0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,844 The legend of Sherlock Holmes 2 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:35,597 begins on his first day of school. 3 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:39,851 To us, he is the greatest detective of all time, 4 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:43,104 but back then, he was just... 5 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:46,357 Well, the new kid. 6 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:49,694 But, Mother, I don't need school. I've got books. 7 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:53,406 Sherlock. You need to be with other kids. 8 00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:56,743 Have friends, play games, kiss a girl. 9 00:01:57,494 --> 00:02:01,706 Open your heart, Sherlock, and the world will open itself to you. 10 00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:04,000 All right, Mother. 11 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,668 Everything will be fine. 12 00:02:06,878 --> 00:02:10,965 But things were not going to be fine. Not fine at all. 13 00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:13,468 Mother, as usual, was mistaken. 14 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:14,636 We can do this. 15 00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:17,889 Look, the new kid. 16 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,391 - He looks poor! - Hello. 17 00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:22,769 My name is Sherlock Holmes, and I'm looking forward 18 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,038 to being friends with each and every one... 19 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,480 - Get him! - What? 20 00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,650 School was not easy for Sherlock. 21 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,485 He was picked on constantly. 22 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,087 - They were relentless. - He's weird! 23 00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:35,031 What kind of stupid dog is this? 24 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,491 No! 25 00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:44,082 As time passed, young Sherlock remained alone, 26 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,000 keeping mostly to himself. 27 00:02:46,084 --> 00:02:51,339 His spirits had dampened, but his heart was still alive. 28 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:55,718 A beautiful girl has captured my heart. 29 00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:58,054 Her name is Bridgette. 30 00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:02,016 I am overcome with such true feelings and emotions. 31 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,060 - She is the moon... - Hey, Sherlock. 32 00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:07,897 Look, Sherlock, we feel bad. We've been awfully naughty with you. 33 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:10,692 Would you like to kiss Bridgette over there? 34 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:12,151 She wants to kiss you. 35 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:16,364 - How about it, Sherlock? - She wants to kiss me? 36 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,157 She told me this morning. 37 00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,201 I should like that an awful lot. 38 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,495 Put this on, then. 39 00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:24,080 A blindfold? 40 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,999 This is how everyone kisses. 41 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:29,377 Uh, is it? Are you sure she wants to kiss me? 42 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,427 'Course she does. 43 00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:33,464 She's really shy. 44 00:03:36,009 --> 00:03:39,262 Oh, Sherlock, how I've dreamed of this moment. 45 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,723 Now lean in for your kiss. 46 00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:58,114 He kissed a donkey's ass! 47 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,449 Look at his face! 48 00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,952 - Oh, he's gonna cry, isn't he? - He likes you! 49 00:04:03,036 --> 00:04:04,829 Here comes the waterworks! 50 00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:07,457 Cry! Cry! Cry! 51 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,209 Cry! Cry! Cry! 52 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,295 His heart had betrayed him. 53 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,340 And so, from that day forward, 54 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:18,092 he vowed he would lock away all feelings. 55 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,347 He would become a thinking machine, 56 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,933 an unfeeling automaton. 57 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,603 What's he doing? 58 00:04:29,187 --> 00:04:31,439 He's un-crying? 59 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,277 Without the confusion of feelings, 60 00:04:36,361 --> 00:04:38,738 without emotions to distract him, 61 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:42,241 he could devote his entire brain... 62 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:45,536 to solving crimes, his greatest passion. 63 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:50,041 The ink on your right hand, that's the headmaster's brand of ink, 64 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,169 which means you went into his desk for the answers on his test. 65 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,587 Expelled! 66 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:58,675 And, Thulby, the dirt on your boots is freshly dried clay, 67 00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:02,011 - which means you snuck off the grounds. - Oh, shite. 68 00:05:02,095 --> 00:05:03,221 Expelled! 69 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,514 And I smell alcohol 70 00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:05,866 on your breath, Jane. 71 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,101 And, Seamus, you've got a bruise on your neck 72 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,645 that fits the radius of a girl's mouth. 73 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:11,789 But I'm in love. 74 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,749 And those are tobacco stains on your fingers, Nancy. 75 00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:14,833 Expelled! 76 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,442 And I shall have you all expelled! 77 00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:18,528 Expelled, expelled, expelled! 78 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,911 - The big kids can be jerks here. - Hmm. 79 00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:31,332 Judging by your smell of vinegar and sawdust, 80 00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:32,917 you are the janitor's son. 81 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,877 But someday, you're going to be a doctor. 82 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:35,962 Really? 83 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:39,090 It's elementary, my dear... What's your name? 84 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,718 - John Watson. - Sherlock Holmes. 85 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:44,554 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go learn. 86 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,808 The circumference of a cone is a direct ratio of the circular... 87 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:52,979 And so every professor at the school dedicated themselves solely 88 00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:56,107 to teaching the young Sherlock Holmes. 89 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,609 Martin Luther's Reformation was actually the first... 90 00:05:58,693 --> 00:06:00,111 His mind was transformed 91 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:05,074 from an unrefined hunk of gold to a razor-sharp diamond. 92 00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:07,702 Square root of pi. 93 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,537 1492. 94 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:10,747 From the novel... 95 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:13,958 Magnesium sulfate. Plato. 96 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:18,713 - The fulcrum is insufficient. - Good answer. 97 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:21,591 - Questions? - Next lesson. 98 00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,178 All aboard! 99 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:29,223 Hip-hop's dead, that's what they said on the news 100 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:31,517 Nah, it's still alive, but it's getting confused 101 00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:34,145 So there's no time to waste, not a second to lose 102 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,731 'Cause the clocks don't stop when you set 'em to snooze 103 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,483 And it just don't stop 104 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,069 - 'Cause the time rolls - On and on and on 105 00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:43,696 - To the next stop - And it just won't stop 106 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:46,074 - Because life goes - On and on and on 107 00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:47,917 - To the next stop - What, that's how it goes 108 00:06:47,992 --> 00:06:50,453 When you hop on the line, you'll find anything you like 109 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,914 But you can't buy time and there ain't no pause 110 00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:54,040 No press rewind 111 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,000 So you don't want to get left behind 112 00:06:57,335 --> 00:06:59,921 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 113 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:02,173 Moriarty's crime spree over! 114 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,927 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 115 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,513 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 116 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,765 Greatest criminal in the empire! 117 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:11,849 That's fake news. 118 00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:15,603 Stop this trial at once! 119 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:21,192 I, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 120 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,861 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 121 00:07:23,945 --> 00:07:26,739 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 122 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:32,078 Watson, did you notice my emphasis on "Professor James Moriarty"? 123 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:33,538 Yes, with the finger, yes. 124 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,164 - Much better than the hand. - Yes. 125 00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:38,251 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 126 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,669 Yes, it's the best one yet. 127 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:42,797 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 128 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,967 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 129 00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:47,885 - Oh, yes. - You must get dressed. 130 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:48,970 - Yes? - Very well. 131 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,805 There we are. There are your things. 132 00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:52,849 - Remember, trial of the century. - Yes. 133 00:07:52,932 --> 00:07:56,894 We have but... Oh, let's see now. Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 134 00:07:56,978 --> 00:08:00,064 Professor James Moriarty. 135 00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,817 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 136 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,154 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 137 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:11,367 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 138 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,912 but all the witnesses have died. 139 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:19,792 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 140 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,256 Inspector Lestrade, 141 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,426 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 142 00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:33,222 Mark my words, 143 00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:35,766 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 144 00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:38,853 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 145 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,773 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 146 00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,193 I shall have to release this menace. 147 00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:46,527 Sherlock will be here. 148 00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:50,198 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 149 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,331 - Nearly there? - Nearly there. 150 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:02,251 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. Ah! 151 00:09:02,335 --> 00:09:05,504 Come now, Sherlock. We mustn't let that trial conclude. 152 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:09,008 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 153 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,720 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 154 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,806 they will picture this. 155 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,811 Brilliant. Can we go? 156 00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:23,272 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 157 00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:24,565 Oh, no. 158 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:25,900 Not to worry. 159 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,151 Ta-da! 160 00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:29,278 Hey, there, cowboy. 161 00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:31,202 - That's the one. That's the one. - Bang, bang. 162 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,782 We should leave, yes? 163 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,575 - Oh! - Aye, aye. 164 00:09:34,659 --> 00:09:36,327 I say, I like that one very much. 165 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,704 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 166 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,999 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 167 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:46,170 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 168 00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:49,882 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 169 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:51,550 Good point. 170 00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:53,719 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 171 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,327 - Perfect, right? - May I show you a few more hats? 172 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,477 - No! - Someone's left a wee box. 173 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,687 What are you going on about? 174 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:07,024 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 175 00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:08,401 How very queer. 176 00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:14,031 - Queerer and queerer. - Hmm. 177 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,533 Very odd. 178 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,744 Watson, no. 179 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,469 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 180 00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,707 It's merely an empty box. 181 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:27,253 Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. He means to kill us. 182 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,379 Listen. 183 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:31,757 Shut that window. 184 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,593 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 185 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:35,970 A killer mosquito? 186 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,097 The insect is infected with African plague. 187 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,099 One bite means death. 188 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,810 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 189 00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:50,276 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 190 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,070 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 191 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:54,155 Brilliant. 192 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:56,866 Hold! Don't move. 193 00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,534 - Where is it? - Right there. 194 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,099 There. Right there on your forehead. 195 00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:02,288 - Kill it, Holmes. - I'm going to kill it. 196 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,249 - There it is. - Where? 197 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,293 - Hold, hold. No, no. - Where? 198 00:11:09,045 --> 00:11:11,464 - No, hold, hold. - Is it biting? 199 00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:14,592 I hear it. 200 00:11:18,137 --> 00:11:19,138 I see it. 201 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:22,475 The tip! 202 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,560 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 203 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,406 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 204 00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:40,034 the charges shall be dismissed. 205 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,995 I shall raise my gavel in the air 206 00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:46,457 and then bring it down briskly, 207 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,627 making a satisfying bang, 208 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:54,006 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 209 00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:06,185 Angle of approach. 210 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,229 Compensate for warp in floor. 211 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:10,898 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 212 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:12,358 Probable outcome, 213 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,281 termination of mosquito. 214 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,946 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 215 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:19,490 Deadly bee swarm averted. 216 00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:25,788 The mosquito's vanquished. 217 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,415 Well done, Holmes. 218 00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:31,252 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 219 00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:38,509 - Oh, my God! - Oh, shit. 220 00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:43,180 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 221 00:12:43,264 --> 00:12:45,015 It's making them angry, Holmes! 222 00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,809 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 223 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,394 They're turning this way! 224 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,105 Just do anything! Help me! 225 00:12:53,107 --> 00:12:54,233 It's working! 226 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,901 It's not working! 227 00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,987 - Get it off! - It's not working! 228 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,240 Holmes, we retreat. 229 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,784 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 230 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,683 Stop this trial! 231 00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:40,446 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 232 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:44,283 solver of the unsolvable, untier of Gordian knots, 233 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:49,497 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 234 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:53,876 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 235 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,754 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 236 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,256 Stop this trial at once! 237 00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:07,139 Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 238 00:14:07,223 --> 00:14:10,643 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 239 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,019 I am the evidence. 240 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:18,192 I recall the day vividly. I arrived at the crime scene alone. 241 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,237 Completely and utterly alone. 242 00:14:23,072 --> 00:14:26,617 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 243 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:31,789 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 244 00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:42,174 And as I stood there, I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 245 00:14:42,258 --> 00:14:43,884 Right there. 246 00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:46,637 Behold! Fingerprints. 247 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,683 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 248 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,560 I love it. 249 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:55,187 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 250 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,025 Watson. 251 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,029 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 252 00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,823 which begs the question, 253 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,616 why was this crime scene 254 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:11,453 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 255 00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:12,830 Good work, Watson. 256 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,558 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 257 00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:19,670 I compared these prints to those of the man standing before you. 258 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,255 A perfect match. 259 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:24,675 Unequivocal proof that this man 260 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,011 - is innocent. - What? 261 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,889 But if those are Moriarty's prints, then Moriarty is the murderer. 262 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,392 This man is not Moriarty. 263 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,287 He sure looks like Moriarty. 264 00:15:35,311 --> 00:15:39,148 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob Musgrave. 265 00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,609 Ä A complete look-alike, a doppelganger. 266 00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:45,738 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes, 267 00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,616 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 268 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:51,410 and he can begin life anew in America. 269 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:55,164 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 270 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:58,417 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 271 00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,629 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 272 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,964 The palsy in his left hand. 273 00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:05,799 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 274 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:09,011 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 275 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,554 What's an onanist? 276 00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:12,348 He... Let's see. 277 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:14,933 He pours his own tea. 278 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:20,731 He likes to create his own sauce. 279 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:24,318 - He is a saucier. - Huh? 280 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,613 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 281 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:31,200 On a daily basis, he creams his own éclair. 282 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:35,412 He is Romeo and Juliet. 283 00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:36,747 That should do it. 284 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,250 - This here. - Oh, he's a wanker. 285 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,418 Thank you. 286 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:43,003 Sorry, ladies. 287 00:16:43,087 --> 00:16:46,757 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 288 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,551 He was literally dying by his own hand. 289 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:51,845 It causes death, you see. 290 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,307 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 291 00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:58,894 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 292 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:03,899 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 293 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:08,070 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 294 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,197 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 295 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,411 Why are you cheering? 296 00:17:16,412 --> 00:17:17,621 Sherlock! 297 00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:21,166 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 298 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:22,727 That couldn't have gone better. 299 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,044 It couldn't have. 300 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,563 And I tell you, that case was rather... 301 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:28,382 It took us three years to catch him. 302 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,051 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 303 00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:33,971 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 304 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,725 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 305 00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:41,562 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on 306 00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:42,980 are on your head. 307 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,234 I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 308 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,902 Yeah. I do, too. 309 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,369 Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 310 00:17:57,453 --> 00:18:03,125 and would never darken England again. 311 00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:10,758 Holmes. 312 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,926 Are you upset? 313 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,471 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 314 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,681 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 315 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:21,226 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 316 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,022 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 317 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,399 with nutritional science. 318 00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:28,901 My research suggests 319 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:31,570 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 320 00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:33,906 can increase your red blood cells. 321 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,616 Vital for human health. 322 00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,754 - Just bite it like an apple, eh? - Mmm-hmm. 323 00:18:42,915 --> 00:18:44,958 Definitely takes four or five bites. 324 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,671 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 325 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:50,964 The whole thing. 326 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:55,093 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 327 00:18:57,596 --> 00:18:59,556 Congratulations, Holmes. 328 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,559 You're not only the smartest man in London, 329 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,686 you shall soon be the healthiest. 330 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:05,896 Indeed. 331 00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,942 Now, where's my opium? 332 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,735 Um... 333 00:19:11,819 --> 00:19:12,820 Mrs. Hudson! 334 00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:14,988 - Hudson! - Hudson! 335 00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:16,073 Help! 336 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,575 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 337 00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:19,910 Hudson, help! 338 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,995 - Fire! Fire! - Call the police! 339 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:23,705 Hudson, your mother has died! 340 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,582 You brain-dead bag of bones! 341 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,585 - Hudson! - Hudson! 342 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:29,711 Hudson! 343 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:31,004 Hudson, where are you? 344 00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,048 Uh... 345 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,925 Did you not hear any of that? 346 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,885 - We screamed "fire." - Where? 347 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:38,595 And we were screaming your name. 348 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,180 You were just there in my bedroom? 349 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:42,933 Oh. 350 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,187 - Shut up. - Come on. 351 00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:51,149 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and swamp. 352 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,697 This came for you. 353 00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:57,906 Hmm. 354 00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:01,660 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 355 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:02,786 Hmm. 356 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,330 Hmm. 357 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,458 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 358 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,003 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 359 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,504 Huh. 360 00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,882 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 361 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:17,843 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 362 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,762 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 363 00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,139 Well, well, well, 364 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:24,266 look who's back in the game. 365 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,503 Watson, are you all right? 366 00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:29,354 I'm just very nervous. 367 00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:31,315 I've not met the Queen before. 368 00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:38,030 - Deep breath. - Your Majesty, 369 00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,157 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 370 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,745 My God, it's really her. 371 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,585 Shh. 372 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,380 Watson. 373 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,424 Say something. 374 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,010 I love you. 375 00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:03,430 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, 376 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,074 but let me just say, on a personal note, 377 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,576 - I really like you. - Stop touching her. 378 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,851 Just as a fan. 379 00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,770 Please, sir. 380 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:10,938 Don't touch the Queen. 381 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,522 Oh! 382 00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:13,926 Quite right. 383 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,609 Sorry, Your Majesty. 384 00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:17,361 You look a lot smaller in person. 385 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,239 - Just stop. Just stop. - Sorry. It's true. 386 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,532 Just stop talking. 387 00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:23,909 - Yes. - Stop talking. 388 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,286 I'm crazy about your look. 389 00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:27,746 What did I say? 390 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,040 - Am I still talking out loud? - You are. You are. 391 00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:32,459 - It's just the Queen. - Yes. 392 00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:35,212 - Okay? - Okay. 393 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:36,380 Your Majesty, 394 00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:39,758 how may we be of service to the realm? 395 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,760 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 396 00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:43,929 There is danger about. 397 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:47,474 What a looker, right? 398 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:50,018 She is stunning in person. 399 00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:53,188 Fear not, Your Majesty, 400 00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:56,149 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 401 00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:59,444 Five, four, three, 402 00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,279 two, one. 403 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,906 Surprise! 404 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,075 Thank you. Thank you. 405 00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:08,120 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 406 00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:11,373 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 407 00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,375 Oh! 72%. 408 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,212 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 409 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:20,507 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 410 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:24,094 Your many years of public service. 411 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:29,182 - So, Holmes. - Yes. 412 00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,267 When did you know? 413 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,435 Tuesday. 414 00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:32,853 Really? 415 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,272 You were seven minutes late coming home. 416 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:39,776 Stopped at the stationer's, confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 417 00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:41,254 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 418 00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,780 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 419 00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,450 Evidence of cake sampling. 420 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,493 Guilty. 421 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:52,039 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 422 00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:55,917 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 423 00:22:56,001 --> 00:22:58,045 It's true. 424 00:22:58,128 --> 00:22:59,838 I don't deserve nice things. 425 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,846 For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow 426 00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:11,558 For he's a jolly good fellow 427 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,269 And so say all of us 428 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,396 Bravo. 429 00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:19,066 Thank you. 430 00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:20,692 That was delightful. 431 00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:22,944 Oh, a layer cake. 432 00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:25,072 It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 433 00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:26,156 Yes! 434 00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:31,953 The second layer is rather thick. 435 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,541 There must be a few nuts in there. Uh, if I may. 436 00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,835 - Would you mind? - Here. Yes, of course. 437 00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:42,065 Do you see what I'm talking about? 438 00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:43,507 - Yes. - Yes. 439 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:45,634 Ah. Raspberry jam. 440 00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:47,636 Mmm. My weakness. 441 00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:48,887 I know what I need. 442 00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,515 What the... He's getting an ax! 443 00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,100 - Brilliant. - Charge! 444 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,561 Oh! 445 00:23:56,645 --> 00:23:59,189 Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 446 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:01,733 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 447 00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:03,318 Look, a note. There. 448 00:24:05,112 --> 00:24:06,446 Right under your nose. 449 00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:14,579 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 450 00:24:14,746 --> 00:24:16,998 "A crime to challenge your wits. 451 00:24:17,082 --> 00:24:18,959 "Stop me in four days' time, 452 00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:21,753 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 453 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:24,256 "and I will rewrite history." 454 00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:26,883 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 455 00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:28,051 Hmm. 456 00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:30,220 This is Jimmy Gruber, 457 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:31,847 the witness who disappeared, 458 00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:34,432 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 459 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,060 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 460 00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:38,520 And your conclusion? 461 00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:45,152 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 462 00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:47,737 Ah. The most obvious conclusion. 463 00:24:49,406 --> 00:24:51,158 No, this is definitely the work 464 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,952 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 465 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:56,830 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 466 00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,874 - Sherlock Holmes. - The Queen. 467 00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:04,045 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 468 00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:05,547 before he can do us harm. 469 00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:09,759 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 470 00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:10,969 - I will. - We will. 471 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,053 But, Your Majesty... 472 00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:14,973 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 473 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,142 The bold ingenuity of this crime 474 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:21,188 calls me back to the profession of detecting like a siren song. 475 00:25:21,271 --> 00:25:22,999 I won't let anyone hurt you. 476 00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:24,983 Watson. To the morgue. 477 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:27,485 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 478 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,988 - The game is a-starting. - Yeah. 479 00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:37,204 Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 480 00:25:37,621 --> 00:25:40,081 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 481 00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:41,917 This birthday cake is delicious. 482 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,335 Did you get a chance to try it? 483 00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:45,003 - No, there was a corpse in it. - Oh. 484 00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,425 Watson? 485 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:51,843 Oh. 486 00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:53,470 Oh, my goodness. 487 00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:54,846 Oh. 488 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:56,473 Finders keepers. 489 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:57,807 Yeah. 490 00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,828 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 491 00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:02,455 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 492 00:26:02,479 --> 00:26:06,566 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 493 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:09,527 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 494 00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:10,987 with the... 495 00:26:11,738 --> 00:26:13,156 And the... 496 00:26:13,907 --> 00:26:16,034 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 497 00:26:16,117 --> 00:26:17,410 Yes, but the time before that? 498 00:26:17,494 --> 00:26:19,746 - Bad clams. - And before that? 499 00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:21,456 I shook hands with a prostitute. 500 00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:22,749 Yes. 501 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:26,378 No, no. Put that away. 502 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:31,508 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 503 00:26:37,973 --> 00:26:39,391 Oh, ye of little... 504 00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:44,303 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 505 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,357 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 506 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,483 I wouldn't... 507 00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,443 - Are you... - No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 508 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:53,238 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 509 00:26:58,368 --> 00:27:00,537 - Surely, I must be done. - Yes. 510 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,789 Next to impossible to still... 511 00:27:10,213 --> 00:27:11,339 There you are. 512 00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:13,550 - All done. - Yes, there. 513 00:27:14,718 --> 00:27:16,696 - Would you like some water? - Did you say water... 514 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,805 Sorry. I'm sorry. 515 00:27:19,597 --> 00:27:21,182 Shall we begin the autopsy? 516 00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:23,977 Oh, thank goodness these cleaning women are here 517 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:25,288 to clean up this dreadful mess. 518 00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:27,022 - Someone's made sick. - Oh. 519 00:27:27,105 --> 00:27:29,524 My dear Watson, these women 520 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:31,407 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 521 00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:35,447 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 522 00:27:35,613 --> 00:27:36,990 Sorry for your loss. 523 00:27:37,157 --> 00:27:39,492 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 524 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:42,996 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 525 00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:44,956 - Mmm. - She thinks she's a doctor. 526 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,251 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 527 00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:49,544 who may help you. 528 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:51,129 Would you like some heroin? 529 00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:53,673 Dr. Watson, I presume. 530 00:27:53,757 --> 00:27:55,967 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 531 00:27:56,051 --> 00:27:58,094 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 532 00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:00,472 A woman doctor? 533 00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:02,974 - What times we live in. - Yes. 534 00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:05,852 In America, we're much more progressive. 535 00:28:05,935 --> 00:28:08,730 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 536 00:28:08,813 --> 00:28:11,441 What does "doctor" mean in America? 537 00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,276 It means "doctor." 538 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,320 You're Dr. G. Hart? 539 00:28:15,403 --> 00:28:17,113 - Of Boston? - Yes. 540 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,824 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 541 00:28:19,908 --> 00:28:22,619 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 542 00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:24,996 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 543 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,000 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 544 00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:30,251 Well, of course. 545 00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:32,337 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 546 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:35,006 "Doctor"? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 547 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,633 Yes. 548 00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:38,927 This is my aide, Millicent. 549 00:28:39,511 --> 00:28:42,639 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 550 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,017 Shall we proceed to the examination? 551 00:28:46,684 --> 00:28:48,686 - Please. - Our cadaver awaits. 552 00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,148 No, no, no. 553 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:53,566 Here. 554 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:56,111 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 555 00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:59,489 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 556 00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:03,910 Sherlock Holmes. 557 00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:05,553 Charmed to meet... 558 00:29:07,622 --> 00:29:08,706 To meet you. 559 00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:11,584 Millicent is the subject of my research. 560 00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,753 She was raised by feral cats. 561 00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:16,005 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 562 00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:19,175 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 563 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:22,095 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 564 00:29:22,178 --> 00:29:24,180 We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 565 00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,866 There's nothing left to learn. 566 00:29:25,890 --> 00:29:26,891 No. 567 00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:30,437 What a creature you are. 568 00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:44,409 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 569 00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:48,997 It's strangely arousing. 570 00:29:50,582 --> 00:29:52,333 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 571 00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:55,336 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 572 00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:58,882 but haven't you ever considered something more? 573 00:30:00,049 --> 00:30:02,510 Perhaps a co-detective? 574 00:30:04,721 --> 00:30:06,389 He and I? 575 00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:07,599 Co-detectives? 576 00:30:07,682 --> 00:30:08,683 Yes. 577 00:30:08,766 --> 00:30:10,602 Oh, the very idea! 578 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,396 - Uh... - Solving crimes together? 579 00:30:14,606 --> 00:30:16,858 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 580 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:19,611 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause! 581 00:30:19,694 --> 00:30:21,237 Madness. No, dear. 582 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:23,781 No. No, not I. 583 00:30:25,074 --> 00:30:26,409 Not here. 584 00:30:27,285 --> 00:30:31,498 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 585 00:30:37,378 --> 00:30:40,924 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 586 00:30:44,802 --> 00:30:46,763 The wonders of modern medicine. 587 00:30:50,808 --> 00:30:53,144 Now, you're going to laugh, 588 00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:55,438 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 589 00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:56,606 Music. 590 00:30:58,024 --> 00:30:59,275 Yes. 591 00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:00,401 You, too? 592 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:10,203 Oh, my love 593 00:31:10,286 --> 00:31:12,247 This one always gets me in the mood. 594 00:31:14,582 --> 00:31:16,292 So begins the dance. 595 00:31:25,009 --> 00:31:27,387 - You have some dribble. - Hmm? 596 00:31:27,470 --> 00:31:29,722 Just a touch of dribble right... 597 00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:40,692 And time goes by... 598 00:31:40,775 --> 00:31:45,196 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 599 00:32:08,678 --> 00:32:10,138 You are a delight. 600 00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:13,474 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 601 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:18,855 Hmm. 602 00:32:18,938 --> 00:32:22,942 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 603 00:32:23,401 --> 00:32:25,320 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 604 00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:29,115 We have combed the manifests 605 00:32:29,198 --> 00:32:32,076 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 606 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,288 and found not a single Moriarty. 607 00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:38,541 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 608 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,293 He's sailing under an alias. 609 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,479 Ah, here we are. 610 00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:44,756 So, after a thorough... 611 00:32:44,922 --> 00:32:46,299 Very thorough. 612 00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:49,969 - Stop. - No, you stop. 613 00:32:50,303 --> 00:32:53,014 Examination of the body... 614 00:32:53,097 --> 00:32:57,644 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some beautiful lateral incisions there. 615 00:32:57,727 --> 00:33:02,815 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 616 00:33:02,899 --> 00:33:05,234 - I would flay 1,000 faces for you. - And the way... 617 00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:06,819 Just tell me what you found! 618 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,030 Yes. 619 00:33:09,113 --> 00:33:10,698 Cause of death indeterminate. 620 00:33:10,782 --> 00:33:12,116 Indeterminate? 621 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:13,493 What do you mean? 622 00:33:13,576 --> 00:33:15,119 It means he doesn't know. 623 00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,413 - Proceed, Watson. - Yes. 624 00:33:17,830 --> 00:33:21,876 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 625 00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:24,295 and the numbers one and 20. 626 00:33:24,796 --> 00:33:26,631 I have the oddest feeling. 627 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:29,300 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 628 00:33:29,467 --> 00:33:30,927 Meaning you haven't a clue. 629 00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:34,472 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 630 00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:38,017 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 631 00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:40,770 A fantastic new case. 632 00:33:40,853 --> 00:33:43,106 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 633 00:33:43,189 --> 00:33:46,901 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 634 00:33:46,984 --> 00:33:49,612 I might work with you as a sort of... 635 00:33:49,862 --> 00:33:51,614 Grace called it a "co-detective." 636 00:33:52,073 --> 00:33:55,993 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 637 00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:57,412 It must be earned. 638 00:33:57,495 --> 00:33:59,956 Well, I deduced you might say that, 639 00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:04,877 which is why, when we arrive home, I propose a game of chess. 640 00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:07,130 If I should best you, 641 00:34:07,213 --> 00:34:09,173 then surely I possess the mental power... 642 00:34:09,257 --> 00:34:11,718 Checkmate! Checkmate. 643 00:34:11,801 --> 00:34:14,011 What? We haven't started yet. 644 00:34:14,303 --> 00:34:15,989 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 645 00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:18,182 Oh, indeed. A reliable first move. 646 00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:19,910 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 647 00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:22,812 Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 648 00:34:22,895 --> 00:34:25,356 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 649 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,441 No, not my queen! 650 00:34:26,524 --> 00:34:30,027 Seeing your queen exposed would have compelled you to defend her. 651 00:34:30,111 --> 00:34:33,072 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 652 00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:35,199 Thereby neglecting my castle. 653 00:34:37,410 --> 00:34:38,619 Checkmate. 654 00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:41,205 Perhaps another game? 655 00:34:41,289 --> 00:34:43,124 Rock-paper-scissors. 656 00:34:43,207 --> 00:34:45,626 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 657 00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:47,795 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 658 00:34:48,671 --> 00:34:49,672 Dash it all! 659 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:51,048 What about Battleship? 660 00:34:51,215 --> 00:34:53,801 D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3. 661 00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:56,053 Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 662 00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:57,972 You're a good man, Watson, 663 00:34:58,681 --> 00:35:00,141 but you're not ready. 664 00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:02,685 But why? 665 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:05,062 If you were ready, you'd know why. 666 00:35:15,865 --> 00:35:17,450 Let the game begin. 667 00:35:18,034 --> 00:35:19,535 A piece for a piece. 668 00:35:20,286 --> 00:35:21,829 Two can play at that game. 669 00:35:41,516 --> 00:35:42,558 Mmm. 670 00:35:45,269 --> 00:35:46,395 Peekaboo. 671 00:35:49,524 --> 00:35:51,651 Ah. Checkmate. 672 00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:54,612 And to the victor, the spoils. 673 00:35:58,241 --> 00:35:59,802 You'll never be co-detective. 674 00:36:05,915 --> 00:36:08,751 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 675 00:36:08,918 --> 00:36:14,757 My hypothesis is the true cause of death is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 676 00:36:14,841 --> 00:36:16,259 But I need your help. 677 00:36:18,845 --> 00:36:20,221 You want me to be co-detective? 678 00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:21,806 Mmm-mmm. 679 00:36:22,056 --> 00:36:24,433 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 680 00:36:25,059 --> 00:36:26,269 Sorry for what? 681 00:36:26,352 --> 00:36:28,104 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 682 00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:30,565 - May you rest in peace. - What's she on about? 683 00:36:30,648 --> 00:36:34,569 All will be clear in three, two, one. 684 00:36:36,946 --> 00:36:37,947 Excuse me. 685 00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:39,240 I'll take that. 686 00:36:39,532 --> 00:36:41,492 It's just something caught in my throat. 687 00:36:41,826 --> 00:36:43,077 Oh, no. 688 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,412 I poisoned you. 689 00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:45,830 Why? 690 00:36:45,913 --> 00:36:47,456 To test my theory. 691 00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:49,083 Am I going to die? 692 00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:50,459 No, I have an antidote. 693 00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,962 - Oh. - But I need to see it play out. 694 00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,172 Now, let's see here. 695 00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,401 Redness around the mouth. Good. 696 00:36:57,425 --> 00:36:58,426 Help me. 697 00:36:58,759 --> 00:37:01,137 You will have temporary brain damage. 698 00:37:02,972 --> 00:37:04,765 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 699 00:37:04,849 --> 00:37:06,267 We have work to do. Watson. 700 00:37:07,143 --> 00:37:08,853 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 701 00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,271 You son of a bitch! 702 00:37:10,354 --> 00:37:11,498 Violent aggression. 703 00:37:11,522 --> 00:37:13,441 Oh, please give me the antidote. 704 00:37:13,524 --> 00:37:14,775 Drama queen syndrome. 705 00:37:14,859 --> 00:37:17,111 Why am I doing this? 706 00:37:17,194 --> 00:37:18,404 Confused mime. 707 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:21,407 Oh! Does this suit make me look fat? 708 00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:23,117 Body image dysmorphia. 709 00:37:23,242 --> 00:37:24,994 My eyes! 710 00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:27,246 - Sensitivity to light. - My eyes! It burns! 711 00:37:28,623 --> 00:37:30,625 Excruciating abdominal pain. 712 00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:32,877 Yes, it's confirmed. 713 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,962 It was poison. Come, Watson. 714 00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:36,297 Let us not be late. 715 00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:39,425 Oh! Of course. 716 00:37:39,508 --> 00:37:40,551 Lactation. 717 00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:44,388 - Why? - Come along, Watson. 718 00:37:44,472 --> 00:37:45,723 I'll explain in the cab. 719 00:37:48,935 --> 00:37:50,102 There we go. 720 00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:51,896 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 721 00:37:51,979 --> 00:37:54,398 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 722 00:37:55,274 --> 00:37:56,484 Yes, you have. 723 00:37:59,362 --> 00:38:00,446 There. 724 00:38:00,613 --> 00:38:01,697 So where are we going? 725 00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:03,908 The fact that the victim was poisoned 726 00:38:03,991 --> 00:38:07,828 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 727 00:38:07,995 --> 00:38:10,998 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 728 00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:14,919 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 729 00:38:15,086 --> 00:38:17,505 A one-armed man. 730 00:38:17,588 --> 00:38:18,839 Yes. 731 00:38:19,006 --> 00:38:20,841 A weak man who would use poison. 732 00:38:20,925 --> 00:38:25,846 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 733 00:38:26,013 --> 00:38:28,849 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 734 00:38:29,308 --> 00:38:32,311 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 735 00:38:32,395 --> 00:38:33,635 Dorset Street. 736 00:38:33,688 --> 00:38:37,441 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 737 00:38:37,692 --> 00:38:40,236 And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 738 00:38:40,528 --> 00:38:42,863 Hello, gorgeous. 739 00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:47,702 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 740 00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:52,873 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 741 00:38:52,957 --> 00:38:56,419 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 742 00:38:56,502 --> 00:38:58,295 Excuse me. Have you the time? 743 00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:01,841 Not for you, outsider. 744 00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:03,551 Merciful God. 745 00:39:03,634 --> 00:39:05,219 We must blend in. 746 00:39:05,302 --> 00:39:09,306 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards has made me a master of disguise. 747 00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:10,391 Yes. 748 00:39:17,106 --> 00:39:18,149 You. 749 00:39:18,232 --> 00:39:19,608 What have you done with Sherlock? 750 00:39:19,984 --> 00:39:21,027 Why, Watson, 751 00:39:22,236 --> 00:39:23,320 I never left. 752 00:39:25,614 --> 00:39:27,199 - Amazing. - Yes, I know. 753 00:39:27,408 --> 00:39:29,702 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 754 00:39:29,785 --> 00:39:30,953 Now... 755 00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:32,913 - Huh? - No. 756 00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,457 - Still me. - It's you? 757 00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:36,208 It's still Sherlock. 758 00:39:36,292 --> 00:39:38,252 - All right. - Rest assured. 759 00:39:38,335 --> 00:39:39,587 It's very convincing. 760 00:39:39,754 --> 00:39:41,172 Now for your disguise. 761 00:39:41,589 --> 00:39:43,090 Oh, what will it be? 762 00:39:45,217 --> 00:39:48,345 Yes. You, my friend, 763 00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:54,560 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 764 00:39:54,810 --> 00:39:56,479 - Oh. - Yes. 765 00:39:57,021 --> 00:39:58,397 Yes. Yes. 766 00:39:58,731 --> 00:40:01,442 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 767 00:40:01,942 --> 00:40:02,985 Get into character. 768 00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,112 - Horseshit for sale! - There you go. 769 00:40:05,196 --> 00:40:07,382 - Who will buy my horse's shit? - I'll take some. 770 00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:10,284 - No one must know our true purpose. - Mmm. 771 00:40:11,243 --> 00:40:12,328 What you toffs want? 772 00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:16,832 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 773 00:40:20,169 --> 00:40:22,338 Every man has both arms. 774 00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:23,798 Klinger isn't here. 775 00:40:24,673 --> 00:40:26,008 Our journey continues. 776 00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:29,136 - Blend in like a common oaf. - Yes. 777 00:40:31,347 --> 00:40:33,140 Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 778 00:40:33,224 --> 00:40:34,225 Cheers. 779 00:40:35,643 --> 00:40:36,644 Cheers! 780 00:40:36,977 --> 00:40:38,729 More, more, more! 781 00:40:42,817 --> 00:40:44,360 Oi! Oi! Oi! 782 00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:52,469 They have boxing here. 783 00:40:52,493 --> 00:40:53,994 I don't care if he's small! 784 00:40:54,078 --> 00:40:55,871 - Kill! - Come on, fight! 785 00:40:58,415 --> 00:40:59,851 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 786 00:40:59,875 --> 00:41:01,836 - Who cares about Klinger? - Exactly! 787 00:41:05,881 --> 00:41:07,091 Release the child! 788 00:41:07,174 --> 00:41:09,009 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 789 00:41:09,093 --> 00:41:10,678 Sweet river of piss. 790 00:41:13,139 --> 00:41:14,515 You have real force there. 791 00:41:15,766 --> 00:41:17,184 Arc of stream. 792 00:41:17,268 --> 00:41:18,686 Direction of wind. 793 00:41:18,769 --> 00:41:20,604 Compensate for shy penis. 794 00:41:20,688 --> 00:41:22,523 Avoid splash on shoes. 795 00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:25,067 And release fluids. 796 00:41:25,151 --> 00:41:26,318 Oh, my goodness. 797 00:41:26,777 --> 00:41:29,655 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 798 00:41:30,281 --> 00:41:31,866 You really are a genius. 799 00:41:31,949 --> 00:41:33,033 - Oh, watch it. - Oh, sorry. 800 00:41:34,368 --> 00:41:36,203 I should like to send a telegram. 801 00:41:36,996 --> 00:41:38,664 Grace. Stop. 802 00:41:40,875 --> 00:41:43,127 Are you awake? Stop. 803 00:41:45,629 --> 00:41:47,715 Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady. 804 00:41:48,048 --> 00:41:49,675 Ooh! 805 00:41:49,842 --> 00:41:51,510 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 806 00:41:51,594 --> 00:41:52,970 This is wonderful. 807 00:41:53,053 --> 00:41:56,307 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 808 00:41:56,390 --> 00:41:59,810 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 809 00:41:59,894 --> 00:42:00,895 Quite right. 810 00:42:00,978 --> 00:42:02,688 I will call it an intoxigram. 811 00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:05,316 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 812 00:42:05,649 --> 00:42:08,402 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 813 00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:09,820 Ask her what she's wearing. 814 00:42:10,237 --> 00:42:12,114 What are you wearing? Stop. 815 00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:13,699 "What are you wearing?" 816 00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:14,992 Bloomers? 817 00:42:15,534 --> 00:42:18,245 - Probably. - What color? Stop. 818 00:42:18,329 --> 00:42:20,206 A brassiere? 819 00:42:20,289 --> 00:42:22,333 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 820 00:42:22,416 --> 00:42:23,751 - Wonderful. - Stop. 821 00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,920 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 822 00:42:26,003 --> 00:42:27,046 Um... 823 00:42:27,922 --> 00:42:30,132 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 824 00:42:30,216 --> 00:42:32,384 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 825 00:42:32,468 --> 00:42:36,138 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 826 00:42:36,222 --> 00:42:38,474 Hot wax. Stop. 827 00:42:38,849 --> 00:42:40,493 - Okay. That's enough. - Yeah, I think so. 828 00:42:40,517 --> 00:42:44,063 Now show her how she makes you feel. Huh? 829 00:42:44,605 --> 00:42:46,232 Just go ahead. Display it. 830 00:42:47,524 --> 00:42:48,525 There. 831 00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:50,110 Telegraph a picture of this. 832 00:42:50,236 --> 00:42:53,322 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 833 00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:54,740 Focus on the mushroom. 834 00:42:54,907 --> 00:42:57,576 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 835 00:42:57,701 --> 00:42:59,578 You absolutely will. 836 00:42:59,662 --> 00:43:01,205 - Silence, you! - Say it again. 837 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:02,568 - Say it again. I dare you. - Oh! 838 00:43:02,623 --> 00:43:03,934 Please say it. Please say it again. 839 00:43:03,958 --> 00:43:05,769 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 840 00:43:05,793 --> 00:43:07,628 I have the penis of a baby doll. 841 00:43:11,173 --> 00:43:12,716 It's just a statement of fact. 842 00:43:17,763 --> 00:43:22,059 Oh, well, Watson, after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 843 00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:24,311 Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend. 844 00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:25,896 Ah! Cakes, indeed! 845 00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:29,149 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 846 00:43:30,234 --> 00:43:31,986 We should open a restaurant called 847 00:43:32,069 --> 00:43:35,906 the International House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 848 00:43:36,156 --> 00:43:39,201 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 849 00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:41,346 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 850 00:43:41,370 --> 00:43:43,122 - No sign of Klinger anywhere. - Mmm. 851 00:43:44,290 --> 00:43:45,874 Not so fast, Watson. 852 00:43:46,208 --> 00:43:48,794 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 853 00:43:49,169 --> 00:43:50,462 I don't understand. 854 00:43:50,796 --> 00:43:53,215 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 855 00:43:53,299 --> 00:43:56,010 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 856 00:44:00,222 --> 00:44:01,473 A gymnasium? 857 00:44:01,557 --> 00:44:03,642 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 858 00:44:03,726 --> 00:44:05,936 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 859 00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:09,064 Three, two, one. 860 00:44:09,398 --> 00:44:11,984 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 861 00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:14,320 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 862 00:44:14,403 --> 00:44:15,755 Look at these health nuts. 863 00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:17,173 Big deep breath. 864 00:44:17,197 --> 00:44:19,533 Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 865 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:23,203 All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 866 00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:25,789 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 867 00:44:26,248 --> 00:44:28,375 Hello, hello, hello! 868 00:44:28,459 --> 00:44:30,336 Sherlock Holmes. 869 00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:31,503 Ah. 870 00:44:32,004 --> 00:44:33,589 You must be Gustav Klinger, 871 00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:36,258 the one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 872 00:44:36,925 --> 00:44:38,302 Looks like it. 873 00:44:40,637 --> 00:44:44,224 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 874 00:44:44,308 --> 00:44:46,352 and baking him into a large cake. 875 00:44:46,518 --> 00:44:50,773 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 876 00:44:51,023 --> 00:44:52,399 Oh, please. 877 00:44:52,608 --> 00:44:53,817 How dare you! 878 00:44:54,068 --> 00:44:56,236 You did not bake that cake. 879 00:44:56,362 --> 00:44:58,739 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 880 00:44:58,989 --> 00:44:59,990 Impossible. 881 00:45:00,074 --> 00:45:01,450 It's got a frosting attachment. 882 00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:02,743 You're trying to tell me 883 00:45:02,826 --> 00:45:05,954 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 884 00:45:06,038 --> 00:45:07,247 - fit for the Queen. - Watson. 885 00:45:07,331 --> 00:45:09,583 - It's just... It... - It doesn't matter 886 00:45:09,666 --> 00:45:11,102 - if he baked the cake or not. - It really bugs... I know. 887 00:45:11,126 --> 00:45:12,562 - It really... - Best cake I've ever eaten. 888 00:45:12,586 --> 00:45:14,797 - I did bake the cake. - All right, fine. 889 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,423 You "baked the cake." 890 00:45:16,548 --> 00:45:18,926 I didn't "bake a cake." 891 00:45:19,802 --> 00:45:20,886 I baked a cake. 892 00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:22,012 Then you admit it. 893 00:45:22,429 --> 00:45:24,098 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 894 00:45:24,181 --> 00:45:25,741 And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 895 00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:29,228 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 896 00:45:29,436 --> 00:45:31,480 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 897 00:45:32,398 --> 00:45:35,359 You've walked straight into our trap. 898 00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:37,736 - Moriarty. - Quiet, Watson. 899 00:45:37,986 --> 00:45:41,490 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 900 00:45:41,865 --> 00:45:43,659 Oh, come, Sherlock. 901 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:45,994 You don't think it'll be that easy. 902 00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:48,414 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes, 903 00:45:49,248 --> 00:45:53,710 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 904 00:45:57,214 --> 00:45:58,465 Where are you pointing? 905 00:45:59,883 --> 00:46:00,884 There. 906 00:46:01,009 --> 00:46:02,094 This way or that way? 907 00:46:02,886 --> 00:46:03,971 There. 908 00:46:04,054 --> 00:46:05,556 - Oh. - The Hexagon. 909 00:46:05,639 --> 00:46:07,724 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 910 00:46:07,808 --> 00:46:09,685 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. 911 00:46:10,769 --> 00:46:13,129 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 912 00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:14,481 Oh, uh... 913 00:46:14,565 --> 00:46:15,941 You won't be fighting me. 914 00:46:16,108 --> 00:46:18,068 Nah, nah, nah. 915 00:46:18,277 --> 00:46:19,611 You're fighting my mate. 916 00:46:20,070 --> 00:46:21,947 Meet Brawn. 917 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,467 Oh, come on. 918 00:46:43,010 --> 00:46:44,261 Well, I call bullshit. 919 00:46:48,223 --> 00:46:50,684 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 920 00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:53,020 I think it's mostly psychological. 921 00:46:56,273 --> 00:46:58,859 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 922 00:46:58,942 --> 00:47:01,445 Fight! Fight! Fight! 923 00:47:04,072 --> 00:47:05,908 Okay. Okay. 924 00:47:05,991 --> 00:47:08,869 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 925 00:47:08,952 --> 00:47:10,370 You have to pay to view it. 926 00:47:10,454 --> 00:47:13,707 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 927 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:15,834 Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 928 00:47:15,918 --> 00:47:17,628 but if you split it among a few friends 929 00:47:17,711 --> 00:47:19,338 and buy some beers, some pizza, 930 00:47:19,421 --> 00:47:21,507 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 931 00:47:21,715 --> 00:47:26,303 It's time! 932 00:47:26,512 --> 00:47:28,931 Let's get ready to scuffle! 933 00:47:31,016 --> 00:47:33,393 Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 934 00:47:33,477 --> 00:47:34,478 Nice! 935 00:47:34,561 --> 00:47:35,854 What is she doing here? 936 00:47:35,979 --> 00:47:37,147 It's 6:00 in the morning. 937 00:47:37,523 --> 00:47:38,774 Holmes, I don't know why... 938 00:47:38,857 --> 00:47:40,692 - Yes. - But that really jacked me up. 939 00:47:40,776 --> 00:47:42,819 - Ah! - I think I might stand a chance. 940 00:47:42,903 --> 00:47:44,738 It reminds me of Istanbul. 941 00:47:44,821 --> 00:47:47,282 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 942 00:47:47,616 --> 00:47:49,284 - Syphilis! - Syphilis! Exactly. 943 00:47:49,368 --> 00:47:50,619 - Go get him. - All right. 944 00:47:51,370 --> 00:47:52,412 Come on! 945 00:47:52,496 --> 00:47:53,872 "Come on"? You come on! 946 00:47:53,956 --> 00:47:55,415 You! 947 00:47:55,499 --> 00:47:56,959 You mountain of flesh. 948 00:48:05,968 --> 00:48:07,719 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 949 00:48:08,178 --> 00:48:10,556 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 950 00:48:15,561 --> 00:48:17,646 Opponent, 350 pounds. 951 00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:19,273 Use pipe. 952 00:48:19,565 --> 00:48:22,192 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 953 00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:25,153 Plan of attack, 954 00:48:26,029 --> 00:48:28,824 surprise first blow to center of mass. 955 00:48:28,907 --> 00:48:31,159 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 956 00:48:31,702 --> 00:48:33,453 Employ visual impairment. 957 00:48:34,955 --> 00:48:36,999 Easily duck wild swing. 958 00:48:37,499 --> 00:48:40,711 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 959 00:48:40,794 --> 00:48:42,379 to disrupt his balance. 960 00:48:44,131 --> 00:48:45,382 Grab facial hair. 961 00:48:45,465 --> 00:48:46,758 Use for leverage. 962 00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:49,136 Okinawan beard flip. 963 00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,348 Enemy incapacitated. 964 00:48:54,099 --> 00:48:55,183 Catch pipe. 965 00:48:56,351 --> 00:48:58,604 Revel in crowd's adulation. 966 00:49:14,119 --> 00:49:15,203 Oh, no. 967 00:49:18,582 --> 00:49:19,666 Good show, Watson. 968 00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:21,293 Thank you, Holmes. 969 00:49:22,961 --> 00:49:24,254 Break his pelvis. 970 00:49:24,755 --> 00:49:26,298 Go! Again! 971 00:49:27,007 --> 00:49:28,884 Club him like a baby seal. 972 00:49:34,181 --> 00:49:36,099 - What have I done? - No, you're fine. 973 00:49:36,391 --> 00:49:37,893 - Okay. - Now, 974 00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:41,313 tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 975 00:49:42,189 --> 00:49:43,190 All right. 976 00:49:43,482 --> 00:49:45,150 I'll tell you everything I know. 977 00:49:47,319 --> 00:49:48,820 I've been stabbed in the back. 978 00:49:51,531 --> 00:49:52,741 Meaning? Oh. 979 00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:54,534 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 980 00:49:54,618 --> 00:49:57,454 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 981 00:49:59,748 --> 00:50:01,041 Holmes, he's escaping. 982 00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:11,677 So Moriarty is in England. 983 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,763 Watson. Does it look like Moriarty 984 00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,390 now? 985 00:50:16,932 --> 00:50:18,100 Who is this? 986 00:50:18,350 --> 00:50:19,810 Jacob Musgrave, 987 00:50:20,435 --> 00:50:22,229 as I've been saying all along. 988 00:50:22,646 --> 00:50:24,731 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, 989 00:50:24,815 --> 00:50:27,442 a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 990 00:50:27,526 --> 00:50:28,860 All right, I admit it. 991 00:50:28,944 --> 00:50:30,362 I am no Moriarty. 992 00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:32,406 My name is Musgrave, 993 00:50:32,489 --> 00:50:33,824 just like he says. 994 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,785 - Wow. - Who put you up to this? 995 00:50:37,285 --> 00:50:40,038 Oh, they've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 996 00:50:40,580 --> 00:50:41,707 I don't know who it is. 997 00:50:41,790 --> 00:50:43,959 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 998 00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:45,711 He's telling the truth, Watson. 999 00:50:46,211 --> 00:50:48,130 This morally deficient creature, 1000 00:50:48,714 --> 00:50:52,342 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 1001 00:50:52,426 --> 00:50:54,720 - Bag of rubbish. - Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 1002 00:50:54,803 --> 00:50:56,555 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 1003 00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:59,141 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 1004 00:50:59,224 --> 00:51:00,934 - Wait, wait, wait. - What? 1005 00:51:01,435 --> 00:51:02,477 Just a... 1006 00:51:02,561 --> 00:51:03,645 Don't wank on us. 1007 00:51:05,188 --> 00:51:06,314 A coal. 1008 00:51:07,149 --> 00:51:09,651 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 1009 00:51:11,445 --> 00:51:13,572 - A lump of coal? - Yeah. 1010 00:51:13,780 --> 00:51:14,990 To Newcastle? 1011 00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,575 Newcastle by the river? 1012 00:51:17,033 --> 00:51:19,870 Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 1013 00:51:19,953 --> 00:51:20,954 Time is running out. 1014 00:51:21,037 --> 00:51:22,289 We must save the Queen. 1015 00:51:22,372 --> 00:51:23,749 Good luck to you. 1016 00:51:27,502 --> 00:51:29,671 While speeding to London town 1017 00:51:29,755 --> 00:51:32,382 Bad man he said we gotta get down 1018 00:51:32,466 --> 00:51:35,010 Keep smiling and forget that frown 1019 00:51:35,093 --> 00:51:37,512 Little reason to keep that crown 1020 00:51:37,596 --> 00:51:40,182 While speeding to London town 1021 00:51:40,265 --> 00:51:42,934 Bad man he said we gotta get down 1022 00:51:43,018 --> 00:51:45,437 Keep smiling and forget that frown... 1023 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,607 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 1024 00:51:48,690 --> 00:51:49,983 Coals. 1025 00:51:50,525 --> 00:51:52,736 Coals. "Sherlock." 1026 00:51:52,819 --> 00:51:55,781 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen." 1027 00:51:55,864 --> 00:51:57,633 Millicent is the subject of my research. 1028 00:51:57,657 --> 00:51:58,737 Coals to Newcastle. 1029 00:51:58,784 --> 00:52:01,703 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 1030 00:52:01,787 --> 00:52:03,055 She has the mental capacity of... 1031 00:52:03,079 --> 00:52:04,223 Now you have but three days... 1032 00:52:04,247 --> 00:52:06,708 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 1033 00:52:06,792 --> 00:52:09,669 Co-detective Sherlock and me 1034 00:52:09,753 --> 00:52:10,921 Uh... Oh. 1035 00:52:11,004 --> 00:52:12,547 Good morning, Sherlock. 1036 00:52:13,173 --> 00:52:14,716 - What's happened? - Well, I'm... 1037 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,052 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 1038 00:52:17,135 --> 00:52:18,178 Ah. 1039 00:52:18,261 --> 00:52:20,680 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 1040 00:52:20,847 --> 00:52:24,893 Do you suppose she's infected me with some sort of a disease? 1041 00:52:25,060 --> 00:52:26,061 Disease? 1042 00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:27,521 My heart races. 1043 00:52:27,813 --> 00:52:29,064 My palms sweat. 1044 00:52:29,231 --> 00:52:30,857 I have all these feelings. 1045 00:52:30,982 --> 00:52:33,735 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 1046 00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:35,904 You're in love. 1047 00:52:36,029 --> 00:52:37,989 Love? Horseradish! 1048 00:52:38,114 --> 00:52:39,241 I'm a man of logic. 1049 00:52:39,324 --> 00:52:40,644 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 1050 00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:45,247 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 1051 00:52:45,747 --> 00:52:48,375 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 1052 00:52:48,875 --> 00:52:50,001 Apparently, 1053 00:52:50,669 --> 00:52:53,547 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 1054 00:52:55,048 --> 00:52:56,591 Watson, you've cracked it. 1055 00:52:57,008 --> 00:52:58,385 Have I? Co-detective? 1056 00:52:58,468 --> 00:52:59,553 - Think, Watson. - Uh... 1057 00:52:59,636 --> 00:53:01,221 Is there a single logical reason 1058 00:53:01,304 --> 00:53:03,139 for Grace to want to seek your company? 1059 00:53:03,807 --> 00:53:05,058 Romantic interest? 1060 00:53:05,308 --> 00:53:06,977 - No. - My eyes? 1061 00:53:07,060 --> 00:53:08,186 It's all a ruse. 1062 00:53:08,270 --> 00:53:10,313 Moriarty escapes to America, 1063 00:53:10,397 --> 00:53:12,941 and then these two American women show up? 1064 00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:17,070 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 1065 00:53:17,153 --> 00:53:19,865 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 1066 00:53:19,948 --> 00:53:22,242 - She would have used a gun. - Ah. Hmm. 1067 00:53:22,325 --> 00:53:25,245 No, Grace is working for the killer. 1068 00:53:25,328 --> 00:53:26,371 Oh. 1069 00:53:26,454 --> 00:53:28,331 We shall seduce her, 1070 00:53:28,415 --> 00:53:30,250 and that will lead us to the murderer. 1071 00:53:30,542 --> 00:53:31,585 Mmm-hmm. 1072 00:53:32,043 --> 00:53:33,712 Yes. 1073 00:53:35,213 --> 00:53:36,693 Who could that be at this early hour? 1074 00:53:36,756 --> 00:53:38,425 Enter. 1075 00:53:44,806 --> 00:53:46,641 Her Majesty. 1076 00:53:47,767 --> 00:53:49,603 Have you come to see me? 1077 00:53:50,729 --> 00:53:53,648 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1078 00:53:53,732 --> 00:53:55,692 unless you can solve this case. 1079 00:53:56,610 --> 00:53:58,820 My queen, do come in. 1080 00:53:59,779 --> 00:54:02,073 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1081 00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:06,119 Your Majesty. 1082 00:54:06,494 --> 00:54:07,662 You'll be happy to know 1083 00:54:07,746 --> 00:54:10,540 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1084 00:54:10,999 --> 00:54:12,459 This chunk of coal. 1085 00:54:12,918 --> 00:54:14,210 What does it mean? 1086 00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:15,879 It's quite a mystery. 1087 00:54:17,839 --> 00:54:19,215 Is this going to be a problem? 1088 00:54:19,633 --> 00:54:20,675 Watson. 1089 00:54:20,759 --> 00:54:23,053 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 1090 00:54:23,136 --> 00:54:24,554 Oh, yes, of course. 1091 00:54:26,097 --> 00:54:29,517 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1092 00:54:29,601 --> 00:54:32,896 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 1093 00:54:33,271 --> 00:54:35,190 are somehow involved in this plot. 1094 00:54:36,316 --> 00:54:37,317 Sorry. 1095 00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:39,194 Your Majesty, 1096 00:54:39,778 --> 00:54:42,656 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1097 00:54:42,781 --> 00:54:44,908 But who is going to take the photograph? 1098 00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:46,743 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 1099 00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:49,454 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1100 00:54:49,537 --> 00:54:51,915 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1101 00:54:51,998 --> 00:54:54,876 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1102 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,546 you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus. 1103 00:54:58,797 --> 00:55:00,757 Platypus face. Chins up. 1104 00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:05,220 - Hey. - Hey. Hey, girl. 1105 00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:06,930 You know, maybe over by the window. 1106 00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:09,413 - The lighting's much better there. - Yes, yes, capital idea. 1107 00:55:10,642 --> 00:55:12,811 - Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am. - Oh! Oh! 1108 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,646 Ma'am! Your Majesty. 1109 00:55:14,729 --> 00:55:16,356 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 1110 00:55:16,815 --> 00:55:17,899 Oh, dear. 1111 00:55:19,192 --> 00:55:20,443 Tell me, Watson. 1112 00:55:22,028 --> 00:55:23,321 She's dead. 1113 00:55:24,990 --> 00:55:26,282 Dear God. 1114 00:55:28,410 --> 00:55:30,370 We've killed the Queen. 1115 00:55:30,704 --> 00:55:32,163 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 1116 00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:34,079 Yes. 1117 00:55:34,124 --> 00:55:36,001 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 1118 00:55:36,084 --> 00:55:37,228 Yes, I'm quite fine. 1119 00:55:37,252 --> 00:55:40,130 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 1120 00:55:42,298 --> 00:55:44,467 Why did you want that photograph? 1121 00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:47,012 I didn't want the photograph. 1122 00:55:47,095 --> 00:55:48,972 What are you talking about? 1123 00:55:49,055 --> 00:55:50,724 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1124 00:55:50,932 --> 00:55:52,809 I'm very, very safe. 1125 00:55:52,892 --> 00:55:55,395 - She's so dead. - She's so dead. 1126 00:55:55,770 --> 00:55:56,896 - I know. - Okay. 1127 00:55:56,980 --> 00:55:58,314 We'll shove her down the toilet 1128 00:55:58,398 --> 00:56:00,942 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1129 00:56:01,026 --> 00:56:02,466 Right. Excellent. 1130 00:56:02,777 --> 00:56:03,897 - Come on. - Come up. 1131 00:56:05,947 --> 00:56:07,490 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1132 00:56:09,284 --> 00:56:10,827 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1133 00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:12,287 What was the big bang? 1134 00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:13,681 We must buy some time. 1135 00:56:13,705 --> 00:56:14,890 - Right. - Let's get her to the door. 1136 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:16,154 - Open this door! - Wait. 1137 00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:18,436 Hello. What do you want? 1138 00:56:18,460 --> 00:56:19,794 Ma'am, are you all right? 1139 00:56:19,878 --> 00:56:22,047 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1140 00:56:22,213 --> 00:56:23,274 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 1141 00:56:23,298 --> 00:56:24,525 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 1142 00:56:24,549 --> 00:56:25,776 - We're good. - Yes, sir. 1143 00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:28,470 - The trunk. - Yes. 1144 00:56:28,678 --> 00:56:30,388 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1145 00:56:31,848 --> 00:56:33,048 Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 1146 00:56:33,433 --> 00:56:34,476 There we go. 1147 00:56:34,559 --> 00:56:35,560 Stuff her in there. 1148 00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:37,121 Really thrust. 1149 00:56:37,145 --> 00:56:38,563 Good. Good. 1150 00:56:39,272 --> 00:56:40,607 Good. Good. 1151 00:56:41,024 --> 00:56:42,664 - Hold on, Watson. - Come on, boys. 1152 00:56:42,692 --> 00:56:44,569 Open the door! 1153 00:56:44,652 --> 00:56:46,446 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1154 00:56:46,529 --> 00:56:48,823 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 1155 00:56:49,991 --> 00:56:51,785 Open this door immediately! 1156 00:56:51,993 --> 00:56:53,119 This is bad. 1157 00:56:53,203 --> 00:56:54,996 You know what we must do. 1158 00:56:56,039 --> 00:56:57,248 Grab your toolbox. 1159 00:56:57,332 --> 00:56:59,876 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1160 00:57:01,753 --> 00:57:03,797 - Bone saw. - Bone saw. 1161 00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:05,316 - Oh, God. - Come on! Push! Come on, together! 1162 00:57:05,340 --> 00:57:08,093 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 1163 00:57:08,176 --> 00:57:09,236 Put your back into it! 1164 00:57:12,847 --> 00:57:14,224 Good God! 1165 00:57:14,307 --> 00:57:15,558 What have you done? 1166 00:57:17,477 --> 00:57:18,937 Platypus lips. 1167 00:57:25,902 --> 00:57:29,739 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1168 00:57:30,907 --> 00:57:32,408 Absolutely. 1169 00:57:33,243 --> 00:57:37,163 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 1170 00:57:38,790 --> 00:57:39,874 Gentlemen, 1171 00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:43,628 you have two days to stop this killer. 1172 00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,004 Yes, ma'am. 1173 00:57:46,214 --> 00:57:47,465 God save the Queen. 1174 00:57:52,345 --> 00:57:56,015 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 1175 00:57:56,182 --> 00:57:57,934 the Anglo-American Exhibition. 1176 00:57:58,434 --> 00:58:00,395 A celebration of that special relationship 1177 00:58:00,478 --> 00:58:02,272 between our nation and yours. 1178 00:58:02,355 --> 00:58:04,357 Yes, such a special relationship 1179 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,234 between these two nations, 1180 00:58:06,484 --> 00:58:08,486 although I could never live 1181 00:58:08,570 --> 00:58:10,530 in a country with an unelected ruler 1182 00:58:10,613 --> 00:58:11,614 like the Queen. 1183 00:58:11,739 --> 00:58:13,449 Why ever not? 1184 00:58:13,783 --> 00:58:15,827 In America, we have democracy. 1185 00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:18,913 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1186 00:58:18,997 --> 00:58:20,039 Mmm. 1187 00:58:20,123 --> 00:58:24,169 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 1188 00:58:24,335 --> 00:58:28,298 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1189 00:58:28,381 --> 00:58:31,050 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 1190 00:58:31,134 --> 00:58:33,511 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1191 00:58:33,595 --> 00:58:35,180 Not always, unfortunately. 1192 00:58:35,305 --> 00:58:37,473 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1193 00:58:37,557 --> 00:58:38,975 But a showman as well. 1194 00:58:39,142 --> 00:58:40,393 I love a good show. 1195 00:58:40,476 --> 00:58:42,437 America. 1196 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,356 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1197 00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,817 London's spectacle... 1198 00:58:48,276 --> 00:58:49,736 Remember, Watson. 1199 00:58:49,861 --> 00:58:52,947 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1200 00:58:53,656 --> 00:58:55,283 I must say, she doesn't look 1201 00:58:55,366 --> 00:58:57,285 like she could be an accessory to murder. 1202 00:58:58,578 --> 00:59:00,622 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1203 00:59:02,498 --> 00:59:04,334 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1204 00:59:05,001 --> 00:59:08,880 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1205 00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,256 Ah. 1206 00:59:13,718 --> 00:59:15,220 I could use a bit of cocaine. 1207 00:59:15,303 --> 00:59:16,888 Did you bring a vial with you? 1208 00:59:20,767 --> 00:59:21,935 Very good. 1209 00:59:30,151 --> 00:59:32,278 - Are you all right? - I'm... I'm exhausted. 1210 00:59:32,779 --> 00:59:35,156 There is one test I can employ 1211 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,867 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1212 00:59:38,034 --> 00:59:39,369 Then do it, Holmes. 1213 00:59:39,452 --> 00:59:41,871 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1214 00:59:45,083 --> 00:59:46,376 - Help! - John? 1215 00:59:46,459 --> 00:59:48,187 - This man has been taken ill. - What? 1216 00:59:48,211 --> 00:59:50,588 Oh! 1217 00:59:50,672 --> 00:59:51,673 Let me see. 1218 00:59:51,756 --> 00:59:53,633 If only there were a doctor present. 1219 00:59:54,133 --> 00:59:56,970 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1220 00:59:57,428 --> 00:59:58,429 He's concussed. 1221 00:59:58,513 --> 01:00:00,932 - And I am a doctor. - A doctor? 1222 01:00:01,015 --> 01:00:03,768 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 1223 01:00:04,227 --> 01:00:05,436 Could it be? 1224 01:00:06,104 --> 01:00:08,398 Is Grace truly a doctor? 1225 01:00:08,856 --> 01:00:11,192 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1226 01:00:11,401 --> 01:00:12,986 Then she's innocent. 1227 01:00:13,361 --> 01:00:14,654 Watson, get up. 1228 01:00:14,737 --> 01:00:15,989 We need to go see my brother. 1229 01:00:16,072 --> 01:00:18,116 - I love you, Grace. - Oh! 1230 01:00:20,493 --> 01:00:22,996 The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 1231 01:00:23,079 --> 01:00:26,874 Home of London's most awkward gentlemen and my brother. 1232 01:00:28,626 --> 01:00:29,877 - Holmes. - Mmm. 1233 01:00:29,961 --> 01:00:31,421 I can't believe you have a brother. 1234 01:00:31,504 --> 01:00:33,381 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 1235 01:00:33,548 --> 01:00:35,883 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 1236 01:00:35,967 --> 01:00:37,260 the people around him. 1237 01:00:37,719 --> 01:00:39,262 Follow me. Here. 1238 01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:45,560 Well, well, well. 1239 01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:50,148 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1240 01:00:51,024 --> 01:00:52,664 I must say, I'm not surprised. 1241 01:00:53,192 --> 01:00:55,737 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1242 01:00:55,820 --> 01:00:57,280 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 1243 01:00:57,363 --> 01:00:58,406 Mmm. 1244 01:01:11,627 --> 01:01:13,504 So shall I get us started? 1245 01:01:16,257 --> 01:01:18,009 Watson, please. 1246 01:01:18,092 --> 01:01:20,053 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1247 01:01:20,136 --> 01:01:21,137 Can't you see? 1248 01:01:21,262 --> 01:01:23,765 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England 1249 01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:25,141 have a fraternal bond, 1250 01:01:25,224 --> 01:01:27,226 words are an inefficiency. 1251 01:01:27,310 --> 01:01:29,812 We communicate without words, silently, 1252 01:01:29,896 --> 01:01:32,190 from giant brain to gianter brain. 1253 01:01:32,357 --> 01:01:33,358 Of course. 1254 01:01:34,150 --> 01:01:36,444 I'll join in as I see fit. 1255 01:01:39,906 --> 01:01:42,700 I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 1256 01:01:42,784 --> 01:01:45,828 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1257 01:01:45,912 --> 01:01:48,081 My thirst is for logic. 1258 01:01:48,164 --> 01:01:52,251 I don't care what the public thinks of London's best-loved detective, 1259 01:01:52,335 --> 01:01:53,544 Sherlock Holmes. 1260 01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:55,338 Thoughts. 1261 01:01:55,421 --> 01:01:57,048 Me-Me talky. 1262 01:01:57,382 --> 01:01:58,716 Me-Me talky. 1263 01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,259 You find killer. 1264 01:02:00,343 --> 01:02:03,096 Me-Me talky? We find killer? 1265 01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:06,099 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1266 01:02:06,182 --> 01:02:07,392 Trying to brain-speak. 1267 01:02:07,475 --> 01:02:09,227 You're going to hurt yourself. 1268 01:02:09,519 --> 01:02:11,229 Uh, sorry. 1269 01:02:11,521 --> 01:02:13,940 Uh, perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1270 01:02:14,023 --> 01:02:16,025 in the companions' chamber. 1271 01:02:16,859 --> 01:02:20,196 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1272 01:02:20,446 --> 01:02:22,865 - In the companions' chamber, sir. - Yes, fine. Of course. 1273 01:02:22,949 --> 01:02:24,992 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1274 01:02:25,076 --> 01:02:26,676 - I'll be in the companions' room. - Yes. 1275 01:02:26,702 --> 01:02:29,330 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1276 01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:30,873 It's just here. 1277 01:02:36,003 --> 01:02:38,323 Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1278 01:02:38,506 --> 01:02:39,715 I see. Huh. 1279 01:02:40,550 --> 01:02:43,719 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1280 01:02:45,179 --> 01:02:46,490 Fair enough. 1281 01:02:51,310 --> 01:02:55,148 Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 1282 01:02:55,648 --> 01:02:59,026 If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1283 01:02:59,110 --> 01:03:00,361 it could only be me. 1284 01:03:01,112 --> 01:03:03,322 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 1285 01:03:03,406 --> 01:03:06,492 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1286 01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:09,662 If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1287 01:03:09,912 --> 01:03:12,039 how has he predicted my every move? 1288 01:03:12,123 --> 01:03:13,767 The killer did not predict your actions. 1289 01:03:13,791 --> 01:03:15,960 Our murderer is a student of yours, 1290 01:03:16,043 --> 01:03:17,503 someone in your proximity. 1291 01:03:17,587 --> 01:03:19,797 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1292 01:03:19,881 --> 01:03:22,341 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1293 01:03:22,425 --> 01:03:23,885 His mind radiates wisdom. 1294 01:03:23,968 --> 01:03:25,678 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1295 01:03:29,265 --> 01:03:30,683 I am dying from anticipation. 1296 01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:32,161 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1297 01:03:32,185 --> 01:03:34,020 I believe I've cracked the case. 1298 01:03:34,187 --> 01:03:36,898 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 1299 01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:38,107 Oh, do share. 1300 01:03:38,316 --> 01:03:39,984 And ruin the suspense? 1301 01:03:40,276 --> 01:03:42,862 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1302 01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:44,197 And we're here. 1303 01:03:47,116 --> 01:03:48,242 Now, 1304 01:03:48,409 --> 01:03:51,621 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1305 01:03:52,246 --> 01:03:55,291 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1306 01:03:55,625 --> 01:03:56,959 The killer could only be a man 1307 01:03:57,043 --> 01:03:59,086 who knew my actions at every turn. 1308 01:03:59,629 --> 01:04:02,256 Who was present at every murder? 1309 01:04:02,340 --> 01:04:03,341 Hmm? 1310 01:04:03,716 --> 01:04:05,927 Who knows me better than anyone? 1311 01:04:06,385 --> 01:04:09,305 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1312 01:04:09,388 --> 01:04:12,058 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1313 01:04:12,266 --> 01:04:15,603 initiating the events leading us to today. 1314 01:04:16,062 --> 01:04:18,898 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1315 01:04:21,984 --> 01:04:23,236 By studying my methods, 1316 01:04:23,319 --> 01:04:26,489 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1317 01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:28,991 Why? I was to be so impressed 1318 01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,911 that I would crown him co-detective. 1319 01:04:32,036 --> 01:04:34,413 He wanted to rewrite history 1320 01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:36,499 by becoming my partner. 1321 01:04:40,294 --> 01:04:43,548 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1322 01:04:43,631 --> 01:04:45,591 and on to the surprising real killer. 1323 01:04:45,675 --> 01:04:47,218 I wonder who it's going to be. 1324 01:04:47,301 --> 01:04:49,470 When one eliminates the impossible, 1325 01:04:49,554 --> 01:04:52,390 whatever remains, however improbable, 1326 01:04:52,473 --> 01:04:53,724 is the truth. 1327 01:04:54,809 --> 01:04:56,727 But this is absurd. 1328 01:04:57,478 --> 01:04:58,997 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 1329 01:04:59,021 --> 01:05:00,982 The heart is for pumping blood. 1330 01:05:01,065 --> 01:05:03,609 The truth is the truth! 1331 01:05:04,026 --> 01:05:05,027 Truth 1332 01:05:05,861 --> 01:05:09,031 is that I have devoted my life to you. 1333 01:05:09,865 --> 01:05:11,200 And I was a fool to think 1334 01:05:11,284 --> 01:05:13,244 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1335 01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:16,497 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1336 01:05:18,708 --> 01:05:20,334 Inspector Lestrade, take him. 1337 01:05:20,918 --> 01:05:21,961 Go on. 1338 01:05:22,044 --> 01:05:23,546 The man is your closest friend. 1339 01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:25,631 Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 1340 01:05:25,715 --> 01:05:27,341 You have no suspects. 1341 01:05:27,592 --> 01:05:30,136 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 1342 01:05:30,219 --> 01:05:32,305 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1343 01:05:33,055 --> 01:05:34,724 - Take him. - What? 1344 01:05:38,269 --> 01:05:40,313 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1345 01:05:40,396 --> 01:05:42,196 - Do you still doubt me? - Calm down. 1346 01:05:42,898 --> 01:05:47,653 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 1347 01:05:48,654 --> 01:05:50,781 or your jars of urine. 1348 01:05:51,115 --> 01:05:52,658 Why are we even saving these? 1349 01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:57,496 And you look stupid in that hat. 1350 01:05:57,580 --> 01:06:00,666 Your head was not meant for hats. 1351 01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:05,004 Unhand me! No! 1352 01:06:05,087 --> 01:06:06,589 I'll never forget you, John. 1353 01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:10,301 Why? 1354 01:06:10,384 --> 01:06:14,472 John Watson devoted his life to you, and this is how you repay him? 1355 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:18,392 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1356 01:06:18,476 --> 01:06:20,645 At least, in America, our system's fair. 1357 01:06:21,228 --> 01:06:23,481 No citizen can be found guilty 1358 01:06:23,564 --> 01:06:27,109 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 1359 01:06:28,778 --> 01:06:31,364 Millie, surely, you must understand. 1360 01:06:40,498 --> 01:06:42,083 Fine, go! 1361 01:06:42,249 --> 01:06:44,960 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1362 01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:47,463 You're welcome for solving this case. 1363 01:06:47,672 --> 01:06:49,924 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1364 01:07:01,310 --> 01:07:03,896 Well, you've done it again, Sherlock. 1365 01:07:05,314 --> 01:07:06,816 Justice has been served. 1366 01:07:07,191 --> 01:07:09,860 And to think it was underneath your nose the whole time. 1367 01:07:10,528 --> 01:07:12,196 Watson. 1368 01:07:12,279 --> 01:07:13,698 Of course it was Watson. 1369 01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:16,951 It'll be nice to have the place to myself again. 1370 01:07:17,493 --> 01:07:21,706 Don't have to deal with his stupid medical stuff 1371 01:07:22,623 --> 01:07:26,460 or the constant badgering about being a co-detective. 1372 01:07:28,045 --> 01:07:31,549 Oh, and the incessant writing in his blasted journal. 1373 01:07:33,008 --> 01:07:35,261 "With each passing day on the case, 1374 01:07:35,344 --> 01:07:38,472 "my admiration for Sherlock grows and grows. 1375 01:07:42,685 --> 01:07:45,187 "I daresay he's more than a great detective. 1376 01:07:46,313 --> 01:07:47,606 "He's a great man. 1377 01:07:49,150 --> 01:07:50,860 "A treasure for all of London. 1378 01:07:52,445 --> 01:07:53,988 "And I shall always 1379 01:07:55,489 --> 01:07:57,408 "consider him my best friend." 1380 01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:16,886 A tear? 1381 01:08:18,429 --> 01:08:19,930 What is this tear? 1382 01:08:29,315 --> 01:08:30,775 I can't stop it. 1383 01:08:36,572 --> 01:08:39,200 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1384 01:08:45,539 --> 01:08:48,709 Why am I reeling in confusion? 1385 01:08:50,002 --> 01:08:52,880 What is this fever in my head? 1386 01:08:53,672 --> 01:08:55,049 Is it pox? 1387 01:08:55,174 --> 01:08:56,425 Maybe gout 1388 01:08:56,634 --> 01:08:59,136 I can't seem to work it out 1389 01:08:59,637 --> 01:09:01,680 And why 1390 01:09:01,972 --> 01:09:04,892 Don't I feel triumphant? 1391 01:09:05,851 --> 01:09:08,604 And why does it seem less than right 1392 01:09:08,687 --> 01:09:11,607 That Watson's going to hang tonight 1393 01:09:11,690 --> 01:09:16,320 And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1394 01:09:16,821 --> 01:09:20,449 What is this strange sensation 1395 01:09:20,533 --> 01:09:23,285 Pounding in my veins? 1396 01:09:23,452 --> 01:09:27,998 Why is fluid leaking from my eye? 1397 01:09:28,374 --> 01:09:31,335 Why do I ache with shame 1398 01:09:31,418 --> 01:09:34,588 While moaning Watson's name? 1399 01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:39,385 Wish I could deduce the reason why 1400 01:09:39,468 --> 01:09:41,846 How could I possibly deserve this? 1401 01:09:42,346 --> 01:09:44,723 How, when I've been his loyal friend? 1402 01:09:44,807 --> 01:09:46,183 Helped him work, took his side 1403 01:09:46,267 --> 01:09:47,852 Sung his praises far and wide 1404 01:09:47,935 --> 01:09:53,107 So why would he just betray me? 1405 01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:56,527 Now all those happy times with him 1406 01:09:56,610 --> 01:09:59,446 When I would go solve crimes with him 1407 01:09:59,530 --> 01:10:02,491 Are coming to a sad and lonely 1408 01:10:02,575 --> 01:10:05,369 Eyeball-popping, strangulating 1409 01:10:05,452 --> 01:10:08,873 Kicking, screaming end 1410 01:10:08,956 --> 01:10:12,585 What is this strange sensation? 1411 01:10:12,668 --> 01:10:15,296 Where did I go wrong? 1412 01:10:15,379 --> 01:10:18,507 Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 1413 01:10:18,591 --> 01:10:20,759 Soon my neck will snap in half 1414 01:10:20,843 --> 01:10:23,512 - I guess - And yet I know somehow 1415 01:10:23,596 --> 01:10:27,057 - And yet right now - If he could hear right now 1416 01:10:27,141 --> 01:10:29,518 I would still forgive him 1417 01:10:32,187 --> 01:10:35,065 More or less 1418 01:10:35,816 --> 01:10:38,611 Please, I don't know Upon whom else to call 1419 01:10:38,694 --> 01:10:41,488 Nothing is making any sense at all 1420 01:10:41,572 --> 01:10:45,034 Speak! I need your voice To hear your voice 1421 01:10:45,117 --> 01:10:48,245 So sweet, so pure, so wise 1422 01:10:52,374 --> 01:10:56,045 Sometimes the irrational 1423 01:10:56,128 --> 01:10:59,632 Is truer than the rational 1424 01:10:59,715 --> 01:11:02,927 The heart can have its reasons 1425 01:11:03,010 --> 01:11:06,847 Which the head knows nothing of 1426 01:11:07,306 --> 01:11:10,225 Your brain says Watson's guilty 1427 01:11:10,309 --> 01:11:14,396 But a stronger force says "No, he's not" 1428 01:11:14,480 --> 01:11:16,190 What is that force? 1429 01:11:16,273 --> 01:11:18,192 - It's... It's... - Yes? What? 1430 01:11:18,275 --> 01:11:21,654 - It's love... - Love? 1431 01:11:21,862 --> 01:11:25,658 - It's love - It's love 1432 01:11:25,741 --> 01:11:27,785 - It's love - It's love 1433 01:11:27,868 --> 01:11:30,245 - It's love - It's love 1434 01:11:30,746 --> 01:11:31,872 My God. 1435 01:11:32,247 --> 01:11:33,791 Did I push Watson away 1436 01:11:33,874 --> 01:11:36,210 because I feared losing him to Grace? 1437 01:11:36,710 --> 01:11:38,837 Somehow, I know in my heart 1438 01:11:38,921 --> 01:11:41,340 in a way my brain can never know, 1439 01:11:41,632 --> 01:11:43,467 even a brain like mine, 1440 01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,680 Watson is innocent! 1441 01:11:48,180 --> 01:11:52,059 - Time to go and save - Come save me now 1442 01:11:52,142 --> 01:11:58,774 - The man I love - The man I love 1443 01:12:01,193 --> 01:12:02,194 Watson! 1444 01:12:02,277 --> 01:12:05,698 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1445 01:12:05,906 --> 01:12:07,992 Hang! Hang! Hang! 1446 01:12:12,371 --> 01:12:13,580 Oh, God. 1447 01:12:14,415 --> 01:12:16,415 Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 1448 01:12:16,709 --> 01:12:18,544 The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1449 01:12:19,253 --> 01:12:20,254 Sherlock. 1450 01:12:21,797 --> 01:12:22,881 Oh. 1451 01:12:23,173 --> 01:12:24,299 It's you. 1452 01:12:25,426 --> 01:12:26,844 You've brought cake. 1453 01:12:34,268 --> 01:12:36,437 Watson! My brother! 1454 01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:38,147 Watson, where are you? 1455 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:39,648 Where... 1456 01:12:39,773 --> 01:12:41,025 I'm too late. 1457 01:12:46,196 --> 01:12:47,364 Clever. 1458 01:12:47,781 --> 01:12:51,160 Very, very clever. 1459 01:12:57,291 --> 01:12:59,043 You were always so clever, 1460 01:12:59,835 --> 01:13:01,336 and I never appreciated it. 1461 01:13:03,005 --> 01:13:05,090 But it's not too late to make amends. 1462 01:13:05,174 --> 01:13:06,383 Watson! 1463 01:13:06,467 --> 01:13:08,844 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1464 01:13:14,391 --> 01:13:15,809 Ah! Grimy news kids. 1465 01:13:16,060 --> 01:13:17,644 I desperately need your help. 1466 01:13:17,895 --> 01:13:19,646 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1467 01:13:19,730 --> 01:13:21,231 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1468 01:13:21,315 --> 01:13:22,775 Because of you, you wank! 1469 01:13:22,858 --> 01:13:23,942 I know. 1470 01:13:24,068 --> 01:13:25,694 But I know of a way to save him. 1471 01:13:25,861 --> 01:13:27,905 Please, please help me. 1472 01:13:28,155 --> 01:13:30,699 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1473 01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:37,998 "Moriarty's daughter did the one thing Moriarty never could. 1474 01:13:38,082 --> 01:13:41,752 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 1475 01:13:42,753 --> 01:13:45,297 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1476 01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:49,134 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 1477 01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:53,013 "was a fraud." 1478 01:13:56,683 --> 01:13:57,935 It is done. 1479 01:13:58,352 --> 01:14:01,105 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1480 01:14:01,438 --> 01:14:05,400 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 1481 01:14:06,235 --> 01:14:08,862 The Case of the Defeated Detective. 1482 01:14:09,279 --> 01:14:11,698 Daddy will be so proud. 1483 01:14:12,491 --> 01:14:13,992 Sherlock will be remembered 1484 01:14:14,076 --> 01:14:16,870 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 1485 01:14:17,079 --> 01:14:18,747 History shall be rewritten 1486 01:14:18,831 --> 01:14:22,459 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 1487 01:14:23,252 --> 01:14:24,753 I've done your bidding. 1488 01:14:25,212 --> 01:14:26,630 Now set me free. 1489 01:14:27,506 --> 01:14:29,299 You're gonna die here. 1490 01:14:29,967 --> 01:14:31,426 You gave me your word. 1491 01:14:31,510 --> 01:14:32,928 You swore on the life of the Queen. 1492 01:14:33,011 --> 01:14:36,473 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1493 01:14:36,849 --> 01:14:38,609 - Mrs. Hudson is the killer? - Mmm-hmm. 1494 01:14:38,809 --> 01:14:39,935 Gorblimey! 1495 01:14:40,018 --> 01:14:41,395 How'd you work that out? 1496 01:14:41,478 --> 01:14:43,438 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1497 01:14:43,772 --> 01:14:45,983 You see, beet sugar. 1498 01:14:46,316 --> 01:14:49,069 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 1499 01:14:49,153 --> 01:14:50,696 He never would have left crumbs behind 1500 01:14:50,779 --> 01:14:52,239 unless he was leaving me a clue. 1501 01:14:52,614 --> 01:14:55,701 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1502 01:14:56,076 --> 01:14:59,746 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 1503 01:14:59,830 --> 01:15:01,290 No, it ain't possible. 1504 01:15:01,373 --> 01:15:04,334 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1505 01:15:04,626 --> 01:15:06,003 He was never present. 1506 01:15:06,211 --> 01:15:09,756 To gain his love, she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1507 01:15:09,923 --> 01:15:12,551 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1508 01:15:12,926 --> 01:15:16,263 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1509 01:15:16,346 --> 01:15:19,474 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 1510 01:15:19,683 --> 01:15:22,519 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1511 01:15:22,603 --> 01:15:24,313 that I understood her motive, 1512 01:15:24,605 --> 01:15:26,815 her need for her father's love. 1513 01:15:27,399 --> 01:15:30,319 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 1514 01:15:30,569 --> 01:15:31,695 me. 1515 01:15:31,862 --> 01:15:35,866 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1516 01:15:36,325 --> 01:15:39,203 killing the Queen here! 1517 01:15:39,870 --> 01:15:41,288 The Titanic. 1518 01:15:41,705 --> 01:15:43,207 The marvel of London. 1519 01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:46,543 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1520 01:15:47,711 --> 01:15:50,297 Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 1521 01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:51,460 Lieutenant. 1522 01:15:52,132 --> 01:15:53,842 First Officer Carter. 1523 01:15:54,509 --> 01:15:56,511 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 1524 01:15:57,054 --> 01:15:59,056 Look, Hudson's goons. 1525 01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:02,601 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1526 01:16:02,851 --> 01:16:04,019 We'll take care of this lot. 1527 01:16:04,102 --> 01:16:05,729 Come on, you tom tit! 1528 01:16:05,812 --> 01:16:07,814 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1529 01:16:09,399 --> 01:16:11,068 Is there a problem, boys? 1530 01:16:11,193 --> 01:16:13,487 Think we can take them, lads. Aye? 1531 01:16:13,820 --> 01:16:15,906 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1532 01:16:15,989 --> 01:16:18,533 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 1533 01:16:18,617 --> 01:16:20,035 American ladies. 1534 01:16:24,998 --> 01:16:26,250 Not my eyes! 1535 01:16:31,129 --> 01:16:33,715 I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1536 01:16:33,799 --> 01:16:36,426 I'm gonna crush your head. 1537 01:16:36,510 --> 01:16:39,346 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1538 01:16:39,429 --> 01:16:41,932 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1539 01:16:42,015 --> 01:16:43,175 I know you're threatening me, 1540 01:16:43,225 --> 01:16:45,143 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1541 01:16:45,936 --> 01:16:48,355 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1542 01:16:48,438 --> 01:16:51,942 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 1543 01:16:52,234 --> 01:16:53,610 Sherlock will save me. 1544 01:16:53,694 --> 01:16:55,279 - You'll see. - I'll see. 1545 01:16:55,612 --> 01:16:57,072 He won't let me down. 1546 01:16:57,447 --> 01:16:59,658 He won't. He's my best friend! 1547 01:17:01,201 --> 01:17:02,411 Dollface! 1548 01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:08,287 Come on, boys. 1549 01:17:08,333 --> 01:17:11,086 - The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. - Sherlock! 1550 01:17:11,753 --> 01:17:13,755 Sherlock! 1551 01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:16,550 Help! Help! 1552 01:17:16,633 --> 01:17:18,302 Sherlock! 1553 01:17:18,927 --> 01:17:20,262 Help! 1554 01:17:21,722 --> 01:17:22,806 Watson! 1555 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:29,062 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1556 01:17:29,146 --> 01:17:31,356 - Watson! - Oh, Sherlock. 1557 01:17:31,565 --> 01:17:33,275 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1558 01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:35,485 Watson, good news. 1559 01:17:35,652 --> 01:17:36,945 You're innocent. 1560 01:17:37,863 --> 01:17:39,614 Yes. I know. 1561 01:17:39,698 --> 01:17:41,241 - Oh. - Thank you. 1562 01:17:41,908 --> 01:17:43,744 - Can you forgive me? - Of course. 1563 01:17:43,827 --> 01:17:46,330 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 1564 01:17:46,413 --> 01:17:47,956 before it crushes my skull. 1565 01:17:48,248 --> 01:17:49,791 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1566 01:17:49,875 --> 01:17:52,377 I won't leave you. Not again. 1567 01:17:52,461 --> 01:17:54,755 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 1568 01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:56,506 to free me from this gear right now. 1569 01:17:56,882 --> 01:17:59,009 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1570 01:17:59,468 --> 01:18:01,148 - Pull yourself together. - Okay. 1571 01:18:01,178 --> 01:18:02,262 Stop crying. 1572 01:18:02,346 --> 01:18:04,786 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 1573 01:18:04,848 --> 01:18:06,641 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1574 01:18:06,725 --> 01:18:08,518 A time bomb, you see? 1575 01:18:08,602 --> 01:18:10,645 - You must free me. - Do you feel my heart ticking? 1576 01:18:10,729 --> 01:18:12,329 Get me off this fucking wheel! 1577 01:18:12,731 --> 01:18:15,359 All my dreams are coming true. 1578 01:18:15,442 --> 01:18:19,571 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 1579 01:18:19,821 --> 01:18:21,990 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1580 01:18:22,074 --> 01:18:25,494 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1581 01:18:25,577 --> 01:18:28,997 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 1582 01:18:31,083 --> 01:18:32,292 Father, 1583 01:18:32,834 --> 01:18:35,128 soon, we shall be together again. 1584 01:18:35,587 --> 01:18:37,964 - In America! - Yeah! 1585 01:18:45,514 --> 01:18:48,141 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1586 01:18:48,266 --> 01:18:49,976 Where could it possibly be? 1587 01:18:51,395 --> 01:18:52,562 Wait. 1588 01:18:52,813 --> 01:18:54,523 That kettle drum. 1589 01:18:54,731 --> 01:18:57,776 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1590 01:18:57,859 --> 01:18:59,319 never in a Marine band. 1591 01:18:59,945 --> 01:19:01,071 Perhaps... 1592 01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:03,824 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1593 01:19:03,907 --> 01:19:05,617 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 1594 01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:07,077 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1595 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,995 But how to defuse it in time? 1596 01:19:10,372 --> 01:19:13,959 Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 1597 01:19:14,167 --> 01:19:17,629 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 17 feet. 1598 01:19:17,712 --> 01:19:20,799 Time required to move queen to safety, 12 seconds. 1599 01:19:20,882 --> 01:19:22,717 Solution, move through crowd, 1600 01:19:22,801 --> 01:19:25,929 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 1601 01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:27,097 No. 1602 01:19:31,101 --> 01:19:32,978 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 1603 01:19:33,061 --> 01:19:35,522 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 1604 01:19:35,605 --> 01:19:37,524 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1605 01:19:37,607 --> 01:19:38,859 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1606 01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:45,782 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1607 01:19:45,866 --> 01:19:47,159 I'm doing it. 1608 01:19:47,242 --> 01:19:49,828 I'm communicating without words. 1609 01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:52,497 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1610 01:19:52,581 --> 01:19:54,499 and I kept getting off track. 1611 01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:57,127 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1612 01:19:57,210 --> 01:19:58,837 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1613 01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:01,465 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 1614 01:20:01,631 --> 01:20:03,175 You have to take control. 1615 01:20:03,341 --> 01:20:05,385 You must be detective for both of us. 1616 01:20:05,552 --> 01:20:06,678 Right. 1617 01:20:08,221 --> 01:20:09,598 I know what I must do. 1618 01:20:09,764 --> 01:20:11,433 Estimated blast radius, 1619 01:20:11,766 --> 01:20:13,560 20... No, 30 feet? 1620 01:20:13,643 --> 01:20:14,763 Account for ship's movement. 1621 01:20:14,811 --> 01:20:16,688 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 1622 01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:18,565 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1623 01:20:18,648 --> 01:20:20,525 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 1624 01:20:20,609 --> 01:20:22,319 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 1625 01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:25,089 Oh, I don't know how to do angles. Should have listened more in school. 1626 01:20:25,113 --> 01:20:26,698 Oh, screw it. Charge! 1627 01:20:28,617 --> 01:20:29,868 Out of my way! 1628 01:20:30,035 --> 01:20:31,203 Move! 1629 01:20:31,703 --> 01:20:34,164 Nine, eight... 1630 01:20:34,372 --> 01:20:35,540 Coming through! 1631 01:20:35,874 --> 01:20:37,626 - So sorry! - Seven... 1632 01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:39,836 Come on. 1633 01:20:39,961 --> 01:20:41,379 Move your tuchis! 1634 01:20:41,505 --> 01:20:42,785 Sorry, friend! 1635 01:20:44,508 --> 01:20:45,592 Five, 1636 01:20:46,426 --> 01:20:47,511 four... 1637 01:20:50,472 --> 01:20:51,681 two... 1638 01:20:56,561 --> 01:20:57,687 Aw, shit! 1639 01:21:03,527 --> 01:21:04,694 Huzzah. 1640 01:21:04,903 --> 01:21:06,905 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1641 01:21:06,988 --> 01:21:09,616 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 1642 01:21:10,534 --> 01:21:12,702 - Huzzah! - Hurrah for Sherlock! 1643 01:21:12,786 --> 01:21:13,787 Bravo, Sherlock! 1644 01:21:13,870 --> 01:21:15,956 Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1645 01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:17,415 Hip hip hooray! 1646 01:21:18,166 --> 01:21:20,043 Thank you. Thank you. 1647 01:21:21,086 --> 01:21:23,880 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1648 01:21:23,964 --> 01:21:28,260 - Oh, no. - Let Watson's name be forever associated 1649 01:21:28,343 --> 01:21:29,594 with the Titanic. 1650 01:21:30,011 --> 01:21:34,516 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 1651 01:21:34,599 --> 01:21:36,142 just remember, 1652 01:21:36,226 --> 01:21:40,772 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 1653 01:21:40,897 --> 01:21:42,875 Hooray for Watson! 1654 01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:44,401 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 1655 01:21:46,236 --> 01:21:47,779 Dr. Watson, 1656 01:21:48,530 --> 01:21:49,864 you saved us. 1657 01:21:50,323 --> 01:21:51,408 Thank you. 1658 01:21:52,033 --> 01:21:54,411 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 1659 01:22:11,011 --> 01:22:12,304 No, Millie. 1660 01:22:22,981 --> 01:22:24,482 I have a confession to make. 1661 01:22:25,108 --> 01:22:27,360 I'm not actually in love with you. 1662 01:22:27,777 --> 01:22:29,946 In order to conclude my investigation, 1663 01:22:30,030 --> 01:22:33,158 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1664 01:22:33,617 --> 01:22:35,076 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1665 01:22:36,202 --> 01:22:37,704 I have a confession as well. 1666 01:22:37,912 --> 01:22:39,414 I was also not in love. 1667 01:22:39,539 --> 01:22:40,999 I was conducting an experiment 1668 01:22:41,082 --> 01:22:43,168 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1669 01:22:44,002 --> 01:22:46,546 - What? - I'm sorry I led you on. 1670 01:22:47,213 --> 01:22:49,549 Well, I have another confession. 1671 01:22:49,633 --> 01:22:52,218 - Hmm. - I was just pretending to have a big ego 1672 01:22:52,302 --> 01:22:55,013 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1673 01:22:55,096 --> 01:22:57,182 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1674 01:22:57,265 --> 01:22:58,767 Well, I had to lead you on 1675 01:22:58,850 --> 01:23:01,561 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 1676 01:23:01,645 --> 01:23:03,623 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1677 01:23:03,647 --> 01:23:05,482 Well, I have another confession to make. 1678 01:23:17,118 --> 01:23:20,205 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1679 01:23:20,914 --> 01:23:23,375 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1680 01:23:23,458 --> 01:23:24,698 Yes, indeed. 1681 01:23:24,834 --> 01:23:26,503 All aboard! 1682 01:23:26,670 --> 01:23:29,214 She sails in 20 minutes! 1683 01:23:29,297 --> 01:23:31,174 Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1684 01:23:31,257 --> 01:23:33,843 Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1685 01:23:33,927 --> 01:23:35,095 Goodbye. 1686 01:23:35,345 --> 01:23:36,513 Farewell, Grace. 1687 01:23:36,846 --> 01:23:37,847 Goodbye, Millie. 1688 01:23:37,931 --> 01:23:40,308 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1689 01:23:40,642 --> 01:23:42,268 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1690 01:23:42,352 --> 01:23:43,353 I hope so. 1691 01:23:43,436 --> 01:23:45,063 From... From the kissing? 1692 01:23:46,606 --> 01:23:48,316 - Yes. - Oh, yes. 1693 01:23:49,693 --> 01:23:51,319 What a grand ship. 1694 01:23:51,403 --> 01:23:52,404 Yes. 1695 01:23:52,487 --> 01:23:54,531 Watson, look. 1696 01:23:55,699 --> 01:23:56,991 It's Billy Zane. 1697 01:23:57,951 --> 01:23:59,035 Sherlock. 1698 01:24:00,704 --> 01:24:02,747 Wow. He's breathtaking. 1699 01:24:03,832 --> 01:24:05,208 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1700 01:24:10,255 --> 01:24:11,548 - Holmes. - Mmm. 1701 01:24:12,090 --> 01:24:14,342 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1702 01:24:14,426 --> 01:24:16,594 which has baffled you all these years. 1703 01:24:17,762 --> 01:24:18,930 What? 1704 01:24:22,642 --> 01:24:23,768 Would you mind? 1705 01:24:26,062 --> 01:24:27,272 Ah. 1706 01:24:27,355 --> 01:24:28,481 Do you like it? 1707 01:24:28,606 --> 01:24:30,650 Let's see here. Huh? 1708 01:24:31,067 --> 01:24:32,652 - Oh, it suits you. - Mmm. 1709 01:24:33,111 --> 01:24:35,321 - I think it's perfect. - Really? 1710 01:24:35,613 --> 01:24:38,616 - You're not just saying that? - No, I'm not just saying it. 1711 01:24:39,117 --> 01:24:40,785 - Good. - Thank you, Watson. 1712 01:24:41,286 --> 01:24:43,079 And I have something for you as well. 1713 01:24:43,163 --> 01:24:45,540 - No. No. - Please. Step over here. 1714 01:24:45,623 --> 01:24:48,209 Why? I don't deserve anything. 1715 01:24:49,878 --> 01:24:50,879 My dear Watson. 1716 01:24:51,796 --> 01:24:53,047 What do you think? 1717 01:24:53,590 --> 01:24:55,008 It's beautiful. 1718 01:25:22,786 --> 01:25:25,288 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 1719 01:25:27,749 --> 01:25:28,750 Professor? 1720 01:25:36,216 --> 01:25:37,967 Boy, who sent this?