0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,652 [ALARM RINGING] 2 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,455 [SIGHS] 3 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,999 [IMITATING DARTH VADER'S BREATHING] 4 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,001 Give me your press badge. 5 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,212 No way, you're not my dad! 6 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,798 Then I shall take it by force. 7 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,758 Oh, he's my brother! 8 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,718 Then you shouldn't have made out with him. 9 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,639 [GROANS] 10 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,897 [IMITATING DRUMMING] 11 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,905 [SEAGULLS CAWING OVER SPEAKERS] 12 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,580 [SIGHS] 13 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,673 [HORNS HONKING] 14 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,228 GULLIVER: So, your name's Dan? 15 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:12,232 Yeah, Dan... Dan Quint. Like on the resume. 16 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,903 Dan Quint. Born 1990. I didn't think that was possible. 17 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,362 Yeah, 1990. 18 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,281 People are born every year. 19 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:24,036 What do you hope to get out of being in the mailroom, Dan? 20 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,247 I guess I hope to get out of being in the mailroom. 21 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,667 You got sass. I like it. 22 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,878 Guess what? You're hired. 23 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,632 I'm Lemuel Gulliver. Welcome to the team. 24 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:37,799 I was hired... 25 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:39,927 yesterday by HR. 26 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,887 Doggy wants a bone. What? 27 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,764 Doggy wants a bone. 28 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,309 Floor 30. This is the editors' floor. 29 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,561 Oh, yeah. This is the epicenter, my friend. 30 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,313 Feel it. Feel it. Okay. 31 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,981 Oh. Got a little something for you. 32 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,108 Aah! God dang it! Sorry about that. 33 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,486 I will dry-clean that. Sorry about that. My bad. 34 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,781 Just wait out here. What? 35 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,491 One second. 36 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:05,994 Here's your mail, sir. 37 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,913 Hey, you're Harold Jones, right? 38 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,623 Yeah. 39 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,959 I loved your piece on the failure of derivative markets. 40 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,335 [WHISTLING] 41 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,170 Thanks. I look forward to seeing you around. 42 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,672 DAN: Thank you... 43 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,466 from me and all the readers. 44 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,634 [CLEARS THROAT] 45 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,345 Dan, what are you doing? You can't talk to those guys! 46 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,554 Why not? 47 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,057 Okay, this is your first day. We are the mailroom guys. 48 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,810 Mailroom guys are meant to be seen and not heard. 49 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,853 And ideally, not even seen, okay? 50 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,814 We're not on their level. We're little people. 51 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,857 No, I think you're just scared to talk to them. 52 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:39,569 I am not! Dude, listen. I am just respectful of their workspace. 53 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,155 I talk to these people all the... 54 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,415 I'll let you know as soon as I've made a decision, Nigel. 55 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:54,042 [IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Okey-dokey, thank you. Good day, fellas. 56 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,794 Good day. Good day, mate. 57 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,713 Gulliver, got any mail for me? 58 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,798 Yeah... Uh, no... Maybe. 59 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,008 Let me check. 60 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,302 Hi, I'm Dan, from the mailroom. Hey. Darcy. 61 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,846 And I'll do whatever it takes to not be from the mailroom. 62 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,014 [GULLIVER LAUGHING] 63 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,599 Dan doesn't need to be bothering her right now. She's busy. 64 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:10,642 He isn't bothering me. 65 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,519 I love to have a reason to procrastinate. 66 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,062 Yeah, me, too. 67 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,024 You're not bugging me. There you go. 68 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,692 Well, I'll see you guys later. 69 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,277 Good to see you. Okay. 70 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,362 Oh, boy. Let's go. 71 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,951 So, how long have you had this debilitating crush on the travel editor? 72 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,203 Crush? On Darcy? No way, dude. 73 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,830 First of all, you're a terrible liar. 74 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,915 Second of all, why don't you just ask her out? 75 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,043 You don't think I could ask her out? No. 76 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,587 I could ask her out whenever, wherever. It's no problem. 77 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,715 It would take me five seconds. "Will you go out with me?" "Yes." Done. 78 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,676 I'm now going out with Darcy Silverman. We are boyfriend and girlfriend. 79 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,595 "Gulliver and Darcy?" "Cutest couple ever." 80 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,389 Okay. So, then, do it. 81 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,767 Pfft. Next time I see her, I will. 82 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,685 DARCY: Hold on! Hi, again. 83 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,479 Hey, Darcy. 84 00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:59,066 I just remembered, I get claustrophobic in elevators. 85 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,575 How is your day going? Really good. 86 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,951 Just really, really, good. 87 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,454 What are you doing this weekend? So much stuff. 88 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,374 It's just going to be... a bunch of stuff. 89 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,626 Cool. Yeah, it's cool. 90 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,466 Have a good one. You, too. 91 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,967 [CLEARS THROAT] 92 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,303 [MOUTHING] 93 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,890 Wait! I forgot something. 94 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,725 Yeah, me, too. 95 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,854 [KISS' "ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE" PLAYING] 96 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,153 [ON VIDEO GAME] You show us everything you've got 97 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,446 You keep on dancin'... 98 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:47,489 So? 99 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,242 Yeah? 100 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,618 Yeah! 101 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,161 You chickened out, didn't you? 102 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,958 I wasn't... I just... You know... I didn't chicken out. 103 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,335 Being respectful of her workspace. Exactly. 104 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,253 Dude. 105 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,004 Speaking of which, after work... 106 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:06,341 do you want to go for a couple of brews and shoot some poos? 107 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,009 Maybe a little man-date. 108 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,346 I don't think so. Especially because you called it a man-date. 109 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,140 I got you. You want a rain check. 110 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:16,643 You want to wake up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the boss. 111 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,187 You're not my boss anymore. 112 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,522 What are you talking about? 113 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,774 I just got promoted. 114 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,194 That's impossible. You just got here. 115 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,030 Yeah, they promoted me... 116 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,158 to head of the mailroom. 117 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,826 So I'm your boss now. 118 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:40,333 Look, Gulliver, the reason you didn't ask her out and you never will... 119 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,336 is the same reason that you're not going to leave the mailroom. 120 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:46,131 You've been here 10 years, man. 121 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,552 You peaked. 122 00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:54,890 You talk a big game and that can be fun sometimes. 123 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:58,810 And you're pretty funny around the office, but that's all you are. 124 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,228 It's just talk. 125 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,063 So you might as well face it... 126 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,691 you're never really going to get any bigger than this. 127 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,236 [DAN SIGHS] 128 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:12,282 These talks. This is the worst part about being a boss. 129 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,243 Anyway, be in tomorrow at 7:00. 130 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,204 We're going to sort of change things up... 131 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:20,790 and we're gonna start with getting rid of "Guitar Hero" during work hours. 132 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,761 MAN: Night, Darcy. 133 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,013 See you. 134 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:50,946 Gulliver? 135 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,451 Hi. 136 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,619 Can I help you? 137 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,788 Yeah, I... 138 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,917 I wanted to see... 139 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,795 if you wanted to... 140 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,759 You seem a little nervous. Are you all right? 141 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,135 No, I'm fine. I'm just... 142 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,470 [CLEARS THROAT] 143 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,763 I got so much going on. 144 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,807 I wanted to pick this up, and then I'm on my way. 145 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,393 You want to apply for a travel writing assignment? 146 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,477 Hm? 147 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,106 Yeah. Exactly. 148 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,775 I had no idea you wrote or traveled. 149 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,861 I do. I travel a lot. I go to New Zealand. 150 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:35,323 Been to Mexico. Méjico, they call it... 151 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,825 in the locals. 152 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,493 Africa, the Congo. 153 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:42,163 Which I know is in Africa because I travel and write. 154 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,333 So this is kind of what I want to do. 155 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,753 Why don't you bring in a writing sample tomorrow and I'll see what I can do. 156 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,797 Perfect. 157 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,675 Okay. Okay. Ahem. 158 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,177 Hey, Gulliver. Hm? 159 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,513 Nice job putting yourself out there. 160 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,391 Yeah. Cool. Okay, bye-bye. 161 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,851 Bye-bye. 162 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,772 [HORNS HONKING] 163 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,536 GULLIVER: I should've just manned up and asked her out. 164 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,164 Now she's expecting a writing sample? What was I thinking? 165 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:27,667 [SINGING] I saw some things In different lands 166 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,885 Karate chop... I gotta write this thing! 167 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,305 No, I got nothing. 168 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,294 Wow. 169 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,088 I am so impressed, Gulliver. 170 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,590 I had no idea you were such a good writer. 171 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:20,428 I kind of keep it secret. I don't like to brag about my more literarian side. 172 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:21,680 These samples are terrific. 173 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,265 And you exhibit such variety. 174 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:28,269 This one about Oaxaca feels really classic, like it came straight out of Frommer's... 175 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,606 whereas the description of Barcelona is all... 176 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,108 sassy. 177 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,943 It's like I'm reading Time Out. 178 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,237 Mm-hm. Yeah. 179 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,281 I think I have the perfect fluff piece to start you off with. 180 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:43,702 There's a guy down in Bermuda who claims he has the secret to the Bermuda Triangle. 181 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,705 He's either crazy or he's trying to bilk tourists. But I figure... 182 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,957 it could be a fun way in... 183 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,960 to explore Bermuda and the smaller islands around it. 184 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,795 You do have boat experience, don't you? 185 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,424 I'm a... boat... man. 186 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,633 I'm a boatman. 187 00:11:58,801 --> 00:11:59,968 Okay, good... 188 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,471 because I have to be honest, it was hard to find someone to do this. 189 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,558 You have to be at sea for three weeks, completely off the grid. 190 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,017 That's okay with you, right? Mm. 191 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,310 Good, because I thought... 192 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:12,981 I was going to have to do it and I get super seasick. It's crazy. 193 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,275 So, what do you say? 194 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,653 It's not a big story, but it's a start. 195 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,989 Mm-hm. 196 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,492 So, the Bermuda Triangle, huh? 197 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,077 Everything I need to know is in here? 198 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,496 It is. Your contact's been arranged... 199 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,665 and there's a boat waiting for you. 200 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,333 Yeah. 201 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,013 [WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA] 202 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,478 GULLIVER: Oh, hey! 203 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,520 That's me! 204 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:56,983 GULLIVER: Okay, precious cargo! No, no, no! 205 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,610 Whew. That was close. 206 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,614 All you chickens, get out of the road, man! 207 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,784 GULLIVER: I don't know about this, Hank. 208 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,286 I mean, are you sure this is safe? 209 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,414 HANK: All this Bermuda Triangle talk is just to sell T-shirts to tourists. 210 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,707 It makes for good stories... 211 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:16,044 if you want to skeet-skeet with the girls on the mainland. 212 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,629 This is your boat. 213 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,547 Ah. Knotfersail. 214 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,466 They really went pun-tastic on that boat. 215 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,301 The dock master's really into puns. 216 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,054 He believes it keeps the pirates away. 217 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,515 Ship Happens. 218 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,142 HANK: This is you, and the dot is your destination. 219 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,062 You just follow that dot, and you'll find yourself in a triangle. 220 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,563 In the Bermuda Triangle? Yeah. 221 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,816 And then to come home, you say I turn this knob... 222 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,400 and I follow the dot back home? 223 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,527 Yeah. 224 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:41,903 Easy. Easy. 225 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,196 Done. Done. 226 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,864 I've got it. 227 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,118 I am fine. 228 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,079 Fine. 229 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:56,042 It's not moving. Okay, where's the clutch? 230 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,086 Cruising in my car one day 231 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,255 Minding my business on my way 232 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,422 Oh, mama 233 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,467 GULLIVER: And as you go out to the ocean water... 234 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,262 towards the Bermuda Triangle... 235 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:11,182 there's reflections everywhere. I should've brought some sunglasses. 236 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,893 I am as hungry as a horse. 237 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,895 I could eat 1,000 cheeseburgers. 238 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,272 Okay. 239 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,607 Quitting time. 240 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,776 She didn't really mean to hurt me 241 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,611 She didn't really mean to make me cry 242 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:24,779 Yeah. 243 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,073 But if you really want to go that way 244 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,117 How to build your own robot? 245 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,535 Yeah, that's going to happen. 246 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,079 She didn't really mean to make me cry 247 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,456 I met this girl in a club one night 248 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,959 She was riding off like dynamite 249 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,921 Oh, mama 250 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,383 After night was closing in 251 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,135 We started... 252 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,304 [BUZZING AND BEEPING] 253 00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,810 Darcy. 254 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,146 [SNORING] 255 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,814 Cheeseburger. 256 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,734 Darcy. 257 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,905 Cheeseburger. 258 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,077 [GRUNTS] 259 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,289 [GROANS] 260 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,334 Huh? 261 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,838 [YELLS] 262 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:31,471 No! 263 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:34,515 [SCREAMS] 264 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,690 Safety! Okay. 265 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,359 Rubber ducky. 266 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:45,360 No! 267 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,153 Floaties! Floatie one. 268 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,988 Floatie leg, floatie left... 269 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,198 floatie right, floatie head. 270 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,283 I am safe! 271 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:53,785 There is no... 272 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:54,869 [GRUNTING] 273 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,625 9-1-1. 274 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:01,376 [BEEPS] 275 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,669 Oh, no. 276 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,381 [SCREAMS] 277 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,100 Oh, God, help me! 278 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,187 [SCREAMING] 279 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,239 [SEAGULLS CAWING] 280 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,700 [GULLIVER GRUNTING] 281 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,578 GULLIVER: I'm paralyzed from the neck down. 282 00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,872 What's that crawling on me? 283 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,418 Not fire ants. Please don't be fire ants. 284 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:49,090 I am General Edward Edwardian, Commander of Lilliput. 285 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,591 [OVER BULLHORN] All hail Lilliput! 286 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,260 SOLDIERS: All hail Lilliput! 287 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:56,764 EDWARD: You are herewith charged with aiding our sworn enemy, the Blefuscians. 288 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:57,932 [SOLDIERS BOO] 289 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,103 You are my prisoner, and shall be presented to our Royal Highness, King Theodore. 290 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,771 What say you... 291 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,189 beast? 292 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:07,859 [GULLIVER SCREAMS] 293 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,027 [SOLDIERS YELLING] 294 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:16,784 [SCREAMING] 295 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:23,791 [SCREAMS] 296 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,380 You are not real! Where is my...? 297 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,548 Where am I? 298 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,632 This must be a dream. 299 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,636 I'm gonna close my eyes, then I'm gonna open them, and I'll be home in bed. 300 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,306 Okay! Okay! 301 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:40,892 My spear! 302 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:44,562 Ow! 303 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,481 Bring the beast down! 304 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,941 All right, boys! Release the hookers. 305 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,235 Pull, pull! 306 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,738 Hey! Aah! 307 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,655 Pull! 308 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,324 GULLIVER: Hey, not cool. 309 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,618 Hey, that's my pants. That's not funny! 310 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,119 Aah! 311 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:01,496 [SCREAMS] 312 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,251 Unlucky. 313 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,337 [SOLDIERS YELL] 314 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,847 MAN 1: Heave! 315 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,477 Heave! 316 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,854 MAN 2: It was awful, horrid! Nightmarish! 317 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,690 I was trapped in the valley of violent rumbles. 318 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,526 I was nauseous! 319 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,153 [CROWD CHATTERING] 320 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:10,731 Lift! 321 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,069 Squad, halt! 322 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,530 ANNOUNCER: This giant is hereby declared... 323 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,908 the property of His Majesty King Theodore. 324 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,327 All hail King Theodore! 325 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,580 ALL: All hail King Theodore! 326 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:35,047 I wanted a bracelet, not a great big hairy beast. 327 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,889 Oh, dear! Are those restraints really necessary? 328 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:46,100 They are, my innocent, naive little bunny tail. 329 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:49,270 To prevent the giant beast from running rampant and killing us all. 330 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,688 What is this thing? 331 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,231 A Blefuscian spy. 332 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:55,193 I'm not a blue fish man. I don't even know what that is. 333 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,278 Will someone please just tell me where I am? 334 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,405 You are in Lilliput. 335 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:00,781 Lilli-puh? 336 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:05,328 JINKS: The grandest and greatest land in all the world. All hail Lilliput! 337 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,787 ALL: All hail Lilliput! 338 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,123 This is insane. This is insane. 339 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:12,960 Okay, enough. Come out with the funny cameras. 340 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,254 [SCREECHING] 341 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,481 MAN 1: Mealtime, beast! 342 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:35,650 Ah. 343 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,780 Hay? I can't eat hay. 344 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,824 FOREMAN: Eat up! You have a busy day ahead of you, beast! 345 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,117 Enough with the beast! 346 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:48,079 I may be a giant, but I have feelings! 347 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,414 MAN 2: Ahem. Um... 348 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,750 I think you'll find that the hay... 349 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,003 is a bit more digestible if mixed with some... 350 00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:57,171 sewer water. 351 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:02,677 I'm sorry that my countrymen call you a beast. I do not think of you as a beast. 352 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,096 As a matter of fact, before you arrived... 353 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:08,641 I was the tallest man in Lilliput. 354 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,810 So I know how you feel. 355 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,728 Thanks, man. 356 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,105 I'm, uh... 357 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:19,527 I can't reach you for a handshake. I'm Gulliver. 358 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,612 Horatio. 359 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,864 Oh, man. 360 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,700 You guys are so tiny. 361 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:28,035 Are you the only other prisoner in the whole dungeon? 362 00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:29,161 HORATIO: Yes. 363 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,123 I have been placed in this prison by the great and glorious... 364 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,291 General Edward Edwardian... 365 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,585 for sending a lascivious look to his betrothed... 366 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:37,962 Princess Mary. 367 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:38,879 That's it? 368 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,215 He put you in prison for hitting on his lady? 369 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,174 Mm-hm. 370 00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:43,884 Dude, that is harsh. 371 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:47,263 No, you must understand. I am of a lowly station. 372 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,890 To legally court a woman of her stature... 373 00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:51,934 one must commit a valiant action... 374 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,354 and this is virtually impossible as a commoner. 375 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,232 Come on, don't be so hard on yourself. You seem like a cool guy. 376 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,859 You could do something valiant. 377 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,403 General Edward has led countless crusades... 378 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,905 and is known far and wide for his bravery. 379 00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,158 I'm no General Edward. 380 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,201 Well, no offense... 381 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:12,163 this Edward guy seems like kind of a lame ass. 382 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,581 EDWARD: A lame what? Huh? 383 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,418 It is my impression... 384 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,170 that "lame ass"... 385 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,672 is a negative expression from whence you came. 386 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:22,757 If this is the case... 387 00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:25,426 you shall be thrown in the stocks! 388 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:28,054 No, no, no! "Lame ass" means... 389 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:29,472 great... 390 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,932 brave and courageous... 391 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,684 heart-of-a-lion man. 392 00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:35,102 Is this the honorable truth? 393 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,855 Yes, this is the honorable truth. 394 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,774 EDWARD: Then, I am not just... 395 00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:40,941 a lame ass. 396 00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,360 Oh, no. 397 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:44,528 I'm a big lame ass! 398 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,446 The biggest! 399 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,574 I, General Edward Edwardian, am the biggest lame ass in all of the land! 400 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:49,742 Heart of a lion. 401 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:50,618 Hurrah! 402 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,786 GULLIVER: So, listen... 403 00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:54,080 now that you know we're cool... 404 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:56,791 what do you say you loosen up these shackles a bit? 405 00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,460 No. 406 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,962 It is time for your life of hard labor to begin. 407 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,422 [SIGHS] 408 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:04,632 EDWARD: Left! 409 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:06,550 Forward! 410 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,969 GULLIVER: Ow! Ow! EDWARD: Left! 411 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,471 Right! 412 00:23:10,847 --> 00:23:11,889 Left! 413 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,359 Their defense system is operational. 414 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,319 We must move in stealthily. 415 00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:32,410 EDWARD: Left! 416 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,996 Did I tell you to stop fanning, peasant? Sorry. 417 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:38,541 Sorry. 418 00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:46,841 They will be too busy with the fire to protect their princess. 419 00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,931 [BELL TOLLING] 420 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:54,974 HORATIO: A fire! 421 00:23:55,183 --> 00:23:57,685 A fire is two bells, that was three. It's an attack! 422 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,311 No, it actually sounded more like... 423 00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:01,188 two bells, and then, a pause... 424 00:24:01,356 --> 00:24:02,356 and then a third bell. 425 00:24:02,524 --> 00:24:04,191 So, it's an attack and a fire? 426 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,360 The Blefuscians! The princess! 427 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,112 EDWARD: To the castle, beast! 428 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,198 Left, right, left, right. 429 00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,867 Faster, beast! 430 00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,996 [GULLIVER GRUNTING] 431 00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,626 Oh, no. The Blefuscians. 432 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,503 Do not kidnap me. 433 00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:26,005 Please do not kidnap me. 434 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,548 GULLIVER: Why is she just standing there? 435 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,467 Of course, she's gonna get kidnapped if she... 436 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,136 You speak not of the princess. Down! 437 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:37,224 I shall save you, my princess. 438 00:24:37,392 --> 00:24:39,018 My princess. 439 00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:44,648 Dude, I can help. 440 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:47,860 We do not need your help, beast. You just stay here. 441 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,530 Nobody save the princess! 442 00:24:51,698 --> 00:24:55,242 He'll never get to her in time. Please, you must save the princess. 443 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:57,995 But you heard that angry little dingleberry. He said I shouldn't. 444 00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:58,913 I beg of you! 445 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,756 It is too late. You are kidnapped. 446 00:25:08,965 --> 00:25:10,424 I am kidnapped! 447 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,218 GULLIVER: Not on my watch. 448 00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:15,763 [BLEFUSCIANS WHIMPERING] 449 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:21,018 [BLEFUSCIANS SCREAMING] 450 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:24,104 GULLIVER: Hop on, princess. Let's get you out of here. 451 00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:30,236 Fear not, my darling! I am here to save you. 452 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:32,530 Where has she gone? 453 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:35,449 Oh, she has been kidnapped. 454 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:39,245 GULLIVER: There you go, Princess. 455 00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:41,622 Thank you so much. 456 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:43,123 HORATIO: Are you okay? 457 00:25:43,291 --> 00:25:44,625 Yes. 458 00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:46,919 Thank God. 459 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:49,088 [BELL RINGING] 460 00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:51,966 The Blefuscians are retreating. 461 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,926 We are to have a victory feast. 462 00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:54,802 HORATIO: How lovely. 463 00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:55,594 [BELL TOLLING] 464 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:57,596 The fire has raged out of control. 465 00:25:57,764 --> 00:25:59,431 My father is trapped! 466 00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:02,142 You guys have to invest in a more efficient warning system. 467 00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:04,812 Your Highness! 468 00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:05,980 [JINKS SCREAMS] 469 00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:10,401 Out of the way. I have to put out a fire. 470 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:11,443 Out of the way. 471 00:26:11,611 --> 00:26:13,070 I'm coming through! 472 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:15,990 The beast! 473 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:18,075 Aah! 474 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,410 [GRUNTING] 475 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,829 Yama-schatzi, that's hot! 476 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:22,913 HORATIO: Princess, no! 477 00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:25,165 Princess, you mustn't. 478 00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:27,501 Father! He's burning! 479 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:30,004 You have served me with great honor. 480 00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:32,423 We need access to a great deal of water. 481 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:33,674 MARY: Do something! 482 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:37,011 [SINGING] Oh, Lilliput, great kingdom... 483 00:26:37,178 --> 00:26:38,178 [SOBBING] 484 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,930 I do not wanna do this. 485 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:41,473 You have a plan? 486 00:26:41,641 --> 00:26:43,350 I have a plan, but you're not gonna like it. 487 00:26:44,185 --> 00:26:45,185 [ZIPPER ZIPS] 488 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,520 [CROWD MURMURS] 489 00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:47,980 Don't look. 490 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,199 Cease, beast! 491 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:01,201 It's working! Huzzah! 492 00:27:01,369 --> 00:27:02,995 Yeah, it's working! 493 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:04,622 EDWARD: Out of my way! 494 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,373 How dare you evacuate yourself... 495 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,709 on our great and glorious king! 496 00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:14,256 Oh, no. Oh, no. 497 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:17,051 Sorry about the smell. I've been drinking sewer water. 498 00:27:17,218 --> 00:27:19,386 This is grounds for execution! 499 00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:21,138 I know, that was pretty gross. 500 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,890 Let me pull up my trousers. 501 00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:24,058 MARY: Father! 502 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:26,727 Father! 503 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,313 Oh... Aah! You look glorious. 504 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,818 Thank you, my dear. 505 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:46,205 Our savior! 506 00:27:46,581 --> 00:27:47,539 The beast! 507 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,584 JINKS: Beast! Beast! Beast! 508 00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:52,127 [CROWD CHANTING] 509 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:54,380 You guys, it was nothing, really. 510 00:27:54,547 --> 00:27:56,090 I saw a fire... 511 00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:58,467 I had some water, I released! 512 00:27:58,635 --> 00:27:59,885 Flood on aisle two. 513 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:03,097 Does that translate here? Is that a joke here? 514 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:04,807 Flood on aisle two? 515 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,308 [LAUGHS] 516 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:07,768 Thanks, you guys. 517 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:14,400 [JINKS CLEARS THROAT] 518 00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:17,444 The king requests the honor of your company... 519 00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:20,072 at a banquet this evening. Do you accept? 520 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,115 Yeah. 521 00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:22,950 On one condition. 522 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:26,453 You free my friend, Horatio, and allow me to bring him as my plus one. 523 00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:30,958 He is jailed for... unlawful courting. He must return. 524 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,086 That's my condish! 525 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:36,296 One moment, if you will. 526 00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,760 Why are you doing this for me? 527 00:28:41,928 --> 00:28:44,722 Because you're my buddy. I'm not gonna go to this thing without you. 528 00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,974 I'm not gonna know anybody there. You have to come. 529 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,225 JINKS: Ahem! GULLIVER: Play it cool. 530 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:50,060 [JINKS CLEARS THROAT] 531 00:28:50,687 --> 00:28:53,147 JINKS: The king requests the honor of your... 532 00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:57,651 and Horatio the Glovier's company at a royal banquet this evening. Do you accept? 533 00:28:58,153 --> 00:28:59,486 Yes, indeed. 534 00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:00,404 [PANTING] 535 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,114 I can make it. JINKS: Oh, God. 536 00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:06,910 HORATIO: Whoa. Oh, my God. 537 00:29:07,078 --> 00:29:08,579 I'm forever indebted to you. 538 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:11,331 It's not necessary. Instead, let's just do this. 539 00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:12,958 What is that? 540 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,752 You pound it with your fist! 541 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:17,671 Come on, don't leave me hanging. 542 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:20,799 Yeah! 543 00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:23,886 Now let's go party! 544 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,474 [CROWD CHATTERING] 545 00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:31,685 [PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC] 546 00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:34,938 GULLIVER: Is anyone gonna... 547 00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:38,400 I'm just gonna go ahead and get this. 548 00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,362 [GULLIVER SLURPING] 549 00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:53,624 ISABELLE: So, since you're not... 550 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,876 from Blefuscia... 551 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,961 where are you from... 552 00:29:58,838 --> 00:30:00,130 beast? 553 00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:03,342 Uh, heh. Once again, totally cool to be just called Gulliver. 554 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:07,513 Some people believe you've come from the Island Where We Dare Not Go. 555 00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,139 [ALL GASP] 556 00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:10,724 Is there any truth to this rumor? 557 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:13,227 No. Where's the Island Where We Dare Not Go? 558 00:30:13,394 --> 00:30:14,228 [ALL GASP] 559 00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,064 THEODORE: There... 560 00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:18,065 beyond the fog bank. 561 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,150 GULLIVER: I didn't come through a fog bank. 562 00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:22,236 I'm from the island of Manhattan... 563 00:30:22,403 --> 00:30:23,654 between the islands of... 564 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:26,406 Staten and Long. 565 00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:29,576 This island of Manhattan, what sort of kingdom is it? 566 00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:34,164 I'm not from a kingdom. I'm actually from a democracy. 567 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:36,917 You see, we elect a president every four years. 568 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:38,585 ISABELLE: You are so honorable... 569 00:30:38,753 --> 00:30:40,045 and courageous. 570 00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:42,339 Were you the president? 571 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:45,092 Of course, he was, Mother. Look at him. 572 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:47,261 He is the most powerful gentleman in all the land. 573 00:30:47,428 --> 00:30:49,054 I'm so sorry if Mother embarrassed you. 574 00:30:49,389 --> 00:30:53,725 No, it's a common mistake to not think I was president. 575 00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:55,227 THEODORE: Were you a victorious president? 576 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,604 Yeah. I was pretty victorious. 577 00:30:57,772 --> 00:30:59,022 Noble, as well? 578 00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:01,859 Yeah, I was super noble. 579 00:31:03,611 --> 00:31:07,447 I was actually known as "President the Awesome." 580 00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:09,074 "President the Awesome." 581 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,411 Pretty unlikely title. 582 00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:17,082 When do you return home, noble and awesome Gulliver? 583 00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:19,960 Pretty soon, I suppose. Yes? 584 00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:22,629 I should imagine they're falling apart without you... 585 00:31:22,797 --> 00:31:24,590 their greatest hero. 586 00:31:24,757 --> 00:31:29,469 Well, without my boat, looks like I'm stuck here. 587 00:31:29,637 --> 00:31:31,889 THEODORE: Don't worry. My army will find your boat. 588 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:33,974 In the meantime, we could find you accommodations. 589 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,309 Like some hay to sleep on? 590 00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:37,311 Anything. Anything? 591 00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:40,272 We are the finest builders in all the land. We can build you anything. 592 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,984 Seriously, we are ridiculously good builders. 593 00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:46,320 And we are your servants, awesome Gulliver. 594 00:31:46,487 --> 00:31:48,822 I don't wanna take advantage, but, uh... 595 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,961 GULLIVER: It's day seven of my stay here in Lilliput. 596 00:32:03,129 --> 00:32:06,506 At first, me and the little guys got off on the wrong foot... 597 00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:09,217 but turns out they're a pretty solid group of dudes. 598 00:32:09,385 --> 00:32:12,012 They're building me a temporary place to live. 599 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:16,058 They threw me an awesome party just for releasing myself... 600 00:32:16,225 --> 00:32:19,311 and the king sent out a search party to find my boat. 601 00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,355 In the meantime... 602 00:32:21,522 --> 00:32:23,523 I'm roughing it. 603 00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:29,696 Mm. 604 00:32:29,864 --> 00:32:32,908 That is a good cup of joe. 605 00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,034 Good morning. 606 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,202 MAN 1: Morning, Gulliver. 607 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,703 MAN 2: Morning! MAN 3: Morning! 608 00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:38,789 Top of the morning to you, fellas. 609 00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:53,553 HORATIO: Gulliver... 610 00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:55,889 your media room is ready. 611 00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:57,224 [SCREAMS] 612 00:32:57,392 --> 00:33:00,185 Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. 613 00:33:00,353 --> 00:33:02,729 AUGUST [AS GULLIVER]: He told me enough. He told me... 614 00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:03,897 you killed him! 615 00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,524 JINKS [AS DARTH VADER]: No, Gulliver. 616 00:33:05,692 --> 00:33:07,150 I am your father. 617 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:07,901 [GASPING] 618 00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:09,027 No way. 619 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:11,279 This is an impossibility! 620 00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,490 Yet somehow, it seems completely inevitable. 621 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:16,034 Gulliver, you truly have lived a thousand lives. 622 00:33:16,202 --> 00:33:17,202 [AUGUST SCREAMS] 623 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:20,706 King Theodore, it is time to perform our bi-weekly military exercises. 624 00:33:20,873 --> 00:33:24,710 Just one moment. We're watching the stories... 625 00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:26,044 of Gulliver's life. 626 00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:28,588 We have not missed a military exercise in over three hundred years. 627 00:33:28,756 --> 00:33:29,256 Dude! 628 00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:32,259 Get out of the way. We cannot see the screen! 629 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:34,678 EDWARD: Move! Move! 630 00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:37,764 AUGUST [AS GULLIVER]: The Titanic is sinking! 631 00:33:37,932 --> 00:33:39,725 But it was meant to be unsinkable. 632 00:33:39,892 --> 00:33:41,226 [ROSE GASPING] 633 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:43,770 I love you, Gulliver. 634 00:33:43,938 --> 00:33:45,564 AUGUST: No, don't do that. 635 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:48,066 You're gonna make lots of babies and die in a warm bed... 636 00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,359 in old age. 637 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:54,865 AUGUST: I'm cold. 638 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,117 And also... 639 00:33:58,244 --> 00:33:59,786 I'm king of the world! 640 00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:02,456 ROSE: Oh, Gulliver. 641 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:05,417 [SOBBING] 642 00:34:06,794 --> 00:34:07,753 MAN 1: Bravo! 643 00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:09,296 MAN 2: Encore! 644 00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:10,464 EDWARD: Wait! 645 00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:13,300 I'm sorry. 646 00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:16,303 You mean to say that you actually died in this shipwreck? 647 00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:17,387 Yeah, I died. 648 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:18,305 You actually died. 649 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,057 But I was resuscitated. 650 00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:21,391 It's preposterous. 651 00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:22,976 No, but then I survived. 652 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,728 It's ridiculous. 653 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:26,772 You have to see the seq... But you're okay now! 654 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,148 It's silly. 655 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,901 Just silly, silly stories. 656 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:32,319 [SCOFFS] 657 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:33,737 Pfft. 658 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,363 HORATIO: So, let me get this straight. 659 00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:37,657 After you were brought back to life as an avatar... 660 00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:41,328 that's when you met your princess, Darcy Silverman of Manhattan? 661 00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:43,121 Yeah. Can't wait to get back to her. 662 00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:46,458 I noticed you had a little eye contact with the princess. 663 00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:48,376 How is it going? Good, yeah! 664 00:34:48,544 --> 00:34:50,754 I think if things go well, within two to four years... 665 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,380 she may deign to speak to me. 666 00:34:53,132 --> 00:34:55,300 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. 667 00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:56,426 Thank God. 668 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,805 Now, you can't woo a lady by hoping she'll deign... 669 00:34:59,972 --> 00:35:00,931 to speak to you. 670 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:04,351 To land a princess, you got to employ some grade-A court-age. 671 00:35:05,019 --> 00:35:06,019 Could you teach me? 672 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,687 Huh? 673 00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:09,689 This court-age that you speak. 674 00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:15,403 Yeah, I could teach you some of my moves. 675 00:35:15,571 --> 00:35:16,279 Yes! 676 00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:17,280 Thank you. 677 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:19,199 If you beat me back home. 678 00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:21,701 I need a head start. On you mark, get set, go! 679 00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:23,411 HORATIO: I'm not ready to race you! 680 00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:36,925 HORATIO: Princess! Oh, Princess! 681 00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:39,052 Wherefore art thou, Princess? 682 00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:42,389 Hello! Who calls? 683 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,723 It is I, Horatio. 684 00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:45,642 Why are you so far away? 685 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,603 I don't want to invoke the ire of thy father. 686 00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:49,896 But I must be honest... 687 00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:51,106 GULLIVER: And tell ye... 688 00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:53,024 And tell ye... 689 00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:55,694 MARY: Tell me what, Horatio? 690 00:35:57,697 --> 00:36:00,907 You don't have to be rich to be my girl. 691 00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:03,201 Say it! 692 00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:07,414 You don't have to be rich to be my girl. 693 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:13,211 You don't have to be cool to rule my world. 694 00:36:13,379 --> 00:36:16,006 Horatio, these passionate words could get us into trouble. 695 00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,717 There's no particular sign I'm more compatible with. 696 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:22,679 There's no particular sign that I'm more compatible with. 697 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,265 I just want your extra time and your... 698 00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:26,391 [KISSING] 699 00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:29,227 ...kiss. 700 00:36:29,770 --> 00:36:31,438 [KISSING] 701 00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:33,273 Kiss. 702 00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:36,234 What beauty emanates from your lips! 703 00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:38,028 Think I'm gonna dance now. 704 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,238 [TAYLOR GRAVES' "KISS" PLAYING] 705 00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:42,782 I think I'd better dance now. 706 00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:45,452 Think I'm gonna dance now! 707 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,870 [HUMMING] 708 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:49,289 I've gotta, gotta 709 00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:50,957 GULLIVER: Put more mustard on it, baby. 710 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:53,919 Feel it. Move your hips. 711 00:36:54,086 --> 00:36:56,379 Maybe we can do the twirl 712 00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:59,299 I don't think it's working. 713 00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:02,052 You're not dancing good. Shake it! 714 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,137 To have an attitude 715 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:07,766 I've never been wooed with such unique passion. 716 00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:10,310 It's working! 717 00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,145 My love will be your food 718 00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,980 Did I tell you? 719 00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:15,815 Yes! 720 00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:18,985 I hear someone coming! Till the morrow. 721 00:37:19,153 --> 00:37:21,363 Don't have to be cool 722 00:37:21,530 --> 00:37:23,990 HORATIO: It worked! I did it! 723 00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:26,826 Let's go. 724 00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:28,161 HORATIO: Yes! 725 00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:31,748 EDWARD: To whom were you speaking, my darling? 726 00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:34,000 Kiss 727 00:37:34,168 --> 00:37:34,960 No one. 728 00:37:35,127 --> 00:37:37,837 Me. I was... I was speaking to me. 729 00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:38,838 Myself. 730 00:37:39,006 --> 00:37:40,924 What are you doing in my chambers? 731 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,676 I have come to court you... 732 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,344 as I always do... 733 00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:45,470 at this time of day. 734 00:37:46,305 --> 00:37:50,642 Or have you already forgotten who is your one true eternal love? 735 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:53,687 No, no. Of course, I remember. 736 00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:55,939 Remember what? 737 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:57,274 Oh, um... 738 00:37:58,359 --> 00:38:00,068 That you are my one true... 739 00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:01,695 ...eternal love. Eternal love. 740 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,363 It's just that I was talking... 741 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:05,198 with the giant and lost track of time. 742 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:06,825 I trust not this beast. 743 00:38:07,493 --> 00:38:09,369 Seems trustworthy to me. 744 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:11,746 He's very nice. You've done sewing. 745 00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,039 Sewing. Yes. 746 00:38:13,207 --> 00:38:14,374 An embroidery. 747 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:17,043 It's my grandmother's doily and I'm trying to present... 748 00:38:17,211 --> 00:38:19,546 I captured a hawk today. 749 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,047 Did you? 750 00:38:21,215 --> 00:38:25,427 He lay in a field. I came behind him and captured him with my bare hand. 751 00:38:28,222 --> 00:38:30,223 This is impressive, also. 752 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:34,227 Ah. 753 00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:36,062 Fun. 754 00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:38,023 Fun courtship... 755 00:38:38,190 --> 00:38:40,066 you and I have. 756 00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:41,860 It is over now. 757 00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:43,820 Must go. 758 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,699 Those villagers shan't pillage themselves. 759 00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:02,756 We must alert General Edward of this at once. 760 00:39:03,549 --> 00:39:05,508 We've found it. 761 00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:07,510 [RINGING] 762 00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:09,387 I hear you, ring-a-ling-a-ding-dong. 763 00:39:09,555 --> 00:39:12,182 Okay, I'm coming... Oh. Hey, how's it going? 764 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,434 EDWARD: Hello, beast! 765 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:16,686 I come bearing the most terrific news! 766 00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:17,937 Yeah? Really? 767 00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:20,440 We have discovered your ship. 768 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:23,360 The Knotfersail. Ha, ha, ha. 769 00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:25,195 Clever name. 770 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,946 You did it! 771 00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:30,784 You found my boat. I'm actually going home. 772 00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:33,578 Hey, you guys can fix this thing, right? 773 00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:36,414 Of course, you can. You're incredibly awesome builders. 774 00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:37,624 Yes! 775 00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:39,084 [GULLIVER LAUGHING] 776 00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:44,255 Darcy is about to read the best article ever. 777 00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,132 I'm talking Pulitzer. 778 00:39:47,134 --> 00:39:50,053 "Slide to unlock." 779 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:53,264 GULLIVER: What are you guys doing? 780 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:54,641 [SOLDIER SCREAMS] 781 00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:56,893 Is that my phone? Man, it takes a lickin'. 782 00:39:57,311 --> 00:39:59,312 No signal, but I got 12 messages. 783 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,773 Mr. Popularity. 784 00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:04,317 DARCY [ON RECORDING]: Hey, Gulliver. It's me. It's Darcy. 785 00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:07,821 I just realized why I felt like your writing came straight... 786 00:40:07,988 --> 00:40:12,492 out of Frommer's. Because it does! Call me as soon as you get this. 787 00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,119 Sergeant Peacock, what's it doing? 788 00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:16,162 He's checking his voicemail, General Edward. 789 00:40:16,330 --> 00:40:17,122 Good. 790 00:40:17,289 --> 00:40:18,456 What's voicemail? 791 00:40:18,624 --> 00:40:22,335 DARCY: Hey, Lemuel! It's Darcy. I've totally forgiven you. 792 00:40:22,503 --> 00:40:23,837 Wait! No, I haven't... 793 00:40:24,004 --> 00:40:26,798 because now I have to get seasick on a boat to cover your butt! 794 00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:27,966 Thanks for this. 795 00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:30,427 And if you can't tell, that "thanks" was sarcastic. 796 00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:33,471 Darcy, again. 797 00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:37,100 I can't believe you lied to me. I trusted you. 798 00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:40,103 Wherever you're hiding, stay there. 799 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:43,314 I never want to hear from you again. 800 00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:46,943 Mr. Beast... 801 00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:49,112 I've instructed our builders... 802 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:53,867 to work day and night to ensure you are seaworthy by week's end. 803 00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:58,329 Isn't that just the most fantastical news you've ever received in your life? 804 00:40:58,497 --> 00:40:59,539 Great. 805 00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:02,333 I can't tell you how happy I am... 806 00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:04,461 for you. 807 00:41:11,093 --> 00:41:12,427 [SIGHS] 808 00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:16,222 MARY: Why do you look so forlorn, noble protector? 809 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,058 Me? Forlorn? No way. 810 00:41:19,226 --> 00:41:21,311 You do look quite forlorn. 811 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:25,064 Just for the record, what's "forlorn" mean, again? Is it "sad"? 812 00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:27,650 Basically, it's just a bit more dramatic-sounding. 813 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:30,987 Yeah, well, in that case, I guess I am a little forlorn. 814 00:41:31,155 --> 00:41:32,155 Oh, Gulliver... 815 00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:34,365 you miss your princess. 816 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,577 Well... 817 00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:40,163 The truth is, we're not super close. 818 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,748 Oh, Gulliver. 819 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:44,667 She's kind of mad at me right now. 820 00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,086 MARY: I am forlorn as well. 821 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,049 I don't know what to do. 822 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:53,760 I think I'm in love with Horatio. 823 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:57,222 But that's great! Don't be forlorn about that. 824 00:41:57,389 --> 00:41:59,933 Most people spend their lives looking for that and don't find it. 825 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:02,101 Go for it! Follow your heart. 826 00:42:02,269 --> 00:42:04,437 But my heart is promised to General Edward. 827 00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:07,857 And I cannot break that vow. He will lose honor and respect. 828 00:42:08,025 --> 00:42:09,776 And he will die of heartbreak. 829 00:42:09,944 --> 00:42:12,779 Okay. Look, he's just being melodramatic. 830 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:14,948 Is he? Yeah. 831 00:42:15,991 --> 00:42:18,243 Gulliver, I will miss you so much. 832 00:42:18,410 --> 00:42:20,453 I'm gonna miss you, too. 833 00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:23,790 Maybe I should stay. 834 00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,542 Don't you miss your subjects? 835 00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:27,043 And the White House? 836 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,461 And the Millennium Falcon? 837 00:42:29,129 --> 00:42:30,797 Yeah. 838 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,092 But Vice President Yoda can run things without me for a while. 839 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,429 Do you think the king would mind if I stuck around for a bit? 840 00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:41,391 Well, of course not, Gulliver. 841 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,143 You've made everyone here so happy. 842 00:42:44,311 --> 00:42:48,273 I can't imagine anyone in Lilliput not wanting you to stay as long as possible. 843 00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:51,651 EDWARD: Noble and valiant King Theodore. 844 00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:55,405 I trust-eth not this beast, Gulliver who lives-t in our midst-ith-ith. 845 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:59,075 He can now leave-th but he chooses to stay. And furthermore... 846 00:42:59,743 --> 00:43:02,120 I do not believe it who he say-eth he is-eth. 847 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,622 I most-eth humbly disagree-eth. 848 00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:07,959 And why-eth must we always go on with these "eths"? 849 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:10,587 Because we speak officially-eth. 850 00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:13,840 Forget it. From now on, even when speaking officially... 851 00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,300 we must get rid of these "eths." 852 00:43:15,467 --> 00:43:16,467 Official speaking is... 853 00:43:16,635 --> 00:43:18,052 an illustrious Lilliputian tradition! 854 00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:22,599 Whoa! Inside castle voice. Please. 855 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,601 Forgive me-eth. 856 00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:28,855 Forgive me. 857 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,691 I think this job is beginning to stress you out. 858 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,444 Maybe a little time off would be the thing. 859 00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:36,529 [SCOFFING] 860 00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:38,698 Who else could run your army? 861 00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,992 THEODORE: Our new general, Gulliver! 862 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,035 [CROWD CHEERING] 863 00:43:42,202 --> 00:43:43,870 I won't let you down, King. 864 00:43:45,205 --> 00:43:48,541 And I look forward to working with you, Vice General Edward. 865 00:43:49,209 --> 00:43:50,460 Hm. 866 00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:55,214 "Vice General." Vice! 867 00:43:55,382 --> 00:43:57,550 I've never been a Vice of anything. 868 00:43:57,718 --> 00:44:01,054 I can't be expected to take orders from that gargantuan fool. 869 00:44:01,221 --> 00:44:02,889 I would rather take orders from a woman. 870 00:44:03,098 --> 00:44:06,225 You are relieved. Thank you, Vice General Edward. 871 00:44:10,272 --> 00:44:13,232 All right, Gulliver, protect against this. 872 00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:24,577 They have turned off their defense system. 873 00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:27,413 Alert the king, and prepare the armada. 874 00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:44,972 Oh, no. Our defense system has failed. 875 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:47,725 We shall never reach our ships on time. 876 00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:50,853 Careful now. Mind yourselves. 877 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:52,772 Oh, what a mess. 878 00:44:53,565 --> 00:44:54,857 They are defenseless. 879 00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:57,110 Cease fire and ready the troops! 880 00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:58,778 Gulliver! GULLIVER: Mm-hm. 881 00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,530 HORATIO: The Blefuscians attack! 882 00:45:02,825 --> 00:45:04,242 Are you sure? Yes! 883 00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:06,911 Please, we need you. You're our general. 884 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:12,959 [SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 885 00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:14,377 [BELL TOLLING] 886 00:45:14,753 --> 00:45:15,962 THEODORE: Good lord! 887 00:45:16,463 --> 00:45:18,631 It's the entire Blefuscian armada! 888 00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:20,133 I know. 889 00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:31,144 Finally! Our general has arrived. 890 00:45:31,854 --> 00:45:33,479 What's going on? I heard the bells. 891 00:45:33,647 --> 00:45:35,606 As our mighty general... 892 00:45:35,774 --> 00:45:37,984 you must lead the army to save Lilliput... 893 00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,987 and vanquish the entire Blefuscian armada. 894 00:45:43,782 --> 00:45:44,824 GULLIVER: You want me to... 895 00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:46,659 vanquish all of them? 896 00:45:46,827 --> 00:45:47,660 Yes, please. 897 00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:49,078 Every last one of them. 898 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:51,789 Yeah, fine. 899 00:45:51,957 --> 00:45:53,416 Thank you, fair Gulliver. 900 00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:56,169 Okay, here we go. 901 00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,964 Time to vanquish. 902 00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:01,340 LILLIPUTIANS: Whoa! 903 00:46:02,217 --> 00:46:03,259 [CROWD GASPS] 904 00:46:04,344 --> 00:46:07,013 Ooh! It's cold! 905 00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:09,182 Ha, ha! Whoo! 906 00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:15,480 No problem. 907 00:46:15,689 --> 00:46:17,356 You're going down! 908 00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:33,039 Why have we stopped? 909 00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:34,707 It's him. 910 00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:44,300 Hey. 911 00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:45,551 Hey, dudes. 912 00:46:46,678 --> 00:46:47,804 I'm Gulliver. 913 00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:49,889 I come in peace. Listen... 914 00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:52,642 they want me to vanquish you, but I don't want to vanquish anybody... 915 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:54,352 and you don't want to be vanquished. 916 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,563 Let's just pretend, okay? I'll go crazy. 917 00:46:57,731 --> 00:47:00,399 You act all scared and just follow my lead, all right? 918 00:47:00,859 --> 00:47:01,692 Sell it! 919 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,279 Okay. Here we go. 920 00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,575 Unfurl the sails! 921 00:47:09,743 --> 00:47:11,577 Hard to starboard! 922 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:13,246 Battle stations. 923 00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:15,331 Prepare positions. 924 00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,416 Move! Move! 925 00:47:17,584 --> 00:47:19,335 This truly is a battle for the ages. 926 00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,711 It truly is. 927 00:47:20,879 --> 00:47:22,213 [YELLING] 928 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:28,970 Okay, so now, I'II just tell them you were too swift or whatever and... 929 00:47:29,137 --> 00:47:30,346 How come you all turned around? 930 00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:31,514 Fire! 931 00:47:35,227 --> 00:47:38,521 Oh, no. That looks painful. 932 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:40,273 [GROANING] 933 00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:53,911 CAPTAIN: Move! 934 00:47:58,750 --> 00:47:59,959 I'm invincible. 935 00:48:01,753 --> 00:48:02,545 Yes! 936 00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:04,297 Go on, Gulliver! 937 00:48:11,763 --> 00:48:13,389 [ALL YELLING] 938 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:26,986 [KISS' "ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE" PLAYING] 939 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:29,989 Well done, sir! Well done! Excellent! 940 00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:33,409 CROWD [CHANTING]: Gulliver! Gulliver! 941 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:36,120 Well done, you big, fat beast. 942 00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:38,998 You show us everything you've got 943 00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:40,291 [CHANTING CONTINUES] 944 00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,627 GULLIVER: Yes! 945 00:48:43,503 --> 00:48:45,171 Pound it. 946 00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,923 Respect. Well done, Gulliver! 947 00:48:47,090 --> 00:48:48,716 SOLDIER: Awesome! Ha! 948 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:51,844 You say you wanna 949 00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:53,179 Go for a spin 950 00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,849 The party's just begun We'll let you in 951 00:48:57,351 --> 00:48:59,477 Pass! That's a foul! That's disgraceful! 952 00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:03,481 [LAUGHING] 953 00:49:03,649 --> 00:49:04,941 Goal! 954 00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:07,777 The beast is victorious. 955 00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:10,279 Goal! 956 00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:12,782 All right! 957 00:49:12,991 --> 00:49:14,033 Yeah! 958 00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:18,537 Guys, this is what I'm talking about. 959 00:49:18,705 --> 00:49:21,874 Look at that. With the billboards and the lights... 960 00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,460 it's home sweet home. What can I say? 961 00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:27,880 Hey, could you guys send over a panzer division to my left shoulder, please? 962 00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:30,800 Yeah, north, two klicks. 963 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,051 One klick. 964 00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:35,388 Oh, yeah, that's the spot. 965 00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:40,559 Okay, just a little off the top. Don't go crazy. 966 00:49:40,727 --> 00:49:44,522 And don't shave off my sideburns. I need those mutton chops. 967 00:49:45,732 --> 00:49:50,569 And you drive us wild We'll drive you crazy 968 00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:55,700 You keep on shoutin' You keep on shoutin' 969 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,747 BAND [SINGING]: I wanna rock and roll 970 00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:03,207 All night 971 00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:05,584 And party every day 972 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:09,422 I wanna rock and roll all night 973 00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:12,008 GULLIVER & BAND: And party every day 974 00:50:12,175 --> 00:50:13,426 I wanna 975 00:50:13,593 --> 00:50:16,262 Rock and roll all night 976 00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,389 And you are 977 00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:20,850 My bitch And I double-defeated you 978 00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,185 because I was playing and singing 979 00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:26,439 You did good, though. Let's try it again from the top. 980 00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:29,233 One sec, please. Pause game. 981 00:50:29,651 --> 00:50:30,359 Pause game. 982 00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:33,612 I was just thinking. You're general of Lilliput now. 983 00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:37,116 Shouldn't you be training the army? What if Blefuscia should attack again? 984 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:39,368 Come on, man! No one's gonna attack. 985 00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:41,871 Not while I'm around. I'm a one-man wrecking crew. 986 00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:44,457 If you want to worry, you should be worrying about how... 987 00:50:44,624 --> 00:50:46,709 you haven't made a move on the princess yet. 988 00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,295 You're in danger of falling into friendship lagoon. 989 00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:50,129 What? 990 00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:53,090 Yeah, friendship lagoon. It blows. 991 00:50:53,258 --> 00:50:55,968 You're gonna be like, "We're friends, it's great. I'm cool with that." 992 00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:57,428 And you won't be cool with that! 993 00:50:57,596 --> 00:50:59,597 And it kills you inside. 994 00:50:59,765 --> 00:51:02,141 No. No, never! 995 00:51:02,309 --> 00:51:03,642 Yeah, man! 996 00:51:03,810 --> 00:51:05,561 You have to man up and be direct. 997 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,646 Next time you see her, just tell her what's up. 998 00:51:07,814 --> 00:51:09,648 "Hey, what's up, sexy? 999 00:51:09,816 --> 00:51:13,569 "I hope it's not too forward, but I find you incredibly sexy. 1000 00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,488 "Never told you before but I'm into you... 1001 00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:18,324 "but I'm also into a lot of things, so don't get too excited. 1002 00:51:18,533 --> 00:51:22,244 "Got a lot of things going on. I'd like you to be one of them." 1003 00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:24,163 You see the way I mixed it up? 1004 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:26,832 "I want you, but not that much." You try it. 1005 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,125 Okay... 1006 00:51:28,293 --> 00:51:29,168 should I use the face? 1007 00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:31,837 If the face comes to you, but make it natural. 1008 00:51:32,005 --> 00:51:35,132 Don't make it a forced face. I just have one of those faces. 1009 00:51:35,300 --> 00:51:37,009 It sort of happens naturally. 1010 00:51:38,178 --> 00:51:40,012 My hands are sweating. 1011 00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:41,013 Go. 1012 00:51:41,681 --> 00:51:42,932 Okay. Ahem. 1013 00:51:44,142 --> 00:51:45,601 Well, hello... 1014 00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:49,438 fine maiden with the wide, childbearing hips. 1015 00:51:49,606 --> 00:51:52,858 Yee. Yikes. You don't want to talk about wide childbearing hips. 1016 00:51:54,861 --> 00:51:56,695 It's a good instinct. You're getting there. 1017 00:51:56,863 --> 00:51:58,989 But try it again. But this time, more smooth and sexy. 1018 00:51:59,157 --> 00:51:59,865 No big hips? 1019 00:52:00,033 --> 00:52:01,283 No big hips. 1020 00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:03,244 I think I got it. 1021 00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:05,162 Ahem. 1022 00:52:06,373 --> 00:52:09,416 Well, hello there, slim. 1023 00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:13,170 I ought to call you "potamus"... 1024 00:52:14,047 --> 00:52:16,048 because you've got no hip. 1025 00:52:17,050 --> 00:52:18,467 [LAUGHS] 1026 00:52:22,556 --> 00:52:24,056 Do we have to be here for this? 1027 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:26,725 Take five, save game. 1028 00:52:26,893 --> 00:52:29,145 Forget about the hips. Here's what you have to do. 1029 00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:31,689 GULLIVER: You have to make sure... 1030 00:52:33,066 --> 00:52:34,108 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 1031 00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:35,568 [MARY SIGHS] 1032 00:52:36,486 --> 00:52:37,403 What are you doing... 1033 00:52:37,571 --> 00:52:38,362 in my chambers? 1034 00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:42,658 I have come to court you as I always do at this time of the day. 1035 00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:44,577 This is not the time of day for courting. 1036 00:52:44,744 --> 00:52:46,787 You cannot just barge in. 1037 00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:48,873 I can court you when I wish to court you. 1038 00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,084 I am not in the mood to be courted. I have a headache. 1039 00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:56,005 It is your womanly duty. 1040 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:59,091 Section 4.2 of the official courting doctrine... 1041 00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:00,217 Edward! 1042 00:53:01,428 --> 00:53:04,221 I am unsure about things between us. 1043 00:53:05,849 --> 00:53:09,393 It be not you, it be me, but I'm very unsure. 1044 00:53:09,561 --> 00:53:11,562 That make-th no sense. 1045 00:53:11,730 --> 00:53:15,024 We are to be married. You are to be my bride. 1046 00:53:15,192 --> 00:53:17,776 We are not in love. We are not in love. 1047 00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:20,779 What do you love about me? Name one thing. 1048 00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:25,451 Inappropriate, Edward. 1049 00:53:31,249 --> 00:53:32,374 Reach for it. One second. 1050 00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:33,876 Okay, take your time. 1051 00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:37,963 I find you... 1052 00:53:39,424 --> 00:53:40,758 absolutely... 1053 00:53:41,676 --> 00:53:42,885 satisfactory. 1054 00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:43,802 Ooh. No. 1055 00:53:43,970 --> 00:53:44,970 That is not enough... 1056 00:53:45,138 --> 00:53:48,307 to say that someone is average or adequate or moderate. 1057 00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,726 I want to be loved for who I am. 1058 00:53:50,894 --> 00:53:52,144 There's an awful lot... 1059 00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:53,479 going on up here. 1060 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,147 Is there? Now you're being cruel... 1061 00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:57,316 and, frankly, melodramatic. 1062 00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:59,276 And acting like a complete baby! 1063 00:53:59,444 --> 00:54:01,070 You are acting like a little princess. 1064 00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:02,154 I am a princess! 1065 00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:03,781 But maybe you should... 1066 00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:05,783 act like a princess. 1067 00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:07,660 Gulliver was so right about you. 1068 00:54:07,827 --> 00:54:10,162 Why don't we all listen to the beast! Don't call him that! 1069 00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:12,331 He's a big ugly beast and you should know better. 1070 00:54:12,499 --> 00:54:13,832 Get out! 1071 00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:16,835 You cannot break our engagement! It is worse than death! 1072 00:54:17,003 --> 00:54:17,836 Get out! 1073 00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:25,261 You will be sorry you ever crossed General Edward. 1074 00:54:25,428 --> 00:54:26,470 Ugh. 1075 00:54:31,017 --> 00:54:32,351 [CROWD CHATTERING] 1076 00:54:34,229 --> 00:54:37,773 VENDOR: Get your Gulliver's T-shirts! Dress like Gulliver. 1077 00:54:37,941 --> 00:54:40,442 You, sir! Get your Gulliver's T-shirts here. 1078 00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:50,202 Get your Gulliver's T-shirts here! 1079 00:54:50,412 --> 00:54:52,538 Gulliver's T-shirts! 1080 00:54:54,165 --> 00:54:56,000 Look at him. He's handsome! 1081 00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:28,324 What do you want? 1082 00:55:31,202 --> 00:55:32,578 This beast... 1083 00:55:32,871 --> 00:55:34,330 has transformed Lilliput... 1084 00:55:34,497 --> 00:55:37,875 into his own sordid and rotten little kingdom. 1085 00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:42,254 And he will do the same with your land if we do not stop him. 1086 00:55:42,422 --> 00:55:44,423 To save Lilliput... 1087 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:47,092 I must first destroy it. 1088 00:55:47,260 --> 00:55:49,845 How do you suggest we accomplish... 1089 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,680 such a dangerous task? 1090 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:55,726 [FOOTSTEPS MARCHING] 1091 00:56:00,231 --> 00:56:03,442 EDWARD: I have got stuff! Look. 1092 00:56:06,654 --> 00:56:08,739 I'm showing you. 1093 00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:11,909 GULLIVER: All right! Welcome to the first ever Lillapalooza! 1094 00:56:12,077 --> 00:56:14,953 Let's get this party started with a little jam I wrote! 1095 00:56:15,121 --> 00:56:16,997 [GUNS N' ROSES' "SWEET CHILD O' MINE" PLAYING OVER PA] 1096 00:56:17,165 --> 00:56:18,123 Right? 1097 00:56:18,291 --> 00:56:19,625 What are you up to in the morrow? 1098 00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:21,085 In the morrow? Yes. 1099 00:56:21,252 --> 00:56:23,253 I am, uh... I'm just hanging. 1100 00:56:23,421 --> 00:56:25,422 You know, so, yeah. Oh, um... 1101 00:56:25,882 --> 00:56:29,468 Would you care to attend the Ball of the Moonlit Glen with me? 1102 00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:30,803 The ball? Yeah. 1103 00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:32,513 The ball is tomorrow? Mm-hm. 1104 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,139 Right. Maybe. 1105 00:56:34,307 --> 00:56:35,432 GULLIVER: It's a pretty tasty jam! 1106 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,810 Pretty tasty jam. 1107 00:56:37,977 --> 00:56:39,728 Why are you acting like this? 1108 00:56:39,896 --> 00:56:42,064 Acting like what? Why are you being so strange? 1109 00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:43,232 I'm... 1110 00:56:44,025 --> 00:56:46,819 I'm a gentleman merchant about town... 1111 00:56:46,986 --> 00:56:48,737 and I have got to keep my options open. 1112 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:50,114 Do you? 1113 00:56:50,824 --> 00:56:51,949 That's what I've been told. 1114 00:56:52,117 --> 00:56:54,243 I'm not an option. I'm a lady. 1115 00:56:55,286 --> 00:56:56,662 I know you are, and I love ladies. 1116 00:56:57,163 --> 00:56:58,414 Believe me... Okay! 1117 00:56:59,582 --> 00:57:01,291 I'm sorry. I was... 1118 00:57:01,501 --> 00:57:03,127 [BELL TOLLING] 1119 00:57:06,923 --> 00:57:08,090 Five bells! 1120 00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,676 Five bells? What does five bells mean? 1121 00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,136 There have never been five bells. 1122 00:57:12,303 --> 00:57:15,139 Yeah? Don't worry about it... 1123 00:57:15,306 --> 00:57:19,435 because this guy throws down no matter how many bells are a-ringin'. 1124 00:57:21,646 --> 00:57:23,730 [CROWD SCREAMING] 1125 00:57:25,650 --> 00:57:28,861 Don't freak, little peeps. This one is on me. 1126 00:57:37,954 --> 00:57:41,415 You must be kidding me. This is five bells? 1127 00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,208 Pfft! 1128 00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:44,543 [GULLIVER CHUCKLES] 1129 00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,628 Ahh. It's cute. 1130 00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:48,213 Edward, you traitor! 1131 00:57:48,381 --> 00:57:50,716 How dare you forsake your Lilliputian brethren! 1132 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:52,801 I only forsooked after I was forsooken. 1133 00:57:52,969 --> 00:57:54,970 The forsookingness ends now! 1134 00:57:55,638 --> 00:57:58,223 I challenge you to a duel! 1135 00:57:58,475 --> 00:57:59,391 ALL: Ooh. 1136 00:57:59,559 --> 00:58:01,351 Ooh. Cool. Whatever. 1137 00:58:01,519 --> 00:58:03,228 So, you accept? 1138 00:58:03,396 --> 00:58:06,648 Oh, yeah! Yeah, I accept your duel. 1139 00:58:07,066 --> 00:58:08,650 Oh, goody! 1140 00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:09,860 Make a move. 1141 00:58:34,260 --> 00:58:35,385 Ha, ha! 1142 00:58:36,763 --> 00:58:39,431 Wow, you are hard. 1143 00:58:43,686 --> 00:58:44,853 Okay! 1144 00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:46,355 Just... 1145 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:47,898 stretching out the hammies. 1146 00:58:48,066 --> 00:58:49,858 It's a good thing to do before the duel. 1147 00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:51,401 [GROWLS] 1148 00:58:57,992 --> 00:59:01,078 You brought this on yourself, beast. 1149 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,454 Do you surrender, beast? 1150 00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:04,915 Sure, yeah! Whatever! 1151 00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:06,750 EDWARD: No, say it properly. 1152 00:59:06,918 --> 00:59:08,460 Say you surrender. Oh, yeah. 1153 00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:12,297 Say it! Say it! Say, "I surrender!" 1154 00:59:12,465 --> 00:59:15,884 I surrender! I surrender, I surrender! 1155 00:59:16,052 --> 00:59:16,802 You win. 1156 00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:17,803 It hurts my butt. 1157 00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:21,306 You cannot surrender! You are our most glorious protector! 1158 00:59:21,474 --> 00:59:22,808 You're President the Awesome! 1159 00:59:22,976 --> 00:59:25,978 MARY: And you and Captain Sparrow defeated the Joker and Magneto! 1160 00:59:26,145 --> 00:59:28,772 And you and Jack Bauer had only 24 hours to do it! 1161 00:59:29,190 --> 00:59:31,483 I didn't do any of that stuff. 1162 00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:33,652 I'm just a guy from the mailroom. 1163 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,153 But you gave us your word! 1164 00:59:35,321 --> 00:59:37,030 I'm sorry. 1165 00:59:38,324 --> 00:59:39,324 I lied. 1166 00:59:39,492 --> 00:59:40,450 [CROWD GASPS] 1167 00:59:40,618 --> 00:59:41,618 I knew it! 1168 00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:45,330 I hereby banish this beast... 1169 00:59:45,498 --> 00:59:46,957 to the Island Where We Dare Not Go... 1170 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,792 never to return to Lilliput again! 1171 00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:52,170 SENTRY: Take your positions! 1172 00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:00,012 Please, Gulliver. 1173 01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:14,526 Hey... 1174 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:18,030 is this Island Where We Dare Not Go really as bad as they say? 1175 01:00:18,197 --> 01:00:19,740 It's delightful! 1176 01:00:42,847 --> 01:00:43,889 [GROANS] 1177 01:00:54,984 --> 01:00:56,193 Okay. 1178 01:00:56,903 --> 01:01:00,989 No little people anywhere. That's a good sign. 1179 01:01:01,157 --> 01:01:04,576 Hello! Is anybody here? 1180 01:01:14,545 --> 01:01:15,587 No way. 1181 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,755 [GROWLING] 1182 01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:19,132 Aah! 1183 01:01:24,055 --> 01:01:25,597 SENTRY: Raise the standard! 1184 01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:34,940 MAN 1: Let's lose this rubbish! 1185 01:01:35,108 --> 01:01:36,775 MAN 2: Lower away! 1186 01:01:39,904 --> 01:01:43,031 Can I not walk alone in my own garden? 1187 01:01:43,199 --> 01:01:44,866 Go away! 1188 01:01:57,213 --> 01:01:59,047 Princess! 1189 01:02:01,467 --> 01:02:03,593 I've secured a boat. 1190 01:02:03,761 --> 01:02:05,137 We can leave tonight. 1191 01:02:05,346 --> 01:02:06,722 No, Horatio. 1192 01:02:07,223 --> 01:02:09,433 But Edward is gonna force you to marry him. 1193 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,810 I don't have any choice. 1194 01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:14,229 Please. Of course you have a choice. 1195 01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:16,481 No, you made that choice for me. 1196 01:02:16,649 --> 01:02:18,442 You don't understand. 1197 01:02:18,609 --> 01:02:19,651 Gulliver told me... 1198 01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:22,487 Everything Gulliver said was a lie... 1199 01:02:22,655 --> 01:02:24,656 including you. 1200 01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:39,129 [COUGHING] 1201 01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:42,674 DARCY: Oh, I'm paralyzed from the neck down. 1202 01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:44,092 What's that? What's crawling on me? 1203 01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:46,928 Not fire ants. Oh, please don't be fire an... 1204 01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:50,348 I am General Edward Edwardian... 1205 01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:53,477 commander of New Blefuscia. All hail New Blefuscia. 1206 01:02:53,644 --> 01:02:55,103 ALL: All hail New Blefuscia! 1207 01:02:55,354 --> 01:02:56,980 I must warn Gulliver. 1208 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:58,356 EDWARD: State your name... 1209 01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:00,317 she-beast. 1210 01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:02,027 Darcy Silverman. 1211 01:03:02,653 --> 01:03:03,987 Of Manhattan. 1212 01:03:04,197 --> 01:03:05,197 [SCREAMS] 1213 01:03:07,909 --> 01:03:09,910 [CLOCKS TICKING] 1214 01:03:26,552 --> 01:03:27,385 [YAWNS] 1215 01:03:50,409 --> 01:03:51,701 [RUMBLING] 1216 01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:04,089 Oh, no! 1217 01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:08,760 [GULLIVER SCREAMING] 1218 01:04:17,645 --> 01:04:18,603 [BURPS] 1219 01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:20,105 [GRUNTING] 1220 01:04:22,942 --> 01:04:24,276 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1221 01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:34,411 I'm not doing this. 1222 01:04:35,079 --> 01:04:38,790 You got me in the diaper and the dress. I'm not doing teatime with you. 1223 01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:40,834 Go find another doll. 1224 01:04:41,002 --> 01:04:42,586 [GROWLS] 1225 01:04:43,087 --> 01:04:44,087 [FABRIC RIPS] 1226 01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:49,092 Tea! Time for tea! Ha, ha! 1227 01:04:49,260 --> 01:04:50,302 [GRUNTING] 1228 01:04:50,469 --> 01:04:52,012 Okay, we're kissing. 1229 01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:55,807 Gentler. Let's just hold hands or something! 1230 01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,316 [GROANS] 1231 01:05:07,403 --> 01:05:08,111 What's up? 1232 01:05:08,279 --> 01:05:10,488 What kind of toy are you? 1233 01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:12,657 Top Gun G.I. Joe? 1234 01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:14,826 Cool detail. 1235 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:17,037 [GULLIVER YELLS] 1236 01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:31,509 [GULLIVER SIGHS] 1237 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:53,114 [HORATIO GRUNTING] 1238 01:06:08,673 --> 01:06:09,965 HORATIO: Gulliver! 1239 01:06:10,174 --> 01:06:11,883 Gulliver! 1240 01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:14,803 Down here. 1241 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,554 What are you doing here? 1242 01:06:16,722 --> 01:06:19,391 Gulliver, you must return to Lilliput with me at once. 1243 01:06:19,558 --> 01:06:20,934 Forget it, man. It's a no-go. 1244 01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,727 No, you don't understand. Edward has... 1245 01:06:22,895 --> 01:06:24,062 It doesn't matter. 1246 01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:27,524 I may be a hundred feet tall, but I'm not half the size of one of you little guys. 1247 01:06:27,692 --> 01:06:29,192 You have to listen. This is important. 1248 01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:31,528 No, this is where I belong. 1249 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:33,571 As a giant girl's baby doll. 1250 01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:34,906 Hey! 1251 01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:37,200 Stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen! 1252 01:06:38,744 --> 01:06:40,203 Blefuscia has taken over Lilliput... 1253 01:06:40,371 --> 01:06:42,914 and Edward has captured Darcy Silverman of Manhattan. 1254 01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:44,416 What? 1255 01:06:44,959 --> 01:06:46,084 She's... 1256 01:06:46,252 --> 01:06:47,669 Darcy's here? Yeah. 1257 01:06:47,837 --> 01:06:49,129 Oh, no. 1258 01:06:49,296 --> 01:06:52,424 She said she was gonna do the assignment herself. 1259 01:06:52,591 --> 01:06:53,925 She's here because of me. 1260 01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:55,760 It's all because of you. 1261 01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:58,888 How could you lie to us? 1262 01:06:59,056 --> 01:07:00,140 I... 1263 01:07:00,641 --> 01:07:02,559 I was afraid to tell you guys the truth... 1264 01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:07,856 because it was just so great being a big shot for the first time in my life. 1265 01:07:09,775 --> 01:07:11,276 I didn't want it to end. 1266 01:07:11,444 --> 01:07:13,028 Snap out of it, man. 1267 01:07:13,195 --> 01:07:16,948 You think of yourself as this small little thing, but that's not how I see you. 1268 01:07:17,742 --> 01:07:20,285 Think about what you've done already. You saved the princess. 1269 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,288 You single-handedly defeated the entire Blefuscian armada. 1270 01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:25,248 Didn't you? Come on. 1271 01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:27,208 I'm your best friend. 1272 01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:28,585 I wouldn't lie to you. 1273 01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:30,545 You can do this. 1274 01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:33,465 So, take off that dress and let's get out of here! 1275 01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,300 Am I really your best friend? 1276 01:07:36,552 --> 01:07:37,969 You're kind of my only friend. 1277 01:07:38,137 --> 01:07:40,305 Sweet, man. You, too, for me. 1278 01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:41,931 Let's go save Lilliput. 1279 01:07:42,099 --> 01:07:43,266 Yeah, let's go do this. 1280 01:07:44,852 --> 01:07:46,478 Take me with you, yeah? 1281 01:07:47,938 --> 01:07:50,190 One sec. There we go. 1282 01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:52,317 Oopsie-daisy. I got you! 1283 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:55,820 Okay, officer... 1284 01:07:55,988 --> 01:07:59,574 I'm just gonna borrow this parachute if it's okay with you. 1285 01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:02,202 You don't need it anymore. 1286 01:08:04,163 --> 01:08:05,330 Eww. 1287 01:08:07,041 --> 01:08:08,750 [SCREAMING] 1288 01:08:13,005 --> 01:08:15,048 HORATIO: This isn't safe! 1289 01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,279 I'll let you... 1290 01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:39,656 Thanks, Horatio. Good luck. 1291 01:08:39,824 --> 01:08:41,032 I got this. 1292 01:08:43,035 --> 01:08:43,868 Darcy. 1293 01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:45,703 Darce. 1294 01:08:47,706 --> 01:08:49,374 Gulliver! Hey. 1295 01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:50,792 I'm coming over there. 1296 01:08:52,711 --> 01:08:54,337 Gulliver! Shh, shh, shh! 1297 01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:56,714 Are you okay? I can't believe you're here. 1298 01:08:56,882 --> 01:08:59,134 I mean, of all the places, right? 1299 01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:01,886 What... Uh... 1300 01:09:02,054 --> 01:09:03,304 What's up? What's up? 1301 01:09:03,472 --> 01:09:05,557 What's up? What isn't up? 1302 01:09:05,724 --> 01:09:08,393 Can we talk about the inverted whirlpool? Crazy. 1303 01:09:08,561 --> 01:09:10,854 And why is everybody calling me your princess? 1304 01:09:11,021 --> 01:09:13,148 They don't. I think you misheard. 1305 01:09:13,315 --> 01:09:14,315 THEODORE: I see you have... 1306 01:09:14,483 --> 01:09:16,067 returned for your princess. 1307 01:09:16,777 --> 01:09:19,529 He did, right there. He just called me your princess. 1308 01:09:19,697 --> 01:09:21,823 That's because everybody is a princess here. 1309 01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,033 I forgot to tell you, it's just sort of a thing. 1310 01:09:24,201 --> 01:09:26,369 If you wish to speak to your one true love privately... 1311 01:09:26,537 --> 01:09:28,913 we shall cover our ears. 1312 01:09:29,081 --> 01:09:30,039 One true love? 1313 01:09:31,834 --> 01:09:33,751 You told them I'm your one true love? 1314 01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:40,675 Is now a good or bad time to tell you... 1315 01:09:40,843 --> 01:09:43,720 about the crush I've had on you for the last five years? 1316 01:09:45,097 --> 01:09:45,889 Really? 1317 01:09:48,100 --> 01:09:50,101 Yeah, I totally have a crush on you. 1318 01:09:50,269 --> 01:09:53,188 Is that why you bring the mail cart around, but none of the mail is for me? 1319 01:09:53,856 --> 01:09:55,690 Yeah... Ahem. 1320 01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:56,608 Yeah. 1321 01:09:57,151 --> 01:09:58,109 And I... 1322 01:10:00,279 --> 01:10:02,655 I told everybody that you were my girlfriend. 1323 01:10:02,823 --> 01:10:04,282 It's really embarrassing. 1324 01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:05,909 I think it's kind of sweet. 1325 01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:10,622 We must focus because we have to book... 1326 01:10:10,789 --> 01:10:13,541 to the boat and get out of here. We're surrounded by little people. 1327 01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,459 Darcy, listen to me. 1328 01:10:14,627 --> 01:10:18,796 I would love to book with you over to the boat right now, but I can't. 1329 01:10:18,964 --> 01:10:22,300 These little people have grown very large in my heart. 1330 01:10:22,468 --> 01:10:23,968 They depended on me... 1331 01:10:24,136 --> 01:10:25,428 and I let them down. 1332 01:10:25,638 --> 01:10:27,555 And I have to do this first. 1333 01:10:34,813 --> 01:10:36,147 King... 1334 01:10:36,315 --> 01:10:39,442 if it's all right with you, I'd like to be your glorious protector again. 1335 01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:41,319 I don't know. 1336 01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:43,780 How are we to believe anything you say, Gulliver? 1337 01:10:43,948 --> 01:10:46,491 Because my word is my bond. 1338 01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:48,284 This time, for real. 1339 01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:50,954 I promise. 1340 01:10:51,121 --> 01:10:52,163 Gulliver. Hm? 1341 01:10:55,751 --> 01:10:57,001 You work in the mailroom. 1342 01:10:58,003 --> 01:10:59,671 Not today I don't. 1343 01:11:03,842 --> 01:11:05,551 [CROWD CLAMORING] 1344 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:16,896 LILLIPUTIAN: We're all with you, Gulliver. 1345 01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:41,504 Hey, Edward. 1346 01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,466 If I win... 1347 01:11:45,676 --> 01:11:48,136 Lilliput returns to her former glory. 1348 01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:49,887 And if you lose... 1349 01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:52,724 this is what happens to Lilliput. 1350 01:11:52,891 --> 01:11:53,725 [GASPS] 1351 01:11:59,648 --> 01:12:01,024 [GULLIVER GRUNTING] 1352 01:12:10,784 --> 01:12:13,077 Oh, I've made a slight improvement. 1353 01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:19,917 Shocking, isn't it? 1354 01:12:24,381 --> 01:12:25,256 [CROWD GASPS] 1355 01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:26,049 Yeah! 1356 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:29,218 Hey! That's not fair. He's cheating. 1357 01:12:29,762 --> 01:12:31,679 I've got to do something. 1358 01:12:34,433 --> 01:12:35,475 [GROANS] 1359 01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:37,268 EDWARD: Now do what you do best... 1360 01:12:37,436 --> 01:12:39,604 beast, and run along! 1361 01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:42,732 No way. Not today. 1362 01:12:45,944 --> 01:12:47,236 I've always liked you, Gulliver. 1363 01:12:47,404 --> 01:12:49,947 I've always thought we had a real spark! 1364 01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:53,284 Fear not, Gulliver! I'm on my way! 1365 01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:06,714 GULLIVER: Oh! 1366 01:13:10,969 --> 01:13:11,594 [GRUNTING] 1367 01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:13,137 [GULLIVER YELLING] 1368 01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:23,731 Gulliver! No! 1369 01:13:24,775 --> 01:13:27,443 Now stay down this time, beast! 1370 01:13:37,454 --> 01:13:38,496 [YELLS] 1371 01:13:50,342 --> 01:13:52,635 It is on! 1372 01:13:52,803 --> 01:13:54,804 [YELLS] 1373 01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:04,522 Go, Gulliver! 1374 01:14:04,690 --> 01:14:06,023 Yes, Gulliver! Go! 1375 01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:11,612 Yes! 1376 01:14:11,780 --> 01:14:13,948 Go on, Gulliver! You can do it! Get him! 1377 01:14:15,367 --> 01:14:17,034 [EDWARD GRUNTING] 1378 01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:22,331 Help-eth. 1379 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:32,508 Bouche! 1380 01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:34,177 Now, that's a wedgie! 1381 01:14:34,344 --> 01:14:35,803 Yay, Gulliver! 1382 01:14:35,971 --> 01:14:37,388 Yes! Well done! Come on, Gulliver! 1383 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:41,392 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1384 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,060 You did it! Did you see that? 1385 01:14:43,228 --> 01:14:45,021 I wedgied him back to the second grade! 1386 01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:01,913 I'm so, so sorry. 1387 01:15:03,081 --> 01:15:05,583 I hope that you can forgive me for the way that I behaved. 1388 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:08,586 You're not an option... 1389 01:15:11,048 --> 01:15:13,007 you're the most beautiful lady in all the land. 1390 01:15:15,135 --> 01:15:16,344 Who's also super cool... 1391 01:15:17,429 --> 01:15:19,096 and a stone-cold fox. 1392 01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:26,771 THEODORE: Horatio! 1393 01:15:26,939 --> 01:15:28,606 Do you realize what you've done? 1394 01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:34,403 You have committed an act of valiance. 1395 01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:35,947 I hereby... 1396 01:15:36,114 --> 01:15:37,198 give my permission. 1397 01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:48,876 GULLIVER: Yeah. 1398 01:15:52,130 --> 01:15:52,880 EDWARD: Nobody move! 1399 01:15:53,423 --> 01:15:54,465 Halt! Stop! 1400 01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:56,634 I have kidnapped the princess. 1401 01:15:56,802 --> 01:15:58,427 You have been kidnapped. Congratulations. 1402 01:15:58,595 --> 01:16:00,179 Enough with the kidnappings! 1403 01:16:00,347 --> 01:16:01,055 [YELLS] 1404 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,685 Bouche! 1405 01:16:05,852 --> 01:16:07,311 ALL: Bouche! GULLIVER: Yes! 1406 01:16:09,690 --> 01:16:11,232 Listen, I plagiarized all that stuff... 1407 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,568 because I thought you'd never go out with a dude from the mailroom. 1408 01:16:13,735 --> 01:16:15,820 And I'm sorry, that will never happen again. 1409 01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,870 So, yeah, coffee... 1410 01:16:25,038 --> 01:16:27,290 THEODORE: I condemn you and all Blefuscians to the gallows. 1411 01:16:27,541 --> 01:16:29,041 Prepare for war! 1412 01:16:29,209 --> 01:16:29,834 No... 1413 01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:31,002 you prepare for war! 1414 01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:34,672 Oh... I have to do one more thing, real quick. 1415 01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,465 Kings, kings, come on! 1416 01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:38,009 Guys, what is it with you... 1417 01:16:38,176 --> 01:16:39,510 and the executions... 1418 01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:42,263 and the gallows and the stocks... 1419 01:16:42,431 --> 01:16:43,764 ...and the war? 1420 01:16:43,932 --> 01:16:45,683 Seriously, war? 1421 01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:48,519 Why do war? What is it good for? 1422 01:16:48,895 --> 01:16:50,313 Absolutely naught! 1423 01:16:52,357 --> 01:16:53,316 [SINGING] War! 1424 01:16:53,483 --> 01:16:54,275 SOLDIERS: Huh! 1425 01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:57,528 Yeah What is it good for? 1426 01:16:57,696 --> 01:16:58,946 Absolutely naught! 1427 01:16:59,114 --> 01:17:00,698 Say it again, y'all 1428 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:01,866 War! Huh! 1429 01:17:02,576 --> 01:17:03,909 Good God, y'all 1430 01:17:04,077 --> 01:17:05,703 What is it good for? 1431 01:17:05,871 --> 01:17:08,497 I find it good for absolutely nil! 1432 01:17:08,665 --> 01:17:09,707 Oh 1433 01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:13,044 It's an enemy to all mankind 1434 01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:17,048 The point of war blows my mind 1435 01:17:17,215 --> 01:17:19,467 Life is much too short and precious 1436 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,052 To spend fighting wars these days 1437 01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:23,638 War can't give life 1438 01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:25,222 It can only take it away 1439 01:17:26,224 --> 01:17:27,224 War! 1440 01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:28,893 ALL: Huh! GULLIVER: Good God, y'all 1441 01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:32,521 ALL: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! 1442 01:17:32,981 --> 01:17:34,357 GULLIVER: Say it again, y'all 1443 01:17:34,524 --> 01:17:35,524 War! 1444 01:17:35,692 --> 01:17:36,233 Huh! 1445 01:17:36,401 --> 01:17:37,568 Yeah 1446 01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:39,236 ALL: What is it good for? 1447 01:17:39,946 --> 01:17:41,322 GULLIVER: Absolutely nothing 1448 01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:43,407 Listen to me 1449 01:17:43,575 --> 01:17:45,826 Peace, love and understanding 1450 01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:47,995 Tell me, is there no place 1451 01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:50,247 For them today? 1452 01:17:51,917 --> 01:17:54,835 They say we must fight To keep our freedom 1453 01:17:55,003 --> 01:17:58,923 But Lord knows There's got to be a better way 1454 01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:01,550 War! ALL: Huh! 1455 01:18:01,718 --> 01:18:03,010 Good God, y'all 1456 01:18:03,178 --> 01:18:05,054 What is it good for? 1457 01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:06,013 GULLIVER: Tell me 1458 01:18:06,181 --> 01:18:08,516 Say it, say it, say oh! 1459 01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:09,892 ALL: War! Huh! 1460 01:18:10,060 --> 01:18:11,268 GULLIVER: Good God, y'all 1461 01:18:11,436 --> 01:18:14,397 What is it good for? Absolutely nothing 1462 01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:16,691 Just stand up and shout it! 1463 01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:17,692 ALL: Huh! 1464 01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,902 [ALL CHEERING] 1465 01:18:37,796 --> 01:18:39,839 You're gonna miss your big friend? 1466 01:18:40,924 --> 01:18:41,632 A little. 1467 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:42,967 Yeah? A lot. 1468 01:18:43,135 --> 01:18:44,427 Oh, dear. 1469 01:18:44,594 --> 01:18:45,720 Oh... 1470 01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:56,772 [MIKE DOUGHTY'S "(I KEEP ON) RISING UP" PLAYING] 1471 01:18:59,651 --> 01:19:02,778 I'll keep on risin' up Well, I'll keep on risin' up 1472 01:19:02,946 --> 01:19:04,321 How was Papua, New Guinea? 1473 01:19:04,489 --> 01:19:06,782 It was hot, sticky... 1474 01:19:06,950 --> 01:19:10,119 and the most mind-boggling place I've ever seen. 1475 01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:13,831 The most mind-boggling place you've ever seen? 1476 01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:17,001 Okay, second most mind-boggling place. 1477 01:19:17,878 --> 01:19:18,669 Oh. Sorry. 1478 01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:19,754 Danny! 1479 01:19:19,921 --> 01:19:21,172 Got your morning mail, Gulliver. 1480 01:19:21,339 --> 01:19:22,548 [SPEAKS IN GERMAN] 1481 01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:23,924 DAN: Darcy. Who's your friend? 1482 01:19:24,634 --> 01:19:27,344 I'm Mark. I'm just the new guy in the mailroom. 1483 01:19:27,721 --> 01:19:29,346 Whoa, just the mailroom? 1484 01:19:29,514 --> 01:19:31,348 Mailrooms are where it's at. Right, Dan? 1485 01:19:31,516 --> 01:19:33,768 Yeah, I don't know why you would say that. 1486 01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:35,436 That's where all the greats start. 1487 01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:38,314 Remember, there's no small jobs. 1488 01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:40,608 Just small people. 1489 01:19:40,776 --> 01:19:44,361 Teeny, tiny, teeny little people. 1490 01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:47,239 Remember I told you that? There are no small jobs. 1491 01:19:47,407 --> 01:19:48,532 Just tiny, tiny, people. 1492 01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:49,950 Can I take you to lunch? 1493 01:19:50,118 --> 01:19:51,410 Of course you can... 1494 01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:55,790 my fair princess. 1495 01:19:57,042 --> 01:20:00,377 I'll keep on risin' up Well, I'll keep on risin' up 1496 01:20:01,046 --> 01:20:03,839 Every day, I'm risin' up 1497 01:24:38,448 --> 01:24:40,449 [English - US - PSDH]