0
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000


1
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,626
(TICKING)

2
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,635
MALE RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Last week, Flash Gordon

3
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,970
defended the Witch Queen Azura

4
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,346
from the attack of the Death dwarfs.

5
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:58,224
Paul, having proclaimed himself
King of Blue Magic Land

6
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,602
offered John the Hawkman
the command of the army...

7
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,312
(DISTORTED CHATTERING)

8
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,482
(PAUL THE DOG BARKS)

9
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,151
(SNIFFING)

10
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,907
(WHIMPERING)

11
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,119
(BARKING)

12
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,707
YOUNG TARA: Go on, then, Paul.

13
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,125
Don't belong.

14
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,395
(PAUL THE DOG BARKING)

15
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,482
YOUNG TARA: Paul?

16
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,066
(HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING)

17
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,862
Paul?

18
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,328
Paul.

19
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,456
(PAUL THE DOG YELPS)

20
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,774
(PUNK ROCK MUSlC PLAYING)

21
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,234
(GRUNTING)

22
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,570
(BOTH SCOFFING)

23
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,628
(GRUNTING)

24
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,922
(WAR CRY)

25
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,969
(ALL CHEERING)

26
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,432
-He winked at me! He winked at me!
-Whoo!

27
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,841
I love it here.

28
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,010
You know, it feels so...

29
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,761
-Right.
-Yeah.

30
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,723
We're 5,339 miles from home

31
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,267
and yet, somehow, I feel like we belong.

32
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,269
I know what you mean.

33
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:52,023
I think this is probably
the most fun I have ever had.

34
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,442
I'm so glad we came, Clive.

35
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,319
Clive?

36
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,072
-May I?
-Be my guest.

37
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,325
-Thank you.
-I was over there, on my own.

38
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,285
That there is the Black Vampire.

39
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,745
Watch out.

40
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,996
She bites.

41
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080
How much?

42
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,875
$1,349.99.

43
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,879
Aren't you gonna get it?

44
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,963
(SPEAKING KLINGON)

45
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,089
Fair enough.

46
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,135
I can't believe we're gonna
meet Adam Shadowchild.

47
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,763
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) I know.
He's, like, the coolest man in the world.

48
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,806
Thank you.

49
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,518
Come forth. Welcome, my friends.

50
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,189
I just wanted to say that the Planet Fall
trilogy has been a huge influence

51
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,358
on me and on my work.

52
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,943
Don't tell me. You're a writer.

53
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,655
-I am, yeah.
-Well, good.

54
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,449
He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1992.

55
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,577
For best science fiction short story
by a male under 1 6.

56
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,663
-I'm working on a follow-up.
-Oh.

57
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,830
Oh, I'd love to see that.

58
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,123
Not today.

59
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,000
No, no. It's a legal thing.

60
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,378
I'm sure it's good.

61
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,297
That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.

62
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,342
Awesome.

63
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,928
-That was Graeme, my illustrator.
-I'm an artist.

64
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,055
I'm hoping to complete it soon.

65
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,266
I'm just having a bit of trouble
with the ending.

66
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,020
Well, a wise man said,

67
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,065
"You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."

68
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,983
Who said that?

69
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,402
I did. I just said that.

70
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,861
MALE SECURITY GUARD:
Move along, please, guys.

71
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:21,946
Yes.

72
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,823
-Very nice to meet you.
-No, no...

73
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,157
Thank you.

74
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,286
-You bought a book?
-No.

75
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,871
Then fuck off.

76
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,499
Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.

77
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,167
-Okay, ready.
-Ready.

78
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,295
-(EXCLAIMS)
-(CLICKS)

79
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,214
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

80
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,592
GRAEME: Yes.

81
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,928
Yes.

82
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,013
-Is that the RV place?
-Yes.

83
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,307
And there's definitely two single beds?

84
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,644
Because there's been
a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.

85
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,730
Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.

86
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,733
And have a nice day to you, as well.

87
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,111
-Is it here?
-It's in the car park.

88
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,529
I think you mean "the parking lot."

89
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,947
(IN FORCED AMERICAN ACCENT) I sure do.

90
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,324
I did my American voice.

91
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,868
(SIGHS)

92
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,662
It's amazing, isn't it?
We're actually here. America.

93
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,330
Huh?

94
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,958
How long have we dreamt about this?

95
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,877
-Since we were kids.
-Yeah.

96
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,588
Now look at us. Grown men.

97
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,672
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

98
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,215
BOTH: Pizza!

99
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,843
-Hi!
-Hiya!

100
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,345
-Good evening, sir.
-Come on in.

101
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,184
-Where can I set this down?
-You could put it on the bed.

102
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:34,935
You guys on honeymoon?

103
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,061
(BOTH LAUGHING)

104
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,396
No.

105
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,316
No, silly. We're just friends.

106
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,818
GRAEME: We had a mix-up.
The reservations were messed up.

107
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,904
Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.

108
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,282
-Ah, going on a road trip?
-Yeah. Yes.

109
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,951
What better way to follow Comic-Con

110
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,205
than a tour of America's
most famous UFO hotspots?

111
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,539
Huh?

112
00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,711
We're going to Area 51
and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,

113
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,881
then down to Camp Verde,
then to Apache Junction

114
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:08,177
and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico
for the site of the famous crash of '47.

115
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,595
-No.
-Everybody knows that.

116
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,181
Stop it! It's an alleged site at this point.

117
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,432
Why would they admit there was a crash,

118
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,683
if the crash happened somewhere else?

119
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,311
BOTH: Let's just agree to disagree, all right?

120
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,562
That's what we always say at the end.

121
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,022
(BOTH LAUGHING)

122
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,067
Do you believe in aliens?

123
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,486
What do you mean, "aliens"?

124
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,198
(BUZZING LIPS)

125
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,826
I'll sign that check, shall I?

126
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,329
Get that out of your way.
Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.

127
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,581
(BOTH SIGHING)

128
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,501
We should turn in.
We got an early start in the morning.

129
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,836
Yeah.

130
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,212
What do you think
you're gonna dream about?

131
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:47,174
Oh, the open road. High adventure.
That kind of thing.

132
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,259
Mmm.

133
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,469
-You?
-Wonder Woman.

134
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,346
-Please don't.
-Okay.

135
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,099
-You ready?
-Yeah.

136
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,559
Okay. And...

137
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,435
BOTH: Three, two, one.

138
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,191
What an amazing Con.

139
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,860
That, my friend, was just the beginning.

140
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,240
Here you go.

141
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,491
That's not ours.

142
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:13,701
No?

143
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,370
No. That's ours.

144
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,845
(HORN HONKING)

145
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,680
Fucking orcs!

146
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,492
(BOTH GRUNTING)

147
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,495
That one.

148
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,165
(GROANING)

149
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,500
(GRUNTING)

150
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,836
CLIVE: Oh.

151
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,379
GRAEME: Oh! People!

152
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,847
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

153
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,771
GRAEME: Smile.

154
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,189
(CLICKS)

155
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,692
"Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?

156
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,319
(ROCK AND ROLL MUSlC PLAYING)

157
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,612
"Alien on board," please.

158
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,573
Okay. If you're sure.

159
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,285
So, how was Comic-Con?

160
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,120
We met Adam Shadowchild.

161
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,456
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?

162
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,708
Oh, he wrote The Venusian Pangenesis.

163
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,043
I didn't read that one.

164
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,045
Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?

165
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,129
No.

166
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,422
The Robot's Mistress?

167
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,715
I like romances.

168
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,300
That's kind of a romance.

169
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,928
-Between a woman and a machine?
-Yeah.

170
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,721
I hear that. (LAUGHING)

171
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,181
(CHUCKLES)

172
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,309
Do you get a lot of UFO types around here?

173
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,104
Some.

174
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,400
Do you believe?

175
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,276
Oh, yes, I do.

176
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,322
Been a lot of strange happenings
in these parts.

177
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:18,075
Ah, it'd be a shame
if we were the only souls in the universe.

178
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,828
Probability alone suggests not.

179
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,581
You know, there are 200 billion galaxies
in the observable universe.

180
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,542
Oh.

181
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,043
Makes you think, doesn't it?

182
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,670
BOTH: What?

183
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,922
Where is everybody?

184
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,012
-Boo!
-(BOTH YELL)

185
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,264
-Oh.
-(PAT LAUGHS)

186
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,849
Gotcha.

187
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,767
So, you fellows set
or can I get you something else?

188
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,936
Oh, I think I would like
a refill of coffee, please, Pat.

189
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,063
All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?

190
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,899
Can I have an E.T. Malt, please?

191
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,776
Mmm. You want that with a sparkler?

192
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,030
-Yeah.
-(LAUGHS)

193
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,282
I will take that as a yes.

194
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,744
I think I might do a toilet.

195
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:04,955
(CLIVE LAUGHING)

196
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,458
Pretty funny.

197
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,379
He's sitting right there on top of that bull,

198
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,799
and he goes, "(STAMMERING) Cut her loose."

199
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,224
What?

200
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,102
I don't know you.

201
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,395
Ooh.

202
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,897
Comics.

203
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,815
JAKE: What was that about?

204
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,817
How you think that makes me feel?

205
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,071
Be rude to me?

206
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,700
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

207
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,118
Ooh! Eggy,

208
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,037
an alien just sicked up in my palms.

209
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,246
Clive...

210
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,623
CLIVE: (LAUGHING) What?

211
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,916
-I'm joking.
-Stop it.

212
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,960
They've got a soap dispenser in there
shaped like an alien's head. It's brilliant!

213
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,253
-(WHISPERING) Someone's here.
-What?

214
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,380
PAT: Here it comes!

215
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,799
(PAT MIMICKING SPACESHIP ENGINE)

216
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,385
(LAUGHS)

217
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,553
What in...

218
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,852
Hey, fellas! How you doing today?

219
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,438
What is this, some kind of gay bar?

220
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,690
No. Just a place
where you can get a bite to eat

221
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,526
and maybe share a close encounter.

222
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,569
Yeah. It sounds like a gay bar.

223
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,489
(LAUGHS) Oh, no, we're just friends.

224
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,535
PAT: So, you guys look like
you could do with a couple beers.

225
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,994
You go do that.

226
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,913
All right. You do that.

227
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:30,833
Yes.

228
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,376
Get a sip. I'll get this.

229
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,211
GRAEME: Just leave it.

230
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,963
CLIVE: Thank you very much.

231
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,302
-What are you doing?
-(GRAEME CLEARS THROAT)

232
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,304
Don't you put those queer eyes on me.

233
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,848
I'm not. I forgot the sticker.

234
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,307
What took you so long?

235
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,309
-I was putting the sticker on.
-Oh.

236
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,686
They were an odd pair, weren't they?

237
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,772
Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.

238
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,025
I doubt very much
we'll be seeing them again.

239
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,402
-(CRASH)
-Oh!

240
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,488
-That wasn't their truck, was it?
-No.

241
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,323
-Should I go and have a look?
-No!

242
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,800
The Black Mailbox.

243
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,011
CLIVE: Wow!

244
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,597
This is probably the coolest thing
I've ever seen.

245
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,473
Do you remember when we Googled it
on your mum's computer

246
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,267
and the phone rang
and you thought it was the FBl?

247
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,186
I didn't really think it was the FBl.

248
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,271
-You started crying.
-I had jet lag.

249
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,647
We'd only been to Brussels.

250
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,816
Go stand next to it. Yep.

251
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,693
Smile.

252
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,028
(CLICKS)

253
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,780
Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.

254
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,490
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?

255
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,201
It just hovers over us

256
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:51,038
and then all the coins in our pockets
go magnetic, and then we get sunburned.

257
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,414
Then it just goes up really quickly.

258
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,833
(MIMICKING SPACESHIP FLYING)

259
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,877
(MIMICKING SPACESHIP DISAPPEARING)

260
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,881
Smile!

261
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:01,965
(CLICKS)

262
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,385
What would you do if they actually landed?

263
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,388
Well, first contact
is a big responsibility, isn't it?

264
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,558
They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh.

265
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,809
That's not how I roll.

266
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,102
-No.
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

267
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,229
(HORN HONKING)

268
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,688
What's that?

269
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,198
Do you think that's those men?

270
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,075
No.

271
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,037
We've seen enough.

272
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,498
Let's go.

273
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,999
Go, go, go!

274
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,086
(HORN HONKING)

275
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,047
Oh, they're gaining.

276
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,340
This is like Deliverance!

277
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,092
They're going to rape us and break our arms!

278
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,551
I don't want my arms broken!

279
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,347
-I need the toilet.
-You've just been!

280
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,640
You know I've got a child's bladder.

281
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,766
(HORN CONTINUES HONKING)

282
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,395
Don't let them get past!

283
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,563
-What do you want me to do, ram them?
-What about the deposit?

284
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,444
-It's not them! It's not them!
-Ah!

285
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,988
-Oh, my God.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

286
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:07,906
-That was awful!
-(TlRES SCREECHING)

287
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,366
That was terrifying!

288
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,909
(BOTH SCREAMING)

289
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,087
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

290
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,386
(EXHALES)

291
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,767
(RV DOOR OPENS)

292
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:36,977
(RV DOOR CLOSES)

293
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,562
(BOTH COUGHING)

294
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,830
GRAEME: Hello?

295
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,055
-(WHISPERS) Maybe you should call for help.
-Yeah.

296
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,182
(DIALING)

297
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,643
It's ringing.

298
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,187
PAUL: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

299
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,730
(BOTH GASP)

300
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,861
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

301
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,529
(GULPS)

302
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,870
Put the phone down.

303
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,206
(LAUGHS)

304
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,374
Oh, fuck me.

305
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,336
-What have you done to him?
-I didn't do anything to him. He fainted.

306
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,921
(STAMMERING) Yeah, but you made him faint!

307
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,340
Yes. But it's not like
I set my phaser to "Faint." (CHUCKLES)

308
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,591
You've got a phaser?

309
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,510
No, I don't... Look! Listen.

310
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,970
Hey, I really need your help, okay?

311
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,764
Can we get this guy back onto your wagon?

312
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,474
(STAMMERING)

313
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,601
Are you an alien?

314
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,269
To you, I am, yes.

315
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,521
Are you gonna probe us?

316
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,689
Why does everyone always assume that?

317
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,360
What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts?
How much can I learn from an ass?

318
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,486
(STAMMERING) What?

319
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,571
I'm sorry. What's your name?

320
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,156
It's Graeme Willy.

321
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,658
And what's his name?

322
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,159
That's the writer, Clive Gollings.

323
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,828
Okay, cool! I'm Paul.

324
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,204
Paul?

325
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,331
Yeah. It's a nickname that stuck.

326
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,667
My ship crashed on a dog. It doesn't matter!

327
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,877
Look! Can we get the writer,
Clive Gollings, back on the RV

328
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,420
and get the hell out of here, please?

329
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,422
-I can't...
-I'm in a hell of a pickle,

330
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,759
and if you don't help me,
I could die on this road tonight.

331
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,387
I don't know.
We're on quite a tight schedule.

332
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:40,433
(SIGHS) Look, man.
Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.

333
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,519
What do you say?

334
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,279
-Okay.
-Okay! Perfect! Great!

335
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,364
Okay, help me grab him.

336
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,201
This man has peed his pants.

337
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,120
Yeah, he's got a child's bladder.

338
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,580
Oh, fantastic.

339
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,142
Doesn't this thing go any faster?

340
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,228
Well, I'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so...

341
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,482
Screw the speed limit! Actually, no.
Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it.

342
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,652
That's good thinking. Okay?
Stay inconspicuous. That's good.

343
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,196
How come I can understand you?

344
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,448
Are you using some sort of
neural language router?

345
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,201
Actually, I'm speaking English,
you fucking idiot.

346
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,661
-That's not nice.
-That was mean.

347
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,164
Look, I'm little tense.
I was just involved in a major car crash.

348
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,373
That was your fault.

349
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,918
I can't reach the pedals.
My legs are too little.

350
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,295
I had to use the parking brake, okay?

351
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,298
I'm sorry. You're in shock right now.

352
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,135
I understand this must be
very weird for you.

353
00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:01,264
Just act normal and drive north, okay?

354
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,935
We gotta get as much distance as we can
between us and the Big Guy.

355
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,007
(LICKS)

356
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,092
(SPITS)

357
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,479
WOMAN ON RADIO:
Zoil? What's happening?

358
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,733
-He's gone.
-Shit!

359
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,986
ZOIL: Looks like he hitched a ride, too.

360
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,821
-What do you mean?
-Tire tracks.

361
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,489
Bastard jacked a native?

362
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,740
Could be two.

363
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,243
Don't you think this is all
a bit of a coincidence?

364
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,911
Are you suggesting he knew?

365
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,621
Little fucker might have phoned home.

366
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,749
There might even be a rescue party
on the way.

367
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,419
Zoil, we need to break out the big guns.

368
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,464
Do you think that that's wise?
The last thing we need is

369
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,799
a hoo-ha.

370
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,467
WOMAN: Maybe you're right.

371
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,847
Listen, I got two rookies on a special mission
75 clicks north of you.

372
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,432
I'll have them set up a roadblock.

373
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,809
These are just civilians.
Why don't you let me take care of it?

374
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,436
You might need the extra muscle.

375
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,356
Just keep them in the dark.
I don't want any loose ends.

376
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,443
These roads can be treacherous at night.

377
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,156
People get into accidents all the time.

378
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,908
I like your thinking. Get it done.

379
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,794
Heads up. We just got reassigned.

380
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,087
Nice.

381
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,922
What about the sandwich?

382
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,758
-She said we can share it.
-Oh, I love this job.

383
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:00,925
Mmm-hmm.

384
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,136
(POP MUSlC PLAYING ON RV STEREO)

385
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,350
(URINATING)

386
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,018
(SNIFFING)

387
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,479
(PAUL SIGHS IN RELIEF)

388
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,524
(PAUL EXHALES)

389
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,526
(TOlLET FLUSHING)

390
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:22,155
-(DOOR OPENS)
-PAUL: Man, I needed that.

391
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,205
I love pistachios.

392
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,082
I hate it when you get a closed one, right?

393
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:34,584
GRAEME: I usually just bite them.

394
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,002
PAUL: No. You don't do that at all.

395
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,421
You tap them, if they don't open
on their own, you throw them away.

396
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,006
GRAEME: No, that's mussels.

397
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,133
No, it's pistachios.

398
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,427
-What the fuck?
-Clive, stop it! What are you doing?

399
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,553
What are you?

400
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,555
(SPEAKING KLINGON)

401
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,225
He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly.
His name's Paul.

402
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,518
(GASPING FOR BREATH)

403
00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,437
Aliens aren't called "Paul."

404
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,774
Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd!

405
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,276
Paul is from a small M-class planet

406
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,987
in the northern spiral arm
of the Andromeda Galaxy.

407
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,239
Thank you.

408
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,573
He looks too obvious.

409
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,659
There's a reason for that, Clive.

410
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:11,704
Over the last 60 years the human race
has been drip-fed images of my face

411
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,998
on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit.

412
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,460
It's in case our species do meet,
you don't have a fucking spaz attack!

413
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,962
I did not have a spaz attack!

414
00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,548
-GRAEME: Don't do it again!
-That's my fucking jorph.

415
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,968
Get your fucking fingers out of there!
lf I get a jorph infection, you're dead!

416
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,137
-Oh, my God! (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
-Oh, shit!

417
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,143
Paul.

418
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,519
Paul?

419
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:38,857
O'REILLY: Okay, okay. This could be it.
So, what are we looking for, again?

420
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,108
HAGGARD: I don't know.

421
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,241
-What brings you to USA?
-We're on holiday.

422
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,701
We've been to Comic-Con.

423
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,078
-HAGGARD: Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly.
-(SNIFFING)

424
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,497
-He loves that dweeb shit.
-Oh.

425
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:56,332
You guys know Benny Hill?

426
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,751
-No.
-No.

427
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,421
O'REILLY: Oh, my God! Look at this!

428
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,630
-What?
-Look at this!

429
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,090
HAGGARD: What?

430
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,134
These guys have met Adam Shadowchild.

431
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,970
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?

432
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,139
He wrote The Jupiter Praxis.

433
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,515
What?

434
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,642
Jenny Starpepper
and the Huge White Gibbon?

435
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:15,727
Huh?

436
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,020
Night of the Moths?

437
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,606
Are you speaking English?
What are you talking about?

438
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,192
Brilliant! What was he like?

439
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,693
He was a bit intense.

440
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,278
Well, he's an artist.

441
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:28,490
Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn?

442
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,700
-No, that's Clive's...
-It's my novel.

443
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:31,951
Okay.

444
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,829
Ha. Three tits. That's awesome.

445
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,499
You guys should have given her four tits.

446
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,417
That's just sick.

447
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:40,877
I was just saying.

448
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,213
Hey, do you think this is it?

449
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,881
Doubtful. What else did you find in there?

450
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:46,883
Not much. Just some pissy jeans.

451
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,469
-Clive's got a child's...
-Shut up.

452
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,595
Sorry.

453
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:53,515
-Okay. You guys can go.
-BOTH: Thank you.

454
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,059
Can I have my... Thank you very much.

455
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,019
May I ask what you're searching for?

456
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,564
No.

457
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,817
CLIVE: Thank you. Come on, Graeme.

458
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,447
(LAUGHS) Way to go, Dirty Harry!

459
00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:10,615
That was all right, right?

460
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,326
-All right? That was great energy, man.
-Yeah. It was. (GROANS IN DISGUST)

461
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,870
That's it... (GROANS) Is right.
It was like... (EXCLAIMS) Not... (GROANS)

462
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,164
-I thought it was okay.
-No, you're thinking about it too much.

463
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:21,251
-You think so? Mmm-hmm.
-Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots.

464
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,715
I think it's pretty obvious
what happened there, isn't it?

465
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,467
Is it?

466
00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,595
The government used some kind of
neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox.

467
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,890
It caused us to suffer
a shared hallucination about an alien.

468
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,267
It makes complete sense.

469
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:38,768
-PAUL: Wrong!
-(BOTH SCREAMING)

470
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,312
-Oh!
-(TlRES SCREECHING)

471
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,526
-(YAWNING)
-(MIMICKING LASER GUN FlRING)

472
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:48,111
Your dick is gone.

473
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,320
Hmm. Your balls are gone.

474
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:50,655
-(MIMICS FARTING)
-(MIMICS WHOOSHING)

475
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,156
Oh, no!

476
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,867
PAUL: What?

477
00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,453
Come on, grow up.
You guys seen my shorts?

478
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,498
How did you do that?
How did you go invisible?

479
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,667
Oh, it's a camouflage response.

480
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:03,918
What, like, Predator?

481
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,129
Exactly! Although I can only do it
while I'm holding my breath.

482
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,589
But you can do it any time you want?

483
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:09,007
(MIMICKING PREDATOR) Any time.

484
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,091
(LAUGHS)

485
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,634
-(MIMICS MACHINE MOVEMENT)
-GRAEME: That's just like him.

486
00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:12,719
(MIMICS PREDATOR GRUNTING)

487
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:15,680
(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)
Am I the only sane person here?

488
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:17,640
Eh?

489
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:21,102
It's all right for you, isn't it?
You'll go back to Area 51.

490
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:25,315
We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive
and sent to Guantanamo Bay!

491
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,693
Why don't I go make
some bagels and coffee?

492
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,945
Leave you two alone.

493
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,989
(PAUL HUMMING)

494
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,240
What's the matter, Clive?

495
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:39,245
There is an alien in the kitchenette,
making bagels and coffee.

496
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,040
-Did you want tea?
-No, I don't want tea!

497
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,125
Right, because tea is weird in America.

498
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,543
-They leave the bag in.
-(PAUL WHISTLING TUNE)

499
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:49,672
What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've
picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker

500
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,883
and you seem completely fine with it!

501
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,968
(SINGING) Bagels and coffee

502
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,553
Ooh! Marmite!

503
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:59,223
He said his life's in danger.
He needs our help, you know?

504
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,935
Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice.

505
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:09,025
What if we wake up and find him
inserting a probe into our anus?

506
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,819
Apparently, they don't do that.

507
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:14,447
PAUL: Anyone want one of these?

508
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,158
Eh? Anyone? Anyone?

509
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:18,910
Eh?

510
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,086
Forty-eight, 49, 50.

511
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:30,296
Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch.

512
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:39,013
-Where's the other one?
-I don't know, sir.

513
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,600
Haggard!

514
00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,852
Sorry, it's just, we were...

515
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,813
Haggard!

516
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,356
(WHISPERS) Fuck.

517
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,900
(O'REILLY LAUGHS)

518
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,277
Nice.

519
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,446
(WHISPERING) Get over here.
It's a guy with a badge.

520
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:58,199
We were just playing hide and seek,
because we had a lot of time.

521
00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,617
(WHISPERS) Hurry up!

522
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:00,868
I was hiding. (CLEARS THROAT)

523
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,453
You have any traffic through here?

524
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:07,625
No, just a couple of hillbilly types
and two nerds in an RV.

525
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,751
Nerds, huh?

526
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,712
Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con.
They met Adam Shadowchild.

527
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,006
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?

528
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,385
He wrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay?

529
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:20,596
Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm.
Fluxing Uranus.

530
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,974
You know you're a grown man, right?

531
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,644
Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair?

532
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,020
All of those things.

533
00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:29,814
-Did you search that vehicle?
-O'REILLY: Yes, sir.

534
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,524
-What did you find?
-Nothing much.

535
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:36,612
Just a book with a green woman
with three titties.

536
00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:38,156
Titties. Three titties.

537
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,699
Three tits. That's awesome.

538
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,160
Oh, and some pissy jeans.

539
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,370
-Guy pissed himself.
-Close that.

540
00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:45,955
I don't know if he had
a pre-existing problem or...

541
00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:48,207
Listen to me, Frik and Fuck.

542
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:51,210
I want everything you can remember
about the pissy nerds, okay?

543
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,628
We're leaving.

544
00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:54,964
What about the roadblock, sir?

545
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,591
It didn't work.

546
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,217
(HAGGARD SIGHS)

547
00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:00,303
We gotta take down that roadblock.
It didn't work.

548
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:01,471
I'm standing right next to you.

549
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,445
-(HORN HONKING)
-(YELLS)

550
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,822
Hey!

551
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,158
Reese's Pieces! Yes!

552
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:23,659
Thank you.

553
00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:32,668
(CHATTERING ON POLlCE RADIO)

554
00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:49,519
CHRlS: I heard there was a commotion
on the road after Rachel.

555
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,771
TROOPER: Funny, I didn't hear nothing.

556
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:54,982
-It must have been the boys out at the base.
-Yeah.

557
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,108
-Hey.
-(GASPS)

558
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,193
(SHUSHES)

559
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,654
-That's a bit much, isn't it?
-What?

560
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,072
-Put it all back.
-Oh.

561
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,116
Except the donuts and the chocolate milk.

562
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:06,369
And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos.

563
00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:10,122
-What about Paul's Reese's Pieces?
-Just hurry up. Please.

564
00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:15,795
No, you go right ahead.

565
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,464
Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you.

566
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,258
-That beast outside yours?
-BOTH: What?

567
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:23,469
-GRAEME: What do you mean "beast"?
-Your RV?

568
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:25,555
Oh, the... Yes. The RV is...

569
00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:27,265
No... Yes.

570
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,516
Where are you boys from?

571
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:30,560
-England.
-England.

572
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:33,145
I heard about England. No guns.

573
00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:36,148
-Not many.
-Not really.

574
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,150
Just, you know, farmers.

575
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,571
How are police supposed to shoot anybody?

576
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:45,241
-They don't.
-They try not to.

577
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:50,997
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

578
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,665
That'll be $15.58.

579
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:58,963
$20. Just keep the change,
and give it to charity, or something.

580
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,678
PAUL: You did amazing, Graeme!

581
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:07,638
That cop didn't suspect a thing!

582
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,848
And, Clive,

583
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,933
you didn't pee your pants.

584
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:14,812
I don't mean to be a stick in the mud,
but you are asking a lot of us, all right?

585
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,065
We've only just met,
we don't know where we're going, or why.

586
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,109
You don't think we're due an explanation?

587
00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:23,070
Look, the less you guys know, the better.

588
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:24,780
I want you to have plausible deniability.

589
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:25,906
(SIGHS)

590
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:30,328
Let's just say I spent a long time
at that base thinking I was a guest.

591
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:31,579
Turns out

592
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,706
I was a prisoner.

593
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:37,209
But don't worry. I got it all under...

594
00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,294
(ALL SCREAMING)

595
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:39,503
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

596
00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:45,885
Fuck, that made me jump.

597
00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,219
Poor little thing!

598
00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:49,221
Nothing you could've done, mate.

599
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:55,186
What you doing?

600
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,021
PAUL: Just watch.

601
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:14,080
(GRUNTING)

602
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,166
(CHIRPING)

603
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:20,544
(ALL LAUGHING)

604
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:22,380
It's a miracle!

605
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,423
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

606
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,549
-(PAUL GRUNTS)
-(GASPS)

607
00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,718
Man, I'm gonna miss these. Mmm.

608
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,011
(EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT)

609
00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:30,221
Why would you do that?

610
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,515
I'm not going to eat a dead bird, am I?

611
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:33,599
(COUGHS)

612
00:31:33,684 --> 00:31:36,060
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYING ON RV STEREO)

613
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,853
PAUL: (SINGING ALONG)
Going out of my mind

614
00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:41,899
You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time

615
00:31:42,109 --> 00:31:43,192
Don't bring me down

616
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,276
Come on, guys!

617
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,696
11:00, 12:00! 11:00, 12:00!

618
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:47,780
Come on! It's fun!

619
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:51,367
If you think about it, it's time travel.

620
00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:57,665
11:00, 12:00!

621
00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,792
Yes! All right!

622
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,257
PAUL: Let me see.
GRAEME: No, just sit still.

623
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,177
You gonna draw me
like one of your French girls, Jack?

624
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,303
(KISSING)

625
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,306
I'm joking. I'm sorry.

626
00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:17,727
Just don't make me look fat, okay?
Earth's gravity adds 10 pounds.

627
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:20,563
Paul, could I ask you a question?

628
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:21,814
PAUL: Shoot!

629
00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:25,025
Have you ever done that to a person?

630
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,403
Yes, I've eaten many people.

631
00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:29,280
I'm joking, big guy. Relax.

632
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,323
No, I mean, fix them.

633
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,492
Oh. No. Not a dead person.

634
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:37,455
Recently dead bird? That's one thing.
Dead person? Whole other ball game.

635
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,624
It's actually really dangerous for me.
The damage can bounce back onto me and...

636
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:41,917
(CLIVE YAWNING)

637
00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,421
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I boring you?
Have you heard this one before?

638
00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,465
Are you tired, Sausage?

639
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:50,259
Don't call me that in front of him.

640
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,011
Are you tired, though?

641
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,054
Eggy, I'm bushed.

642
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,056
You know what? We're all tired.

643
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,100
Let's just pull over
and stop for the night, huh?

644
00:32:58,185 --> 00:32:59,769
We're fugitives, Paul, all right?

645
00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:03,939
I refuse to just sit around and wait
to get fingered by the Men in Black.

646
00:33:04,024 --> 00:33:08,110
PAUL: We just gotta find somewhere quiet.
We won't draw attention to ourselves.

647
00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:10,279
CLIVE: (SIGHS)
But where are we going, Paul?

648
00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,740
Oh, you'll know it when you see it.

649
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,035
O'REILLY: Two white guys?
CHRlS: Two strange white guys.

650
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:19,163
O'REILLY: Strange white guys. Got it.
Order anything weird?

651
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,372
TROOPER: Chocolate milk.

652
00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:23,083
-Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate...
-(CAMERA CLICKING)

653
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,710
WOMAN ON RADIO: Zoil, report.

654
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,297
We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely.

655
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:31,634
We think he may be traveling in an RV
with two men from England.

656
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,719
WOMAN: New England?

657
00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:34,929
Old England.

658
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,973
Creepy. What are they, Ml6?

659
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:42,812
Negative. Just a couple of nerds
on the lam from Comic-Con.

660
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:44,396
WOMAN: My sister's kid went to that.

661
00:33:44,815 --> 00:33:46,649
Little manga faggot.

662
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:51,028
Zoil, something doesn't feel right.
I think he had help on the inside.

663
00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:52,404
(RADIO STATIC)

664
00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:55,449
I want those nerds iced

665
00:33:55,534 --> 00:34:00,079
and that little green prick
either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP.

666
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,622
ZOIL: I'm closing in. I can feel it.

667
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:05,376
In 24 hours he's gonna wish
he never set foot on planet Earth.

668
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,669
WOMAN: Good.

669
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:13,217
GRAEME: Okay. Here we are.
This is the place.

670
00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:14,760
PAUL: Yeah, this looks good.

671
00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:17,847
It doesn't look like
anyone's been murdered here.

672
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,600
(GRAEME SIGHS)

673
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:24,228
Awfully quiet.

674
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:28,023
Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend.

675
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:30,484
Hi, there.

676
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:31,777
-(GASPS)
-(PAUL GASPS)

677
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,112
(WHISPERS) There's a girl outside.

678
00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,363
(INHALES)

679
00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,701
Okay. All right. Look.

680
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:40,870
We're just a couple of regular guys

681
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:44,790
on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.

682
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:46,917
I don't think she heard you.

683
00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:48,419
I'm talking to you.

684
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:49,670
Oh, sorry.

685
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:53,215
Hi. I'm Ruth Buggs.

686
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:57,511
Good evening, Ruth.
I am the writer, Clive Gollings.

687
00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,764
This is my friend and cohort,
Mr. Graeme Willy.

688
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:01,891
Hi.

689
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:07,730
Have you got room?

690
00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:10,190
Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine.

691
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,610
It's $25 a night, including hookups

692
00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,486
and I'll need an ID to hold onto.

693
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:15,946
Okay.

694
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,410
(RUTH CHUCKLES)

695
00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:24,204
We're just a couple of regular guys

696
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,875
on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.

697
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,501
-How exciting.
-I know.

698
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,088
CLIVE: There you go. It's my passport.

699
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:37,468
The UK. I love the UK.

700
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:39,345
-GRAEME: Have you been?
-No.

701
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:40,429
You should go.

702
00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,182
Oh. Okay.

703
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,851
No, no, I meant, you should go to London.

704
00:35:45,936 --> 00:35:48,520
There's a lot of places I want to go.

705
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,190
MOSES: Ruth! Ruth! Get in here!

706
00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:53,275
I'll be by in the morning to get your money

707
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,944
so have a pleasant evening now, won't you?

708
00:35:55,028 --> 00:35:56,153
CLIVE: Thank you.
GRAEME: Thank you.

709
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,780
-Bye.
-GRAEME: And you. Bye.

710
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,119
She was lovely.

711
00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:07,289
Why don't you just marry her, then?

712
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:08,707
-Boo!
-(EXCLAIMS)

713
00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,668
PAUL: Every time, it works!

714
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,128
That was 30 seconds ago, I did it.

715
00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:15,673
(CHATTERING ON TV)

716
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:21,303
-MOSES: What took you so long?
-I was just talking, Papa.

717
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:24,264
Well, you talk too much.

718
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:25,599
Sorry, Papa.

719
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:31,063
(POP MUSlC PLAYING ON RV STEREO)

720
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:34,066
Huh?

721
00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,818
Hello.

722
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:40,531
-You want a cigarette?
-No, thanks. I don't smoke.

723
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,953
-Can I ask you something?
-Yeah, sure.

724
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:48,997
-You and Graeme, are you guys...
-What?

725
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:52,084
You know... (CLICKING TONGUE)

726
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,465
You know! You guys, two guys...

727
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,093
(GAGGING)

728
00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:05,264
Fucking kidding me?

729
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,184
(GROANING)

730
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,355
(MOANING)

731
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,151
(CHUCKLING) What are you...

732
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,987
(CONTINUES MOANING)

733
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,072
-I don't know what you mean.
-Gay!

734
00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:25,242
No! Why do people keep saying that?

735
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:26,618
No, I was just wondering.

736
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,122
It's totally cool if you are.
Everyone's bi on my planet.

737
00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,374
It's all about the pleasure thing.
You know what I'm saying?

738
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,919
Why are you here, Paul?

739
00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:38,255
Oh, I was here on a science mission, actually,

740
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:42,509
and then I had some
spaceship-related problems,

741
00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,512
and I kind of crashed.

742
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,639
(CHUCKLES) Lucky for me though,
this little girl,

743
00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:48,724
she pulls me out of the wreck.

744
00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,643
Next thing I know, guys arrive,
cart me off to the base.

745
00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:53,187
(SCOFFING CHUCKLE)

746
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,314
What have you been doing here
all this time?

747
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:59,109
I've been kicking back, man.
I've been shooting the shit.

748
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:01,111
I've been advising the government.

749
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:02,362
Not just the government.

750
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,617
SPIELBERG ON RADIO: I want him
to have some kind of a special power.

751
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,869
Something messianic.

752
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:12,539
Okay, Steven,
how about cellular revivification?

753
00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:14,041
Yeah, I don't know what that is.

754
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,876
Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue

755
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,378
through telepathic manipulation
of intrinsic field memory.

756
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,298
-What's that mean?
-It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.

757
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:22,966
Yeah, right. Healing.

758
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,010
By touch, or something like that.

759
00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:27,888
Maybe his finger lights up at the end
when he reaches out and touches?

760
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,724
Maybe. You know, sometimes
I find less is more.

761
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,726
Hey. Trust me.

762
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,604
You'd be surprised how much
he's influenced popular culture

763
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:36,730
over the last 60 years.

764
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:38,649
Agent Mulder was right.

765
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,360
-Agent Mulder was my idea!
-Really?

766
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,736
-Wow!
-Yeah!

767
00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:43,987
That's cool.

768
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:47,741
Pump that shit, Earth-man. I like this song.
Mmm.

769
00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:49,034
Marvin's my boy.

770
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,994
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYING)

771
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,289
Come on. Break it down a bit, boys.

772
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,583
Don't be afraid.

773
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,127
Yeah, look at me, I'm breaking it down.

774
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,091
Use them tongs.

775
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,260
Dance with those tongs.

776
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,928
Stoke the fire!

777
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:10,514
Ooh! Ooh!

778
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,015
Yes.

779
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:14,893
(PAUL HUMMING)

780
00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:16,520
Yee-haw!

781
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,025
(PAUL LAUGHING)

782
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,284
(PAUL SINGING NONSENSICALLY)

783
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:33,787
MOSES: Ruth! Prayers!

784
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:37,165
PAUL: I don't know the words to this song.

785
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,876
No one does!

786
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,377
(CLIVE AND GRAEME LAUGHING)

787
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,462
PAUL: Hey! Guys, let's get fucked up.

788
00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:47,217
(SNORING)

789
00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:49,177
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-(GROANS)

790
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,222
Oh, who's knocking? Stop it.

791
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:55,017
-What are you doing?
-Oh, shut up.

792
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:56,935
(GRUNTING)

793
00:39:58,271 --> 00:39:59,688
PAUL: I'll hide in here.

794
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,607
-Don't come out.
-PAUL: Why would I come out?

795
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,108
-Who is it?
-It's Ruth.

796
00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,736
Ooh... Don't you dare open that door.

797
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,112
-Hi.
-Hello.

798
00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:09,323
Good morning. May I come in?

799
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:13,285
-No. I don't think you should come in.
-Yeah. Make yourself at home.

800
00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,954
-I'm not really dressed.
-Sure. In you come.

801
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,664
Oh, was everything okay?

802
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:22,252
-Yes it was. It was very nice. The best. Ever.
-Yes, thank you. Adequate.

803
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:23,670
So, where's the other one?

804
00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:26,632
The other one? It's just...

805
00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:29,217
Oh, oh.
It's okay, we don't charge by the person.

806
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:32,971
There were three shadows I saw
dancing around the RV last night, right?

807
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:35,557
-The other one. The other one.
-Oh... He...

808
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:38,727
PAUL: I'm in the can. I ate a closed pistachio.

809
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,811
(FARTING)

810
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,355
I'm paying for it.

811
00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:42,773
(CHUCKLES)

812
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:46,902
-That's a nice T-shirt.
-Oh, thanks. I got it at my church.

813
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,780
It's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.

814
00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,199
Why would Jesus
want to shoot Charles Darwin?

815
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,494
Because of his blasphemous theories.

816
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:56,703
Are you men of God?

817
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,710
We're men of science, you know.

818
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:06,880
We believe in the establishment
of a biological order

819
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,549
through the maelstrom
of physical and chemical chaos.

820
00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,679
God created the Earth in six days,
and on the seventh day he rested.

821
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:14,972
PAUL: Really?

822
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,431
(FARTING)

823
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,893
Or it could be God. You don't know, do you?
It's up in the air.

824
00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:24,147
The world is 4,000 years old and can only
be the product of intelligent design.

825
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,941
-PAUL: Oh, that's horseshit.
-Oh!

826
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:27,526
(SCOFFS)

827
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,778
All right, well, then,

828
00:41:29,862 --> 00:41:33,573
please explain how something
as complex as the human eye

829
00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:35,409
simply just comes into being. (LAUGHS)

830
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:38,662
PAUL: Oh, don't give me that old
irreducible complexity crap.

831
00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:41,707
Something as intricate as that
does not just occur

832
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:44,001
without the intervention of a guiding hand.

833
00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:45,711
It didn't just occur!

834
00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:48,255
It is the culmination
of billions of years of development

835
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,841
-across countless fucking species.
-(GASPS)

836
00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,467
What are you talking about?

837
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,720
-Evolution, baby.
-Oh!

838
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,222
-Blasphemy!
-Oh, yeah.

839
00:41:57,306 --> 00:42:01,309
Nothing that you can say or do
can shake my belief or faith

840
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:04,021
in the sure and certain knowledge
that God made heaven and earth

841
00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,939
and created us all in His own image.

842
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:07,357
-Oh, his own image?
-Yeah.

843
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,443
Well, I got a question.

844
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:11,987
How do you explain me?

845
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:13,530
(GASPS)

846
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,782
She's going, she's falling. Catch...

847
00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,827
And that's Jenga.

848
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,581
-Why did you do that?
-(STAMMERING) She fainted!

849
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:23,832
We've gone through this! They faint!

850
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:25,333
But we're going to have to
take her with us now!

851
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:27,127
No! No!

852
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,672
This is America. Kidnapping a Christian?
That's worse than harboring a fugitive.

853
00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:33,884
But she's seen you.
lf we leave her, she's going to call the police!

854
00:42:34,010 --> 00:42:36,928
Who gives a shit? No one's going to
believe this God-bothering Cyclops.

855
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:39,765
Let's just dump her on the road!
Just roll her up in the rug.

856
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:43,226
We can't risk that! If we take her with us,
then we can get her on our side!

857
00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,228
You'd love to get her on her side,
wouldn't you?

858
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,772
That doesn't make sense.

859
00:42:46,856 --> 00:42:49,399
Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice.

860
00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:51,526
All right. What about my passport?

861
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,071
Oh, God! You guys.

862
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:02,078
PAUL: Mmm-hmm.

863
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,541
(GASPS) No!

864
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:07,918
(GRUNTS)

865
00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,050
(EXCLAIMS)

866
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,681
(LAUGHS) Oh, shit.

867
00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:24,643
Ruth, what in the Lord's name...

868
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:26,937
-Morning.
-Morning.

869
00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:28,063
(INHALES)

870
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,773
(GASPS)

871
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:33,401
Go, go, go!

872
00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:38,573
Oh, fuck. (INHALES)

873
00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:41,284
MOSES: Show yourself, demon!

874
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,620
GRAEME: Where are you? Where are you?

875
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:44,955
PAUL: Passport! Passport!

876
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:46,373
Jump! Jump!

877
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:48,333
(PAUL GRUNTING)

878
00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:51,461
-(BOTH SCREAMING)
-(GASPS)

879
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,505
What? That's actually small on my planet.

880
00:43:53,589 --> 00:43:54,589
(GROANS)

881
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:00,804
(PANTING)

882
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,152
GRAEME: (ECHOING) Ruth?

883
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:20,031
Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?

884
00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:23,994
Where am I?

885
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:26,538
Hey, look who's awake.

886
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,707
Demon! Demon!

887
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:31,543
GRAEME: (STAMMERING) We're sorry.
We're not going to hurt you, I promise.

888
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,545
And we'll let you go just as soon as we can.

889
00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,006
You've been deceived
by an agent of Satan himself.

890
00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:38,133
-He's evil!
-I'm sitting right here, come on!

891
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:42,262
No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude.
We're trying to help him get home.

892
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:43,847
He's from another world.

893
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:47,893
There's only one world, our world!
The world that our God, the Father, created!

894
00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,477
If it makes you feel any better

895
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,521
my existence
only disproves traditional notions

896
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,231
of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God,

897
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,817
as well as all one-world theologies.
That's all I meant.

898
00:44:55,902 --> 00:45:00,071
(SINGING)
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

899
00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:01,907
-You can't win with these people!
-(RUTH CONTINUES SINGING)

900
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:05,577
Ruth, just listen to me, for one second.
Please, if you could just calm down.

901
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,997
-(ALL CHATTERING)
-I can't drive like this.

902
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,332
(BABBLING)

903
00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:13,043
She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this.

904
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,131
(SCREECHING)

905
00:45:24,513 --> 00:45:25,680
-Oh.
-(PAUL GRUNTS)

906
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,349
(GROANING)

907
00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:29,559
What did you do to her?

908
00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,645
I just transferred
my collective knowledge and experience

909
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,521
via a tactile psychokinetic bridge.

910
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:34,898
Ooh, wow, could you do me?

911
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:36,608
It really takes it out of me.

912
00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:38,109
-Oh, go on, please.
-(GRUNTS)

913
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,364
(PAUL GRUNTS)

914
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:43,531
Oh, wow!

915
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,034
Oh, yeah.

916
00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:48,036
He always knew what was going on
in Battlestar before me

917
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120
'cause his mum had cable.

918
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,956
Fine, pull over. I'll do you.

919
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,124
Absolutely not. No spoilers.

920
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,380
MOSES: I didn't call the government.
I called the police!

921
00:45:58,464 --> 00:46:01,424
This is not the police's area of expertise,
Mr. Buggs.

922
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:05,428
-That devil took my daughter.
-What do you mean, devil?

923
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:07,806
And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it?

924
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:11,518
That's right. I brought her up
by myself after her mama died.

925
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,269
ZOlL: Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir?

926
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:15,063
Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot.

927
00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:18,566
She's had this eye thing
since she was four years old.

928
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:21,111
ZOlL: Didn't want to take her
to a doctor for that?

929
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:23,613
The good Lord is the only doctor
she'll ever need.

930
00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:25,991
Copy that. Do you have a phone here

931
00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:28,743
that your daughter might try to
reach you at if she decides to call?

932
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,120
Yeah, in the back.

933
00:46:30,496 --> 00:46:34,207
Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy
down and get to the phone?

934
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,709
(EXHALES) Right.

935
00:46:36,168 --> 00:46:37,460
MOSES: She'll call me if she can.

936
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,797
ZOlL: You mentioned they went east?
MOSES: That's right.

937
00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:42,924
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-They'll get off the 191 after Flaming Gorge

938
00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,175
if they ain't on the interstate.

939
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:45,969
There's been a big-rig spill...

940
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,013
(HAGGARD READING)

941
00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:51,266
ZOlL: Here we go. Boys, to the car.

942
00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:54,728
Thank you very, very much for your time, sir.

943
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:59,399
Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil.
Kill it for what it is.

944
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:01,401
We're gonna do our best.

945
00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,528
-I've seen its eyes.
-Mmm-hmm.

946
00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:04,946
It's evil.

947
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:09,159
Godspeed, Mr. Zoil.

948
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,704
First 48 are crucial.

949
00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:17,542
Sir, you mind telling us
what we're looking for?

950
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:18,793
Yeah, what are we looking for?

951
00:47:18,878 --> 00:47:21,171
I told you this is a need-to-know operation.

952
00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:23,840
Yes, sir, but...

953
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:26,718
Damn it.

954
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:28,511
(STATIC)

955
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:30,472
HAGGARD ON SCANNER:
Sir, I think it's time you tell us.

956
00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:33,516
ZOlL: Hey, just do
what the fuck I tell you, Haggard.

957
00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:38,313
Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's
little girl before it's too late.

958
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,320
Ruth!

959
00:47:46,155 --> 00:47:47,238
Ruth, wait!

960
00:47:47,323 --> 00:47:48,573
Leave me alone!

961
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:50,492
Please, please, stop. I've got shin splints.

962
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,785
(GROANING)

963
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:56,998
He cannot be from space! It's not possible.

964
00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:58,416
He's from somewhere else.

965
00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:01,586
Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay?
He showed you.

966
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,963
There's probably billions
of intelligent civilizations out there.

967
00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,591
(SCOFFS) So where is everybody? Hmm?

968
00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:08,968
But one of them's there!

969
00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:10,845
PAUL: Are they looking? Are they looking?

970
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,806
Are they looking right now? (LAUGHING)

971
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:14,182
Sorry.

972
00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:18,353
That's pathetic.

973
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:21,981
What's your beef, Clive?

974
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:23,775
I don't have a beef.

975
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:25,652
(CHUCKLES)

976
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,447
I'm from outer space.
You're a science-fiction writer.

977
00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:31,199
We should be best buds.

978
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,326
It's not you.

979
00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,037
It's me.

980
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:38,998
(INAUDIBLE)

981
00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:43,294
Is that what this is? You're jealous? Of her?

982
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:46,297
CLIVE: It's not just that.

983
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:48,967
PAUL: Whoa.

984
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:50,885
Of me?

985
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,721
This is because me and Graeme

986
00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,807
got two minutes of face-time
while you were sleeping?

987
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,977
-Is that what this is?
-I wanted this to be special, you know?

988
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,938
I have dreamt about meeting you

989
00:49:02,022 --> 00:49:04,607
(CHUCKLES) ever since I saw Mac and Me.

990
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,317
And I blew it.

991
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:09,362
Now you two are friendly,
and he's off talking to girls

992
00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,865
and it's like, where am I?

993
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,491
Come on, man.

994
00:49:13,576 --> 00:49:15,994
This is special.

995
00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:20,248
You guys being all nerdy and shit
and meeting me. That is fate.

996
00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:23,209
Who cares if you pissed your pants, man?

997
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:26,754
When I first got here,
first time I saw a human, I puked.

998
00:49:27,923 --> 00:49:29,716
You guys are weird looking.

999
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,094
You have giant bodies.
You have tiny, little, tiny heads.

1000
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:36,514
-You're just being nice now.
-(LAUGHS) No.

1001
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,349
Look, you want a little sugar?

1002
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:40,727
(NERVOUS GROAN)

1003
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,687
It's just knowledge and experience, man.

1004
00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:45,398
You're a writer.
Might give you some inspiration.

1005
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:46,733
Will it hurt?

1006
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:49,110
Only if you struggle.

1007
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:50,945
All right.

1008
00:49:51,447 --> 00:49:52,447
(GRUNTS)

1009
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:56,868
(HORN HONKING)

1010
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,871
So, everything that I have been told
my whole life

1011
00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,623
is just a big fat lie.

1012
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,334
Do you know how that feels?

1013
00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:09,047
Just because your truth isn't a true truth
doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth.

1014
00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:11,633
-That's easy for you to say.
-It's really not.

1015
00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:17,222
So there's no heaven.
No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin?

1016
00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:18,556
Well...

1017
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,434
-I can drink?
-lf you like.

1018
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,020
-I can fornicate?
-Maybe.

1019
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,189
-I can curse?
-Well, yeah.

1020
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:27,732
-Penises!
-Ruth.

1021
00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:31,402
Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes!

1022
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,071
Ruth, I'm not sure this is helping.

1023
00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:35,949
What are you doing?

1024
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,743
-(EXCLAIMS) Stop it!
-Why? Why should I stop?

1025
00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:40,828
(EXCLAIMS)

1026
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:43,206
This is not...

1027
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:49,754
Because you have your whole life
to explore new things.

1028
00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:51,089
Okay?

1029
00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:55,009
It doesn't necessarily mean
you should be exploring mine right now.

1030
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:03,101
You said you wanted to travel,
to see new stuff? This is your chance.

1031
00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:06,437
I really think you should come with us.

1032
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:07,605
Where would I sleep?

1033
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,608
I'll sleep on the sofa.
And then you can have my bed.

1034
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:14,570
But I'd push the tissues off with a pen,
if I were you, because I've had a cold.

1035
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:16,281
Oh.

1036
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,659
(REGGAE MUSlC PLAYING ON STEREO)

1037
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:25,415
Ruth has decided
that she would like to come with us.

1038
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:27,375
(EXHALES)

1039
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,501
Wicked.

1040
00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:31,838
I'm gonna go freshen up.

1041
00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:35,300
Hey, Ruth. Wait up.

1042
00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:37,051
You don't smoke.

1043
00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:38,594
I just wanted to say thanks.

1044
00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:41,139
I know this has been weird for you,

1045
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:44,809
but you saved my life
and I owe you one, okay?

1046
00:51:44,893 --> 00:51:46,185
Okay.

1047
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:49,188
What have you got there, by the way?

1048
00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:53,484
Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by
macular edema in your left vitreous cavity?

1049
00:51:53,569 --> 00:51:54,944
How did you know that?

1050
00:51:55,404 --> 00:51:56,779
Lucky guess.

1051
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,032
Do you mind if I take a look at it
for one second?

1052
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:08,416
What does it say in the Old Testament?
"An eye for an eye"?

1053
00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:11,669
-Wait, I don't...
-It's okay. You can trust me.

1054
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:14,922
-I don't know...
-Just have a little faith, okay?

1055
00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:21,429
(GRUNTING)

1056
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,937
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)

1057
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:41,616
(GASPS) Oh!

1058
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,495
How did you do that?

1059
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,998
Evolution, baby.

1060
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:53,961
(PAUL CHUCKLES)

1061
00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,049
-Graeme?
-Yeah?

1062
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,303
GRAEME: Oh, my God. Clive.

1063
00:53:02,388 --> 00:53:04,389
-CLIVE: Oh, my God.
-(GRAEME LAUGHING)

1064
00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:09,936
(SNORING)

1065
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,450
PAUL: What are you going to do?
Come on. Make your move.

1066
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,785
Oh, shit. Damn it.

1067
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:48,433
(SNORING)

1068
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:53,729
-(HORN BLARING)
-(GASPS)

1069
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,442
(SHUSHING)

1070
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:02,947
PAUL: Hey, check it out! Check it out!

1071
00:54:03,365 --> 00:54:04,407
-Huh?
-(TlRES SCREECHING)

1072
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,117
This is easy.

1073
00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:07,618
(NERVOUS MOAN)

1074
00:54:07,703 --> 00:54:10,413
Small corrections, Paul.
Just make small corrections.

1075
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:12,165
PAUL: Graeme, hit the brakes!

1076
00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,471
Hey, there, sleepy face!

1077
00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:30,766
Fuckeroo. That was the best
titty-farting sleep I have ever had.

1078
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,645
I got a feeling
that you're new to cursing, Ruth.

1079
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:38,566
Look, cursing's fun.
You just gotta pick your moments, okay?

1080
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:41,402
Maybe we should stop for some food.
Is anybody hungry?

1081
00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:42,778
-Fuck, yeah!
-GRAEME: Ruth?

1082
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:45,364
You bet your big, fat cock I am!

1083
00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:46,782
Nice!

1084
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:48,493
CLIVE: I'm starving.

1085
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,203
What's new, fatty?

1086
00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:53,664
-It's not fat, Paul, it's power.
-PAUL: Fat power.

1087
00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,041
-So rude.
-PAUL: You're rude.

1088
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,167
RUTH: Maybe I should call my dad.

1089
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:58,544
-What?
-What? Why?

1090
00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,754
I've been gone for a whole day

1091
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:03,007
and if he calls the police,
they're gonna be looking for us.

1092
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:05,676
lf I don't, there's a good chance
we could all end up in Shit-Butt City.

1093
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,720
You're really getting the hang of this.

1094
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:09,055
Thanks, dick milk.

1095
00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:10,181
(PAUL GROANS)

1096
00:55:17,397 --> 00:55:18,356
(MOTORCYCLE REVVING)

1097
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,857
(WOMAN WHOOPING)

1098
00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:29,742
(BAND PLAYING COUNTRY MUSlC)

1099
00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:44,090
-I won't be long.
-Okay. Be careful.

1100
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,855
(RINGING)

1101
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:02,275
-ZOlL: Ruth Buggs?
-Yes?

1102
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:05,736
Listen to me carefully.
I want you to tell me where you are.

1103
00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:06,904
Who is this?

1104
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,115
My name is Agent Zoil,

1105
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,075
and it's very important that you tell me
where you are

1106
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:12,994
and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs.

1107
00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:14,996
I can't tell you.

1108
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,498
I mean, I don't know.

1109
00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:19,250
You've been abducted.

1110
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:22,378
And the individual that you're traveling with
is highly dangerous.

1111
00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,255
Oh, no, he's not dangerous.

1112
00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:27,008
I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a lot,

1113
00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:30,761
and a couple times
I've seen him scratch his spaceman balls.

1114
00:56:30,846 --> 00:56:32,179
(LAUGHING)

1115
00:56:33,348 --> 00:56:36,267
Please listen to me.
Your father is extremely worried about you

1116
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,394
and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs.

1117
00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:40,813
He showed me things.

1118
00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:42,898
She's talking about his spaceman balls.

1119
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,859
You know I'm just trying to help you,
right, Ruth?

1120
00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:48,321
I don't know what's real anymore.
I'm confused.

1121
00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:50,448
-We got the bitch!
-O'REILLY: Yeah, dog! Up high!

1122
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:52,408
ZOIL: Damn it, Haggard! Miss...

1123
00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:57,163
BOTH: Hey.

1124
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,332
Whoa, slow down there, baby.

1125
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,292
-Excuse me, I have to get to my friends.
-Oh.

1126
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:04,420
I got a friend down here
that would love to meet you.

1127
00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:05,546
(LAUGHING)

1128
00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:06,881
Me, too.

1129
00:57:06,965 --> 00:57:08,382
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1130
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:10,843
Well, as much as I would like
to meet your penises,

1131
00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,261
I'm in a hurry, so excuse me.

1132
00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:14,388
Now, this won't take long, sugar.

1133
00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:16,932
Nope. Won't take long at all.

1134
00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:20,478
Well, since you're both being so romantic,
maybe I could

1135
00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:22,355
give it just a quick hello.

1136
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:24,231
-(PUNCHES)
-(GROANS) What the fuck? Shit!

1137
00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:25,816
Now, why would you even...

1138
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:26,984
Ow! My balls!

1139
00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:28,402
(GUS AND JAKE YELLING)

1140
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:30,071
-Hey.
-GRAEME: Hey, how's your dad?

1141
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:31,947
-We gotta go.
-What about the mini pizzas?

1142
00:57:32,032 --> 00:57:33,449
-We gotta go now!
-GUS: No, you don't!

1143
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,409
Holy shit!

1144
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:39,372
It's the space faggots
that dinged the fuck-mobile!

1145
00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:41,499
-Yeah. We were just leaving.
-I don't feel well.

1146
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,751
-JAKE: I don't think so.
-Leave her alone!

1147
00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:46,003
GUS: Oh, shit! Sailors!

1148
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:47,963
-Let's go.
-Sorry!

1149
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,424
Excuse me, miss.

1150
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,094
Papa?

1151
00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:58,265
Ruth? My Lord! Your eye!

1152
00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:01,685
-Let's go!
-What about my dad?

1153
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:02,978
Let's go, boy!

1154
00:58:07,776 --> 00:58:09,360
JAKE: Where you going, girls?

1155
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,904
Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas!

1156
00:58:11,988 --> 00:58:14,782
That's no way for a pretty little thing
like you to talk!

1157
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:15,950
She's fairly new to it, to be honest.

1158
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,702
Leave this to me. I'll talk to them.

1159
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,621
(BOTH GASP)

1160
00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:26,168
Yo, fucknuts!

1161
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:27,962
It's probing time.

1162
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:29,713
Oh.

1163
00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,465
(SlREN WAlLING IN DISTANCE)

1164
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,802
Ha! Only one of us fainted.

1165
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,971
Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce.

1166
00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:39,306
I'm sorry. They answered the phone.

1167
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,058
They knew about us.

1168
00:58:42,477 --> 00:58:44,228
Get in the RV.

1169
00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:47,106
-Come on, they're going to wake up!
-Hurry!

1170
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,570
CLIVE: Sorry!

1171
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,614
PAUL: Okay. We need to get off the road.

1172
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,575
-Shouldn't we keep moving?
-No.

1173
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,743
That is exactly what they'll expect us to do.

1174
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:03,205
Trust me.
Only an idiot would stop right now.

1175
00:59:03,665 --> 00:59:06,167
-Yeah, pull in here. Perfect.
-CLIVE: What? Paul.

1176
00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:08,127
PAUL: We're idiots, remember?

1177
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,267
What should we do now?

1178
00:59:24,144 --> 00:59:25,811
How about a hot chocolate and bed?

1179
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,271
What are you, my grandma?

1180
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:30,316
Oh, I couldn't sleep. I'm too pumped.

1181
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,319
Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers.
Find somewhere to chill.

1182
00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:34,612
What do you say?

1183
00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:36,113
What if someone sees you?

1184
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,823
It's dead out there. And I can do this.

1185
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:38,908
(INHALES)

1186
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,911
Okay. I'm in.

1187
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,579
-PAUL: Rocky?
-Sure.

1188
00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:45,080
PAUL: Bullwinkle?

1189
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:46,790
I'm a little bit tired.

1190
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,083
PAUL: Don't be a pussy.

1191
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,877
(WHISPERING) Don't call me a...

1192
00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:51,670
All right.

1193
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,297
(SlRENS WAlLING)

1194
00:59:54,674 --> 00:59:56,509
Just get your hands off me!

1195
01:00:05,810 --> 01:00:07,019
ZOlL: Hoss?

1196
01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:10,064
Something I can help you with?

1197
01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:13,192
Yeah. You mind telling me
what happened here?

1198
01:00:13,276 --> 01:00:15,819
Just a good old-fashioned
beer-soaked slobberknocker.

1199
01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,404
See anything unusual?

1200
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:22,618
A couple hillbilly types in the back
of that meat wagon won't stop crying.

1201
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:31,669
Have you gentlemen seen
anything unusual this evening?

1202
01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:33,170
-Uh-uh.
-Uh-uh.

1203
01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:35,506
Are we sure?

1204
01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:37,174
Mmm-hmm.

1205
01:00:38,718 --> 01:00:41,220
-Thank you.
-No sweat.

1206
01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:48,185
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1207
01:00:53,024 --> 01:00:55,609
RUTH: It's a nice window.
GRAEME: It's a little cowboy, isn't it?

1208
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:56,860
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1209
01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:58,862
GRAEME: That's funny.

1210
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:04,118
I'll tell you what else is funny,
was when you kissed me yesterday.

1211
01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:05,244
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

1212
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:06,912
-Sorry.
-No. It's not...

1213
01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:11,292
I was like, "Get off me, you rapist."

1214
01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:17,590
-Do it again, if you like.
-What?

1215
01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:19,842
I said you can do it again, if you like.

1216
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,262
Really?

1217
01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:26,140
lf you're gonna try it, then maybe
you should do it with a friend,

1218
01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,017
rather than someone like a stranger

1219
01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:30,102
because there's a lot of weirdos out there.

1220
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:33,272
I am planning on doing a lot of kissing
and fornicating

1221
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,941
so you'd really be helping me out.

1222
01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:37,651
-Great.
-Okay.

1223
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:40,237
-(GASPS) What, now?
-No, I thought you meant...

1224
01:01:40,322 --> 01:01:41,989
No, I did. Let's do it now.

1225
01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,366
-I mean...
-Yeah, all right.

1226
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:45,993
Put my hands on you.

1227
01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:47,953
Just stand here? Okay.

1228
01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,413
Hold you steady.

1229
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:54,084
-(PAUL EXHALES)
-(BOTH GASP)

1230
01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:55,252
Fuck!

1231
01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:58,297
I'm sorry. I thought I was gonna pass out.
(EXHALES)

1232
01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,632
Carry on.

1233
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,718
-What's happening?
-Nothing, just hanging around.

1234
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:06,555
They were about to make out.
It was awkward.

1235
01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:08,432
We were just...

1236
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,811
Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul.

1237
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:19,276
You guys partake?

1238
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:21,028
No, thank you.

1239
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:23,113
I'll partake.

1240
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,992
Are you sure?
(LAUGHING) It's pretty strong shit.

1241
01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,828
I got it from the military, actually.
This is the stuff that killed Dylan.

1242
01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,163
Bob Dylan's not dead.

1243
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,123
Isn't he?

1244
01:02:35,251 --> 01:02:36,377
Hit me.

1245
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,213
Okay. Just go easy on it.

1246
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:40,756
Ruth.

1247
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,633
Just a little bit. Little bit.

1248
01:02:52,644 --> 01:02:53,811
It's not so bad.

1249
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,480
To be fair,
it takes a while to be absorbed into...

1250
01:02:56,564 --> 01:02:57,856
-(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
-PAUL: Oh, shit.

1251
01:03:02,737 --> 01:03:06,031
(GASPS) I'm hungry.
We should cook up some sausages.

1252
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,991
-Do we have any sausages?
-Uh...

1253
01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:09,660
-What do you mean by that?
-No.

1254
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:13,080
Why do you guys hate me?
Can we cook up some sausages?

1255
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:15,833
Ooh, I have wasps in my brain!

1256
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,000
(CLATTERING)

1257
01:03:18,169 --> 01:03:21,463
She'll be fine.
That happened to me the first time.

1258
01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:24,174
Paul.

1259
01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:27,678
I was wanting to ask.
You know us now, right?

1260
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:31,682
Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs. (SPITS)

1261
01:03:31,850 --> 01:03:33,058
(LAUGHS)

1262
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,394
Why are you in such a hurry to leave now?

1263
01:03:36,020 --> 01:03:37,312
(EXHALES)

1264
01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:42,443
Well, according to the government,
I've fulfilled my usefulness.

1265
01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:44,194
I told them everything I know.

1266
01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:47,906
The only thing I have left
to offer them now are my abilities.

1267
01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:51,744
The healing, the thought transfer,
the camouflage.

1268
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:55,497
In order to cultivate those abilities,
they need some of my stem cells.

1269
01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:57,750
And I'm not really down with that.

1270
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,794
Lucky for me,
I do have one friend left on the inside.

1271
01:04:00,879 --> 01:04:03,255
So, I managed to get an SOS
beamed into space.

1272
01:04:03,339 --> 01:04:06,467
I got my people primed
and ready to pick me up.

1273
01:04:06,551 --> 01:04:09,428
Then, motherfuckers brought
the procedure forward by a day,

1274
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,971
my whole plan goes to shit.

1275
01:04:11,055 --> 01:04:12,139
What happened?

1276
01:04:12,223 --> 01:04:16,518
On the way to the mental labs, I zapped
my escort, I stole his car, I took off.

1277
01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:18,312
Found you guys.

1278
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,439
So what happens if you get caught?

1279
01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:24,234
Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain.

1280
01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:26,069
Oh.

1281
01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,156
PAUL: Yeah. It's fucked.

1282
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,366
It's kind of a buzz-kill.

1283
01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,536
Let's lighten the mood, shall we?
Clive, when did you last get laid?

1284
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:37,831
Oh. Mmm.

1285
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:42,419
-Collectormania, London, '08.
-'08.

1286
01:04:42,504 --> 01:04:43,796
Ewok chick. (CHUCKLES)

1287
01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,548
Clive likes boning space bears! (LAUGHING)

1288
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,425
Shut up.

1289
01:04:48,927 --> 01:04:51,595
No, but seriously, be honest with me.

1290
01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:52,763
What was it like?

1291
01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:56,183
Well, she was furry nice.

1292
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:57,351
(PAUL EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

1293
01:04:57,435 --> 01:05:00,813
That's disgusting! That's gross.

1294
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,272
(ALL LAUGHING)

1295
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,362
-PAUL: Hey, Clive.
-(GIGGLES)

1296
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:10,614
No, Boomer, it's forbidden.

1297
01:05:10,698 --> 01:05:12,658
Hey, Clive.

1298
01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,201
-Hey!
-Clive!

1299
01:05:14,285 --> 01:05:16,745
Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here!

1300
01:05:18,122 --> 01:05:21,124
(GROANS)

1301
01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,043
(YAWNING)

1302
01:05:23,127 --> 01:05:24,920
Where's Ruth?

1303
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,464
She went back to the RV.

1304
01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:29,299
(LAUGHING)

1305
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,759
Of course!

1306
01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:32,928
He can read minds.

1307
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:34,054
CLIVE: Come on.

1308
01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:39,643
PAUL: Guys, I think we have a slight problem
over here.

1309
01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:43,981
Oh, man.

1310
01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:48,193
I can't hold my breath
the whole way through town.

1311
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:50,904
Wait here.

1312
01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,158
What? Wait!

1313
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:07,129
Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service.

1314
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,256
You mind if I come in there
and ask a few questions?

1315
01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:10,757
Not at all.

1316
01:06:17,515 --> 01:06:18,557
Morning.

1317
01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:25,772
-PAUL: Why are we holding hands?
-So we look like a family.

1318
01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:27,691
PAUL: Yeah, the fucking Friedmans.

1319
01:06:27,775 --> 01:06:28,984
You could be a midget.

1320
01:06:29,068 --> 01:06:30,903
-You're obsessed with midgets!
-No, I'm not!

1321
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,697
(WHISPERING) Stop it! Just act normal.

1322
01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:37,951
We're just a couple of regular guys walking
down the street with a small cowboy.

1323
01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:39,119
All right, Clive?

1324
01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:40,746
Clive?

1325
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,998
-Clive.
-PAUL: Oh, come on!

1326
01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:49,922
(WHISPERING) Clive, what are you doing?

1327
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,423
PAUL: Yeah, man, what the fuck?

1328
01:06:51,507 --> 01:06:52,633
I want it.

1329
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:56,845
I can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is
not Comic-Con now. This is reality.

1330
01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:59,932
PAUL: It's false economy anyway,
it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go!

1331
01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:02,392
-Why would I ever use it?
-Can we just go, please?

1332
01:07:02,477 --> 01:07:04,978
Wait. Maybe we should go inside.

1333
01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:06,605
GRAEME: What?
PAUL: We'll hide out.

1334
01:07:06,689 --> 01:07:09,775
You go back and get Ruth.
Get the RV, pick us up in 1 0 minutes.

1335
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:10,901
You sure?

1336
01:07:12,236 --> 01:07:13,445
Trust me.

1337
01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:14,780
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1338
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,323
(GASPS)

1339
01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:21,620
Good morning.
My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service.

1340
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:23,997
Mind if I come in, ask you a few questions?

1341
01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:26,583
Do you mind if we just do it right here?

1342
01:07:26,668 --> 01:07:27,668
Okay.

1343
01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:30,629
This place is a real cock-sucking mess.

1344
01:07:31,756 --> 01:07:32,798
Got it.

1345
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:37,761
I'm telling you,
we're looking for a goddamn alien.

1346
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:40,389
I thought all that Project Blue Book stuff
was horseshit.

1347
01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:41,848
No, it all makes sense.

1348
01:07:41,933 --> 01:07:43,642
All this hush-hush crap?

1349
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:45,227
-The drawing that I found?
-Mmm-hmm.

1350
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,729
What do you think that girl
was talking about last night?

1351
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:49,856
Holy shit! Spaceman balls!

1352
01:07:49,941 --> 01:07:52,526
Yeah. And who has spaceman balls?

1353
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,486
-Buzz Aldrin?
-Be serious.

1354
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,238
(MIMICS SWOOSHING)

1355
01:07:58,449 --> 01:07:59,950
(EXHALES)

1356
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:02,828
(HUMMING)

1357
01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:05,580
PAUL: Hello, handsome.

1358
01:08:06,708 --> 01:08:08,041
KElTH: Is that you?

1359
01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:09,668
Uh, huh?

1360
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,128
ls that you on the cover?

1361
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,213
(SCOFFS)

1362
01:08:13,297 --> 01:08:14,423
No. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

1363
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:16,675
-What's your name?
-Keith Nash.

1364
01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:20,470
-Nice to meet you. I'm Paul.
-Right.

1365
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,973
So, you're not freaked out by me?

1366
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:25,892
-Hmm. Yes and no.
-Huh.

1367
01:08:26,894 --> 01:08:28,437
You mind taking a look
at these photographs?

1368
01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:31,898
Tell me if you recognize either one
of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl?

1369
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,110
-Ma'am?
-No.

1370
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,112
Anything? Anything at all?

1371
01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:38,822
Mmm-mmm.

1372
01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:41,742
-(WHISPERS) You really think this is an alien?
-Yeah!

1373
01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:45,620
-This is huge! This is huge!
-I know! I know!

1374
01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:47,414
ls that a comic book shop?

1375
01:08:47,498 --> 01:08:48,999
Can we go in there?

1376
01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,418
Maybe. If you're good.

1377
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,003
Where are you coming from?

1378
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:54,254
Austin.

1379
01:08:54,338 --> 01:08:56,965
-Good town.
-Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats.

1380
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:58,717
Sorry? What'd you say?

1381
01:08:58,801 --> 01:08:59,801
Mmm-mmm.

1382
01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:02,137
Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs...

1383
01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,513
Darwin.

1384
01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:07,350
Charlotte Darwin.

1385
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:09,269
Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day.

1386
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:12,939
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1387
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,649
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-(GASPS)

1388
01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:18,361
BOTH: You are not gonna believe this.

1389
01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:21,281
You should get this one.

1390
01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:24,034
-Thanks.
-Yeah, it's good.

1391
01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:28,622
Nice! I like your style, Keith Nash.

1392
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,373
-I gotta go.
-Catch you later.

1393
01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:31,875
Bye, Paul.

1394
01:09:31,959 --> 01:09:33,043
Don't get caught.

1395
01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:34,836
(PAUL CHUCKLES)

1396
01:09:34,962 --> 01:09:36,338
Happy trails.

1397
01:09:36,506 --> 01:09:37,506
Eh?

1398
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:43,887
Huh!

1399
01:09:43,971 --> 01:09:46,473
Pretty good. Pretty good.

1400
01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:47,849
(CLEARS THROAT)

1401
01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:50,060
How much is that?

1402
01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:54,481
With the sword, $299.99 plus tax.

1403
01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:55,732
Yeah, I'll wear it now.

1404
01:09:55,817 --> 01:09:56,817
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1405
01:09:56,901 --> 01:09:58,568
HAGGARD: Come on, man, let's go!

1406
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,988
I'll be right out.

1407
01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:03,615
(EXHALES)

1408
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,034
Should have used the cufflink thing.

1409
01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,763
Spaceman balls?

1410
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,312
(UNZIPPING)

1411
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,691
Get your goddamn hands
off my motherfucking junk!

1412
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:38,775
(SCREAMS)

1413
01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:41,820
It's in there! It's in there!

1414
01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:47,033
(HAGGARD EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

1415
01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:49,077
(YELLS)

1416
01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:53,915
CLIVE: Hello.

1417
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,626
(SIGHS) O'Reilly!

1418
01:10:56,711 --> 01:10:58,461
You dumb shit,
that's just some asshole in a mask.

1419
01:10:58,546 --> 01:10:59,921
(PAUL GASPING FOR BREATH)

1420
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,715
Holy Mary, Mother of God!

1421
01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:03,675
I gotta quit smoking.

1422
01:11:03,759 --> 01:11:05,218
(SCREAMING)

1423
01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:07,387
-Let's go!
-(WOMAN SCREAMING)

1424
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:08,763
Sorry, ma'am!

1425
01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:10,140
(PAUL SCREAMS)

1426
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:11,683
(GUN FlRING)

1427
01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,314
-Shit!
-PAUL: Don't let... Behind me!

1428
01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:19,983
Hurry up, buttcracks!

1429
01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:21,067
Look, it's that nerd.

1430
01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:22,903
Oh!

1431
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,155
Oh, yeah!

1432
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:26,907
-Who was that kid?
-Keith Nash!

1433
01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:28,074
Punch it!

1434
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:30,744
I don't know what happened!
Who is that kid?

1435
01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,204
(TlRES SCREECHING)

1436
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,711
-Get the car started!
-Yes, sir!

1437
01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:43,173
Whoa, whoa. What's going on?
Did you guys get me some information?

1438
01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:44,841
We saw it. We saw the alien.

1439
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,594
It was in the comic book shop. It's hideous!
I think I shit my pants.

1440
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:48,929
I don't know what you guys
are talking about.

1441
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:51,556
You know what?

1442
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,559
You know exactly what we're talking about.

1443
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,811
I'm sick and tired
of being in the dark on this...

1444
01:11:56,896 --> 01:12:01,149
Where the fuck did he go?

1445
01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:02,776
I got your door for you.

1446
01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:03,985
I got mine.

1447
01:12:04,070 --> 01:12:06,738
He went with those nerds.

1448
01:12:06,822 --> 01:12:10,450
So, you want to follow us, big guy?

1449
01:12:10,534 --> 01:12:12,452
-You kids are gonna go back to the base.
-Uh-huh.

1450
01:12:12,536 --> 01:12:15,413
Daddy's gonna stick behind,
do a little adult work.

1451
01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:17,332
Now, tell me which way
the little green guy went.

1452
01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:19,876
-North East highway.
-North East highway.

1453
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:21,127
Straight home, now.

1454
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:23,296
(TlRES SCREECHING)

1455
01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,050
RUTH: Sorry, guys. It's my dad!

1456
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:30,262
This guy doesn't quit.
You kind of have to respect it.

1457
01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,729
-Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster.
-RUTH: Go away, Dad!

1458
01:12:39,814 --> 01:12:42,065
-Guys, calm down.
-Those asshorns are gonna catch us!

1459
01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:43,608
I said, calm down! Pull over!

1460
01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,193
-What do you mean, pull over?
-Pull over!

1461
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:06,047
All right. That's it.

1462
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:09,259
This is too dangerous.
I can make it on my own from here.

1463
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,636
-What do you mean?
-No. Graeme, you've done enough.

1464
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:14,639
I'll boost a car or something.
I can drive an automatic.

1465
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,057
You're a terrible driver!

1466
01:13:16,142 --> 01:13:18,601
He's right, Paul.
You can't even drive a spaceship.

1467
01:13:18,686 --> 01:13:20,895
I'm close now. I'll be fine.

1468
01:13:20,980 --> 01:13:22,564
But we've come all this way.

1469
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,024
Yeah, and at what cost, huh?

1470
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:27,277
I've shaken your faith.
I've almost gotten you guys killed!

1471
01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:28,528
I just want to get home.

1472
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:32,407
You are going home. I think we've come
too far to let you do this alone.

1473
01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:35,869
Yeah. What happened to BFFs?
We are in this together, Paul.

1474
01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:38,955
You bet your hairy love eggs we are.

1475
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,082
The last 72 hours
have been the ride of my life

1476
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:43,209
and I'm fucked
if I'm getting off this bus now!

1477
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,795
-Yeah, me, too.
-And me.

1478
01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:47,547
Well, that settles it.

1479
01:13:47,673 --> 01:13:49,674
We're all fucked.

1480
01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,677
Thank you guys so much.

1481
01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:57,724
If you're absolutely sure, there is
a little something you can do for me.

1482
01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:04,189
-What about this one?
-No, too small.

1483
01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:05,982
-Really?
-Yeah, too small.

1484
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:08,485
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1485
01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:13,323
-Seems rather fitting.
-Mmm.

1486
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,537
-That wasn't difficult, was it?
-No. Not at all.

1487
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,372
-Hello.
-Hello.

1488
01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:24,125
That'll be $299.99, plus tax.

1489
01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:27,253
-Same as the sword.
-(CHUCKLES)

1490
01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:31,132
PAUL: Look. They're running.
RUTH: Holy shit!

1491
01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:33,593
-Get the door.
-Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing?

1492
01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:35,303
I've been driving these things my whole life.

1493
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,138
(ENGINE STARTS)

1494
01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:39,808
PAUL: Come on! Get in, get in.

1495
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:41,851
(BOTH PANTING)

1496
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:43,103
Graceful.

1497
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:51,236
WOMAN ON RADIO:
Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect.

1498
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:55,156
A fireworks store just got ripped off
by two British nerds in an RV.

1499
01:14:55,241 --> 01:14:56,241
Son of a bitch!

1500
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,661
According to local bacon,
they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you.

1501
01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:02,080
Drive like a man,
you'll catch up to them in 30.

1502
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,833
Cops are standing down.
You better spin your ass around!

1503
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,292
Roger that!

1504
01:15:06,836 --> 01:15:08,169
(TlRES SCREECHING)

1505
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:13,049
Don't make me come out there.

1506
01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:15,385
I'm guest of honor
at the governor's ball tonight

1507
01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:16,886
and I'm dressed up real nice.

1508
01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,764
Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway?

1509
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,015
You tell me.

1510
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:23,935
You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek.

1511
01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:27,522
WOMAN ON SCANNER:
Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14.

1512
01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:29,065
ZOlL: You don't think...

1513
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:31,109
WOMAN: Son of a bitch is going back.

1514
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:34,070
He's gonna try and make contact.
We got him, Zoil.

1515
01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:35,613
Bring me back my space monkey

1516
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:39,075
and I guarantee you level 5 clearance
and all the perks.

1517
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,077
ZOIL: Great. Better parking space
would be good.

1518
01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:44,080
I don't know, man. I don't know.
He looked awful mad.

1519
01:15:44,415 --> 01:15:48,209
Fuck him. He's a dinosaur.
It's time for some new blood.

1520
01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,344
Okay. We're nearly there.

1521
01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,721
This is where we've been headed?

1522
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,390
No. I just need to make
a little stop first, okay?

1523
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:04,601
Do you think we've really got time
to be making little stops?

1524
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:07,187
This is something I really have to do.

1525
01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:10,815
Okay, stop here. This is good.
This is close enough.

1526
01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:14,068
(PAUL GROANING)

1527
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,906
Shouldn't we park a bit closer?

1528
01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,408
No. We don't want to scare her.

1529
01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:22,577
Scare who?

1530
01:16:24,496 --> 01:16:25,580
GRAEME: You knock.
CLIVE: You knock.

1531
01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:26,706
GRAEME: I always knock.

1532
01:16:27,791 --> 01:16:29,500
TARA: Who's there?

1533
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:32,587
ls that Tara Walton?

1534
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:34,923
TARA: Leave me alone.

1535
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:37,008
(CLIVE CLEARING THROAT)

1536
01:16:37,092 --> 01:16:39,677
Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings.

1537
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,555
I'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy.

1538
01:16:42,806 --> 01:16:44,098
(DOOR UNLOCKING)

1539
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,603
And what do you want?

1540
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:54,817
We're here with the alien
that killed your dog 60 years ago.

1541
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:00,782
Let's go. Let's just go.

1542
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,159
What is this? Some kind of a joke?

1543
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,623
Hey, Tara.

1544
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,126
(GASPS)

1545
01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:13,670
You!

1546
01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:15,463
(TICKING)

1547
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,929
That's a very loud clock, isn't it?

1548
01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:26,808
You have a nerve showing your face here
after all these years.

1549
01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,895
Maybe I should make some tea.

1550
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,313
TARA: I'll do it.

1551
01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:37,986
(SIGHS) Okay.

1552
01:17:47,538 --> 01:17:49,622
Look, Tara.

1553
01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:53,126
I only just stopped believing in you,
you know.

1554
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:58,256
I spent a very long time trying to convince
folks about what happened that night.

1555
01:17:58,340 --> 01:18:01,259
Everyone said I was mad!

1556
01:18:01,343 --> 01:18:05,555
They told me it was a meteor
that squashed little Paul.

1557
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:09,559
They took me away and they did tests.

1558
01:18:09,643 --> 01:18:12,061
They said it was for cosmic radiation.

1559
01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:15,690
(STAMMERING)
That I was concussed, hallucinating.

1560
01:18:15,774 --> 01:18:17,734
But I knew you were real!

1561
01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:20,737
I pulled you from that spaceship myself.

1562
01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:22,655
I kept you warm and comfortable.

1563
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:25,950
I sat there with you till the men came
to take you away.

1564
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:28,870
Pop tried to understand,

1565
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:32,957
but he would just smile and say,
"There there, Tara."

1566
01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,628
When word got out about my story,

1567
01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:42,842
kids used to come and throw stones
at the house, call me names.

1568
01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:45,762
And I just hid myself away.

1569
01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:50,058
I'd spend whole nights up there,
just staring at the sky,

1570
01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,518
hoping that I'd catch a glimpse of you.

1571
01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:54,645
And here you are.

1572
01:18:57,316 --> 01:19:00,985
I'm sorry.
lf I could have done it any other way, I...

1573
01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,279
Oh, it's okay.

1574
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:04,655
You're real.

1575
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:06,324
That's all that matters.

1576
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,408
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

1577
01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:08,993
-I was right.
-Mmm-hmm.

1578
01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:11,954
And all those folks that said I was crazy?

1579
01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:14,832
They can all just go fuck themselves.

1580
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,375
(LAUGHS)

1581
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:21,005
I brought something for you.
I thought you might want it back.

1582
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,218
Here you go.

1583
01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:26,969
(GASPS)

1584
01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:32,016
Oh, thank you.

1585
01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:38,397
(RINGING)

1586
01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:43,194
Who do you suppose that is?

1587
01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:45,029
(TARA GASPS)

1588
01:19:45,697 --> 01:19:47,740
-CLIVE: Where did that come from?
-Holy shit! It's them!

1589
01:19:47,825 --> 01:19:49,033
I'll take the front!

1590
01:19:50,536 --> 01:19:51,577
(SCREAMS) Oh!

1591
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:52,662
(HAGGARD COUGHING)

1592
01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:55,123
What the fuck are you doing here?

1593
01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:56,541
Go! Go!

1594
01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:58,709
(ALL COUGHING)

1595
01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:04,257
Haggard!

1596
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,466
HAGGARD: Alien!

1597
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:06,884
(YELLING)

1598
01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:14,225
(GASPING)

1599
01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:19,981
Shit! Haggard! Where's the party, man?

1600
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,567
There's no one in this place!
Come on, buddy, help me out.

1601
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:23,693
Oh, fuck!

1602
01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:26,445
HAGGARD: Freeze, motherfucker!

1603
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:28,197
(GRUNTS) So weak.

1604
01:20:28,282 --> 01:20:29,866
Give me the alien!

1605
01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:32,451
Give me the fucking alien!

1606
01:20:32,786 --> 01:20:34,412
-No!
-Ow! Fuck. Watch it.

1607
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:35,997
Give me the alien!

1608
01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:38,166
Get your own alien.

1609
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:42,211
(SCREAMING)

1610
01:20:43,589 --> 01:20:44,589
(GROANS)

1611
01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:48,634
Thank you, Clive! Is Tara with us?

1612
01:20:48,719 --> 01:20:51,679
Tara! Come this way! Follow us!

1613
01:20:51,763 --> 01:20:53,681
Oh, man-balls! It's my dad!

1614
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,600
Are you okay? Am I heavy?

1615
01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:57,393
I told you, it's not fat, it's power!

1616
01:20:59,771 --> 01:21:01,063
Oh, great.

1617
01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:03,608
(GASPS)

1618
01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,362
I told you we should've parked closer!

1619
01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:10,072
(GUN FlRING)

1620
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:12,909
Holster that. They're mine!

1621
01:21:13,243 --> 01:21:15,620
-Consider that a warning!
-You crazy bastard!

1622
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:19,123
O'REILLY: I got you, you little space freak!

1623
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,125
Ruth! Get back here!

1624
01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:22,251
Just go home!

1625
01:21:26,673 --> 01:21:28,966
-Oh, I got you, sucker. Coming.
-(GAS HISSING)

1626
01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:30,468
Ready or not.

1627
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,142
(SCREAMING)

1628
01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,478
PAUL: Holy fuck.

1629
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:48,110
(COUGHING)

1630
01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:50,404
-Papa!
-Ruth, wait!

1631
01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:54,325
Papa! Papa!

1632
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,077
-(GROANS)
-Oh!

1633
01:21:56,495 --> 01:21:58,204
It's okay, he's alive. He's okay!

1634
01:21:58,288 --> 01:21:59,455
(GROANING)

1635
01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,540
-Go, Clive, go!
-Wait for me!

1636
01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:02,833
You okay?

1637
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,585
-Thank you. I'm okay.
-Wait there.

1638
01:22:05,128 --> 01:22:06,295
(COUGHING)

1639
01:22:08,382 --> 01:22:09,507
(YELLS)

1640
01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:14,053
Graeme!

1641
01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:19,642
Ruth! Drive!

1642
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:24,021
CLIVE: Come on, Graeme!

1643
01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:27,149
Don't leave me!

1644
01:22:32,990 --> 01:22:34,031
Never.

1645
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:38,077
Graeme, you scared the shit out of me.

1646
01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:40,037
Ruth, why aren't you driving?

1647
01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:41,998
I told you. It's easy!

1648
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:43,416
(ALL SCREAMING)

1649
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:52,258
Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Road! Okay.

1650
01:22:53,176 --> 01:22:55,720
Small corrections! Small corrections!

1651
01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:00,558
Oh, my weed!

1652
01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:02,351
(SOBBING) Oh!

1653
01:23:13,030 --> 01:23:14,196
(GUN FlRING)

1654
01:23:20,037 --> 01:23:24,248
Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch!

1655
01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,377
(TlRES SCREECHING)

1656
01:23:32,674 --> 01:23:34,425
WOMAN ON RADIO:
Zoil, progress report.

1657
01:23:36,053 --> 01:23:39,889
This is Haggard, sir.
Agent Zoil is no longer in command.

1658
01:23:39,973 --> 01:23:42,516
I don't give a shit who's in command.
Where the fuck are they?

1659
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:45,394
Just ahead of me,
heading east towards Lytle Creek.

1660
01:23:45,479 --> 01:23:48,856
I don't wanna hear from anybody
until that cocksucker is dead! Get me?

1661
01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,191
Yes, sir.

1662
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:51,275
Ma'am.

1663
01:23:57,783 --> 01:23:58,783
God damn it!

1664
01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:06,207
This is official government business!

1665
01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:09,460
Stand down,
or I am authorized to use deadly force.

1666
01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:12,046
That thing has my daughter!

1667
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,756
This isn't your mission!

1668
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:16,550
I'm on a mission from God!

1669
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:17,968
Tell him you failed.

1670
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:19,512
Oh!

1671
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,819
Shit! We got company.

1672
01:24:42,494 --> 01:24:43,953
He's trying to overtake us!

1673
01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,913
-Don't let him get past!
-Should I ram him?

1674
01:24:45,997 --> 01:24:48,707
-What about the deposit?
-Fuck the deposit.

1675
01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:49,875
PAUL: You're crazy!

1676
01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:51,710
(SCREAMS)

1677
01:24:57,008 --> 01:24:58,092
Fuck.

1678
01:24:59,511 --> 01:25:00,761
(GRUNTS)

1679
01:25:06,935 --> 01:25:08,602
Oh, fuck! Come on!

1680
01:25:08,687 --> 01:25:09,937
Smile, you son of a bitch!

1681
01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,273
Eyes forward, butthorn.

1682
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,024
(SCREAMING)

1683
01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:24,326
Do you think he'll be okay?

1684
01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:25,786
Yeah, he'll be fine.

1685
01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:30,207
(GASPS) Mmm.

1686
01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,380
-WOMAN ON RADIO: Haggard.
-Zoil.

1687
01:25:36,506 --> 01:25:38,048
Where are the other two?

1688
01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,676
One crashed and burned,
the other just burned.

1689
01:25:40,760 --> 01:25:43,179
Jesus Christ!
This has been one fuck-up after another.

1690
01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:45,139
I should have handled this myself.

1691
01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:47,600
I am very close. You give me one hour.

1692
01:25:47,684 --> 01:25:50,728
An hour? I'll be eating canapés
with the governor in an hour.

1693
01:25:50,812 --> 01:25:52,313
I need this wrapped up now!

1694
01:25:52,397 --> 01:25:55,357
No, no. They're mine, damn it.
I'm gonna finish this, once and for all.

1695
01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:58,235
Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big guns.

1696
01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,364
Boring conversation anyway.

1697
01:26:02,449 --> 01:26:04,074
-(RADIATOR HISSING)
-(GROANS)

1698
01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:10,498
Fare thee well, my friend.
You were a faithful and mighty steed.

1699
01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:11,957
I can't believe she's gone.

1700
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,209
Ain't that a bag of tits.

1701
01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,504
Oh, what'll we do now, Paul?

1702
01:26:16,588 --> 01:26:18,130
Paul?

1703
01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:20,925
-(BREATHING HEAVILY)
-GRAEME: Paul, where are you going?

1704
01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:33,604
PAUL: See? What did I tell you, fellas?

1705
01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:35,981
-You'd know it when you saw it.
-(GRAEME CHUCKLES IN DISBELIEF)

1706
01:26:37,609 --> 01:26:38,859
Oh.

1707
01:26:38,985 --> 01:26:40,402
BOTH: Of course.

1708
01:26:50,830 --> 01:26:54,625
-Ah! Right. Shoots flaming balls. Whoo!
-Whoo!

1709
01:26:55,293 --> 01:26:58,003
-Can you just light the fucking thing?
-Fireworks are not toys, Paul.

1710
01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:01,632
-What is the suggested safe distance?
-Right.

1711
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:05,052
-500 feet.
-That's going to put us behind the tree line.

1712
01:27:05,136 --> 01:27:07,471
-We're not gonna enjoy the full effect.
-That's true, actually.

1713
01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:08,556
Hey, what the...

1714
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,266
PAUL: (LAUGHING)
Oh! Now you're running, huh?

1715
01:27:10,350 --> 01:27:12,643
That's not funny. That's dangerous.

1716
01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:14,228
(ALL GASPING)

1717
01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:40,087
(FIRECRACKERS WHISTLING)

1718
01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:46,176
What now?

1719
01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:49,346
We wait.

1720
01:27:57,564 --> 01:27:59,106
Yes.

1721
01:27:59,190 --> 01:28:00,566
-That's amazing.
-RUTH: Thank you.

1722
01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:01,775
-PAUL: Not bad.
-(RUTH CHUCKLING)

1723
01:28:01,860 --> 01:28:03,819
That's three times you've done that now.

1724
01:28:03,903 --> 01:28:05,904
I never met anyone...

1725
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:07,364
(HlGH-PlTCHED BEEPING)

1726
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,202
(GASPS)

1727
01:28:35,477 --> 01:28:36,644
Oh, no, you don't.

1728
01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:38,395
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1729
01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:42,191
Wait a minute.

1730
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:55,954
WOMAN ON SPEAKER:
Stay where you are, you little green bastard!

1731
01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:18,435
It's the Big Guy.

1732
01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:23,273
Well, what do you know?

1733
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,651
Small world.

1734
01:29:26,611 --> 01:29:29,279
-Paul!
-Zoil?

1735
01:29:36,996 --> 01:29:38,122
(SCREAMING)

1736
01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:40,958
(GUNS FlRING)

1737
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:47,631
Huh?

1738
01:29:53,263 --> 01:29:55,305
(GROANS)

1739
01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:59,143
Don't fucking move!

1740
01:30:00,437 --> 01:30:03,147
Okay, everyone be cool.
Everyone just be cool.

1741
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,607
I gotta say, I'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil.

1742
01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,776
He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend.

1743
01:30:07,861 --> 01:30:11,905
You stupid son of a bitch.
You could've been where I am in 15 years.

1744
01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:15,033
-I don't want to be where you are.
-Too bad,

1745
01:30:15,118 --> 01:30:18,454
seeing as how
I'm the one holding all the cards.

1746
01:30:18,538 --> 01:30:21,165
And when I say "cards," I of course mean

1747
01:30:21,249 --> 01:30:22,833
big fucking gun.

1748
01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,293
Very big gun.

1749
01:30:25,503 --> 01:30:28,005
-Let's go, Mork.
-Don't call me Mork.

1750
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,715
-No.
-Guys, you don't have to do this.

1751
01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:31,175
No, he's going nowhere.

1752
01:30:31,259 --> 01:30:32,342
(LAUGHS)

1753
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:34,261
Can it, nerds.

1754
01:30:34,345 --> 01:30:37,264
Shit, I'd shoot you now
if I didn't get off on the idea

1755
01:30:37,348 --> 01:30:40,893
of your being hog-tied and pissed on
in Guantanamo Bay.

1756
01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,728
They've shut Guantanamo Bay.

1757
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,062
Did they?

1758
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:46,440
Be honest with yourselves.

1759
01:30:46,524 --> 01:30:50,569
What do you think you can possibly bring
to the table at this point in the game?

1760
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:54,573
Blind fury.

1761
01:30:55,533 --> 01:30:56,867
-(GRUNTS)
-(PAUL GASPS)

1762
01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:58,035
Oh.

1763
01:30:58,328 --> 01:30:59,995
False economy. I told you.

1764
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:02,539
Step aside, fag.

1765
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:05,042
(SPEAKING KLINGON)

1766
01:31:08,546 --> 01:31:11,089
PAUL: Oh! Dude!

1767
01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:12,257
Insane!

1768
01:31:16,221 --> 01:31:17,221
(GROANS)

1769
01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,475
(SCREAMING)

1770
01:31:22,101 --> 01:31:23,268
(GROANS) Oh!

1771
01:31:24,312 --> 01:31:26,647
Ow!

1772
01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:29,066
(SCREAMING)

1773
01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:33,153
(GROANS)

1774
01:31:33,238 --> 01:31:36,031
-GRAEME: Ruth!
-Get away from her, you bitch!

1775
01:31:37,283 --> 01:31:38,450
Ow!

1776
01:31:40,119 --> 01:31:41,954
(GROANING)

1777
01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:44,248
Zoil, you okay, man?

1778
01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:48,293
-So much for the plan, huh?
-I know, right?

1779
01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:50,212
Sorry I zapped you at the farmhouse.

1780
01:31:50,296 --> 01:31:52,589
That's okay. I'm sorry I wasn't there
to meet you outside the base.

1781
01:31:52,674 --> 01:31:54,299
By the time I got there, you'd already gone.

1782
01:31:54,926 --> 01:31:56,760
But I see you got yourself a plan B, huh?

1783
01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:59,221
Did I ever. These are my friends.

1784
01:31:59,305 --> 01:32:01,056
-CLIVE: Hello.
-Pleasure to meet you boys.

1785
01:32:01,140 --> 01:32:03,475
-You did a hell of a job.
-Thank you, Agent Zoil.

1786
01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,561
Please call me Lorenzo.

1787
01:32:05,979 --> 01:32:06,979
-Lorenzo Zoil?
-Lorenzo Zoil?

1788
01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,898
That's right.

1789
01:32:11,734 --> 01:32:12,943
MOSES: Ruth!

1790
01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:14,903
Papa?

1791
01:32:18,741 --> 01:32:20,117
-Paul!
-Ruth!

1792
01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,954
(GASPS)

1793
01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,331
That was close.

1794
01:32:32,630 --> 01:32:33,839
Oh, my!

1795
01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:36,967
No!

1796
01:32:37,051 --> 01:32:38,677
-Oh, God, Graeme.
-(GRAEME GROANING)

1797
01:32:38,761 --> 01:32:40,679
Graeme!

1798
01:32:40,763 --> 01:32:43,140
-I never meant to...
-Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs.

1799
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:44,766
Drop the fucking gun, Dad!

1800
01:32:45,101 --> 01:32:47,060
GRAEME: (SOBBING) Oh, no!

1801
01:32:47,145 --> 01:32:49,271
I really liked this T-shirt.

1802
01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:52,691
CLIVE: This is all my fault.
We should never have come on holiday.

1803
01:32:52,775 --> 01:32:56,028
No, no. It's fine. It's fine, Clive.

1804
01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,613
We've had a good time, haven't we?

1805
01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,781
Yeah. But you got shot.

1806
01:33:00,950 --> 01:33:05,787
Yeah, I know. But I can honestly say, Clive,
this is the most fun I have ever had.

1807
01:33:12,503 --> 01:33:14,129
Graeme?

1808
01:33:14,339 --> 01:33:15,631
(SOBBING)

1809
01:33:19,344 --> 01:33:20,427
CLIVE: Graeme?

1810
01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:22,679
Graeme?

1811
01:33:27,727 --> 01:33:29,227
I've gotta try, right?

1812
01:33:32,148 --> 01:33:34,566
-Yeah?
-No, no.

1813
01:33:38,863 --> 01:33:41,657
ZOlL: Paul, think about this.

1814
01:33:48,164 --> 01:34:03,428
(GRUNTING)

1815
01:34:11,104 --> 01:34:12,270
(GROANING)

1816
01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:30,580
(GASPS)

1817
01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,040
Paul!

1818
01:34:37,547 --> 01:34:38,839
Paul?

1819
01:34:52,061 --> 01:34:53,395
-(COUGHING)
-(SIGHS IN RELlEF)

1820
01:34:57,150 --> 01:34:59,901
Oh, that sucked. I don't even get to eat him.

1821
01:35:00,486 --> 01:35:01,653
(LAUGHS)

1822
01:35:05,992 --> 01:35:07,909
Wasn't that really, really dangerous?

1823
01:35:08,661 --> 01:35:12,289
Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.

1824
01:35:12,665 --> 01:35:14,750
MOSES: It's a miracle!

1825
01:35:14,834 --> 01:35:16,001
(LAUGHING)

1826
01:35:16,878 --> 01:35:20,839
The Lord has delivered his healing hand!

1827
01:35:20,923 --> 01:35:23,300
You can't win with these people.

1828
01:35:27,513 --> 01:35:31,725
-Sorry you got killed by my dad.
-That's fine.

1829
01:35:31,809 --> 01:35:35,020
-Do you want to try that kiss again?
-Fuck, yeah.

1830
01:35:40,151 --> 01:35:42,778
Well, what do you know?
The geek shall inherit the Earth.

1831
01:35:45,031 --> 01:35:46,031
Huh?

1832
01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:50,202
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)

1833
01:35:54,457 --> 01:35:55,874
-(COCKING GUN)
-Well, ain't this...

1834
01:35:56,375 --> 01:35:57,834
PAUL: Oh!

1835
01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:03,048
I changed my mind. That is Jenga.

1836
01:36:08,888 --> 01:36:10,430
(SPEAKING ALlEN LANGUAGE)

1837
01:36:11,224 --> 01:36:12,891
It feels better.

1838
01:36:22,944 --> 01:36:24,110
Okay?

1839
01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:28,490
RUTH: Oh, that's good.

1840
01:36:28,574 --> 01:36:30,992
-This is a nice one of you.
-Thank you.

1841
01:36:31,077 --> 01:36:32,410
Look, Mr. Buggs.

1842
01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:33,787
It's been a hell of a ride, huh?

1843
01:36:33,871 --> 01:36:34,913
(LAUGHS)

1844
01:36:34,997 --> 01:36:36,248
Sorry I frightened the shit out of you.

1845
01:36:37,124 --> 01:36:40,252
You didn't frighten me. You freed me.

1846
01:36:40,711 --> 01:36:42,295
I'm glad.

1847
01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:44,422
Mmm. That's nice.

1848
01:36:44,924 --> 01:36:46,466
Thanks.

1849
01:36:51,472 --> 01:36:53,181
Hey, take care of her, big man.

1850
01:36:53,266 --> 01:36:56,101
Oh, I will, sir. And God be with you.

1851
01:36:56,185 --> 01:36:58,144
Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure.

1852
01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:04,442
Say bye to Karen for me.

1853
01:37:05,987 --> 01:37:07,612
Safe trip, Short Round.

1854
01:37:08,239 --> 01:37:09,489
Thanks.

1855
01:37:19,375 --> 01:37:22,377
-Oh, you're coming with me.
-What?

1856
01:37:22,461 --> 01:37:24,379
I ruined your life, Tara.

1857
01:37:24,463 --> 01:37:26,715
I think it's only right I give you a new one.

1858
01:37:27,633 --> 01:37:28,717
Oh.

1859
01:37:29,677 --> 01:37:31,511
I don't have my toothbrush.

1860
01:37:31,971 --> 01:37:36,308
Baby, where we're going,
you don't need teeth.

1861
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:41,605
(LAUGHS)

1862
01:37:41,814 --> 01:37:44,983
That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl.

1863
01:37:45,651 --> 01:37:48,194
Yeah, she's cool. She's with me.
Let her in. Yeah. No.

1864
01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:49,654
(SPEAKING ALlEN LANGUAGE)

1865
01:37:53,367 --> 01:37:54,492
Gentlemen.

1866
01:37:54,577 --> 01:37:55,869
(EXHALES)

1867
01:37:56,996 --> 01:37:59,122
I meant to ask,
what did you think of the book?

1868
01:38:00,499 --> 01:38:02,667
I liked it, actually. I really liked it.

1869
01:38:02,752 --> 01:38:05,420
There's lot of good ideas in it.

1870
01:38:05,504 --> 01:38:08,632
I kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest.

1871
01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:11,426
Yeah. Yeah, me, too. (LAUGHS)

1872
01:38:11,510 --> 01:38:13,428
You know, as I always say,

1873
01:38:13,512 --> 01:38:16,765
"You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."

1874
01:38:18,059 --> 01:38:19,643
That's what Adam Shadowchild said.

1875
01:38:19,727 --> 01:38:22,187
That asshole! He stole that from me.

1876
01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:23,605
Huh.

1877
01:38:23,689 --> 01:38:26,858
-He was a bit of an asshole, actually.
-Yeah, he was.

1878
01:38:28,527 --> 01:38:31,988
-Keep it for the journey home, if you like.
-Oh, yeah. Definitely.

1879
01:38:34,325 --> 01:38:35,825
(SPEAKING ALlEN LANGUAGE)

1880
01:38:38,371 --> 01:38:40,956
It's safe to say
we've all learned something from this.

1881
01:38:41,040 --> 01:38:44,125
Be yourselves. Speak from your heart.
Some shit like that, I don't know.

1882
01:38:44,627 --> 01:38:48,338
Yeah, you know,
I certainly feel a bit different.

1883
01:38:48,422 --> 01:38:50,507
And me.

1884
01:38:51,092 --> 01:38:52,842
Thank you, guys.

1885
01:38:53,260 --> 01:38:56,513
-No, thank you.
-Yeah, thanks, Paul.

1886
01:38:57,682 --> 01:38:59,641
Hugs?

1887
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:00,934
Come on.

1888
01:39:04,146 --> 01:39:05,271
(SIGHING)

1889
01:39:05,982 --> 01:39:07,440
PAUL: Clive, I can feel your boner.

1890
01:39:13,948 --> 01:39:15,615
Till next time.

1891
01:39:22,039 --> 01:39:25,375
-So cool, isn't it?
-It's amazing!

1892
01:39:27,920 --> 01:39:29,295
PAUL: Goodbye!

1893
01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:54,654
See you! Goodbye!

1894
01:40:00,494 --> 01:40:01,953
(SPACESHIP WHIRRING)

1895
01:40:02,038 --> 01:40:05,582
This ship takes off very slowly.
It's a little awkward.

1896
01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:06,791
Goodbye!

1897
01:40:08,294 --> 01:40:10,295
Can you guys take off any faster? Come on!

1898
01:40:58,302 --> 01:40:59,552
(EXHALES)

1899
01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:01,554
Ah!

1900
01:41:02,723 --> 01:41:04,557
That was good, wasn't it?

1901
01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,728
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYING)

1902
01:41:18,697 --> 01:41:19,823
MAN: Hey.

1903
01:41:24,829 --> 01:41:28,623
-WOMEN: Leias!
-Thank you. Cheers.

1904
01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:32,168
(SPEAKING ALlEN LANGUAGE)

1905
01:41:32,419 --> 01:41:33,503
Sorry. Who are you?

1906
01:41:34,880 --> 01:41:36,172
Someone who loves you.

1907
01:41:36,507 --> 01:41:39,717
Hey! I thought you were coming
as Wonder Woman today.

1908
01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:46,891
All right, would you please welcome

1909
01:41:46,976 --> 01:41:52,021
the team behind this year's
multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller.

1910
01:41:58,737 --> 01:42:00,780
By the way, these are friends of mine.

1911
01:42:01,490 --> 01:42:04,409
-I'm very proud of you, Graeme.
-I'm very proud of you, Sausage.

1912
01:42:04,952 --> 01:42:06,536
Come on.

1913
01:42:16,797 --> 01:42:19,674
Pat Stevens?
Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1?

1914
01:42:19,758 --> 01:42:20,884
The very same.

1915
01:42:20,968 --> 01:42:22,719
You know, I always pictured you taller.

1916
01:42:22,803 --> 01:42:25,513
-You should see me standing up.
-Oh, I'd like that.

1917
01:42:35,399 --> 01:42:37,567
I didn't realize you were so damn pretty.

1918
01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:39,194
You should see me
out of these crazy clothes.

1919
01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:41,321
I'd like that.

1920
01:42:42,072 --> 01:42:43,281
Mmm.

1921
01:42:45,117 --> 01:42:46,201
I can't.

1922
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:54,459
I understand, apparently,
they are citing me as the...

1923
01:42:55,502 --> 01:42:56,794
Well, fuck. You know...

1924
01:43:01,342 --> 01:43:04,886
Please welcome to the stage,
Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy.

1925
01:43:04,970 --> 01:43:06,095
-Give it up.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1926
01:43:08,641 --> 01:43:11,142
BOTH: Three, two, one.

1927
01:43:11,644 --> 01:43:13,186
Congratulations.

1928
01:43:13,270 --> 01:43:14,729
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

1929
01:43:17,650 --> 01:43:18,983
(EXCLAIMS)

1930
01:43:27,117 --> 01:43:28,701
O'REILLY: Graeme! Clive!

1931
01:43:29,286 --> 01:43:31,871
Whoo! I know those guys!

1932
01:43:43,717 --> 01:43:44,717
(INAUDIBLE)

1933
01:43:45,135 --> 01:43:46,177
(SIGHS)

1934
01:43:49,306 --> 01:43:51,015
-You!
-Hi.