1 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,995 Are you kidding me? 2 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,272 Oh, Josh! Sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,794 That's all right. 4 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,632 Office holiday breakfast. 5 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,496 You guys have parties at 10:30 in the morning? 6 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,748 Less liability. 7 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,376 Apparently, people don't get drunk before noon. 8 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,595 - Mmm. - It's boring as shit. 9 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,631 But the partners want us there, so... 10 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:12,954 Sure. 11 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,837 Anyways, after a year of negotiation, 12 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,109 your divorce is finalised. 13 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,312 These are the terms we agreed to. 14 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,959 The alimony, 15 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,952 the house. Sorry. 16 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,956 Don't worry about it. It's only money. 17 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,638 It is only 18 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,158 all of the money. 19 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,911 But it's the season for giving, right? 20 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,518 I know how you feel. 21 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,711 Oh, yeah? I didn't know you were divorced. 22 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,592 Oh, God, no. That'd be crushing. 23 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,955 - Hmm. - But I get it. 24 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,957 On one level, it must seem like, uh, 25 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,991 "I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life 26 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,792 "that I'm never getting back." 27 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,552 That's it? No other level? 28 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,916 - No, that's it. Uh, initials. - Oh. 29 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,956 Hey. There are good things ahead for you, okay? 30 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,513 - Yeah. Oh. - Come here. 31 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,751 - Thank you. Thanks, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 32 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,951 - Hey, what's this? - My final bill's in there. 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,951 - Is it? - Oh, also my holiday card. 34 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,752 The wife had me and the kids dress up 35 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,717 like members of One Direction. Pretty fun. 36 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,951 Mmm. Dynamite. 37 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,953 Yes, Mum, it is all done. I am divorced. 38 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,518 Well, you should tell Dad 39 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,989 that she is not coming over for Christmas. 40 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,959 Why? Because we're divorced, Mum! 41 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,070 Well... Oh, Mum, don't worry about that. 42 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,354 I'm still gonna be fun. 43 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,598 I'm still gonna be fun Uncle Josh, you know? 44 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,151 Well, without doing that. 45 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,794 No, you can leave the Santa suit in the attic. 46 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,193 Why? Because I'm an adult 47 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,550 and dressing up as Santa Claus would be embarrassing. 48 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,191 Hi. Unless, you know, you're doing it for charity. 49 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,318 Then it's... Then it's, um... 50 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,549 Sorry. 51 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,119 Tell Dad that I love... Oh! 52 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,599 That's lucky. 53 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,756 Just put me down for five bucks, okay? 54 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,960 Hanging up, Mum. 55 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,359 Hey, Carla, good morning. 56 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,256 You see something over there? What do you got? 57 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,315 I think that Starbucks 58 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,936 - attracts a bad element, Josh. - Oh, yeah. 59 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,518 Listen. Give me the green light... 60 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,776 - Mmm-hmm. - And I'll shut it down. 61 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,836 Oh, I love that initiative. It's awesome. 62 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,712 Could you sign me in real quick, please? 63 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,496 I wish I could, but they got us sending you 64 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,078 through these machines now. 65 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,748 Gonna replace my ass, matter of time. 66 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,955 That's never gonna happen. 67 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,616 These machines don't have your smile, Carla. 68 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,312 Make that money! 69 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,518 Josh, we have a situation. 70 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,950 Mary! How do you always just appear? 71 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,160 You're like a human pop-up ad. 72 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,919 Did you read my latest memo on appropriate work dress? 73 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,712 Uh, almost done. Don't ruin the end. 74 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,080 Well, some people didn't. And those people are Meghan. 75 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,597 Nobody listens to H.R. 76 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,954 Hey, Meghan? 77 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,957 I thought that I have been clear about 78 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,152 the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt. 79 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,954 - You were serious about that? - It's winter. Can we 80 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,355 put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable? 81 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,079 Are you body-shaming her right now? 82 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,077 Some people here 83 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,272 might find your outfit 84 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,634 offensive. 85 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,955 Well, some people might find your outfit offensive. 86 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,359 And really confusing. 87 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,600 Oh, I thought it was clear. 88 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,154 This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater. 89 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,793 It has Christmas, 90 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,916 Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, 91 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,718 the Buddhist day of enlightenment, 92 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,519 and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included! 93 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,119 Is everyone included? 94 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760 What about, um, what about something for the Satanists? 95 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,952 Jeremy, come on. I... I admire the stand that you're taking, 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,718 but let's schedule the protest rally 97 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:53,936 for after the workday, shall we? 98 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,536 And, Mary, let's let it slide. 99 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,834 Thank you. 100 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,188 Good morning, everybody. 101 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,076 You can't silence us all. 102 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,950 I know why you took a medical leave. 103 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,136 It's hard for me to bring her out in public 104 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,275 because she's so beautiful. 105 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,588 Hey, guys. 106 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,951 People put models on this crazy pedestal, but 107 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,349 I think that's why, you know, Becca fell for me, 108 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,954 because I just treat her like a normal person. 109 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,160 Good for you, man. Hey, so, um, are you gonna be 110 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,794 inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later? 111 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,096 I mean, I just want to make sure you have time 112 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,348 to inflate her. 113 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,589 Okay, Becca's real. 114 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,790 And we're not gonna mix business with pleasure. 115 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,512 Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude. 116 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,794 Oh, my God, did you not... 117 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,349 Oh, no! I mean, I hope she's not imaginary pissed. 118 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,056 You won't get any more imaginary blow jobs. 119 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,274 Right? 120 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,628 Tim. Drew. 121 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,376 Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas. 122 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,400 Let's just try to keep it positive till then, okay? 123 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,096 - We're totally positive. - No, we're all about... 124 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,951 Totally positive that he is full of shit. 125 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,154 Hey... 126 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,398 You bring it on yourself, Nate. 127 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,776 You know, I do have a girlfriend. 128 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,835 I know. 129 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,951 She's a human woman, and we've done it. 130 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,536 Maybe just don't talk about her so much at work. 131 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,936 It's just gonna make those guys jealous. 132 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,440 You know, not only are you their boss, 133 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,953 but you also have a hot girlfriend. 134 00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,995 You know? 135 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,156 - It's too much. I hate you. - Yeah. 136 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,952 - Have a good day. - You, too! 137 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,936 Can you believe corporate raised the price 138 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,188 in the vending machine again? 139 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,548 $2 for ginger ale? 140 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,951 They're trying to crush us like ants! 141 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,198 No, there's a lot of bad energy in this office. 142 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,952 Yo, Josh, what the fuck? 143 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,359 What the fuck, Tracey? 144 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,954 You changed the security code without telling me? 145 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,176 Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit, 146 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,599 and I don't want prying eyes. 147 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,597 I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor. 148 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,349 Chief technical officer, lead systems engineer. 149 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,953 Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows 150 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,791 how to hack the security panel, so 151 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,791 suck my dick. 152 00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,955 Nice. Okay. 153 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,960 What are you working on? 154 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,957 Oh, it's too complicated to explain. 155 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,634 What is that, subroutine for duplex compression? 156 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,951 Don't tell me that's what I think it is. 157 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,599 This is the future of Zenotek. 158 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,240 Hey, we should pitch this to Data City! 159 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,753 That's a theory. 160 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,956 You want to peg the company to a theory? 161 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,271 Man, you used to get excited by big ideas. 162 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,954 Now you just bunt, and ask for the same thing over and over. 163 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,109 I swing for the fences. 164 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,589 And I'm going to change the fucking game. 165 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,960 Okay. I need the specs for the Data City pitch, please. 166 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,078 Already done. Here. 167 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,753 Great. That was fast. 168 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,153 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 169 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,952 - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah. 170 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Really? Because you seem 171 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,616 a little off today. You seem a little weird. 172 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,789 - Well... - Oh, my gosh! 173 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,956 Today is the day, right? Hey! 174 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,918 Congratulations, you're free! 175 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,076 You gonna get a back tattoo and some skinny jeans? 176 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,920 Funds are a little tight, but... 177 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,960 It feels good to be free. 178 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,274 Yeah. 179 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,952 All right. Thank you for this. 180 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,319 - Hey, J. - Yeah? 181 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,391 I got you for Secret Santa again. 182 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,951 I know. I got you, too. 183 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,196 Oh, sweetie, that is so great! Mummy's so proud of you. 184 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,959 Hey, could you put your daddy back 185 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,000 on the phone for a second? 186 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,634 - Hey, Allison. Is he ready? - You fucking motherfucker! 187 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,558 If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend 188 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,751 put my children on her motorcycle one more time 189 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,632 I will Gone Girl you so hard! 190 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,000 - You can go in. - I'll just go in. Thank you. 191 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,136 No, no, no. Don't try and sell this 192 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,309 as some win-win situation. 193 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,840 This is not my first rodeo, okay? 194 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,919 - Is that Data City? - No. 195 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,995 No. 196 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,758 Rick, do you want this deal or not? 197 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,955 Because if you want him, 198 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,949 you're gonna have to pay for him. 199 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,995 It's almost the playoffs, 200 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,838 not the second week of the regular season. 201 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,836 Perfect. It's the right choice. 202 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,712 I am running a train on this league. 203 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,949 I... I don't think that that means 204 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:44,960 what you want it to mean. 205 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,480 I'd love to talk to you about the Data City pitch, 206 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,640 for later on this afternoon? 207 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,600 Yes, but first I want your opinion on something. 208 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,834 We've got kind of a crisis. 209 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,951 This is what corporate wants us to give 210 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,752 everyone for Christmas. Just this. 211 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,518 Yeah, can't hand that out. 212 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,518 And I'm already feeling kind of a 213 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,599 "fuck you" vibe down there, 214 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,000 definitely not Christmas spirit. 215 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,513 I can't argue with you there. 216 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,358 Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit 217 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,953 out of the staff meeting. Come on. 218 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,158 Can we work and walk? 219 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,951 You're not cold without a big coat on? 220 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,712 No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter 221 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,949 so I don't have to wear one. 222 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,514 - Huh. That's a healthy choice. - Not really. 223 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,280 Hey, are you bringing anybody to this wine and cheese thing? 224 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,919 Uh, no, I'll be there solo. 225 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,713 Good. Smart. So you can focus on Tracey, right? 226 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,914 Tracey and I work together. What are you talking about? 227 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,190 I'm just saying. I can't be your work wife forever. 228 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,936 Hey, how fast do you think you'd have to go 229 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,552 - to make that jump? - Uh... 230 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,056 - Boy, I don't know. In a car? - Yeah. 231 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,957 I just never thought about that. 232 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,991 You know, your mind's like a drunk baby. 233 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,240 What do you think, 80 or 90? 234 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,754 What would Vin do? Vin Diesel? Or Tyrese? 235 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,758 They'd never make it, right? It's suicide. Unless 236 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,576 you were going 120, you put a bunch of free weights 237 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,080 in the trunk to even it out, you know, 238 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,951 then you just catch air. Boosh! 239 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,110 "Fuck you, gravity, and you, Dom Toretto!" 240 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,315 Then... 241 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,880 just a smooth landing, like a baby's buttocks. 242 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,951 I'd love to pick this up indoors. 243 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,816 You know, I've only ever seen the first film, 244 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,955 so I don't know if I'm much help to you 245 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,109 in this conversation. So... 246 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,136 Are you serious? Why am I just hearing about this? 247 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,536 We've worked together for eight years. 248 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,994 They only get more fast! More furious! 249 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,958 I love this place. 250 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,192 So, what would people want? Would they like... Ooh! 251 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,915 Is this UV? Is UV good or bad? I forget. 252 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,111 Not good for the eyes, no. 253 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,376 Does it do anything here? 254 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,515 Probably. Is this for 255 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,736 - teeth whitening? - No. 256 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,751 Okay, what about this, right? 257 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,136 Everybody gets stressed at work... 258 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,376 around this time of year. 259 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,515 Huh. 260 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,068 That could get you a sexual harassment suit. 261 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,195 What? Why? 262 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,958 Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas. 263 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,195 This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager. 264 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,709 Yeah, well, it's a circumcised purple penis. 265 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,074 It could be considered sexual. 266 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,315 Why is it like that? 267 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,391 Everything here could be considered sexual. 268 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,392 Hey, what about this for Alan from legal? 269 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,296 Well, Alan's bald. 270 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,896 It's so hard to shop for the bald. 271 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,160 Who are they? What do they want? 272 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,829 Hair. 273 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,056 You know, maybe we should just go get some gift cards. 274 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,559 That's exactly what we should do! 275 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,954 "Here's a gift card because I don't know you 276 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,110 "and I don't care and I won't get in trouble for it." 277 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,576 You know, when my dad ran this company, 278 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,318 Christmas was actually a big deal. 279 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,880 At the Christmas party every year, 280 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,955 he would dress up like Santa Claus, 281 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,757 get everybody fucked up. 282 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,949 Yeah, you could back then. 283 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,791 He would throw gifts into the crowd. 284 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,952 Derek Peterson shattered his femur for a rotisserie set. 285 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,080 And that was before Boston Chicken was, like, a thing. 286 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,400 - I've heard those stories. - He took care of them. 287 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,399 That's what I want for my people. You know? 288 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,193 And I want that drone. 289 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,992 Clay, let me ask you a question. 290 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,637 You think that my management style is... Is too careful? 291 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,110 Uh, do you think that I bunt 292 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,952 instead of swing for the fences? 293 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,111 I want to be completely honest with you, Josh. 294 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,601 I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't hear your question. 295 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,440 - I can repeat it. - I'd rather you didn't. 296 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,915 Because I can tell by your face that it's serious. 297 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,632 And I want to tell you seriously, 298 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,956 it's almost Christmas. Relax. 299 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,758 - You want some of this? - I think so. 300 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,296 - I don't think you do. - You sure? 301 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,520 I think you better get moving. 302 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,754 Uh-oh. Here he goes! 303 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,193 Huh? 304 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,390 Eat that! Eat it, Clay! 305 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,240 Careful, careful, careful! 306 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,917 We're good. 307 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,514 Oh, no! 308 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,835 Oh... 309 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,710 Hey! 310 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,076 Ooh, somebody is getting fired. 311 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,150 Hey, uh, Allison? Right? 312 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,919 - Yeah. - I'm Fred. 313 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 I just joined accounting. 314 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,589 Hi. 315 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,518 Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk. 316 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,715 Are those your kids? 317 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,916 - Yep. They're two and four. - Oh. 318 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,712 I'm a single mum. Ugh. 319 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,149 That's great. 320 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,589 - I was raised by a single mum. - Really? 321 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,240 Yeah. If you ask me, Tupac was right. 322 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,696 "Ain't a woman alive 323 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,358 "that could take my mama's place." 324 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,793 I don't know that song. 325 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,554 Oh, shit. 326 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,354 Allison. 327 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,280 - Where's Clay? - He's unreachable. 328 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,989 He's participating in a conference... Summit... 329 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,958 Elon Musk, uh, 330 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,840 tech participation... Relay. 331 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,399 Let's try that again. 332 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,959 Allison, where's Clay? 333 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,957 - He's Christmas shopping. - Okay. 334 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,839 I would like all department heads 335 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,837 in the conference room in five minutes. 336 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,736 Tell him to stop looking at me. 337 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,795 Look away. 338 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,957 Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh. 339 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,389 Actually... 340 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,710 It's like the calling never stops. 341 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,512 I know. It's so annoying. 342 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,992 Ugh! You have got to be shitting me. 343 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,119 So the bartender says, 344 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,936 "We don't see many gorillas." And the gorilla says, 345 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,394 "Well, at $12 for a martini I can see why not." 346 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,959 You know a lot of gorilla jokes. 347 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,110 - Yeah. - Excuse me. 348 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,994 What's going on? Something's off. 349 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,958 Yeah, everyone's working. 350 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,153 Oh, shitster. 351 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,953 It's my sister. 352 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,949 There she is! My sister from another mister! 353 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,319 I'm kidding, our mother 354 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,696 didn't start having affairs until the mid-90s. 355 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,755 What are you doing here? 356 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,758 Well, we were just going over your fourth quarter earnings. 357 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,496 And I wondered if I was missing something. 358 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,748 Probably. 359 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,911 Clay, why don't you have a seat? 360 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,189 Uh, no. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand. 361 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,909 Fine. 362 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,958 Allison, would you please remove Clay's chair? 363 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560 - Uh, sure. - Thank you. 364 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,960 Sorry. 365 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,954 Thank you, Allison. 366 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,952 So we were all a little bit disappointed 367 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,196 not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter. 368 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,392 But 6.5% is right on industry standard for the fall. 369 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,951 Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%. 370 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,311 - Twelve? - Twelve is the new seven. 371 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,629 - What? - Since when? 372 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,079 Since Dad died 373 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,832 and the board made me CEO. 374 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,951 Oh. You mean interim CEO. 375 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,153 Shut up. Listen, essentially, this branch is failing. 376 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,958 6.5% is not failing. 377 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,115 Yes, it is. 378 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,376 We're doing better than Orlando. 379 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,959 I mean, half those jack-offs had mono last year, right? 380 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,958 Well, I closed the Orlando branch. This morning. 381 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,189 What? 382 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,314 I am sorry. 383 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,752 Damn it. I hate tension, and I... 384 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,315 I farted. 385 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,595 - Wow. - You are not 386 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,948 selling enough servers. 387 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,950 You have no new ideas and there is no new revenue. 388 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,197 - I have something new. - Really? 389 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,958 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 390 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,896 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 391 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,512 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 392 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,948 - Uh, we can hear you. - Yeah, sorry. 393 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,951 We can. It's a completely silent room. 394 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,354 Go ahead. 395 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,790 What's the most annoying thing about the Internet? 396 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,919 - Pictures of people's kids. - Linkedln invites. 397 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,110 My girlfriend's always on it. I have a girlfriend. 398 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,959 The lack of Asian male representation in porn. 399 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,116 Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield. 400 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,390 Oh, you know that orange with the human dick? 401 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,959 Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank? 402 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,440 Can you just get to the point, please? 403 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,388 - It's getting on the Internet. - Mmm. 404 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,776 So we can already connect to the Internet 405 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,949 through standard electrical lines 406 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,837 and obviously we can do it through the air. 407 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,998 But what if we could combine those technologies? 408 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,078 With Zenotek AnywAir, 409 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,536 you can pull the Internet wirelessly 410 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,835 from anything that's connected to a power grid. 411 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,313 Your appliances. Street lights. A light bulb. 412 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,957 You're never out of range, and you're never low on signal. 413 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,798 It's AnywAir. 414 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,359 We're in the future. 415 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,598 And you can deliver that? 416 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,189 I'm still figuring out some coding issues, but yes. 417 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,956 Well, how long have you been figuring? 418 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,951 - Four years. - Four years? 419 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,390 All right, well, that doesn't sound very real to me. 420 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,710 Well, if it was real, I wouldn't have to invent it. 421 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,119 I'm sorry, 422 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,111 - what's your name again? - Tracey Hughes. 423 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,315 And if you forget again, 424 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,200 it's on all of the recent patents for Zenotek. 425 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,069 Mmm-hmm. 426 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,388 You know what? I'm gonna sit. 427 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,313 Not because you told me to, but because I 428 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,109 prefer it. 429 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,189 So... 430 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,755 Mmm-hmm. 431 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,758 - Is there anything else? - Actually, yes. 432 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,999 This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight. 433 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,040 I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda... 434 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,633 That was the MVP last year. 435 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,956 Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench. 436 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,200 I think that pairs better with 437 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,953 the mulled non-alcoholic wine myself, but what do I know? 438 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,558 Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me. 439 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,176 You're having a Christmas party tonight? 440 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,553 Oh, it's not a Christmas party! 441 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,200 It's a non-denominational holiday mixer. 442 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,629 More inclusive. 443 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,150 Well, whatever the fuck it is, it's not happening. 444 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,360 Yeah, it's definitely... Well, it's not "happenin"' 445 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,320 because it happens at 5:30 in the afternoon. 446 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,509 It's just a small thing 447 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,136 that's really important to all of us, but 448 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,515 trust me, it's gonna suck. 449 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,068 No, it's not gonna suck, because it's cancelled. 450 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,514 What? 451 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,511 All branch Christmas parties are cancelled. 452 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,635 It's a waste of money! 453 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,751 Come on. What are you guys not getting? 454 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,837 All right, it's cancelled. 455 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,115 It's not. 456 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,391 Clay! I mean it. 457 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,312 Me, too, Carol. Guys, 458 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,816 the holiday mixer is cancelled. 459 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,909 Yes. 460 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,391 Hey! It's cancelled, Clay! 461 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,959 The thing is not happening at all. 462 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,096 I'm not messing with you. 463 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,633 Hey! Stop doing that! 464 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,990 Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you. 465 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,949 I saw that! You whispered to the farty cheese lady. 466 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,995 Well... 467 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,550 Don't make me pull rank, Clay. 468 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,154 It is cancelled. 469 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,759 Fine! 470 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,115 Then this meeting is cancelled! Huh? 471 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,712 Damn it! 472 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,798 I was keeping it light in there. 473 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,955 That was light, huh? 474 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,957 You have to give her a break, Josh. She's hated parties 475 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960 ever since she started not getting invited to them. 476 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,515 Please. That party's the least of your problems. 477 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,189 Is that Dad? 478 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,277 No, Carol, I just have some random guy's 479 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,839 ashes in my office. 480 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,960 Got it online. 481 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,072 Yes. He wanted them here, with me, at his branch. 482 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,710 I thought they were gonna divide him equally. 483 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,936 It's not my fault that he always liked 484 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,949 hanging out with me more. 485 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,951 I don't care. I got this company. 486 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,519 Moving on. 487 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,791 We have a lot of big cuts to make. Okay? 488 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,070 Obviously, bonuses are cancelled. 489 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,956 You know, there's a lot of people that 490 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,393 are relying on those bonuses. 491 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,835 I suppose you're still getting your bonus, though. 492 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,951 Secondly, I'm laying off 40% of your staff. 493 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,393 Forty? 494 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,951 Forty? We have 200 employees. That's like, 60... 495 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,596 - Some... - That's 80. It's 80. 496 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,592 Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees. 497 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,789 Uh, you got to give us 498 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,955 a little bit of time to turn this around. 499 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,880 Fine, then you have until the end of the quarter. 500 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,718 - That's two days. - Is it? Oh, well. 501 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,069 This is unfair. 502 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,514 You wanna talk unfair? 503 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,636 How about Dad skipping my Harvard graduation 504 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,960 to go with you to the X Games? 505 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,593 And you weren't even competing. 506 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,790 You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard. 507 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,315 He got the bronze. Which is brown gold. 508 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,776 All right, so I've made a list of my first round of layoffs. 509 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,920 So you might wanna get a pen 510 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,696 - and start writing these down. - No. Let me see that. 511 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,948 - No. No. - Give me that. 512 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,957 - No! - These are my employees! 513 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,936 Guys, are we sure about this? 514 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,279 Say you won't make budget cuts. 515 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,395 I swear to God, Clay! 516 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,696 Here comes the loogie express! 517 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,816 - Don't you dare! - Say, "Everybody's 518 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,840 - "gonna get a bonus," or else. - You motherfucker. 519 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,758 Suck that back in. You suck that back in! You mother... 520 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,951 Clay. 521 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,958 Oh, my God! 522 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,752 Why do you do this to yourself? 523 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,512 You know I took nine years of Krav Maga. 524 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,637 Carol, you know, he's turning blue. 525 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,115 Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out. 526 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,551 Tap out. Tap out. 527 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,311 Okay. 528 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,997 All right. You okay? 529 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,072 Dad gave you a free pass your entire life, 530 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,991 and you're not getting one from me. 531 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,976 The only way you're gonna hit your targets this year 532 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,309 is by cutting jobs. 533 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960 Hey, what if we landed 534 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,558 the Data City account? 535 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,315 - Data City? Walter Davis? - That's right. 536 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,630 You do know that he's already met with HP, 537 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,829 Cisco and Oracle. 538 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,518 Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch. 539 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,749 No. 540 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,956 Josh and I have been drilling into it for weeks. 541 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,957 Yeah. Months. Whole team. 542 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,399 And we have a meeting 543 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,959 - with him this afternoon. - Yeah. 544 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,349 All right. 545 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,271 Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight. 546 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,717 So if by some miracle you guys can close Walter Davis 547 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,956 and his $14 million contract 548 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,951 by the time I land at Heathrow, 549 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,633 the jobs are safe. 550 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,955 Done! 551 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,275 And you'll see, you're gonna look so stupid. 552 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,950 Then we'll finally have something in common. 553 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,590 Goddamn it! She's so mean! 554 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,839 People are saying "cuts." What kind of cuts? 555 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,552 Oh, nothing's official. 556 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,896 Guys, I can barely afford my rent. 557 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,989 I'm sleeping in a closet. 558 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,155 Don't panic. 559 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,376 You can't replace the new guy, right? 560 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,976 You're probably gonna go with people that are older, 561 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,176 - more expensive? - Don't overreact. 562 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,112 I just bought that used Lexus, Josh. I can't give it back. 563 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,793 I put rims on it, man! 564 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,110 I have six parrots with very expensive medical issues. 565 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,315 You know this. 566 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,958 I'm gonna have to put one down. 567 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,837 - Nobody is losing their jobs! - Yeah. 568 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,554 That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise. 569 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,910 Your promises are dog shit! 570 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,554 - Boy, they turned quick. - Yeah, they sure did. 571 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,920 Jesus. Incest and rape? 572 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,713 I mean, that is dark. 573 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,957 That could be a different Clay. 574 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,635 And Carol. 575 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,034 We got to land this pitch. 576 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,197 Okay, everybody knows what we're doing? 577 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,640 Sure. We're just pitching to save our company. No biggie. 578 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,496 And we're proving that my sister doesn't fuck me. 579 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,192 - If anything, I fuck her! - All right. 580 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Yeah, listen, I get the spirit of that, but... 581 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,151 We at Zenotek put the "client" 582 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,955 in client-server model service distribution. 583 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,157 And this is a leave-behind. 584 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,313 And we have some new innovation 585 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,312 that we can talk to you about later. Later. 586 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,712 You got to... You got to go with us. 587 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,399 Okay. 588 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,952 Thank you for the pitch. 589 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,392 Just give me a beat, and I'll let you know my decision. 590 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,913 Okay. When you say "beat," you're talking about an hour 591 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,279 or a day? A full day? 592 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,591 Certainly before the holidays, I'd imagine, right? 593 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,350 Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest. 594 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,190 Your servers are good. 595 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,313 Dell's servers are good. 596 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,273 - So... - You're gonna go with us. 597 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,957 - I'm gonna go with Dell. - Fuck! 598 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,188 - Why? - Don't. 599 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,628 I... I know your product. 600 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,955 My problem is with your culture. 601 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,312 Our culture is great. 602 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,948 That's not what I hear. 603 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,269 Word is you're closing branches and making layoffs. 604 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,272 - That's not true. - No, that's barely true. 605 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,999 A mixture of fabrication and rumour. 606 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,760 Look, I get it. You got to make money. 607 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,916 And every quarter you got to make more money. 608 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,399 And if you got to fire some people 609 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,551 and cut back on some benefits to make it happen, 610 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,751 that's what business is now, right? 611 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,996 And as long as the board has gotten its bonus 612 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,395 and the stock is ticking up? Come on. 613 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,715 Sir, that's not who we are. 614 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,640 If you came to our offices, you would see that. 615 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,040 You should come meet our people. 616 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,520 Yeah, we're a family business. 617 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,840 Everyone loves everyone. 618 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,313 I mean, Clay and his sister, 619 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,960 they're so close it's almost inappropriate. 620 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,190 We would love the opportunity to prove you wrong. 621 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,200 I'm sure you have wonderful cubicles and great carpeting, 622 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,118 but I've done those tours before. 623 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,959 I'm gonna pass. 624 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,995 Um... 625 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,195 Thank you so much. 626 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,389 Oh, we got that. 627 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,596 Oh, no, they've already put it on my room. 628 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:24,936 And in addition to the breakfast 629 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,269 my company won't pay for anymore. 630 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,955 Good luck, guys. 631 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,113 Great. That was uplifting. 632 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,315 He's saying we suck. 633 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,958 Our big closer was a thumb drive. 634 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,960 Yeah, but we don't suck. 635 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,336 We just need a way to show him that. 636 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,536 How are we gonna do that? We're gonna 637 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,520 invite him to our cancelled wine and cheese night? 638 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,073 No, we should take him out for real. 639 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,376 I mean, you heard him. His company 640 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,799 won't even buy him breakfast. 641 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,951 He's an old school guy who drinks scotch at lunch. 642 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,510 We should take him out and show him a great time. 643 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,936 So we'll hook him up with Don Draper, 644 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,896 then go out and get a couple of steaks and an STD. 645 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,911 No, no, no. You're both right. 646 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,949 We show him a great time 647 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,951 at our office Christmas party tonight. 648 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,319 What? I didn't say that. 649 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,959 - It's not the worst idea. - Right? 650 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,176 Of course it is. We don't even have 651 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,269 an office Christmas party. 652 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,080 Carol said no to all discretionary spending. 653 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,951 She wants to lay off 40%. You want to double that? 654 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,552 My sister doesn't do anything at 40%. 655 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,896 She's just cutting off our legs 656 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,955 so we can't run away when she 657 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,400 wants to fucking curb-stomp our face. 658 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,198 This is the way we close Walter. 659 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,440 We throw the best Christmas party he's ever been to. 660 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,755 He loves it, he loves us, he sees we care about people, 661 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,955 he falls in love with our culture, 662 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,995 he wants to work with us. 663 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,191 This is how we save everybody's job! 664 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,197 I like it, Josh. Say yes. 665 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,396 He's walking away, unless you have a better idea. 666 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,000 That's your approval sigh. 667 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,954 Walter? 668 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,358 We have one more pitch for you. 669 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,555 Do you party? 670 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,188 I used to. 671 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,959 Okay, so we have to throw 672 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,951 a massive party from scratch in 673 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,195 five hours. 674 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,176 Yeah. And we got an office full of pissed-off employees. 675 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,296 You guys, I got this. I have a black belt in partying. 676 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,896 That's why I got kicked out of boarding school 677 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,955 and two intensive care units. 678 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,838 Listen. Did you see this? "It's F-ing Christmas, B's. 679 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,188 "Let's get mother-F-ing drunk. 680 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,958 - "Attendance mandatory." - Yeah. 681 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,115 Lawsuit! 682 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,680 Mary, it's for the greater good, okay? 683 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,136 Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour? 684 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,376 Would you get Fred up to Clay's office? 685 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,560 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Thank you. 686 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,953 - Wait! - Yup. 687 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,096 I don't know if it's helpful, 688 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,256 but regarding the music tonight, 689 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,240 I happen to have a friend who's a pretty good D.J. 690 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,954 Great. Bring him. 691 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,952 - See, we already got a D.J. - Yep. 692 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,951 Um, so let me get this straight. 693 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,349 Now we're having this great party 694 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,317 and we're getting our bonuses at it. 695 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,995 Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it! 696 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,191 Maybe you shouldn't have promised them bonuses. 697 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,400 No, first rule of business: 698 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,949 Shoot for the moon and you'll land on the sun. 699 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,712 I'd love to know where you read that. 700 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,320 And let's just focus on closing Walter. 701 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,958 You know, Carol burned this place to the ground. 702 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,996 We are planting the seeds of a new dawn. 703 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,072 Smitty? Clay Vanstone. 704 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,275 No, I'm not dead. That was 705 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,696 just a rumour, although well-founded. 706 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,440 How much alcohol can I legally buy from you? 707 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,755 Move out of my way. 708 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,115 I swear to God, I will drop this on your back. Move! 709 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,719 You know what? 710 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,950 Merry Christmas, you sweet motherfucker. Ah! 711 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,176 - You're coming, yeah, Smitty? - Yes. 712 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,480 - Yes! Okay. You want this? - No. 713 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,589 All right. 714 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,311 I'm keeping this lamb. 715 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,829 We need something else, 716 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,949 something that will make us look cool. 717 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,936 Does anybody know anybody who knows the Kanye West? 718 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,949 No. 719 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,757 But my girlfriend does P.R. for the Bulls. 720 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,256 Okay, does your girlfriend have a friend who knows 721 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,952 the man that makes us call him Yeezy? 722 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,116 Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? 723 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,834 Significant others are welcome at the party. Look at that. 724 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,176 Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca. 725 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,349 Yeah! 726 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,635 Um, oh, shoot. 727 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,752 Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling. 728 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,313 Is she shooting the cover 729 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,958 of Full of Shit magazine? 730 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,311 You know what? She's gonna be there. 731 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,108 You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming! 732 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,394 Shit! Match, match, match. Match! Come on. 733 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,396 Okay. Um, what are we gonna do with these after the party? 734 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,829 Raffle. 735 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,997 For a failing branch, we're surprisingly productive. 736 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,551 Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this. 737 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,955 Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad. 738 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:33,314 Yeah, you're right. 739 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,776 All right, go put on your party suits. 740 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,880 - Yeah. - Tonight's gonna be 741 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:36,960 a great night. 742 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,555 Clay, I told you, 743 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,551 I don't need to do any pre-game for... 744 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,952 - Carol. - Pre-game for what? 745 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,759 For the, uh, work session we got tonight. 746 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,712 And to complete... 747 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,056 We're closing Walter Davis, you know? 748 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,320 It's going really, really well. 749 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,096 - Hmm. - Phase one's complete. 750 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,348 Why don't you come on in? 751 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,880 I thought you were going to London. 752 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,190 I was on my way to the airport, 753 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,118 but I thought I would stop by and 754 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,631 have a tour of your bachelor pad. 755 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,393 Well, that didn't take long. 756 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,552 How did you know about my divorce? 757 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,320 Oh, you changed your emergency contact to "self." 758 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,755 And nobody single by choice 759 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,096 would live this close to the freeway. 760 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,951 Is that robe why your wife left you? 761 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,109 What do you want, Carol? 762 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,952 I want you to work for me in New York. 763 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,951 You basically run this branch without the credit. 764 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,389 I will double your salary, you'll get job security, 765 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,717 and a boss who doesn't end every memo 766 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,949 with a quote from Aerosmith. 767 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,956 I could never do that to Clay, and I'm very happy where I am. 768 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,355 - Really? - Yeah. 769 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,953 I don't see happy. 770 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,750 I see crappy. And a rug that makes me sad. 771 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,153 Anyway, um... 772 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,715 I don't know, 773 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,631 just think about it. When the branch closes, 774 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,952 and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on, 775 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,958 what are you gonna have? 776 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,959 Not much. 777 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,958 Merry Christmas! 778 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,959 - Thank you. - You got it. 779 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,830 Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi. 780 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,315 Eight years 781 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,816 - I've been working here. - Turn around. 782 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,831 What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla? 783 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,120 What's your dream contraband? 784 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,958 I just like making you my bitch. 785 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,837 - You can go. - Thank you. 786 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,952 - Josh. - Wow! You look like 787 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,951 Cinderella, if she joined the TSA. 788 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,913 Very, very nice. Okay, take a look at this, please. 789 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,075 Ooh, who's Mr December? 790 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,513 This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP. 791 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,176 I want you to do me a favour and let me know the second 792 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,360 he comes in. Can you do that? 793 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,136 You will hear the sound of heavy flirting. 794 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,991 Or just a text. That'd be great. 795 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,553 And are you gonna join us later? 796 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,096 No, I doubt it. I have to protect the front lines, 797 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,633 make sure no crazy stuff happens. 798 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,955 But if it does... I'm ready. 799 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,752 And you went with the yellow. Smart. 800 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:10,909 Right? 801 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,553 Hey. 802 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,953 - How's everyone doing tonight? - Great. 803 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,798 - It's my birthday. - Ah. 804 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,355 Really committing. That's nice. 805 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,272 Hey, look at that! 806 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,079 - Hi. - Hey, there, Susan. 807 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,200 - Nice reindeer, right? - How you doin'? 808 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,616 Throw that in coat check for me please. 809 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,278 Thank you. You look great. Oh. 810 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,948 - Hey, Josh. - Hey, Dean. 811 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,800 You... You thought you'd bring the kid, huh? 812 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,275 Yeah. We couldn't get anyone to watch him. 813 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,953 But don't worry, he has an iPad. 814 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,336 We could axe murder each other and he wouldn't even notice. 815 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,590 He'll just sit there with that dumb look on his face. 816 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,393 Yeah, that's the one. 817 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,912 Okay. Well, can you stick him in my office for me? 818 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,554 - If you're cool with that. - Sure. Well, not cool, but... 819 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,716 - Have a good time. - Thank you. 820 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,113 All right. Let's drop him quick, 821 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,589 because these edibles are gonna kick in any second. 822 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,198 - Hey, Mr Parker. - Hey, Rodney. 823 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,958 - Want a Zeno Punch? - No. 824 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,831 - Foam finger? - Uh-uh, neither. 825 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,633 And, you know, we can skip this, too. 826 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,558 - Good spirit, though. Yep. - Okay. 827 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,353 Could I have a beer, please? Pretty great, huh, Jeremy? 828 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,313 Yeah, it's so weird, I feel like I'm still at the office. 829 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,949 Yeah. Oh. Thank you. 830 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,960 God, 831 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,510 I know I haven't asked You for much in this life. 832 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,637 Granted, I was born rich. 833 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,997 And white. And male. And straight. 834 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,631 Except for that one time. But that's Las Vegas. 835 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,758 But tonight I need You to bless this party. 836 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,992 This party has to rock. 837 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,958 So we can get Walter's contract, 838 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,837 so that everyone can keep their jobs, 839 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,190 especially Allison. I mean, she is losing it! 840 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,756 And she has all my personal information. 841 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,076 And so that we can prove my sister wrong. 842 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,196 Show her that I am a good boss. 843 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,951 And will You say hi to our dad? 844 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,551 And tell him we really miss him. 845 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,551 And that I'm rocking his Santa suit. 846 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,440 Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie 847 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,953 how much they meant to everybody. 848 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,951 I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain... 849 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,115 They know. 850 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,594 All right, 851 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,717 let's light this fucking candle. 852 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,836 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek! 853 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,558 It's me, Santa Claus! 854 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,952 I'ma comin' to town for an epic night. Yay! 855 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,949 Santa! 856 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,952 That's okay, we'll get there. 857 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,712 Watch this, Greg. 858 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,590 Dean! Clear. I'm coming around. 859 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:51,635 Oh, shit. 860 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,354 Oh, God. 861 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:57,959 It's okay! 862 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,956 It's okay! That was part of it. 863 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,270 Okay, Santa, what an entrance! 864 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,520 Oh! Right down the chimney, folks! 865 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,393 Merry Christmas, bitches! Santa can't be hurt. 866 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,976 You doing okay? You all right? 867 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,536 - That really did hurt, yeah... - Are you sure? 868 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,200 But you know what, I had this for padding. 869 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,357 Holy shit. What the fuck is that? 870 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,936 Tell me that's not for something illegal. 871 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,296 No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine. 872 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,958 I rented one of those Money Tornados. 873 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,399 So for the bonuses later, 874 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,096 I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane. 875 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,616 Are you sure you're not getting carried away? 876 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,296 This seems like a lot of money you're spending. 877 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,958 Josh, this is Christmas, okay? 878 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,953 And if anybody knows how to work within a budget, it's me. 879 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,393 All right? And speaking of. 880 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,513 There you go. Hi. 881 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,949 - Cool. - Little Jesus. 882 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,952 - Did you rent a live baby? - Yeah, for the nativity scene. 883 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,952 What? It's cheaper than you think, okay? 884 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,314 Is it? 885 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,393 Oh, shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight! 886 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:51,955 Oh, God, no. 887 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,995 Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis. 888 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,631 Joel's friend looks just like Joel. 889 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,952 Ooh! Looks like some babies getting made tonight! 890 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,590 I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight. 891 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,960 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 892 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,150 Joel, that's a red card for you. 893 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,191 Um, babies are not getting made tonight, 894 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:13,958 not here on company property. 895 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,360 If you're going to have intercourse, 896 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,198 please go beyond the flood lamps 897 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,719 at the perimeter of the plaza 898 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,956 and into the Rite Aid parking lot. 899 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,794 That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight! 900 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,552 Joel. Language. 901 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,990 This is still an office, and 902 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,749 even though it's dark outside, the rules don't turn off. 903 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,753 The rules may not turn off, but your inhibitions can! 904 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,496 I'm talking about take your pee-pees out 905 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,953 and put 'em in some booties! 906 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,068 And remember that tonight the decisions you make 907 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,158 will have consequences that will haunt you 908 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,077 for the rest of your professional lives. 909 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:48,914 And, um... 910 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,758 And so have fun. 911 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,951 Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up! 912 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,392 Main takeaway: If you're gonna fuck, 913 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,709 do it in the parking lot. 914 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,791 Turn it up! 915 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,633 - Hey. - Hey! Someone cleans up nice. 916 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,949 Oh... 917 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,952 Yeah, I... I'm wearing the same clothes, from earlier. 918 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,590 Oh, yeah. I was just making a party joke. 919 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,552 I didn't want to go all the way home 920 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,074 and then come back, so I just sat in my car and worked. 921 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,512 Oh, also I was waiting for my phone to charge. 922 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,952 Oh. So you're all charged up! 923 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,315 What? 924 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,591 I said you're all charged up. 925 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,279 Yeah, my phone. 926 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,319 Hey, the music is really loud. 927 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,958 Do you want to go somewhere and talk? 928 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,311 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 929 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,079 This is Zenotek. 930 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,918 Oh, shit! 931 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,837 That's Jimmy Butler right there! 932 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,313 Who's Jimmy Butler? 933 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,313 Two-time All-Star. Best player on my fantasy team. 934 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:03,954 Fuck you, Butler! 935 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,991 I don't know why I said that. Oh, fuck. 936 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,360 These are great. You know what? 937 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,799 Why don't you give me your number 938 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,000 and I'll text these to you. 939 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,753 Excuse me. Hey. Hi. 940 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,951 - Jimmy, hey, this is Josh. - Hey. How you doing? 941 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,632 So you the big man around here, huh? 942 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,910 I'm not that big, no. I'm feeling small right now. 943 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,552 Look at this. Good for you. 944 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,109 Here's the big man! 945 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,594 Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone. 946 00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,520 Thanks for coming to our Christmas party, man. 947 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:25,959 Of course. I've been trying to expand 948 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,154 the Jimmy Butler empire 949 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,395 into the tech space. 950 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,936 I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app. 951 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,951 - Maybe Butlerbook? - I like it. 952 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,956 - Jimmyface? - These are all good ideas. 953 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,176 Do you want to see the first processor that we ever made? 954 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,320 It's as big as a mini-fridge and it used to set fires. 955 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,976 It's upstairs with the good tequila. 956 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,069 - Of course. - Casamigos. 957 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,480 I'll save some for you. 958 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,791 Geek yourself out! He's really into technology. 959 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,712 Will you remind me, how do you know 960 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,915 Jimmy Butler again? 961 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,120 Remember, I told you my friend does P.R. for the Bulls? 962 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,793 - Yes! Yeah. - Right. 963 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,591 I thought that bringing a famous basketball player 964 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:56,789 would help with Walter. 965 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,400 - Ah. - You're cool with that, right? 966 00:38:58,960 --> 00:38:59,960 Why wouldn't I be cool? 967 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,176 It's the greatest idea in the world. 968 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,315 Of course I'm cool. 969 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,833 - Very cool. Please. - Okay. 970 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,951 Yeah. Mr Cool. I graduated valedictorian 971 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,791 from Cool University! 972 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,951 Good old C.U. 973 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,795 Mmm-hmm. 974 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,709 Okay. 975 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,069 "C.U." later! 976 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,957 Oh, Josh. 977 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:39,909 Savannah? 978 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,991 I think you mean Becca, right? 979 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,838 Uh... 980 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,110 I'm gonna be honest, I've never done this before. 981 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,958 Although my mum and I have watched 982 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,360 Pretty Woman, like, a million times. 983 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,632 Oh, I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this. 984 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,959 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 985 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,393 It feels kind of dirty. 986 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,959 You feel dirty? 987 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,996 You're my third client tonight. It's only 9:00 PM. 988 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:02,595 Oh, really? 989 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,110 So, um, you just have to pay my manager, 990 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,952 and then we're, like, good. 991 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,995 Oh, yeah, um... 992 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,188 Got it right here. 993 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,958 Hi. Nate. 994 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,188 - Nate? - Yeah. 995 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,639 Hi, I'm Trina. 996 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,394 I don't do handshakes, I do hugs. Get in here! 997 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,552 Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have 998 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,312 so much fun tonight. I can feel it. 999 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,959 - You're already a couple. - Hope so. 1000 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:36,949 Already. 1001 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,598 - Is this for me? - Um, yes, ma'am. 1002 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,792 Oh, my gosh. Look at him. Prepared. I love that. 1003 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,949 I'm not even gonna count it. 1004 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:43,995 - You know why? - Mmm-mmm. 1005 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,311 - 'Cause we're friends, right? - Yeah. 1006 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,317 Yeah, we're not fucking friends. 1007 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,594 Oh, my God. 1008 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,756 So if you're thinking of fucking with me, 1009 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,273 or with my girl, 1010 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,757 don't. Because I'm hella stressed out right now. 1011 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,110 This week has been a scheduling nightmare! 1012 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,754 My iCal crashed, 1013 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,354 and now all my appointments are set in 2019. 1014 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,955 And in Hebrew. 1015 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,195 It's a flawed program. I've been saying this for years. 1016 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:08,958 Shut up. 1017 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,633 My point is, 1018 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,952 if one more person pisses me off... One more... 1019 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,952 I don't know what's gonna happen. 1020 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,798 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 1021 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,111 We're clear? 1022 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,953 Okay, so now, um, just have a good time. 1023 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,392 If you use handcuffs, have a spare key, okay? 1024 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,314 Jesus, we do not want to go through Thanksgiving again. 1025 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,440 Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour, 1026 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,629 I'll be at Whole Foods. 1027 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,795 Okay. 1028 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,952 Alexei, open my fucking door! 1029 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,960 Come on. Let's go meet your friends. 1030 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,951 I can close it myself! 1031 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,072 I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus. 1032 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,749 Okay, Clay, incoming. I just got a text from Carla. 1033 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,056 Walter's on his way up. This is it. 1034 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,296 Okay, okay. So we need an employee 1035 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,576 to sit on my lap right when he comes up. 1036 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,953 A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy. 1037 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,995 Uh, sure, great plan. 1038 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,555 Great. Good, good. Here. You try and get this on. 1039 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,954 Hey, Walter! 1040 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,558 - Welcome to Zenotek. - How are you? 1041 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,834 I'm so glad you came. 1042 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,056 Good to see you. Can I take your coat? 1043 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,896 - No, no, I'm good, actually. - You sure? Okay. 1044 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,936 All right. Walt, what would you like to get started with? 1045 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,949 You know, we got a photo booth. 1046 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,076 It's like getting your picture taken in a tiny house. 1047 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,269 We love it. 1048 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,078 Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here! 1049 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,191 Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here. 1050 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,400 What? Come on! Where is he? 1051 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,920 Do you want to take a selfie with him? Everyone's doin' it. 1052 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,518 You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually. 1053 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:25,948 - Oh. - There's a good team. 1054 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,680 - This was a mistake. - Hang on. Hang on. 1055 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,835 No, no, no. Come on. 1056 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,996 Now, a mistake would be to miss the salmon station. 1057 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,269 Do you like salmon? Huh? 1058 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,717 You want to swim upstream with me and go try some salmon? 1059 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,712 What does that even mean? 1060 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,816 You know what? Let's start with a drink. Come on. 1061 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,400 Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay, you want a drink with Walter? 1062 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,631 One vibrator, please. 1063 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,553 Okay. Here you go. 1064 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,360 - It's really a body massager. - No, it's a vibrator. 1065 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,750 Hey, Josh! 1066 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,712 Oh, hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy, 1067 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,074 our customer service manager. 1068 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,714 Hi, nice to meet you. Mary just fucking cited me! 1069 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,273 Okay? I thought this was a party. 1070 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,909 If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. 1071 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:02,995 That's a timeless gag! 1072 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,951 - Never not funny! - Okay, off you go. 1073 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,959 She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, 1074 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,272 like, just seeping into everybody's good time. 1075 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,274 Every word she says makes my fucking haemorrhoids throb! 1076 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,950 - I want that on the record. - It is. 1077 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,759 He's in customer service? 1078 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,976 Yeah, he's much better on the phone. 1079 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,640 That's really where he shines. Here we go. 1080 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,951 Hey, can we get a scotch? Um, Macallan, right? 1081 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,311 Uh, no, dude. It's the eggnog luge. 1082 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,313 Oh. Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well... 1083 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,398 Uh, looks like fun. Ladies first. 1084 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,552 - Josh, I insist. After you. - Well, I'm not much on eggnog. 1085 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:37,976 Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr Fun. 1086 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,309 He'll do anything for the party. So, come on! 1087 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120 Hey, everybody! Josh is gonna do the luge! 1088 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,118 No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me. 1089 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,120 Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! 1090 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,312 It looks like they want you to do it. 1091 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,118 Should I do it? I'll do it. 1092 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,949 I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it. 1093 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,276 This the luge right here? Here we go. 1094 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,554 Here we go... Here we go... 1095 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,515 Mmm-hmm. 1096 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,915 Mmm. 1097 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:14,960 Oh, God. 1098 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,954 Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn. 1099 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,149 Where'd Walter go? 1100 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,793 I totally got you deep throating him. 1101 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,336 Oh, well, look at that. That's beautiful. 1102 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,590 Where'd Walter go, huh? Clay, did you see Walter? 1103 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,496 I don't know about that whole throne thing. 1104 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,760 I mean, nobody liked the gifts, 1105 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,976 everybody was complaining and the lap-sitting got weird. 1106 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,115 Oh, no. 1107 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,269 What's happening? 1108 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,536 Well, it's just not working. 1109 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,696 If you took away everybody's drinks 1110 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,789 and turned up the lights, 1111 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,816 it just looks like we're at work. You know what I mean? 1112 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:39,955 We need to get amped up. 1113 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,757 We need to get them interacting. 1114 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,736 You guys should do what you did at the party last year. 1115 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,954 No. Not doing that. Come on. 1116 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,189 No, that was lame. 1117 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,176 No, no, it was fucking awesome! People loved it! 1118 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,394 It wasn't. And they didn't. 1119 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,993 Do it for the company. All right? 1120 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,839 I'm gonna go give Walter party mouth-to-mouth. 1121 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,638 Is he crying? 1122 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:56,976 I wanted to give you this pamphlet 1123 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,399 which has a lot of good information 1124 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,955 about the signs and symptoms of sadness. 1125 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,509 When I'm sad, 1126 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,160 I like to remember something my grandma used to sing. 1127 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,995 It's about ducklings. 1128 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,959 Mary, you wore a blue coat, right? 1129 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,952 - No, I wore my beige poof. - Oh, that's it. 1130 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,160 It's probably not a big deal, 1131 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,191 but I saw Meghan rifling through all the pockets. 1132 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,119 No, no, no, no. My Bath & Body Works coupons! 1133 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,391 Walter. Clay Vanstone, remember? 1134 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,629 - Hey. - How are you? 1135 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,593 - I want to show you Zenotek. - Ah. Yes. 1136 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,358 You're a very expressive dancer. 1137 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,120 Oh, thanks. Let me know if you want me 1138 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,957 to dance, like, sexy or something, you know? 1139 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,000 - Yeah. No, we're good. - Okay. 1140 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,958 Uh, hey, there's actually some guys I want you to meet. 1141 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,149 Okay, great. 1142 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,336 Let's just work out the money thing first, though, yeah? 1143 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,396 Uh, I already gave Trina $200. 1144 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,136 Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour. 1145 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,576 If you want me for the rest of the night, 1146 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,953 it's gonna be another $2,000. 1147 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,953 - Two grand? No. No way. - Yeah. 1148 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,336 The website clearly said 1149 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,191 it was $200 for the whole night. 1150 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,834 Do I look like I'm $200 a night? 1151 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,350 Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay? 1152 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,954 Okay. Give me your watch as collateral. 1153 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:26,960 It's my grandmother's. 1154 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,155 I don't care. 1155 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,349 Shit. 1156 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,275 Holy shit. 1157 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,273 That was just how daddy likes it. 1158 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,395 Mmm-hmm. 1159 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:44,789 Check it out. 1160 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,276 You're a fireman. 1161 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,918 Must be really nice to have a day care centre at work. 1162 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,155 Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up when I was pregnant. 1163 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,576 I think he just wanted an excuse 1164 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,953 to have Play-Doh in the office. 1165 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,552 - Shall we? - Oh. 1166 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,831 - You are such a good mum. - Aw. 1167 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,755 Thanks. 1168 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,389 I, uh, bet you'd make me finish all my homework 1169 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,152 before I could go outside and play. 1170 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,273 Yeah, especially if you were being naughty. 1171 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,273 Do I need to be punished? 1172 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,956 Well, I guess that depends on your homework. 1173 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,195 I bet you'd make me 1174 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,515 brush my teeth so I don't get any cavities. 1175 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,957 Oh, we're still doing this. Okay. 1176 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,158 I've been a bad boy, Mummy. 1177 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,954 Okay, um, do you have some kind of weird fetish? 1178 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,952 What? No! 1179 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,880 No, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you 1180 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,960 that impression. 1181 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,399 - I just got carried away. - Oh. 1182 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,751 I just really like you. 1183 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,951 Yeah. I really like you, too. 1184 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,592 Something's happening in my diaper. 1185 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,518 - Okay. Fuck this. I got to go. - Huh? 1186 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:07,896 - This is my nightmare. - What? 1187 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,911 - So, yes, I'm in hell. - No, uh... 1188 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,359 - So I'm gonna go. - Mummy! 1189 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,794 I mean, Allison. Don't leave. 1190 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,192 Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person! 1191 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,954 Sorry. 1192 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,309 All right, Nate, this is what you've been saving for. 1193 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:31,959 Who designed this? 1194 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,320 Come on! 1195 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,956 Shit! Fuck me! 1196 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:41,960 Yes. 1197 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,156 I'm okay! Merry Christmas! 1198 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,153 Okay. You ready? 1199 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,916 Okay, you look ridiculous. 1200 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,712 Is it the hat? 1201 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,911 Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody! 1202 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,635 Who's happy about the holidays? 1203 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,951 Okay. Okay. 1204 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,595 Hey, so, um, you dickheads want to buy some cocaine? 1205 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,916 Yeah! We'll do that. 1206 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,831 One cocaine. Want to do it with us? 1207 00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:00,517 Yeah! Yeah! 1208 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,511 I believe in taking risks, Walter. 1209 00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:08,950 Zenotek, my company, believes in taking risks. 1210 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,136 You know what we should do tonight? 1211 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,296 We should do something that scares us. 1212 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,389 Makes us feel alive! 1213 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,949 Do you think you could 1214 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,837 swing across the dance floor with those lights? 1215 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,189 What's that? 1216 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,312 Like, if you grabbed every single strand, 1217 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,616 do you think that you could swing 1218 00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,736 and then time it just right and grab all of those strands, 1219 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,955 then, like Tarzan, make it all the way to my office? 1220 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,951 Merry fucking Christmas. 1221 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,949 You know what? 1222 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,954 This has been really great, and I thank you, but, 1223 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,776 it's time to hit the road. 1224 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,711 Oh. Um, you can't leave yet, 1225 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,120 'cause we're just getting started! 1226 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,952 Hey! You got snow machined. That's meant to be lucky. 1227 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,960 It tastes bitter. 1228 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000 It's just paper products. Let's get you cleaned up. 1229 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,391 Great, great. So I guess we'll just take two 1230 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:10,736 and call you in the morning, then? 1231 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,955 - Is that, uh... - Yeah, don't call me. 1232 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,551 You on Snapchat? 1233 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,556 We'll be up here if you want to come back up here. 1234 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,553 I need some air. 1235 00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,830 Oh, also I have your Secret Santa. 1236 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,069 Oh. Okay. 1237 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,953 What are you doing? 1238 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,599 Pissing off Mary. 1239 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,276 ♪ GreatestPartyEver. ♪OpenBar. 1240 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,919 How do you spell "Hanukkah"? 1241 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:37,712 Wait, who are you sending that to? 1242 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,951 Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago. 1243 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:44,096 You've never been up here? 1244 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:45,155 No. 1245 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,913 This is where I usually am 1246 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,757 during the sexual harassment seminars. 1247 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,837 Oh, it's beautiful. 1248 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,756 Oh, it's colder up here for sure. 1249 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,958 And it's, uh... 1250 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,754 Oh, man, it's higher. 1251 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,117 Maybe let's go... Let's go lower. 1252 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,953 And warmer. Come on. 1253 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,633 - Uh-oh. - No. No, it never locks. 1254 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,150 Wait, no. It never locks! 1255 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,040 I bet you're also never up here 1256 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,348 - at night, right? - No. 1257 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,950 It's all right, I came prepared. 1258 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:21,955 So did I. 1259 00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,593 Your Secret Santa. 1260 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,680 That's a lot better than where I'm keeping mine. 1261 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,315 Excuse me. Mr Vanstone? 1262 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,311 - Have you seen this? - Hi. I'm Rodney. 1263 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,110 We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here. 1264 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,395 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 1265 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,320 - Yes, you can have a job. - Are you serious? 1266 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,631 Yeah, party hire. Junior associate. Congrats. 1267 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,751 Oh, my God. Mr Vanstone, thank you! 1268 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,313 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 1269 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,040 - Oh, my God. Yes? - Hey, Rodney! 1270 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,799 We're gonna get you a new name. 1271 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,000 Done! I'll call my parents. 1272 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,198 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1273 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:54,960 Hey. You okay? 1274 00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,952 Ha! I was down. I was having a bad day. 1275 00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:58,075 But now I'm lifting. 1276 00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,280 I'm seeing things. My mind. 1277 00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,316 The ideas are flying through my mind! 1278 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,278 - I'm feeling strong. - Okay, good. 1279 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,837 - High five. Ha! - Sure. 1280 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:06,995 Ha-ha! 1281 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,554 You can't keep Walter Davis down forever, baby! 1282 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,399 Let's go get fucked up. 1283 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,635 Okay, but not too much. 1284 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:16,954 When I drink, a lot of bad things happen. 1285 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,296 You know, my sister's horse goes missing. 1286 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,117 My car is covered in horse hair and blood. 1287 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,315 Fingers get pointed. 1288 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,994 Smoke PCP as a favour. Beach burns down. 1289 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,792 That ain't never been my problem. 1290 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,831 Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah! 1291 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,838 Oh, shit! 1292 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,256 We're expecting blizzard conditions 1293 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,349 for 12 to 24 hours... 1294 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:12,555 Just get me on a plane. 1295 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:13,959 Get me on any goddamn plane, all right? 1296 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,951 I have enough miles to orbit the sun. 1297 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,720 I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded 1298 00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:18,795 until the snow clears. 1299 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,955 There's nothing more I can do. 1300 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,155 Well, refer me to someone who can do something. 1301 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,952 That would be God, ma'am. 1302 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,831 Oh, Her. 1303 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:28,793 Have a great holiday. 1304 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,960 Shit. 1305 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,637 Did you eat my Cinnabon? 1306 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,754 No. 1307 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,989 Where's your mother? 1308 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,958 Bathroom. 1309 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,952 - What's your name, sweetie? - Darcy. 1310 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:52,155 Oh. 1311 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,955 Hi, Santa. 1312 00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:00,917 Yes, Carol Vanstone. I'm here with Darcy. 1313 00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,113 I know. Terrible name. 1314 00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,757 And she's being a little shit here 1315 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,989 in the first class lounge. 1316 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,599 So I think we should cancel 1317 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,188 all of her Christmas presents this year. 1318 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:12,954 Yeah. And while she's asleep, 1319 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,275 why don't you take that doll, too. 1320 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:16,954 Great. Bye. 1321 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:18,696 May I have your attention, please. 1322 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,075 Due to inclement weather, all flights have been cancelled. 1323 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,509 Shit! 1324 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,313 Fuck you! 1325 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,336 Zenotek, you having a good time now? 1326 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,078 You ready to kick this up a notch, huh? 1327 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,915 Hit me with the horns, Calvis! 1328 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,518 Old school. 1329 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,554 Make some noise! 1330 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,355 Yeah! 1331 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,749 ♪ Here we go now! 1332 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,552 Is this not the best fucking party 1333 00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,119 y'all been to? Come on down! 1334 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,311 ♪ Here we go now! Here we go now! 1335 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,911 ♪ Here we go, here we go! Let me clear my throat 1336 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,952 Yeah, get on up here. 1337 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,720 Give it up for Walter! My main man, Walter! 1338 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,635 Goddamn! 1339 00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,193 Get on up here, Mary! 1340 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,960 Give me the mike. No, no, no. Give me the mike. 1341 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,553 - Give it up for Mary! - No, no. 1342 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,108 Mary, everybody, yeah! 1343 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,633 You got to stop. 1344 00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:25,751 ♪ When I say H, you say R 1345 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,951 ♪ H.R.! H.R.! 1346 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,309 ♪ When I say H, you say R 1347 00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,630 ♪ H.R.! H.R.! 1348 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,956 ♪ And when she says H, you say R 1349 00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,554 ♪ H.R.! H.R.! 1350 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,551 Yeah! 1351 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,156 ♪ If y'all want to party like we do 1352 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,952 ♪ If y'all want to party like us 1353 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,958 ♪ Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1354 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,396 ♪ If y'all want to party like we do 1355 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,959 ♪ If y'all want to party like us 1356 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,352 ♪ Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1357 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,792 Okay, that's part of it. Yeah! 1358 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,040 She's what makes this company great, 1359 00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,918 just like every motherfucker in here! 1360 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,315 ♪ When I say freeze, y'all freeze one time 1361 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:13,959 ♪ Freeze! 1362 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,791 ♪ Now let me clear my throat 1363 00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,588 ♪ Special dedication going out to all the ladies 1364 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:21,960 ♪ And all the brothers in here! 1365 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,959 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1366 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,757 This is fun, right? 1367 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,109 This has turned 1368 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,839 from charming into life-threatening. 1369 00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,832 I cannot believe that they are still not responding. 1370 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,152 At least my death will give my parents 1371 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,280 something to talk about at the meal I'm gonna miss. 1372 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,320 - Going to your parents' place? - Every year. 1373 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,957 This is where not having any family actually pays off. 1374 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,952 I get the whole city to myself. 1375 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,157 It's like some kind of awesome plague came in 1376 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,271 and spared only me and the Chinese restaurants. 1377 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,948 This is useless. 1378 00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,951 You gonna be solo, huh? 1379 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,952 There's not gonna be a stocking on your mantel 1380 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,552 for Jimmy Butler at your place? 1381 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,391 - What are you doing? - Nothing? 1382 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,757 Just asking. You know? 1383 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:21,913 You could have dated me, Josh. 1384 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,240 But you freaked out and ran away. 1385 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,276 I still had PTSD from my marriage just ending, so... 1386 00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,951 You'd been separated for a year. 1387 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,190 - I fucked up. - Yeah. 1388 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,398 Because you're an idiot. 1389 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,313 I'm sorry. 1390 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,758 I have been feeling shitty about it. 1391 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,951 We should've done this a long time ago. 1392 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:55,958 - Yeah. - Right? 1393 00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,834 - Hey, Jeremy. - Huh? 1394 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:06,949 Hey! 1395 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,757 - Hey, man. - What's up, guys? 1396 00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,748 Wow. Good thing I wasn't going number two, huh? 1397 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,319 Yeah. Leave you to it. 1398 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,120 - This is my territory! - Got it. That's clear. 1399 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,278 They can't shut us down! 1400 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,316 We're never gonna get shut down! 1401 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,955 ♪ When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1402 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,111 ♪ Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1403 00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,755 ♪ When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1404 00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,951 ♪ Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1405 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,110 It's a Christmas miracle. 1406 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,956 ♪ When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1407 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,076 ♪ Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1408 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,556 ♪ When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1409 00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,996 ♪ Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! ♪ 1410 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,956 I love this party! 1411 00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,108 I love this company! 1412 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,558 And I want to work with you people! 1413 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:00,958 What did he just say? Did Clay just close Walter? 1414 01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,839 Huh, he really is Santa Claus. 1415 01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,959 Yeah! 1416 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,997 So, Carol. You know, 1417 01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,838 - that's my grandmother's name. - Mmm. 1418 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,552 - No, I did not know that. - Yeah. 1419 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:43,635 Oh. 1420 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,957 It's kind of an old-timey name. Don't really hear 1421 01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:48,952 Carol much anymore. 1422 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,120 It's like... "Hi, I'm Carol. 1423 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,352 "I gotta get home before I miss my stories." 1424 01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,958 "Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about Pearl Harbor on the radio." 1425 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,953 "Hi, I'm Carol. I died in the beginning of Up." 1426 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,988 That movie? 1427 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,716 Sorry, I'm just nervous. 1428 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,589 My first night on the job. On the ol' J.O.B. 1429 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:13,955 - It's your first night? - Yeah. 1430 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:14,960 Driving? 1431 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,280 First night driving the ol' Ubes. 1432 01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,954 It's a pretty sweet gig, though. Make my own hours. 1433 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,798 You know, I could hook you up 1434 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,353 if you want to be an Uber driver. 1435 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,760 I'm good. I already have a job. Thank you very much. 1436 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,957 Yeah, but you could be CEO of your own car! 1437 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,918 I am a CEO. 1438 01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:32,075 Of Uber? 1439 01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,273 Oh, my God. Is this Undercover Boss? 1440 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,588 Is that a camera? 1441 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,155 Am I on ca... Are you wearing a disguise? 1442 01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:40,952 No. This is not Undercover Boss. 1443 01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,798 I am not the CEO of Uber. 1444 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,190 I am the CEO of Zenotek. Please just drive. 1445 01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,999 No shit. I just dropped off, 1446 01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,951 like, four people at that party tonight. 1447 01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,960 I'm sorry? 1448 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,514 They gave me three stars like a bunch of bitches. 1449 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,953 Excuse me. What did you just say? 1450 01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,549 - I said they were bitches. - No, no. What party? 1451 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,320 The party at your office. Everybody's like, "Oooh." 1452 01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,157 - You son of a bitch, Clay. - Yeah, bunch of bitches! 1453 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,952 Can you just... 1454 01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,155 Can you move? Move! 1455 01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,757 The English band, the Optic Monkeys? 1456 01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,136 You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey, 1457 01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,280 you were like, "I can't go," 1458 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:23,536 because you couldn't get a babysitter? 1459 01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,755 Did you hack into my emails? 1460 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:27,598 Get the fuck out of here. 1461 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,916 And never use that British accent again. 1462 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,638 Allison, are you okay? 1463 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:34,592 No! I'm not okay. 1464 01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,951 My ex-husband is dating a stripper, 1465 01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,151 Drew is cyberstalking me, 1466 01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,759 and Fred from accounting 1467 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,910 is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. 1468 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:47,073 Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice? 1469 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:48,713 Of course you do. 1470 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,155 Allison, you're an amazing person. 1471 01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,794 You basically take care of this whole office. 1472 01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:54,949 And you do it every day, 1473 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,951 even though most people don't seem to notice. 1474 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,359 So, yeah, 1475 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,592 you deserve someone nice. 1476 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,960 Baby, 1477 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,078 I got your text. Ooh, I missed you. 1478 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,953 Come on, let's dance. 1479 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,951 Just hang in there. 1480 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,834 Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney! 1481 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,514 Nate! 1482 01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,591 Hey, man. Larry from shipping here 1483 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,976 actually has a really great story 1484 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,274 that he wants to tell you. 1485 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,358 I was in the bathroom washing my face, 1486 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,119 and this girl came in, like, 1487 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,589 "I'll give you a handy for $40." 1488 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:37,955 And the next thing I knew, 1489 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,919 my penis was in her hand and then she starts... 1490 01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,551 Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works. 1491 01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,200 I had no idea you guys were together. 1492 01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:47,959 Wait, what are you talking about? 1493 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,316 So Becca gave Larry a hand job in the men's room. 1494 01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,954 Goddamn it! 1495 01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,117 Ooh, ooh! I'm going next. 1496 01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,830 I'm inspired! I'm going next. 1497 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:03,312 - No, I called it. I called it. - No, no, wait. 1498 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,194 - I'm so happy for you! - Oh, shit. 1499 01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,152 I was about to do my balls! 1500 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:10,955 Hey! What about the 3D printer? 1501 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,753 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah? 1502 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,193 I'm going first, I'm going first! 1503 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,111 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1504 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:53,749 Excuse me. 1505 01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:04,816 Raise your hands if you're keeping your jobs! 1506 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,752 Raise your hands if you're gonna get a bonus! 1507 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:09,834 Excuse me. 1508 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,075 Clay? 1509 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,915 Clay! 1510 01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,593 Oh, fuck. 1511 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,154 Hey, sis. 1512 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:17,589 Hey, hey, hey. 1513 01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,958 Carol, before you get mad, listen to what I did. 1514 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,075 I said no party! 1515 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,976 That's all I said. All you had to do was nothing, 1516 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,150 and you couldn't even do that! Couldn't even do that! 1517 01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:26,952 Carol, Carol, Carol! 1518 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:28,376 This is not what you think, okay? 1519 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:29,594 This is all for a reason. 1520 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,190 Listen. We threw this party for Walter Davis, 1521 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,515 and we closed him, he wants to give us his business. 1522 01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:37,755 - We did it. - See? 1523 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,040 I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss. The party worked! 1524 01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:42,518 - Walter Davis? - Yeah. 1525 01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,360 - Is at this party? - That's right. 1526 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,629 Where is he? 1527 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,389 I don't know. Where was he? He was just on the stage. 1528 01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:49,959 Oh... Guys? Guys! 1529 01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,109 That's not good. 1530 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,073 Here we go! 1531 01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:56,918 Do it! Do it! Do it! 1532 01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,712 No, no, no. Shh! 1533 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,520 - What are you doing? - Hey, that was my idea. 1534 01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,910 - Not relevant. - Walter? Hey, buddy! 1535 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,951 Why don't you come down using the stairs? 1536 01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,150 No. Clay, it's like you said! 1537 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,954 I want to do something that scares me. To feel 1538 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,149 alive! 1539 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,953 Maybe not right now. 1540 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:15,712 What did you guys do to him? 1541 01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:17,148 Let go of those lines, buddy! 1542 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:21,076 I'm the king of I.T. buyers! 1543 01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,109 Whoo! 1544 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:28,313 - Oh! - Shit! 1545 01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:30,355 Oh! 1546 01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:31,953 Oh, God. 1547 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,155 So close. 1548 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:39,909 Hey, Walter. 1549 01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:41,056 You were like an eagle up there. 1550 01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:42,798 You were free. You did it. 1551 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:43,995 Did we win? 1552 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:45,713 Yeah, we won. 1553 01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,111 Zenotek! Zenotek! 1554 01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:49,794 That poor guy. 1555 01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:50,960 What a day he's had. 1556 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,957 First he gets fired and now this. 1557 01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,791 - Wait, what? - Did you say fired? 1558 01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:55,960 Oh, yeah. 1559 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,957 Oh, he got fired at the close of business today. 1560 01:06:57,960 --> 01:06:59,240 He told me, like, two hours ago. 1561 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:00,958 They shipped his whole branch overseas. 1562 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:01,949 What? 1563 01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,757 I confirmed it with my H.R. Facebook group. 1564 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:04,955 And they know everything. 1565 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,080 Excuse me. Just to clarify, because I'm detail-oriented. 1566 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,119 So you didn't get a contract with Walter Davis 1567 01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,630 because he didn't have a contract to give. 1568 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,496 Carol, before you get mad, here's the thing... 1569 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,560 He wanted to work with us. 1570 01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:17,755 - So... - Clay. Clay! 1571 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,955 Yeah? 1572 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,633 I'm not mad. 1573 01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:21,955 You're not? 1574 01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,554 I mean, I was mad when Dad gave you this branch 1575 01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:26,951 just as a reward for taking six years 1576 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,952 to graduate with a degree in... What is it? 1577 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,353 Canadian television theory with concentration in Drake. 1578 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,279 But this doesn't make me mad. 1579 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,557 - I feel relieved. - All right. 1580 01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,959 Because it's over. 1581 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,155 - I'm shutting you down. - Yeah, no, because it's late. 1582 01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,395 Allison got a clean-up crew 1583 01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,696 - for tomorrow. - Uh-huh. 1584 01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:47,712 No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch. 1585 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,269 I'm such a dickhead. I started to like this place, 1586 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,316 and then I get fucked. I get fucked! 1587 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,800 No, no, no. Stop it, stop it. Carol, let's take one beat. 1588 01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:55,949 Look, look, Carol. Carol. 1589 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,176 I fucked up, okay, so blame me. 1590 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,394 But these are good people. 1591 01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,800 You can't close this branch. This is Dad's branch. 1592 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:01,949 Well, you know what? He shouldn't have 1593 01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:03,154 given it to you to fuck up. 1594 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,349 Oh, and, uh, good luck trying to be Mr Fun Guy 1595 01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,597 when you have to fire all these people. 1596 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,755 Whoo! 1597 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,159 I'll see you in New York. 1598 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:14,315 Wait, what? 1599 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,913 Did your little friend not tell you? 1600 01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:16,949 He's coming to work for me. 1601 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,075 Yeah, right. 1602 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,320 I never said yes to that job. 1603 01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,311 I don't recall you ever saying no. 1604 01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,115 Clay. 1605 01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,555 Clay, I never sa... Hey. 1606 01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:32,960 Clay. 1607 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,320 Oh, hey, Clay... You told me you had a two-drink limit. 1608 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,078 Yeah. You're right. 1609 01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:44,757 Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis! 1610 01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,717 Whoo! 1611 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,554 I want to go back to the party! 1612 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,959 Whoo! 1613 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,712 Hey! What the hell? 1614 01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,536 I hired you to pretend to be my girlfriend, 1615 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,596 then you go and give all my co-workers hand jobs? 1616 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,910 You hired me to impress your co-workers, 1617 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:08,080 and he was pretty impressed. 1618 01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,555 - Listen, I want my money back. - Well... 1619 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,153 I'm sorry, what was that? 1620 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,511 I couldn't hear you over my gun. 1621 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,354 - I, um, I want my money back. - Oh. 1622 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,509 I'm sorry. Customer services are not available right now, 1623 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,955 but perhaps I can address your grievance. 1624 01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,155 Um, everything's fine. 1625 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:27,952 Would you say like a five on Yelp, 1626 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,956 or like positive three? 1627 01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:30,960 Five. 1628 01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:32,308 Five? Alexei! 1629 01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:34,709 Uh... 1630 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:36,755 This is so funny. 1631 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,593 Do that thing where you pull his asshole through his face. 1632 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:40,949 Don't please. Shit! 1633 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,190 Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight! 1634 01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,950 Who wants to party with Santa? 1635 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,399 Who the fuck is that? 1636 01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:49,256 You know what, that guy is really rich. 1637 01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,759 And he's really stupid. 1638 01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,816 Well, then what are we doing with Spelling Bee here? 1639 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:54,353 Get outta here. Go! 1640 01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:57,953 Hey, Santa! Wanna party? 1641 01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:01,755 Yeah. 1642 01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,951 Tracey! Tracey! Hey. 1643 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:06,949 Tracey! 1644 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:08,269 Hey! 1645 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:09,995 Tracey? 1646 01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,837 Tracey, are you in here? 1647 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:15,154 Oh, pardon me. 1648 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,555 Hello? 1649 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:17,909 Oh. 1650 01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,190 Josh, it's happening. 1651 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,154 Good for you. 1652 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,273 Hey, Tracey, which one are you in? 1653 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,951 Hi. Carol offered me a job, but in no way did I say... 1654 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,313 Josh. I get it. 1655 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,398 She offered me a job, too. 1656 01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:35,632 - What? She offered you a job? - Yeah. 1657 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:36,835 Triple the salary. 1658 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,552 An apartment overlooking Central Park. 1659 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,956 I got double and moving costs. 1660 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,190 The real difference is I said no. 1661 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,958 Listen, I'm not fighting with you about this. 1662 01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:46,176 It's silly. I didn't take the job. 1663 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,191 Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either. 1664 01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:50,955 Because you need a safety net. Hey, that's who you are. 1665 01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,720 I'm happy for you. You should go to New York. 1666 01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,320 Is that what you want? You want me to go to New York? 1667 01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,551 There's a real human centipede situation 1668 01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,760 happening in the men's room. 1669 01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,951 Tracey, please. Don't go. 1670 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,833 Whoa, this is almost the whole marketing department in here. 1671 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,956 - Can I get a drink? - Josh, Josh. 1672 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,188 Josh, where's Clay? 1673 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,960 Asswipe loses everybody their jobs and runs. 1674 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:14,718 How much did he spend on this party? 1675 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,949 He could have just given that money to us. 1676 01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:17,109 Clay sucks. 1677 01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:18,536 We should just kill him, like on that podcast. 1678 01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,959 Put the Red Bull down. 1679 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,712 Respectfully, fuck you guys! 1680 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,632 Sorry, that was too much, but... 1681 01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,831 Clay cares more about people 1682 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,188 than anyone I've ever met. 1683 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,153 He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight 1684 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,360 with the last of his money. 1685 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,635 What? 1686 01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,079 Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke. 1687 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:34,349 Who do you think paid 1688 01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,112 for that bouncy house in accounting? 1689 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,276 Training that dog to deliver the mail? 1690 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,154 The zip-line? Doughnut Fridays? 1691 01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:42,599 It was all Clay! 1692 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,949 He spent all of his money 1693 01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:45,798 trying to keep this branch afloat. 1694 01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:48,040 And whenever I questioned him about it, he would say, 1695 01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,396 "Treat your employees like they're your family 1696 01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:52,040 "and they'll do great things for you." 1697 01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,056 You guys, Clay just left to get drugs 1698 01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,149 with Becca and her pimp. 1699 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,509 Wait... Who's Becca? 1700 01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:58,597 - Nate's whore. - Hey, that's his girlfriend! 1701 01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,279 Nope, she's right. 1702 01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:02,193 Becca's a prostitute. 1703 01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:03,759 Oh, nice. 1704 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:04,949 Oh. Nope. 1705 01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:06,598 Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp? 1706 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,950 Yes. She has a gun and a serious mood imbalance. 1707 01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:10,508 Fuck. Carol! 1708 01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:11,715 We have a problem. 1709 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,480 Yeah, you have lots of problems. Good luck. 1710 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,393 Carol, excuse me. 1711 01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:17,798 Carol! Listen. 1712 01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:19,996 Clay has gone to get wasted with a psychopath, 1713 01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:22,555 and he's got $300,000 strapped to his chest. 1714 01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,070 Ooh, that really does sound like a big problem... 1715 01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:26,589 For Clay. 1716 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,760 You already lost your dad. 1717 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,512 If you lose Clay, you'll have no one. 1718 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,950 Trust me, that's not a place you want to be. 1719 01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,793 - I don't care. - What? 1720 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,160 - Oh, boy. This woman... - What is wrong with her? 1721 01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,069 Really? 1722 01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,077 Guys! I don't know what to do. 1723 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,440 Clay's not picking up his phone. 1724 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,512 I think I can locate him. 1725 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:48,599 This is so amazing to me, guys. 1726 01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:50,240 We can actually connect with, you know. 1727 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:51,958 Yeah. Yeah. There we go. 1728 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,075 - Amazing. - Absolutely. 1729 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,320 They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. 1730 01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,634 They just hacked your Facebook. 1731 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,269 - That's horseshit! - Unbelievable. So uncool. 1732 01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:00,640 - Hey, wait! - No, no, no, girls! 1733 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,269 I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls. 1734 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,056 Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns 1735 01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,071 to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him. 1736 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,056 Come on, why would we help you, dude, seriously? 1737 01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,718 Yeah, why would we help you? 1738 01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,633 Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to. 1739 01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,633 - He can't touch him! - I'll allow it. 1740 01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,956 Ooh, there's a car on fire. Did the Bears win? 1741 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:32,757 What are you looking at? 1742 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,149 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, Jesus. 1743 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,518 Hey, if everybody's fired, 1744 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,593 let's burn this place to the ground, baby! 1745 01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:47,956 Hey! Hey, what department are you in? 1746 01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:49,513 I don't work here. 1747 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:52,075 Let's do this, baby! Who's with me? 1748 01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:54,949 Fuck. 1749 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,789 If I tell y'all one more time to back up, 1750 01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:06,956 it's gonna be a problem. I'm not playing with y'all! 1751 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,376 Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs 1752 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:10,136 and lock this shit down. We gotta go help Clay. 1753 01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:11,296 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that! 1754 01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:13,959 The security guard was the first one to go in Die Hard. 1755 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,998 Carla, this is the one you knew would come. 1756 01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,548 Be our John McClane. 1757 01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:20,189 I'm on it. 1758 01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:22,755 Hey. 1759 01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:23,955 In case it gets dark. 1760 01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:27,998 Who wants to get tased? 1761 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:31,791 Okay, where's your car? 1762 01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,936 I took a cab. I thought we were gonna take your car. 1763 01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:34,960 No, I took the El. 1764 01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:38,638 Let's go get our Santa. 1765 01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,795 - Great! - Oh. 1766 01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,912 Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull. 1767 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:44,576 You're jerking it! Jesus Christ, let me do it. 1768 01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:45,715 - I'm pulling out. - Oh! 1769 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:47,597 All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked. 1770 01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:48,960 Thanks. 1771 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,638 Get in. Come on. 1772 01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,559 What'd you get all over your seats? 1773 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,949 Oh, no, it's from the parrots. 1774 01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,598 Relax, it's not poop. It's some... 1775 01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,916 It's genital secretions. It's mating season. 1776 01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:01,916 - Oh. - Should be dry. 1777 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,110 Okay. Nate says Clay's on the South Side. 1778 01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,918 He is not gonna fuck this up for me. 1779 01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:11,510 The board will vote me CEO. 1780 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,280 That is happening. So let's just do this, okay? 1781 01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:17,955 - Can this thing handle snow? - Oh, please. It's a Kia. 1782 01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,758 It's what God would drive. 1783 01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,519 Oh! 1784 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,955 Guys, you know, the thing is, I told everybody 1785 01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:39,800 they were gonna be okay, but then they weren't. 1786 01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,718 And so, I broke a Christmas promise, which... 1787 01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,358 Is basically the worst thing you can do. 1788 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:48,070 I mean, it is so stressful being the boss. 1789 01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,593 Nobody ever talks about that. 1790 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:50,955 No. No, not at all. 1791 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:51,949 And if you want to complain about it, 1792 01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,076 everybody's like, "Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa." 1793 01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,639 Yeah, no one gives a shit! 1794 01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:56,955 I can't call people up and be like, 1795 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,712 "Oh! I'm having a bad pimp day." 1796 01:15:58,920 --> 01:15:59,955 See, you understand. 1797 01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:03,277 I get clients calling me 24/7. Middle of the night, 3:00 AM: 1798 01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:04,714 Brring, brring, brring! 1799 01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:06,831 "Hey, I need anal, like yesterday." 1800 01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:07,949 Yeah, the same with me! 1801 01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,600 Except instead of anal, it's data storage. 1802 01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:11,791 Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting. 1803 01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,576 "Can you have someone blow me in the gymnasium?" 1804 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:14,953 Yeah, absolutely. It never ends. 1805 01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:17,958 Or, like, "Hey, your girl just stabbed me in the leg 1806 01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,640 "and now I'm bleeding out in the alleyway." 1807 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:21,712 I don't relate to that as much. 1808 01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,070 It's mental, right? How much people lean on you? 1809 01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,794 And my sister wanted me to be a failure, 1810 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:28,911 and I was, so she's not gonna let that go. 1811 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:31,520 That's the problem of working with family, though. 1812 01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,070 - Yeah. - You can never escape them. 1813 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:36,556 You can never escape them. 1814 01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,296 But you know what, you're gonna be fine, man. 1815 01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:39,355 You know why? 1816 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,272 'Cause you've got all that money, honey. 1817 01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:43,950 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually. 1818 01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:45,911 I spent it all trying to keep the branch open. 1819 01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,599 All I have left is just $300,000 cash. 1820 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,154 You have 300 grand. 1821 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:51,816 Oh, my gosh. Whenever I'm that low in my account, 1822 01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,353 I'm just like, "Kill me." 1823 01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,073 Uh, so where is the money? 1824 01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:58,716 - It's on my person. It's safe. - It's in your personal safe? 1825 01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:01,896 Okay, we're close. No, no, this is it! This is... 1826 01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,797 There's a spot! Right there. You passed it! 1827 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:07,791 Careful. Easy. 1828 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:10,909 Oh! 1829 01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:12,953 That's how you park a minivan. 1830 01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,718 - Jeez! - Very impressive. 1831 01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,593 Okay, Nate, are you sure about this address here? 1832 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,950 Yes. 92765 Union Street. 1833 01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,120 That's where the pin is. Uh, Red Square Club. 1834 01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,797 Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk! 1835 01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:30,794 Uh... 1836 01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,835 - I'll go see what's going on. - Okay. 1837 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,919 This is it. 1838 01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:39,389 Oh, my God. 1839 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,195 Well, maybe he deserved it. Who knows? 1840 01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:45,753 Here we go, guys. Come on. 1841 01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:48,280 Quickly? Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. 1842 01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,949 Last year I filed a sexual harassment complaint 1843 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,194 against myself. 1844 01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,958 - Against yourself. - Mmm-hmm. 1845 01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,555 Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. 1846 01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,190 And I pretended to drop something on the ground 1847 01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:03,193 so that I could bend over 1848 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,959 and graze his butt with my nose. 1849 01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:06,960 And I did. 1850 01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:14,315 - That doesn't seem that bad. - And then I said, 1851 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,633 "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you." 1852 01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:20,154 Hmm. That's harassment. 1853 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:22,153 That's why he quit. 1854 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,949 You seem like you feel better. Here we go. 1855 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,115 Wait! No, guys, 1856 01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,271 we can't go in there looking like this. 1857 01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,069 Hey, Carol? 1858 01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,313 Why don't you give me your coat? 1859 01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:51,797 - How we doing tonight? - Private party. Members only. 1860 01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:54,400 Well, I'm a businessman. 1861 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,959 These are my business ladies 1862 01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,191 of the night. You hear what I'm saying to you? 1863 01:18:58,640 --> 01:18:59,789 They only come out at night. 1864 01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:01,280 - Okay. Okay. - Mostly for parties. 1865 01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,510 It's a beautiful language. 1866 01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,712 Nice, Carol. 1867 01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:21,952 Seems like an appropriate setting 1868 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,592 for an emotional rock bottom. 1869 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,956 Oh, there's a back room. 1870 01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:38,755 Hi. 1871 01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,070 How you doing? Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit? 1872 01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,271 Fuck you. I don't tell you anything. 1873 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:45,160 - All right, now listen here. - Nuh-uh-uh. 1874 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,395 Hi. Me again. Where's Santa? 1875 01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:53,988 Fuck you. 1876 01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:56,950 You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. 1877 01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:59,056 It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, 1878 01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,594 and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater. 1879 01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:03,955 Nope, no tap outs. 1880 01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:06,718 Back door? Thank you. 1881 01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:08,359 - Bitch. - What? 1882 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,115 Was that too much? 1883 01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,117 - Just a little. - I loved it. 1884 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:14,549 Let's go. 1885 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,791 - Hey! - Oh, God. 1886 01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:18,359 Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go. 1887 01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:19,953 Okay. Enjoy. 1888 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,272 Come on, let's party. 1889 01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,836 Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me! 1890 01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:28,995 Clay! 1891 01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:31,638 What did he say? 1892 01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:32,896 I think I know where they're going. 1893 01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:34,000 Let's get the car. Come on! 1894 01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,279 Let's go! 1895 01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:42,960 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1896 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,275 Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car! 1897 01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,359 Damn it. 1898 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:05,109 ♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen 1899 01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,638 ♪ Let nothing you dismay 1900 01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:13,157 ♪ Remember Christ the Saviour 1901 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,837 ♪ Was born on Christmas Day 1902 01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:21,394 ♪ To save us all from Satan's power 1903 01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:24,354 ♪ When we were gone astray 1904 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:30,716 ♪ Tidings of comfort and joy 1905 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:32,513 ♪ Comfort and joy 1906 01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,748 ♪ Oh, tidings of comfort 1907 01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:40,316 ♪ Comfort and joy! ♪ 1908 01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,320 - Oh, God. - Yeah, I fucked up. I did. 1909 01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:03,954 I lost a lot of people's jobs. 1910 01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,837 I hurt a lot of good people tonight. 1911 01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,359 Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story. 1912 01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:08,776 Are we coming up to your apartment building 1913 01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:10,080 on the left, to the right, or... 1914 01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:11,480 We're not going to my apartment. 1915 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:12,629 Uh, yes, we are. 1916 01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:14,616 We are going to your apartment to go to the safe. 1917 01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,631 There's nothing safe about what we're gonna do. 1918 01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,320 Yeah, it's like you said, you know. 1919 01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:20,749 We need to escape them, so that's what we're gonna do. 1920 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,552 - Red light. - What the fuck 1921 01:22:22,760 --> 01:22:23,954 are you talking about? There's a red light! 1922 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:24,960 That's a red light! 1923 01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,158 Oh, yeah! 1924 01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:32,308 We go right through 'em. They're just suggestions. 1925 01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:37,176 - Can you look at that fuck? - Oh, the fucking windshield. 1926 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,315 Are you kidding? Not now! 1927 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:40,440 That's the A.C., Josh. We don't need that right now. 1928 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:41,635 What about that? 1929 01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,936 Oh. No, that's the recirculating mode. 1930 01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:45,952 How am I gonna run Zenotek without this Genius Bar? 1931 01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:47,136 You can get up here and help if you'd like. 1932 01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:48,559 Okay, my seat's getting hotter. 1933 01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,955 Mary, why do you even have a minivan? 1934 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,996 - You don't have kids. - I buy in bulk! 1935 01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:53,776 - Oh! It's them! - Yeah. 1936 01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:55,056 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes. 1937 01:22:55,080 --> 01:22:56,957 Oh, God! What's that smell? 1938 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:58,120 I'm gonna be honest with you, 1939 01:22:58,160 --> 01:22:59,600 I have been farting this entire time. 1940 01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:04,953 Oh, my gosh. 1941 01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,149 Okay, you know what, 1942 01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,952 take me to your personal safe right now. 1943 01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:09,640 We don't need money where we're going. 1944 01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:10,948 - Where are we going? - For glory. 1945 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:12,075 The Clark Street Bridge. 1946 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,554 This time of night it'll be up. 1947 01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,949 We're gonna jump the bridge and never look back. 1948 01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:24,200 Okay, new game. Pull over. 1949 01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:25,536 Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll. 1950 01:23:25,560 --> 01:23:26,936 - No, no, no. Trina, Trina. - Just slow down. 1951 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,776 Trina, I've been thinking about this for a while. 1952 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:29,915 We can make this jump. 1953 01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:30,949 I let a lot of people down, 1954 01:23:30,960 --> 01:23:32,518 but I'm not gonna let you guys down. 1955 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,955 We're gonna escape our families and become anew! 1956 01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:36,354 Pull over right now. 1957 01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,078 Or I shoot you in the fucking brain. 1958 01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:39,599 Well, you can't shoot him, 1959 01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:41,278 because then he's gonna crash the car. 1960 01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:43,590 Really, Savannah? Really? 1961 01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:44,949 Why don't you put it in an email 1962 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:46,096 and c.c. everyone, all right? 1963 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,917 Make double sure everyone got it. 1964 01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:50,795 You know what, you should start a podcast, Savannah, 1965 01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,070 called "Savannah Says Fucking Stupid Things Out Loud." 1966 01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:00,960 Clay! 1967 01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,593 Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry! 1968 01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:04,000 I was never gonna take that job. 1969 01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:05,389 Not good enough! 1970 01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,073 Do not jump that bridge. 1971 01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:09,953 I have to do this. Carol's right, I'm a fuckup! 1972 01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:12,395 Shit! 1973 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,719 Pull over, you fucking idiot! 1974 01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,349 Or, the nice supportive version? 1975 01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,075 Pull over, fucking idiot! 1976 01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:27,315 No. 1977 01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,078 Hey, tell him to pull over, lady! 1978 01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:33,273 Look. Pull over! Pull over! Pull over! It doesn't work! 1979 01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,359 - It's not working. - None of it works! 1980 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,794 Hey, Clay, 1981 01:24:37,960 --> 01:24:40,713 you jump that bridge, I'm going with you. 1982 01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:41,955 What? No! 1983 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:43,400 Yes, I am. 1984 01:24:43,520 --> 01:24:45,954 Did you say hit it at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel? 1985 01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:48,949 - Put it into sport. - Here we go. 1986 01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:53,517 Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe. 1987 01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:55,797 - You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do. 1988 01:24:55,960 --> 01:24:57,916 Josh, what are you doing, man? 1989 01:24:57,960 --> 01:24:59,916 You go, we all go! 1990 01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:01,960 Fuck. 1991 01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:04,831 I love America! 1992 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,833 I am not gonna die in a minivan. 1993 01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,760 Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel! 1994 01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:02,633 We could've made that bridge, panty hose. 1995 01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:05,639 Where's Clay? 1996 01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,959 It was on your person. 1997 01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:23,638 What did we hit? 1998 01:26:23,960 --> 01:26:25,951 The collision severed the primary fibre line, 1999 01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:27,638 as well as its backup, 2000 01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,751 paralyzing Internet, DSL, 2001 01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,956 and cellular communications citywide. 2002 01:26:32,200 --> 01:26:34,350 So if you haven't ordered your holiday gifts early, 2003 01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:36,636 you may not be able to order them at all. 2004 01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:38,951 I quit, by the way! 2005 01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,389 You quit what? What, Savannah? What'd you quit? 2006 01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,153 Just a couple of normal girls here. 2007 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:44,953 Move it, move it! Clear! 2008 01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:46,553 The Internet's down. 2009 01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:48,313 My brother needs a doctor! 2010 01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:49,959 Ma'am, you're gonna need to wait your turn. 2011 01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:51,736 Will you find someone that will help my brother? 2012 01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:53,955 All of you, just back up! 2013 01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:57,317 Back up. Make a single file line against that wall 2014 01:26:57,560 --> 01:27:00,950 and she will be with you when she has a fucking minute! 2015 01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:12,557 You know, you trying to jump that bridge was really... 2016 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,950 Brave? That what you were going for? 2017 01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,712 No. Stupid. I was gonna say stupid. 2018 01:27:17,800 --> 01:27:19,756 No. I... I would say brave. 2019 01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:21,796 - A little brave. - Yeah. Hi. 2020 01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:23,951 - Hey, how is he? - Oh. He's fine. 2021 01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:25,911 In fact, the doctor said that the crash 2022 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,394 actually fixed a previous fracture. 2023 01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,791 He's got... He's got this gift. 2024 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,114 I don't... I don't get it. 2025 01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:34,555 - Oh. Thank God he's okay. - Oh, well... 2026 01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:37,110 So, maybe you'll reconsider firing everyone? 2027 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,789 Once it gets out there that we caused this crash, 2028 01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:40,989 the board finds out, 2029 01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:43,311 my ass is fired. No one has a job. 2030 01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:45,910 - So... - Carol? 2031 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,275 Is now a good time to exchange insurance information 2032 01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:49,634 for the car stuff? 2033 01:27:49,840 --> 01:27:52,638 It's not. You know, we would've made it, by the way. 2034 01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,956 - At the speed you were going? - Comfortably. 2035 01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:57,116 Please. To make that jump, with that incline, 2036 01:27:57,200 --> 01:27:59,156 you would have had to at least been going... 2037 01:27:59,360 --> 01:28:00,952 - 110. - 95. 2038 01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:03,959 No, 95. 2039 01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:07,200 - It's simple math. - Oh. Well, okay. 2040 01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,277 It might be simple on paper, 2041 01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:12,397 but you're forgetting the wind, the weight of the Kia, 2042 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,632 the four of us, 2043 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:16,315 bird cages... 2044 01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,797 I prefer to call them bird condos, and so do the birds. 2045 01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,754 Point being, you have to adjust your numbers 2046 01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:25,149 to account for real world conditions. 2047 01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:28,957 Simple. Or did they not teach you that in hacker college? 2048 01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:30,275 You're right. 2049 01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:31,515 Thank you. 2050 01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:33,319 No, not about that. 2051 01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,197 Although hacker college does sound awesome. 2052 01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:38,110 It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong. 2053 01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:42,830 I... I've been treating the power grid 2054 01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,712 as if it was a seamless source of Internet. 2055 01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,269 It's not seamless, it's messy. It... 2056 01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:49,957 But if there was an opportunity 2057 01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,951 where the conditions were just right. 2058 01:28:53,720 --> 01:28:56,757 If we were inside of a vacuum. If it was still. 2059 01:28:57,160 --> 01:28:58,957 Oh, my God. 2060 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:01,000 - An Internet blackout. - An Internet blackout! 2061 01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:02,256 Let's get you back to the office. 2062 01:29:02,280 --> 01:29:03,315 - Yes! - Come on. 2063 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,076 I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah? 2064 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:17,952 - I'm sorry, Mary. - Go save the company! 2065 01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,359 Mum? 2066 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,154 Dad? 2067 01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:12,635 Oh, my... 2068 01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:16,912 Oh. Hey. 2069 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:18,195 Hey. 2070 01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:22,995 Carla! 2071 01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,394 - Wassup? - Morning. 2072 01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,955 I tased as many as I could, but... 2073 01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,680 Yeah. Well, I actually thought it was gonna be worse, so... 2074 01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:30,960 Uh-uh! 2075 01:30:31,080 --> 01:30:33,719 I see you, bitch! Uh-uh, bitch, I see you! 2076 01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:35,552 Your office was locked, right? 2077 01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:36,914 Yeah, of course. 2078 01:30:37,080 --> 01:30:39,833 - What... What's happening? - Did you guys find Clay? 2079 01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,757 - Sorry. Old habit. - Sure. 2080 01:30:51,080 --> 01:30:53,514 Okay. So, what... You're writing an algorithm 2081 01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,636 that can respond to the grid in real time? 2082 01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,398 - That's gonna take... - Done. 2083 01:30:58,720 --> 01:30:59,755 Forever. 2084 01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:02,355 Nate! How's that server bank? 2085 01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:04,796 Still covered in beer! Five minutes! 2086 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,598 I hope it's beer. 2087 01:31:07,960 --> 01:31:08,995 Hey. 2088 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,394 Uh, about what happened... 2089 01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,959 All good. Everyone has their thing. 2090 01:31:11,960 --> 01:31:14,076 I know it seems weird, but I just crave discipline. 2091 01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:15,832 My family had no set meal times. 2092 01:31:15,960 --> 01:31:18,076 Yeah, it's cool. I don't need your origin story. 2093 01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,356 Promise me you won't tell anyone? 2094 01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:22,392 - I'll do your taxes! - Deal. 2095 01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:23,795 Great. 2096 01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:26,952 Oh, my God, the office. Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! 2097 01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:29,958 I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, 2098 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,952 some other stuff. But no Cronuts, 2099 01:31:31,960 --> 01:31:33,359 that's a bastard pastry. 2100 01:31:36,960 --> 01:31:38,632 I still hate your rules. 2101 01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,630 But your dancing is 2102 01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:43,393 wild and free. 2103 01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,791 Like an unmanned fire hose. 2104 01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,757 Put your pants on. 2105 01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,069 For now. 2106 01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:57,752 Now, we can't fix the Internet 2107 01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:58,955 if we can't get on the Internet. 2108 01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:00,188 Everything is down. 2109 01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:01,776 Okay, well, all the phones are working. 2110 01:32:01,800 --> 01:32:02,949 What about a dial-up modem? 2111 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,376 Great. Now all you need is a RadioShack 2112 01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,549 and a time machine. 2113 01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:08,154 - Oh, the G1 had it, right? - There's one in Clay's office. 2114 01:32:08,320 --> 01:32:09,480 I got the desk. Get the desk. 2115 01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,909 Okay, give me the wires. Plug it in here. Give me that. 2116 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,076 Hey, I could use some of that giddy-up in H.R. 2117 01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:15,976 if you two ponies are looking for a new stable. 2118 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,176 I am looking for a new stable, Mary. 2119 01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:18,536 Thank you so much. We'll talk later. 2120 01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:19,696 Mary, you're showing a lot of neck. 2121 01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:20,789 Breaking your own rules. 2122 01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:22,757 It's a little skanky, isn't it? 2123 01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:24,313 - Plug it in. - Plugged in. 2124 01:32:24,560 --> 01:32:25,959 Uh, I got this D.J. equipment, 2125 01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:27,296 if you want to use that for something. 2126 01:32:27,320 --> 01:32:29,000 Okay, that's not gonna help, but thank you. 2127 01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:30,395 All right, guys. 2128 01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:32,155 What now? 2129 01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,749 I press "Enter," it launches the protocol, and then... 2130 01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:36,176 And then everybody gets back on the Internet. 2131 01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:37,349 Hopefully. 2132 01:32:37,520 --> 01:32:38,953 Or I blow up the power grid. 2133 01:32:39,160 --> 01:32:41,071 - So be ready for that. - Okay? 2134 01:32:41,280 --> 01:32:43,510 Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter." 2135 01:32:43,800 --> 01:32:44,949 Okay, guys. 2136 01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:46,835 Here we go. 2137 01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:57,552 Power's still on. 2138 01:32:57,640 --> 01:32:59,198 Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that. 2139 01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,753 No Internet yet, though. 2140 01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:01,955 It could take a few seconds. 2141 01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:03,791 If it works, you'll have a connection alert. 2142 01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:05,912 - No. - No, nothing. 2143 01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,718 Nothing yet. 2144 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:10,958 - No? Anybody? - No. 2145 01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,195 No, nothing. 2146 01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:13,355 Josh? 2147 01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:14,960 No. Just give it a little more time. 2148 01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:18,958 Maybe it wasn't ready. 2149 01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:20,992 Tracey, hey. 2150 01:33:21,400 --> 01:33:22,833 It's ready. 2151 01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:25,515 Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead. 2152 01:33:31,960 --> 01:33:32,960 - Is that you? - Got it. 2153 01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:34,115 - Got it! - Oh, my God. 2154 01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,312 - Yep, I got it. - Oh, my God! 2155 01:33:36,720 --> 01:33:37,948 - Was that you? - I got it! 2156 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:39,536 Yeah, I got it, too! 2157 01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,393 I got mine! Yeah. Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit! 2158 01:33:42,840 --> 01:33:44,068 - Tracey! - You did it! 2159 01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:09,318 Work never stops. You see that? 2160 01:34:09,560 --> 01:34:11,391 Excuse me. Excuse me. 2161 01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:14,195 Hello, yes. I am happy for you, but I do need you to 2162 01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,550 sign a personal relationship disclosure form 2163 01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:17,755 before this rounds first. 2164 01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:19,398 No. No, I don't think so. 2165 01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,995 Hey, Mary, sign this. 2166 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:25,192 Oh. Oh, you know what? Um, I really like you, 2167 01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,736 um, but maybe we could get, like, a cup of coffee first, 2168 01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:28,829 or something? 2169 01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:30,837 Yeah! Totally. 2170 01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:33,190 That's what I meant by, "Sign this." 2171 01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:35,198 - You know what? Forget it. - Okay. 2172 01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,275 Glass of wine in a family photo? 2173 01:34:48,520 --> 01:34:50,750 Look at him in that suit. What a stud. 2174 01:34:51,080 --> 01:34:53,071 He wore that better than you. 2175 01:34:53,280 --> 01:34:55,714 Yeah, he did a lot of things better than me. 2176 01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:57,632 You're right to be pissed at me. 2177 01:34:57,840 --> 01:34:59,256 You know, I always got to do whatever I wanted 2178 01:34:59,280 --> 01:35:00,349 and you always ended up 2179 01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,760 with the shit end of the stick. 2180 01:35:01,840 --> 01:35:03,193 It wasn't fair. 2181 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:05,993 I'm sorry, sis. 2182 01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,956 Thank you for that. 2183 01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,831 You never got to be the fun one, huh? 2184 01:35:11,960 --> 01:35:13,712 - I mean, I could have. Right? - Yeah. 2185 01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:15,176 - Sure. - I have... I have a fun side. 2186 01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,395 I've seen it many a time. 2187 01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:18,755 I mean... 2188 01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:20,757 Off the top of my head, I... 2189 01:35:20,960 --> 01:35:22,951 Remember that Thanksgiving that you taught everybody 2190 01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:24,757 the real rules of Monopoly? 2191 01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:27,080 With the bidding wars and the strict time limit and... 2192 01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:29,315 - Yeah, that wasn't fun. - I know. 2193 01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:32,916 Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11. 2194 01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:34,552 Whatever on the chart, the... 2195 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:35,960 That face? 2196 01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:37,594 So can I get some Dilaudid 2197 01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:39,480 in another one of those little gelatine cups? 2198 01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:41,955 You can't buy those. I looked it up. 2199 01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:46,955 Huh. The Internet's back up. 2200 01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:49,630 What the hell is a Zenotek? 2201 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:51,314 - What? - What? 2202 01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:56,913 Oh, my God! She did it. She did it! 2203 01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:58,712 - Shut the fuck door! - Oh. 2204 01:35:58,920 --> 01:35:59,955 I gotta tell you, I was always like, 2205 01:35:59,960 --> 01:36:01,518 "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," 2206 01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,200 and she was like, "Words, words, words 2207 01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:04,952 "and some numbers." But she did it. 2208 01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:06,909 Oh, my God. 2209 01:36:06,960 --> 01:36:08,616 Wait. So, this means everybody gets to keep their jobs? 2210 01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:09,816 Everybody gets to keep their jobs. 2211 01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:10,955 Yes! 2212 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:13,116 God, I am gonna be CEO. 2213 01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:15,118 Because you deserve it. 2214 01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,950 And you throw a great fucking party. 2215 01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:20,316 Yeah. I did, didn't I? 2216 01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:22,958 - Oh! Walter. - Walter. 2217 01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:24,995 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 2218 01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:27,197 - Carol. - Carol, nice to meet you. 2219 01:36:27,400 --> 01:36:29,197 There's my eagle. Hey. 2220 01:36:29,760 --> 01:36:33,116 I just want to thank you for the best night of my life! 2221 01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:34,754 Yeah? Yeah? 2222 01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:36,952 I'll see you on Monday. 2223 01:36:39,720 --> 01:36:41,950 Well, it looks like we just hired Walter Davis. 2224 01:36:43,960 --> 01:36:45,757 Well, he'll fit right in. 2225 01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:48,389 Wow. 2226 01:36:48,560 --> 01:36:49,959 Did you see that? 2227 01:36:51,400 --> 01:36:52,549 Oh. 2228 01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:54,751 - What are you doing? - Winner! 2229 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,996 - We weren't racing. - Well, you weren't. 2230 01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:59,520 Why do you think they always make you leave a hospital 2231 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:00,953 in a wheelchair? 2232 01:37:05,760 --> 01:37:07,113 What are you guys doing here? 2233 01:37:07,320 --> 01:37:09,000 Well, we can't go to breakfast without you. 2234 01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,320 - Come on, we're celebrating. - Come on, let's go. 2235 01:37:11,960 --> 01:37:14,918 I'm in. Breakfast is the most important meal 2236 01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:15,995 - of the morning. - Whoa! 2237 01:37:16,120 --> 01:37:17,838 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. 2238 01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:18,960 We good? 2239 01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:21,951 Yeah. We're good. 2240 01:37:22,320 --> 01:37:24,550 - I'll go back down. - Your ankle is broken. 2241 01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:26,796 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - Yes. 2242 01:37:26,920 --> 01:37:28,176 - Oh. - You left this in your room. 2243 01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:29,952 Oh, I did. Thank you. I'm sorry. 2244 01:37:30,320 --> 01:37:31,753 And also this. 2245 01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:34,554 Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here. 2246 01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:36,709 No. 2247 01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:38,096 - Wanna get out of here? - Let's go. 2248 01:37:38,120 --> 01:37:40,554 Oh, no. I'm not getting in that. I ordered us an Uber. 2249 01:37:40,640 --> 01:37:41,709 Carol? 2250 01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,792 I don't mean this in a creepy way, but get in the van. 2251 01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:46,520 Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling. 2252 01:37:46,640 --> 01:37:47,755 - No. - Yes. 2253 01:37:47,840 --> 01:37:50,195 No! You cannot have alcohol on your medication. 2254 01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,118 Uh, fuck that. Drinking is medication. 2255 01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:54,200 Doctor, this is a... This is a work breakfast. 2256 01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:55,952 There will be no alcohol at all. 2257 01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:56,995 Okay? 2258 01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:00,274 Yeah. 2259 01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:01,594 I saw that. 2260 01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:03,950 Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge. 2261 01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,116 There will be no more partying. 2262 01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:09,956 I'm literally standing right in front of you. 2263 01:38:09,960 --> 01:38:10,960 I'm literally right here. 2264 01:38:11,120 --> 01:38:13,554 I just don't know what it is you think that I'm not seeing. 2265 01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:16,957 Doctor, I would never disobey medical advice. 2266 01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:19,954 Just go, just go. 2267 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,176 It's an office thing. Here we go. 2268 01:38:21,200 --> 01:38:22,336 - Merry Christmas. - Let's go. 2269 01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:23,759 Let's roll it to the car. 2270 01:38:23,840 --> 01:38:25,114 Okay, Happy Holidays. 2271 01:38:25,360 --> 01:38:26,952 Thank you for your service, Doctor. 2272 01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:28,712 Okay. 2273 01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:31,949 Okay. You need any help working your way out of here? 2274 01:38:32,120 --> 01:38:34,315 Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul. 2275 01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:43,389 Hey, Carol! 2276 01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:46,394 - Are you Carol? - What? Uh, no. 2277 01:38:46,840 --> 01:38:48,831 Are you sure? You look like a Carol. 2278 01:38:50,560 --> 01:38:52,835 Can you not hear me? Carol! 2279 01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:54,954 Carol! 2280 01:38:55,720 --> 01:38:56,755 Ugh. 2281 01:38:58,960 --> 01:39:00,313 Cancelled? 2282 01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,830 Bunch of bitches! 2283 01:39:03,160 --> 01:39:05,958 You know red lights are just suggestions. 2284 01:39:05,960 --> 01:39:07,951 Are you smoking a marijuana cigarette right now? 2285 01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:12,016 Yeah! See, we made it through. 2286 01:39:12,017 --> 01:39:13,017 Let's do another. 2287 01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:31,518 Oh, not again. 2288 01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:35,635 Let me do it again. 2289 01:39:35,760 --> 01:39:37,136 Let me just do it again. I can do it. 2290 01:39:37,160 --> 01:39:39,151 Oh, damn it. 2291 01:39:41,080 --> 01:39:42,593 Shit, shit! 2292 01:39:45,280 --> 01:39:46,720 If you want to make it in this world, 2293 01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:47,915 learn to lie better. 2294 01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,073 Your mother's never coming back. 2295 01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:51,918 Merry Christmas! 2296 01:39:55,800 --> 01:39:56,949 Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick. 2297 01:39:56,960 --> 01:39:58,560 She's gonna suck on this one, guys. 2298 01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,909 Guys, can we go back to one for sucking my dick? 2299 01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:06,976 I like it 'cause it looks like he's trying 2300 01:40:07,000 --> 01:40:08,592 just a little too hard. 2301 01:40:08,720 --> 01:40:09,789 The artist? 2302 01:40:09,920 --> 01:40:11,592 I hadn't thought about the artist. 2303 01:40:11,800 --> 01:40:14,109 Was this not where you had the key 2304 01:40:14,200 --> 01:40:16,156 to the city of Margaritaville? 2305 01:40:16,280 --> 01:40:19,511 I did it. I got rid of it. 2306 01:40:23,760 --> 01:40:24,954 Canadian cinema 2307 01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:26,951 with a concentration in French-Canadian cinema. 2308 01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:29,913 Canadian music with a concentration in Rush. 2309 01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:32,155 Canadian linguistics. Eh? 2310 01:40:45,800 --> 01:40:48,360 He used all of his inheritance... 2311 01:40:48,800 --> 01:40:50,950 He used all of his inher... 2312 01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:53,956 He used all of his inheritance. 2313 01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,359 It's a hard word to say. 2314 01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,952 To keep this branch afloat with his in-her-i-tance. 2315 01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:12,355 "Hi, I'm Carol. I have the shingles again." 2316 01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:14,955 "I'm Carol. Has anyone seen my TV Guide?" 2317 01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:17,794 "I'm Carol. Change frightens me." 2318 01:41:17,960 --> 01:41:19,951 "We have to put Carol down. She's old." 2319 01:41:28,960 --> 01:41:31,952 Andrew from the copy room told me that he had mono. 2320 01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:33,958 I said I wanted to get mono 2321 01:41:33,960 --> 01:41:36,349 because I wanted to take a month off from work. 2322 01:41:36,760 --> 01:41:38,591 And I kissed him deeply. 2323 01:41:39,760 --> 01:41:41,591 And I didn't get mono! 2324 01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:45,353 Okay, let's reset. 2325 01:41:45,354 --> 01:41:53,354