0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000


1
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,069
Oh. Hi, Mary.

2
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,000
You okay?

3
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,507
Rough day, huh?

4
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:19,908
Look, if it... if it helps,
uh, you look really hot.

5
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:44,037
♪

6
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:55,449
♪ Who can turn the world on
with her smile ♪

7
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,186
♪ Who can take
a nothing day ♪

8
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:04,417
♪ And suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile ♪

9
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,485
♪ Well it's you girl

10
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,828
♪ And you should know it

11
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:12,799
♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪

12
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,869
♪ Love is all around
no need to fake it ♪

13
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:21,540
♪ You can have the town
why don't you take it ♪

14
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:27,182
♪ You're gonna make it
after all ♪

15
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:35,152
♪ How will you
make it on your own ♪

16
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,660
♪ This world is awfully big

17
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,091
♪ Girl this time

18
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,596
♪ You are all alone

19
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:48,598
♪ But it's time
you started living ♪

20
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:52,638
♪ It's time you let someone
else do some giving ♪

21
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,909
♪ Love is all around
no need to fake it ♪

22
00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:01,580
♪ You can have the town
why don't you take it ♪

23
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:07,192
♪ You're gonna make it
after all ♪

24
00:03:09,388 --> 00:03:13,728
♪ You're gonna
make it af... ♪

25
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,831
How'd the job search go today?

26
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:22,072
I only ask you because
I have some wonderful news.

27
00:03:22,073 --> 00:03:26,139
I'm gonna be joining you
in that search myself tomorrow.

28
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,840
Hey, how old is
this vermicelli, Primo?

29
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,083
You know, you really
should've come with me

30
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,052
to that hot Vinyasa Yoga class
this morning,

31
00:03:37,053 --> 00:03:39,519
because that scary
teacher was back.

32
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,689
I am convinced
that she sat in her car

33
00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:43,318
for 15 minutes
prior to the class,

34
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:46,323
holding a gun in her mouth,
trying to get up the nerve

35
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,626
to pull the trigger.
And then I think she thought:

36
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,698
Fuck it,
I'll wait till after lunch.

37
00:03:50,699 --> 00:03:52,597
And then she chain-smoked
three cigarettes

38
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,429
and came in to teach us yoga
in the most monotone,

39
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,965
unenthused voice
you can imagine.

40
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,270
I could tell she couldn't wait
for the class to be over,

41
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:03,643
"When this is over,

42
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,544
I'm getting
a double whiskey sour,

43
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,176
and then I'm gonna taste
that gun again."

44
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:14,120
Sweated over a hot microwave
for two and a half minutes.

45
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,821
Ah...

46
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,931
Ugh.

47
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,128
Hmm.

48
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,273
That's disgusting.

49
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:35,613
Primo?

50
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,418
So this was your husband?

51
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,659
No, my... I mean,
he was just a boyfriend.

52
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,596
Uh, can I, um-

53
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,697
Careful,
those things are killers.

54
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,129
They're probably
what killed him.

55
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,369
So you lived together?

56
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,838
No. I mean, yes.

57
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,769
He lived here with me and his
dog, but just for six months.

58
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,635
I kinda wanted him
to stick around till New Year's,

59
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,414
'cause that's a hard one
to be alone.

60
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:13,980
Mm-hmm. I hear that.

61
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,550
I mean, he caught me
on the rebound

62
00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:17,279
and it never really
went anywhere.

63
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,718
He couldn't get it together.

64
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,219
I had bigger expectations,
of course,

65
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,150
but it never really rallied
past the first stage.

66
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,956
I liked him, but he was more
of a temp boyfriend.

67
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,190
You probably don't need
to know all this.

68
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,556
No, uh, a temp boyfriend?

69
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,331
Go on.
Well...

70
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,400
it's like I was between gigs.

71
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,868
Yeah, I've been there.

72
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,699
Right?
And you were at work

73
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,171
when the victim died?

74
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,010
Yeah, well,
I don't work there anymore.

75
00:05:41,011 --> 00:05:43,308
I was fired today
for being "late."

76
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,679
Wow. You are having a bad day.

77
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,580
Right?
And, uh, what job was that?

78
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,517
I was a temp.
Mm-hmm.

79
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,548
Officer Parker?
Were there any

80
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,291
yoga-teacher shootings today?

81
00:05:55,292 --> 00:05:57,288
Uh, not that I'm aware.
Shoot!

82
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:01,860
Oh, hey, Paul.
Dead Caucasian watching TV.

83
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,132
Thanks, Parker.
Medical examiner.

84
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,902
Officer Parker.

85
00:06:11,837 --> 00:06:13,737
Sorry, I just want to be sure

86
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:17,140
this is the dead Caucasian
you're talking about.

87
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,182
You know, right here, right
in this general, uh, vicinity?

88
00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:23,149
Take it easy, Paul.
No, you take it easy, Parker!

89
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,819
How many times
do I have to tell you,

90
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:27,088
I do not need you to tell me
where the dead body is

91
00:06:27,089 --> 00:06:29,617
when we're in an apartment
the size of my bathroom!

92
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,423
Hey!

93
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:36,896
Officer Brady?
Yeah?

94
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,857
You want me to get you
a soda, anything?

95
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,526
No, thanks. I'm cool.

96
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,835
Huh. Okay.

97
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:47,937
Then get the fuck away
from the dead body!

98
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:58,383
Miss?

99
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,786
Miss...

100
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,287
McCrawley, Mary.
McCrawley, Mary.

101
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:06,589
Was the deceased sick in anyway?

102
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,561
Nope.
On medication?

103
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,632
Not that I knew of.
Do you dress him?

104
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:13,699
Not today.
His shirt's on inside out.

105
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,670
Mm. He was probably
trying on a new style.

106
00:07:15,671 --> 00:07:17,338
He had a lot of time
on his hands.

107
00:07:17,339 --> 00:07:20,837
When was the last time you had
relations with the deceased?

108
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:24,341
He wasn't deceased
the last time we had relations.

109
00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:28,781
Primo, that's your name?

110
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,482
And that's all you do?
You write poetry?

111
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,845
Mm-hmm.
That's great.

112
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,022
So, what,
do you have last name, Primo?

113
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:37,821
Or is that like a
one-name-poet kinda thing?

114
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,392
Schultz?

115
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,927
German-Jewish.

116
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,528
Mm-mm.
German-German.

117
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,766
Mm-hmm.
Jewish-Jewish.

118
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,497
Sorry. My mother
would drive her car

119
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,043
off the George Washington Bridge

120
00:07:51,044 --> 00:07:53,037
if I brought home a German.

121
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,809
Seriously, I'm not kidding.

122
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:56,808
But it was very nice
to meet you.

123
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,540
Mare! Here.

124
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,645
Oh, my God.
What?

125
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,407
Greg's here.
Who's Greg?

126
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,545
And he brought that little
fuckin' whore, too.

127
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,781
I don't remember a Greg.

128
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,586
Yeah, you do.
Lazy eye, big dick?

129
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,917
Oh, Greg.
That Greg, yeah.

130
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,892
Is he looking over this way?
How can you tell?

131
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,231
Alright, I have to go talk to him.
Zoe.

132
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:17,958
Mm. I just want to talk
to him, okay? Alright?

133
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,733
Oh, and kinda cute German poet
right behind me.

134
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,934
Come on, you need
to meet him. Come on.

135
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:26,296
Hey, Primo, honey.
Primo. Achtung.

136
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,707
And that's how
I met Primo Schultz.

137
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,551
A man who should've disappear
into the forgotten wastelands

138
00:08:34,552 --> 00:08:38,678
of "Thanks for the drinks,
here's my fake phone number."

139
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,485
A man who drank grasshoppers,

140
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,517
which, if I recall
from my short stint

141
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,822
working at the old folks' home,
is pretty much the combination

142
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,726
of Crème de menthe
and half-and-half.

143
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,998
And a man who,
if I had had the time

144
00:08:50,999 --> 00:08:53,197
and ability to meet them
all that night,

145
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,730
- would've come in seventeenth.
- Hey, babe.

146
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,871
And yet, in the course
of that first evening,

147
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,912
the seventeenth man's
tortured-poet routine

148
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,709
and his world-weary
artist shtick

149
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,980
somehow seemed to turn
from just plain unattractive

150
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:12,218
to an oddly interesting,
seen-it-all, done-it-all charm.

151
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,919
There was a distinct success
to Primo's failure.

152
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:18,991
"No doctor can calm the pain.

153
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,961
"Not even soothing balm
has been discovered

154
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,132
"to relieve
the inflamed affections

155
00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:26,630
of a brusquarily
uncoupled lover."

156
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,902
I was positive "brusquarily"
wasn't a real word,

157
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,572
but by the end of the evening,
none of it mattered.

158
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,541
I was crashing and burning.

159
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,282
Primo was a man
I was essentially drawn to

160
00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:41,578
because of the strange disdain
I had for him.

161
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,048
Freud was right.

162
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:47,289
Desire lies on the other side
of repugnance.

163
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,917
And then there was the kiss.

164
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,291
On that night alone

165
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,127
six months ago
in the Double Down Saloon,

166
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:59,358
Primo Schultz gave 110%
and was a great kisser.

167
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:03,166
Six months of sloth, selfishness
and channel surfing would follow

168
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,639
as I waited
for one more perfect kiss.

169
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,040
But that was it.

170
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,511
His finest hour
in the first few minutes.

171
00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:12,210
It would never come again.

172
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,250
The terrific con
of a typical man

173
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:16,977
who left me
with only one great evening.

174
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,851
Mary! I'll take that.

175
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,320
Mary, come here.
Take that.

176
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,451
Why do they keep the wine so
far in the back of these things?

177
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,856
Honey, that's easy. To keep
the freeloaders like us away.

178
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,089
Wait a second.
What happened?

179
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,993
You sounded so crazy serious
on the phone.

180
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:32,025
I had
the worst date last night.

181
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,302
Super cute, but beyond dull.
I had to self-roofie myself

182
00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:37,601
with vodka shots just so I can
fuck him. Okay, tell me.

183
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:38,973
Guess what I have in common

184
00:10:38,974 --> 00:10:41,106
with 65% of New York
and 40% of America.

185
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,407
Oh, this was in Cosmo, right?
You're... you're unemployed.

186
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,310
Forty percent of America?
That would be

187
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,412
a Third World country.
Actually I am unemployed,

188
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,314
so you get half a point.
But guess again.

189
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:53,416
You're severely depressed.
That's six percent of America.

190
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,288
You're illiterate
and suffer voter apathy.

191
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,389
What, you never floss?
I don't know.

192
00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,721
I'm single.

193
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,556
You dumped Primo?
Not exactly.

194
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,161
Primo dumped you?
Sort of.

195
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,163
Hey, what kind of lipstick
were you wearing

196
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,295
the other day at Mars Bar?
Uh, it was

197
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,470
Righteous Raspberry.
Wait a second. What happened?

198
00:11:09,471 --> 00:11:11,737
He died.
What?! Who?

199
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:12,938
Primo. Primo Schultz.

200
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,709
Do you want his dog?
I'm allergic.

201
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:17,609
Excusez-moi.

202
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:21,080
Did I hear you mention
the name Primo Schultz?

203
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,048
Yeah.
Oh!

204
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:27,719
What a beautiful man.
How is he?

205
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,021
Less beautiful.

206
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,592
He was mon amour
nearly 20 years ago.

207
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,318
Twenty years?

208
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,026
Mm. Did you go to prom together?

209
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,488
We studied at Columbia,

210
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:40,226
but we met abroad
in Bologna for a semester.

211
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,902
Primo had a formal education?

212
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:43,501
It must be a different
Primo Schultz.

213
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,903
Well, he did drop out
after a year, but...

214
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,465
Ah, well,
that sounds like our boy.

215
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,674
He couldn't have been in
Columbia in the '70s because...

216
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,206
Yeah, he's like 39 and a half.

217
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,580
Primo?
I thought he was 37.

218
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,381
Non, c'est pas possible.

219
00:11:56,383 --> 00:12:00,223
He has to be less than
a year of 45.

220
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,553
Ooh, Merde, I've got to run.

221
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,616
I've got two minutes

222
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:08,160
to get the Koons
at Mary Boone. Oh! I rhymed.

223
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:12,331
When you see Primo, tell him
his Helène forgives him,

224
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,902
and I just opened up
my own art gallery

225
00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,531
on Twenty-fourth
and Eleventh Avenue,

226
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:20,666
and I would love to show
his work. Hmm? D'accord?

227
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,913
I never heard the word "work"
associated with Primo.

228
00:12:24,914 --> 00:12:27,780
I never heard there was
an Eleventh Avenue.

229
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:36,388
♪ I... I've walked
a thousand miles ♪

230
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:40,159
♪ Yeah I've walked
a thousand steps ♪

231
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:46,031
♪ To be embraced
by your lovin' arms ♪

232
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:50,536
♪ To feel the shake
of your loving bell ♪

233
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:54,537
♪ Every step I take
I take toward you ♪

234
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:59,341
♪ You take one
in the other way ♪

235
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,150
"The Cumming Attractions
by Primo Schultz."

236
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,919
♪ What can I do

237
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,750
♪ What can I say

238
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,416
Oh, my God.

239
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,295
Oh, my God.

240
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,528
Ugh. Hey! Hey,
what are you thinking?

241
00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:27,267
Hello?

242
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,173
What the hell is this?

243
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:32,175
This is Primo's mother.
Hello, Mrs. Schultz.

244
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:35,878
I guess I must have the wrong number.
Hello?

245
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:39,251
We spoke last night.

246
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,020
Oh, my God.
I can't believe this.

247
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,821
♪ Don't you know I love ya

248
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,028
♪ Can't you see
what this is all about ♪

249
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:51,959
Ugh.

250
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:52,965
Mrs. Schultz.

251
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:54,600
Who is this?

252
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,001
We spoke yesterday.
I told you about Primo.

253
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,903
My name is Mary.
I never heard of you.

254
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,536
I live with him.
Whatever.

255
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:06,142
He's going to be cremated,
and I'd like you to come by

256
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:09,406
to pick up the ashes
here in New Rochelle.

257
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,515
Um, already? New Rochelle?

258
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,488
Well, I thought it would be
nice to have them scattered

259
00:14:14,489 --> 00:14:17,887
down there in that filthy city
he loved so much.

260
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,591
Well, wouldn't you like
to do that?

261
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,862
I'm going to have
the ashes on Monday,

262
00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:25,101
but, uh, I have to have
some work done on my face,

263
00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:28,228
so would you please come
at 11 a.m. sharp?

264
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,370
Uh...
On Thursday the 23rd.

265
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:37,009
Eleven a.m.,
Thursday the 23rd.

266
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,510
Poor Primo.

267
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:42,080
So young,
just like his poor father.

268
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,221
How young?

269
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,717
Oh, God. There.

270
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,462
Tomorrow we'll take
a much longer walk

271
00:14:54,463 --> 00:14:57,399
to the doggy death camp.
One quick little shot

272
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,657
and you'll never know
what happened.

273
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:03,196
Hey, pick up the poop!
It's not my poop!

274
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,903
You're holding
the fucking leash.

275
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,804
Okay.

276
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:17,276
This band sucks.
Just...

277
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,856
I got it.

278
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,457
Joey.

279
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,559
You're actually walking a dog?

280
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,096
It turns out
if you don't walk him,

281
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,297
he uses your living room
as a urinal.

282
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,867
He's a she.
What?

283
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,368
Your dog, it's a she.
Oh.

284
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,100
Oh, we have dinner tonight.
Right.

285
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,235
Um, I'm just gonna
run up and change.

286
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,271
Ah. Really?

287
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,506
You got fired
from your temp job?

288
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,451
Excuse me, my boyfriend just died.
That doesn't strike you

289
00:15:47,452 --> 00:15:48,777
as a bigger news story?

290
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,181
You never introduced me,

291
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,183
so it's not like I have
an emotional attachment.

292
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,875
Neither did I.

293
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,986
Can I get this
out of your way?

294
00:15:55,989 --> 00:16:00,259
Can I get that in a body bag?
Uh, a doggy bag? Thanks.

295
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,829
Joey Lucas
and his credit card

296
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,930
appeared in my life out
of nowhere about a year ago.

297
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,469
Zoe and I had started a band
a few months before

298
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,670
when we got tired of hearing
everyone else's sucky music.

299
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:17,112
We decided to create
our own special brand of suck.

300
00:16:17,113 --> 00:16:18,579
We actually weren't that bad,

301
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:20,038
although Zoe began to take it

302
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:22,176
a bit more seriously
than I had ever intended.

303
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,921
We're Mommy's Little Whore!

304
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,918
And our drummer
was a total disaster.

305
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,356
Thank you! Good night.

306
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,133
So, of course,
I had to date him.

307
00:16:39,134 --> 00:16:41,700
Because he wasn't just
a bad drummer.

308
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,636
Hey, you looked
really hot tonight.

309
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:49,307
He was a real firestorm
of stimulating conversation.

310
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,309
Mary? Mary?

311
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,742
Little Mary McCrawley?

312
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:57,206
Uh... thanks for the
compliment. Do I know you?

313
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:59,546
I'm Joey Lucas
from Hoboken, New Jersey.

314
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:03,352
Um, I was your old neighbor.
Friend of your parents?

315
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,219
Uh-huh.

316
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,858
The last time
I had seen Joey Lucas

317
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,729
of Hoboken, New Jersey,

318
00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,827
was the day he left forever.

319
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,459
This was a historic pattern
in Hoboken,

320
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:15,125
and Joey Lucas,
like Frank Sinatra before him,

321
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:19,404
joined a long list of Hobokians
who left and never returned.

322
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,535
My own father was on that list.

323
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,441
He left my mother and me
when I was a year old,

324
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,878
and he never returned.

325
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,609
My mother, on the other hand,
never went anywhere else.

326
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,176
Remember?
Oh, it doesn't matter.

327
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:37,186
Anyway... two days ago,
I see your name on a flyer,

328
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,260
and I think, you know,
it can't be.

329
00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:41,688
I mean, what are the odds?

330
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:46,431
So... I just thought I'd come
by and see the band and you,

331
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,032
and, uh...

332
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:52,235
You... you were awesome.
Yeah, yeah. That's right.

333
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,506
I remember.
I totally saw you, dude.

334
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,037
I thought you were
like a manager or...

335
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,742
Huh.
Somethin'.

336
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,913
Um... Oh, listen. Wait
a minute. I had... Yes. I...

337
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,284
That's my card,
if you ever want to, uh,

338
00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:07,623
you know, have dinner
or... catch up.

339
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,353
Sounds great.

340
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:11,916
I'll call you tomorrow.

341
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,734
I know a really nice place.
It's on First and Third.

342
00:18:14,735 --> 00:18:17,396
Now? Great.
I mean, it looks nice,

343
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:18,397
but I've never been

344
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,728
actually in it.
Bye.

345
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:20,872
Mm-hmm. And that's where
we're going?

346
00:18:20,873 --> 00:18:22,467
It's probably really expensive.

347
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,498
Happily, that evening
turned into a glorious

348
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,304
bimonthly tradition
of free food and drink,

349
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,566
which I'm proud to say
continues today.

350
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,575
So are you gonna start looking
for a new job?

351
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:34,507
I guess. Unfortunately,
I donated my pumps

352
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:37,554
as part of an art installation
before Primo died.

353
00:18:37,555 --> 00:18:39,280
It's hard to explain.

354
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,315
You need a roommate?
Are you offering?

355
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,856
I just, um...

356
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,687
I work in this
collection agency,

357
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,292
so, you know,
I know a lot of people

358
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,661
who can't pay their bills,

359
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,502
and they're always looking
for a place to live.

360
00:18:51,503 --> 00:18:53,197
That sounds great.
Why don't you send

361
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,499
one of those losers my way?

362
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,500
Alright, never mind.
Bad idea. Okay.

363
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,842
No, it's okay, thanks.
I put an ad in The Voice...

364
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:02,466
Do you want to come up?

365
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,575
That's right, um, you...

366
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,137
you write for them
sometimes, right?

367
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,335
Well, sometimes is strong.

368
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,806
I mean, they rarely call,
but that's okay,

369
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,215
'cause I decided
to write a novel

370
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,347
about a homeless,
barefoot ex-temp

371
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:14,892
living off the fat of the land.

372
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,119
Okay, tell me the truth.

373
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:22,394
Did you look up my name at your
collection agency? Don't lie.

374
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,855
No comment.

375
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,533
Oh, my God. I have
the worst credit, don't I?

376
00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:29,532
Not the worst... technically.
Oh. Oh, my God.

377
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,935
No. It's really
not that bad.

378
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,638
Plus, uh, you...
you play the bass,

379
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,410
and you paint
and you write songs.

380
00:19:36,411 --> 00:19:38,409
A girl like you,
you got a lot of options.

381
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,481
All of which pay me handsomely.

382
00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,380
No, no, you're lucky.

383
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,651
I never...
I don't know,

384
00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:45,949
I never had any creative talent.

385
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:49,552
I'm sure you have something.
No, I don't. I swear.

386
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,585
I've always been like a...
a numbers guy.

387
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:53,692
Pretty boring.

388
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,033
I don't think you're boring.

389
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,762
Oh, I gotta go.

390
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,425
Uh, I have an early morning.

391
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,101
Mwah.

392
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,502
See ya.

393
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,441
She is such a drama queen.

394
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,035
And she looks at me
like I'm supposed

395
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,476
to feel sorry for her.
That's when I said to her,

396
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,682
"Annie, I don't know
what you're doing.

397
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,484
You've got your head
up your ass.

398
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,946
Nobody cares
if you're a goddamn diabetic."

399
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,656
Ma.
Mary?

400
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,326
I just got home.
Who is Annie?

401
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:31,396
Oh, this little 10-year-old
who lives next door.

402
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,357
Where have you been? It's late.

403
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,966
Um, well, Primo died,

404
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,167
and I just had dinner
with Joey Lucas.

405
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:41,006
You're still having dinners
with Joey Lucas?

406
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:44,707
Uh, yeah.
Are you sleeping with him?

407
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,310
No, I have a boyfriend.

408
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,882
I mean, I had a boyfriend.
Anyway, no, we just have dinner.

409
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,317
Liar.

410
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,778
Why do you think I sleep
with every guy

411
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,686
who's even remotely nice to me?

412
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,188
Because you do, honey.
He's, like, 60.

413
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:02,227
Don't be ridiculous. Joey
Lucas can't even be 55 yet.

414
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,728
Mm.
And, frankly,

415
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:05,629
have you looked
in the mirror lately?

416
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,261
You're not getting any younger.

417
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,696
Thanks, Ma.
What?

418
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,971
Do you want me
to start sugar-coating

419
00:21:09,972 --> 00:21:11,799
everything I say
all of a sudden?

420
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,342
No, because that would be
really sweet and nurturing,

421
00:21:14,343 --> 00:21:15,970
and that would really
confuse me.

422
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,675
Exactly.
I always liked Joey Lucas.

423
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,578
Please don't do
anything awful to him.

424
00:21:30,755 --> 00:21:33,255
Who did you say died, honey?

425
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:38,862
Spike!

426
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:42,534
Hi, girl.
How are you? Mwah.

427
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,025
You know him? Her?

428
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:47,296
She's a client. I walk her
sometimes when Primo's busy.

429
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,106
When was Primo busy?
Are you working for him now?

430
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,639
Working for him?
Are you his new dog-walker?

431
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,575
Oh, God, no.

432
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:55,980
I mean, it's cool. I...

433
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,251
No, I can assure you
I'm not a dog-walker.

434
00:21:58,252 --> 00:21:59,880
I'm not even a dog-liker.

435
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,885
Oh.

436
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:05,624
Here, babe.
Go on, babe.

437
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,515
Where is Primo?

438
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,056
He's dead.

439
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:12,201
What?
He died a few days ago.

440
00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:16,398
Oh... no.

441
00:22:16,402 --> 00:22:18,570
Primo. Man, no.

442
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:21,471
Man, yes.
Would you like his dog?

443
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:24,042
No, I can't.
I have four already.

444
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:25,110
Oh, my God.

445
00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:28,580
How'd his girlfriend take it?
I'm sorry?

446
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,311
What was her name?
Uh, she was with him

447
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:32,676
the last time I saw him.
I think it was his girlfriend.

448
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:36,185
Why do you think that?
They were making out.

449
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,192
Well, that's usually a giveaway.

450
00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:42,430
Josie. That's it. No,
was that it? No, that's not it.

451
00:22:42,431 --> 00:22:44,658
When was this?
I'm so bad with names.

452
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,698
When did this...
Someone once told me

453
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,229
that when you're being
introduced to someone,

454
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:50,734
you listen to your own name
instead of the one

455
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:52,336
being said to you,
because we're all

456
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:54,268
just egomaniacs
and consequently bad listeners.

457
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:56,073
I don't really know
if that's true or not.

458
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:59,005
Tell me something. Are you
listening to me right now?

459
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,041
Uh-huh.

460
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,206
When was this
Primo-Josie make out session?

461
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,950
When did it occur?
Couple weeks ago.

462
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:10,689
Yeah. God,
I can't believe Primo's dead.

463
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:11,820
Primo, the man who...

464
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:15,455
met everyone and did everything.

465
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:18,161
That's for sure.

466
00:23:20,699 --> 00:23:22,369
Nice meeting you.

467
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,580
Hi.
Your place sounds amazing!

468
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:38,750
I'm 23, studying to
be a model...

469
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,120
Hi, my name's Rhonda.

470
00:23:40,121 --> 00:23:41,919
I'm calling about the ad
for a roommate.

471
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,451
I'm a non-smoker...

472
00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:46,586
Hey, how you doin'? Saw
your ad. My name's Freddy.

473
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:50,292
I'm a lawyer,
5' 10", 155 pounds.

474
00:23:50,296 --> 00:23:51,756
Eight inches uncut...

475
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,074
Jesus Christ.

476
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,920
Ah.

477
00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:18,790
Quelle coïncidence.

478
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:22,861
I'm sorry?
This is Marius Magdalin,

479
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,800
a protégé of Primo's.
I-I-I just brought it

480
00:24:25,801 --> 00:24:28,068
out of the basement
after speaking to you.

481
00:24:28,069 --> 00:24:30,197
Primo had a protégé?
Did you bring him along?

482
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:33,772
Oh, God, no.
See, here's the thing.

483
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:35,513
He's dead.

484
00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,746
Primo est Mort?

485
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,907
Quand?
A few days ago.

486
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:46,846
God, my high-school French
is really paying off.

487
00:24:46,852 --> 00:24:48,652
Vous aimez un chat?

488
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:51,756
Oh, no, wait, that's cat.
Dog is chien.

489
00:24:51,757 --> 00:24:55,387
Would you like a chien?
How did he die?

490
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:57,134
Bad heart.

491
00:24:57,862 --> 00:25:00,532
How true.

492
00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:01,833
Were you his lover?

493
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:04,334
He lived with me.

494
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:07,136
Ça doit être
catastrophique pour toi.

495
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:09,939
Well, I wouldn't say
it was catastrophic.

496
00:25:10,875 --> 00:25:14,335
What a loss.
Just thinking about him, uh,

497
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,106
brings me back to the time

498
00:25:16,115 --> 00:25:19,815
that this town was full
of $300 apartments

499
00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:23,749
and all the galleries
were full of Primo's work.

500
00:25:23,756 --> 00:25:25,286
I know he did some writing,

501
00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:27,691
but I don't remember anything
about painting.

502
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,028
Oh, he was a gifted artist.

503
00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:31,829
Some say a genius.

504
00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:34,666
Genius? Where is it now?

505
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:37,227
Je Ne sais pas.

506
00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:40,166
What a crazy, fascinating man.

507
00:25:40,172 --> 00:25:42,841
I'm sure you've heard
the story millions of times

508
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:46,311
about when Primo finally
defecated, after seven days,

509
00:25:46,312 --> 00:25:50,312
and Rauschenberg made
that bronze sculpture out of it.

510
00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:53,246
Oh, to this day,
it still brings me joy.

511
00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:55,820
Robert Rauschenberg, the artist?
Mm.

512
00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:59,257
See, while Primo was working
at Warhol's Factory,

513
00:25:59,258 --> 00:26:02,458
Andy came up with an idea,
and it was a good one.

514
00:26:02,461 --> 00:26:06,631
It sold last year
at Christie's for 120,000.

515
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,267
Mon Dieu...

516
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,598
I loved that man.

517
00:26:12,937 --> 00:26:14,937
And then he left me
that New Year's Eve

518
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:19,440
for that... little
17-year-old Asian trollop.

519
00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:24,006
Tu devriez Lui parler.

520
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:26,616
I'm sorry, I don't understand.

521
00:26:26,619 --> 00:26:28,619
You should call her.

522
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:30,288
Her name is Sue Watt.

523
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:33,758
She and Primo
were married for a while.

524
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:36,089
Married?
Mm.

525
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,455
Last I heard, she was making

526
00:26:38,464 --> 00:26:41,633
these little films
and stripping downtown.

527
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:45,770
Keep your eyes peeled for
Asian strippers. Gotcha.

528
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:48,940
Zoe?
Frankie?

529
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,341
Get the fuck up here.
Oh, my God.

530
00:26:51,609 --> 00:26:53,077
Zoe.
What?

531
00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:55,408
I can see Asian strippers better
from the stage anyway.

532
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:58,054
Asian stripper, twelve o'clock.
Twelve o'clock.

533
00:26:58,055 --> 00:27:00,218
Hi!

534
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:02,919
Hey, sweetheart.
You want a lap dance?

535
00:27:02,922 --> 00:27:06,022
Uh, no, thank you.
Are you Sue Watt?

536
00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:08,725
Sue Watt?! Fuck off!

537
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:11,327
Did you say Sue Watt?

538
00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:13,233
She wasn't very popular.

539
00:27:13,234 --> 00:27:15,532
Do you know her?
I knew her.

540
00:27:15,534 --> 00:27:18,374
She hasn't stripped in years.
Not since she had the kid.

541
00:27:18,375 --> 00:27:19,637
The kid?
Yeah.

542
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:23,708
"Boo-hoo,
I can't strip. I have a kid."

543
00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,539
Please, I got three kids.

544
00:27:25,544 --> 00:27:26,978
Still strippin'.

545
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,347
Good for you.
I know, right?

546
00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:31,418
Your friend would make
a good stripper.

547
00:27:31,419 --> 00:27:35,017
Yeah, or even a hooker. Do you
know how I can get a hold of her?

548
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:38,589
Sue? I... Oh, you know
who you should talk to?

549
00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:40,358
Miss Vicki.
Miss Vicki?

550
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,827
Yeah. She and Ted have
a show over at the Lava Lamp.

551
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:43,988
It's probably still
goin' on now.

552
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,496
Thanks.
Oh, yeah, sure.

553
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:48,927
Hey, and if you find Sue,
can you tell her

554
00:27:48,934 --> 00:27:50,974
Minnie said she was
a real cunt sandwich?

555
00:27:50,975 --> 00:27:53,240
Got it.

556
00:27:56,507 --> 00:27:59,477
♪ Give me horseback rides
and you can feed me hay ♪

557
00:27:59,478 --> 00:28:02,447
♪ I want to crank Liberace
and dance all day ♪

558
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:08,148
♪ Burn the spaghetti
and throw around confetti ♪

559
00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:11,923
♪ Give me a dozen of those

560
00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:14,292
♪ Give me a case of these

561
00:28:14,293 --> 00:28:17,533
♪ Oh where are my manners

562
00:28:18,896 --> 00:28:20,856
♪ I forgot to say please

563
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,596
♪ Say please

564
00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:24,736
♪ Well say please

565
00:28:24,737 --> 00:28:31,807
♪ Say please...

566
00:28:35,347 --> 00:28:37,047
Oh, if I could love,
I'd love you all.

567
00:28:40,319 --> 00:28:42,989
That was her number
last time I talked to her.

568
00:28:42,990 --> 00:28:45,857
She's in a band,
so she may be out of town.

569
00:28:45,858 --> 00:28:47,058
Beautiful Cock.

570
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:48,289
Excuse me?
Sue's band.

571
00:28:49,594 --> 00:28:50,794
Oh.
So you knew Primo?

572
00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:54,156
Oh, while he dated Sue,
I was a parallel lover.

573
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:57,068
Of course you were.
Wait, wait, wait.

574
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,639
What does that mean?
It means he cheated

575
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,697
on her with...
With him?

576
00:29:00,706 --> 00:29:01,766
I am right here

577
00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:04,042
in front of you, bitch.
Sorry.

578
00:29:04,043 --> 00:29:05,343
You have to understand.

579
00:29:05,344 --> 00:29:07,944
It was the early '80s,
and we were all out,

580
00:29:07,946 --> 00:29:09,946
just trying to grab
the big brass cock ring.

581
00:29:09,948 --> 00:29:12,378
That was Primo's expression.
I doubt it.

582
00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:14,719
Sue didn't have
the kid back then.

583
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,350
We were all just out tryin'
to discover ourselves

584
00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:20,556
through our sexuality until
that crazy AIDS came along

585
00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:22,259
and scared
the bejesus out of us.

586
00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:26,061
Now all anyone fears is this
ridiculous Y2K business.

587
00:29:26,065 --> 00:29:27,525
Kids nowadays
are just chomping at the bit

588
00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:30,233
for a little excitement,
a little tragedy,

589
00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:32,335
a little something to survive.

590
00:29:32,337 --> 00:29:36,067
Mm. But we were the
real survivors.

591
00:29:39,677 --> 00:29:41,007
Those little fuckers.

592
00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:43,713
Now look at us,
all wrapped up in latex,

593
00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:47,115
both literally and emotionally,
which Teddy here enjoys,

594
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,449
but, mmm, what about the rest?

595
00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:50,924
So is Primo the father?
You'd have to ask Sue.

596
00:29:50,925 --> 00:29:53,523
She was already juggling
two men when Primo bounced back

597
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:56,125
into her life.
A chance encounter

598
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,228
at an AA meeting,
a little sake during dinner,

599
00:29:58,230 --> 00:29:59,700
and - pfft - out pops
baby Herman.

600
00:30:01,165 --> 00:30:02,695
Herman?
AA?

601
00:30:02,701 --> 00:30:04,971
If Ted and I have learned
anything in all our years,

602
00:30:04,972 --> 00:30:06,339
it's to not have a cocktail

603
00:30:06,340 --> 00:30:08,668
within 24 hours
of your AA meeting.

604
00:30:08,674 --> 00:30:11,044
But Primo was one of
the real free radicals.

605
00:30:11,045 --> 00:30:14,479
He was really... mm.

606
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,080
An asshole.

607
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:18,216
You know what?

608
00:30:18,217 --> 00:30:20,217
I can accept that.

609
00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:22,088
But also an intuitive artist.

610
00:30:22,089 --> 00:30:24,747
I still have some of
the videos he made with Sue.

611
00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:27,216
I scored them with music
from A Chorus Line.

612
00:30:27,226 --> 00:30:30,086
I think Primo
would've loved the irony.

613
00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:31,825
He made films?

614
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:35,366
He mostly choreographed.

615
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:36,997
Was it a heroic death?

616
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,802
He was watching TV.

617
00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:43,411
That's how Ted's mother died.

618
00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:58,557
Hello?

619
00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,432
Did you...

620
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:11,544
did you just call me
and hang up?

621
00:31:11,545 --> 00:31:14,497
It's fucking two in the morning.

622
00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:20,242
Wow. You said you
wanted to borrow money.

623
00:31:20,245 --> 00:31:22,305
I do, but I thought you'd write
me a check or something.

624
00:31:22,314 --> 00:31:25,049
No, this is easier.

625
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:27,050
Uh... Alright.

626
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:30,052
Thanks for the
late-night speedy service.

627
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:32,415
I promise I'll pay it
all back, I swear.

628
00:31:32,424 --> 00:31:34,864
Don't worry about it.

629
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,300
Hello? I said
put your jacket on, Herman.

630
00:31:45,304 --> 00:31:48,614
Hello? Who is it?!

631
00:31:51,309 --> 00:31:52,909
Hi.
Hi. Come in.

632
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:56,280
I guess you, uh, saw my flyer.
Yeah, thanks for coming over.

633
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:58,681
Do you want to get that?

634
00:31:58,684 --> 00:31:59,424
I can wait.

635
00:31:59,425 --> 00:32:01,378
No, thanks.

636
00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:03,546
I don't know
who the fuck you are,

637
00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:06,055
but I'm gettin'
pretty fucking sick of it.

638
00:32:06,058 --> 00:32:07,458
One more fucking time,

639
00:32:07,459 --> 00:32:09,229
and I'm calling
the fucking police, asshole!

640
00:32:09,230 --> 00:32:10,458
Thanks.

641
00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:14,002
Sure.

642
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:16,866
You a writer?

643
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:20,268
Sometimes. Really? I'm a...
I'm a reader.

644
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:23,040
That's nice.
Nah. No, I'm...

645
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:25,441
uh, I mean,
I do part-time work

646
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:27,682
for Scholastic,
the publishing house.

647
00:32:27,683 --> 00:32:30,479
I read manuscripts
and short-story submissions.

648
00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:32,182
Really?
Do they need anybody else?

649
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:34,986
I don't think so,
but, uh... Oh!

650
00:32:34,987 --> 00:32:36,487
Oh, it's too bad.

651
00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:38,518
There's a... a short-story
competition going on right now.

652
00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:42,159
The winner gets $5,000
and... and tons of press.

653
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,590
Well, why is that too bad?

654
00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:45,255
Well, the deadline's
in six days.

655
00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:47,398
Wednesday, the 29th.

656
00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:48,729
Well, I can make that.

657
00:32:48,734 --> 00:32:50,274
I have a lot of stuff
I've been working on.

658
00:32:50,275 --> 00:32:53,269
It's just a short story, right?
Yeah.

659
00:32:53,272 --> 00:32:55,672
Well, um, definitely,
if you could get me in.

660
00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:57,414
Or have you read
any of the other ones?

661
00:32:57,415 --> 00:33:00,278
Yeah, and...
they all suck. Trust me.

662
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:02,309
Really? Hmm.

663
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:06,017
Oh, shit. Wednesday
is the 29th, today's the 23rd,

664
00:33:06,018 --> 00:33:09,118
I have to be in New Rochelle
in, like, 45 minutes.

665
00:33:09,121 --> 00:33:12,361
Oh, well, you should be fine.
It's the opposite commute.

666
00:33:13,057 --> 00:33:14,957
Well, I don't have a car.

667
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,190
Well, that...

668
00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:18,564
will definitely take
a little longer.

669
00:33:25,036 --> 00:33:26,996
Jesus.

670
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,065
So this Sue Watt was a stripper

671
00:33:29,074 --> 00:33:31,208
when Primo was married to her?

672
00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:32,509
I'm not sure.

673
00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,341
Howard, how do you own a car

674
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:36,576
on a part-time-reader
and dog-walker salary?

675
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,419
Oh, well,
it wasn't very expensive.

676
00:33:38,420 --> 00:33:41,377
So the Helène woman, the French
one, he dated her... in college?

677
00:33:43,654 --> 00:33:45,623
Right.
So then who's Josie?

678
00:33:45,624 --> 00:33:47,594
I don't know. You're the one
that brought up Josie.

679
00:33:47,595 --> 00:33:50,728
She's the make-out queen
of the dog run.

680
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:52,629
Do you sell drugs?

681
00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:54,827
No.

682
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:58,072
No, I-I'm currently investing
in an online dating website

683
00:33:58,073 --> 00:34:00,540
with a few friends.
It doesn't really pay yet.

684
00:34:00,541 --> 00:34:02,369
You know,
it's kind of a slow process.

685
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:04,374
So, wait, when did he date
the drag queen, then?

686
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:06,276
Late '80s.
Late '80s.

687
00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:08,278
You think people
are really gonna wanna

688
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,580
date off of the Internet?

689
00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:11,150
I mean,
that sounds extra-creepy.

690
00:34:11,151 --> 00:34:14,118
Oh, yeah, definitely.
And make friends on it, as well.

691
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:15,788
Ugh.
That's even more pathetic.

692
00:34:15,789 --> 00:34:17,987
But that said, Howard,
I am an occasional

693
00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:21,419
professional writer,
so if you ever need any help...

694
00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,556
Mary McCrawley.
That's it. You...

695
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,463
I read your article
in The Voice,

696
00:34:26,465 --> 00:34:28,195
the one about the state
of the music scene.

697
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,130
Really? That was a while ago.

698
00:34:30,135 --> 00:34:32,935
I've always remembered it.
It was... hysterical.

699
00:34:32,938 --> 00:34:35,708
Thanks, Howard.

700
00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:39,941
Actually, it wasn't supposed
to be funny.

701
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:44,313
Oh.

702
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:46,146
Are you sure?

703
00:34:52,556 --> 00:34:56,756
Do I have too much makeup on?

704
00:34:56,762 --> 00:34:59,962
I wouldn't go so crazy
with the blush next time.

705
00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:02,395
Oh. Thanks.

706
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:11,666
Come on in.

707
00:35:15,179 --> 00:35:17,409
I'm watching my stories.

708
00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:23,387
Would you give me a push?

709
00:35:23,388 --> 00:35:25,588
Primo's room is straight ahead.

710
00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:41,570
He's on the bed.

711
00:35:57,822 --> 00:36:01,092
There in the box
are some of his poems.

712
00:36:05,496 --> 00:36:07,856
Maybe you'd like
to read one of them

713
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:10,326
at, uh... at the,
uh... uh...

714
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:13,395
Ash blow?
Mm, sure.

715
00:36:13,405 --> 00:36:17,805
You can take any of
the stuff that you want.

716
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:20,809
"Go ahead.
Kiss to your heart's content.

717
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:25,249
It won't make you any younger
or any more in love.

718
00:36:25,250 --> 00:36:26,819
And I can laugh much longer

719
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:28,848
while thinking
how the both of you...

720
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:32,556
can't believe either hasn't
or will ever kiss another

721
00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:36,027
to wilt and wither this one."

722
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:38,861
It has two titles:

723
00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:42,834
"For Sue" or "Fuck You, Fuck."

724
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:45,031
I like the second one.

725
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:47,636
♪

726
00:37:02,786 --> 00:37:06,356
Um, are you Mary?
We spoke on the phone.

727
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:09,426
I came to look at the apartment.

728
00:37:09,427 --> 00:37:11,657
Well, this is it.

729
00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:21,195
Uh... is there an...
a bedroom?

730
00:37:34,885 --> 00:37:38,285
Hey. How's the short story
coming along?

731
00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:40,090
Great.

732
00:37:44,161 --> 00:37:47,131
Do you need me to get you
some food or somethin'?

733
00:37:47,631 --> 00:37:49,571
No, thanks.

734
00:37:50,834 --> 00:37:53,571
Hey, Spike.

735
00:37:53,572 --> 00:37:55,712
How are you?

736
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:01,736
These all yours?
Yeah, mostly.

737
00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:04,006
I really like 'em.

738
00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:05,975
Thanks.

739
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:09,420
What's this?

740
00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:11,751
Uh... oh, you know,
I used to work

741
00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:13,056
for this big catering company,

742
00:38:13,058 --> 00:38:15,218
and they fired me
for being lazy,

743
00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:18,526
so I wrote them this nasty
letter. And then they sent me

744
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:20,230
these fucking photos
as fucking evidence.

745
00:38:20,231 --> 00:38:22,531
"Oh, she's lazy." Huh.

746
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:26,044
Okay. Well,
we'll be back in a jiff.

747
00:38:29,506 --> 00:38:31,606
Mary, hi. It's Joey.

748
00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:33,040
So I guess
we aren't doin' dinner

749
00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:35,512
since I haven't heard from you.

750
00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,481
Everything okay?

751
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,116
Call me?

752
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:43,247
Mare, what the fuck?
Where are you? Call me.

753
00:39:14,351 --> 00:39:15,651
♪ One

754
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:17,521
♪ Singular sensation

755
00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:21,492
♪ Every little step
she takes ♪

756
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,460
♪ One

757
00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:25,561
♪ Thrilling combination

758
00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:29,867
♪ Every move that she makes

759
00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:37,338
♪ One smile and suddenly
nobody else will do ♪

760
00:39:37,342 --> 00:39:40,942
♪ You know
you'll never be lonely ♪

761
00:39:40,945 --> 00:39:44,945
♪ With you know who

762
00:39:45,649 --> 00:39:48,218
♪ One moment in her presence

763
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:52,089
♪ And you can forget
the rest ♪

764
00:39:52,090 --> 00:39:57,690
♪ For the girl
is second best to none ♪

765
00:39:57,696 --> 00:40:00,156
♪ Son

766
00:40:01,598 --> 00:40:03,698
Ah...

767
00:40:06,870 --> 00:40:09,707
Hi.
Hi, Joey.

768
00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:11,938
You okay? I been worried.

769
00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:15,283
Oh, I'm sorry, I know.
I've just been really busy.

770
00:40:15,284 --> 00:40:17,080
Ah. Can I come in?

771
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:18,612
Um...

772
00:40:18,616 --> 00:40:20,576
I brought donuts.

773
00:40:20,585 --> 00:40:24,115
It's okay,
I'm not gonna be long.

774
00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:28,592
Jesus.

775
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:30,993
Wow.

776
00:40:32,229 --> 00:40:33,329
Sorry.

777
00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:35,601
Oh, it's kind of messy
'cause I've been working

778
00:40:35,602 --> 00:40:38,940
on a short story for a contest,
and the deadline is soon.

779
00:40:38,941 --> 00:40:41,037
Huh.

780
00:40:44,007 --> 00:40:48,477
"Cumming Attractions,
by Primo Schultz."

781
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:49,680
This was his poetry?

782
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:52,081
One man's poetry...

783
00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,183
"She pressed her creamy thighs

784
00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:56,985
against his hard,
throbbing member."

785
00:40:56,988 --> 00:40:58,688
That doesn't rhyme.

786
00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,892
Hi.

787
00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:06,704
Hi, Howard. Um... Joey,
Howard. Howard, Joey.

788
00:41:06,705 --> 00:41:09,398
Hey, how are ya?
Good.

789
00:41:10,667 --> 00:41:12,467
Just... Ahem.

790
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,100
Hey, Spike.

791
00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:16,305
How are you?

792
00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:23,879
Well, I gotta go. Okay.

793
00:41:23,882 --> 00:41:26,850
I'll, uh...
I'll just, um...

794
00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:29,291
Okay, I'll just see you later.

795
00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:32,324
See ya.

796
00:41:33,891 --> 00:41:35,791
So I'll have her back in a few.

797
00:41:35,794 --> 00:41:39,004
Okay. Thanks, Howard.
Yeah. Come on.

798
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:47,471
Hey, this is Zoe.
Leave a message.

799
00:41:57,881 --> 00:42:00,220
If you want Sue,
leave a message.

800
00:42:00,221 --> 00:42:02,688
If this is Chet Mazur,
you're an asshole.

801
00:42:02,689 --> 00:42:05,517
If this is the fucker that
keeps hanging up on me,

802
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:08,692
fuck you, you fucking fuck.
Anyone else,

803
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:13,630
the auditions are being held at
Context Studios, 550 Avenue A,

804
00:42:13,631 --> 00:42:15,031
today from 10:00 to noon.

805
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:18,103
Only come if you're talented.

806
00:42:22,439 --> 00:42:26,176
Didn't you play bass
for Mommy's Little Whore?

807
00:42:26,177 --> 00:42:28,007
How old are you?
Twenty-one.

808
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:30,812
I saw you guys five years ago
at the Pyramid.

809
00:42:30,815 --> 00:42:32,675
Wow.
Yeah, you guys were great.

810
00:42:32,684 --> 00:42:33,853
Except your drummer

811
00:42:33,854 --> 00:42:35,052
kinda sucked.
I know.

812
00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:37,253
Why...
why'd you guys break up?

813
00:42:37,255 --> 00:42:40,755
Well, he was nice,
but he was really stupid.

814
00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:42,088
I meant the band.

815
00:42:42,093 --> 00:42:44,493
Oh, well... we just started
it for a lark.

816
00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:46,095
I mean, my best friend Zoe,
the lead singer,

817
00:42:46,097 --> 00:42:47,497
I mean, she would've continued,

818
00:42:47,498 --> 00:42:49,928
but, you know, for me,
it was just a lark.

819
00:42:49,934 --> 00:42:51,634
You said that.

820
00:42:51,636 --> 00:42:53,236
Do you have any rolling papers?

821
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,338
- Yeah.
- Are you fucking deaf?

822
00:42:56,341 --> 00:42:58,171
I mean, there's no future.
People that I know

823
00:42:58,176 --> 00:43:00,376
that end up in bands,
they all become drunken losers,

824
00:43:00,378 --> 00:43:02,448
which is really where
most of them end up.

825
00:43:02,449 --> 00:43:04,977
I mean, believe me,
I write about it, so I know,

826
00:43:04,983 --> 00:43:07,553
and being in a band can
lead to a disastrous,

827
00:43:07,554 --> 00:43:09,352
drug-induced, pathetic end.

828
00:43:09,354 --> 00:43:11,854
- Really, I consider myself lucky.
- I don't give a fuck

829
00:43:11,856 --> 00:43:13,986
how you wanna play it!
This is my band!

830
00:43:13,992 --> 00:43:16,462
The day you start a band
and I come for tryouts,

831
00:43:16,463 --> 00:43:18,861
that's when you can tell
me how to do it! Fuck off!

832
00:43:18,863 --> 00:43:24,101
Oh, try the Village Vanguard!
They love jazz!

833
00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:27,172
Don't waste my time, and don't
waste Beautiful Cock's time.

834
00:43:27,173 --> 00:43:31,571
If you got a problem with that,
door's over there. Next!

835
00:43:35,979 --> 00:43:37,909
Good luck.

836
00:43:43,453 --> 00:43:46,423
Who the hell are you?
I'm Mary McCrawley.

837
00:43:46,424 --> 00:43:48,294
Where's your bass?
Plannin' to fucking hum?

838
00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:50,193
I actually, uh...
Here, use this.

839
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:52,529
I wanted to tell you, um...
Here.

840
00:43:52,530 --> 00:43:55,899
Well, I have played bass before.
I guess I could give it a whirl.

841
00:43:55,900 --> 00:43:57,630
Yeah, let's do it.

842
00:43:57,635 --> 00:44:01,095
It's in E.
Do it against the drums.

843
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:04,706
Okay?

844
00:44:04,709 --> 00:44:06,309
Alright.

845
00:44:06,311 --> 00:44:08,041
One, two!

846
00:44:08,046 --> 00:44:10,476
One, two, three, four!

847
00:44:44,548 --> 00:44:46,917
Alright, alright, alright!

848
00:44:46,918 --> 00:44:49,248
Look who's up.

849
00:44:50,687 --> 00:44:52,456
That's Herman.

850
00:44:52,457 --> 00:44:53,657
Hi.

851
00:44:53,658 --> 00:44:57,528
Babe, you can...
you can go back and play, love.

852
00:45:02,399 --> 00:45:04,299
Were you in Mommy's
Little Whore?

853
00:45:06,069 --> 00:45:08,138
I can't believe anybody knew us.

854
00:45:08,139 --> 00:45:10,909
If you joined us, you'd have
to dress a bit sexier.

855
00:45:10,910 --> 00:45:13,138
Yeah? I mean, uh,
you know that.

856
00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:15,112
Yeah, of course.

857
00:45:15,113 --> 00:45:16,851
Alright.
Well, we'll let you know.

858
00:45:16,852 --> 00:45:18,208
I mean, it is a group decision.

859
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:21,916
Ahem.
Oh, fuck this. You're in.

860
00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:24,219
What?
Another fine group decision.

861
00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,222
Aren't there
some other girls out there?

862
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,624
I think Sue
scared them all away.

863
00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:30,385
Well, fuck them.
They're all children anyway,

864
00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:32,155
10 times worse than you.
Really?

865
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:34,998
Rehearsal tomorrow at 4:00.
Right here.

866
00:45:34,999 --> 00:45:36,666
Great.

867
00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:39,767
Thanks.

868
00:45:39,771 --> 00:45:43,540
Yeah. Oh, Christ. What the
fuck you carry in this thing?

869
00:45:43,541 --> 00:45:45,941
Uh... Thanks.

870
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:03,188
Joey?

871
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,669
Mary. Uh, one sec.

872
00:46:12,670 --> 00:46:15,070
Uh... nah.

873
00:46:15,073 --> 00:46:16,273
How are ya?

874
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:18,074
What are you doin'?

875
00:46:18,076 --> 00:46:21,336
I was, uh, you know, shopping.

876
00:46:24,147 --> 00:46:27,617
Uh... are we on
for dinner tomorrow...

877
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:29,948
or not?

878
00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:31,654
Sure.

879
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:35,086
Okay, then.

880
00:46:36,526 --> 00:46:38,756
I'll see you then.

881
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:44,767
Fuck.

882
00:46:45,802 --> 00:46:47,002
Shit.

883
00:46:51,041 --> 00:46:53,279
Hi, this is Zoe.
How can I help you save

884
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,437
hundreds of dollars
on your car insurance today?

885
00:46:55,446 --> 00:46:58,706
Oh, my God. That's how
you have to answer the phone?

886
00:46:58,716 --> 00:47:01,316
Hi. I know. Can you
believe it? New management.

887
00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:03,049
Takes everything in my power
not to say,

888
00:47:03,054 --> 00:47:05,554
"Hi, this is Zoe. How would you
like to titty-fuck me today?"

889
00:47:05,556 --> 00:47:07,056
And where the hell
have you been?

890
00:47:07,058 --> 00:47:08,658
You've got to meet
this new guy I'm seeing.

891
00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:11,189
I've been writing.
Um, I need to talk to you.

892
00:47:11,195 --> 00:47:13,225
I have kind of
a serious guy problem.

893
00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:16,831
Oh, Christ, get in line.
Okay, um...

894
00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:20,103
Arrow Bar Happy Hour,
ladies drink for free till 7:00.

895
00:47:20,104 --> 00:47:22,574
And that bitch better let me out
for happy hour. Can you make it?

896
00:47:22,575 --> 00:47:24,743
I think I could be there
in, like, 30 minutes.

897
00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:27,676
I should be writing.

898
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,748
Yeah, we got those invoices
out to you on Monday.

899
00:47:30,580 --> 00:47:33,180
Zoe?
Yeah, of course. Absolutely.

900
00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:35,384
Have a wonderful day.

901
00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:37,446
Zoe?

902
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:39,688
Hmm.

903
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:51,065
Hey.
Hi! Howard, hi!

904
00:47:51,068 --> 00:47:53,168
Oh, hi.
Hi, Howard!

905
00:47:53,171 --> 00:47:54,471
How'd you know I was here?

906
00:47:54,472 --> 00:47:56,242
You, uh, you called me
from the payphone.

907
00:47:56,243 --> 00:47:59,840
I did?
I should not smoke pot.

908
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:02,712
Pedro Almodovar.
Why did I call?

909
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:04,247
Uh, you didn't say.

910
00:48:04,248 --> 00:48:07,048
I- I just thought
you were concerned about Spike.

911
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:09,286
That is impossible.

912
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:13,056
I'm just havin' a drink
with my Primo.

913
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:14,787
Pedro Almodovar.

914
00:48:15,425 --> 00:48:17,185
Why do you keep saying that?

915
00:48:17,195 --> 00:48:19,455
What?
Pedro Almodovar.

916
00:48:19,463 --> 00:48:21,932
Hmm. He's a
film director.

917
00:48:21,933 --> 00:48:25,202
Hmm?
I know.

918
00:48:25,203 --> 00:48:26,736
It's a drunk test I do.

919
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:31,407
As long as I can say Pedro
Almodovar, then I'm not drunk.

920
00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:33,476
I'm not drunk.

921
00:48:33,477 --> 00:48:36,077
Look, where is Zoe? I've been
waiting for her for hours.

922
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,647
Zoe?
My dearest,

923
00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:39,648
dearest friend, Howard.
But she's not gonna be

924
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,480
my dearest,
dearest friend anymore,

925
00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:46,415
because I'm in a band.
She's not gonna like it.

926
00:48:46,424 --> 00:48:48,524
What do you listen to, Howard?

927
00:48:48,526 --> 00:48:51,286
Listen to?
Oh, you mean for music.

928
00:48:51,295 --> 00:48:54,425
Um, well,
right now I'm listening

929
00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:56,902
to "Try Me One Time"
by Delores Johnson.

930
00:48:56,903 --> 00:48:58,868
"Try Me One Time."

931
00:48:58,869 --> 00:49:00,239
By Delores Johnson, yeah.

932
00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:02,806
So that's it?
Just the one song?

933
00:49:02,807 --> 00:49:07,177
As far as music goes, yeah,
pretty much right now, yeah.

934
00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:08,508
Nurse!

935
00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:11,251
Oh, you know what?
How... how about I, uh,

936
00:49:11,252 --> 00:49:12,509
how about I take you home?

937
00:49:12,516 --> 00:49:14,246
I- I don't think
your friend's comin'.

938
00:49:14,252 --> 00:49:17,052
You wouldn't cheat on me,
would you, Howard?

939
00:49:17,054 --> 00:49:18,954
No, I wouldn't.

940
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,856
'Cause you're an honest man.

941
00:49:20,858 --> 00:49:22,658
You're the most honest man
I've ever met.

942
00:49:22,660 --> 00:49:24,490
But you're young
and it's all gonna change,

943
00:49:24,495 --> 00:49:28,155
and soon you'll just be another
leaving, cheating, lying,

944
00:49:28,165 --> 00:49:31,425
porno-writing,
painting, dying man.

945
00:49:31,435 --> 00:49:34,095
But for now...
you're good people.

946
00:49:34,105 --> 00:49:35,765
Thank you.

947
00:49:35,773 --> 00:49:38,708
You know, I had a question
for Zoe about breaking up,

948
00:49:38,709 --> 00:49:40,409
'cause she's a professional
breaker-upper,

949
00:49:40,411 --> 00:49:43,081
but she doesn't seem to be
here, so can you help me?

950
00:49:43,082 --> 00:49:46,480
Um, sure. Yeah, I-I didn't
know you were seeing anyone.

951
00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:48,784
Was it that guy I met
at your apartment, Joey?

952
00:49:48,786 --> 00:49:50,916
Bingo.
Oh.

953
00:49:50,921 --> 00:49:52,421
Did... did Primo know?

954
00:49:52,423 --> 00:49:54,758
I wasn't cheating on Primo.

955
00:49:54,759 --> 00:49:57,559
Primo was cheating on me
with Josie.

956
00:49:57,561 --> 00:50:00,530
So you've only been seeing
this guy since Primo died?

957
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:02,231
Well, technically,
we're not seeing each other,

958
00:50:02,233 --> 00:50:03,573
because I've always been
dating someone

959
00:50:03,574 --> 00:50:05,697
since we've been together,
but I don't know,

960
00:50:05,703 --> 00:50:07,903
it's just an awkward
break-up because...

961
00:50:09,072 --> 00:50:12,072
Pedro Almodovar.

962
00:50:12,076 --> 00:50:16,076
It's awkward, Howard, because
I've flirted with him so much.

963
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,480
I mean,
he's not officially my type,

964
00:50:18,482 --> 00:50:21,351
but I don't know,
I'm an asshole.

965
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,221
I always knew he wasn't my type.

966
00:50:23,222 --> 00:50:24,350
Well, are you sure?

967
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:26,315
I am sure,
'cause this is my type.

968
00:50:26,324 --> 00:50:28,093
Well, I mean, then I would think

969
00:50:28,094 --> 00:50:30,292
that if you aren't
seeing each other,

970
00:50:30,294 --> 00:50:32,594
then it would be easier
to, you know...

971
00:50:34,864 --> 00:50:36,132
break up with him.

972
00:50:36,133 --> 00:50:38,503
You would think that.
But I think he really likes me.

973
00:50:41,037 --> 00:50:42,937
I mean, I know he likes me.
I know the look.

974
00:50:44,808 --> 00:50:45,868
The look?

975
00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:48,476
The look. You know,
it's like these eyes,

976
00:50:48,479 --> 00:50:50,679
like, little sweet eyes,
and this crooked smile,

977
00:50:50,681 --> 00:50:52,881
like he wants to just
hug me or something.

978
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:54,918
You know, the look?

979
00:50:54,919 --> 00:50:57,349
Anyway, he's just
a really, really nice guy,

980
00:50:57,355 --> 00:51:00,785
and free dinners
are just fantastic.

981
00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:03,091
Aren't free dinners
just fantastic?

982
00:51:03,094 --> 00:51:05,628
Uh, Pedro Almodovar.

983
00:51:05,629 --> 00:51:07,399
Thanks.

984
00:51:08,298 --> 00:51:10,668
Do you think I flirt too much?

985
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:14,002
No, I don't.

986
00:51:14,437 --> 00:51:16,037
Thank you.

987
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,740
I have to go
to the ladies' room.

988
00:51:18,743 --> 00:51:20,783
Okay.

989
00:52:00,383 --> 00:52:03,093
Hey.
Hey, Zoe.

990
00:52:04,254 --> 00:52:07,357
Zoe, Howard.
Howard, Zoe.

991
00:52:07,358 --> 00:52:09,928
Howard is the most
honest man in town.

992
00:52:09,929 --> 00:52:12,187
Hi.

993
00:52:12,196 --> 00:52:13,856
You missed the free drinks.
I know.

994
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:15,832
Mamie Eisenhower
wouldn't let me leave.

995
00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:17,633
Well, let's go somewhere else.
Come on, Howard.

996
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:19,795
No, actually, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get goin'.

997
00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:24,040
But if you want to pick up
Spike, here's my address.

998
00:52:24,041 --> 00:52:25,308
Nice meeting you.

999
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,939
Same to you.

1000
00:52:27,945 --> 00:52:31,075
You scared away my dog-walker.
Oh, who cares? Come on.

1001
00:52:31,081 --> 00:52:34,951
I need a drink. Jeff said
he'd meet us at the Double Down.

1002
00:52:38,955 --> 00:52:40,355
Hi!

1003
00:52:40,357 --> 00:52:42,387
Hey-hey-hey.

1004
00:52:42,393 --> 00:52:44,661
This is Mary.
Hi.

1005
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:47,762
Cute top.
Thanks. Right back at ya.

1006
00:52:47,765 --> 00:52:49,565
Zozo's told me so much
about you.

1007
00:52:49,567 --> 00:52:52,327
Did she tell you
we had an opening at the store?

1008
00:52:52,336 --> 00:52:54,096
Yeah, that's great.

1009
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:57,044
Can we have some girl talk
for just a second?

1010
00:52:57,045 --> 00:52:59,741
Sure.
Alright, one second.

1011
00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:02,077
What's up?

1012
00:53:02,079 --> 00:53:04,879
Your new guy Jeff is wearing
a Kopy Kopy Kopy shirt.

1013
00:53:04,882 --> 00:53:06,852
Yeah, I know. He just got
off work. He's a manager.

1014
00:53:06,853 --> 00:53:09,489
Well, am I to assume that
the job opening he's speaking of

1015
00:53:09,490 --> 00:53:10,987
is in a Kopy Kopy Kopy store?

1016
00:53:10,988 --> 00:53:14,418
Because have you ever been
in a Kopy Kopy Kopy store?

1017
00:53:14,425 --> 00:53:16,115
They're like Nazis in there,
and the workers

1018
00:53:16,126 --> 00:53:18,586
have to get the copies out
in two minutes flat,

1019
00:53:18,596 --> 00:53:20,656
or else they're like
tortured in the back room,

1020
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:22,334
and their fingers are
all covered with paper cuts.

1021
00:53:22,335 --> 00:53:25,533
And I'm not fucking kidding you,
some of them have gone missing.

1022
00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:28,196
You're not exactly
loaded with options, Mare.

1023
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:30,005
Well, I am loaded with
the option

1024
00:53:30,007 --> 00:53:33,777
never to work
at a Kopy Kopy Kopy store.

1025
00:53:38,515 --> 00:53:40,215
And he's gay.
Ugh.

1026
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:42,677
I knew you'd say that. I know
that you think everybody's gay.

1027
00:53:42,686 --> 00:53:44,786
No, I don't.
I think your new boyfriend,

1028
00:53:44,788 --> 00:53:48,758
who wants me to work
at Kopy Kopy Kopy, is gay.

1029
00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:21,960
Mary.

1030
00:54:24,394 --> 00:54:26,564
Mary?

1031
00:54:28,464 --> 00:54:30,104
Mary.

1032
00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:35,695
Mary?
Oh, God.

1033
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,140
Oh my God.

1034
00:54:39,143 --> 00:54:41,143
Hi. Uh, the door was open.

1035
00:54:41,145 --> 00:54:43,605
Sorry, I-I, uh, didn't know
if you were, um...

1036
00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,049
It's okay. It's okay.

1037
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:47,450
Um, what time is it?

1038
00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:51,287
Uh, it's, um,
quarter after 3:00.

1039
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:55,888
Mm. I guess I was
catching up on some sleep.

1040
00:54:55,893 --> 00:54:58,433
Well, I was worried
because you didn't, uh...

1041
00:54:58,434 --> 00:55:01,329
you didn't pick up Spike
and, uh...

1042
00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:03,902
I didn't know if you got home
okay last night. You know?

1043
00:55:03,903 --> 00:55:07,370
Thanks.
Do you want a Pop Tart?

1044
00:55:07,371 --> 00:55:09,371
Uh...

1045
00:55:10,573 --> 00:55:12,043
do you have any ice cream?

1046
00:55:14,944 --> 00:55:16,613
Chocolate-chip.

1047
00:55:16,614 --> 00:55:20,817
What kind of Pop Tart?
Frosted cinnamon.

1048
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:23,888
Wow, perfect.
Yes, I would. Thank you.

1049
00:55:30,126 --> 00:55:35,156
♪ I've got a story
and I could tell ♪

1050
00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:39,065
♪ It's in pieces
for right now ♪

1051
00:55:39,069 --> 00:55:42,499
♪ But it'll come again soon

1052
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:47,476
♪ If you only knew
all the facts ♪

1053
00:55:47,478 --> 00:55:52,178
♪ Only knew all the facts

1054
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:57,220
♪ I've been in love with you
for quite some time ♪

1055
00:55:57,221 --> 00:56:03,691
♪ Stands still for me each
and every day after day... ♪

1056
00:56:05,528 --> 00:56:08,058
You almost done
with the short story?

1057
00:56:09,065 --> 00:56:11,665
Shit. What time
did you say it was?

1058
00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:14,099
Uh, well,
it's a little after 3:15 now.

1059
00:56:14,104 --> 00:56:17,573
Shit. Um, I'll be back later
to pick up Spike, I promise.

1060
00:56:17,574 --> 00:56:20,044
Oh, alright. That's fine.

1061
00:56:22,278 --> 00:56:24,678
Do you...?

1062
00:56:24,682 --> 00:56:28,151
Um... the bedroom's
back to the left.

1063
00:56:28,152 --> 00:56:32,092
There's only one bathroom.
Call me if you're interested.

1064
00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,186
Ice cream?

1065
00:56:40,596 --> 00:56:43,126
Where's Sue?
Oh, hey. She's not here.

1066
00:56:43,133 --> 00:56:45,902
Do you wanna get a drink?
Absolutely.

1067
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:49,203
Well, what if Sue comes back?
We'll leave her a note.

1068
00:56:49,206 --> 00:56:52,536
I've been screwing the bartender
at that place across the street,

1069
00:56:52,543 --> 00:56:55,143
so drinks should be a bargain.

1070
00:56:55,145 --> 00:56:57,605
So how long was Sue
married to that guy?

1071
00:56:57,614 --> 00:56:58,654
What's his name again?

1072
00:56:58,655 --> 00:57:00,717
Primo.
Mm.

1073
00:57:00,718 --> 00:57:02,078
Primo, right.

1074
00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:05,686
Sue never married him.
Oh, I just assumed that...

1075
00:57:05,689 --> 00:57:08,389
Norma did.
Somebody had to.

1076
00:57:08,392 --> 00:57:09,792
Why? What do you mean?

1077
00:57:09,793 --> 00:57:11,533
He just needed
a lot of attention.

1078
00:57:11,534 --> 00:57:12,758
You know the type.

1079
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:15,401
I don't understand.
Why did you marry him?

1080
00:57:15,402 --> 00:57:16,899
That was Sue's bright idea.

1081
00:57:16,900 --> 00:57:20,369
I had a job at the time
that had health insurance,

1082
00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:23,570
and she thought it would be
a good idea for him to marry me,

1083
00:57:23,574 --> 00:57:25,244
and then he could have
my insurance

1084
00:57:25,245 --> 00:57:27,942
and then... go to rehab.

1085
00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:30,045
Until they started fucking.

1086
00:57:30,047 --> 00:57:32,607
There's Sue.
She doesn't know anything.

1087
00:57:32,616 --> 00:57:34,576
Ix-nay on the imo-Pre.

1088
00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:37,185
No oblem-pre.

1089
00:57:41,324 --> 00:57:42,662
Just got fucking evicted.

1090
00:57:42,663 --> 00:57:45,059
Can you believe it?
I got a fucking kid.

1091
00:57:45,062 --> 00:57:46,929
You're kidding.
Why?

1092
00:57:46,930 --> 00:57:50,566
Well, I didn't pay the rent.
Oh, how unreasonable.

1093
00:57:50,567 --> 00:57:52,197
Did you rehearse?

1094
00:57:52,202 --> 00:57:55,638
Yes, we did, Sue.
And you were sorely missed.

1095
00:57:55,639 --> 00:57:58,109
Mary here is quite impressive.

1096
00:57:59,675 --> 00:58:01,505
Didn't you wear that yesterday?

1097
00:58:06,582 --> 00:58:09,252
So you're in this girl's band?

1098
00:58:09,253 --> 00:58:11,693
Yeah, you've seen me
in a band before.

1099
00:58:11,694 --> 00:58:13,256
It's not that strange.

1100
00:58:13,257 --> 00:58:17,827
But it's the ex-wife's...
of your dead boyfriend's band.

1101
00:58:17,828 --> 00:58:21,658
Can we change
the subject? Waiter?

1102
00:58:21,665 --> 00:58:23,895
How long was Primo
married to this woman?

1103
00:58:23,901 --> 00:58:25,970
He wasn't.
He just had her kid.

1104
00:58:25,971 --> 00:58:29,038
He married her friend instead.
She's in the band, too.

1105
00:58:29,039 --> 00:58:30,169
Jeez.

1106
00:58:30,174 --> 00:58:32,143
You know, you asked me
how I'm doing,

1107
00:58:32,144 --> 00:58:34,512
and then you get all judgy.
I-I'm not...

1108
00:58:34,513 --> 00:58:36,211
Can we get another one of these?

1109
00:58:36,213 --> 00:58:38,213
I'm not... I'm not judging you.

1110
00:58:39,215 --> 00:58:40,475
Are you okay?

1111
00:58:40,484 --> 00:58:43,054
Why doesn't everyone keep
asking me that? I am terrific.

1112
00:58:43,055 --> 00:58:45,323
It turns out
that my ex-dead boyfriend

1113
00:58:45,324 --> 00:58:47,262
was the most exciting man
that I have ever met.

1114
00:58:48,257 --> 00:58:49,957
Of course, while he was with me,

1115
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,130
he was pretending to be a
total loser, which is of course

1116
00:58:52,131 --> 00:58:54,797
why I was attracted to him
in the first place,

1117
00:58:54,798 --> 00:58:55,928
which,
now that I think about it,

1118
00:58:55,933 --> 00:58:58,933
just adds
to his fucking brilliance.

1119
00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:00,996
Fucking falling in love
with him.

1120
00:59:01,004 --> 00:59:03,706
But he's dead, Mary.

1121
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:05,137
You just never understood him.

1122
00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:07,642
Look, of course
I don't understand him.

1123
00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:09,284
I never even met him.

1124
00:59:13,482 --> 00:59:16,322
Joey, Primo. Primo, Joey.
Are you happy now?

1125
00:59:16,323 --> 00:59:18,888
You-you keep his urn
in your purse?

1126
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,859
Judge, judge, judge.

1127
00:59:23,893 --> 00:59:25,163
I just don't understand.

1128
00:59:25,164 --> 00:59:28,798
I mean, did I...
did I do something wrong?

1129
00:59:28,799 --> 00:59:31,067
And why are you
drinking so much?

1130
00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:32,428
Judgy, judgy, judgy.

1131
00:59:32,436 --> 00:59:35,536
Stop saying that. Judgy, judgy, judgy.

1132
00:59:35,539 --> 00:59:38,239
Stop it. I...

1133
00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:39,876
Look, I'm just...

1134
00:59:39,877 --> 00:59:41,307
Primo, I love you.

1135
00:59:41,311 --> 00:59:43,251
Oh, don't.
Uh, that's... not... clean.

1136
00:59:43,252 --> 00:59:47,977
Look, I'm worried about you.
I love ya. I can't help it.

1137
00:59:49,619 --> 00:59:52,088
I know. I'm sorry.
I have to go.

1138
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:55,889
Where? Come on, Mare,
don't do that...

1139
00:59:59,228 --> 01:00:02,658
Hey, lady.

1140
01:00:02,666 --> 01:00:05,666
You're gonna have to dump that.
No open containers.

1141
01:00:10,473 --> 01:00:12,041
The other one, too.

1142
01:00:12,042 --> 01:00:13,776
This is my boyfriend.

1143
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:16,037
Although I do think
he would be flattered

1144
01:00:16,046 --> 01:00:17,546
that an officer of the law
mistook him

1145
01:00:17,547 --> 01:00:22,317
for a decanter of Jim Beam,
'cause he was an alcoholic.

1146
01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:24,719
"Courtesy, Professionalism,
Respect."

1147
01:00:24,721 --> 01:00:26,821
That's all I ever wanted
from a man.

1148
01:00:31,928 --> 01:00:34,658
Mary?
Hola.

1149
01:00:51,948 --> 01:00:53,648
Hey.
Hi.

1150
01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:54,817
Sorry.

1151
01:00:54,818 --> 01:00:56,448
No, no, it's okay.

1152
01:01:08,030 --> 01:01:10,266
Excuse me. What's going on?

1153
01:01:10,267 --> 01:01:14,467
Oh, dear. Where are
you from, New Jersey?

1154
01:01:14,471 --> 01:01:16,071
Well, actually...

1155
01:01:16,073 --> 01:01:18,040
Tomorrow's Wigstock,

1156
01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:22,111
a celebration
of our beautiful righteousness.

1157
01:01:22,112 --> 01:01:24,412
Oh, is it Wigstock already?
I totally forgot.

1158
01:01:24,414 --> 01:01:27,049
Oh, Lord.
Can I get a hit of that?

1159
01:01:27,050 --> 01:01:28,750
It's my boyfriend!
Alright!

1160
01:01:28,752 --> 01:01:33,122
No need to bite my head off.
Go ahead and drink him up.

1161
01:01:36,759 --> 01:01:38,227
Goodbye, Primo.

1162
01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:40,896
We had some good times.

1163
01:01:40,897 --> 01:01:43,797
I counted them, actually. Three.

1164
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:45,768
Goodbye, Primo.

1165
01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:47,737
We had three good times.

1166
01:01:47,738 --> 01:01:51,008
Primo?
Primo Schultz?!

1167
01:02:00,983 --> 01:02:04,293
I guess it's more dramatic
if the wind's blowing.

1168
01:02:12,695 --> 01:02:14,555
Oh, my God.

1169
01:02:15,197 --> 01:02:17,197
Zoe?

1170
01:02:19,468 --> 01:02:22,398
He's cheating on me.

1171
01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:24,236
Who?
Jeff!

1172
01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:27,176
With a girl?
Was it one of the workers?

1173
01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:30,307
I had such a bad feeling.

1174
01:02:30,313 --> 01:02:32,413
I knew it.
It was going so well,

1175
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:35,916
and then I had to give him
the... 1-2-3.

1176
01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:38,487
The 1-2-3?

1177
01:02:38,488 --> 01:02:40,658
Yeah, the 1-2-3.

1178
01:02:42,591 --> 01:02:47,661
He was asleep in my bed and
it was so... perfect, I swear.

1179
01:02:47,664 --> 01:02:49,564
Then I had this little feeling
that I just...

1180
01:02:49,566 --> 01:02:52,396
I had to do this
one little check,

1181
01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:55,538
so... I dialed his number...

1182
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:59,469
and when the machine came on,
I hit 1-2-3, right?

1183
01:02:59,476 --> 01:03:01,136
'Cause almost everyone I know

1184
01:03:01,144 --> 01:03:02,982
never changes the code
from the original

1185
01:03:02,983 --> 01:03:04,379
when you buy the fuckin' thing,

1186
01:03:04,381 --> 01:03:06,581
because who else is gonna check
your messages but you?

1187
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:08,783
And you.

1188
01:03:09,585 --> 01:03:11,015
And me.

1189
01:03:11,021 --> 01:03:13,889
But, I swear,
it's just a quick check.

1190
01:03:13,890 --> 01:03:15,190
Just a quick check.

1191
01:03:15,192 --> 01:03:17,026
Just to make sure
that his friends

1192
01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:18,457
aren't discussing me
as a conquest,

1193
01:03:18,462 --> 01:03:20,302
or his mother
isn't calling too much,

1194
01:03:20,303 --> 01:03:23,397
and then... it was Debbie.

1195
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:26,836
Three loving calls
from that Kopy slut. And...

1196
01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:31,137
I wish I'd just left it alone,
because ignorance is such bliss.

1197
01:03:31,841 --> 01:03:33,309
You said it, sister.

1198
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,040
Oh, my life sucks.

1199
01:03:35,045 --> 01:03:36,775
No, it doesn't.

1200
01:03:36,780 --> 01:03:38,848
Yeah, it does.

1201
01:03:41,984 --> 01:03:44,354
I miss Mommy's Little Whore.

1202
01:03:45,754 --> 01:03:48,424
No, you don't.
Yeah, I do.

1203
01:03:48,425 --> 01:03:51,085
You never cared about it.

1204
01:03:51,094 --> 01:03:52,794
Zoe...

1205
01:03:52,796 --> 01:03:55,026
I'm sorry, Mary.

1206
01:03:55,031 --> 01:03:56,831
I'm so sorry.

1207
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,268
Zoe...

1208
01:03:59,269 --> 01:04:01,539
Zoe.

1209
01:04:04,073 --> 01:04:06,208
Zoe?

1210
01:04:14,150 --> 01:04:15,250
Hello?

1211
01:04:15,252 --> 01:04:18,087
Hello?
Mrs. Schultz?

1212
01:04:18,088 --> 01:04:20,188
Have you scattered my Primo yet?

1213
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:22,390
Uh... well...

1214
01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:25,361
Good. Those fuckers
gave us the wrong ashes.

1215
01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:28,330
You've got
some dentist from Queens.

1216
01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:30,569
His son was here.
He's got Primo,

1217
01:04:30,570 --> 01:04:33,097
and he's gonna stop by
at your place this morning

1218
01:04:33,103 --> 01:04:35,171
to get his father.

1219
01:04:35,172 --> 01:04:36,972
What? When?

1220
01:04:36,973 --> 01:04:39,508
This morning. Are you deaf?

1221
01:04:39,509 --> 01:04:43,279
Well, does it really matter?
I mean, they're just ashes.

1222
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:46,250
I said the same thing,
but, you know, this guy...

1223
01:04:46,251 --> 01:04:48,549
Uh, can you hold on a minute?

1224
01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:53,122
What the hell is that?
Um... Hello.

1225
01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:54,893
Hello, this is Carl Bernstein.

1226
01:04:54,894 --> 01:04:57,927
I believe you have my father?

1227
01:04:57,928 --> 01:05:01,297
Um... does it really matter?

1228
01:05:01,298 --> 01:05:03,158
I mean, they're just ashes.

1229
01:05:03,166 --> 01:05:04,226
I don't think so, asshole!

1230
01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:05,934
Excuse me?

1231
01:05:05,936 --> 01:05:08,996
I'm on the FDR. I should
be there in about 20 minutes.

1232
01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:12,105
Yeah? Yeah,
you want some of this?!

1233
01:05:31,460 --> 01:05:32,190
Mary?

1234
01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:35,555
Oh, hey, Howard.
Hi.

1235
01:05:37,199 --> 01:05:40,369
Why are you vacuuming the dog run?
I'm not.

1236
01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:42,070
It's a dentist from Queens.

1237
01:05:42,072 --> 01:05:43,872
I thought it was Primo,
but it's not.

1238
01:05:43,873 --> 01:05:45,107
It's somebody's father,

1239
01:05:45,108 --> 01:05:46,608
whose son just called me
from the FDR,

1240
01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:48,880
and he sounds like
a fast driver, so I better go.

1241
01:05:54,216 --> 01:05:57,216
Hello.
Hello.

1242
01:05:57,220 --> 01:05:59,150
I just went out
for a pack of cigarettes

1243
01:05:59,155 --> 01:06:01,555
and I thought I'd bring
your father along.

1244
01:06:02,424 --> 01:06:04,793
Was he a smoker?
Here.

1245
01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:07,804
So good to have my Primo.

1246
01:06:08,764 --> 01:06:10,534
Whoops.

1247
01:06:12,868 --> 01:06:14,938
Goodbye.

1248
01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:18,268
Drive carefully.

1249
01:06:35,524 --> 01:06:37,359
Oh, God.

1250
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,296
Mary, it's Joey.
Give me a call.

1251
01:06:59,248 --> 01:07:02,678
Do you wanna
get a cup of coffee?

1252
01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:04,586
Yeah?

1253
01:07:15,064 --> 01:07:16,498
Oh, shit.

1254
01:07:16,499 --> 01:07:19,999
Do they really believe
that the whole body is in there?

1255
01:07:20,003 --> 01:07:24,473
I mean, the amount of ashes
in here, it seems like it's...

1256
01:07:25,007 --> 01:07:27,677
at most a burnt head.

1257
01:07:32,281 --> 01:07:35,451
Mary? Ma-Mary?

1258
01:07:36,952 --> 01:07:38,687
Oh...

1259
01:07:38,688 --> 01:07:42,288
Primo's little porno manuscript
is a book!

1260
01:07:42,292 --> 01:07:44,827
He's fucking published!

1261
01:07:44,828 --> 01:07:47,398
Hey, hey! Hey, ma'am.
What do you think you're doin'?

1262
01:07:47,399 --> 01:07:50,466
Ma'am?! What do I think
I'm doing?! This is trash.

1263
01:07:50,467 --> 01:07:52,197
Perhaps you've heard
of the First Amendment?

1264
01:07:52,202 --> 01:07:53,702
This is not
a First Amendment issue.

1265
01:07:53,703 --> 01:07:56,772
This is a bad-writing issue!
He was not that talented.

1266
01:07:56,773 --> 01:07:59,508
Otherwise,
I never would've dated him!

1267
01:07:59,509 --> 01:08:01,809
Oh... I think you guys
need to leave!

1268
01:08:01,811 --> 01:08:05,647
Pay for the ripped book in cash
and leave, please!

1269
01:08:05,648 --> 01:08:08,317
The books you have here
are very bad!

1270
01:08:08,318 --> 01:08:10,988
Uh. sorry. Yeah. Yeah,
I would imagine!

1271
01:08:10,989 --> 01:08:13,447
Are you gonna pay for that?
I'll, uh...

1272
01:08:13,456 --> 01:08:15,886
That's 6.99.
We don't take credit cards.

1273
01:08:15,892 --> 01:08:17,059
Uh...
I'm, uh...

1274
01:08:17,060 --> 01:08:18,360
It's seven.

1275
01:08:18,361 --> 01:08:20,231
And you knocked over my signs.

1276
01:08:20,232 --> 01:08:24,400
Norma, can you tell Sue that I
can't make it to rehearsal ever?

1277
01:08:24,401 --> 01:08:25,931
Yes, ever.
And if you want to know why,

1278
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,665
meet me at the Tomkins Square
Dog Park at noon.

1279
01:08:29,705 --> 01:08:32,065
Nice to talk to you, too.

1280
01:08:32,075 --> 01:08:35,005
Bonsoir to you, too.

1281
01:08:38,380 --> 01:08:39,450
Hey, this is Zoe.

1282
01:08:39,451 --> 01:08:41,449
Leave a message.

1283
01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:43,220
Zoe, if you get this
before noon,

1284
01:08:43,221 --> 01:08:44,849
it's time to send
our beloved Primo

1285
01:08:44,854 --> 01:08:48,424
into the winds
of Tomkins Square Park.

1286
01:08:50,426 --> 01:08:51,986
Mary, it's your mother.

1287
01:08:51,995 --> 01:08:54,525
I had the strangest
conversation yesterday.

1288
01:08:54,531 --> 01:08:58,066
Oh, Christ, I dropped
the phone. Anyway, I was

1289
01:08:58,067 --> 01:09:00,636
at the Greenwoods Mall,
which is much nicer these days,

1290
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:02,497
with the open-air thing
that they're doing now,

1291
01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:04,405
and they just put in
a Supercuts.

1292
01:09:18,821 --> 01:09:20,591
So I ran into Louise Marcetti.

1293
01:09:20,592 --> 01:09:22,620
You, of course,
would have no idea who that is,

1294
01:09:22,625 --> 01:09:24,855
because Marcetti
is her new husband's name.

1295
01:09:24,861 --> 01:09:26,730
By the way, I thought it was
so nice to hear

1296
01:09:26,731 --> 01:09:29,529
that a woman is still taking
her man's name,

1297
01:09:29,532 --> 01:09:31,032
not like you kids nowadays,

1298
01:09:31,034 --> 01:09:32,974
having to prove your
independence left and right,

1299
01:09:32,975 --> 01:09:36,169
which is...
it's just exhausting, Mary.

1300
01:09:39,007 --> 01:09:40,737
It actually wasn't
such a surprise

1301
01:09:40,743 --> 01:09:43,743
when I found out
she was remarried in 1979,

1302
01:09:43,746 --> 01:09:45,806
when women
still their heads on straight.

1303
01:09:45,815 --> 01:09:48,015
The thing is her name
before Marcetti was Lucas.

1304
01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:50,717
Louise Lucas,
Joey Lucas's wife, Mary.

1305
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,690
Now, she looked wonderful
and she seemed

1306
01:09:52,691 --> 01:09:55,919
to have all her faculties,
so imagine my surprise

1307
01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:58,855
when she tells me her Joey -
Joey Lucas, that is -

1308
01:09:58,862 --> 01:10:01,830
was killed
in a car accident in 1978.

1309
01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:04,101
You remember that ice storm
in January that year.

1310
01:10:04,102 --> 01:10:05,930
The poor thing went
into the median

1311
01:10:05,935 --> 01:10:08,465
on the Jersey Turnpike.
He was decapitated.

1312
01:10:08,471 --> 01:10:09,901
Now, I'm assuming the man

1313
01:10:09,906 --> 01:10:11,706
you've been having dinner with
for almost a year

1314
01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:13,978
does have a head, so it's
either a different Joey Lucas,

1315
01:10:15,577 --> 01:10:17,807
or a homicidal maniac, dear.

1316
01:10:17,814 --> 01:10:21,049
Okay, call me.

1317
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,250
Mary, it's Joey.

1318
01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:25,552
Please give me a call.

1319
01:10:32,995 --> 01:10:36,795
Hey, it's me. Leave a message.

1320
01:10:48,544 --> 01:10:50,913
Hey, it's me.
Leave a message.

1321
01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:53,714
You have two more
messages.

1322
01:10:53,716 --> 01:10:55,476
Hi, Nick. It's Janie.

1323
01:10:55,485 --> 01:10:58,185
Call me. Kiss-kiss.

1324
01:10:58,187 --> 01:11:00,887
Hey, McCrawley,
it's Jimmy. Call me!

1325
01:11:00,890 --> 01:11:02,720
I'm up to my ears in paperwork

1326
01:11:02,725 --> 01:11:04,855
and I wanna talk to you
about this claim.

1327
01:11:04,861 --> 01:11:08,961
I'm here all day, so call me, Nick.

1328
01:11:33,822 --> 01:11:36,922
Hey, it's me. Leave a message.

1329
01:11:36,926 --> 01:11:40,326
Hi, Joey.
Uh, I mean Nick.

1330
01:11:40,330 --> 01:11:43,298
I mean... Dad?

1331
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:46,869
It's your daughter... Mary.

1332
01:12:01,183 --> 01:12:02,551
Okay, everybody,

1333
01:12:02,552 --> 01:12:06,352
welcome to Wigstock 1999!

1334
01:12:07,789 --> 01:12:12,629
Put your hands together for
the lovely Schuyler Versailles.

1335
01:12:13,562 --> 01:12:16,632
Come on, girl,
let 'em have it! Whoo!

1336
01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:18,833
One of her nuts just popped out,

1337
01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:20,965
but that was a hot move.

1338
01:12:21,903 --> 01:12:25,340
Oh, there she is.
Hey, Mary! Hey.

1339
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:26,611
What the hell's goin' on?

1340
01:12:26,612 --> 01:12:28,609
My dad's in town.

1341
01:12:28,611 --> 01:12:30,781
Christ, Norma.
Did you give her something?

1342
01:12:30,782 --> 01:12:33,780
Fuck you, Sue. I haven't
done drugs in weeks.

1343
01:12:33,783 --> 01:12:35,721
I wanna reintroduce you
before I...

1344
01:12:35,722 --> 01:12:38,787
Mary, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God. Is that Primo?

1345
01:12:38,788 --> 01:12:41,058
Primo? Where?
Who the fuck are you?

1346
01:12:41,059 --> 01:12:43,157
Listen, you gotta believe me.
It just happened,

1347
01:12:43,159 --> 01:12:45,689
I swear to God.
He would flirt with me

1348
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:47,695
and he'd call me
when you were at work,

1349
01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:49,357
and... and it was
that fucking Primo.

1350
01:12:49,365 --> 01:12:51,395
He just gave me all this attention
and I couldn't get away from him.

1351
01:12:51,401 --> 01:12:54,141
But it was just sex.
I swear to God, it was only sex.

1352
01:12:54,142 --> 01:12:57,906
And then... we started
going on walks together and...

1353
01:12:57,907 --> 01:13:00,907
I didn't know what I was doing,
Mary. He was such a shit,

1354
01:13:00,910 --> 01:13:03,010
and I started to like him.
Then I met that fucker Howard

1355
01:13:03,012 --> 01:13:04,412
at the dog park
one day with Primo,

1356
01:13:04,414 --> 01:13:07,214
and I knew he'd tell you
about me, and I'm so sorry.

1357
01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:10,816
So you're Josie?
I thought her name was Zoe.

1358
01:13:10,820 --> 01:13:12,150
Howard couldn't
remember your name.

1359
01:13:12,155 --> 01:13:14,255
Wh-what the fuck's
goin' on here, huh?

1360
01:13:14,257 --> 01:13:16,757
Howard didn't tell you about me?
No.

1361
01:13:16,759 --> 01:13:18,629
So this morning
outside of your apartment,

1362
01:13:18,630 --> 01:13:20,358
he didn't...
Oh, shit.

1363
01:13:20,363 --> 01:13:23,001
You were fucking Primo
while I was living with him?!

1364
01:13:23,002 --> 01:13:24,568
Wait, wh-what is this? Hello?

1365
01:13:24,569 --> 01:13:26,027
Looks like I'm the only one here

1366
01:13:26,035 --> 01:13:27,765
who hasn't gotten me some Primo.

1367
01:13:27,770 --> 01:13:30,370
Marilyn.
Whoops. Sorry.

1368
01:13:30,373 --> 01:13:31,811
Wait, when the hell was this?

1369
01:13:31,812 --> 01:13:34,038
It's just a couple times...
at the beginning.

1370
01:13:34,043 --> 01:13:36,812
Are you fucking kidding me?
You told me to marry him!

1371
01:13:36,813 --> 01:13:39,083
I didn't tell you to fuck him!
He came on to me.

1372
01:13:39,084 --> 01:13:40,852
Ask her.
She knows what it's like.

1373
01:13:40,853 --> 01:13:43,950
Shit, I thought
he married an Asian stripper.

1374
01:13:43,953 --> 01:13:46,453
What did you fucking say?
Who are these people?

1375
01:13:46,456 --> 01:13:48,656
Mary's in our band.

1376
01:13:48,658 --> 01:13:50,318
You're in a band?

1377
01:13:52,594 --> 01:13:54,963
Oh, my...
God, you're in a band?!

1378
01:13:54,964 --> 01:13:57,632
Wait, did...
did you date Primo?

1379
01:13:57,633 --> 01:13:59,201
Yes.
Yeah.

1380
01:13:59,202 --> 01:14:01,572
And you're the Asian stripper.
There you are.

1381
01:14:01,573 --> 01:14:02,901
Say that one more fucking time,

1382
01:14:02,905 --> 01:14:04,505
I'ma fucking...
Did I miss the ash blow?

1383
01:14:04,507 --> 01:14:06,167
This Sue Watt.

1384
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:09,375
- Sue Watt?
- And you're in her band.

1385
01:14:09,378 --> 01:14:12,078
Who is this?
Sue... Watt.

1386
01:14:12,081 --> 01:14:15,550
Who the fuck is this woman?
It has been quite a while,

1387
01:14:15,551 --> 01:14:21,361
but I have been meaning to say
something to you, Sue Twat!

1388
01:14:22,124 --> 01:14:23,258
Oh, shit.

1389
01:14:23,259 --> 01:14:24,959
What the fuck is going on here?!

1390
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:27,129
Primo était le mien.
Fuck!

1391
01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:29,060
And, uh, tu l'as vraiment volé!

1392
01:14:29,065 --> 01:14:31,725
He was mine and you took him.
You took him for you,

1393
01:14:31,734 --> 01:14:33,834
took him like, uh, you take a...

1394
01:14:33,836 --> 01:14:36,096
Like you take a dump.
Oui.

1395
01:14:37,639 --> 01:14:39,439
Is this Primo?

1396
01:14:39,442 --> 01:14:41,442
You do not touch him!

1397
01:14:41,444 --> 01:14:47,716
Today, Primo belongs
to no one... but the earth...

1398
01:14:47,717 --> 01:14:51,647
and the sky and the wind.

1399
01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:54,089
This is such a lovely tribute.

1400
01:14:54,090 --> 01:14:57,959
So many beautiful
dancing trannies

1401
01:14:57,960 --> 01:15:00,660
and colorful wigs and balloons.

1402
01:15:00,663 --> 01:15:03,698
So did everybody here
sleep with Primo?

1403
01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:07,199
Huh. My goodness.

1404
01:15:07,203 --> 01:15:10,473
Wait, Mary.
What about the ash blow?

1405
01:15:11,473 --> 01:15:12,808
Allôo?

1406
01:15:12,809 --> 01:15:15,277
Mary, please.
Mary, please,

1407
01:15:15,278 --> 01:15:16,908
there's one more thing
I have to tell you.

1408
01:15:16,913 --> 01:15:19,083
I killed Primo!

1409
01:15:21,983 --> 01:15:25,353
It was... it was the last time
I was with him.

1410
01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:27,022
Primo!

1411
01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:30,223
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Oh, great.

1412
01:15:31,660 --> 01:15:33,890
It's coming!

1413
01:15:33,896 --> 01:15:36,696
Oh!!

1414
01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:38,869
Ah...

1415
01:15:42,571 --> 01:15:46,411
And he just stopped.
I didn't know what to do.

1416
01:15:47,709 --> 01:15:49,609
Primo.

1417
01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:55,515
Ooh, shit.

1418
01:15:59,821 --> 01:16:01,459
I thought
he would look more real

1419
01:16:01,460 --> 01:16:04,017
if it was in front of the TV,
but nothing looked real,

1420
01:16:04,026 --> 01:16:06,286
so then I figured
if I added some music to that,

1421
01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:10,095
it would look like some crazy,
over-stimulated heart attack.

1422
01:16:10,099 --> 01:16:12,729
I never killed anyone before.

1423
01:16:12,735 --> 01:16:16,335
I'm so sorry.
I wanted to tell you.

1424
01:16:23,945 --> 01:16:26,005
You know, I forgot about you.

1425
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:27,505
I know you did.

1426
01:16:27,516 --> 01:16:31,246
No, I didn't forget about you
in my life. I never knew you

1427
01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:33,654
to forget about you.

1428
01:16:33,656 --> 01:16:35,116
I forgot about you today.

1429
01:16:35,124 --> 01:16:37,794
I forgot the man I've been
having dinner with for a year...

1430
01:16:37,795 --> 01:16:39,493
Mary.
Who I was about

1431
01:16:39,495 --> 01:16:41,855
to break up with...
Mary.

1432
01:16:41,864 --> 01:16:45,467
Is actually my father.
I was just... I was...

1433
01:16:45,468 --> 01:16:47,228
I forgot. That's the day
I've been having.

1434
01:16:47,236 --> 01:16:49,896
You have to listen to me.
I don't want to.

1435
01:16:49,906 --> 01:16:51,966
I wasn't ready.

1436
01:16:51,974 --> 01:16:54,809
I was... not ready,

1437
01:16:54,810 --> 01:16:57,110
for your mother or... you.

1438
01:16:57,113 --> 01:17:01,149
I was 18 when she got pregnant
and I-I guess I was just...

1439
01:17:01,150 --> 01:17:02,280
Gutless?

1440
01:17:02,285 --> 01:17:05,915
Well, I was gonna say
very young, but...

1441
01:17:39,220 --> 01:17:40,420
Hey.

1442
01:17:43,024 --> 01:17:46,094
Uh...
do you wanna come in?

1443
01:17:46,095 --> 01:17:48,855
Why didn't you tell me?

1444
01:17:48,864 --> 01:17:50,932
You have really nice taste.

1445
01:17:50,933 --> 01:17:53,168
Thank you.

1446
01:17:53,169 --> 01:17:55,399
Why didn't you tell me
about Zoe?

1447
01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,204
I didn't know.

1448
01:17:57,206 --> 01:18:00,136
Not until after I saw her
with you last night,

1449
01:18:00,142 --> 01:18:02,212
and then...
after that, I just...

1450
01:18:02,213 --> 01:18:05,111
I didn't wanna be
the guy that...

1451
01:18:05,114 --> 01:18:08,654
told you that your best friend
slept with your boyfriend.

1452
01:18:10,352 --> 01:18:14,662
It just d-didn't seem
like a great way to start.

1453
01:18:51,726 --> 01:18:54,226
Howard?
Yeah?

1454
01:18:55,030 --> 01:18:58,130
I'm having
a really fucked-up day.

1455
01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:04,201
Oh, okay. Um...
do you not want me to...

1456
01:19:12,013 --> 01:19:14,313
Mm...

1457
01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:16,976
♪ Try

1458
01:19:16,986 --> 01:19:21,686
♪ Just try me one time

1459
01:19:21,690 --> 01:19:23,090
♪ Mm...

1460
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:26,828
♪ If your love
should leave you ♪

1461
01:19:26,829 --> 01:19:30,899
♪ And you're all alone

1462
01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:34,836
♪ Don't worry, don't worry

1463
01:19:34,837 --> 01:19:38,406
♪ Just pick up the phone

1464
01:19:38,407 --> 01:19:42,237
♪ I promise that
I'll be there ♪

1465
01:19:42,244 --> 01:19:46,281
♪ Whenever you wish
to call... ♪

1466
01:19:46,282 --> 01:19:49,951
For any of you
who wanna try this at home,

1467
01:19:49,952 --> 01:19:51,452
let this be a warning.

1468
01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:53,592
If your father leaves you
when you're a year old,

1469
01:19:53,593 --> 01:19:56,619
and then comes back as an
imposter for almost a year,

1470
01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:58,225
and you just happen
to have the remains

1471
01:19:58,227 --> 01:20:00,027
of your cheating
boyfriend available

1472
01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:01,829
to crack your newfound
parent's skull,

1473
01:20:01,831 --> 01:20:04,671
although you would think there's
a mountain of just cause,

1474
01:20:04,672 --> 01:20:08,236
they nevertheless will still
arrest you for assault.

1475
01:20:08,237 --> 01:20:11,367
The good news is,
hookers not only dish out

1476
01:20:11,373 --> 01:20:13,511
surprisingly helpful
relationship advice,

1477
01:20:13,512 --> 01:20:15,779
but they also reward you
with a standing ovation

1478
01:20:15,780 --> 01:20:19,248
if you're bailed out
by a cute male friend.

1479
01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:22,315
The bad news is, you may become

1480
01:20:22,318 --> 01:20:26,118
one of those freaky
New York celebrities.

1481
01:20:26,122 --> 01:20:30,492
♪ I will hold you
so close to me ♪

1482
01:20:30,493 --> 01:20:34,362
♪ I'll love you so tenderly

1483
01:20:34,363 --> 01:20:37,932
♪ Just try,
please try me one time ♪

1484
01:20:37,933 --> 01:20:40,001
Hi.
Hi.

1485
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:43,202
Here's my short story.
It's about Primo.

1486
01:20:43,205 --> 01:20:45,535
Oh, great!

1487
01:20:47,342 --> 01:20:49,142
Two hundred pages.

1488
01:20:49,145 --> 01:20:51,675
Yes, it is.

1489
01:20:54,449 --> 01:20:57,719
Uh, you wanna come inside?
I have to go. Maybe later.

1490
01:20:57,720 --> 01:20:59,690
Okay.

1491
01:21:01,656 --> 01:21:04,056
It's remarkable
how an incredibly

1492
01:21:04,059 --> 01:21:06,689
brilliant, sexy, alive man
could be standing in front

1493
01:21:06,695 --> 01:21:10,525
of you for so long
and you just don't know it.

1494
01:21:10,533 --> 01:21:14,536
And even more remarkable
is how particularly unflirtable

1495
01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:17,067
a person can all
of a sudden appear

1496
01:21:17,072 --> 01:21:19,512
when they turn out
to be your father.

1497
01:21:19,513 --> 01:21:21,708
Joey Lucas had a bigger nose.

1498
01:21:22,844 --> 01:21:24,614
I know.

1499
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:28,820
Mom threw away
all the pictures of you.

1500
01:21:29,951 --> 01:21:33,751
I always sent you money.
Did your mother tell you that?

1501
01:21:38,059 --> 01:21:40,329
Can you blame her?

1502
01:21:42,130 --> 01:21:44,230
No.

1503
01:21:47,535 --> 01:21:49,235
Are you gonna press charges?

1504
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:52,208
Ow.

1505
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:54,576
Maybe.

1506
01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,307
When my mother got wind
of all the events of that day,

1507
01:21:57,313 --> 01:21:59,413
and who Joey Lucas
turned out to be,

1508
01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:02,145
"How did he look?"

1509
01:22:02,151 --> 01:22:04,421
I told her that,
like the rest of us,

1510
01:22:04,422 --> 01:22:06,820
he looked a lot better
before Primo got a hold of him.

1511
01:22:06,822 --> 01:22:09,857
Nevertheless,
I insisted that the father

1512
01:22:09,858 --> 01:22:12,527
formerly known as Joey Lucas
up the ante

1513
01:22:12,528 --> 01:22:15,858
to even nicer restaurants
at least once a week.

1514
01:22:15,864 --> 01:22:19,234
Howard and I, along
with the rest of the world,

1515
01:22:19,235 --> 01:22:22,895
heroically survived Y2K.

1516
01:22:22,905 --> 01:22:25,635
And now, together,
we are ready to face

1517
01:22:25,641 --> 01:22:29,341
a simpler, new millennium...
despite the fact

1518
01:22:29,345 --> 01:22:34,075
that I've begun to smell
like a Golden Retriever.

1519
01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:37,183
Sadly, I didn't end up winning
the Scholastic writing contest,

1520
01:22:37,186 --> 01:22:40,516
and, more importantly,
the five grand.

1521
01:22:42,457 --> 01:22:44,317
But I did finally
figure out a way

1522
01:22:44,326 --> 01:22:48,256
to get Howard to move on
to a new song.

1523
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:54,427
And my newfound
New York Post celebrity status

1524
01:22:54,436 --> 01:22:56,796
landed me a variety
of writing jobs.

1525
01:22:56,805 --> 01:23:00,505
Eventually my Primo story
ended up in the New York Times.

1526
01:23:00,509 --> 01:23:03,278
And after much debate
and about 300 voicemails

1527
01:23:03,279 --> 01:23:04,809
from the apartment-searching
creeps

1528
01:23:04,813 --> 01:23:07,613
who obviously love
a good tabloid story,

1529
01:23:07,616 --> 01:23:09,976
I finally acquired
a new roommate.

1530
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:11,585
Actually, two.

1531
01:23:11,587 --> 01:23:13,417
Sue had read about me
in the Post

1532
01:23:13,422 --> 01:23:15,362
and called immediately
with the sentence:

1533
01:23:15,363 --> 01:23:18,687
No wonder
you're so fucked up.

1534
01:23:19,627 --> 01:23:21,027
Mmm.

1535
01:23:21,030 --> 01:23:25,700
Hello, hello. Alright, mwah.
See you in a bit.

1536
01:23:27,268 --> 01:23:28,838
How we doin', guy?
Good.

1537
01:23:28,839 --> 01:23:30,567
Good.
You two gonna be okay?

1538
01:23:30,572 --> 01:23:32,707
What, we gonna be okay?
Yes.

1539
01:23:32,708 --> 01:23:34,838
Yes, we're gonna be just fine.

1540
01:23:37,146 --> 01:23:40,676
We are Beautiful Cock!

1541
01:23:41,716 --> 01:23:44,986
♪ You're the one
most likely to succeed ♪

1542
01:23:46,854 --> 01:23:48,961
♪ Just be sure
to keep your head ♪

1543
01:23:48,962 --> 01:23:51,726
♪ 'Cause girl you know
that's all you need ♪

1544
01:23:51,727 --> 01:23:54,457
♪ Everyone around you
adores you ♪

1545
01:23:54,463 --> 01:23:57,332
♪ Don't give up the world
is waitin' for you ♪

1546
01:23:57,333 --> 01:23:59,833
♪ Love is all around,
no need to waste it ♪

1547
01:23:59,835 --> 01:24:02,595
♪ You can have the town,
why don't you take it ♪

1548
01:24:02,604 --> 01:24:06,140
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

1549
01:24:06,141 --> 01:24:09,077
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

1550
01:24:09,078 --> 01:24:10,908
And as for Primo,

1551
01:24:10,913 --> 01:24:16,183
it took us exactly 4 months,
12 days and about 500 beers,

1552
01:24:16,185 --> 01:24:18,915
but we knew
it was bound to happen.

1553
01:24:18,921 --> 01:24:21,559
Like the 20th century
now officially behind us,

1554
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:23,557
things just
couldn't last forever.

1555
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,128
And on one fateful night,

1556
01:24:25,129 --> 01:24:28,257
following hours and hours
of senseless conversation,

1557
01:24:28,263 --> 01:24:30,832
Primo's name...
just never came up.

1558
01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:32,773
♪ You can have the town,
why don't you take it ♪

1559
01:24:32,774 --> 01:24:35,768
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

1560
01:24:35,771 --> 01:24:38,339
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

1561
01:24:38,340 --> 01:24:42,710
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

1562
01:24:54,322 --> 01:24:58,926
♪ I... I've got a story
I'd like to tell ♪

1563
01:24:58,927 --> 01:25:02,997
♪ It's in pieces
for right now ♪

1564
01:25:02,998 --> 01:25:07,268
♪ But it'll come
together soon ♪

1565
01:25:07,269 --> 01:25:13,739
♪ If you want a new one faxed

1566
01:25:15,243 --> 01:25:20,081
♪ I've been in love with you
for quite some time ♪

1567
01:25:20,082 --> 01:25:25,552
♪ Stands still for me
each and every day after day ♪

1568
01:25:25,554 --> 01:25:29,390
♪ I'm constantly amazed,
I'm amazed ♪

1569
01:25:29,391 --> 01:25:32,427
♪ That I get to be with you

1570
01:25:32,428 --> 01:25:38,728
♪ Oh I get to be
with you all alone ♪

1571
01:26:01,923 --> 01:26:06,727
♪ I... I've got a story
I'd like to tell ♪

1572
01:26:06,728 --> 01:26:10,858
♪ It's in pieces
for right now ♪

1573
01:26:10,866 --> 01:26:14,866
♪ But it'll come
together soon ♪

1574
01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:19,840
♪ If you want a new one faxed

1575
01:26:19,842 --> 01:26:24,242
♪ If you want
a new one faxed ♪

1576
01:26:24,246 --> 01:26:28,276
♪ Yeah a new one faxed

1577
01:26:28,283 --> 01:26:31,619
♪ Oh a new one faxed

1578
01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:35,556
♪ Ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪

1579
01:26:35,557 --> 01:26:40,287
♪ Ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪

1580
01:26:40,295 --> 01:26:43,755
♪ Ooh ooh ooh

1581
01:26:48,504 --> 01:26:51,772
♪ I feel so lonely
standing here ♪

1582
01:26:51,773 --> 01:26:54,773
♪ No one to root for
and plum out of cheers ♪

1583
01:26:54,776 --> 01:27:00,646
♪ The bleachers are empty,
nobody here to tempt me ♪

1584
01:27:01,782 --> 01:27:04,890
♪ What I could use right now
is a good massage ♪

1585
01:27:04,891 --> 01:27:07,487
♪ Or a piggyback ride
or a nice hot bath ♪

1586
01:27:07,489 --> 01:27:11,626
♪ There's no cure for extinction
no one to pay attention ♪

1587
01:27:11,627 --> 01:27:15,797
♪ No gossip no invention

1588
01:27:16,330 --> 01:27:18,666
Oh. Oh.

1589
01:27:18,667 --> 01:27:21,327
Oh, but you're here for me,
aren't you, boys?

1590
01:27:23,272 --> 01:27:25,006
Ha!

1591
01:27:25,007 --> 01:27:26,437
Hey.

1592
01:27:28,343 --> 01:27:31,979
♪ I tied a rope to my waist
and around this town ♪

1593
01:27:31,980 --> 01:27:34,810
♪ Rounded the earth
its massive girth and found ♪

1594
01:27:34,816 --> 01:27:36,646
♪ A letter of living

1595
01:27:36,652 --> 01:27:40,021
♪ I recognized my writing

1596
01:27:40,022 --> 01:27:43,360
♪ Bunny rabbits teddy bears
martinis and a funny noise ♪

1597
01:27:43,361 --> 01:27:46,488
♪ I wanna cuddle with Bonnie
and all those boys ♪

1598
01:27:46,495 --> 01:27:49,825
♪ Lightning rod tie-up
in a rainstorm ♪

1599
01:27:49,831 --> 01:27:53,831
♪ And honk
my little bike horn ♪

1600
01:28:03,277 --> 01:28:04,977
Ho!

1601
01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:06,080
Ha.

1602
01:28:08,750 --> 01:28:12,150
♪ I love to go shopping
for days on end ♪

1603
01:28:12,154 --> 01:28:15,089
♪ For decor liquor
and patent pen ♪

1604
01:28:15,090 --> 01:28:18,690
♪ The walk I've developed
while toting an umbrella ♪

1605
01:28:18,694 --> 01:28:21,963
♪ A very little fella

1606
01:28:21,964 --> 01:28:25,333
♪ I could scream I could cry
I could laugh and pout ♪

1607
01:28:25,334 --> 01:28:28,234
♪ Rubber ducky don't talk back
I'll drown you out ♪

1608
01:28:28,236 --> 01:28:32,236
♪ Immerse you in bubbles
to play with my pee-pee ♪

1609
01:28:32,240 --> 01:28:35,840
♪ Like my poodle Viti

1610
01:28:37,478 --> 01:28:39,278
Oh.

1611
01:28:42,017 --> 01:28:45,417
♪ Give me horseback rides
and you can feed me hay ♪

1612
01:28:45,420 --> 01:28:48,756
♪ I wanna crank Liberace and
dance all day ♪

1613
01:28:48,757 --> 01:28:53,857
♪ Burn the spaghetti
and throw around confetti ♪

1614
01:28:53,862 --> 01:28:56,862
♪ Give me a dozen of those

1615
01:28:56,865 --> 01:28:59,865
♪ Give me a case of these

1616
01:28:59,868 --> 01:29:02,436
♪ Oh where are my manners

1617
01:29:02,437 --> 01:29:04,467
♪ I forgot to say please

1618
01:29:04,473 --> 01:29:07,642
♪ Say please, say please

1619
01:29:07,643 --> 01:29:09,743
♪ Say

1620
01:29:09,745 --> 01:29:14,645
♪ Please