 [soft howling] 111 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,357 No way. 112 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,234 Did she get a puppy? 113 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,030 [dog howling] 114 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,619 [Connie] Maynard? 115 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,579 Connie? What's going on? 116 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,540 What are you doing here? 117 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,835 In my home? 118 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,211 No, I mean now. 119 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,672 I wanted to surprise you. 120 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,051 [Sheriff Jack] You know, I'm just gonna take off. 121 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,261 Jack? 122 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,097 -Is that...? What's going on? -I can explain this. 123 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,350 You can explain why you're dressed up like a rabbit 124 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,185 and having sex with a squirrel? 125 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,396 -I'm a wolf. -We don't have sex. 126 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,857 That's right. According to the club, you can't even have sex. 127 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,695 -Club? What club is this? -Well, it's the kind of club where-- 128 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,156 You-dress-up-like-a-squirrel- and-have-sex-my-wife club? 129 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,532 I'm a wolf. 130 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,367 How many people are in the club? 131 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:58,413 Well, in the tri-county area we got... what is it, 32? 132 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,833 Look, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while. 133 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,918 A while? How long has this been going on? 134 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,964 That's not important, Maynard. What is important is that I'm bored. 135 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,176 Get a hobby! Learn to knit, do macramé. 136 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,470 -Are you kidding me? -We don't do anything! 137 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,848 We don't go anywhere! I need some excitement in my life! 138 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:20,060 So instead of talking to me about it, somewhere in your brain, 139 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,895 the thing that makes sense, is to go out 140 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,022 and have sex with a squirrel? 141 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,273 I'm a wolf! 142 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,442 [howls] 143 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,862 Get it? It doesn't make any sense as a squirrel! 144 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:31,988 It's gotta be a wolf! 145 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,615 Jack, we have been friends forever. 146 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:34,699 I know. 147 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,913 That's why I'm gonna need to ask a favor of you. 148 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,289 Sure thing, whatever you need, buddy. 149 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,208 You know, I'm kind of a big deal in this town 150 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,419 and don't think it'd be good if people knew I was a furry. 151 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,379 What's a furry? 152 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,382 Furry. It's this club we belong to. 153 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,719 Well, don't 32 other people already know? 154 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,722 Seriously, Maynard, okay? I'm gonna need your word on this. 155 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,979 I think we need to take some time apart and think about what we really want. 156 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,739 Maynard! Maynard! You're gonna have to keep a tight lip on this. 157 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,909 I'm kind of a big deal around here. 158 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,747 -Well, I am. -I know. 159 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,042 ["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" with Alvin and the Chipmunks plays] 160 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,754 ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ 161 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,173 ♪ And a happy new year ♪ 162 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:38,680 ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy new year ♪ 163 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:43,685 [chipmunks on radio] Merry Christmas everybody! 164 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,198 You're still here. 165 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,951 I was just about to call it a night. 166 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,996 That's why you're the best. 167 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,747 Are you drunk? 168 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:11,004 First time since my wedding night, and we all know how that turned out. 169 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,464 I don't understand. What happened? 170 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,342 Well... 171 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,888 I went out to breathe some life... 172 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,850 and then life decided to take a poop on my face. 173 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:27,937 So, I ended up breathing poop instead. 174 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,857 Rabbit and squirrel poop, to be precise. 175 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,276 What? Maynard, you're not making any sense. 176 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,946 You're right! Because he wasn't a squirrel. 177 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,699 He was a wolf! He's a wolf. 178 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:43,161 [howls in high pitch] 179 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:48,166 Doesn't work if he's a squirrel. It only works if he's a wolf. 180 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,127 Sorry for the confusion. It was a wolf. 181 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,670 Let's make you some coffee. 182 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:56,382 -No, I want my moonshine. -Okay. 183 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,176 Bart gave me this. 184 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,895 This stuff is making me crazy. 185 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,023 -No argument here. -It's okay, Parker. 186 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:17,779 'Cause you gotta get crazy sometime, because of the speeding little rock. 187 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,955 -You want some? -No, I think I'm good. 188 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,290 Let's get you home. 189 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,711 I don't have a home. 190 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,800 Of course you do and Connie's gonna be worried sick. 191 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,134 There's no Connie. 192 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:46,516 She's been replaced by the Easter Bunny's evil twin 193 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,271 She left me. 194 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:52,897 What? 195 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,442 Yeah. 196 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,363 Oh, Maynard. 197 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,367 I'm so sorry. 198 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,746 Is there anything that...? 199 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,332 Is there anything that I can...? 200 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,586 No. 201 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,047 I just wanna sit here. 202 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,259 Let me take you back to my place. 203 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,511 It's fine. 204 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,306 It's fine. 205 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,142 I just wanna be here alone... 206 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,937 think about wolves, and rocks, and stuff. 207 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,398 You sure you don't want me to stay with you? 208 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,525 Let me ask you a question. 209 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,235 This is very important. 210 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:40,778 Okay. 211 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,532 Do you belong to a furry sex club? 212 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,743 I think you'll be fine by yourself. 213 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,371 -It's important to me. -Yeah. 214 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,916 I don't want you to wind up like a furry animal sex freak. 215 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,461 I'm gonna come back first thing in the morning, okay? 216 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,088 And you do me a favor and get some rest. 217 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,716 Okay? 218 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,024 [howls] 219 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,236 You were right, my friend. 220 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,449 Here's to going crazy. 221 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,392 All right... 222 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,437 I'll play freaky forest animals with ya. 223 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:05,840 You know what a gorilla would do to a bunny, 224 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,718 or a squirrel, or whatever? 225 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,929 Eat them alive! 226 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,791 [Parker] Maynard? [gasps] 227 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,752 Oh! Maynard, you should get up! 228 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,838 Okay? I'll just-- I'll shut the door. 229 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,089 Bunny. 230 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:48,674 Squirrels. 231 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,134 Gorilla. 232 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,016 What are all these people doing here? 233 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,101 [announcer on radio] And now, for a story on a... 234 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,102 You gotta see this. 235 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,814 We go out live to Stacy Gutierrez for a special report. 236 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,858 -Stacy. -Thanks, John. 237 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:09,070 Hi, this is Stacy Gutierrez, 238 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:14,867 live in front of the once thriving, but now abandoned, Pottersville Mill. 239 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,245 I'm here with the local townsfolk 240 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:22,416 who claim to have witnessed what they're calling, well, a Bigfoot sighting. 241 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,794 So, tell me, what did you see? 242 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,296 Well, we were all out in the woods smoking a... 243 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,631 You know, hanging out. 244 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,175 When all of a sudden this big, huge, hairy thing 245 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,969 comes running by, screaming. 246 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,304 We were like, "Hey, how stoned are you?" 247 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:42,645 And then we realized we all saw it, and we were like... "cool." 248 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:46,274 I was upstairs dozing off when I heard her scream. 249 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:49,443 I heard this ruckus in the backyard and looked out the window 250 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,488 and I saw this... thing, chasing a bunny. 251 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,365 [man] I come running down the stairs, 252 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,827 turned on the back porch lights and there it was. 253 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,496 We saw it. Squatch. 254 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,374 [Stacy Gutierrez] You've lived here your entire life, correct? 255 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,209 [man] Yes, ma'am, I have. 256 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,232 [Gutierrez] Have you ever seen anything like this before? 257 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,965 No, ma'am. Like the kid said, it was a big, hairy thing. 258 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,010 Sort of half man, half gorilla. 259 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,555 You know, like them cavemen you see in the picture books... 260 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,974 that ain't quite evolved yet. 261 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,311 And all that chasing the bunny must have made him pretty thirsty, 262 00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:27,440 'cause he was out there in our little boy peeing fountain drinking. 263 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:31,027 I mean, literally, the little boy was peeing right in his mouth. 264 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,153 [Gutierrez] Then what happened? 265 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,406 [man] Then he just disappeared into the darkness. 266 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,742 -There you have it, John. -Can you believe that? 267 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,911 -A pretty incredible story. -Yeah, that's something. 268 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,747 Bigfoot, right here, in our own backyard. 269 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,750 I might have to come up there to try and catch a glimpse of him myself. 270 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:46,876 That sucks. 271 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,711 -[Gutierrez] You should! -[both laugh] 272 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,338 I'll be right back. 273 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,048 Is everything...? 274 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,009 Sir, I'm sorry. Can you pick up, please? 275 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,136 Is he here? 276 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,555 We have a bit of an emergency going on right now, Maynard. 277 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,349 Trust me, he's gonna want to hear about this. 278 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,684 All right. Go ahead. 279 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,769 Ma'am, can you repeat that, please? 280 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,604 Sure. Absolutely. 281 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:57,029 Yeah, well, we could either do it here in my office, or go out to Phoebe's Knob. 282 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,614 Four o'clock. Thank you. 283 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,367 I was gonna talk to you, man, I promise, 284 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,078 but things are nuts around here this morning. 285 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:05,287 Yeah. 286 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,416 Maynard, I'm not having an affair with Connie. 287 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,876 It's just about the club. 288 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,754 I mean, hell, that could've been anybody from the club up in your bedroom. 289 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,133 Thanks. I feel a lot better now. 290 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,051 There's nothing romantic. I'd never do that. 291 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,345 It's just about the costumes. 292 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,432 Speaking of costumes... 293 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,851 Sheriff, sorry to interrupt, 294 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,312 but there's a producer from some television show on the phone for you. 295 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,816 Thanks, Tammy. Look, I've gotta take this. But... 296 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,401 We're okay, right? 297 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,654 Hey, I'm never gonna rub the bunny again. I promise. 298 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,824 -I gotta show you something. -I gotta take this. 299 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,909 Everybody's apeshit over this Bigfoot business. 300 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,245 Later, okay? We'll talk later, all right? 301 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,750 Hello. Yeah, this is Sheriff Clark. 302 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,710 -Okay. -Yeah. 303 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:53,836 Hi, how are you? 304 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,715 Good to hear your voice as well. 305 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:03,012 Well, let's see. Maybe we can make something work... 306 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,482 Just the man we were looking for. 307 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,275 We were wondering if you could do us a favor. 308 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,695 Now, we've been researching this whole Bigfoot thing, and people really love him. 309 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,654 It's true. 310 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,241 He's been around for centuries, and people on every continent 311 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,995 and that speak every language, they just can't get enough of this guy. 312 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,790 Yeah, so we've decided to get into the Bigfoot business. 313 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:34,168 We're gonna start this whole cottage industry... 314 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:37,713 Bigfoot t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, baby onesies, you name it. 315 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:41,175 Everything. We were just wondering if we could sell some stuff in your store? 316 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:44,136 So, what do you think? 317 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,602 Sure, fellas. Whatever you need. 318 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,313 Awesome. 319 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:55,481 Thanks. 320 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,653 -Hey. -Hey. 321 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:04,114 I was wanting to talk to you about last night. I've been thinking-- 322 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:06,492 I know we need to talk, Maynard, I just can't right now. 323 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,952 I've got something to do. 324 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:11,372 -What's more important than-- -Bigfoot. 325 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,250 Seriously? You believe in all that? 326 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,043 Are you kidding me? 327 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,670 I love it. 328 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,714 It's the most exciting thing to happen to this town for decades. 329 00:22:32,532 --> 00:22:34,144 [Connie, voice-over] It's is the most exciting thing 330 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,768 to happen to this town for decades. 331 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,815 [Bart, voice-over] Stuck standing behind this counter. 332 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:38,983 You need to get out, Maynard! 333 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,734 [Tony] Just the man we were looking for. 334 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:43,279 [Norm] ...this whole Bigfoot thing, and people really love him. 335 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,531 [Sheriff Jack] Everybody's apeshit over this Bigfoot business. 336 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,367 [TV announcer] Wow. Bigfoot, right here, in our own backyard. 337 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,370 ["Sleigh Ride" with the Andrews Sisters plays] 338 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:56,208 ♪ We're going on a sleigh ride All together, let’s go get in ♪ 339 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:04,550 ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, Ring ting tingling too ♪ 340 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,177 ♪ Come on its lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you ♪ 341 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,846 [Gutierrez] How tall would you say that he was? 342 00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,557 I saw him from the front and he was big. 343 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:14,184 ♪ ... And friends are calling "Yoo hoo" ♪ 344 00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:19,106 ♪ Come on its lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you ♪ 345 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,901 ♪ Giddy up, giddy up Giddy up, let's go ♪ 346 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,153 Just more of grunts or growls? 347 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:25,863 It's like Sasquatch language. 348 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:30,075 ♪ We're riding in A wonderland of snow ♪ 349 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:31,869 Thank you, ladies. Enjoy your stay in Pottersville. 350 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:35,581 ♪ Giddy up it's grand Just holding your hand ♪ 351 00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:39,877 ♪ As we glide along, sing a song Of a wintry fairy land ♪ 352 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:43,964 ♪ Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy cozy are we ♪ 353 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:47,635 [Bigfoot screams] 354 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:53,849 ♪ Let's take that road before us And sing a chorus or two ♪ 355 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:58,562 ♪ Come on its lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you ♪ 356 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,402 Merry Christmas, Bigfoot! 357 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:16,121 If this keeps up, we're gonna need to hire some help. 358 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,792 It's kind of nice, isn't it? All these new people visiting the town? 359 00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:22,836 Oh my God! Guys! Come quick! 360 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,005 -What's going on? -Come on! You're not gonna believe it! 361 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,686 Brock! 362 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,273 Monsters are here! 363 00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:44,525 Land it here! 364 00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,154 Who's that? 365 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:52,616 You've never seen his show? Oh, it's awesome. 366 00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,952 Each week he goes after some monster... 367 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,163 Loch Ness, Chupacabra, the Abominable Snowman. 368 00:24:58,664 --> 00:24:59,957 This dude's amazing! 369 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:07,172 There's a rumor floating around that there may be a Sasquatch in these parts. 370 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,426 Exactly. Follow me on Twitter. 371 00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:18,017 For starters, let's see a show of hands... 372 00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:21,645 How many of you have actually seen the Squatch? 373 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:25,941 Wow. What about you, love? What exactly did you see? 374 00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:29,403 I was about to get in my car and whoosh... 375 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:30,696 he ran right in front of me. 376 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,531 He must have been ten feet tall. 377 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,700 -He was as big as a tree. -Three meters. 378 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,995 I saw him out at Grasshopper Hill, and if Millie says he was ten feet tall, 379 00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:41,081 I gotta say he was even bigger. I think he was as big as a house. 380 00:25:43,834 --> 00:25:45,169 Did Connie enjoy her elk? 381 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:49,798 Well, she's been enjoying all kinds of animals lately. 382 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,765 From everything I've heard, it sounds to me 383 00:25:58,098 --> 00:26:00,851 like we should start our search at the Grasshopper Hill. 384 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:04,229 If any of you would like to join us, despite the peril, 385 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:05,773 we could use your help. 386 00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,316 I could form a search party. 387 00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:09,860 Much obliged, sheriff. Cheers. 388 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,153 Cheers back to you. 389 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:13,405 I'm a huge fan of you. 390 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:16,325 I'm gonna get you an autograph. Remind me to get him an autograph. 391 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,286 -Don't forget. -Oh my God. 392 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,414 Well, well, this is quite a turn out. 393 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,584 Sheriff, if you don't mind. 394 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:32,216 All right folks, I want you to spread out and form a single-file line. 395 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,885 A single-file line, people. 396 00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:36,595 Now, these are not toys. 397 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,597 Not a toy. All right? 398 00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:43,060 These are only to be used if you find something or run into some evidence. 399 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:46,188 And if you do, make sure you don't touch anything. 400 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,898 Do not touch anything. 401 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,943 -Is there an echo out here? -Sorry. 402 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,152 Showtime. 403 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,867 One for you and for you, nice lady. 404 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:23,809 [whistle blows] 405 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:28,897 What did you find? 406 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,150 Well, I saw this, but I didn't know if... 407 00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:34,236 Dang it, Jasper, it's just a dead deer. 408 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,073 Did I not tell you that these were not toys? 409 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:39,283 I know, but... 410 00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:41,577 Are you stoned, Jasper? 411 00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:44,204 Because I swear, I will drag you down to the station, 412 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:47,791 -and I will drug test your butt. -He will drug test your butt. 413 00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:50,377 Wait, wait, look here. 414 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,385 That is very interesting, isn't it? 415 00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,013 Very interesting indeed. 416 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,058 Do you see how the leg is snapped back there? 417 00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:10,063 -Only a Squatch would do that. -Or a hole. 418 00:28:10,439 --> 00:28:11,565 What's that, then? 419 00:28:11,899 --> 00:28:15,194 Probably stepped in a hole, broke its leg and died from exposure. 420 00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:23,035 For your information, this type of injury is mostly seen 421 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,246 amongst the deer of the Mt. Tamborine region of Queensland, 422 00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:28,290 caused by the Australian Yowie. 423 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:30,959 I have heard of rare instances 424 00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,503 where it's been done by its North American cousin... 425 00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:35,589 The Bigfoot. 426 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,884 But I've never seen it before with my own eyes... 427 00:28:39,593 --> 00:28:40,719 until right now. 428 00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:46,183 So, thanks for the input, mate, but... I think I'm the expert here. 429 00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:48,644 Now, now. 430 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:51,396 This was definitely a Squatch. 431 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,069 Spike, we'll go one more as a promo, yeah? 432 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,529 -Great idea. -Keep me in like a cowboy, yeah? 433 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:00,572 You got me? 434 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:01,865 Three, two... 435 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:07,829 There's definitely a Squatch in these woods. 436 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,918 One more. I'm gonna do the spectacles because it's kind of neat. 437 00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:14,920 Change up. 438 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,213 Three, two... 439 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,300 There's definitely a Squatch in these woods. 440 00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,470 I didn't love that one. I'm gonna go one more time. And... 441 00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:27,641 Really be with me on when "There's a Squatch in the woods," yeah? 442 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:29,101 All right. 443 00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:31,979 Action. 444 00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:34,898 There's definitely a Squatch in these woods. 445 00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,693 -That one. Great. -Yeah. 446 00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,319 Now where do we get a Foster's? 447 00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:43,240 Foster's. It's Australian for beer. 448 00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:45,284 Oh, beer. 449 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:49,037 So, what do you do now, Mr. Masterson? 450 00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:50,789 Now we must track the beast. 451 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:55,335 We must venture out at night. Alone. That's very important. 452 00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:59,381 The Squatch is a primarily nocturnal creature. 453 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,591 It will be incredibly dangerous, 454 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:07,222 but we must strive to get some film or photographic evidence of it. 455 00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:09,308 So, are we actually gonna be on TV? 456 00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:12,686 Unless anybody's got a problem with this town being... famous. 457 00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:20,277 I'm not sure how many of you saw my adventure into to the Himalaya 458 00:30:20,694 --> 00:30:22,237 to search of the Yeti? 459 00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,363 You were so brave. 460 00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:29,077 Do you ever dress up like the animals you're in search of? 461 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,413 You know, like camouflage? 462 00:30:31,872 --> 00:30:34,916 Can't say that I have, but I like your thinking. 463 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:38,170 Somebody get me a net, I think I found a mermaid. 464 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:40,881 She's not. She's got legs. 465 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:46,011 I wrote a little song about my quest for the Yeti, 466 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:48,847 and I don't suppose you'd like me to play for you right now, would you? 467 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,098 No, I couldn't. 468 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,731 This is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. 469 00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,069 Sorry. 470 00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:04,029 Always chokes me up. Thank you. 471 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:08,742 -Hey, I need to-- -Not now, Maynard. 472 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:10,535 Brock is about to sing. 473 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,541 [Brock Masterson singing] ♪ I took a trek on the outer ridge ♪ 474 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,960 ♪ Saw many amazing things ♪ 475 00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:21,755 ♪ I crossed land and water and bridge ♪ 476 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,175 ♪ Like a bird without its wings ♪ 477 00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:27,844 ♪ And then days and days of searching ♪ 478 00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:29,846 ♪ All hope was lost in sight ♪ 479 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,391 ♪ My body tired and lurching ♪ 480 00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:36,269 ♪ I gathered up my might ♪ 481 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,608 ♪ And there it was in the distance ♪ 482 00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:44,611 ♪ Wandering amongst the trees ♪ 483 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:47,572 ♪ It left me in a magical trance ♪ 484 00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:52,577 ♪ My one and only Yeti ♪ 485 00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:54,538 ♪ Oh my Yeti ♪ 486 00:31:56,123 --> 00:32:00,001 ♪ You strange and wonderful beast ♪ 487 00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,880 ♪ Oh Yeti Oh Yeti ♪ 488 00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:06,425 ♪ Oh my Yeti ♪ 489 00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:09,094 ♪ We shared one moment ♪ 490 00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:12,013 ♪ At least ♪ 491 00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:16,184 There's a lot more verses, but I'm not gonna bore you with that. 492 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:18,603 I couldn't possibly. 493 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,149 I did write a poem about the Chupacabra. 494 00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:24,109 [loud screeching] 495 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:31,074 Now, you all know who I am. 496 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:33,535 What I do for a living. 497 00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:36,204 If you really wanna put this town on the map... 498 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:39,332 be world famous, flooded with tourists... 499 00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:43,420 We gotta be the first to catch this Bigfoot, or Squatch, 500 00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:45,338 or Yeti... whatever you call it. 501 00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:47,632 Well, I'll catch this bird for you, but it won't be easy. 502 00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:51,386 It won't be like catching a squirrel or a cute little bunny rabbit. 503 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:53,555 And it won't be pleasant. 504 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:56,099 But you all gotta make up your minds about something. 505 00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:59,478 I mean, do you wanna go back to being the same old, boring town, 506 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:03,440 or be the Pottersville that the whole world knows about? 507 00:33:04,524 --> 00:33:06,693 'Cause I'll find him. I'll catch him. 508 00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:11,281 And it'll give you a hell of a lot more than one TV show. 509 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:16,703 Thanks Bart, we'll take that into consideration. 510 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,208 Think about it. 511 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,627 Let me know. 512 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:25,295 Sheriff. 513 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:28,465 Mr. Singing Television Man. 514 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:31,343 Ladies and gentlemen. 515 00:33:42,312 --> 00:33:43,730 Connie, please don't say anything. 516 00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:46,942 Okay? I just need you to sit there for a moment and listen to me. 517 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:53,240 I'm Bigfoot. 518 00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:57,160 I know-- I know it sounds crazy, but I am. 519 00:33:57,410 --> 00:34:01,456 I mean, I'm not, obviously. Really, it's just a costume. 520 00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:06,836 You know how you said you loved it? 521 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,465 And you said you needed some excitement in your life, and... 522 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,468 and this is the most exciting thing to happen for years? 523 00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:17,389 That's why I did it. I did it for you. 524 00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,643 I did it for all Pottersville. 525 00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:28,858 Now I just need to keep this thing going long enough until they get their show. 526 00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:33,572 So many people have their heart set on it. 527 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,198 I can't let them down. 528 00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,205 I just thought you should know. 529 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:19,576 -Hey, Ali? -Yeah? 530 00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:22,370 Can you find out if there's a place in town that does eyebrow threading? 531 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:24,581 -Oh, yeah. -I'd like them tweaked a little bit. 532 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,124 Okay. Shall we? Yeah? 533 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:28,960 I will bite it off if you do that again. I'll bite the hand clean off. 534 00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,046 -Swallow it. -Please don't touch him. 535 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:32,839 Thanks. 536 00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,841 Good luck to cowboy. Yeah? 537 00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,343 -The opening? -We're set. 538 00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:38,053 We'll do the whole opening from the top. 539 00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,555 And in three, two, one. I'm coming in hot. 540 00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:42,307 We get our first shot. And... 541 00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:47,562 Here we are out at Grasshopper Hill, amidst the flora and fauna, 542 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,399 where there have been numerous reports of a Sasquatch. 543 00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:52,984 Well, we've all... 544 00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:58,031 What are you doing? 545 00:35:58,865 --> 00:35:59,991 I'm sorry? 546 00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:01,618 You're sorry? 547 00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:06,289 You're sorry? You're... in my eye line when I'm doing the intro of my lifetime. 548 00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:11,294 Maybe the greatest intro ever and I've got you in my eye line with this. 549 00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:13,922 What's that? Are you a professional? 550 00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:15,340 -Yeah. -Yeah? 551 00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:19,594 -I was-- -Why don't you use your head, mate? 552 00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:21,805 -What were you doing? -I was-- 553 00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:23,431 I was... 554 00:36:24,891 --> 00:36:26,601 -I was checking the light. -Checking the light. 555 00:36:27,143 --> 00:36:30,897 He's checking the light. How was it? 556 00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,440 How's the light? 557 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,652 -'Cause the show now is rubbish. -I'm sorry. 558 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,320 -He's sorry. -It won't happen again. 559 00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:38,905 Sorry and it won't happen again. 560 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,325 It will not happen again, 561 00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:45,537 because I'll use your butt as Bigfoot bait, okay? 562 00:36:45,662 --> 00:36:47,163 -It won't happen again. -It won't happen again. 563 00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:49,207 Ready? Shall we try it again? 564 00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:52,627 Without this idiot in my shot? Okay. Ready? 565 00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:54,295 Best show ever. Here we go. 566 00:36:54,671 --> 00:36:58,925 First positions. Everybody knows where they're supposed to be. Okay. 567 00:37:02,804 --> 00:37:06,933 I'm gonna prep it and come in hot. Coming in hot. Okay. 568 00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:09,227 Three, two, one. 569 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:12,272 We're out here at Grasshopper Hill. 570 00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:15,358 Let's switch on the night vision. 571 00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:18,194 And see if this Squatch wants to come out and dance. 572 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,744 There is an interesting detail... 573 00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:31,624 which is that the Squatch, particularly the North American Squatch, 574 00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:34,335 he's drawn to wood. 575 00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:39,632 And the reason being because the wood has so much sap in it... 576 00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:41,676 it's got tons and tons of sap, 577 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,512 and the Squatch feeds on this sap, 578 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,682 to feed its powerful libido. 579 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,186 Let's see if we can draw him out. 580 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,563 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 581 00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:00,069 Come out for sap. 582 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,161 Did you hear the rustle? We've got something. 583 00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:14,334 I think we've got something. 584 00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,839 Let's see... 585 00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,968 if we can get this Squatch to respond to our claps. 586 00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:30,809 The Squatch is inclined to mimic us, its human cousin. 587 00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:34,729 Let's see if it will mimic my claps. 588 00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:47,951 We'll go again. 589 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:51,287 Come out and dance, Squatch. Come out and dance. 590 00:38:57,126 --> 00:38:58,211 We've got something. 591 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:00,380 Okay. Selfie stick. 592 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:04,759 Ladies and gentlemen, I, Brock Masterson, 593 00:39:05,552 --> 00:39:08,429 here at Grasshopper Hill, shall now attempt 594 00:39:08,888 --> 00:39:11,599 to communicate with the Squatch. 595 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:17,105 [howls] 596 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:21,818 [Bigfoot growls] 597 00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:27,156 Wilkins, okay, best work ever, but you're way too close. 598 00:39:27,323 --> 00:39:28,533 Back it off a little, please. 599 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:32,078 -That wasn't me. -Okay. Very, very funny, mate. 600 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:34,789 You sound great, but it's way too close so back it off, 601 00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,916 and, like, 50 percent of that, okay? 602 00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:39,711 I'm telling you that wasn't me, I swear. 603 00:39:43,131 --> 00:39:44,007 Wilkins? 604 00:39:47,427 --> 00:39:48,303 Wilkins? 605 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:51,806 I think there's something really out here. 606 00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:53,474 What? 607 00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:57,437 I don't know, but it just ran past me and he's heading in your direction. 608 00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,606 [Bigfoot growls] 609 00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:03,318 [scared panting] 610 00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:07,780 I don't think they got their picture. 611 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:15,622 Great. I'm all packed, we'll get the hell out of here. 612 00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:18,207 You can cut the Brock routine, it's only me. 613 00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,001 -Where's your stuff? -I've been thinking... 614 00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,670 -I just talked to the network... -No... 615 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,548 I'm done with this nonsense 616 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:28,134 and this ridiculous third-rate cable TV show 617 00:40:28,217 --> 00:40:30,511 that, by the way, is just barely beating the Family Feud. 618 00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:32,347 -Just hear me out. -No. Ain't gonna happen, okay? 619 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:35,391 Are you nuts? I'm not gonna let my ass get eaten by Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, 620 00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:37,018 or whatever the hell thing is out in the woods. 621 00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,187 -I will not let that happen. -Did you see that thing? 622 00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:43,107 Obviously, I wouldn't have done this if I thought Bigfoot was real. 623 00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:44,275 Calm down. 624 00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:45,777 This is what we do. 625 00:40:46,027 --> 00:40:48,529 We get that local hunter guy, you know, with the fingernails... 626 00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:51,407 -Are you nuts? -I talked to network, they love the idea. 627 00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:55,495 Think about it, not only does it make a great show, 628 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:57,830 but if he actually catches Bigfoot... 629 00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:01,209 You mean, if I actually catch Bigfoot. 630 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:05,171 Right, if you catch Bigfoot, 631 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:09,926 you will be the biggest star in the world. 632 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,221 -You really think so? -Are you kidding me? 633 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:15,515 It would be the greatest moment in television history. 634 00:41:17,558 --> 00:41:18,768 So, I think what you mean is... 635 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:21,729 it would get me off this stupid show, right? 636 00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:24,148 I mean, if I catch Bigfoot, that's our biggest episode ever. 637 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,400 No way to top that. 638 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:27,443 Perfect time to retire Brock. 639 00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:29,696 Blaze of glory. 640 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:34,242 -Start doing movies like we talked about. -That's what I'm saying. 641 00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:36,369 So what do you think? 642 00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:39,497 Crikey! 643 00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:44,919 I know. This face is such a movie face, right? 644 00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:46,212 Such good face. 645 00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:48,506 Yeah? 646 00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:50,008 Bart, it's me. 647 00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:51,676 Who the hell is me? 648 00:41:52,135 --> 00:41:53,386 It's me, Bart. It's Jack. 649 00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:57,140 The sheriff. 650 00:41:57,890 --> 00:42:00,226 If you've come for my still, you can piss off. 651 00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:02,437 I'm not here for the still, Bart. 652 00:42:02,645 --> 00:42:05,148 Look, I got a couple of people out here who wanna talk to you. 653 00:42:06,149 --> 00:42:07,692 People from the TV studio. 654 00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:12,864 Hi. 655 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:17,160 -What do you want? -We want you to help us catch Bigfoot. 656 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:19,454 How much? 657 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:21,956 We can pay you 5,000 dollars. 658 00:42:22,248 --> 00:42:26,669 Five thousand to go with you, 10,000 to find him and catch him. 659 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:33,718 -Fine. -And we do it my way. 660 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:35,887 -Meaning what? -We go alone. 661 00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,139 You and me alone in the woods? 662 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,434 What about the crew? We have a whole show to shoot. 663 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:42,894 I suggest you bring your camera. 664 00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:44,270 Not quite that simple, mate. 665 00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:46,272 -We can figure it out. -There's hair and makeup and such. 666 00:42:46,355 --> 00:42:48,941 We're not going to catch imps and fairies. We're going out to catch-- 667 00:42:49,025 --> 00:42:50,526 You know what? I'm coming with. 668 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:51,986 -The hell you are. -Actually, wait. 669 00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:54,238 I think-- that, actually, is a very good idea. 670 00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:56,282 Bart, I'm the sheriff, okay? 671 00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,409 And if we're gonna catch Bigfoot, I'm gonna be there. 672 00:42:58,534 --> 00:42:59,744 It's a great idea. 673 00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:02,413 Alright, the three of us. 674 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,210 We ain't opening a beauty parlor. By the truck in ten. 675 00:43:08,211 --> 00:43:09,087 Go on. 676 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:10,171 Ten minutes by the truck. 677 00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:11,672 We love your house. 678 00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:17,011 [Brock] Couldn't be a beauty parlor under the circumstances. 679 00:43:17,095 --> 00:43:19,097 I just don't understand even the reference. 680 00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:24,519 Keep the change. Don't worry about it. 681 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,854 Gee, thanks. Enjoy your stay in Pottersville. 682 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,022 Let's go, boys. 683 00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:40,827 [woman] I suppose the next thing you're gonna tell me 684 00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:42,703 is that you had lunch with Bigfoot. 685 00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:44,664 Did he ask for his pants back? 686 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:45,873 [woman #2] Are you calling me fat? 687 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:49,752 -If the shoe fits-- -Ladies, what in the world? 688 00:43:49,836 --> 00:43:52,588 She's trying to say that she's seen Bigfoot more than I have. 689 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:56,342 But everybody knows she's just trying to get on the show. 690 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:57,718 All right, that's enough. 691 00:43:58,386 --> 00:44:00,638 You two should be ashamed of yourselves. 692 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:06,727 Good Lord, what is going on around here? 693 00:44:08,771 --> 00:44:09,939 Thank you. 694 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:14,694 Step right up, folks, get your brand new Bigfoot merchandise. 695 00:44:14,777 --> 00:44:18,197 That's right. Get it while we still have a Bigfoot. 696 00:44:18,281 --> 00:44:19,991 What did you mean, "while we still have a Bigfoot"? 697 00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:21,868 Because of Bart. 698 00:44:21,951 --> 00:44:24,203 -What about him? -You didn't hear? 699 00:44:24,287 --> 00:44:26,038 They're putting him on Monster Finder. 700 00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:27,623 What? 701 00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:31,043 You know Bart, if anybody can catch Bigfoot, it's him. 702 00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:32,587 -Let's get these unpacked. -Okay. 703 00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:34,547 You got it. 704 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:40,428 Guns, huh? 705 00:44:42,471 --> 00:44:45,808 How the hell did you think we were gonna catch him, with a big butterfly net? 706 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:49,020 Oh, yeah. We can't kill it, right? 707 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,980 Just tranq' guns, Brock. 708 00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:52,607 Make him go beddie-byes. 709 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,734 Right, tranq’ guns. 710 00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:57,695 -Tranq' guns, Eileen, I knew that. -What? 711 00:44:57,778 --> 00:44:59,822 I was testing you guys. Of course they are tranq’ guns. 712 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:02,909 Sheriff, would you be a doll? I got a bit of a Yoga injury. 713 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,996 I got a Yoga injury. Thank you. 714 00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:09,457 Thanks, lovely. 715 00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:15,421 I wish they'd find whoever's doing it and just be done with it already. 716 00:45:15,504 --> 00:45:16,547 Doing what? 717 00:45:16,672 --> 00:45:17,965 Pretending to be Bigfoot. 718 00:45:19,467 --> 00:45:21,552 How do you know it's someone pretending? 719 00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,012 [laughs] 720 00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:25,264 Because there's no such thing as a Bigfoot. 721 00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,058 Hmm. 722 00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:32,396 What's all that crap? 723 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,357 Just a few essentials. Some night vision. 724 00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:36,359 Helmet cam, light meter. 725 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:38,945 Pheromone spectrometer which is my own design. 726 00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:42,198 It reads the pheromones of beasts or monsters. 727 00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,116 You're so great, why do you need me? 728 00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:47,703 -Jack, pick up that tent, would you? -Tent? 729 00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:50,748 Are we spending the night? 730 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,000 What did you think, we were going for a couple hours, 731 00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:55,795 be back in time for you to watch Dancing with the Stars? 732 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,381 This is a hunt, not a day at the spa. 733 00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:01,133 How long are we planning on staying? 734 00:46:01,217 --> 00:46:02,593 Until we catch him! 735 00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:07,848 Okay, Mr. Singing Dancing Television Man, times-a-wasting. Get in the car. 736 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,643 What? You'll be fine. 737 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,562 -You'll be fine. -Oh, my God. 738 00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:16,107 I'll try and bring him back in one piece. 739 00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:21,279 Give me a break. 740 00:46:21,696 --> 00:46:24,240 I bet a dollar to a dime that 741 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:27,994 it's just some prankster out there having a big laugh at our expense. 742 00:46:28,536 --> 00:46:30,830 But if it's a hoax, I don't think he's trying to be mean. 743 00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:32,915 Look at how happy he's made everybody. 744 00:46:33,666 --> 00:46:35,751 At first, but the whole town has changed. 745 00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,713 Now everyone is dying to get on that stupid TV show. 746 00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:42,508 I think they're just looking for something that gives them a little hope. 747 00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:51,851 So, if it's not really a Bigfoot, if it's just some guy pretending, 748 00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:54,061 what do you think they'll do to him if they catch him? 749 00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:58,482 Hell, knowing Bart, probably shoot him and hang his head on the wall. 750 00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,032 I'll get him. 751 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,787 [Brock] I'm just outside of Pottersville, 752 00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:14,957 where it is nine o'clock in the post meridian. 753 00:47:15,374 --> 00:47:19,503 And, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Monster Finder history, 754 00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:25,718 this find has proven to be so treacherous that I am out here completely alone. 755 00:47:26,135 --> 00:47:30,723 Aided only by the sheriff, for legal reasons, 756 00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:32,767 and a local guide... 757 00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:35,353 who is quite curmudgeonly. 758 00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:36,854 What the hell is he doing? 759 00:47:39,065 --> 00:47:40,649 I think he's filming his TV show. 760 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:42,860 Is that thing gonna be on the whole time? 761 00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:46,781 Guys, please. I'm filming my show. That means I've gotta capture everything. 762 00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:48,574 Sorry. 763 00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:50,951 Can we watch? 764 00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:54,330 Yes. In fact, I think you should watch, so you can get ready. 765 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:55,706 For what? 766 00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:59,418 For the Bigfoot, mate. For the Bigfoot. 767 00:48:00,336 --> 00:48:06,550 Now, I shall try to communicate with the beast. 768 00:48:08,344 --> 00:48:12,056 [yodels] 769 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,475 You having bowel problems? 770 00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:16,936 I'm communicating with the Squatch. 771 00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,562 By yodeling? 772 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:22,483 -It's a mating call. -Oh. So you wanna hump Bigfoot? 773 00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:25,945 It's a coyote. 774 00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:28,072 That's his way of communicating with us. 775 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,448 It's a coyote. 776 00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:30,699 Very specifically... 777 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:36,038 there's a Squatch pretending to be a coyote. 778 00:48:36,664 --> 00:48:37,540 It just gets wilder. 779 00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:39,333 That's what the Squatch does. 780 00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:40,626 [coyote howls] 781 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:41,961 See. 782 00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:44,046 Definitely a coyote. 783 00:48:44,213 --> 00:48:45,214 Okay, fine. 784 00:48:46,173 --> 00:48:48,509 -That's for sure. It's a coyote. -Definitely a coyote. 785 00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:50,845 Fine... 786 00:48:51,971 --> 00:48:53,264 Get out a secret weapon. 787 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,182 Secret weapon. 788 00:48:56,392 --> 00:48:59,061 You gonna write another one of them Yeti love songs? 789 00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:04,859 A secret weapon against the Squatch... is our humanity. 790 00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:09,989 So we shall try to lure him in with the gift of melody. 791 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:13,826 Maybe we're gonna have one of them... Bigfoot hoe-downs. 792 00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:15,453 I hope you got some more moonshine. 793 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:19,707 [howls a melody] 794 00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:32,344 -What? -You're gonna wake the whole county. 795 00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:35,264 -You think it's stupid, don't you? -No, I don't think you're stupid. 796 00:49:35,347 --> 00:49:38,893 I just think maybe sometimes when it comes to thinking, you have bad luck. 797 00:49:39,185 --> 00:49:41,604 I don't understand why it's not working. It worked perfectly last time. 798 00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:56,076 I hear you, brother, but I've laid bait and tripwire around the perimeter, 799 00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:57,745 so we'll know when he's coming. 800 00:50:01,499 --> 00:50:03,042 Bait and tripwire. Is that safe? 801 00:50:03,125 --> 00:50:05,794 [howling] 802 00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:13,052 You okay? 803 00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:15,387 Do you want me to do that? 804 00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,056 No, I'm fine. 805 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:19,600 You can take off if you want. 806 00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,352 I'll wait till you're done. 807 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,438 I'll get the bank bag, I can drop it off on my way home. 808 00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,107 Great. Thanks. 809 00:51:07,398 --> 00:51:08,357 Thanks. 810 00:51:13,529 --> 00:51:14,446 What? 811 00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:16,907 Do you need anything else? 812 00:51:18,367 --> 00:51:20,244 Nope, all good. 813 00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:22,204 Thanks for doing it. 814 00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:25,708 Good night, Maynard. 815 00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:53,652 What the hell was that? 816 00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:58,949 -What am I supposed to do with this? -If you see Bigfoot, shoot him. 817 00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:07,416 I've set up bait and tripwire around the perimeter of the camp, 818 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:10,586 and the tripwire has just been tripped. 819 00:52:10,753 --> 00:52:14,423 So, let's see if we've got ourselves a Squatch. 820 00:52:15,424 --> 00:52:17,009 -[branch breaks] -[voice cries out] 821 00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:18,093 What the...? 822 00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,597 I think I got him. I think I got Bigfoot! 823 00:52:25,559 --> 00:52:26,518 What happened? 824 00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:28,354 You shot Jack. 825 00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:34,985 -Where's Bigfoot? -There's no Bigfoot. 826 00:52:35,069 --> 00:52:39,406 It was just one of your coyotes looking for a romantic evening of dinner and song. 827 00:52:40,032 --> 00:52:43,494 -Is he gonna be all right? -He'll be all right, just taking a nap. 828 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:45,454 Nobody died on this trip. 829 00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:47,956 Yet. 830 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:57,966 [Bart, voice-over] 'Cause I'll find him, I'll catch him. 831 00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:01,049 [Maynard, voice-over] Is there anything you can't catch? 832 00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:04,139 [Norm] You know Bart. If anybody can catch Bigfoot, it's him. 833 00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:06,850 [Parker] Probably shoot him and hang his head on the wall. 834 00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:23,117 Hey, it's me. You gotta get me out of here. 835 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,077 Why? What's the matter? 836 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,454 We didn't hear a peep from Bigfoot all night. 837 00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,873 And I haven't slept and I haven't eaten, 838 00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:32,751 and on top of everything else, I'm taking a crap in the woods right now. 839 00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:34,962 -Are you serious? -[Brock] Yes, I'm pooping right now... 840 00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:38,215 -while I'm talking to you. -Ew. That is so gross. 841 00:53:38,590 --> 00:53:40,843 What am I supposed to do? It's not like there are bathrooms here. 842 00:53:40,926 --> 00:53:44,096 First of all, you could not call me while you're doing it. 843 00:53:44,596 --> 00:53:48,517 Besides, what are you doing about toilet paper? 844 00:53:51,103 --> 00:53:52,271 I hadn't thought that far ahead. 845 00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,482 Oh, God. You gotta get me out of this hell. 846 00:53:55,941 --> 00:53:58,026 I have some Purell, but I don't think that's gonna... 847 00:53:59,528 --> 00:54:00,404 Hello? 848 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:01,447 Hello? 849 00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:04,742 -No phones on my hunt. -Great! That's just great! 850 00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:07,077 What do we do now if there's an actual emergency? 851 00:54:07,286 --> 00:54:08,871 Relax. You're the expert. 852 00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:11,540 I will have you know, I have low blood sugar 853 00:54:11,915 --> 00:54:13,625 and we haven't eaten since we've been out here. 854 00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:14,918 I could get light-headed. 855 00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:16,879 You're hungry? Why didn't you say so? 856 00:54:18,422 --> 00:54:19,590 Here. 857 00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:29,475 There. 858 00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:39,943 It's protein. It's okay. 859 00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:48,786 Are you mad? 860 00:54:49,161 --> 00:54:51,663 You better pick that up. Your breakfast is getting away. 861 00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:54,291 I've lost my appetite. 862 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:58,462 Have it your way. I just wouldn't want you to die of light-headedness. 863 00:54:58,545 --> 00:54:59,755 You owe me an iPhone. 864 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,179 -[Maynard] That'll be one dollar. -A dollar? 865 00:55:07,971 --> 00:55:11,058 Unbelievable. Five bucks in the city. I'll buy a bunch of these before we leave. 866 00:55:11,141 --> 00:55:12,267 When is that gonna be, actually? 867 00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:14,478 Well, if they don't find something tonight, he's outta there. 868 00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:16,605 He's not gonna make it another night. No way. 869 00:55:17,105 --> 00:55:18,816 And then this whole trip will have been a bust. 870 00:55:18,899 --> 00:55:20,192 We got some footage. 871 00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:23,904 We can't air a show without any Bigfoot evidence 872 00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:26,532 and him running around looking scared out of his mind. 873 00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:28,826 Thank you. 874 00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:29,952 Let's go. 875 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,502 [Bart] Good evening, Jack. 876 00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:42,172 You've been sleeping all day, and he's been sulking all day. 877 00:55:45,884 --> 00:55:49,388 Here you go, Jack. Come on over here. All is forgiven. 878 00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:51,765 He knows you didn't mean to shoot him. 879 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,601 Why don't you tell us all about Bigfoot? 880 00:55:54,726 --> 00:55:57,563 Who knows? It may help us to catch him. Come on. 881 00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:02,484 -You have any of that moonshine left? -If a snake had ears would you screw it? 882 00:56:14,413 --> 00:56:15,455 What are you doing tonight? 883 00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:18,876 Nothing. 884 00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:25,048 You wanna hang out, have a couple of beers? 885 00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:27,342 I don't think I'm in the mood. 886 00:56:29,595 --> 00:56:33,223 Why don't you come over? We'll watch a movie and make popcorn. 887 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,687 I'm not up for a movie tonight. Thanks, though. 888 00:56:39,313 --> 00:56:40,814 You sure? I make a mean Jiffy Pop. 889 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:42,441 I know you do, I just.... 890 00:56:42,608 --> 00:56:44,610 It's been a long couple of weeks, you know? 891 00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,070 Rain check? 892 00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:50,282 Any time. 893 00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:56,413 Night, May. 894 00:56:56,496 --> 00:56:57,414 Night, Park. 895 00:56:57,998 --> 00:56:58,916 Oh, hey... 896 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,046 You mind? 897 00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:05,672 Of course not. 898 00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:35,285 [slurring] Are you trying to tell me that Bigfoot is really an alien? 899 00:57:35,452 --> 00:57:38,580 No. Not... 900 00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:45,253 [slurring] Not just an alien... 901 00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:48,632 an alien criminal... 902 00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:54,471 who has been dropped and left on this planet 903 00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,557 as punishment for his crimes. 904 00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:03,021 Are you trying to say that Earth is like a prison for Bigfoot? 905 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,064 Exactly. 906 00:58:04,189 --> 00:58:06,608 -It's a prison for Bigfoot. -Exactly. 907 00:58:06,692 --> 00:58:08,443 It's a prison. The whole thing is a prison. 908 00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:13,240 So when we catch him, Jack, you're gonna have to read him his rights. 909 00:58:57,284 --> 00:59:00,328 Mr. Television Man, may I ask a couple of questions? 910 00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:01,496 Of course, mate. 911 00:59:01,705 --> 00:59:03,165 Bigfoot's paws... 912 00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:08,628 What differentiates Bigfoot's paws from other animals? 913 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:10,714 Yeah, the... 914 00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:13,467 He's asking about the... 915 00:59:13,967 --> 00:59:15,844 -Bigfoot's paws. -Yeah. 916 00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:20,932 Bigfoot scat. You ever find any of that? 917 00:59:21,016 --> 00:59:22,684 That must be really interesting. 918 00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:26,480 -Scat? -Scat. 919 00:59:27,189 --> 00:59:28,440 -Scat? -Scat. 920 00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:33,445 I'm so glad you asked me about the scat, because... 921 00:59:36,323 --> 00:59:39,743 Nickel for all the times school children asked me about the scat. 922 00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:46,541 I guess I would say about the scat... 923 00:59:50,128 --> 00:59:51,880 The scat is my favorite part of the job. 924 00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:53,924 You know, put my hands in it. 925 00:59:55,300 --> 00:59:56,384 I get right in there. 926 00:59:57,928 --> 00:59:58,804 Yeah. 927 01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:03,767 [eerie noises] 928 01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,603 I'm a bit drunk, but that is definitely not a coyote. 929 01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,188 I have no idea what that was. 930 01:00:09,064 --> 01:00:10,607 -Maybe that's our Squatch. -Wait a minute. 931 01:00:10,899 --> 01:00:12,150 Only one way to find out. 932 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,777 What day is this? 933 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:18,657 Hey, Bart. Hey, Brock. Hey, guys? 934 01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:21,785 May? May, I know your secret. 935 01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:24,037 May? 936 01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:29,042 May? 937 01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:12,043 Get that out of my face. 938 01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:14,087 Come on. 939 01:01:19,718 --> 01:01:21,428 Guys... 940 01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:24,347 What the devil is happening out here? 941 01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:28,101 Probably a UFO dropping off Bigfoot prisoners. 942 01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:31,730 Sweet Yowie, how many monsters you got in these woods? 943 01:01:31,897 --> 01:01:35,066 Hey guys, there's nothing there. Let's go back. 944 01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:36,568 It's obviously something. 945 01:01:37,152 --> 01:01:39,237 It got our attention, you can bet your butt it got Bigfoot's. 946 01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:41,281 That's why I wanna go back, because if Bigfoot's... 947 01:01:41,364 --> 01:01:43,450 Jack, you're not making sense. 948 01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:45,076 I've gotta film this for my show. 949 01:01:46,328 --> 01:01:47,370 Bart, come on... 950 01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:52,959 Oh, hell. 951 01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:55,587 [sounds getting louder] 952 01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:57,380 What the...? 953 01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:09,351 Welcome to our first annual Squatch Watch Spirit Gathering. 954 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:12,312 Your what? Oh, no. Quit that, lady. 955 01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:13,688 -[Bart] Quit that! -We're here to see Bigfoot. 956 01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:16,691 -[furries] We love Bigfoot. -[Bart] You people, you have to go. 957 01:02:16,775 --> 01:02:19,027 -[furries] We love Bigfoot. -You have to get out of here. 958 01:02:19,236 --> 01:02:20,695 Do your loving somewhere else. 959 01:02:21,071 --> 01:02:23,281 Jack, come over her. Help me out. 960 01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:26,618 All right, folks. My friend here is right. 961 01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:31,414 This is not really the time, definitely not the place for the... 962 01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,711 Feels kind of amazing. 963 01:02:40,632 --> 01:02:44,636 Jack, moonshine and tranquilizer is not a good combination. 964 01:02:45,053 --> 01:02:46,388 Get the hell away from me. 965 01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,642 -[woman] He's one of us. -One of us. 966 01:02:50,976 --> 01:02:52,018 [furries] One of us. 967 01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:54,020 I wanna be your fuzzy little joey. 968 01:02:54,104 --> 01:02:56,648 [chanting] One of us. 969 01:02:57,274 --> 01:02:58,650 What the hell is "one of us"? 970 01:02:58,733 --> 01:03:01,027 -We're furries. -What the hell's a furry? 971 01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:03,530 A furry is a person. They're people... 972 01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:07,200 who just happen to like to dress up in furry clothes 973 01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:08,910 and rub up against each another. 974 01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:10,370 And I'll tell you something else, Bart... 975 01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:14,457 I'm a furry, okay, and I'm damn proud of it! 976 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:20,630 [gunshot] 977 01:03:22,507 --> 01:03:25,260 Okay. That's it! Out of here! 978 01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:26,845 [Connie] But, we love Bigfoot. 979 01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:30,181 Lady, once I have Bigfoot stuffed and mounted, 980 01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:32,976 you're welcome to rub up against him all you want. 981 01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:36,313 But until then, get your skinny little chicken ass out of here. 982 01:03:36,521 --> 01:03:38,732 She's a bunny, Bart. She's a bunny! 983 01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:40,483 -What? -She's a bunny. 984 01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:42,527 It doesn't work as a chicken. She's a bunny! 985 01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:44,904 Okay, then hop it on out of here. 986 01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,532 Go on! I'm gonna count to ten. 987 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:48,575 One... 988 01:03:48,950 --> 01:03:51,077 If you wanna come to the next meeting, just let me know. 989 01:03:51,995 --> 01:03:52,912 I will. 990 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,498 I will and I do and I will. 991 01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:59,794 Come on! Out! 992 01:04:01,171 --> 01:04:02,172 Come on! 993 01:04:06,885 --> 01:04:08,261 Now, as for you two. 994 01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:24,819 Was that a real gun you shot back there? 995 01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:26,905 Yep, and I'll use it again 996 01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:29,282 if either one of you tries to get into this tent tonight. 997 01:04:34,913 --> 01:04:36,373 Do your thing, Mr. Television Man. 998 01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:37,874 What thing? 999 01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:40,794 You know, that howling, yodeling thing you do. 1000 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:42,587 I thought you said it was stupid. 1001 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,006 No, it's perfect. 1002 01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:46,883 You hear something? 1003 01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:48,301 Just shut up and do it. 1004 01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:49,761 Jack, you stay here. 1005 01:04:53,056 --> 01:04:54,766 I need you to film me. 1006 01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:56,351 Okay. 1007 01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,020 -Okay. -Keep that right on me. 1008 01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:01,398 -Right. -This is my good side. 1009 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:15,870 Stay on the face. Stay on my face. 1010 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,503 He's out there. He's definitely out there. 1011 01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:50,613 He's getting closer. 1012 01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:56,327 [yodels] 1013 01:06:14,929 --> 01:06:17,515 [Bigfoot screams] 1014 01:06:28,860 --> 01:06:29,736 Sorry. 1015 01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:34,657 Did I get him? 1016 01:06:36,618 --> 01:06:37,577 Did I get him? 1017 01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:42,081 Did I get him? 1018 01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:48,296 Yeah, you got him. 1019 01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:52,258 You got him, all right. 1020 01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:58,181 Hey, Pottersville, I found Bigfoot! Follow me! 1021 01:06:59,891 --> 01:07:01,601 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 1022 01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,354 Bigfoot can be seen by the stars. 1023 01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,105 Monster found! 1024 01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:09,484 Pick up, pick up. 1025 01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:12,111 Come on, May, pick up the phone. 1026 01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:14,739 Ladies and gentlemen, 1027 01:07:15,406 --> 01:07:18,910 what you are about to witness is not just television history.... 1028 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,996 it's also scientific history. 1029 01:07:22,497 --> 01:07:25,291 It's also world history. 1030 01:07:26,584 --> 01:07:32,006 It may, in fact, be the most significant event in the history of mankind. 1031 01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:38,471 Because I have managed to do what no one else ever could. 1032 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:42,433 Which is capture the world's most elusive beast. 1033 01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:48,147 Without further ado, I present... 1034 01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:52,735 Bigfoot. 1035 01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:56,406 Maynard! 1036 01:07:56,990 --> 01:07:57,949 Maynard! 1037 01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:00,660 Maynard. 1038 01:08:02,787 --> 01:08:05,039 Maynard. What did you do to him? 1039 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,208 I caught him. That's my job, isn't it? 1040 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,085 -This isn't Bigfoot! -Of course it is. 1041 01:08:09,294 --> 01:08:12,380 Is this really what you do for a living? This is Maynard Greiger. 1042 01:08:12,463 --> 01:08:14,507 He runs the general store. 1043 01:08:14,924 --> 01:08:16,009 Maynard. 1044 01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:19,971 -Maynard. -Shit. 1045 01:08:20,513 --> 01:08:22,807 It's okay, Park. He's gonna be all right. 1046 01:08:22,890 --> 01:08:25,018 I just popped him with a tranquilizer dart. 1047 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:28,521 Was that you in the forest this entire time? 1048 01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:31,482 Maynard, are you okay? 1049 01:08:32,942 --> 01:08:34,235 So, this is all a big hoax? 1050 01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:37,572 Cameras off! 1051 01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:40,074 -Hey... -This is a big hoax, isn't it? 1052 01:08:41,784 --> 01:08:43,202 Do you know who I am? 1053 01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:45,872 This was gonna be my biggest show ever! 1054 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:47,915 It was gonna make me a star! 1055 01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:50,877 Well, guess what? 1056 01:08:51,419 --> 01:08:53,296 I am gonna sue Pottersville. 1057 01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:55,632 How do you like that? 1058 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:58,718 That's right. You'll be ruined! 1059 01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:04,182 I don't care if a colony of Bigfoot moves in and builds houses, 1060 01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,392 and starts raising their kids and marching their kids back and forth 1061 01:09:06,517 --> 01:09:09,520 to school across the square every day, and singing karaoke at the karaoke bar! 1062 01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:11,022 No one's ever gonna see it! 1063 01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:12,440 Because from now on, 1064 01:09:12,523 --> 01:09:17,695 Pottersville will be known as a town of fakes and phonies... 1065 01:09:20,114 --> 01:09:21,240 and freaks. 1066 01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:25,370 G'day, morons. 1067 01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:31,084 Did somebody say they needed a Bigfoot? 1068 01:09:31,751 --> 01:09:34,837 Well, nice work, Maynard, now the whole town is gonna get sued. 1069 01:09:35,922 --> 01:09:37,173 There goes Christmas. 1070 01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,634 And we can all kiss a Happy New Year goodbye. 1071 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:44,347 I ought to stick a "big foot" up your ass. 1072 01:09:49,310 --> 01:09:50,812 Hey, little bunny. 1073 01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:55,149 I was thinking maybe I can come over later and... 1074 01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:59,821 I'd love for you to come by tomorrow, Maynard, and pack your stuff and leave. 1075 01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:02,407 We all just wanted to meet Bigfoot, 1076 01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:05,034 and you made us look like a bunch of idiots. 1077 01:10:08,496 --> 01:10:09,706 I'm sorry. 1078 01:10:18,631 --> 01:10:19,924 [Bart] You okay, pal? 1079 01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:33,646 [Gutierrez] So you will be seeking legal action? 1080 01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:34,897 [Brock] That's right, yeah. 1081 01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:38,067 It's the opposite of a class-action suit, because it's me against 80 people. 1082 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,778 It's like un-classy suit. 1083 01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:44,991 It's not what you call it, but I'm suing for damages, yeah. 1084 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:47,118 [Gutierrez] I have heard a number, an estimate, 1085 01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:50,621 somewhere in the ballpark of 150 million dollars in damages. 1086 01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:52,498 Is that what you will be seeking? 1087 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:55,626 [Brock] I couldn't say, and I won't say. 1088 01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:58,588 I'm not allowed to say, but that's accurate, yes. 1089 01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:04,635 I can't promise you anybody's gonna show up, I mean, people are pretty upset. 1090 01:11:04,844 --> 01:11:06,637 But you know his heart was in the right place. 1091 01:11:07,013 --> 01:11:10,016 Yeah. Well, I'll do my best. 1092 01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:57,104 Hi. Is there a Maynard Greiger here? 1093 01:11:57,855 --> 01:11:59,190 [Parker] I don't get it. 1094 01:11:59,649 --> 01:12:04,111 Don't you know how much he loves you, how much he loves this town? 1095 01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:11,869 Maynard's family has owned and operated the general store for generations. 1096 01:12:12,078 --> 01:12:15,331 He's over there right now, packing up his shop because... 1097 01:12:16,374 --> 01:12:18,334 he doesn't know what else to do. 1098 01:12:19,043 --> 01:12:20,711 He feels like he doesn't belong here. 1099 01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:23,756 Well, he did ruin our shot. 1100 01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:25,716 Your shot at what? 1101 01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:30,096 Fame, fortune. Being on TV. 1102 01:12:30,263 --> 01:12:32,139 And how did he ruin it, exactly? 1103 01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,350 By pretending to be Bigfoot. 1104 01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:37,645 How much Bigfoot merchandise did you sell out of his store? 1105 01:12:40,648 --> 01:12:42,400 Did you ever offer him anything? 1106 01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:45,778 Did he ever ask for anything in return? 1107 01:12:46,904 --> 01:12:49,031 He's given everything to Pottersville. 1108 01:12:49,448 --> 01:12:51,158 I mean everything. 1109 01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:56,622 He's tried so hard to keep us and this town afloat that, honestly, 1110 01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,958 I don't know if he could afford to keep his store open 1111 01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,793 even if he felt like you wanted him to. 1112 01:13:08,301 --> 01:13:10,553 You've all seen this. You know what it's for. 1113 01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:14,265 And at one time or another, when you were down on your luck, 1114 01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:18,227 each and every one of you asked Maynard to put your name in this book. 1115 01:13:19,270 --> 01:13:20,938 Has he ever refused any of you? 1116 01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:26,485 Now when he needs our help, your answer is to turn your back on him? 1117 01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:29,947 Well, before you decide that he ruined your shot, 1118 01:13:30,489 --> 01:13:34,452 or your Christmas, or your Happy New Year, I just want you to take a look at this. 1119 01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:39,040 Then you can tell me if you're still upset with him for pretending. 1120 01:13:48,633 --> 01:13:49,759 It's empty. 1121 01:13:52,678 --> 01:13:53,721 Yeah. 1122 01:14:09,528 --> 01:14:11,864 Now we go live to Stacy Gutierrez 1123 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:16,160 for a story you'll only find here on Channel 13 News. Stacy. 1124 01:14:16,577 --> 01:14:17,745 Thank you, John. 1125 01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:22,959 Hi, this is Stacy Gutierrez reporting live on Christmas Eve 1126 01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:26,545 here in Pottersville, but all is not merry and bright 1127 01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:30,049 as the town is still reeling from the Bigfoot hoax. 1128 01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:34,971 Well, I am here with the hoaxster himself, Maynard Greiger, 1129 01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:36,639 to get his side of the story. 1130 01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:39,016 So, Mr. Greiger, why did you do it? 1131 01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:44,105 Well, I never meant for it to happen, really. 1132 01:14:46,023 --> 01:14:49,402 But when people started really thinking I was Bigfoot 1133 01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:53,239 and I saw how happy it made them, I figured, why not? 1134 01:14:53,698 --> 01:14:56,367 Why do you think this town was so captivated by him? 1135 01:14:56,909 --> 01:15:00,663 I don't think it's just our town, really. I mean, it could be any town. 1136 01:15:01,956 --> 01:15:04,583 People everywhere are looking for something to believe in. 1137 01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:09,755 We had fallen on hard times, like a lot of other places... 1138 01:15:11,173 --> 01:15:14,468 this magical sense of... well, Bigfoot, 1139 01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:17,263 you know, that sense that something else was out there. 1140 01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,016 It really brought the town together. 1141 01:15:20,266 --> 01:15:23,686 I haven't seen this town so alive in a long time, and... 1142 01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:30,609 It seemed to give everybody the faith and hope that things were gonna be okay. 1143 01:15:31,777 --> 01:15:33,404 I guess that's why I did it. 1144 01:15:35,072 --> 01:15:38,784 If you had to do it all over again, would you? 1145 01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:48,210 You know, let's just say that hope isn't always the most realistic thing, 1146 01:15:48,294 --> 01:15:51,839 but it tends to make the world a better place. 1147 01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:55,634 Thank you, Mr. Greiger. 1148 01:15:56,302 --> 01:15:58,637 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas to you. 1149 01:15:59,263 --> 01:16:03,059 This is Stacy Gutierrez live from Pottersville. 1150 01:16:05,519 --> 01:16:07,354 Thank you, Mr. Greiger, that was great. 1151 01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:09,148 My pleasure. You're welcome. 1152 01:16:12,735 --> 01:16:14,236 -Hey. -Hi. 1153 01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,238 I have some friends who want to talk to you. 1154 01:16:17,865 --> 01:16:19,450 Hey, fellas. What's going on? 1155 01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:22,578 Thanks for letting us sell our stuff out of your store. 1156 01:16:23,162 --> 01:16:26,415 And thank you also for just... well... 1157 01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:29,794 Oh, what the hell. 1158 01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:38,219 You're welcome. 1159 01:16:40,679 --> 01:16:41,555 Hey, Tammy. 1160 01:16:41,639 --> 01:16:44,433 I'm sorry I was so hard on you, Maynard. 1161 01:16:51,607 --> 01:16:53,734 Hey. Yeah, we've gotta get back on the air. 1162 01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:56,112 There's another breaking story happening here now. 1163 01:16:56,821 --> 01:16:58,072 You could never ruin our Christmas. 1164 01:16:58,155 --> 01:16:59,156 Thanks, Doris. 1165 01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,576 Maynard, forget the things I said. Merry Christmas. 1166 01:17:02,660 --> 01:17:03,744 Thank you. 1167 01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:05,204 Thanks. 1168 01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:12,128 Maynard, I'm so sorry I said I'd put my foot up your ass. 1169 01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:14,338 It's okay, Millie. 1170 01:17:14,421 --> 01:17:16,841 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas, Millie. 1171 01:17:20,594 --> 01:17:21,804 -Hey, Maynard. -Jasper. 1172 01:17:21,929 --> 01:17:23,347 Thanks for everything, man. 1173 01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:27,268 Yeah. Sure. 1174 01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:29,270 -Hey. -Yeah? 1175 01:17:29,812 --> 01:17:32,439 You thought you had to become Bigfoot to save this town, 1176 01:17:32,565 --> 01:17:35,985 but you saved it a long time ago by just being you. 1177 01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:41,699 Hi, this is Stacy Gutierrez reporting live on Christmas Eve 1178 01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:44,618 from Greiger's General Store here in Pottersville, 1179 01:17:44,910 --> 01:17:49,248 where the entire community has turned out in a show of support 1180 01:17:49,415 --> 01:17:53,169 for the one-time Bigfoot hoaxster Maynard Greiger, 1181 01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:56,839 to receive him now as their hometown hero. 1182 01:17:58,048 --> 01:17:58,966 Hey, buddy. 1183 01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:03,304 It's truly a Christmas miracle. 1184 01:18:05,389 --> 01:18:06,891 Hi. Thanks, Maynard. 1185 01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:09,393 -Merry Christmas, Maynard. -Merry Christmas. 1186 01:18:14,899 --> 01:18:16,525 -Hey. -Hey. 1187 01:18:17,985 --> 01:18:19,486 What are you doing later? 1188 01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:26,827 I think you should close up and come home. 1189 01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:31,874 You can bring the Bigfoot costume. 1190 01:18:35,711 --> 01:18:37,546 I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time. 1191 01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:40,090 I know you have. 1192 01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:42,426 You were right. 1193 01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:45,346 I know, baby. 1194 01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:47,598 Your little bunny's always right. 1195 01:18:47,681 --> 01:18:48,974 No, you were right... 1196 01:18:54,146 --> 01:18:55,356 We should split up. 1197 01:18:57,066 --> 01:18:58,067 Excuse me? 1198 01:18:58,150 --> 01:18:59,443 You should be happy. 1199 01:18:59,902 --> 01:19:03,572 You should go and find whatever excitement you can in life, 1200 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:04,865 if that's what you want. 1201 01:19:05,616 --> 01:19:06,533 I get it. 1202 01:19:07,284 --> 01:19:08,494 Life is short. 1203 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:10,579 Why not be happy? 1204 01:19:12,373 --> 01:19:14,333 That's all I wanted to tell you. 1205 01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:16,502 I don't... 1206 01:19:19,838 --> 01:19:21,006 Wait. Are you...? 1207 01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:26,804 This is it? 1208 01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:35,729 [Connie scoffs] 1209 01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:49,618 Hey, Parker, is that rain check still available for the Jiffy Pop? 1210 01:19:53,747 --> 01:19:54,873 Always. 1211 01:20:01,755 --> 01:20:02,798 To Maynard Greiger... 1212 01:20:04,008 --> 01:20:05,467 the richest man in Pottersville. 1213 01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:07,428 [all] Hear, hear. 1214 01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:11,849 Hey. Norm? Tony? 1215 01:20:11,932 --> 01:20:14,935 You say people all over the world love this Bigfoot, right? 1216 01:20:15,102 --> 01:20:16,854 Um, yeah. 1217 01:20:16,937 --> 01:20:20,524 On every continent and in every language. 1218 01:20:20,691 --> 01:20:21,942 -All of them. -Yeah. 1219 01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:24,069 All right. 1220 01:20:30,909 --> 01:20:33,078 [TV announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, I've just received word 1221 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:36,040 it appears that Brock Masterson, host of Monster Finder, 1222 01:20:36,123 --> 01:20:38,042 is also not who he claims to be. 1223 01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:41,045 In an exclusive story you'll only see here on Channel 13 News, 1224 01:20:41,128 --> 01:20:45,424 we've discovered that Brock Masterson is actually one Leonard Abromowitz, 1225 01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:47,843 an actor from Coney Island. 1226 01:20:48,218 --> 01:20:50,804 Last time I checked, that's nowhere near Australia. 1227 01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:52,139 Well, what do you know? 1228 01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,382 [Parker] Hey, you two. What are you doing? 1229 01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:28,425 We're just here to meet Bill on his lunch break. 1230 01:21:28,509 --> 01:21:30,469 This place is amazing, you two. 1231 01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:31,637 Thanks, Maynard! 1232 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,138 -You bet ya. -Have fun. 1233 01:21:33,430 --> 01:21:34,431 Thanks. 1234 01:21:50,072 --> 01:21:51,657 You're a good man, May. 1235 01:21:56,370 --> 01:21:57,746 Well, what are you gonna do? 1236 01:22:06,213 --> 01:22:08,340 [cheering]