1
00:00:05,146 --> 00:00:20,146


2
00:01:07,147 --> 00:01:08,857
Lookie here.

3
00:01:08,941 --> 00:01:11,569
My day is made.

4
00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:15,614
I didn't even finish breakfast
and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun.

5
00:01:17,032 --> 00:01:18,033
Injun?

6
00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:20,535
Nah.

7
00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:24,247
I just dress like this so's I don't get
scalped out on the prairie.

8
00:01:24,331 --> 00:01:27,375
Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit.

9
00:01:27,459 --> 00:01:30,838
Yeah, you can't be too safe out there...

10
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:33,465
with all of them savages runnin' around.

11
00:01:33,548 --> 00:01:35,342
So, what can I do you for?

12
00:01:35,425 --> 00:01:38,637
Need some flour.
Five sacks.

13
00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:41,974
And a carrot with peanut butter on it.

14
00:01:42,057 --> 00:01:43,559
Now, what's that gonna run me?

15
00:01:43,642 --> 00:01:46,562
Well, sack of flour's 45 cents.

16
00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:48,897
So, five sacks...

17
00:01:50,649 --> 00:01:51,942
is 40...

18
00:01:52,025 --> 00:01:53,736
Wanna get back to me on that?

19
00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:55,779
Yeah, look...

20
00:01:55,863 --> 00:01:57,489
Now, the flour's in the basement.

21
00:01:57,573 --> 00:01:59,783
You can fetch it yourself.

22
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:00,909
Much obliged.

23
00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:21,889
Well, lookie what we got here.

24
00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:26,226
Sweet piece of red prairie meat
out all by her lonesome.

25
00:02:27,144 --> 00:02:30,939
- What do you make of that, Nelly?
- Oh, I think she's waiting on you, Will.

26
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,528
- Go on, get on it.
- It's on now.

27
00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:37,905
- Yeah.
- Go get her, Will.

28
00:02:37,988 --> 00:02:38,989
Oh, oh, oh.

29
00:02:39,072 --> 00:02:40,323
Here we go.

30
00:02:41,366 --> 00:02:46,664
Now, you must be wondering why five badass
<i>hombres</i> with perfect jawlines...

31
00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:52,878
all sport the same stylish eye patch.

32
00:02:52,961 --> 00:02:54,922
Not my business.

33
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:59,467
We all carved our eyeballs
out our skull

34
00:02:59,551 --> 00:03:03,013
to show how devoted
we are to this gang.

35
00:03:03,096 --> 00:03:04,347
We the Left-Eye Boys!

36
00:03:06,474 --> 00:03:07,976
Yeah!

37
00:03:09,477 --> 00:03:10,645
Hey!

38
00:03:10,729 --> 00:03:13,523
You got real pretty eyes, miss.

39
00:03:13,606 --> 00:03:15,734
You reckon we can,
I don't know, borrow one?

40
00:03:15,818 --> 00:03:17,820
Can we borrow one?

41
00:03:22,908 --> 00:03:25,660
Now, is that a proper question
to ask a lady?

42
00:03:25,744 --> 00:03:28,789
Who are you, slick?
The boyfriend?

43
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:32,084
Soon to be the husband.

44
00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:37,422
Oh, wait a minute!
That's a white boy under that getup.

45
00:03:37,505 --> 00:03:40,300
That's a white boy? Oh, shit.

46
00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:43,595
You partial to pale faces, Poca-hot-tits?

47
00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:44,680
Huh?

48
00:03:44,763 --> 00:03:47,224
'Cause I can show you
what a real white man's like.

49
00:03:47,307 --> 00:03:50,686
- Yeah, show her, Will. Yeah, go on.
- Yeah, shuffle up, Will.

50
00:03:50,769 --> 00:03:52,187
- Dance now, boy.
- Shuffle on over.

51
00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:54,940
- There you go.
- That's some white boy shit right there.

52
00:03:55,023 --> 00:03:56,775
Now, I do want to carve my eyes out.

53
00:03:56,859 --> 00:03:58,401
- What'd you say?
- Hey, fellers...

54
00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:01,446
I'd hit the trail before you get hurt.

55
00:04:02,155 --> 00:04:04,324
Before we get hurt?

56
00:04:04,407 --> 00:04:06,994
Before we get hurt.

57
00:04:07,077 --> 00:04:11,039
I think you've been smokin' too much
of that peace pipe, kemo-slobby.

58
00:04:11,123 --> 00:04:14,584
Now, from what I see, there's one of you,

59
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:17,004
and there's five of us.

60
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:23,844
Four of you.

61
00:04:24,636 --> 00:04:25,678
What just happened?

62
00:04:25,763 --> 00:04:27,055
You wanna see it again?

63
00:04:27,139 --> 00:04:29,892
Uh... yes.

64
00:04:40,986 --> 00:04:43,280
- I don't like this shit.
- Shut up.

65
00:04:44,072 --> 00:04:47,492
Well, that's some, uh...
real fancy footwork.

66
00:04:48,201 --> 00:04:52,330
But I think this hullabaloo has escalated
to the firearms stage.

67
00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:03,675
Boys, let's ventilate this.

68
00:05:25,697 --> 00:05:28,450
What the shit that just happened?

69
00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:40,253
What the hell?
What in the hell?

70
00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:46,844
"Hit the trail."
It was so simple.

71
00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:51,389
You must stop doing this, White Knife.
One day, there will be too many.

72
00:05:51,473 --> 00:05:53,600
But not today, Smoking Fox.

73
00:05:53,683 --> 00:05:56,603
Please, my love...
we must go.

74
00:05:57,187 --> 00:05:59,397
What the hell
happened out here?

75
00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:01,691
Injuns.
They went that way.

76
00:06:01,774 --> 00:06:03,401
You ain't no white man.

77
00:06:03,485 --> 00:06:06,696
You're that orphan, White Knife.

78
00:06:06,779 --> 00:06:10,408
Raised like an animal with those Apaches.

79
00:06:10,492 --> 00:06:12,577
You think you can fool ol' Clem?

80
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:13,786
Sorry, Ringo.

81
00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:17,832
Well, now I'm gonna shoot you
and your Injun whore.

82
00:06:17,916 --> 00:06:19,084
Gotta cut breakfast short.

83
00:06:24,214 --> 00:06:26,549
You suck, mister!

84
00:06:27,342 --> 00:06:29,344
You suck!

85
00:06:31,889 --> 00:06:34,224
What are you?

86
00:06:56,955 --> 00:06:58,415
Yes, White Knife.

87
00:06:58,498 --> 00:06:59,749
Go, White Knife.

88
00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,173
Yay!

89
00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:07,883
You lucky, Smoking Fox.

90
00:07:07,966 --> 00:07:11,053
White Knife all man.
Bravest of all braves.

91
00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:14,472
Not brave. Foolish.

92
00:07:14,556 --> 00:07:16,934
I want to be wife, not widow.

93
00:07:21,813 --> 00:07:23,065
Afternoon, ladies.

94
00:07:29,404 --> 00:07:30,822
This is Apache land.

95
00:07:30,906 --> 00:07:33,616
I'm not here to take your land, Chief.

96
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,619
I'm just looking for a particular boy.

97
00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:39,497
I'm Frank Stockburn.

98
00:07:40,748 --> 00:07:42,292
This boy's mother was my wife.

99
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,253
And the boy, Tommy...

100
00:07:46,338 --> 00:07:47,839
he's my son.

101
00:08:02,395 --> 00:08:05,148
It is wise to be slow to trust,
White Knife.

102
00:08:05,232 --> 00:08:08,568
But every new journey begins
with a single step.

103
00:08:09,652 --> 00:08:11,404
Speak with your father.

104
00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:14,574
But you are my father,
Screaming Eagle.

105
00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:16,952
Ever since my mother...

106
00:08:18,495 --> 00:08:20,998
Ever since you found me...

107
00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:23,333
you taught me to hunt,
to fight...

108
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:26,544
when to speak and when to be silent.

109
00:08:26,628 --> 00:08:28,838
- To be a man.
- A good man.

110
00:08:28,921 --> 00:08:30,548
And this Frank Stockburn,

111
00:08:30,632 --> 00:08:34,094
he is filled with lies,
just like every other white man.

112
00:08:34,594 --> 00:08:37,889
Sometimes, the white man speaks the truth.

113
00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:40,683
Like, one in 20, 25 times.

114
00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:44,479
I believe this is one of those times.

115
00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:47,983
He knew your mother, White Knife.

116
00:08:48,066 --> 00:08:51,944
Maybe he can give you some peace.
Talk to him.

117
00:08:52,029 --> 00:08:54,614
Maybe after I close my eyes to dream.

118
00:09:16,803 --> 00:09:19,556
Mommy!

119
00:09:45,748 --> 00:09:47,125
Oh, no.

120
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:58,178
One look at me, and you knew your old man
had done a lot of bad things, didn't ya?

121
00:09:58,261 --> 00:10:01,723
I cheated men, I killed men...

122
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:06,144
So I deserve whatever's comin' to me.

123
00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:11,816
The only one that ever saw any good in me
was your mother.

124
00:10:15,528 --> 00:10:16,571
Oh!

125
00:10:16,654 --> 00:10:18,156
Why have you come here?

126
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:22,369
Not a man for chitchat, huh?

127
00:10:23,411 --> 00:10:25,538
Well, me neither.

128
00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:29,041
Kid, I'm dying...

129
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:31,628
of consumption.

130
00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:37,425
Don't worry...

131
00:10:37,509 --> 00:10:42,639
I'm not looking
for no big father-son hoo-ah.

132
00:10:43,223 --> 00:10:44,224
"I love you, son."

133
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,017
"I love you too, Daddy."

134
00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:52,940
No.

135
00:10:54,817 --> 00:10:58,821
I've come for a more tangible reason.

136
00:11:03,075 --> 00:11:08,373
Tommy, I've been stealing from folks
since I was nine years old...

137
00:11:09,249 --> 00:11:14,587
and that's the way I've amassed
a good little fortune.

138
00:11:15,046 --> 00:11:18,300
I wanna do something
decent with it.

139
00:11:20,051 --> 00:11:22,220
I want to give it to you, son.

140
00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,476
I don't want your money.

141
00:11:29,936 --> 00:11:32,146
But maybe you could give...

142
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:36,609
$50,000 to these nice Injuns
who raised you.

143
00:11:36,693 --> 00:11:37,902
We'll take it.

144
00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:40,154
Go back to bed.

145
00:11:40,697 --> 00:11:41,781
Sorry.

146
00:11:41,864 --> 00:11:43,658
Seriously, though,
we'll take it.

147
00:11:43,741 --> 00:11:47,204
Look, it's buried in the meadow
just up the trail,

148
00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:49,372
next to a big ol' pine tree.

149
00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:51,833
What do you say
we go dig it up in the morning

150
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,919
and start playing Santa Claus?

151
00:11:56,087 --> 00:11:58,673
I don't remember much about my mother...

152
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:02,219
but I do remember her telling me...

153
00:12:04,262 --> 00:12:05,638
you were dead.

154
00:12:10,852 --> 00:12:13,438
Maybe it was because...

155
00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:16,858
she didn't want
you to come looking for me.

156
00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:19,026
She was a smart lady.

157
00:12:20,194 --> 00:12:24,156
Only stupid thing she ever did
was fall for me.

158
00:12:24,949 --> 00:12:26,784
Meeting Betty Dunson...

159
00:12:27,452 --> 00:12:30,663
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.

160
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:37,086
From the first day I laid eyes on her...

161
00:12:37,754 --> 00:12:40,006
she was bawlin' out this...

162
00:12:40,089 --> 00:12:45,011
half-drunk, big ol' burly blacksmith...

163
00:12:45,094 --> 00:12:47,639
down at Silver Canyon.

164
00:12:48,473 --> 00:12:50,808
She's been the only one, Tommy.

165
00:12:57,982 --> 00:12:59,526
Mom had a temper?

166
00:13:00,443 --> 00:13:05,573
Temper?
When she got her dander up, look out.

167
00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:07,492
We was in a saloon once.

168
00:13:07,575 --> 00:13:09,744
This fellow sitting next to her

169
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:14,832
starts talking about the perfect way
to make a cherry pie...

170
00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:19,712
So your mom says to me,
"Frank, come here a minute.

171
00:13:19,796 --> 00:13:23,550
Tell me again,
just where did you get them flowers?"

172
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:27,679
I said, "I know that you think
I stole them from the graveyard."

173
00:13:29,514 --> 00:13:31,516
Good morning, boys.

174
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:34,018
Morning, Never Wears Bra.

175
00:13:34,101 --> 00:13:36,938
I had dream about you last night,
White Knife.

176
00:13:37,021 --> 00:13:38,856
Oh, that's nice.

177
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,191
Not nice dream.

178
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:43,403
In dream, you naughty.

179
00:13:43,486 --> 00:13:45,613
You naughty, White Knife.

180
00:13:45,697 --> 00:13:47,949
Mmm, somebody's got an admirer.

181
00:13:48,032 --> 00:13:50,076
Yes, yes.

182
00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:53,162
But like you,
there's only one woman for me.

183
00:13:57,625 --> 00:14:00,337
I guess we Stockburns are...

184
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,171
partial to the sweet ones.

185
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:03,631
Yes, sir.

186
00:14:03,715 --> 00:14:05,508
Like your mother.

187
00:14:07,844 --> 00:14:10,304
How did she die, Tommy?

188
00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:12,682
You tell me?

189
00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:19,731
Well, there were these big kids at school
fixin' to beat me up.

190
00:14:21,358 --> 00:14:25,778
Instead of facing them myself,
I had her walk me there.

191
00:14:26,654 --> 00:14:28,865
This feller comes out of nowhere...

192
00:14:29,741 --> 00:14:32,577
walks right up to her and shoots her dead.

193
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:37,624
So that's how she died,
protecting her gutless son

194
00:14:37,707 --> 00:14:41,794
instead of being home,
safe where she belonged.

195
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:50,094
Who's that?
Is that Bony Express?

196
00:14:50,762 --> 00:14:53,055
Bony Express
don't come around here.

197
00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:56,643
Giddyap!

198
00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:11,073
He's here somewhere, boys.

199
00:15:11,157 --> 00:15:12,367
Let's burn him out!

200
00:15:13,951 --> 00:15:14,994
Oh...

201
00:15:15,077 --> 00:15:16,996
Next one goes through your forehead.

202
00:15:17,872 --> 00:15:20,833
Hey, hey!
No need to burn nothing, boys!

203
00:15:20,917 --> 00:15:22,919
Howdy, boss.

204
00:15:23,002 --> 00:15:24,128
Cicero...

205
00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:29,133
you're not gonna let a man
enjoy his retirement, are ya?

206
00:15:29,216 --> 00:15:33,763
No, Frank, I salute your decision
to turn from your sinful ways.

207
00:15:33,846 --> 00:15:35,598
But the money...

208
00:15:35,682 --> 00:15:37,392
that belongs to all of us.

209
00:15:37,475 --> 00:15:38,810
Touch that steel, boy,

210
00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:42,063
I got plenty of bullets left over
after I put one in...

211
00:15:45,024 --> 00:15:46,025
your father.

212
00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:50,988
Oh, you finally found your long lost son.

213
00:15:51,072 --> 00:15:54,409
Well, I sure hate to break up
this nice family reunion.

214
00:15:54,492 --> 00:15:57,787
So, why don't you give us
the money you stole

215
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:00,665
before I put lead in your head.

216
00:16:06,754 --> 00:16:07,964
The money's buried.

217
00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:10,257
Way to run your mouth, son.

218
00:16:10,341 --> 00:16:11,759
It's buried?

219
00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,595
Yeah, I buried it.

220
00:16:13,678 --> 00:16:17,181
Deep in the ground...
next to a windmill.

221
00:16:17,264 --> 00:16:19,559
A windmill in the West...

222
00:16:19,642 --> 00:16:21,769
doesn't narrow it down much, Frank.

223
00:16:21,853 --> 00:16:24,230
Well, this is a special windmill.

224
00:16:25,314 --> 00:16:27,024
It's a singing windmill.

225
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:30,402
A singing windmill!

226
00:16:32,989 --> 00:16:35,700
It's about a ten-day ride from here.

227
00:16:35,783 --> 00:16:38,828
I'll lead you to it presently
on one condition.

228
00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,247
You don't hurt my boy...

229
00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:44,751
or any of these kindly Injuns here.

230
00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:47,879
Let's ride, Frank.

231
00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:03,435
Frank, if that $50,000
isn't under that windmill,

232
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,229
I'm gonna bury you up to your neck

233
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:07,899
and let the desert critters eat you alive.

234
00:17:07,982 --> 00:17:10,359
It's there, Cicero, it's there.

235
00:17:10,442 --> 00:17:14,155
I'm glad I got to meet Betty Dunson's son.

236
00:17:15,031 --> 00:17:17,324
You just stay here, Tommy.

237
00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:19,744
Enjoy your life
with your beautiful bride...

238
00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:24,874
amongst these majestic pine trees.

239
00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:28,210
Let's go!

240
00:17:49,148 --> 00:17:51,609
Well, that was uncool.

241
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:04,080
White Knife, you must rest.

242
00:18:04,163 --> 00:18:05,623
How can I rest?

243
00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:09,376
When they get to the singing windmill
and find no money, they will kill him.

244
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:13,756
My son, there are too many trees
and too little time.

245
00:18:14,924 --> 00:18:18,427
Then I must get this $50,000 another way.

246
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:22,431
How? By stealing?
There is no honor in that.

247
00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:27,854
Unless I steal from those
who have no honor.

248
00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:31,148
Ooh... I like that.

249
00:18:31,232 --> 00:18:33,150
But it is too dangerous.

250
00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:35,695
I will send ten of our
strongest braves with you.

251
00:18:35,778 --> 00:18:37,113
No.

252
00:18:37,196 --> 00:18:40,241
The braves would be treated too cruelly
in the white man's world.

253
00:18:40,324 --> 00:18:42,534
A lot of them can pass for pale face.

254
00:18:42,619 --> 00:18:45,830
Raging Bear can actually do
a great impression of a white guy.

255
00:18:46,497 --> 00:18:49,876
Hey, guys, let's play with our chest hair
and eat potato chips.

256
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:55,381
Wasn't that great?
Where does he come up with this stuff?

257
00:18:55,464 --> 00:18:59,218
That's very good, Bear,
but I must walk this path alone.

258
00:19:00,511 --> 00:19:04,140
My love...
I will get this money...

259
00:19:04,223 --> 00:19:06,517
bring it to the singing windmill,

260
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:08,686
and be back in time for our wedding.

261
00:19:09,145 --> 00:19:10,647
I won't let you go.

262
00:19:11,606 --> 00:19:12,899
Those men are killers.

263
00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:17,278
I was a coward once
and my mother paid the price.

264
00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:21,616
That will not happen to my father.

265
00:19:39,425 --> 00:19:40,426
Whoa!

266
00:19:40,509 --> 00:19:42,679
Good morning.

267
00:19:42,762 --> 00:19:44,596
Where in the hell did you come from?

268
00:19:44,681 --> 00:19:46,766
I'm in a bit of a bind, boys.

269
00:19:46,849 --> 00:19:49,644
I rode all the way out here
to pan for gold

270
00:19:49,727 --> 00:19:51,771
and my horse up and died on me.

271
00:19:51,854 --> 00:19:53,355
How'd he die?

272
00:19:53,439 --> 00:19:55,066
Suicide.

273
00:19:55,149 --> 00:19:56,943
Drowned himself.

274
00:19:57,026 --> 00:20:00,404
Put his head in the stream
and just kept it there.

275
00:20:00,487 --> 00:20:02,073
Saddest thing you ever seen.

276
00:20:02,824 --> 00:20:04,075
It happens.

277
00:20:04,158 --> 00:20:07,119
Powers that be don't like to admit it,
but it happens.

278
00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:09,371
He looks like an honest white guy.

279
00:20:10,164 --> 00:20:11,207
Hop on.

280
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:13,125
Much obliged.

281
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,545
Just drop me off
at the nearest town.

282
00:20:22,969 --> 00:20:24,178
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather around.

283
00:20:24,261 --> 00:20:27,348
Hear the wondrous effects
of Dr. Chubb's Vita Oil,

284
00:20:27,431 --> 00:20:29,809
the miracle cure for 1001 ailments.

285
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:31,728
Put the pep back in your...

286
00:20:32,353 --> 00:20:33,520
Who's this asshole?

287
00:20:47,785 --> 00:20:51,247
Well, now, look at this fella,
drinking from the horse trough.

288
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:52,331
Excuse me.

289
00:20:53,791 --> 00:20:54,834
You there!

290
00:20:56,252 --> 00:20:58,963
What you're doing is disgusting.

291
00:20:59,046 --> 00:21:01,382
That water is for our filthy horses.

292
00:21:01,465 --> 00:21:05,762
Water flows from the sky spirit
for all its children.

293
00:21:05,845 --> 00:21:07,054
Isn't that right, cousin?

294
00:21:07,138 --> 00:21:11,100
We don't cotton to that peyote-smoking
nonsense around these parts.

295
00:21:11,183 --> 00:21:13,144
Do you hear me, "cousin"?

296
00:21:14,561 --> 00:21:17,481
Okay, William, come on back.

297
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:19,025
Hey, <i>amigo.</i>

298
00:21:19,942 --> 00:21:21,652
You planning on staying in town?

299
00:21:22,569 --> 00:21:25,114
Might need a place
to lay my head for a bit.

300
00:21:33,372 --> 00:21:36,333
Sorry about that ugly man
that insulted you.

301
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:40,546
He runs the bank, so he thinks
he's entitled to be mean to everyone.

302
00:21:40,629 --> 00:21:42,506
There's a bank in this town?

303
00:21:42,589 --> 00:21:44,300
Why? You wanna rob it?

304
00:21:44,383 --> 00:21:47,594
I look like a bank robber to you, ma'am?

305
00:21:47,678 --> 00:21:52,599
Funny, there's something about you that
reminds me of a certain bank robber.

306
00:21:53,225 --> 00:21:55,144
His name was Frank Stockburn.

307
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,605
You know Frank Stockburn?

308
00:21:58,689 --> 00:22:00,775
"Know"? Like, in the biblical sense?

309
00:22:00,858 --> 00:22:04,278
No, ma'am.
You've met him before is what I'm asking.

310
00:22:04,361 --> 00:22:06,738
Yes, I met him.

311
00:22:06,823 --> 00:22:08,282
Then, 20 minutes later,

312
00:22:08,365 --> 00:22:11,828
I knew him in the biblical sense
on that bed, right there.

313
00:22:11,911 --> 00:22:12,912
Oh.

314
00:22:12,995 --> 00:22:17,875
And, I knew him, in the biblical sense,
twice on this railing.

315
00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:18,960
Uh-huh.

316
00:22:19,043 --> 00:22:23,380
And then, while doing a handstand
on that dresser you're leaning against.

317
00:22:25,716 --> 00:22:29,178
Did he happen to mention
a singing windmill?

318
00:22:29,261 --> 00:22:32,098
He did mention a singing windmill.

319
00:22:32,181 --> 00:22:35,059
He said it sounded like a choir of angels.

320
00:22:35,142 --> 00:22:36,853
Where'd he say it was?

321
00:22:36,936 --> 00:22:41,941
He said that it was in a place
where he made his biggest score.

322
00:22:42,024 --> 00:22:44,068
Whatever that was.

323
00:22:44,151 --> 00:22:45,402
And then he laughed.

324
00:22:45,486 --> 00:22:47,696
He liked to laugh...

325
00:22:47,779 --> 00:22:49,781
and have handstand sex.

326
00:22:49,866 --> 00:22:51,742
Yeah, we gotta get past that.

327
00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:53,077
I miss him.

328
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,121
But he did leave me something
to remember him by.

329
00:22:55,204 --> 00:22:56,580
What's this?

330
00:22:56,663 --> 00:23:00,084
A <i>niño,</i> Ramon.

331
00:23:01,252 --> 00:23:03,295
I have a brother?

332
00:23:03,379 --> 00:23:07,341
Oh, Burro, we had many adventures
together, you and me.

333
00:23:07,424 --> 00:23:08,926
We're not getting any younger.

334
00:23:10,386 --> 00:23:13,097
At least we have our memories.

335
00:23:14,932 --> 00:23:18,895
Remember the two girls,
the sisters, in Deadwood?

336
00:23:18,978 --> 00:23:20,271
You liked the fat one.

337
00:23:22,023 --> 00:23:23,607
You know it's true.

338
00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:25,192
Ramon Lopez?

339
00:23:26,235 --> 00:23:27,528
<i>Sí.</i>

340
00:23:28,445 --> 00:23:33,325
I just came from conversating
with your mother, Esmerelda.

341
00:23:34,326 --> 00:23:38,330
We stumbled upon the fact that
your dad and my dad...

342
00:23:39,957 --> 00:23:41,667
are the same fella.

343
00:23:42,334 --> 00:23:43,835
Oh, that's neat.

344
00:23:44,461 --> 00:23:45,587
Yeah.

345
00:23:45,671 --> 00:23:47,881
Same father.

346
00:23:47,965 --> 00:23:50,051
Half-brothers.

347
00:23:50,134 --> 00:23:52,094
What do you think about that, Burro?

348
00:23:54,430 --> 00:23:55,806
So, how is Dad?

349
00:23:55,889 --> 00:23:58,976
Well, he went and got himself kidnapped,

350
00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:02,896
and I need to come up with $50,000
to save his life.

351
00:24:03,772 --> 00:24:05,357
That's a lot of pesos.

352
00:24:05,441 --> 00:24:06,567
Sure is.

353
00:24:07,484 --> 00:24:10,862
That's why I'm fixin'
to rob the bank here in town.

354
00:24:12,031 --> 00:24:13,199
Hang on.

355
00:24:14,366 --> 00:24:16,868
My father is in trouble.

356
00:24:16,953 --> 00:24:19,871
My brother, he needs my help.

357
00:24:21,498 --> 00:24:23,584
I'll rob the bank with you.

358
00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:25,586
I must do this alone.

359
00:24:28,422 --> 00:24:30,216
What's happening right now?

360
00:24:32,009 --> 00:24:34,220
Ever since I'm <i>pequeño,</i>

361
00:24:34,303 --> 00:24:39,058
I dream about spending
one magical day with <i>mi padre,</i>

362
00:24:39,141 --> 00:24:43,020
sharing meals,
introducing him to the burro.

363
00:24:45,147 --> 00:24:48,900
I will not let go of you
until you say I can help you.

364
00:24:55,282 --> 00:24:58,619
Will you stop brushing me
if I say yes?

365
00:24:58,702 --> 00:24:59,786
Yes.

366
00:25:01,747 --> 00:25:03,207
Then you can help.

367
00:25:16,595 --> 00:25:18,764
That means he likes you.

368
00:25:36,823 --> 00:25:39,701
That's a good amount of money
you want us to lend you.

369
00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:42,829
Now, normally, we would require
two forms of identification, madam,

370
00:25:42,913 --> 00:25:45,874
but that won't be necessary in your case.

371
00:25:45,957 --> 00:25:48,877
I feel kinda guilty about this, Burro,

372
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,796
taking money from nice people.

373
00:25:50,879 --> 00:25:53,215
I mean, it's not like
you're some greasy Mexican.

374
00:25:55,134 --> 00:25:56,593
I feel less guilty now.

375
00:25:58,512 --> 00:26:00,389
What are you doing?

376
00:26:00,472 --> 00:26:02,391
This is a bank!

377
00:26:02,474 --> 00:26:04,226
Get that donkey out of here!

378
00:26:04,310 --> 00:26:06,019
It is a burro, <i>señor.</i>

379
00:26:06,103 --> 00:26:08,897
I don't care, <i>"señor."</i>
Get it out!

380
00:26:08,980 --> 00:26:10,732
All right.
<i>Vámonos.</i>

381
00:26:13,069 --> 00:26:14,611
The burro don't want to <i>vámonos.</i>

382
00:26:14,695 --> 00:26:18,574
Well, I don't really care
what the burro wants.

383
00:26:21,493 --> 00:26:24,538
Get out of my bank, you beast!

384
00:26:24,621 --> 00:26:27,083
I know what you're thinking,
but not yet.

385
00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:28,459
Hold it.

386
00:26:28,542 --> 00:26:30,461
Move!

387
00:26:41,930 --> 00:26:44,475
How is this jackass stuck?

388
00:26:44,558 --> 00:26:47,353
If it got in here,
it can certainly get out!

389
00:26:47,436 --> 00:26:50,147
It doesn't make sense,
it's not logical.

390
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,150
They got it locked up good,
do they?

391
00:26:53,234 --> 00:26:56,570
Oh! You are leaving!

392
00:27:00,199 --> 00:27:03,119
Gall dang,
he felled on his pooper!

393
00:27:16,715 --> 00:27:19,050
- That makes no sense!
- I apologize.

394
00:27:19,135 --> 00:27:21,470
- I don't know how many times I could...
- Hey, friend.

395
00:27:21,553 --> 00:27:23,389
Need any help gettin' her out?

396
00:27:24,055 --> 00:27:26,099
She's not
really stuck, <i>amigo.</i>

397
00:27:26,183 --> 00:27:27,768
She's just a diversion.

398
00:27:27,851 --> 00:27:29,978
She's a virgin?

399
00:27:30,061 --> 00:27:32,148
I'm a virgin, too...

400
00:27:32,231 --> 00:27:34,191
unless you count canty-loupes.

401
00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:37,278
I believe that,
but she's a diversion

402
00:27:37,361 --> 00:27:38,945
to keep the banker busy

403
00:27:39,029 --> 00:27:41,698
so that my brother has time
to rob the bank.

404
00:27:41,782 --> 00:27:43,867
You're robbin' the bank?

405
00:27:43,950 --> 00:27:45,661
- Gall dang!
- Shh, shh.

406
00:27:45,744 --> 00:27:48,247
Gall dang.
Gall dang. Gall dang.

407
00:27:57,673 --> 00:27:59,049
Oh, no. Oh, no.

408
00:28:01,510 --> 00:28:03,887
No! Virgil! Virgil, the key!

409
00:28:06,723 --> 00:28:08,225
I'm Lil Pete.

410
00:28:08,309 --> 00:28:09,935
So, is your father, like, Big Pete?

411
00:28:10,018 --> 00:28:12,020
I didn't know my pa.

412
00:28:12,103 --> 00:28:15,441
But he was a bank robber like y'all!
His name was Frank.

413
00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:18,360
- Stockburn?
- How'd you know?

414
00:28:19,778 --> 00:28:21,112
Are you a wizard?

415
00:28:24,825 --> 00:28:26,452
<i>Hey, Johnny Law.</i>

416
00:28:26,535 --> 00:28:30,289
<i>We'll be waiting for you
up at Jawbone Falls.</i>

417
00:28:30,372 --> 00:28:31,873
<i>Frank Stockburn.</i>

418
00:28:32,541 --> 00:28:33,542
What?

419
00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:34,751
Robbery!

420
00:28:34,835 --> 00:28:37,087
We're being burgled!

421
00:28:37,879 --> 00:28:40,591
You! Horse-water-drinker!

422
00:28:40,674 --> 00:28:42,008
You are caught, sir!

423
00:28:52,853 --> 00:28:54,020
Oh!

424
00:28:54,104 --> 00:28:55,772
What are you?

425
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,568
Hey, Tommy, guess what?
We got ourselves a little brother.

426
00:28:59,651 --> 00:29:02,779
Yeah! All our moms got porked
by the same outlaw.

427
00:29:02,863 --> 00:29:04,740
- Ain't that a pip?
- Yeah, that's something.

428
00:29:04,823 --> 00:29:07,618
Hey! Those <i>bandidos</i> just robbed the bank!

429
00:29:10,537 --> 00:29:12,914
Taste my bullets,
you dirty foreigners!

430
00:29:12,998 --> 00:29:14,458
Now!

431
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,256
- Nice one, Burro.
- Wow!

432
00:29:20,339 --> 00:29:21,632
- There they are!
- We better make tracks.

433
00:29:21,715 --> 00:29:23,217
Can I come with?
I got a wagon.

434
00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:25,176
All right, that ain't a bad idea,
let's go.

435
00:29:25,261 --> 00:29:26,762
<i>Vámonos.</i> Come on!

436
00:29:27,804 --> 00:29:29,515
So, if you guys are
my brothers,

437
00:29:29,598 --> 00:29:31,350
you must got three nipples, too.

438
00:29:31,433 --> 00:29:32,643
I only got two.

439
00:29:32,726 --> 00:29:34,270
Yeah, just got the two.

440
00:29:34,353 --> 00:29:36,563
Oh, must be
from my mama's side.

441
00:29:36,647 --> 00:29:38,524
Forget I tolded you that, okay?

442
00:29:38,607 --> 00:29:39,691
Will do.

443
00:29:41,568 --> 00:29:42,986
Are you ready, Clem?

444
00:29:44,195 --> 00:29:46,573
Yep, yep. I'm... I'm ready.

445
00:29:52,746 --> 00:29:53,955
Spoon.

446
00:29:55,707 --> 00:29:57,000
Damn sharp.

447
00:30:02,464 --> 00:30:08,094
Look, fellas, I wanna hunt
this white Injun down same as you.

448
00:30:08,178 --> 00:30:09,930
But, uh... I...

449
00:30:11,181 --> 00:30:13,267
I have some problems with my eyes.

450
00:30:13,350 --> 00:30:17,354
You wanna join the Left-Eye Gang,
that right eye has gotta come out.

451
00:30:17,438 --> 00:30:19,440
It'll only hurt for a second.

452
00:30:19,523 --> 00:30:22,108
Yeah, like a hundred seconds.

453
00:30:22,192 --> 00:30:25,070
- Then you're one of us.
- For life.

454
00:30:26,029 --> 00:30:28,114
Okay, that makes sense.

455
00:30:30,116 --> 00:30:33,912
Is it okay if I scoop this left eye out?

456
00:30:33,995 --> 00:30:35,747
This is... I'm basically blind here.

457
00:30:35,831 --> 00:30:37,999
This right one sees like an eagle.

458
00:30:38,083 --> 00:30:41,002
Yeah, it just seems
like a waste that I'd...

459
00:30:41,086 --> 00:30:44,423
I understand your predicament,
but rules is rules.

460
00:30:44,506 --> 00:30:47,008
Yeah, guess it... makes sense.

461
00:30:52,473 --> 00:30:53,932
Oh, God!

462
00:30:54,015 --> 00:30:56,393
Hell, no!

463
00:30:56,477 --> 00:30:59,187
That ain't right!

464
00:31:00,105 --> 00:31:01,607
Damn!

465
00:31:01,690 --> 00:31:03,024
It's half way.

466
00:31:03,108 --> 00:31:04,901
- It's dangling by a vein!
- Whoo! Oh, man!

467
00:31:04,985 --> 00:31:07,278
It's crazy,
I can still see out of it!

468
00:31:07,363 --> 00:31:08,780
- Goddamn, it hurts!
- I think I'm gonna puke.

469
00:31:08,864 --> 00:31:12,158
It's just going round and round like
a tassel on a stripper's titty!

470
00:31:12,242 --> 00:31:13,827
Okay, gotta get it, gotta get it!

471
00:31:13,910 --> 00:31:15,454
I'm getting dizzy!

472
00:31:15,537 --> 00:31:17,205
Got it, got it, got it!

473
00:31:17,288 --> 00:31:18,289
Yeah!

474
00:31:18,374 --> 00:31:20,083
Ah!

475
00:31:20,166 --> 00:31:23,044
Oh, Lord! Holy shit.

476
00:31:24,129 --> 00:31:27,924
You done it, partner.
Welcome to the Left-Eye Gang.

477
00:31:28,008 --> 00:31:29,050
Whoo!

478
00:31:29,134 --> 00:31:30,386
I did it!

479
00:31:30,469 --> 00:31:33,555
I'm glad that's done.

480
00:31:33,639 --> 00:31:36,517
Let's just go get that
Injun-loving son of a bitch, huh?

481
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,643
Yeah.

482
00:31:37,726 --> 00:31:39,811
- Yeah! Let's get him.
- Yeah.

483
00:31:39,895 --> 00:31:42,105
Like, so...

484
00:31:42,188 --> 00:31:44,274
Oh, I touched the hole.
I touched the hole!

485
00:31:46,777 --> 00:31:49,154
Got me a patch!

486
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,035
<i>Dear Mama,
you may be wondering</i>

487
00:31:55,118 --> 00:31:59,289
<i>why I have not returned
from my trip to the ice cream store.</i>

488
00:31:59,373 --> 00:32:03,752
<i>It's because I met my brothers,
Ramon and Tommy.</i>

489
00:32:03,835 --> 00:32:06,004
<i>And we're trying to steal money.</i>

490
00:32:06,087 --> 00:32:09,633
<i>We need the money
to give to the bad men</i>

491
00:32:09,716 --> 00:32:14,555
<i>who took Pa away
to the land of the singing windmill.</i>

492
00:32:14,638 --> 00:32:19,518
<i>Tommy says it's not okay
to take money from decent folks.</i>

493
00:32:19,601 --> 00:32:20,602
I got the money!

494
00:32:20,686 --> 00:32:23,439
<i>Luckily, there's a lot of bad people
here in the West.</i>

495
00:32:23,522 --> 00:32:25,106
Yee-haw!

496
00:32:25,190 --> 00:32:26,400
Let's ride!

497
00:32:29,403 --> 00:32:31,905
Eat it! You know you like it.

498
00:32:31,988 --> 00:32:33,699
You know you like it.

499
00:32:34,324 --> 00:32:35,576
Good God!

500
00:32:35,659 --> 00:32:38,161
Good burro!

501
00:32:38,244 --> 00:32:39,496
That's right.

502
00:32:39,580 --> 00:32:40,581
Enjoy it!

503
00:32:41,582 --> 00:32:44,084
- That's just wrong.
- Yeah, yeah.

504
00:32:44,167 --> 00:32:45,168
Is it?

505
00:33:00,016 --> 00:33:03,353
This is so much better
than the cantaloupe.

506
00:33:07,566 --> 00:33:09,443
Good burro!

507
00:33:09,526 --> 00:33:12,278
<i>Slowly, but surely,</i>

508
00:33:12,362 --> 00:33:17,117
<i>we're chippin' away
at the $50,000 we need to save Pa.</i>

509
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,620
<i>That's a lot of money,
isn't it, Mama?</i>

510
00:33:21,287 --> 00:33:22,330
<i>Mama?</i>

511
00:33:24,082 --> 00:33:28,462
<i>Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm writing you a letter.</i>

512
00:33:29,588 --> 00:33:33,800
<i>Anyways, I can't wait
to actually meet my pa.</i>

513
00:33:33,884 --> 00:33:36,427
<i>I want him to teach me
how you make babies.</i>

514
00:33:36,512 --> 00:33:39,973
<i>And how the lady poops 'em out.</i>

515
00:33:40,056 --> 00:33:42,518
<i>Be home quick as I can.</i>

516
00:33:42,601 --> 00:33:45,812
<i>Your loving son, Lil Pete.</i>

517
00:34:10,128 --> 00:34:11,379
Tommy?

518
00:34:11,462 --> 00:34:13,256
Yeah, Lil Pete?

519
00:34:14,174 --> 00:34:16,092
Where's the singing windmill?

520
00:34:16,176 --> 00:34:18,720
It's where dad made
his biggest score.

521
00:34:20,138 --> 00:34:22,891
Maybe we'll get another clue
up at Jawbone Falls.

522
00:34:22,974 --> 00:34:26,394
That's where he used to hide out
when he was an outlaw.

523
00:34:26,477 --> 00:34:29,606
Oh, cool beans.

524
00:34:33,276 --> 00:34:34,528
Tommy?

525
00:34:34,611 --> 00:34:36,530
Yeah, Lil Pete?

526
00:34:37,488 --> 00:34:39,490
If we get caught stealing...

527
00:34:40,158 --> 00:34:41,868
would we be in trouble?

528
00:34:44,996 --> 00:34:46,456
I reckon we'll hang.

529
00:34:49,751 --> 00:34:52,378
Well... that's no bother.

530
00:34:53,463 --> 00:34:55,381
I got a real strong neck.

531
00:34:55,465 --> 00:34:59,427
Mama makes me pull the plow with my head
if I don't finish my schoolwork.

532
00:35:00,511 --> 00:35:02,180
Which occurs regularilly.

533
00:35:04,182 --> 00:35:06,810
Strong neck might come in handy.

534
00:35:06,893 --> 00:35:09,771
Okay, let's get our rest.

535
00:35:11,314 --> 00:35:13,233
Good night, Tommy.

536
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,986
Good night, Lil Pete.

537
00:35:16,069 --> 00:35:18,488
Good night, Ramon.

538
00:35:18,572 --> 00:35:19,990
Good night, brothers.

539
00:35:20,991 --> 00:35:22,158
Good night, Burro.

540
00:35:26,412 --> 00:35:28,123
That's a dry one.

541
00:35:28,206 --> 00:35:30,166
We will have good dry weather tomorrow.

542
00:35:43,889 --> 00:35:45,431
Shoo, fly!

543
00:35:45,515 --> 00:35:46,642
Shoo!

544
00:35:49,144 --> 00:35:52,272
Oh, come on, fly, <i>vámonos!</i>
We need our sleep.

545
00:35:56,067 --> 00:35:58,278
Let me take care of this.

546
00:35:58,361 --> 00:36:00,113
How can you see a fly in the dark?

547
00:36:00,196 --> 00:36:03,449
A true hunter sees
with all his senses.

548
00:36:08,830 --> 00:36:10,957
That was some mystical shit, man.

549
00:36:14,419 --> 00:36:15,503
Uh-oh.

550
00:36:15,586 --> 00:36:17,964
I think you just nicked his biscuits off.

551
00:36:18,048 --> 00:36:20,216
That's what I was aiming for.

552
00:36:21,217 --> 00:36:22,969
He didn't deserve to die.

553
00:36:23,762 --> 00:36:26,556
He deserved to know
he was not welcome here.

554
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,517
Raised by Indians, huh?

555
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,687
That had some impact on you.

556
00:36:34,856 --> 00:36:36,733
Well, let me get this one.

557
00:36:44,908 --> 00:36:46,827
Sounded like a horse fly.

558
00:36:46,910 --> 00:36:49,705
That wasn't a horse fly,
that was my horse!

559
00:36:49,788 --> 00:36:51,247
Peanut?

560
00:36:51,331 --> 00:36:53,124
Oh, Peanut!

561
00:36:54,625 --> 00:36:57,420
Oh, the burro's gonna be pissed.

562
00:36:58,629 --> 00:37:00,173
You're doing <i>bueno,</i> Burro!

563
00:37:00,256 --> 00:37:03,134
Don't be intimidated by the horse,
you're just as good as him.

564
00:37:03,218 --> 00:37:05,136
I'm so hungry.

565
00:37:05,220 --> 00:37:07,347
There's breakfast all around.

566
00:37:07,430 --> 00:37:12,227
Nuts, berries, bark,
different kinds of mud.

567
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:14,479
I wish there were taco trees.

568
00:37:14,562 --> 00:37:16,022
What's a taco?

569
00:37:16,106 --> 00:37:17,523
They're the best.

570
00:37:17,607 --> 00:37:21,236
Meat and cheese and tomatoes
in a crispy shell.

571
00:37:21,319 --> 00:37:22,738
You'd love it, man.

572
00:37:22,821 --> 00:37:25,240
Ooh, I want one.
I want 50.

573
00:37:25,323 --> 00:37:27,993
Hate to put an end
to this fascinating conversation,

574
00:37:28,076 --> 00:37:29,077
but we're here.

575
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,747
Jawbone Falls.

576
00:37:33,915 --> 00:37:36,459
And there's a mansion next to it!

577
00:37:44,217 --> 00:37:45,676
Should we just go in?

578
00:37:46,762 --> 00:37:48,596
I reckon.

579
00:37:58,106 --> 00:37:59,149
Hello?

580
00:38:01,609 --> 00:38:02,652
<i>Hola.</i>

581
00:38:06,031 --> 00:38:09,284
Well, this is cozy.

582
00:38:16,041 --> 00:38:17,125
Hello?

583
00:38:26,634 --> 00:38:28,303
Hold on!

584
00:38:28,386 --> 00:38:30,138
Tommy!

585
00:38:37,979 --> 00:38:40,899
Stop! Leave my brother alone!

586
00:38:40,982 --> 00:38:43,068
No, no, no!

587
00:38:43,151 --> 00:38:45,361
Simon says, "Stop!"

588
00:38:45,445 --> 00:38:47,989
Don't hurt my brother!

589
00:38:49,115 --> 00:38:50,200
- Stop!
- Huh?

590
00:38:56,289 --> 00:38:57,623
Good thinking, Tommy.

591
00:38:57,707 --> 00:38:58,708
All right.

592
00:38:58,792 --> 00:39:01,002
Not for me, but good one, Tommy.

593
00:39:03,129 --> 00:39:05,756
Settle, settle, watch it...

594
00:39:05,841 --> 00:39:07,801
It's all right, it's all right...

595
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:10,929
We don't mean no harm.

596
00:39:11,012 --> 00:39:14,140
- We're just looking for our dad.
<i>- Sí.</i>

597
00:39:14,224 --> 00:39:15,725
Is this your place?

598
00:39:17,227 --> 00:39:18,519
Whose place is it?

599
00:39:23,024 --> 00:39:24,192
Your mother?

600
00:39:24,275 --> 00:39:26,736
Oh, is she here right now?

601
00:39:29,780 --> 00:39:31,116
Oh, she's dead.

602
00:39:32,742 --> 00:39:34,953
I'm so sorry,
I'm sure she was a good woman.

603
00:39:36,412 --> 00:39:37,663
She died three years ago?

604
00:39:38,874 --> 00:39:39,916
Three months ago?

605
00:39:41,877 --> 00:39:44,545
Oh, your mama has three nipples?

606
00:39:44,629 --> 00:39:45,755
Huh?

607
00:39:48,633 --> 00:39:51,386
Yeah, there's three of us.

608
00:39:51,469 --> 00:39:53,721
- Three of us, <i>sí.</i>
- Okay. Okay.

609
00:39:53,804 --> 00:39:55,598
<i>Claro, tres. Sí. Sí.</i>

610
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,601
Whoo-hoo!

611
00:39:58,684 --> 00:40:01,354
You and your mom were making
moonshine up here, huh?

612
00:40:01,437 --> 00:40:03,106
Much obliged.

613
00:40:03,814 --> 00:40:04,815
<i>Gracias.</i>

614
00:40:05,984 --> 00:40:09,362
Making moonshine for Frank Stockburn?

615
00:40:09,445 --> 00:40:10,989
You know Frank Stockburn?

616
00:40:13,992 --> 00:40:15,243
He slept here?

617
00:40:16,912 --> 00:40:18,079
With your mama?

618
00:40:24,335 --> 00:40:25,336
Okay.

619
00:40:31,384 --> 00:40:34,720
Your mama was an owl.

620
00:40:34,804 --> 00:40:38,058
No, our dad made his mom
make owl noises.

621
00:40:38,141 --> 00:40:39,434
Huh?

622
00:40:39,517 --> 00:40:43,771
Yeah, that's right, friend.
We're your brothers.

623
00:40:45,065 --> 00:40:46,857
Gall dang!

624
00:40:54,532 --> 00:40:55,533
Okay.

625
00:40:55,616 --> 00:40:57,911
- Down the hatch, boys!
<i>- Salud. Salud.</i>

626
00:41:00,330 --> 00:41:01,957
What's your name, anyways?

627
00:41:09,755 --> 00:41:14,260
H... R... M...

628
00:41:15,303 --> 00:41:18,181
Squiggly line, asterisk.

629
00:41:20,641 --> 00:41:22,185
How 'bout we just call you Herm?

630
00:41:23,853 --> 00:41:25,896
Herm, so you know,

631
00:41:25,981 --> 00:41:29,525
our dad was kidnapped
by some bad <i>muchachos.</i>

632
00:41:29,609 --> 00:41:31,027
Yeah,

633
00:41:31,111 --> 00:41:33,488
we need money to get him back.

634
00:41:33,571 --> 00:41:35,531
So we're going to steal the money.

635
00:41:37,993 --> 00:41:41,121
No, we're only stealing the money
from folks what are bad.

636
00:41:41,204 --> 00:41:42,622
Hmm...

637
00:41:43,999 --> 00:41:48,753
So do you know of any place where we could
steal a lot of money from some bad folks?

638
00:41:48,836 --> 00:41:50,463
Mmm...

639
00:41:52,173 --> 00:41:53,341
He's got something.

640
00:41:57,053 --> 00:41:59,764
The Gold Nugget Saloon, huh?

641
00:42:00,890 --> 00:42:02,225
I reckon you're coming with us?

642
00:42:06,812 --> 00:42:09,149
Smoking Fox
so worried about White Knife.

643
00:42:09,232 --> 00:42:11,192
We must get her to eat something.

644
00:42:11,276 --> 00:42:14,487
Oh, we having a little picnic here, huh?

645
00:42:14,570 --> 00:42:16,614
You have no right to be here!
This Apache land!

646
00:42:16,697 --> 00:42:19,284
And what you gonna do about it,
beaver breath?

647
00:42:19,367 --> 00:42:21,077
How he know my name?

648
00:42:21,161 --> 00:42:23,621
That's really her name!

649
00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:29,252
Yeah, I think you also could have
gone with "Face Like Witch."

650
00:42:29,335 --> 00:42:31,004
Or "Eats Like Pig."

651
00:42:31,087 --> 00:42:32,797
Or "Hit In Face With Diarrhea Stick."

652
00:42:34,590 --> 00:42:37,635
That's it? Nobody else?
Babyface? Stumbles?

653
00:42:37,718 --> 00:42:40,763
Hey, boss! Look what I got here!

654
00:42:40,846 --> 00:42:43,891
He ain't gonna be
happy about this.

655
00:42:43,974 --> 00:42:47,145
Well, well, well.

656
00:42:53,609 --> 00:42:56,487
Yep, used to be a prosperous town.

657
00:42:56,571 --> 00:43:01,201
Then the gold mine dried up
and the train stopped stopping.

658
00:43:01,284 --> 00:43:04,787
The saloon's the only place left that
still does a good business.

659
00:43:04,870 --> 00:43:09,167
Open day and night since they built it.
Ain't even a lock on the front door.

660
00:43:09,250 --> 00:43:10,501
It never closes.

661
00:43:12,378 --> 00:43:14,839
They got a big ol' golden nugget
hanging above the fireplace.

662
00:43:14,922 --> 00:43:16,924
Folks come from all over
just to take a look.

663
00:43:17,007 --> 00:43:20,010
They say it's worth about $20,000, easy.

664
00:43:21,471 --> 00:43:22,555
All right.

665
00:43:26,851 --> 00:43:30,646
I'm surprised no one's ever tried
to stolen that nugget.

666
00:43:30,730 --> 00:43:32,523
Oh, folks have tried.

667
00:43:32,607 --> 00:43:35,818
If you go in there, you see their thumbs
hanging above the bar.

668
00:43:35,901 --> 00:43:37,987
Smiley Harris, the owner,
bit them clean off.

669
00:43:38,071 --> 00:43:39,822
So nobody messes with Smiley.

670
00:43:44,494 --> 00:43:46,079
That sort of tickled.

671
00:43:46,162 --> 00:43:48,873
What we got going over here, friend?

672
00:43:48,956 --> 00:43:51,209
Just open your robe, please.

673
00:43:53,419 --> 00:43:54,920
Ooh...

674
00:43:55,004 --> 00:43:57,715
I have never seen that big of a rash...

675
00:43:57,798 --> 00:43:59,509
or infection

676
00:43:59,592 --> 00:44:02,803
or whatever this green bubble is.

677
00:44:02,887 --> 00:44:04,389
Hmm.

678
00:44:04,472 --> 00:44:05,556
All right.

679
00:44:08,101 --> 00:44:09,102
Yeah.

680
00:44:13,231 --> 00:44:16,567
Now, son, I would simply recommend
that you stop doing

681
00:44:16,651 --> 00:44:18,903
whatever it is you've been doing,

682
00:44:18,986 --> 00:44:21,156
with whoever...

683
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,741
or whatever you've been doing it with.

684
00:44:32,292 --> 00:44:34,169
Yep, now they call him Smiley,

685
00:44:34,252 --> 00:44:38,298
'cause even when committing
the most unspeakable atrocities,

686
00:44:38,381 --> 00:44:41,426
a cheerful grin never leaves his face.

687
00:44:43,386 --> 00:44:45,638
All right, just lift your tail
for me, please.

688
00:44:47,182 --> 00:44:49,309
Now, he's why that nugget
has never been stolen.

689
00:44:50,435 --> 00:44:52,353
And never will be stolen.

690
00:44:57,358 --> 00:44:59,235
This'll prevent infection.

691
00:45:03,781 --> 00:45:05,533
It tastes good, too.

692
00:45:05,616 --> 00:45:10,871
This Smiley fella, sounds more like
a hooligan than a barkeep.

693
00:45:10,955 --> 00:45:12,207
You're not far off.

694
00:45:12,290 --> 00:45:13,958
Rumor has it that back in the old days

695
00:45:14,041 --> 00:45:16,085
he used to run
with the Frank Stockburn Gang.

696
00:45:17,753 --> 00:45:19,129
Lip balm?

697
00:45:19,214 --> 00:45:21,341
I reckon I'm good.

698
00:45:36,439 --> 00:45:37,773
Come on, champ!

699
00:46:04,592 --> 00:46:07,637
That Smiley fellow,
he don't joke around.

700
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,264
Oh... I joke around...

701
00:46:09,972 --> 00:46:11,682
but never when it comes to my business.

702
00:46:11,766 --> 00:46:14,143
Welcome to the Gold Nugget, gentlemen.

703
00:46:14,226 --> 00:46:17,480
Mr. Harris,
it's quite a nice spread you got here.

704
00:46:17,563 --> 00:46:19,524
So what brings you gentlemen to town?

705
00:46:19,607 --> 00:46:24,069
Actually, we wanted to ask you
about something, Mr. Harris.

706
00:46:24,153 --> 00:46:25,571
Excuse me.

707
00:46:26,406 --> 00:46:30,200
I am conversing with these gentlemen, sir.
I shall be with you in a moment.

708
00:46:30,285 --> 00:46:33,288
I need to talk to you about
Frank Stockburn.

709
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:40,127
I haven't heard that name in many a year.

710
00:46:40,210 --> 00:46:41,296
You know him.

711
00:46:41,379 --> 00:46:44,214
Mr. Stockburn and I
were business partners.

712
00:46:44,299 --> 00:46:46,426
I got a photograph.

713
00:46:46,509 --> 00:46:50,721
You see, that there's him...
and that's you.

714
00:46:50,805 --> 00:46:52,515
You rode in his gang.

715
00:46:52,598 --> 00:46:56,268
To be precise...
it was our gang.

716
00:46:56,352 --> 00:46:59,021
He went on to a criminal career
of some renown,

717
00:46:59,104 --> 00:47:02,525
while I achieved great success
in the legitimate business world.

718
00:47:02,608 --> 00:47:03,984
Please help me.

719
00:47:04,068 --> 00:47:06,028
Sir, you are becoming a nuisance.

720
00:47:06,111 --> 00:47:08,573
I just need to tell him what I've done.

721
00:47:35,099 --> 00:47:37,893
I think he's had enough, boss.

722
00:47:40,438 --> 00:47:42,440
Yes.

723
00:47:42,523 --> 00:47:45,192
My apologies, gentlemen.

724
00:47:45,275 --> 00:47:47,403
Not my favorite subject.

725
00:47:47,487 --> 00:47:49,614
A round on the house.

726
00:47:51,031 --> 00:47:54,494
And, Chico, if you ever
grab my arm like that again,

727
00:47:54,577 --> 00:47:56,412
I'll put six bullets in your head.

728
00:47:58,831 --> 00:48:00,082
That's quite a beating.

729
00:48:00,165 --> 00:48:02,710
Hope you and your drink are okay.

730
00:48:03,628 --> 00:48:06,547
Why do you want to meet
this Frank Stockburn so badly, huh?

731
00:48:06,631 --> 00:48:08,716
Frank Stockburn's my father.

732
00:48:10,843 --> 00:48:14,430
If Frank Stockburn is your father,
raise your hand.

733
00:48:16,891 --> 00:48:18,476
Gall dang!

734
00:48:27,985 --> 00:48:31,489
Chico's right.
Getting late, starting to thin out.

735
00:48:33,616 --> 00:48:35,325
Can I tell you guys something?

736
00:48:35,410 --> 00:48:37,787
Because I don't wanna have
no secrets between us.

737
00:48:37,870 --> 00:48:38,996
Of course.

738
00:48:39,079 --> 00:48:41,040
- Yeah, we're brothers.
- Yeah.

739
00:48:41,123 --> 00:48:45,420
Now, I know Dad is a white man,
but my mother...

740
00:48:45,503 --> 00:48:47,212
was actually black.

741
00:48:47,296 --> 00:48:51,008
So that, technically,
makes me half-black.

742
00:48:51,091 --> 00:48:52,885
Is that right?

743
00:48:52,968 --> 00:48:54,528
Well, I didn't wanna hide that from you

744
00:48:54,595 --> 00:48:57,389
in case you guys slipped up
and made some racial slurs

745
00:48:57,473 --> 00:49:00,768
- not knowing I wasn't 100% white.
- Hmm.

746
00:49:00,851 --> 00:49:03,228
I mean, I knew she must've
been really muscular,

747
00:49:03,312 --> 00:49:05,606
but I had no idea she was black.

748
00:49:05,690 --> 00:49:06,732
Yeah, I mean, I guess,

749
00:49:06,816 --> 00:49:08,776
now that you mention it,
I see it a little bit.

750
00:49:10,110 --> 00:49:12,655
My mother's Swedish.

751
00:49:12,738 --> 00:49:15,575
I don't think so.
I reckon she's Mexican.

752
00:49:17,076 --> 00:49:19,036
Lying bitch!

753
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,873
So do you new brothers
have any special skills

754
00:49:22,957 --> 00:49:25,000
that could help us out here tonight?

755
00:49:25,084 --> 00:49:26,085
Like what?

756
00:49:26,168 --> 00:49:28,546
Like, you know,
Tommy's good with knives.

757
00:49:28,629 --> 00:49:31,006
Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple.

758
00:49:31,090 --> 00:49:32,675
I got a burro.

759
00:49:34,426 --> 00:49:36,596
Herm is good at strangling.

760
00:49:36,679 --> 00:49:40,349
- Huh?
- I can hold my breath for six minutes.

761
00:49:40,432 --> 00:49:43,102
Well, I can play the piano with my dick.

762
00:49:43,185 --> 00:49:46,313
Well, we're unstoppable then.

763
00:49:46,396 --> 00:49:50,943
Anyways, any of you handsome brothers
ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?

764
00:49:51,026 --> 00:49:52,987
- I'm ready.
- I'm hungry.

765
00:49:53,070 --> 00:49:54,572
- I'm drunk.
- And I'm Lil Pete.

766
00:49:55,906 --> 00:49:57,992
Let's get that nugget then.

767
00:50:39,449 --> 00:50:41,035
Oh...

768
00:50:41,118 --> 00:50:44,622
You've got some pair of <i>huevos</i>
coming into my place, son.

769
00:50:44,705 --> 00:50:47,499
I sure am sorry
about what happened, Mr. Harris.

770
00:50:47,583 --> 00:50:50,085
In fact, I'd like to buy you a drink...

771
00:50:50,169 --> 00:50:52,838
of the good stuff,
if that's okay?

772
00:50:53,548 --> 00:50:57,635
Barkeep, you got any scotch,
real scotch, from scotch-land?

773
00:51:00,763 --> 00:51:04,308
We keep the imported stuff in the back.
I'll go and fetch it for you.

774
00:51:04,391 --> 00:51:05,726
That's wonderful.

775
00:51:22,117 --> 00:51:23,786
Now, I didn't hear that,
did you?

776
00:51:23,869 --> 00:51:25,245
I did.

777
00:51:48,185 --> 00:51:49,854
I don't know,
maybe I'm turned round.

778
00:51:49,937 --> 00:51:52,857
I thought that, like,
tonight was gonna be Fajita Friday

779
00:51:52,940 --> 00:51:54,900
or line dancing or something.

780
00:51:54,984 --> 00:51:58,362
It just seems quiet, but y'all be good.
Stay warm.

781
00:51:58,445 --> 00:52:00,990
- Hey, he's got the thumbs!
- They came with the pants!

782
00:52:05,577 --> 00:52:07,663
Right on the rocks,
right on the rocks.

783
00:52:07,747 --> 00:52:10,290
Oh, you're gaining on me!
You're gaining on me!

784
00:52:10,374 --> 00:52:13,168
You don't even understand
what we're gonna do to...

785
00:52:17,632 --> 00:52:19,925
Teach them not to mess
with the Stockburn brothers!

786
00:52:30,645 --> 00:52:33,898
<i>Smiley...</i>

787
00:52:43,448 --> 00:52:46,201
<i>I'm watching you!</i>

788
00:52:46,285 --> 00:52:47,787
Who's that?

789
00:52:51,373 --> 00:52:52,833
Ladies.

790
00:52:56,295 --> 00:53:00,549
<i>What's behind door number three?</i>

791
00:53:06,555 --> 00:53:10,600
Okay, ladies, take your clothes off
and start punching me in the face.

792
00:53:10,685 --> 00:53:11,727
Sorry, carry on.

793
00:53:11,811 --> 00:53:13,688
Hallelujah!

794
00:53:16,190 --> 00:53:21,236
<i>Smiley,
why don't you visit your grandma...</i>

795
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,988
<i>In hell!</i>

796
00:53:43,175 --> 00:53:45,052
<i>Smiley.</i>

797
00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:49,431
<i>You cannot
escape me, Smiley!</i>

798
00:53:54,519 --> 00:53:57,689
Give me my thumbs back.

799
00:54:04,571 --> 00:54:06,698
It's too big, Lil Pete!

800
00:54:06,782 --> 00:54:07,950
What's too big?

801
00:54:08,784 --> 00:54:11,078
Uh... plan B's too big?

802
00:54:11,161 --> 00:54:12,662
What the hell is plan B?

803
00:54:12,747 --> 00:54:14,373
Let me show you.

804
00:54:15,124 --> 00:54:16,208
Plan B!

805
00:54:37,729 --> 00:54:40,524
Yeah, works better if you have knives.

806
00:54:40,607 --> 00:54:43,527
Yeah, that makes sense.

807
00:54:43,610 --> 00:54:44,862
Come on.

808
00:54:46,989 --> 00:54:48,573
You can take 'em!
Come on!

809
00:54:48,657 --> 00:54:51,118
I got the nugget! I got the nugget!
What do we do?

810
00:54:51,201 --> 00:54:52,870
- He's shooting like a madman!
- Come on!

811
00:54:52,953 --> 00:54:54,997
- Big bullets! Big bullets!
- Come on! Come on!

812
00:54:58,959 --> 00:55:01,253
Next man who moves will die!

813
00:55:05,257 --> 00:55:07,259
Who are you people?

814
00:55:14,308 --> 00:55:16,601
We are the Stockburn brothers.

815
00:55:16,685 --> 00:55:18,562
Frank's kids?

816
00:55:22,149 --> 00:55:26,904
Well... this is interesting.

817
00:55:26,987 --> 00:55:30,407
You know, the last time
I saw your father was in Utah.

818
00:55:30,490 --> 00:55:32,784
Just rang up our biggest score.

819
00:55:33,953 --> 00:55:35,620
But when we was dividing it up,

820
00:55:35,704 --> 00:55:38,623
we started having trouble
with the arithmetic.

821
00:55:38,707 --> 00:55:42,878
And somehow I ended up
abandoned beside a windmill,

822
00:55:42,962 --> 00:55:47,591
knife stuck in my guts,
left to die like a dog.

823
00:55:47,674 --> 00:55:50,010
Frank had taken it all.

824
00:55:50,094 --> 00:55:53,180
But now, I get to take something.

825
00:55:53,263 --> 00:55:57,476
The lives of his five ridiculous sons.

826
00:56:01,271 --> 00:56:02,689
Don't forget about <i>número seis!</i>

827
00:56:07,194 --> 00:56:09,279
Holy moly!

828
00:56:09,363 --> 00:56:10,906
No! Hell, no!

829
00:56:27,172 --> 00:56:30,800
He's giving himself
six bullets to the head!

830
00:56:30,885 --> 00:56:33,053
And he's still smiling!

831
00:56:44,356 --> 00:56:46,316
I was just trying to knock him out.

832
00:56:47,359 --> 00:56:49,987
Well, you succeeded.

833
00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:51,906
I don't think he's waking up
from that one.

834
00:56:51,989 --> 00:56:53,865
You done a number on him, Ramon.

835
00:56:53,949 --> 00:56:55,409
You did!
You did a number there.

836
00:56:55,492 --> 00:56:57,744
- Yeah, you did!
- Hey! Hey!

837
00:57:11,841 --> 00:57:14,803
Plan B was officially insane!

838
00:57:18,765 --> 00:57:22,102
Here you are, Danny.
It's an old Apache remedy.

839
00:57:24,063 --> 00:57:27,191
Clears your head after too much firewater.

840
00:57:27,274 --> 00:57:31,111
You know everything, Tommy.
Where'd you learn all this stuff?

841
00:57:31,195 --> 00:57:33,113
My father taught me.

842
00:57:33,197 --> 00:57:36,450
Dad? I thought you just met him last week.

843
00:57:36,533 --> 00:57:39,744
Not our father. Screaming Eagle.

844
00:57:39,828 --> 00:57:41,663
He raised me since I was a kid.

845
00:57:41,746 --> 00:57:45,834
He's the kindest...
wisest man I've ever known.

846
00:57:45,918 --> 00:57:47,002
Wow...

847
00:57:48,087 --> 00:57:50,130
must've been nice to have a dad.

848
00:57:50,214 --> 00:57:53,508
Oh, yeah, someone to wrastle with

849
00:57:53,592 --> 00:57:55,844
and teach you how
to cut up your panny-cakes.

850
00:57:55,928 --> 00:58:00,515
Someone to give you advice
when you screwed up real, real bad.

851
00:58:01,766 --> 00:58:03,310
Well, we do got a dad.

852
00:58:04,728 --> 00:58:06,855
And we're gonna see him real soon.

853
00:58:09,274 --> 00:58:11,568
Yeah... I can't wait.

854
00:58:13,153 --> 00:58:14,446
Yeah.

855
00:59:37,112 --> 00:59:38,363
Hit it, Herm!

856
01:01:03,198 --> 01:01:04,324
What the...

857
01:01:06,535 --> 01:01:07,994
Okay, boys.

858
01:01:09,078 --> 01:01:10,747
I'm gonna check this out.

859
01:01:13,792 --> 01:01:17,086
The ball is in your hand,
twist the leg, then you let it go!

860
01:01:17,171 --> 01:01:18,922
Now, let me see.
Ready, men?

861
01:01:20,132 --> 01:01:22,426
No, no, no!

862
01:01:22,509 --> 01:01:25,137
You're not listening to me, Hung Shin!

863
01:01:25,220 --> 01:01:27,972
You have to be very precise.

864
01:01:28,056 --> 01:01:30,517
Precise...

865
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,018
I say!

866
01:01:32,101 --> 01:01:33,270
You there!

867
01:01:33,353 --> 01:01:36,440
I have a proposition.

868
01:01:36,523 --> 01:01:39,901
How would you men like to participate

869
01:01:39,984 --> 01:01:43,071
in the birth of something extraordinary?

870
01:01:43,155 --> 01:01:47,242
Well, we ain't got time for that,
but you can have your brown thing back.

871
01:01:48,618 --> 01:01:50,704
What's so damnably important

872
01:01:50,787 --> 01:01:53,165
that you need to miss
your rendezvous with history?

873
01:01:53,248 --> 01:01:56,125
We gotta save our daddy,
Frank Stockburn.

874
01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:57,669
Frank Stockburn, the outlaw?

875
01:01:57,752 --> 01:02:00,088
- You know our dad?
- Without a doubt.

876
01:02:00,172 --> 01:02:02,757
One of the best poker players
I've ever played against.

877
01:02:02,841 --> 01:02:07,846
I played him in Ezekiel Grant's
annual Valentine's Day game down in Yuma.

878
01:02:07,929 --> 01:02:12,809
Thousands of dollars on the table,
but Stockburn doesn't bat an eyelash.

879
01:02:12,892 --> 01:02:16,730
He happen to mention anything
about what his biggest score was?

880
01:02:16,813 --> 01:02:20,149
Over in Utah?
A guy named Smiley Harris?

881
01:02:21,150 --> 01:02:22,652
I'll make you a deal.

882
01:02:22,736 --> 01:02:26,740
Help me out a bit
and I'll tell you all I know.

883
01:02:26,823 --> 01:02:29,493
Deal. Tommy Dunson.

884
01:02:29,576 --> 01:02:33,205
Abner Doubleday.
Let's play ball.

885
01:02:39,419 --> 01:02:44,383
Welcome, my friends, to the first ever
playing of a new sport.

886
01:02:44,466 --> 01:02:48,345
A sport of my own devising.

887
01:02:48,428 --> 01:02:54,643
On this field, two ten-person teams
will engage in a battle of...

888
01:02:54,726 --> 01:02:56,185
Yes, Qi?

889
01:02:56,270 --> 01:02:59,022
Only 18 people here.

890
01:03:00,148 --> 01:03:06,530
Two nine-person teams will engage in
a battle of strength, speed, and strategy.

891
01:03:06,613 --> 01:03:11,326
One team will go out onto
the field to play defense

892
01:03:11,410 --> 01:03:16,039
while the other team
will take turns hitting this ball...

893
01:03:17,541 --> 01:03:18,958
with a stickie.

894
01:03:19,042 --> 01:03:21,127
What are you gonna call this game?

895
01:03:21,210 --> 01:03:22,462
What else?

896
01:03:22,546 --> 01:03:25,214
Stickie McSchnickens.

897
01:03:27,467 --> 01:03:32,389
Now your goal, ball thrower,
is to get the ball past me two times

898
01:03:32,472 --> 01:03:34,057
without my hitting it.

899
01:03:34,140 --> 01:03:37,226
Fire when ready.

900
01:03:40,605 --> 01:03:44,150
I didn't know you were going
to toss it quite so hard, ball thrower.

901
01:03:44,233 --> 01:03:45,234
All right.

902
01:03:50,782 --> 01:03:53,993
Okay, that's two past ya.
So you're done, right?

903
01:03:54,077 --> 01:03:56,162
No, no, I said three times.

904
01:03:56,245 --> 01:03:57,997
No, you said two.

905
01:03:58,081 --> 01:04:00,875
I said three!
Three strikes and I'm out.

906
01:04:00,959 --> 01:04:03,795
I know what I said, shortstop.

907
01:04:05,171 --> 01:04:08,049
That's your new name.
Short Stop, that's right.

908
01:04:08,132 --> 01:04:09,884
Now and forever.
Forever and ever!

909
01:04:09,968 --> 01:04:11,970
Short Stop.
Short Stop, Short Stop.

910
01:04:12,053 --> 01:04:13,096
Short Stop.

911
01:04:15,181 --> 01:04:16,558
Yes, all right.

912
01:04:18,310 --> 01:04:19,978
Strike three!
You're out!

913
01:04:20,061 --> 01:04:24,190
No, no, the ball was... too low.

914
01:04:24,273 --> 01:04:29,321
In order for it to count as a strike,
it has to pass through the...

915
01:04:29,404 --> 01:04:30,655
strike zone.

916
01:04:30,739 --> 01:04:32,407
- Strike zone?
- That's right.

917
01:04:32,491 --> 01:04:36,911
And if you don't get the ball past me,
between my knees and my titties,

918
01:04:36,995 --> 01:04:38,162
it's not a strike.

919
01:04:38,246 --> 01:04:39,748
It's a non-strike.

920
01:04:39,831 --> 01:04:41,458
And if you throw me four non-strikes,

921
01:04:41,541 --> 01:04:44,586
I get an express ticket to first base
without my even hitting it.

922
01:04:45,086 --> 01:04:46,380
Oh.

923
01:04:46,463 --> 01:04:47,881
All right, are we ready?

924
01:04:52,511 --> 01:04:55,639
That also gets me to first base...
as well.

925
01:05:06,941 --> 01:05:08,192
Where you going?
Nobody hit it.

926
01:05:08,276 --> 01:05:11,488
I stole the base.
You weren't looking, so I stole it.

927
01:05:11,571 --> 01:05:14,699
You said you could only advance
after you hit the ball!

928
01:05:14,783 --> 01:05:16,993
Not when you're stealing.

929
01:05:17,076 --> 01:05:18,703
That's bullshit.

930
01:05:18,787 --> 01:05:20,038
Okay, Short Stop.

931
01:05:37,889 --> 01:05:38,973
He's moving!

932
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:42,644
Safe!

933
01:05:49,693 --> 01:05:50,694
Gall dang, I don't know.

934
01:05:50,777 --> 01:05:53,780
- That was a tie.
- Yes, and tie goes to the runner!

935
01:05:53,863 --> 01:05:55,449
Why's that?

936
01:05:55,532 --> 01:05:59,869
Because those are the rules
of Stickie McSchnickens, that's why.

937
01:06:02,956 --> 01:06:04,624
All right, it's all mine,
I've got it!

938
01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:07,919
No! No, you can't run.
You cannot run.

939
01:06:08,002 --> 01:06:11,923
Infield fly rule... in full effect.

940
01:06:14,676 --> 01:06:15,719
You're out.

941
01:06:17,596 --> 01:06:19,196
- Here we go, Herm.
- Okay, Herm!

942
01:06:19,263 --> 01:06:20,306
Yeah.

943
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:26,605
Oh!

944
01:06:26,688 --> 01:06:28,482
Oh, I'm not getting that.

945
01:06:28,565 --> 01:06:29,691
Yeah, <i>bueno!</i>

946
01:06:29,774 --> 01:06:33,778
You can just run all the way home.
A home runner.

947
01:06:35,196 --> 01:06:36,906
I need a cold drink.

948
01:06:36,990 --> 01:06:40,702
Let's take a five-minute stretch
and then start the second half.

949
01:06:40,785 --> 01:06:42,496
Mr. Doubleday, we're done.

950
01:06:42,579 --> 01:06:44,623
But we've only played nine innings.

951
01:06:44,706 --> 01:06:48,460
Nine innings is enough.
Tell us about Dad's biggest score.

952
01:06:48,543 --> 01:06:50,128
Fine.

953
01:06:50,211 --> 01:06:56,593
Your father and his gang knocked off
an entire cavalry regiment, 120 men,

954
01:06:56,676 --> 01:06:59,137
five trunks filled with Yankee money.

955
01:07:00,472 --> 01:07:01,598
Where'd that happen?

956
01:07:01,681 --> 01:07:04,601
Up at Sweet Hog Rock...

957
01:07:04,684 --> 01:07:06,561
100 miles due north.

958
01:07:06,645 --> 01:07:08,396
You'll know it when you see it.

959
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,231
Well, fellas,

960
01:07:10,314 --> 01:07:14,318
looks like we're going to Sweet Hog Rock
to find ourselves a singing windmill.

961
01:07:14,402 --> 01:07:16,112
But we still need another 10,000 bucks.

962
01:07:16,195 --> 01:07:18,532
I reckon we'll make a quick stop, then.

963
01:07:18,615 --> 01:07:20,366
Before you go...

964
01:07:20,449 --> 01:07:23,411
do you wanna line up and shake hands
and say "good game" to each other?

965
01:07:24,037 --> 01:07:25,038
No.

966
01:07:26,498 --> 01:07:28,542
Them boys were nice fellers.

967
01:07:28,625 --> 01:07:31,920
Paid in cash.
Kept the profanity to a minimum.

968
01:07:32,003 --> 01:07:35,924
And the Mexican brother knocked
this hard-ass' head off with a shovel?

969
01:07:36,007 --> 01:07:39,761
Dang thing flew nearly 40 feet!
And still a-smilin'.

970
01:07:39,844 --> 01:07:40,845
Oh! Man!

971
01:07:40,929 --> 01:07:43,347
And hasn't stopped yet.

972
01:07:47,185 --> 01:07:52,106
Oh, hell, no!
My man gluing on heads and shit!

973
01:07:52,190 --> 01:07:54,693
Wish he'd glue the head back on my pecker.

974
01:07:54,776 --> 01:07:56,235
What happened to your pecker?

975
01:07:56,319 --> 01:07:59,573
I was part of another gang
before I joined up with y'all.

976
01:07:59,656 --> 01:08:00,740
Texas Stubbies.

977
01:08:00,824 --> 01:08:04,077
Okay,
never mind all that. Okay?

978
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:08,790
Now, Doc, you know which way
them there Ridiculous 6 rode off to?

979
01:08:08,873 --> 01:08:11,459
We're traveling
with a friend of theirs who, uh...

980
01:08:11,543 --> 01:08:13,628
will be real excited to see them.

981
01:08:13,712 --> 01:08:16,089
Well, they headed up north
to the Turquoise Trail.

982
01:08:17,215 --> 01:08:18,800
I can show you on the map over here.

983
01:08:20,885 --> 01:08:23,638
Looking forward to seeing
your man beg for his life?

984
01:08:24,848 --> 01:08:27,058
'Cause that's what's gonna happen,
Smoking Fox.

985
01:08:27,141 --> 01:08:29,686
Chicken pox!

986
01:08:29,769 --> 01:08:32,689
We're gaining on his
Injun-loving ass every day.

987
01:08:32,772 --> 01:08:34,315
He messed with the Left-Eye Gang!

988
01:08:34,398 --> 01:08:35,567
He's gonna be like,

989
01:08:35,650 --> 01:08:42,240
"Wait, how did you find me, and where...
How did you get my girl?"

990
01:08:42,323 --> 01:08:46,452
And then old Dumb Knife's gonna realize
that he's in way over his head.

991
01:08:49,497 --> 01:08:53,417
See, when George Washington
invented America...

992
01:09:11,102 --> 01:09:12,771
Excuse me, Sheriff.

993
01:09:12,854 --> 01:09:14,648
Is there a church in this town?

994
01:09:14,731 --> 01:09:17,901
This is Rattler's Gulch, you halfwit.

995
01:09:17,984 --> 01:09:21,738
The meanest, crookedest,
most hellacious town in the West.

996
01:09:21,821 --> 01:09:25,408
We don't need no preacher telling us
what we can and cannot do.

997
01:09:25,491 --> 01:09:28,244
So it's all right
if I do this to your wife?

998
01:09:49,307 --> 01:09:53,061
I can't wait to see all you nice people
when I'm dangling!

999
01:09:53,144 --> 01:09:54,603
You sick bastard.

1000
01:09:54,688 --> 01:09:56,230
Get this over with.

1001
01:09:56,314 --> 01:10:00,109
You're in for a real treat today.
This is gonna be so much fun.

1002
01:10:08,952 --> 01:10:11,204
I'm just messing with y'all.
I'm fine!

1003
01:10:13,247 --> 01:10:15,124
I call this one Fish Out of Water.

1004
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:34,185
Yeah!

1005
01:10:41,109 --> 01:10:42,151
Yeah!

1006
01:10:42,777 --> 01:10:45,446
Herm, put the hookers back.

1007
01:10:47,198 --> 01:10:48,574
Come on!

1008
01:10:52,078 --> 01:10:55,874
Yeah, you can't catch me!

1009
01:10:58,835 --> 01:11:01,838
He ain't dying, Billy!
He's making a fool of you!

1010
01:11:01,921 --> 01:11:03,464
Whoo-hoo!

1011
01:11:03,547 --> 01:11:04,548
All right, that's it!

1012
01:11:04,632 --> 01:11:06,425
We'll shoot the son of a bitch!

1013
01:11:06,509 --> 01:11:08,136
On my command!

1014
01:11:08,219 --> 01:11:10,304
Ready...

1015
01:11:10,388 --> 01:11:11,680
Aim...

1016
01:11:12,265 --> 01:11:14,058
Fire!

1017
01:11:20,523 --> 01:11:23,777
Wind took him, Tommy.
Came damn close.

1018
01:11:23,860 --> 01:11:26,070
I'm okay!

1019
01:11:26,154 --> 01:11:28,364
Come on, Billy!
Get him!

1020
01:11:28,447 --> 01:11:29,991
We did it!

1021
01:11:32,869 --> 01:11:36,122
I told ya
I got a strong neck!

1022
01:11:49,552 --> 01:11:52,430
We still gotta get to Sweet Hog Rock
before they do.

1023
01:11:52,513 --> 01:11:55,016
Gotta find that singing windmill,
so it ain't over yet.

1024
01:11:55,099 --> 01:11:56,309
We got the money!

1025
01:11:56,392 --> 01:11:59,478
- The Ridiculous 6 got all the money!
- Yeah!

1026
01:11:59,562 --> 01:12:00,646
Yeah!

1027
01:12:02,941 --> 01:12:05,985
Tommy! Tommy! What's Dad like?
Is he funny?

1028
01:12:06,069 --> 01:12:07,653
Yeah, is he a good listener?

1029
01:12:07,736 --> 01:12:09,155
Is he strong?

1030
01:12:13,659 --> 01:12:17,038
All great questions.
I'll tell you this.

1031
01:12:17,121 --> 01:12:19,040
I think you guys are gonna love him.

1032
01:12:20,083 --> 01:12:23,127
But I'm sure he's gonna love you guys.

1033
01:12:25,421 --> 01:12:28,174
So sorry to interrupt
such a tender moment.

1034
01:12:28,257 --> 01:12:31,344
Looks like we stumbled
on bath day, boys!

1035
01:12:33,096 --> 01:12:35,723
I heard you picked up some brothers
along the way, tough guy.

1036
01:12:35,807 --> 01:12:37,809
But I don't see no resemblance.

1037
01:12:37,892 --> 01:12:41,479
I do, they all look like my butthole.

1038
01:12:44,732 --> 01:12:46,650
So guess what time it is, boys?

1039
01:12:46,734 --> 01:12:48,027
Payback time!

1040
01:12:48,111 --> 01:12:51,489
Any last words,
No Knife?

1041
01:12:58,496 --> 01:12:59,956
I told ya I could hold my breath good.

1042
01:13:00,039 --> 01:13:01,249
Yeah, Danny boy!

1043
01:13:01,332 --> 01:13:04,043
What are you doing, man?
We gotta go!

1044
01:13:06,670 --> 01:13:09,090
- Oh, jackpot, boys!
- No!

1045
01:13:10,299 --> 01:13:12,093
- That's ours!
- Hyah!

1046
01:13:16,264 --> 01:13:17,390
Rusty!

1047
01:13:17,473 --> 01:13:19,808
Rusty, no, come back!

1048
01:13:19,893 --> 01:13:20,935
No.

1049
01:13:32,821 --> 01:13:36,868
How are we gonna save him?
We're startin' all over.

1050
01:13:36,951 --> 01:13:39,287
Is there any more good places
we can rob?

1051
01:13:39,370 --> 01:13:43,082
You know like a burro-grooming place
or a shoe store for burros?

1052
01:13:43,749 --> 01:13:46,502
Half the lawmen in the West
are already looking for us.

1053
01:13:46,585 --> 01:13:49,255
So what?
Look, we can't stop.

1054
01:13:49,338 --> 01:13:50,589
They're going to kill him!

1055
01:13:50,673 --> 01:13:53,051
Ain't no difference.
He's dying anyways.

1056
01:13:57,096 --> 01:13:58,764
Dad's sick.

1057
01:13:59,933 --> 01:14:01,559
I'm sorry I didn't tell y'all.

1058
01:14:02,435 --> 01:14:04,896
There's a good chance
he's dead already.

1059
01:14:07,731 --> 01:14:11,610
But there's a chance he's not.
You got to meet him, Tommy.

1060
01:14:11,694 --> 01:14:13,612
The rest of us...

1061
01:14:13,696 --> 01:14:16,199
Even if it was just for five minutes,
it'd be worth it.

1062
01:14:16,282 --> 01:14:22,080
If I don't talk to Dad, I'll die with this
dirty secret burnin' a hole in my guts.

1063
01:14:22,163 --> 01:14:26,834
Danito, whatever it is you did,
you have to forgive yourself, man.

1064
01:14:26,918 --> 01:14:29,253
You wouldn't say that if you know
what I done.

1065
01:14:29,337 --> 01:14:31,797
- Everybody's got secrets, Danny.
- Yeah.

1066
01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:34,258
You guys are the first people
I told I was black.

1067
01:14:34,342 --> 01:14:36,802
You know how good that made me feel?

1068
01:14:36,885 --> 01:14:38,972
We're your brothers.

1069
01:14:39,055 --> 01:14:41,057
You can tell us anything.

1070
01:14:42,808 --> 01:14:43,935
I, uh...

1071
01:14:47,271 --> 01:14:50,024
I used to work
for the President of the United States.

1072
01:14:51,817 --> 01:14:53,819
I was his personal bodyguard.

1073
01:14:54,820 --> 01:14:56,072
One of the best.

1074
01:14:56,990 --> 01:14:58,866
Till one night...

1075
01:15:03,912 --> 01:15:07,166
Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go
hit the little boys' room.

1076
01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:09,502
Are you shitting me?

1077
01:15:09,585 --> 01:15:11,837
Come on!
You'll be fine, superstar.

1078
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,174
Can I get ya something on the way back?
<i>Agua?</i> Brewski?

1079
01:15:15,258 --> 01:15:16,384
No!

1080
01:15:16,467 --> 01:15:19,678
Mrs. Lincoln, how about one of them
big pretzels or a little pillow?

1081
01:15:19,762 --> 01:15:21,680
I hear this play's kind of a long one.

1082
01:15:22,806 --> 01:15:25,309
All right, fair enough.
I'll be back in two.

1083
01:15:32,441 --> 01:15:34,277
Where's the president's box?

1084
01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:36,988
- John Wilkes Booth, the actor?
- Yeah.

1085
01:15:37,071 --> 01:15:39,823
No way, man! Big fan!

1086
01:15:39,907 --> 01:15:41,742
- You wanna say hi to the president?
- Yeah.

1087
01:15:41,825 --> 01:15:44,453
He'd get a real kick out of that.
Last door on the left.

1088
01:15:44,537 --> 01:15:46,539
- Thank you.
- Really cool.

1089
01:15:46,622 --> 01:15:49,042
Wow! Love that guy!

1090
01:15:54,547 --> 01:15:58,551
Abe!

1091
01:16:02,930 --> 01:16:07,435
How can you go on living your life
knowing you harmed so many people?

1092
01:16:07,518 --> 01:16:09,353
That's what I wanna ask Dad.

1093
01:16:09,437 --> 01:16:12,815
Hey, you ain't the one
who pulled that trigger.

1094
01:16:12,898 --> 01:16:15,859
But if Dad's gotta be
the one who tells you that...

1095
01:16:18,029 --> 01:16:19,780
then let's go get that money.

1096
01:16:19,863 --> 01:16:22,366
I just wish I knew how.

1097
01:16:25,994 --> 01:16:27,246
Herm's got an idea.

1098
01:16:28,622 --> 01:16:30,041
He just can't express it.

1099
01:16:31,667 --> 01:16:33,752
I just wish somebody here
could speak Herm.

1100
01:16:40,426 --> 01:16:42,720
<i>Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.</i>

1101
01:16:42,803 --> 01:16:47,350
<i>That's when Ezekiel Grant has his annual
high-stakes poker game.</i>

1102
01:16:47,433 --> 01:16:51,187
<i>There'll be oodles of money there.
Oodles, I say.</i>

1103
01:16:51,270 --> 01:16:52,730
Ooh.

1104
01:16:52,813 --> 01:16:55,816
- I don't know. That sounds risky.
- What's risky?

1105
01:16:55,899 --> 01:17:00,113
He's suggesting we...
knock off Ezekiel Grant's poker game.

1106
01:17:00,196 --> 01:17:01,447
It's in Yuma tomorrow night.

1107
01:17:01,530 --> 01:17:03,782
Yuma's less than a day's walk from here.

1108
01:17:03,866 --> 01:17:07,620
That poker game, there's practically
gonna be an army protectin' it.

1109
01:17:07,703 --> 01:17:11,874
If Tommy says we can beat 'em,
I'll believe him.

1110
01:17:11,957 --> 01:17:14,918
We all will.

1111
01:17:17,171 --> 01:17:18,506
We can beat 'em...

1112
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:20,924
for Dad.

1113
01:17:21,008 --> 01:17:22,635
For Dad!

1114
01:17:37,650 --> 01:17:41,612
I hope you like the gift I'm giving you
for Valentine's Day, Ezekiel.

1115
01:17:41,695 --> 01:17:46,033
I'll give you a hint.
One-hour massage, no charge.

1116
01:17:46,117 --> 01:17:48,411
Oh, Susannah.

1117
01:17:48,494 --> 01:17:50,371
You know what gift I'd really love?

1118
01:17:50,454 --> 01:17:53,124
If you would just shut up!

1119
01:17:53,749 --> 01:17:56,544
Nothing ruins a good poker game more...

1120
01:17:56,627 --> 01:18:00,423
than a lady jabbering on and on...

1121
01:18:00,506 --> 01:18:02,716
How romantic.

1122
01:18:05,636 --> 01:18:06,637
- Hello!
- Hello!

1123
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:09,097
Well, General Custer!

1124
01:18:09,182 --> 01:18:10,516
Yes, at your service.

1125
01:18:10,599 --> 01:18:12,143
Mr. Mark Twain.

1126
01:18:12,226 --> 01:18:14,270
- Word up!
- Gentlemen, do come in.

1127
01:18:14,353 --> 01:18:18,941
Yo, Zeke, big boy, I was just going off
to the General here about my new book.

1128
01:18:19,024 --> 01:18:21,235
- It's a sequel to <i>Tom Sawyer.</i>
- Ooh.

1129
01:18:21,319 --> 01:18:24,197
It's about Sawyer's home slice,
Huckleberry Finn.

1130
01:18:24,280 --> 01:18:28,116
White boy goes raftin' with a brother.
People gonna lose their shit!

1131
01:18:29,285 --> 01:18:33,539
And, General Custer, I see you've let
your dashing blond hair grow out.

1132
01:18:33,622 --> 01:18:36,792
Well, yes, the barber down at
the regiment is just awful,

1133
01:18:36,875 --> 01:18:40,546
so I had two choices,
either let it grow or get scalped.

1134
01:18:40,629 --> 01:18:43,341
And I ain't gonna let that happen.

1135
01:18:43,424 --> 01:18:46,302
Now, will our old friend
from Tombstone be joining us?

1136
01:18:46,385 --> 01:18:47,428
Late as usual.

1137
01:18:47,511 --> 01:18:52,891
But we have a new player,
a wealthy Mexican coffee bean rancher.

1138
01:18:52,975 --> 01:18:54,059
Am I tardy-o?

1139
01:18:54,142 --> 01:18:57,104
Oh. Sneaky little Mexican.

1140
01:18:58,439 --> 01:19:00,566
May I present Don Don Diego.

1141
01:19:03,444 --> 01:19:06,154
We run a gentleman's game here, Mr. Diego.

1142
01:19:06,239 --> 01:19:09,783
Your, uh, two bodyguards
are completely unnecessary.

1143
01:19:09,867 --> 01:19:11,702
Bodyguards?

1144
01:19:12,703 --> 01:19:14,330
You're mistaken, General.

1145
01:19:14,413 --> 01:19:16,332
This is, um...

1146
01:19:16,415 --> 01:19:20,461
Chimichanga... my loyal manservant.

1147
01:19:22,255 --> 01:19:23,297
God bless you.

1148
01:19:23,881 --> 01:19:24,882
And, um...

1149
01:19:26,925 --> 01:19:28,594
Blanco Beardio.

1150
01:19:29,762 --> 01:19:32,723
He'll be providing the entertainment
for this afternoon's festivities.

1151
01:19:32,806 --> 01:19:34,308
Well, drop me a beat.

1152
01:19:40,314 --> 01:19:41,315
Okay.

1153
01:19:43,025 --> 01:19:44,067
All right.

1154
01:19:46,111 --> 01:19:47,655
Here we go now.

1155
01:19:54,287 --> 01:19:57,623
Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000.

1156
01:19:57,706 --> 01:19:59,124
Fifteen large?

1157
01:19:59,207 --> 01:20:00,959
Are you sure General Custard
can swing that?

1158
01:20:01,043 --> 01:20:05,506
It's Custer, not "Custard."
There is no "D." I'm not a dessert.

1159
01:20:05,589 --> 01:20:08,426
Boom, I just dropped some satire
on your ass, General!

1160
01:20:10,052 --> 01:20:11,094
You got me!

1161
01:20:12,638 --> 01:20:15,223
Hey! Now, when Ramon gives
the signal that the time is right,

1162
01:20:15,308 --> 01:20:16,725
that's when we move in.

1163
01:20:16,809 --> 01:20:18,269
You remember the signal, right?

1164
01:20:24,191 --> 01:20:26,569
- Gentlemen.
- You know where to go, Marshal.

1165
01:20:27,152 --> 01:20:28,612
Oh, hell, no!

1166
01:20:28,696 --> 01:20:30,531
That's Wyatt Earp!

1167
01:20:30,614 --> 01:20:32,950
The fastest gun in the West?

1168
01:20:35,578 --> 01:20:36,954
All right, all right, all right!

1169
01:20:37,037 --> 01:20:40,416
- Oh, Wyatt Earp, as I live and breathe!
- Wyatt Earp.

1170
01:20:40,499 --> 01:20:42,209
- You're here!
- Wyatt Earp.

1171
01:20:42,293 --> 01:20:43,711
Sorry I'm late, everybody.

1172
01:20:43,794 --> 01:20:48,006
But apparently, there's some new gang
out there robbing everybody blind.

1173
01:20:48,090 --> 01:20:49,800
Oh, they call themselves
the Ridiculous 6.

1174
01:20:49,883 --> 01:20:53,429
I swear, a man can't ride
five miles in this territory

1175
01:20:53,512 --> 01:20:56,974
without running into outlaws,
rattlesnakes, Injuns and...

1176
01:20:57,057 --> 01:20:59,935
Hey! Why don't you let me
worry about the Injuns?

1177
01:21:00,018 --> 01:21:02,270
Will do, General.

1178
01:21:04,815 --> 01:21:06,024
What's shakin', Twain?

1179
01:21:06,108 --> 01:21:08,694
Hey, I'm good on anything.
Just like gravy, baby.

1180
01:21:08,777 --> 01:21:10,571
- Good to see you, my man.
- You too, man.

1181
01:21:10,654 --> 01:21:13,324
Hey! I finally read <i>Prince and the Pauper.</i>

1182
01:21:13,407 --> 01:21:14,658
Oh, is that right?

1183
01:21:14,742 --> 01:21:15,993
Didn't get it.

1184
01:21:16,994 --> 01:21:18,078
For reals?

1185
01:21:19,204 --> 01:21:22,082
Satire! Boom! I got ya!

1186
01:21:22,165 --> 01:21:25,085
- I'm just pulling your leg.
- Oh, man.

1187
01:21:25,168 --> 01:21:26,629
I can't read.

1188
01:21:29,673 --> 01:21:31,842
Good one with the... satire.

1189
01:21:31,925 --> 01:21:33,677
Funny.

1190
01:21:35,971 --> 01:21:37,014
Who's this idiot?

1191
01:21:39,266 --> 01:21:41,560
Um... I am Don...

1192
01:21:41,644 --> 01:21:43,270
Don Don Diego.

1193
01:21:44,605 --> 01:21:46,607
Well, Don, I'm Wyatt...

1194
01:21:46,690 --> 01:21:47,900
Wyatt Wyatt Earp.

1195
01:21:52,905 --> 01:21:54,573
Got him.

1196
01:21:54,657 --> 01:21:59,370
Now let's play
some cards!

1197
01:22:19,473 --> 01:22:21,392
Please calm yourself!

1198
01:22:22,518 --> 01:22:25,813
Let's get inside before this Wyatt Earp
ruins our plan.

1199
01:22:25,896 --> 01:22:28,315
But there's no way for you to sneak
past them guys, Tommy.

1200
01:22:28,399 --> 01:22:31,652
There's no rocks, no trees,
no nothing to hide behind.

1201
01:22:31,735 --> 01:22:36,198
No need to hide, brother,
when you are friends with the wind.

1202
01:22:36,281 --> 01:22:38,992
I'm telling you, down there,
they don't call it "Mexico."

1203
01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:44,206
It's "Mehico." The "X" is an "H."
I'm presuming Texas is "Tehas."

1204
01:22:45,958 --> 01:22:48,085
Now, what's this?

1205
01:22:48,168 --> 01:22:50,713
Just a tumbleweed,
you jumpy bastard.

1206
01:23:07,020 --> 01:23:09,857
That is some mystical shit.

1207
01:23:13,652 --> 01:23:17,698
I wish to move the dresser
in my bedroom closer to the window,

1208
01:23:17,781 --> 01:23:21,034
but I haven't the strength
to do it myself.

1209
01:23:21,118 --> 01:23:24,872
I'd love to help, ma'am, but I really
should keep playing the piano.

1210
01:23:26,457 --> 01:23:29,710
No one will even know you're gone.

1211
01:23:34,965 --> 01:23:37,801
- Gentlemen, cough up your buy-ins.
- All right!

1212
01:23:37,885 --> 01:23:39,177
Make it rain like Twain.

1213
01:23:39,261 --> 01:23:40,971
- Take that and that.
- Yeah!

1214
01:23:41,054 --> 01:23:44,266
Sure is some good hooch there, Zeke.
Where'd you find that?

1215
01:23:44,349 --> 01:23:48,812
Oh, I got that from a case
about, uh, 20 years ago.

1216
01:23:48,896 --> 01:23:52,357
In fact, uh, you know that shack
up by Jawbone Falls?

1217
01:23:52,440 --> 01:23:54,985
- Yeah.
- There was a lady living there.

1218
01:23:55,068 --> 01:23:57,655
It was one of Frank Stockburn's
many paramours.

1219
01:23:57,738 --> 01:24:02,409
Now this was one of the ugliest ladies
I've ever seen in my life.

1220
01:24:02,493 --> 01:24:04,452
Sounds like a real bucket of turds.

1221
01:24:04,537 --> 01:24:08,624
But she was a very talented
distiller of alcohol.

1222
01:24:08,707 --> 01:24:11,126
So, while she...

1223
01:24:11,209 --> 01:24:14,588
While she's loading up my coach,
her young boy comes out,

1224
01:24:14,672 --> 01:24:20,218
this big shambling oaf,
mute, filthy as a hog,

1225
01:24:20,302 --> 01:24:23,722
and he starts doing
this horrible little tap dance

1226
01:24:23,806 --> 01:24:26,767
whilst singing "The Star-Spangled Banner."

1227
01:24:26,850 --> 01:24:30,145
Well, not singing it, really,
but grunting it, like a caveman!

1228
01:24:30,228 --> 01:24:33,273
<i>? Oh, say can you see?</i>

1229
01:24:35,150 --> 01:24:36,819
You know,
he wants me to throw him some pennies,

1230
01:24:36,902 --> 01:24:38,862
so I fished a coin out of my pocket

1231
01:24:38,946 --> 01:24:40,948
and I guess I don't know my own strength.

1232
01:24:41,031 --> 01:24:44,660
I tossed it, hit him in the mouth,
and knocked his tooth out!

1233
01:24:46,995 --> 01:24:48,413
What an asshole!

1234
01:24:49,998 --> 01:24:50,999
Mama.

1235
01:24:51,625 --> 01:24:55,838
In any event, I still have
one bottle left from that case.

1236
01:24:55,921 --> 01:25:00,551
I'll go fetch it and we can drink a toast
to that awful woman and her hideous son.

1237
01:25:01,969 --> 01:25:05,180
Oh, she was ugly!
You wouldn't even sleep with her.

1238
01:25:09,351 --> 01:25:12,229
Say, Don Don Diego...

1239
01:25:12,312 --> 01:25:13,606
where's your buy-in?

1240
01:25:13,689 --> 01:25:15,482
I thought it was 15 grand a man.

1241
01:25:15,566 --> 01:25:16,734
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1242
01:25:16,817 --> 01:25:18,026
Uh...

1243
01:25:27,077 --> 01:25:28,746
Let's see. Ah!

1244
01:25:42,593 --> 01:25:43,594
It's you!

1245
01:25:43,677 --> 01:25:44,803
Uh-huh.

1246
01:25:54,813 --> 01:25:55,981
What?

1247
01:25:56,690 --> 01:25:58,609
What "what"?

1248
01:25:58,692 --> 01:26:00,568
What are you so surprised about?

1249
01:26:00,653 --> 01:26:05,407
Just so surprised at all the...
the fun that we're having here,

1250
01:26:05,490 --> 01:26:07,785
with the card and the money
and the booze and...

1251
01:26:09,953 --> 01:26:13,040
You know, I make that same face when
I put my cologne on in the morning,

1252
01:26:13,123 --> 01:26:15,208
especially when I'm home alone.

1253
01:26:15,292 --> 01:26:16,543
You know what I think?

1254
01:26:16,627 --> 01:26:20,338
I think Don Don Diego isn't really
a coffee bean rancher at all.

1255
01:26:20,422 --> 01:26:24,092
And his true purpose here is to rob us.

1256
01:26:26,386 --> 01:26:29,097
Don't make me kill you, Mr. Earp.

1257
01:26:29,181 --> 01:26:30,849
Hands up high.

1258
01:26:30,933 --> 01:26:33,894
Oh, snap!
You got the drop on Wyatt Earp?

1259
01:26:33,977 --> 01:26:37,522
It's <i>mi hermano.</i>
He's one bad <i>hombre.</i>

1260
01:26:40,776 --> 01:26:42,194
No disrespect, fellas.

1261
01:26:42,277 --> 01:26:45,656
We're gonna have to tie you up,
and we'll have to borrow your horses.

1262
01:26:46,865 --> 01:26:48,491
Ooh, what'd I miss?

1263
01:26:50,118 --> 01:26:53,163
Sweet Hog Rock,
here we come!

1264
01:26:56,583 --> 01:26:58,752
Giddy up, Burro.

1265
01:26:58,836 --> 01:27:00,045
Come on, Ramon!

1266
01:27:13,892 --> 01:27:15,518
Right behind you, Tommy!

1267
01:27:16,519 --> 01:27:19,022
Hurry up, Burro!
Move your ass!

1268
01:27:25,070 --> 01:27:26,910
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

1269
01:27:29,825 --> 01:27:31,869
Yeah, I think we found it.

1270
01:27:31,952 --> 01:27:36,081
That is one sweet hog right there.

1271
01:27:36,164 --> 01:27:39,877
That is a sweet, majestic hog.

1272
01:27:39,960 --> 01:27:42,295
Yeah, that's a sweet one for sure.

1273
01:27:43,255 --> 01:27:44,381
It's all right.

1274
01:27:46,049 --> 01:27:50,053
I'm confused.
I don't see a hog or a pig anywhere.

1275
01:27:50,137 --> 01:27:53,724
All I see is the big old rock
that looks like a weenie pee-pee.

1276
01:27:58,020 --> 01:28:00,773
- Oh, you guys call a pee-pee a "hog."
- Yeah.

1277
01:28:00,856 --> 01:28:03,650
- That's weird. I like it, though.
- Yeah. Okay.

1278
01:28:03,734 --> 01:28:06,444
Problem is, I don't see
no singing windmill anywhere.

1279
01:28:06,528 --> 01:28:08,405
Wait...

1280
01:28:08,488 --> 01:28:09,572
I hear it.

1281
01:28:10,824 --> 01:28:12,492
Yeah, it's coming from over there.

1282
01:28:12,575 --> 01:28:15,662
Ah! Daddy! Daddy!

1283
01:28:16,329 --> 01:28:18,498
Daddy!
Huh?

1284
01:28:18,581 --> 01:28:19,666
Whoa...

1285
01:28:20,793 --> 01:28:23,796
We're saved! We're saved!

1286
01:28:25,422 --> 01:28:28,926
Oh, it's just these assholes.

1287
01:28:29,009 --> 01:28:30,718
What the hell happened to you guys?

1288
01:28:30,803 --> 01:28:37,184
We was headed west to Frisco
after we absconded with your loot.

1289
01:28:39,269 --> 01:28:41,814
But we ran into these real bad characters.

1290
01:28:41,897 --> 01:28:45,525
It was Cicero something
and his crazy-ass gang.

1291
01:28:46,777 --> 01:28:49,321
Cicero was here?
Then he left?

1292
01:28:49,404 --> 01:28:53,075
He left us in the dirt for fun.

1293
01:28:53,158 --> 01:28:54,701
Ow! Ow, ow!

1294
01:28:55,410 --> 01:28:56,453
Who does that?

1295
01:28:56,536 --> 01:28:58,872
Sicko!

1296
01:29:00,582 --> 01:29:03,794
If this is where the singing windmill is,
then why would they just up and leave?

1297
01:29:03,877 --> 01:29:07,297
Maybe that Stickie McSchnickens guy
was just pulling our leg.

1298
01:29:07,380 --> 01:29:10,592
They went north...
about two hours ago.

1299
01:29:10,675 --> 01:29:11,885
Oh, yeah! Tommy can track 'em.

1300
01:29:11,969 --> 01:29:13,887
Let's saddle up.
We're burning daylight.

1301
01:29:13,971 --> 01:29:15,013
Wait!

1302
01:29:15,097 --> 01:29:17,557
You can't just leave us here,
you gotta get us out!

1303
01:29:17,640 --> 01:29:19,101
You don't need to... Hey, hey, hey!

1304
01:29:19,184 --> 01:29:20,352
We still got the money!

1305
01:29:20,435 --> 01:29:23,355
Yeah, I hid it in my pants.
We'll give it back to ya!

1306
01:29:23,438 --> 01:29:24,898
We don't need no more.
Let's go!

1307
01:29:26,984 --> 01:29:29,527
Hey! Can you at least
help me pick these ants

1308
01:29:29,611 --> 01:29:32,239
out of my beard before you head out?

1309
01:29:32,322 --> 01:29:33,573
Please?

1310
01:29:33,656 --> 01:29:36,159
Tell you what,
we'll dig you up on one condition.

1311
01:29:36,243 --> 01:29:38,578
You say it, we'll do it!

1312
01:29:38,661 --> 01:29:40,998
That you give up your lives of crime

1313
01:29:41,081 --> 01:29:44,376
and take this second chance to start
doing good by people.

1314
01:29:44,459 --> 01:29:46,836
- I'd rather die!
- Hell, no! I ain't doing that!

1315
01:29:46,920 --> 01:29:49,297
No way! Dumb Indian half!

1316
01:29:50,257 --> 01:29:51,591
That was a joke!
That was a joke!

1317
01:29:51,674 --> 01:29:53,969
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy, Daddy!

1318
01:30:02,394 --> 01:30:04,396
Now what?
East or west?

1319
01:30:04,479 --> 01:30:05,563
Whoa.

1320
01:30:18,118 --> 01:30:20,078
Late in the day.

1321
01:30:20,162 --> 01:30:22,747
Lot of traffic been going through here.

1322
01:30:22,830 --> 01:30:24,416
It's going to take a minute.

1323
01:30:24,499 --> 01:30:27,544
Well, we must be getting mighty close.

1324
01:30:27,627 --> 01:30:30,713
They'd better be treating Dad well,
or they're gonna have to answer to us.

1325
01:30:30,797 --> 01:30:32,549
There he is.

1326
01:30:32,632 --> 01:30:33,926
There's the man himself.

1327
01:30:34,009 --> 01:30:35,885
- Look at that handsome <i>hombre.</i>
- Yeah.

1328
01:30:35,969 --> 01:30:38,096
That's where we get our good looks.

1329
01:30:38,180 --> 01:30:40,348
Let me see ol' Pop.

1330
01:30:52,945 --> 01:30:54,988
Does he still
look like that, Tommy?

1331
01:30:56,073 --> 01:30:57,157
Tommy?

1332
01:30:58,116 --> 01:30:59,617
Yeah, he does.

1333
01:31:00,785 --> 01:31:03,413
Let's set up camp tonight.
Right out there.

1334
01:31:03,496 --> 01:31:04,831
But we can't waste any time.

1335
01:31:04,914 --> 01:31:08,085
Chico... I can't figure it out right now.

1336
01:31:08,168 --> 01:31:09,336
I gotta...

1337
01:31:09,419 --> 01:31:11,421
Just give me till sunrise.
Let me think.

1338
01:31:41,326 --> 01:31:42,660
<i>Dear brothers,</i>

1339
01:31:42,744 --> 01:31:47,040
<i>by the time you read this,
I will have caught up with Dad.</i>

1340
01:31:47,124 --> 01:31:50,918
<i>And I'm sure you're sore at me
for sneaking out on you.</i>

1341
01:31:51,003 --> 01:31:56,758
<i>But this fellow, Cicero, who took Pa,
also took my mother's life,</i>

1342
01:31:56,841 --> 01:31:59,886
<i>and I mean to make him pay for that.</i>

1343
01:31:59,969 --> 01:32:01,929
<i>Things might get messy.</i>

1344
01:32:02,014 --> 01:32:05,225
<i>I can live
with all the bad stuff we've done,</i>

1345
01:32:05,308 --> 01:32:10,772
<i>the hold-ups, the burglaries,
the accidental decapitation,</i>

1346
01:32:10,855 --> 01:32:15,235
<i>but I couldn't live with myself
if something happened to one of you.</i>

1347
01:32:15,318 --> 01:32:20,490
<i>So stay put and I'll be back with Dad
as soon as I can.</i>

1348
01:32:20,573 --> 01:32:22,450
<i>And if I don't come back,</i>

1349
01:32:22,534 --> 01:32:26,663
<i>know that I love you boys
with all my heart.</i>

1350
01:32:26,746 --> 01:32:29,249
<i>Your brother, Tommy.</i>

1351
01:32:43,888 --> 01:32:45,223
Whoa.

1352
01:32:54,316 --> 01:32:56,359
<i>Down at Silver Canyon...</i>

1353
01:32:56,443 --> 01:32:58,903
Meeting Betty Dunson...

1354
01:32:58,986 --> 01:33:02,199
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.

1355
01:33:04,367 --> 01:33:06,411
Mom was his biggest score.

1356
01:33:08,080 --> 01:33:09,081
Hyah.

1357
01:33:17,172 --> 01:33:18,173
Here we are.

1358
01:33:18,256 --> 01:33:20,550
We'd better not have come
all this way for nothing.

1359
01:33:20,633 --> 01:33:23,553
- I want the money, Frank.
- I know what you want.

1360
01:33:24,512 --> 01:33:26,306
There's your money.

1361
01:33:26,389 --> 01:33:27,557
Count it.

1362
01:33:27,640 --> 01:33:29,392
Tommy!

1363
01:33:29,476 --> 01:33:30,768
Oh, look who showed up.

1364
01:33:30,852 --> 01:33:34,272
I didn't know if somebody
dug up what you buried, Pa,

1365
01:33:34,356 --> 01:33:36,941
so I wanted to make sure
you were covered either way.

1366
01:33:37,024 --> 01:33:38,860
Thank you, son.

1367
01:33:38,943 --> 01:33:40,653
Well, ain't that a good boy.

1368
01:33:40,737 --> 01:33:42,364
That's my boy.

1369
01:33:42,447 --> 01:33:44,866
Well, it's been a pleasure, Frank.

1370
01:33:44,949 --> 01:33:46,701
But, uh...

1371
01:33:46,784 --> 01:33:48,035
we'll be on our way.

1372
01:33:48,120 --> 01:33:49,871
Not so fast.

1373
01:33:49,954 --> 01:33:52,999
You and me got some unfinished business.

1374
01:33:53,082 --> 01:33:55,293
No, our business is done.

1375
01:33:55,377 --> 01:33:59,131
Pa... you remember how I told you Ma died?

1376
01:33:59,214 --> 01:34:00,215
Yeah.

1377
01:34:00,298 --> 01:34:04,051
Well, the son of a bitch who shot her...

1378
01:34:04,136 --> 01:34:06,263
had a tattoo on his hand...

1379
01:34:08,431 --> 01:34:10,475
just like Cicero here.

1380
01:34:11,393 --> 01:34:13,645
What, you mean...

1381
01:34:13,728 --> 01:34:15,438
my little horseshoe?

1382
01:34:15,522 --> 01:34:17,732
That's always brought me luck.

1383
01:34:18,316 --> 01:34:20,777
Especially when I was shooting somebody.

1384
01:34:20,860 --> 01:34:24,071
Well, killer, your luck just ran out.

1385
01:34:25,240 --> 01:34:27,784
Your hand touch that knife, boy,

1386
01:34:27,867 --> 01:34:30,245
it'll be the last thing you ever touch.

1387
01:34:30,328 --> 01:34:32,664
Oh, I ain't using these knives.

1388
01:34:33,540 --> 01:34:35,417
No.

1389
01:34:35,500 --> 01:34:37,710
Not for my mama.

1390
01:34:37,794 --> 01:34:41,964
I saved a special one just for you.

1391
01:34:56,313 --> 01:34:58,481
Now you die, Injun-lover.

1392
01:35:01,609 --> 01:35:03,570
He dies, you die.

1393
01:35:06,281 --> 01:35:10,285
Fourteen of us, six of you.
Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

1394
01:35:10,368 --> 01:35:12,704
Make that twelve of us.

1395
01:35:17,375 --> 01:35:18,376
Twelve of us!

1396
01:35:22,880 --> 01:35:25,258
I ain't sign up for this shit.

1397
01:35:57,915 --> 01:35:59,125
You seeing this?

1398
01:35:59,208 --> 01:36:00,835
- It's not working.
- What are you doing?

1399
01:36:00,918 --> 01:36:02,795
Don't look like a tumbleweed at all, Herm.

1400
01:36:02,879 --> 01:36:04,213
Herm, come back!
Come back, Herm.

1401
01:36:05,673 --> 01:36:08,468
All right, all right.
Now, everybody just calm down.

1402
01:36:08,551 --> 01:36:12,680
A man's entitled...
to kill his mother's killer.

1403
01:36:12,764 --> 01:36:18,436
Plus... that's one less guy
you've got to split the money with!

1404
01:36:18,520 --> 01:36:21,273
Good thinking, Frank.
Let's ride!

1405
01:36:21,356 --> 01:36:23,608
- Yeah!
- Yeah, get on out of here!

1406
01:36:26,319 --> 01:36:30,407
Good job, son.
I'm really proud of you.

1407
01:36:30,490 --> 01:36:34,494
And getting your friends to come
all the way out here with you, brilliant.

1408
01:36:34,577 --> 01:36:39,541
Well, sir...
they ain't just my friends, they, uh...

1409
01:36:39,624 --> 01:36:40,667
They're my brothers.

1410
01:36:47,590 --> 01:36:48,841
Five?

1411
01:36:48,925 --> 01:36:51,010
You had fun, didn't you, sir?

1412
01:36:53,596 --> 01:36:56,599
Well, I'm gonna introduce myself.

1413
01:36:56,683 --> 01:36:58,851
I think they'd like that.

1414
01:37:03,981 --> 01:37:07,610
Frank Stockburn, your dad.

1415
01:37:09,612 --> 01:37:12,740
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

1416
01:37:12,824 --> 01:37:14,617
- Father.
- Son.

1417
01:37:16,911 --> 01:37:18,955
This is my burro.

1418
01:37:19,038 --> 01:37:21,040
Proud to know you, Burro.

1419
01:37:22,959 --> 01:37:24,251
He's proud.

1420
01:37:24,336 --> 01:37:27,672
You must be, uh,
Saint Louis, right?

1421
01:37:27,755 --> 01:37:29,006
Chico.

1422
01:37:29,090 --> 01:37:32,259
Boy, you got your mom's muscles.

1423
01:37:33,511 --> 01:37:34,929
You a prizefighter?

1424
01:37:36,305 --> 01:37:39,266
No, actually, I'm a...
piano player.

1425
01:37:39,351 --> 01:37:40,977
Oh, well, I'll be!

1426
01:37:41,060 --> 01:37:44,897
You know, I've been known
to tickle the ivories myself.

1427
01:37:44,981 --> 01:37:46,983
Now and then, you know.

1428
01:37:47,066 --> 01:37:49,318
We should play together sometime.

1429
01:37:51,237 --> 01:37:53,072
I'd like that, Dad.

1430
01:37:53,155 --> 01:37:54,991
I'd like that a lot.

1431
01:37:55,074 --> 01:37:56,659
Yeah, son, we'll do that.

1432
01:38:07,294 --> 01:38:09,714
You must be Delilah's boy.

1433
01:38:11,758 --> 01:38:15,344
Boy, she made some fine,
fine whiskey.

1434
01:38:15,428 --> 01:38:16,638
Ooh, yeah.

1435
01:38:18,390 --> 01:38:22,477
She must've been really hitting it hard
when she was pregnant with you.

1436
01:38:32,236 --> 01:38:34,030
Atta boy, atta boy.

1437
01:38:34,739 --> 01:38:36,908
Da-da.

1438
01:38:36,991 --> 01:38:39,035
And, uh... you are?

1439
01:38:39,118 --> 01:38:42,955
I'm Lil Pete. I'm your son!
I love you so much, Dad!

1440
01:38:43,039 --> 01:38:44,874
- I have three nipples.
- Yeah, well...

1441
01:38:44,957 --> 01:38:46,876
It's always good to have a spare.

1442
01:38:48,753 --> 01:38:51,172
- Gall dang, you have one, too?
- Yeah.

1443
01:38:51,255 --> 01:38:53,007
Do you like to play with the extra one?

1444
01:38:53,090 --> 01:38:54,551
Oh, you betcha.

1445
01:38:54,634 --> 01:38:57,219
Oh, Pa, I have a question for you.

1446
01:38:57,303 --> 01:38:58,721
Yeah.

1447
01:38:58,805 --> 01:39:01,724
Where do babies come from?

1448
01:39:01,808 --> 01:39:05,437
Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.

1449
01:39:05,520 --> 01:39:08,981
I knewed it!
I knewed it, Dad!

1450
01:39:10,483 --> 01:39:12,777
Well, look at this handsome devil.

1451
01:39:12,860 --> 01:39:15,321
Sir, I'm Danny.

1452
01:39:15,404 --> 01:39:17,449
It's awful nice to finally meet ya.

1453
01:39:17,532 --> 01:39:20,076
Could you help me with a problem?

1454
01:39:20,159 --> 01:39:22,119
I did a real stupid thing

1455
01:39:22,203 --> 01:39:26,791
that inadvertently led to the death
of a United States President,

1456
01:39:26,874 --> 01:39:30,920
and I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.

1457
01:39:32,589 --> 01:39:34,924
Well, son...

1458
01:39:35,007 --> 01:39:36,468
look in my eyes.

1459
01:39:38,761 --> 01:39:40,638
Shit happens.

1460
01:39:41,931 --> 01:39:43,683
Yeah.

1461
01:39:43,766 --> 01:39:46,018
Yeah, right.

1462
01:39:46,102 --> 01:39:48,395
Thanks. Thank you, sir.

1463
01:39:48,480 --> 01:39:49,856
You're welcome.

1464
01:39:49,939 --> 01:39:53,067
So, where to now, huh?

1465
01:39:53,150 --> 01:39:56,696
Well, sir, Smoking Fox and me
are getting married in a few days,

1466
01:39:56,779 --> 01:40:00,032
and Screaming Eagle's
walking her down the aisle,

1467
01:40:00,116 --> 01:40:03,285
and I was hoping...

1468
01:40:03,369 --> 01:40:05,747
you could be there, next to me.

1469
01:40:05,830 --> 01:40:08,541
Oh, you mean your best man?

1470
01:40:08,625 --> 01:40:10,042
Yes, sir.

1471
01:40:10,126 --> 01:40:11,919
Oh, Tommy...

1472
01:40:12,003 --> 01:40:14,631
You know, that's...
that's quite an honor.

1473
01:40:14,714 --> 01:40:17,258
- It would be my honor, sir.
- Yeah. Well, uh...

1474
01:40:20,427 --> 01:40:23,430
But unfortunately, I...

1475
01:40:23,515 --> 01:40:26,893
I got some business up north
that I gotta attend to.

1476
01:40:26,976 --> 01:40:30,021
I gotta collect some gambling debts and...

1477
01:40:30,104 --> 01:40:33,816
You know,
just to pay the doctors and such.

1478
01:40:33,900 --> 01:40:37,361
Say, Dad. You don't ever gotta worry
about money ever again.

1479
01:40:37,444 --> 01:40:40,156
We had to conjure up 50 grand twice!

1480
01:40:40,239 --> 01:40:42,199
So we ended up with 100!

1481
01:40:43,325 --> 01:40:44,565
- A hundred?
- Yes, sir.

1482
01:40:44,619 --> 01:40:46,829
There's another 50 grand?

1483
01:40:46,913 --> 01:40:48,665
Yes, sir.

1484
01:40:48,748 --> 01:40:51,584
Right here,
in the burro's saddlebag.

1485
01:40:52,126 --> 01:40:56,798
So that business can wait up north,
can't it... best man?

1486
01:40:57,840 --> 01:41:02,679
Well, now that you mention it,
maybe I should change my plans.

1487
01:41:02,762 --> 01:41:05,431
<i>- Bueno. Bueno.</i>
- Yeah.

1488
01:41:11,020 --> 01:41:13,105
Hey! What are they doing back?

1489
01:41:19,278 --> 01:41:20,780
What is this?

1490
01:41:21,698 --> 01:41:24,450
I guess it's time you kids

1491
01:41:24,533 --> 01:41:29,163
learned the truth
about your dear old dad, huh?

1492
01:41:29,246 --> 01:41:32,709
I'm just too famous.

1493
01:41:32,792 --> 01:41:35,920
I can't walk into any town
west of the Rockies

1494
01:41:36,003 --> 01:41:38,756
without someone calling the law.

1495
01:41:38,840 --> 01:41:43,219
So, I came up with a way
we could make 50 grand

1496
01:41:43,302 --> 01:41:45,387
without lifting a finger.

1497
01:41:45,471 --> 01:41:49,350
And you rascals brought us double!

1498
01:41:49,433 --> 01:41:51,769
Are these my kids or what?

1499
01:41:53,062 --> 01:41:54,313
Son of a bitch!

1500
01:41:55,690 --> 01:41:58,275
If our two gangs joined forces,

1501
01:41:58,359 --> 01:42:02,279
there's not a lawman in the West
that would stand up against us.

1502
01:42:02,363 --> 01:42:05,116
What makes you think we'd turn
to a life of crime?

1503
01:42:05,199 --> 01:42:07,118
'Cause it's in your blood.

1504
01:42:07,201 --> 01:42:09,161
Answer me something.

1505
01:42:09,245 --> 01:42:14,792
Were you ever great at anything
in your life besides stealing?

1506
01:42:16,628 --> 01:42:18,170
No. No.

1507
01:42:18,254 --> 01:42:22,091
You apples didn't fall far from this tree.

1508
01:42:22,174 --> 01:42:24,510
Don't deny who you are.

1509
01:42:24,593 --> 01:42:27,263
If you knew who we really were,

1510
01:42:27,346 --> 01:42:29,974
you'd be very scared right now.

1511
01:42:32,559 --> 01:42:35,187
Don't overplay your hand, son.

1512
01:42:36,773 --> 01:42:39,025
I'm still holding an ace.

1513
01:42:48,409 --> 01:42:50,577
I found her. I...

1514
01:42:50,662 --> 01:42:52,121
I told you I'd find her.

1515
01:42:56,417 --> 01:43:00,922
This little beauty stumbled into our camp
a few days ago.

1516
01:43:03,590 --> 01:43:06,093
She actually tried to rescue me.

1517
01:43:06,177 --> 01:43:11,057
I'm guessing this means you don't want
me to be your best man no more, huh?

1518
01:43:13,976 --> 01:43:17,021
Well, I'm gonna make this
real simple for you.

1519
01:43:18,314 --> 01:43:24,486
Hand over the other 50 grand...
in that stupid ass' saddlebag,

1520
01:43:24,570 --> 01:43:29,909
or I put a bullet
in her pretty Apache head.

1521
01:43:32,829 --> 01:43:34,080
That ain't gonna happen.

1522
01:43:34,789 --> 01:43:36,123
Oh, it ain't?

1523
01:43:36,207 --> 01:43:37,499
No, sir.

1524
01:43:38,459 --> 01:43:39,711
Why's that?

1525
01:43:39,794 --> 01:43:42,671
Mmm... kind of a secret.

1526
01:43:42,755 --> 01:43:46,843
Well, you can tell your old man,
can't ya?

1527
01:43:49,804 --> 01:43:51,764
You know that bag...

1528
01:43:51,848 --> 01:43:54,266
- your boy's holding?
- Uh-huh.

1529
01:43:54,934 --> 01:43:56,728
It was meant for Cicero.

1530
01:43:56,811 --> 01:43:59,814
So there's something special in there.

1531
01:43:59,897 --> 01:44:02,358
- Plan B.
- Plan B?

1532
01:44:02,441 --> 01:44:03,609
Plan B.

1533
01:44:03,692 --> 01:44:05,444
Give me that bag.

1534
01:44:13,202 --> 01:44:14,703
Oh, shit!

1535
01:44:29,426 --> 01:44:30,706
Where is she?

1536
01:44:41,355 --> 01:44:43,357
Smoking Fox.

1537
01:44:54,994 --> 01:44:56,745
Nighty-night, son.

1538
01:45:04,670 --> 01:45:07,965
Danny, are you all right?

1539
01:45:09,758 --> 01:45:12,678
You done good, Daniel.
You saved me.

1540
01:45:14,430 --> 01:45:16,849
It's my duty, Mr. President.

1541
01:45:20,519 --> 01:45:21,979
Mrs. Lincoln.

1542
01:45:23,439 --> 01:45:25,607
Come on! Come on!
Come here.

1543
01:45:30,612 --> 01:45:31,655
Get in.

1544
01:45:52,801 --> 01:45:53,928
I got one!

1545
01:45:54,011 --> 01:45:55,596
Clem, you almost shot me!

1546
01:45:55,679 --> 01:45:57,139
Come on, get the horses!

1547
01:45:57,223 --> 01:46:00,017
My ass! My ass!

1548
01:46:03,145 --> 01:46:04,646
Hey!

1549
01:46:04,730 --> 01:46:08,192
Is this here still valid,
or is it too burnt up?

1550
01:46:08,275 --> 01:46:09,818
Let me take a look here.

1551
01:46:09,902 --> 01:46:11,988
Uh, that looks good to me.
I mean, this looks good.

1552
01:46:12,071 --> 01:46:13,072
What in the hell?

1553
01:46:13,155 --> 01:46:15,616
You didn't scoop yours out,
did you?

1554
01:46:18,827 --> 01:46:20,121
What was the question again?

1555
01:46:20,204 --> 01:46:22,206
What?

1556
01:46:22,289 --> 01:46:24,333
Did any of you really do it?

1557
01:46:29,463 --> 01:46:31,924
Well, then whose eyes are in that jar?

1558
01:46:32,008 --> 01:46:33,217
Uh...

1559
01:46:33,300 --> 01:46:36,720
Well, Babyface found some rocks,
and, uh, painted them.

1560
01:46:36,803 --> 01:46:38,597
Surprise?

1561
01:46:52,236 --> 01:46:55,531
Hey, Tom,
you wanna play a game

1562
01:46:55,614 --> 01:47:00,119
to make up for all the father-son time
we missed?

1563
01:47:00,202 --> 01:47:01,787
Peek-a-boo.

1564
01:47:08,585 --> 01:47:10,421
Hey, come over here!

1565
01:47:10,504 --> 01:47:12,298
No, come over there!

1566
01:47:18,095 --> 01:47:20,806
You could have had everything, son.

1567
01:47:20,889 --> 01:47:23,559
But you had to do the right thing.

1568
01:47:26,395 --> 01:47:30,399
Let me leave you
with a bit of fatherly advice.

1569
01:47:31,692 --> 01:47:36,905
Never bring a knife to a gunfight.

1570
01:47:36,989 --> 01:47:39,992
One day,
there will be too many, my love.

1571
01:47:40,076 --> 01:47:41,285
But not today.

1572
01:47:56,342 --> 01:47:58,970
That was some mystical shit.

1573
01:48:04,350 --> 01:48:05,851
Tommy.

1574
01:48:05,934 --> 01:48:09,313
You knew Cicero killed my mother.

1575
01:48:09,396 --> 01:48:11,232
No!

1576
01:48:11,315 --> 01:48:12,649
No, I didn't know that.

1577
01:48:12,733 --> 01:48:14,360
No more lies!

1578
01:48:15,194 --> 01:48:17,571
Yeah, I knew. I knew.

1579
01:48:17,654 --> 01:48:19,573
Your mother insisted on telling.

1580
01:48:19,656 --> 01:48:23,077
She was going to rat the whole gang out,
and I tried to convince her...

1581
01:48:24,703 --> 01:48:27,956
Tommy, look, I'm your father,
for God's sake.

1582
01:48:28,040 --> 01:48:30,167
You don't kill your father, Tommy.

1583
01:48:36,340 --> 01:48:39,176
His name is White Knife.

1584
01:48:45,641 --> 01:48:47,684
I ain't gonna kill you.

1585
01:48:49,895 --> 01:48:53,649
'Cause my true father taught me otherwise.

1586
01:49:07,163 --> 01:49:09,206
You can't leave me like this!

1587
01:49:12,043 --> 01:49:13,169
Tommy!

1588
01:49:14,920 --> 01:49:16,963
You can't leave me here alone!

1589
01:49:50,372 --> 01:49:54,376
<i>Dear Mama, so much has changed
since my last letter.</i>

1590
01:49:54,460 --> 01:49:56,378
<i>I scarcely know where to begin.</i>

1591
01:49:56,462 --> 01:50:01,675
<i>First off, it turns out our daddy
is a bad, bad man,</i>

1592
01:50:01,758 --> 01:50:03,969
<i>and he got thrown in jail.</i>

1593
01:50:08,432 --> 01:50:13,395
<i>But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle,
the Indian chief who raised Tommy,</i>

1594
01:50:13,479 --> 01:50:15,814
<i>said he'd be all our dads, too.</i>

1595
01:50:23,780 --> 01:50:26,492
<i>I really like it here in this village.</i>

1596
01:50:26,575 --> 01:50:30,162
<i>Our new brothers and sisters
love to have fun</i>

1597
01:50:30,246 --> 01:50:33,457
<i>and have been so nice to all of us.</i>

1598
01:50:33,540 --> 01:50:36,627
These white guys cannot dance.

1599
01:50:37,794 --> 01:50:39,796
<i>Danny don't drink
whiskey no more.</i>

1600
01:50:39,880 --> 01:50:41,382
- No.
- Yee-haw!

1601
01:50:42,133 --> 01:50:45,761
<i>And Ramon and Herm
are trying to learn Indian ways.</i>

1602
01:51:00,108 --> 01:51:02,653
<i>Oh, and big news..</i>.

1603
01:51:02,736 --> 01:51:04,905
<i>I finally have a girlfriend,</i>

1604
01:51:04,988 --> 01:51:08,200
<i>and she's much prettier
than a canty-loupe.</i>

1605
01:51:08,284 --> 01:51:10,827
Come on, you two!
You're missing all the fun.

1606
01:51:10,911 --> 01:51:15,040
<i>Anyways, Mama, thanks for raising me.</i>

1607
01:51:15,123 --> 01:51:18,377
<i>Your loving son, Lil Pete,</i>

1608
01:51:18,460 --> 01:51:22,506
<i>proud member of the Ridiculous 6.</i>

1609
01:58:47,033 --> 01:58:48,034
<i>Before you go...</i>

1610
01:58:48,118 --> 01:58:51,162
Two, four, six, eight.

1611
01:58:51,246 --> 01:58:53,456
Who do we appreciate?

1612
01:58:53,539 --> 01:58:56,292
The Stockburns! The Stockburns!

1613
01:58:56,376 --> 01:58:58,962
Yeah! The Stockburns!

1614
01:58:58,986 --> 01:59:14,986
<font color="#ffff80"><b>Hope it helped -> bozxphd</b></font>