0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:40,539 All right, let's talk a little bit more about you. 2 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,107 You-- Right there. 3 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:46,445 That's where you're gonna be in, like, six weeks. 4 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,147 Um... 5 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,988 My number-one focus of purpose 6 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:59,925 is to share with you who I am 7 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:04,229 and to... 8 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,299 give you, uh, 9 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,869 as much of myself as I possibly can 10 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,871 while I can. 11 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,007 And I'm excited. I'm excited. 12 00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:16,809 I want you to come sooner than later 13 00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:21,113 so I can still hold you-- 14 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:24,950 Hold you and-- You in my hands and my arms. 15 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,453 and use all that stuff-- 16 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,887 Just-- 17 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,523 Just love you. 18 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,963 The 6th of October, 2001. 19 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,433 We're heading down to the OSU-Washington State game 20 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,502 where the game is sold out. MAN: Homecoming. 21 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,272 Homecoming. Another beautiful day in... 22 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,475 Spokane, Washington. 23 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,113 [CHUCKLES] 24 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,081 Oh, it's a great day. 25 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,150 Cougs are favored by 10. 26 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,119 Steve doesn't like it. I like it. 27 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,753 Oh, man, it's a beautiful time. 28 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,289 It's a beautiful time for the Cougs. 29 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,500 MAN 1: Steve Gleason has what every college football coach 30 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,301 is looking for in a linebacker. 31 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,805 MAN 2: Really, really fast. Really, really aggressive. 32 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,541 MAN 3: He may be small but no one can deny 33 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:26,678 Steve Gleason's ability to hit. 34 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,181 I think that playing football, you know, is a great time for 35 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,284 every guy to get out there, you know, and let out your aggression 36 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,653 and just kind of be a free spirit. 37 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:39,691 Cougar football at its best. Gleason and me. Two legends. 38 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,493 He pass blocks, you take a step back. 39 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,429 He run blocks, bam, you're in there. 40 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,899 For the average college linebacker, he was too small. 41 00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:50,068 And he was way too small for the NFL to play linebacker. 42 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,970 He had to work harder, run harder, 43 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,406 train harder, just so he could be the guy 44 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,843 that was gonna be on that 53-man roster. 45 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,145 I'd never seen a guy cover kicks the way he does. 46 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:03,448 It takes a certain type of psyche and mindset to do that. 47 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,884 It's actually kind of a crazy, sort of loose cannon, 48 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,687 "this guy's obviously got a few screws loose" type of mindset. 49 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,956 And that's what made him so good. 50 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:18,630 I consider Steve a real Kamikaze of sorts, you know, 51 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,800 notorious for sticking his head in there, 52 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,469 totally giving up his body, tough. 53 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,675 Male reporter: There are reports from New Orleans 54 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,410 of people trapped in buildings 55 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,111 that have come down around them. 56 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:36,215 The Superdome became a symbol of failure and despair. 57 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:39,985 20,000 refugees lived here for one miserable week 58 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,920 without power, water, or sanitation. 59 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,857 [CROWD CHEERING] 60 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:49,428 Female reporter: A beautiful day, and an unbelievable scene 61 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,831 here inside the Louisiana Superdome. 62 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,066 [MEN SHOUTING, CHANTING] 63 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,567 Who are we? Saints! 64 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,169 Are we ready? [BARKING] 65 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:59,204 New Orleans! [BARKING] 66 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,139 [CROWD CHEERING] 67 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:05,510 Man: A moment almost unimaginable 13 months ago is here. 68 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,247 Look out! Right through! 69 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,915 A pickoff by Steve Gleason! 70 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,584 And score! 71 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,921 Touchdown! New Orleans! 72 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,762 And for those people who look to the New Orleans Saints 73 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,999 as something that will uplift them, uplift this city, 74 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:32,738 uplift the entire Gulf Region, they've just had it! 75 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,040 That night, and specifically Steve blocking the punt, 76 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:38,110 was, like, a signal to everybody that not only is New Orleans back, 77 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:41,546 but it just felt like the rebirth of something really, really big. 78 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:55,360 [LAUGHS] Can you effing believe that? 79 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,596 All right, we need another performance. 80 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,864 Oh, gee! 81 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:02,534 ¶ Back to back with the Rio Grande ¶ 82 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,336 ¶ A Christian woman in the devil's land ¶ 83 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,938 ¶ She learned the language and she learned to fight ¶ 84 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:11,543 ¶ But she never learned how to beat the lonely nights ¶ 85 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,783 ¶ In Lonesome Dove ¶ 86 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,055 ¶ Lonesome dove ¶ 87 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,458 STEVE: I want to teach you how to hold the camera. 88 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,894 Okay. Yeah? 89 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,903 How's that? Fine. 90 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,341 Are you there? I'm here. 91 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,376 You don't like to talk behind the camera? 92 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:47,646 I'm a filmer, I'm not a subject. 93 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:51,116 Yeah, but a good filmer 94 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:56,455 asks really good questions to get really good material. 95 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,357 Are you almost done? 96 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,493 Good question. 97 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,298 When I first got to know him, he plays-- 98 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,866 He had long hair and played for the NFL. 99 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,769 I thought he was gonna be a complete cheeseball. 100 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,372 But when I met him, he was perfect. 101 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,941 I thought he was the greatest thing I've ever met. 102 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:19,144 He lived in a small house and didn't have a TV 103 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:22,647 and drove a truck and was different than Southern boys, 104 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,516 and he loved to, like, adventure travel. 105 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,184 I liked to travel at the time too. 106 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,855 He was this superhero athlete but also super smart. 107 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,891 He was the best of both worlds, let's say. 108 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,763 With the kind of person that Steve is, 109 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,831 he was attracted to the free spirit of Michel. 110 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:44,503 the kind of honest bluntness, uh, willing to try anything, 111 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,172 really no airs about her. 112 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,874 [CROWD CHEERING] 113 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,443 I don't know, you can never think of Michel settling down. 114 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,111 She was always the life of the party. 115 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,448 She was always having fun. 116 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,150 Is Michel really gonna settle down? 117 00:06:58,152 --> 00:06:59,751 Is Michel gonna have kids? No way. 118 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,853 That's not gonna happen. 119 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:08,560 STEVE: No, you gotta try again. 120 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,898 Watch your hams. 121 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:24,876 As unique as Steve is, Michel is equally as unique, 122 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,512 and I think she was still trying to find herself 123 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:30,148 and didn't know where she was going. 124 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:34,119 And I think when she met Steve, they just started clicking. 125 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,626 And I think it's such an amazing thing 126 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,228 that both of you said to me yesterday. 127 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,297 Even if it's pouring rain, it doesn't matter. 128 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,266 We have each other. Our family and friends are gonna be here. 129 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,169 And isn't that, really? As all us married people know, 130 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,238 it's how we act, not when things are great-- 131 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,874 It's easy to be loving to each other when things are great. 132 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,543 But how do we act as a couple together 133 00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,312 when things aren't great? 134 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,080 When things are difficult? 135 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,983 [CHEERING] 136 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,689 Bye! 137 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,068 Now I guess we could say you're officially a New Orleanean. 138 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,804 You married a local girl, you live in a historic neighborhood. 139 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,573 Are you a New Orleanean? It's a city that I love. 140 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,510 I'm very thankful for all that has come to me through this city. 141 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,046 Is it okay with you, the fact that you're kind of synonymous for one play? 142 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,948 You played nine years in the NFL. 143 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,918 You were on the Saints team that won the first-ever playoff game. 144 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,455 Look, if you gotta pick one thing that you're gonna be known for, 145 00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:44,789 that is fine with me. 146 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,559 And before we go, I wanted Steve to wear 147 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,361 his Number 37 jersey for this segment. 148 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,797 But he won't put it on. I wear my jersey on the field. 149 00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,966 Those days are done. 150 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,542 So I've been having some strange medical issues 151 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,845 going on with me recently. 152 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,148 I've been having some muscle twitching in my arms. 153 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,553 Mostly my upper arms, shoulders on both sides. 154 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,855 And some in my chest, 155 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,691 in my back, a little bit in my upper legs. 156 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,193 I then also talked to my naturopath, 157 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:25,964 and he seemed a little bit concerned about it. 158 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:29,301 He spoke about these types of symptoms on three levels. 159 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:32,103 It could be some type of molecular problem, 160 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:35,106 or it could be some type mechanical problem, 161 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:38,743 meaning my neck or my head have some type of trauma. 162 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,080 I have a bulging disc or a ruptured disc 163 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,516 or calcification in my vertebrae 164 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,151 from all my football trauma. 165 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:51,156 Thirdly, it could be some type of neurological disease, 166 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,692 a disease that he mentioned as-- 167 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,528 Obviously the worst-case scenario would be ALS, 168 00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,697 which is Lou Gehrig's disease. 169 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:10,308 I have been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, 170 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:19,017 which is a disease in the motor neurons. 171 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:37,168 And this disease is-- Is almost always fatal. 172 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,542 My first reaction was kind of frustration or anger 173 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,645 at the doctor for saying it. 174 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,681 And I just was like, there's no-- There's no way. 175 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:54,052 He's telling me this, but I don't necessarily believe what he's saying. 176 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,471 Although this is part of the challenge, 177 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,807 like, yeah, I wanna beat ALS, 178 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,043 I want to win that part of the game, 179 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,378 But for me, the biggest part of the game is 180 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,715 beating all the other shit that you and I have talked about is 181 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,651 karma from our parents 182 00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:30,689 or relationships with family 183 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,458 or relationships with friends 184 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,894 or your own spirituality 185 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,796 and just peace in your heart. 186 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,731 But I just think there's a bigger 187 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,633 battle there 188 00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:44,869 about being able to say, 189 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,406 "Okay, I have been-- I have this diagnosis, 190 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:53,478 and it's not gonna-- It's not gonna crush my life, 191 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,382 even if it does crush, you know, crush my body." 192 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:06,324 I think you look really cute today. 193 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,861 I haven't smelled you, but you look really cute. 194 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,700 STEVE: I wish I could zoom in on that. 195 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,136 Damn. 196 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,439 Is it hard not to tell? I know it's a boy. 197 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,011 STEVE: And I know it's a girl. [CHUCKLES] 198 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:31,583 But I know more. Yeah... right. 199 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,284 Before this, we wanted a baby, 200 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,887 and after this, just because it meant that 201 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,289 I'd have to help take care of him. 202 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:41,326 It wasn't a big enough reason not to have a baby with him 203 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,863 and have all the beautiful things that having a baby, 204 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,031 you know, bring to a family and a couple. 205 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,001 Here you go, Steve-O. 206 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,237 It's definitely in there. 207 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,188 What is this all about? 208 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:15,193 I am making a video blog of myself. 209 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,831 This is intended to be a gift for you, 210 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:24,002 my child who I have not yet met. 211 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:27,172 MICHEL: Do you think it already has a hard head? 212 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:31,209 WOMAN: It could. That comes from his dad's side. 213 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,514 My intention is to pass on as much of who I am 214 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,552 as possibly can to you. 215 00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:42,520 And I think if I can do that in a good way, 216 00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,857 it can be even more meaningful 217 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,159 than having a father who's around 218 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:52,096 for 30 or 50 or 60 years of your life. 219 00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,965 Now, I hope that happens too, 220 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:58,570 but this is a nice little backup insurance plan. 221 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,778 For me, the weird thing is-- The scary thing is, like, 222 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:10,148 every week or so there's a new thing 223 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,551 where I'm like, "Oh, I can't do that." 224 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,354 I'm losing that. I lost that, just lost that." 225 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,691 [MAN SHOUTING] 226 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,962 We have to have a pregnant woman to start us. 227 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,798 Is there any pregnant women in the house? 228 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,900 We got one pregnant woman! 229 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,202 Well, get in, girl, you're the starter. 230 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,938 On your marks. MAN: Here we go. 231 00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,474 Get set. We're set! 232 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,044 Go! Go, go, go. 233 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:50,421 Not everybody knew that Steve had ALS. 234 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:55,326 They were treating him like was still a healthy ex-football player. 235 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,882 I hadn't cried, I think, in a long time. 236 00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:20,218 It's just kind of like, this is gonna be okay. 237 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,754 But seeing that kind of, like, awkward gait, 238 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,589 it crushed me. 239 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,958 [PEOPLE SHOUTING] 240 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,635 Yeah, buddy! You did it! 241 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,858 Stretch! Stretch. 242 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,161 Stretch. 243 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,696 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] Good job, dude. 244 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:12,236 No one knows what I'm feeling right now. 245 00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,871 I don't want want him to go through this. 246 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,940 I don't want to deal with this. For the first time, 247 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,176 you don't want to realize that this is the truth. 248 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,211 And in those moments you realize it's the truth, 249 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:23,014 and, like, this is fucking happening to my husband. 250 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,483 This is happening. 251 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,824 STEVE: I think the big question is, "Why is this happening?" 252 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,959 You know, me and Michel are so good together. 253 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:39,464 We're so perfect, being really good people. 254 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,567 So I kept asking over and over again, 255 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:46,137 "God, if you have some control over this universe, 256 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,705 "why would this happen to me? 257 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,241 "If you have control over this, 258 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,243 "then save me, you know. Help heal me. 259 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,612 Because I don't want Michel to be here by herself." 260 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,115 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 261 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,820 I'm sure there are people that get this diagnosis 262 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,556 and just kind of shut down, 263 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:10,361 whereas it's kind of ignited a fire in me 264 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,463 where I'm not gonna shut down. 265 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,265 Not only am I not gonna shut down, 266 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,935 I'm gonna go a little bit further, you know? 267 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,705 Push the envelope a little bit. 268 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,523 [WHOOPING] 269 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,458 ¶ Yes, I understand ¶ 270 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,360 ¶ That every life must end ¶ 271 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,595 ¶ Uh, huh ¶ 272 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,032 MICHEL: Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah! 273 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,135 Halleluiah! MICHEL: Yahoo! 274 00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,738 ¶ Uh, huh ¶ 275 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,608 ¶ Oh, I'm a lucky man ¶ 276 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,811 ¶ To count on both hands ¶ 277 00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,180 ¶ The ones I love ¶ 278 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,683 ¶ Some folks just have one ¶ 279 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,219 You know, I was torn. A lot of people were saying 280 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,821 I shouldn't necessarily go on this trip. 281 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:14,659 I should be seeking out ways that I can get healed 282 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,360 or get some treatment. 283 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,897 In the end, I think I decided that 284 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,833 the odds of me finding some type of treatment 285 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,801 in the next six months were too small. 286 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,805 It's gotten a lot harder for me to do stuff. 287 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,910 The other thing that's really frustrating for me 288 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,645 is the talking. 289 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:38,316 So it's getting harder for me to talk. 290 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:41,586 I know I've said this before on film, 291 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,622 but it's not gonna stop, I guess. 292 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,859 It's probable that it won't stop. 293 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,598 ¶ Hold me till I die ¶ 294 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,269 ¶ Meet you on the other side ¶ 295 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,573 Quite possibly one of the coolest things I've ever done. 296 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:06,043 We've been, what, around the world, 297 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,379 and in front of millions of people, 298 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:12,216 but that plane flight was amazing. 299 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,519 MICHEL: Glacier landing versus punt block. 300 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,788 I don't know, it's close. 301 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,925 MICHEL: Want to tell the baby anything? 302 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,496 We had a destination in mind when we came up here, 303 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,366 and I would say we are there. 304 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,868 Be present now, right? 305 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,403 Better late than never. 306 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,705 Better now than never. 307 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,440 Better now than never. 308 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,844 MAN 1: Yeah. Yeah. MAN 2: Talking? 309 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,281 Sorry. 310 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,883 My favorite part is to do things like this. 311 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,653 Hello. Hello. 312 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:52,456 Hey, how are you? Oh, how are you now? 313 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:58,196 Well, things changed since you're here to now. 314 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,465 Nothing has changed for me. 315 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:05,069 It's a couple seconds. For you, though? Huh? 316 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,238 Things have changed. 317 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,615 Like, it's weird 318 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,418 that I'm potentially having a conversation, 319 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,753 initiating a conversation, 320 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:26,157 with someone who I actually might never talk to 321 00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:28,626 in a real conversation. Mm-hmm. 322 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:31,229 The baby will be born in November. 323 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,064 So I'll talk to it, sure. 324 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:38,002 But let's say a real conversation starts at 4 years old. 325 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,839 Maybe I'm not having conversations at that point. 326 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,942 It's fucked up. 327 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,248 So then it's like, 328 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:55,686 well, if I was that person... 329 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,856 what would I want to hear people say? 330 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:03,828 What would I want to hear my dad say? 331 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:07,832 You know? You just want him to be real. 332 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:12,870 Yeah, so that's why I'm like, "Look this is just raw and... 333 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,474 unprepared-- 334 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,342 I mean, the same shit 335 00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:22,813 we want when our dads are alive. 336 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:26,150 We dislike what so many parents do 337 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,853 is like, "I'm parent now. 338 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,321 "I'm not a person anymore. 339 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,956 "I'm not real. Yeah. 340 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:36,427 "I don't have all the exact same flaws as you. 341 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:41,732 ...doing the exact same stupid shit that you're doing." 342 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,672 The big thing that's happened since I've been diagnosed 343 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:51,475 in January is that one thing I want to accomplish 344 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:55,012 is to have all my relationships in order 345 00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:58,049 is the term I've been using. 346 00:21:58,051 --> 00:22:02,853 In my teenage years, my dad was very protective. 347 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:06,223 His only way to teach how to live life 348 00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:09,593 was to teach it out of fear. 349 00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:12,029 STEVE: As much as possible, try not twist like that. 350 00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:16,133 You got all your questions there? 351 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,868 Yeah. That's good. 352 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:23,941 So I think a good place to start, Dad, would be-- 353 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:25,710 How about your birth? 354 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:29,413 Yeah, the very first memory of me 355 00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:31,782 as a very young child. 356 00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:33,784 What were some of the things that you remember? 357 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:35,586 Is that thing on? Yeah. 358 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:39,256 It can hear what you just asked me? 359 00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:40,958 Yeah. Okay. 360 00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:52,103 He was a reader, pretty cerebral. 361 00:22:52,105 --> 00:22:56,807 He wasn't an introvert, but he was more on the quiet side, 362 00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:58,709 I can remember he was about 6 years old, 363 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,911 and I had him in the backyard. 364 00:23:00,913 --> 00:23:03,681 He was at the farthest end of the lot in the backyard. 365 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,650 I bought him a Wiffle ball and a bat. 366 00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:09,920 I said, "Keep your eye on the ball, 367 00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:12,156 and watch the ball hit the bat." 368 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:13,557 So I tossed it to him. 369 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,326 First time he swung the bat. 370 00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:16,827 He hit the ball over the house. 371 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,530 And we're talking plastic Wiffle ball. 372 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:23,434 And I thought, "Holy crap. What do I have here? 373 00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:28,539 Our parents got divorced when I was 15, 374 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,841 and you were 11 maybe? Something like that. 375 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,911 And so growing up, what I remember 376 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,414 is that they would fight all the time. 377 00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,915 A lot of verbal abuse. 378 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:43,487 Our parents literally screamed at each other 379 00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:46,724 for hours, just like screaming as loud as they could 380 00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:48,125 for hours and hours and hours. 381 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:54,632 There reached a point between Mike and I where things got pretty bad 382 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:58,469 and the boys did not like that, 383 00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:01,705 especially when I started going to therapy 384 00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:05,676 and learning how to stand up for myself again. 385 00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,446 Then that got pretty tense. 386 00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:15,586 I didn't have experience in how to raise somebody. 387 00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,655 My father was never home when I grew up. 388 00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:22,726 So I didn't really have an example of how a father should be. 389 00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:25,696 So I was just doing the best I could do. 390 00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:27,531 I probably over pushed in some areas 391 00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:30,968 just because I just saw a lot of talent there 392 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,404 and somebody that had fierce determination. 393 00:24:33,406 --> 00:24:34,939 So I thought, well, 394 00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:37,842 there's a lot this kid can do. 395 00:24:39,412 --> 00:24:43,481 And here come the Cougars! 396 00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:47,651 MAN: There's Stephen right there. 397 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,053 When you saw-- 398 00:24:49,055 --> 00:24:51,722 How the interaction was as a family-- 399 00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:56,327 And things weren't right between your mom and I-- 400 00:24:56,329 --> 00:25:00,231 That you can take all that frustration out on the field. 401 00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:02,199 And it was a great way for you to release 402 00:25:03,236 --> 00:25:06,937 pain, anger, uh... 403 00:25:06,939 --> 00:25:09,006 And I hate to say it, but that was 404 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,041 one of my motivations when I played ball. 405 00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:14,512 'Cause my own life with my parents 406 00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:16,180 was pretty dysfunctional. 407 00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:20,584 And you grew up in a pretty dysfunctional marriage. 408 00:25:23,322 --> 00:25:27,825 STEVE: The biggest thing my dad has contributed to me 409 00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:33,764 is just determination, perseverance. Hard work. 410 00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:36,867 I mean, the guy to a fault, he works hard. 411 00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:43,474 I ended up in a 12-step recovery program 412 00:25:43,476 --> 00:25:47,778 for workaholism and anxiety. 413 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:53,751 This a biblical principal 414 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:56,654 and it's in the Old Testament, but it says, 415 00:25:56,656 --> 00:26:00,024 when the kings and their sons would sin, 416 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,493 the generational sin 417 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:04,962 would go from one family to the next 418 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,566 unless somebody in the family 419 00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,000 would get before the Lord and say, 420 00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:13,604 "Okay, God, forgive me for this." 421 00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:16,440 I'm not doing this anymore." 422 00:26:16,442 --> 00:26:18,042 Somebody has to stop the sin 423 00:26:18,044 --> 00:26:22,680 or else that sin runs from one family to the next. 424 00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:30,955 Okay, a topic based blog here. 425 00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:33,657 Today's topic will be religion. 426 00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:38,562 God. I don't believe God is a father figure 427 00:26:38,564 --> 00:26:41,565 white-haired man up in heaven. 428 00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:44,768 I don't believe in the fear 429 00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:46,170 that is in the bible. 430 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:48,372 The fear tactics that are used in the bible. 431 00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:49,974 I believe in love. 432 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,544 Treating someone else as you would like to be treated 433 00:26:53,546 --> 00:26:57,548 is my number-one... 434 00:26:57,550 --> 00:26:59,383 rule. 435 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:03,087 The more I pray, and the more I read about this stuff, 436 00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:05,856 the more I believe God wants me here. 437 00:27:05,858 --> 00:27:09,126 Now, wait a minute, if that doesn't happen, 438 00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:11,362 I can accept that. Okay. 439 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:16,834 The more I hear you saying, God wants to heal you. 440 00:27:16,836 --> 00:27:18,869 God wants to heal you, and I'm like, hmm, 441 00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:23,674 that's interesting because it says in the bible that we don't know God's mind. 442 00:27:23,676 --> 00:27:26,877 No, that's not true. It does say that though. 443 00:27:27,947 --> 00:27:31,382 So are you saying that since I'm-- 444 00:27:31,384 --> 00:27:32,783 I'm not saying-- 445 00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,885 Since I'm sick and if I die it's because 446 00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:36,353 I don't have the mind of Christ? 447 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:39,323 I'm not saying that at all. 448 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,659 I would never say that. 449 00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:46,997 Never. 450 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:50,868 I'm feeling open and a little bit anxious and nervous. 451 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:55,673 How are you feeling? About the same. 452 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,775 About the same. 453 00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:06,950 Let's give Kevin a warm welcome. 454 00:28:06,952 --> 00:28:09,753 [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 455 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:15,259 It's a privilege to be back here again. 456 00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:18,729 I think we were here about three years ago, wasn't it? 457 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,397 Four years? Three or four years ago. 458 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:25,936 When I started reading that book, 459 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,338 I started feeling inside of me 460 00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:30,407 that I should lay hands on my own son, 461 00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:33,110 but I was scared, just like he was, 462 00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:35,746 because I didn't want it to not work. 463 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:36,947 Well, just do it. 464 00:28:36,949 --> 00:28:39,683 [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY] 465 00:28:39,685 --> 00:28:41,085 We're gonna get there. 466 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:43,554 This whole thing's gonna be easier, Michel. 467 00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:45,155 It's gonna take time. 468 00:28:45,157 --> 00:28:48,058 KEVIN: We're gonna focus on ourselves right now, 469 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,494 and we're gonna put our hand on our body parts. 470 00:28:50,496 --> 00:28:52,730 Later, we'll put our hands on other people. 471 00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:54,164 Later on. 472 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:56,300 But we'll start here first. 473 00:28:56,302 --> 00:29:00,370 And then I want us to sing "It's The End of My Pain As I Know It." 474 00:29:00,372 --> 00:29:03,240 Are you ready? Let's do it, Kevin. 475 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:07,845 ¶ It's the end of my pain as I know it ¶ 476 00:29:07,847 --> 00:29:09,446 ¶ It's the end of my pain as I know it ¶ 477 00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:14,451 ¶ It's the end of my pain as I know it ¶ 478 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,990 ¶ And I feel fine ¶ 479 00:29:19,992 --> 00:29:21,759 KEVIN: Okay, now, check your body out. 480 00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:23,293 Try to make it heard. 481 00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:26,497 Try to do something that you couldn't do before. 482 00:29:26,499 --> 00:29:28,799 I'm gonna go run. See if there's 10 percent, 483 00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:30,467 20 percent, 30 percent difference, 484 00:29:31,704 --> 00:29:34,037 50 percent, 100 percent improvement, 485 00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:35,506 some kind of improvement. 486 00:29:35,508 --> 00:29:37,274 Come on, try to make it heard real quick. 487 00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,676 Now, wave your hand if you had some kind of improvement. 488 00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:42,412 Right there. Right here. Right there. Right over here. 489 00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:45,282 Right back there. Right here. I'm gonna run. 490 00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:47,985 Okay, go for it. Right here. I'm gonna run. 491 00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:49,853 Right here. Right there. Should I run? 492 00:29:49,855 --> 00:29:52,623 Wow! Look at this. 493 00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,692 This is awesome. 494 00:29:55,694 --> 00:29:57,728 This is awesome. Just go do it. 495 00:29:57,730 --> 00:29:59,930 This is-- Go. Just go ahead. 496 00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:02,566 Just check it out. Try to make it heard right now. 497 00:30:02,568 --> 00:30:05,903 Okay, wave your hand if you've got some more breakthrough. 498 00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:08,105 Look at this. More. 499 00:30:08,107 --> 00:30:11,809 Okay. All right. Good try. 500 00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:13,811 Here let me have your hand. 501 00:30:13,813 --> 00:30:15,746 Good try. Try again. 502 00:30:15,748 --> 00:30:17,614 Yeah, that was how many steps? 503 00:30:17,616 --> 00:30:19,616 Four steps. 504 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:21,251 [APPLAUSE] 505 00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:26,123 Let's get a couple big guys here as well 506 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,926 and come alongside of him to run with him. 507 00:30:28,928 --> 00:30:30,561 You're a big guy. Come on. 508 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:32,996 You in the blue. There you go. 509 00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:38,602 Don't touch me. 510 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:39,803 This is bullshit. 511 00:30:39,805 --> 00:30:42,105 It's not bullshit. Yes, it is. 512 00:30:42,107 --> 00:30:45,042 So at this point, what we're gonna do is 513 00:30:45,044 --> 00:30:49,079 these guys are gonna go back there and practice this while I continue. 514 00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:52,983 There you go. Keep up with him. 515 00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:58,589 He's gonna tell you it will happen when he leaves you. 516 00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:02,459 He said usually things happen once he's gone. 517 00:31:02,461 --> 00:31:03,694 Just so you know. 518 00:31:03,696 --> 00:31:05,329 MIKE: Michel, you're his partner. 519 00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:07,497 You need to trust and believe with him. 520 00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:09,933 You really need to-- She's with me all the way. 521 00:31:09,935 --> 00:31:12,035 I am with him so much, Mike. 522 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:14,972 I know you are. Don't you dare say that to me. 523 00:31:14,974 --> 00:31:17,307 It's okay. 524 00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:20,310 Michel, come on in. Everybody's different. 525 00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:24,982 WOMAN: I know. That's what she just said, though. 526 00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:42,132 I feel sick. Okay. 527 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:45,335 The team's gonna come this way and go past us that way. 528 00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:46,403 Okay. 529 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:49,606 MAN: It was a surprise appearance 530 00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:51,041 by Steve Gleason. 531 00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:53,110 His first appearance on camera 532 00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:55,946 since going public that he had been diagnosed 533 00:31:55,948 --> 00:31:57,781 with ALS. 534 00:31:57,783 --> 00:32:00,717 Obviously, I don't 535 00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:02,920 how to move or talk 536 00:32:02,922 --> 00:32:04,922 quite the way I used to. 537 00:32:10,129 --> 00:32:15,198 When you're good at something, it's fun to see other people admire you. 538 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,069 And I think that's a good thing to be so good at something 539 00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:20,904 that people admire you. 540 00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:24,775 But I think it could be dangerous if that becomes obsessive. 541 00:32:24,777 --> 00:32:28,679 And I certainly struggled with that when I retired. 542 00:32:28,681 --> 00:32:32,683 If you're not doing something where there's tens of thousands 543 00:32:32,685 --> 00:32:36,186 or millions of people that are admiring you, 544 00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:40,057 can you still be happy? 545 00:32:40,059 --> 00:32:41,992 Tough question. 546 00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:44,194 It was just prior to the Saints home game 547 00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:46,129 on September 25th with the Texans 548 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:50,267 that Gleason went public that he had been diagnosed with ALS. 549 00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:53,236 He was named an honorary captain for that football game. 550 00:32:53,238 --> 00:32:56,239 and came out at mid-field to lead a "Who-Dat" chant 551 00:32:56,241 --> 00:33:00,310 that no one will ever forget, especially Gleason. 552 00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:10,420 STEVE: When I would play football, during games, I would have 553 00:33:10,422 --> 00:33:14,558 this fear of walking onto the football field. 554 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,693 And I would tell myself, "Hey, if I die today 555 00:33:20,199 --> 00:33:21,698 "or on this play, then I'm okay. 556 00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:27,070 "I've had a good life, and I feel good about 557 00:33:27,072 --> 00:33:29,339 kind of accepting death." 558 00:33:31,076 --> 00:33:33,777 At the same time, I think that 559 00:33:33,779 --> 00:33:38,515 that thought and maybe the actions that followed it, 560 00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:42,052 sometimes I think that's-- That might be why 561 00:33:42,054 --> 00:33:45,055 I have ended up where I am right now. 562 00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:50,527 And now I think about it, and I don't want to die. 563 00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:52,295 [CROWD CHEERING] 564 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:11,815 [CROWD CHANTING] WHO-DAT?! WHO-DAT?! 565 00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,483 WHO-DAT?! WHO-DAT?! 566 00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:17,287 WHO-DAT SAY DE GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?! 567 00:34:36,642 --> 00:34:38,775 MAN: So for now, Gleason's goals are clear. 568 00:34:40,012 --> 00:34:42,179 Live each day to the fullest 569 00:34:42,181 --> 00:34:45,015 and spread the word about ALS. 570 00:34:45,017 --> 00:34:48,185 If I could help show and inspire people to-- 571 00:34:48,187 --> 00:34:53,023 That have been diagnosed with ALS to continue living their life, 572 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:56,226 and if we can, as a group, 573 00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:59,563 uh, if we could help those people-- 574 00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:02,265 Those people who have been diagnosed continue to live 575 00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:07,204 a life that's enriching and extraordinary, 576 00:35:07,206 --> 00:35:10,841 um, then I think, uh, 577 00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:12,375 that's part of my goal. 578 00:35:25,557 --> 00:35:28,191 MAN: We have to define your purpose. 579 00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:32,362 To me, there's two things you can do 580 00:35:32,364 --> 00:35:36,967 in terms of medical disease related fundraising. 581 00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:39,769 Either for research for a cure, 582 00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:44,908 or for services, equipment, technology, etc. 583 00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:48,845 I chose services and equipment as opposed to research. 584 00:35:48,847 --> 00:35:50,113 Okay. 585 00:35:50,115 --> 00:35:51,915 I want to accomplish two things. 586 00:35:51,917 --> 00:35:55,619 I want to advance those 587 00:35:55,621 --> 00:35:57,654 technologies, services, and equipment. 588 00:35:57,656 --> 00:36:01,291 And I'd like to provide people with purpose. 589 00:36:01,293 --> 00:36:03,193 We had a kid who e-mailed me. He said, 590 00:36:03,195 --> 00:36:07,697 "I'm 29, I just read your entire blog about going to Alaska. 591 00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:09,432 "That's been a dream of mine forever. 592 00:36:09,434 --> 00:36:12,369 I got diagnosed with ALS two months ago." 593 00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:15,906 My idea is to create ways for ALS patients, 594 00:36:15,908 --> 00:36:19,976 even if they can't move, to participate in these projects, 595 00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:21,511 these expeditions. 596 00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:24,814 But that's-- If all goes my way, 597 00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:27,317 that's what I'd like to do with the money 598 00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:29,786 that we raise for this foundation. 599 00:36:29,788 --> 00:36:32,756 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 600 00:36:32,758 --> 00:36:35,892 MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Legally, for the formation... 601 00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:38,695 No, no, no. 602 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:41,698 We do need something for the foundation. 603 00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:47,270 Yeah, for, so, Jim-- 604 00:36:47,272 --> 00:36:49,873 [JIM CONTINUES, INDISTINCTLY] 605 00:36:51,410 --> 00:36:53,577 Thank you so much, guys. Have a great night. 606 00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,545 MAN 1: All right, thanks. MAN 2: Thanks, bud. 607 00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:57,080 MAN 3: Late. 608 00:36:57,082 --> 00:36:58,882 That was sweet. 609 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,721 [WATER RUNNING] Hi. 610 00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:05,922 [MICHEL SPITS] 611 00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:07,857 Good morning. Hi. 612 00:37:07,859 --> 00:37:10,961 Hey you. I'm sorry. 613 00:37:10,963 --> 00:37:12,362 MICHEL: That's okay. 614 00:37:12,364 --> 00:37:13,930 STEVE: I don't know why I did that. 615 00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:17,867 MICHEL: I don't know either. 616 00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:20,503 STEVE: You are so important. You know that. 617 00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:22,973 You are, you're it. 618 00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:25,642 You're, you're it. 619 00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:27,410 You're it. 620 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:31,181 All that other shit doesn't matter. 621 00:37:31,183 --> 00:37:32,616 MICHEL: Okay. 622 00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:35,852 I'm telling you, I'm serious. 623 00:37:39,324 --> 00:37:40,890 But I am kind of excited 624 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:44,094 because I think we could create something here. 625 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:45,595 Buddy, I think it's great. 626 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:46,796 I mean, I think it's great. 627 00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:49,199 We have a passion, a project, 628 00:37:49,201 --> 00:37:51,668 something that we have to live for. 629 00:37:51,670 --> 00:37:54,204 Steve, this is-- That's raw, you know. 630 00:37:54,206 --> 00:37:56,273 This is-- Look, this is-- 631 00:37:56,275 --> 00:37:58,008 That is nothing why I'm crying, 632 00:37:58,010 --> 00:38:00,577 this has nothing to do with that. 633 00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:01,911 I don't know why I'm crying. 634 00:38:01,913 --> 00:38:03,580 I want you to help me create it. 635 00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:06,283 I know. Steve, I'm here with you in every step. 636 00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:07,784 It's not like I'm not-- 637 00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:11,021 I know. I'm just saying I want you to feel like 638 00:38:11,023 --> 00:38:13,757 we need you to create this. 639 00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:16,126 This is... 640 00:38:16,128 --> 00:38:18,461 There's things that you can get too involved in, 641 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:22,599 but I think that this is great stuff. 642 00:38:24,303 --> 00:38:26,303 The contractions, I can't even tell, 643 00:38:26,305 --> 00:38:28,271 'cause there's so much pressure all the time, 644 00:38:28,273 --> 00:38:30,340 and they've moved from my hernia down to my-- 645 00:38:30,342 --> 00:38:31,875 It's go time. It's go time. 646 00:38:31,877 --> 00:38:33,943 JULIE: Michel, that is how labor is. 647 00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:35,245 It's not back labor. 648 00:38:35,247 --> 00:38:37,180 Do you have any fluids coming out at all? 649 00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:41,251 I just had a tiny little thing of pink this morning. 650 00:38:41,253 --> 00:38:43,219 Okay. You're in labor! 651 00:38:43,221 --> 00:38:44,554 Julie, but we don't know yet, 652 00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:46,356 so I don't want to be one of those people-- 653 00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:47,924 Yeah, I know. Okay? 654 00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:49,959 Sarah's sitting right here and she's like 655 00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:51,695 "She's having a baby." 656 00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:55,231 You're having the baby today. Steve, are you ready? 657 00:38:55,233 --> 00:38:57,033 No choice. 658 00:38:57,035 --> 00:38:58,935 [JULIE LAUGHING] 659 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,937 No choice. 660 00:39:02,274 --> 00:39:04,507 I'm letting you know in advance, 661 00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:08,478 it's going to be very difficult for me, 662 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,413 pushing this thing out of that little hole. 663 00:39:10,415 --> 00:39:13,817 You're gonna do great. I'm gonna help you. 664 00:39:16,088 --> 00:39:19,789 There's things in life that are hard, but you just gotta do. 665 00:39:19,791 --> 00:39:22,826 I know, but do you understand what's about to happen? 666 00:39:22,828 --> 00:39:25,061 If it happens. 667 00:39:31,303 --> 00:39:33,937 WOMAN: Michel Varisco. 668 00:39:36,341 --> 00:39:41,911 Well, it's, uh, October 19, 2011. 669 00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:45,682 We've done several of these types of journals, 670 00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:49,052 but, uh, it's, uh-- It's go time. 671 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:52,222 I've been scared about doing this for my whole life. 672 00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:54,424 [HEART MONITOR] 673 00:39:57,562 --> 00:40:00,997 Come on out, little buddy. 674 00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:02,665 Come on out. 675 00:40:04,336 --> 00:40:06,603 Oh, sweet Jesus, Steve. 676 00:40:08,407 --> 00:40:10,340 I want a kiss. 677 00:40:10,342 --> 00:40:12,642 You got it. 678 00:40:17,816 --> 00:40:20,683 Michel, I love you so much. I love you. 679 00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:24,487 And we're doing the-- Really, the coolest thing we could do together, right? 680 00:40:24,489 --> 00:40:27,056 That's right. Fuckin' right, dude. 681 00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:34,063 MICHEL: Dun-da-da-dah! 682 00:40:34,065 --> 00:40:37,367 DOCTOR: Let's see. All right, this is it, guys. 683 00:40:37,369 --> 00:40:39,002 There you go. 684 00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,503 [INDISTINCT DIALOG] 685 00:40:40,505 --> 00:40:42,138 DOCTOR: We're gonna do most of the work. 686 00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:44,374 Give me a deep breath. Give me a little half push. 687 00:40:44,376 --> 00:40:45,642 There we go. All right, no more. 688 00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:47,410 Let's go straight up, Steve. Ready? 689 00:40:47,412 --> 00:40:50,246 Straight up. Hold right here. 690 00:40:50,248 --> 00:40:51,548 Ready? Watch this. 691 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:54,083 MICHEL: He's little. Look at him, Steve. 692 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,219 DOCTOR: Okay, Michel, look at your baby. 693 00:40:56,221 --> 00:40:58,455 Look at this baby. Look at that beautiful baby. 694 00:40:58,457 --> 00:40:59,923 All right, Steve, get your hand here. 695 00:40:59,925 --> 00:41:01,491 We got it, it's okay. There it is. 696 00:41:01,493 --> 00:41:03,359 We got it. You got it, I don't have it. 697 00:41:03,361 --> 00:41:04,994 You got it. You got a baby boy. 698 00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:07,263 [LAUGHING] You got a baby boy. 699 00:41:07,265 --> 00:41:08,565 Wait, can you hold him? 700 00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:10,500 I got him. MICHEL: I knew it was a boy. 701 00:41:10,502 --> 00:41:12,168 WOMAN: He's a Rivers. That's my boy. 702 00:41:13,238 --> 00:41:15,238 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 703 00:41:19,377 --> 00:41:21,878 I don't know how to hold him. 704 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,080 I don't-- I don't think that's mine. 705 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,415 You don't? 706 00:41:25,417 --> 00:41:28,151 I mean, it doesn't even seem real. 707 00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:30,086 [BABY FUSSING] 708 00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:31,454 It was so easy. 709 00:41:31,456 --> 00:41:33,022 WOMAN: You did it good. You were great. 710 00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:34,891 STEVE: Mick, you did great, dude. 711 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,426 I'm ready for number two. 712 00:41:36,428 --> 00:41:37,760 [LAUGHING] 713 00:41:37,762 --> 00:41:39,729 STEVE: Well, okay. 714 00:41:39,731 --> 00:41:43,399 STEVE: ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 715 00:41:43,401 --> 00:41:46,102 MICHEL: ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 716 00:41:46,104 --> 00:41:49,305 STEVE: ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 717 00:41:49,307 --> 00:41:52,008 That's, uh, Rivers Varisco Gleason, 718 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,243 your grandson. 719 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:55,945 Rivers. That's what you named him, Rivers? 720 00:41:55,947 --> 00:41:57,413 Yep. 721 00:41:57,415 --> 00:41:59,115 What's his middle name? 722 00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:01,618 Varisco. 723 00:42:01,620 --> 00:42:04,587 Oh. Just like her last name. 724 00:42:04,589 --> 00:42:06,556 [LAUGHING] 725 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:10,026 Rivers Varisco Gleason. 726 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:11,528 Rivers. 727 00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:12,729 [LAUGHING] 728 00:42:12,731 --> 00:42:14,330 All right. 729 00:42:14,332 --> 00:42:15,832 [LAUGHING] 730 00:42:15,834 --> 00:42:18,535 So are you at the hospital? 731 00:42:18,537 --> 00:42:21,604 Oh, yeah, dude. 732 00:42:21,606 --> 00:42:26,643 Dad, we had the baby, like, half an hour ago. 733 00:42:26,645 --> 00:42:28,411 Half an hour ago. 734 00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:30,680 Yeah, man. 735 00:42:30,682 --> 00:42:32,649 What's up, Rivers? 736 00:42:32,651 --> 00:42:35,018 You're right here. 737 00:42:36,254 --> 00:42:39,622 Uh, all right. 738 00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:44,294 October 20, 2011, 739 00:42:44,296 --> 00:42:47,964 and this will be... 740 00:42:47,966 --> 00:42:49,365 [CLEARS THROAT] 741 00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:52,302 ...my first video journal 742 00:42:52,304 --> 00:42:55,138 where we're in it together. 743 00:42:55,140 --> 00:42:56,472 How about that? 744 00:42:56,474 --> 00:42:58,274 It's also the first video journal where 745 00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:02,679 I get to... 746 00:43:02,681 --> 00:43:06,516 talk to you in, what, the first person 747 00:43:06,518 --> 00:43:10,186 rather than using pronouns. 748 00:43:10,188 --> 00:43:11,921 Uh, I'm scared. 749 00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:15,558 We don't know what the hell we're doing. 750 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:19,662 Anyhow, the big thing is, 751 00:43:19,664 --> 00:43:21,898 I'm writing a bunch about 752 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:23,833 what the word and the name, 753 00:43:23,835 --> 00:43:27,937 and-- And what rivers actually mean to me. 754 00:43:27,939 --> 00:43:30,440 I came up with this several years ago, 755 00:43:30,442 --> 00:43:35,745 but I decided that rivers are the source of fire. 756 00:43:35,747 --> 00:43:37,880 Here's my logic. 757 00:43:37,882 --> 00:43:39,315 A fire burns wood as its fuel, 758 00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,853 and this wood comes from a tree 759 00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:45,588 that drinks from the rivers, 760 00:43:45,590 --> 00:43:51,661 and so, uh, the rivers are the fuel for the fire. 761 00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:57,066 And, uh, you are the rivers... 762 00:43:57,068 --> 00:43:58,968 for my fire. 763 00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:10,880 [Van Morrison's "Crazy Love" playing] 764 00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:22,759 ¶ I can hear her heart beat ¶ 765 00:44:22,761 --> 00:44:26,963 ¶ For a thousand miles ¶ 766 00:44:26,965 --> 00:44:29,632 ¶ And the heavens open ¶ 767 00:44:29,634 --> 00:44:32,935 ¶ Every time she smiles ¶ 768 00:44:32,937 --> 00:44:35,738 ¶ And when I come to her ¶ 769 00:44:35,740 --> 00:44:39,509 ¶ That's where I belong ¶ 770 00:44:39,511 --> 00:44:41,911 ¶ Yet I'm running to her ¶ 771 00:44:41,913 --> 00:44:44,514 ¶ Like a river's song ¶ 772 00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:46,382 ¶ She give me love, love, love, love ¶ 773 00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:51,254 ¶ Crazy love ¶ 774 00:44:51,256 --> 00:44:55,391 ¶ She give me love, love, love, love ¶ 775 00:44:55,393 --> 00:44:57,560 ¶ Crazy love ¶ 776 00:44:57,562 --> 00:44:59,395 ¶ She give me love, love, love, love ¶ 777 00:45:01,733 --> 00:45:04,100 ¶ Crazy love ¶ 778 00:45:04,102 --> 00:45:08,471 ¶ She give me love, love, love, love ¶ 779 00:45:08,473 --> 00:45:10,373 ¶ Crazy love ¶ 780 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:15,511 ¶ She give me love, love, love, love ¶ 781 00:45:15,513 --> 00:45:19,015 ¶ She give me crazy ¶ 782 00:45:19,017 --> 00:45:23,086 ¶ She drives me a little crazy ¶ 783 00:45:23,088 --> 00:45:26,422 [INDISTINCT DIALOG] 784 00:45:26,424 --> 00:45:29,325 [CHEERING] 785 00:45:29,327 --> 00:45:32,795 Today I'm gonna talk about, uh... 786 00:45:32,797 --> 00:45:37,366 um, my insecurities. 787 00:45:37,368 --> 00:45:41,304 I think I cared a lot about what people thought of me, 788 00:45:41,306 --> 00:45:47,143 and, uh, suppose I-- I battle that even today. 789 00:45:47,145 --> 00:45:49,479 Um, ahem, 790 00:45:49,481 --> 00:45:51,447 I wonder sometimes if I'm doing too much 791 00:45:53,017 --> 00:45:57,153 because people want me to do a lot. 792 00:45:57,155 --> 00:46:00,022 You know, people are like, oh, you're a hero, you're-- 793 00:46:00,024 --> 00:46:03,659 uh, ahem, you're, uh-- 794 00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:05,161 [COUGHS] 795 00:46:05,163 --> 00:46:07,463 you're an inspiration, so I'm, like, okay, 796 00:46:07,465 --> 00:46:12,301 what can I keep doing to continue to be an inspiration? 797 00:46:12,303 --> 00:46:15,071 [PHONE RINGS] 798 00:46:15,073 --> 00:46:17,473 Hello. WOMAN: Hi, is this Michel? 799 00:46:17,475 --> 00:46:20,309 This is she. Hi, Michel, it's Melanie, 800 00:46:20,311 --> 00:46:23,780 and I am here with Jim Eutizzi, 801 00:46:23,782 --> 00:46:26,549 and then, um, a couple people that I work with. 802 00:46:26,551 --> 00:46:29,118 MICHEL: Oh, okay. How are y'all doin' today? 803 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,821 Good. I'm here with my husband Steve, 804 00:46:31,823 --> 00:46:33,456 and our baby Rivers. 805 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,491 And we've got a, uh-- A message to give Jim. 806 00:46:36,628 --> 00:46:39,028 [BABY BABBLING] 807 00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:40,797 That was from Rivers. 808 00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:42,732 That was hello from Rivers. 809 00:46:42,734 --> 00:46:46,602 And from us, uh, we wanted to let Jim know, 810 00:46:46,604 --> 00:46:49,572 well, ask him if he'd like to, uh-- 811 00:46:49,574 --> 00:46:51,107 To go to Italy with his son, 812 00:46:51,109 --> 00:46:52,942 because we've already bought him tickets 813 00:46:52,944 --> 00:46:56,479 for about 12 days in June. 814 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,915 Here are your tickets. 815 00:46:58,917 --> 00:47:00,917 [SOBBING] 816 00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:11,194 Okay, Michel. 817 00:47:11,196 --> 00:47:12,995 Well, does he want to go or not? 818 00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:14,564 MELANIE: You want to go, right? 819 00:47:14,566 --> 00:47:18,634 Oh, God. 820 00:47:18,636 --> 00:47:22,438 I don't know what to say. 821 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,775 That is so awesome, Melanie. 822 00:47:25,777 --> 00:47:28,244 [INDISTINCT DIALOG] 823 00:47:28,246 --> 00:47:31,280 I don't know what to say. 824 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:39,522 Hi, this is Kurt Warner, 825 00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:41,057 and I support Team Gleason. 826 00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:42,458 No white flags, baby. 827 00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,660 Hi, I'm John Elway for Team Gleason. 828 00:47:44,662 --> 00:47:45,895 No white flags. 829 00:47:45,897 --> 00:47:47,129 I'm Reverend Jesse Jackson. 830 00:47:47,131 --> 00:47:50,132 I support Team Gleason. No white flags. 831 00:47:50,134 --> 00:47:53,069 I'm Mike McCready, 832 00:47:53,071 --> 00:47:57,273 badass guitarist for the greatest rock band ever, 833 00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,875 Pearl Jam. 834 00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:01,244 Hey, I'm-- I'm Steve Gleason. 835 00:48:01,246 --> 00:48:03,346 I'm a totally incredible human being 836 00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:06,415 doing fantastic work with Team Gleason. 837 00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:08,918 Always remember. Always remember, 838 00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,920 BOTH: no white flags. 839 00:48:12,824 --> 00:48:14,991 [NO AUDIBLE DIALOG] 840 00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:17,026 STEVE: It's my belief that 841 00:48:17,028 --> 00:48:19,795 most of what ALS takes away from people, 842 00:48:19,797 --> 00:48:22,231 technology can give back. 843 00:48:30,508 --> 00:48:34,310 It transpires that my oeuvre has evidentiary, 844 00:48:34,312 --> 00:48:36,746 not literary, merit. Damn it. 845 00:48:36,748 --> 00:48:39,382 MICHEL: You lose your voice when you have ALS. 846 00:48:39,384 --> 00:48:41,918 And so he found-- He researched this place 847 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,953 where you can actually, um, voice bank, 848 00:48:43,955 --> 00:48:47,256 so his mechanical voice, instead of being like Stephen Hawking, 849 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,859 his is gonna be his voice. 850 00:48:49,861 --> 00:48:52,862 Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin 851 00:48:52,864 --> 00:48:54,630 also took himself out of the running. 852 00:48:56,134 --> 00:48:58,935 [¶¶¶] 853 00:49:03,908 --> 00:49:05,408 Then it goes to eye technology 854 00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:06,976 where he talks with his eyes, 855 00:49:06,978 --> 00:49:09,679 but he's talking a letter at a time. 856 00:49:09,681 --> 00:49:12,214 WOMAN: When you see the green dots in there, 857 00:49:12,216 --> 00:49:14,383 that means it's picking up on it, 858 00:49:14,385 --> 00:49:16,619 on your eyes. First, let's get back-- 859 00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:19,255 Get-- Get you back. There you go. 860 00:49:19,257 --> 00:49:20,623 Got it. 861 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:23,526 [¶¶¶] 862 00:49:25,496 --> 00:49:26,963 Do you just get really-- 863 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,397 As you get used to it, can you do it-- 864 00:49:28,399 --> 00:49:29,899 Can you-- Can you do it faster? 865 00:49:29,901 --> 00:49:31,400 WOMAN: Oh, gosh, yes. 866 00:49:41,813 --> 00:49:44,714 STEVE: Hi Michel, you rock. 867 00:49:44,716 --> 00:49:46,449 [WOMAN LAUGHING] 868 00:49:48,453 --> 00:49:51,320 It's the first time today, man, I watched, uh, 869 00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:54,523 some of my videos from last couple days, 870 00:49:54,525 --> 00:49:58,027 and I listened to myself and I was-- 871 00:49:58,029 --> 00:50:01,964 Sound-- Probably sound-- 872 00:50:01,966 --> 00:50:07,069 Sound ill. Sound sick. 873 00:50:07,071 --> 00:50:10,172 And that, uh-- 874 00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:12,041 It's tough, man. 875 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,181 I've been thinking about fathers and sons 876 00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:24,787 a lot since you've been born. And... 877 00:50:24,789 --> 00:50:27,390 at this point it looks like we're not going to have 878 00:50:27,392 --> 00:50:30,793 the normal father-son relationship. 879 00:50:32,330 --> 00:50:35,531 I can't go out and play catch with you. 880 00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:38,134 I can't throw you a batting practice. 881 00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:42,238 But, uh, I want to do everything I can 882 00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,807 to be a good father, uh, 883 00:50:44,809 --> 00:50:47,943 to give you what a son needs 884 00:50:47,945 --> 00:50:49,979 from his father. 885 00:50:49,981 --> 00:50:51,180 And, uh, 886 00:50:51,182 --> 00:50:54,650 I'm gonna be around, buddy. 887 00:50:54,652 --> 00:50:58,120 It's not gonna be easy, but it's gonna be awesome. 888 00:50:58,122 --> 00:51:01,657 And I'm gonna be around until 889 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:07,763 you are able to stand on your own, 890 00:51:07,765 --> 00:51:09,865 as a man. 891 00:51:09,867 --> 00:51:12,001 MAN: Steve, how old are you? 892 00:51:12,003 --> 00:51:14,170 34. 34. 893 00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:16,138 Do you know what your weight is right now? 894 00:51:16,140 --> 00:51:18,307 190. 190. 895 00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:19,775 So it's gonna be 24 inches wide, 896 00:51:20,978 --> 00:51:22,478 it's gonna have the casters up here. 897 00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,647 The casters up here, you don't have 'em on this chair 898 00:51:24,649 --> 00:51:28,284 because it's a little more stable base. 899 00:51:28,286 --> 00:51:31,087 [¶¶¶] 900 00:51:36,027 --> 00:51:38,427 [INDISTINCT DIALOG] 901 00:51:42,366 --> 00:51:44,133 STEVE: It's crazy, man. 902 00:51:44,135 --> 00:51:45,768 I am to the point where 903 00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:48,604 I barely go out of the house by myself. 904 00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:51,273 Michel goes everywhere with me now. 905 00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:53,375 She helps me shower. 906 00:51:53,377 --> 00:51:54,810 She helps me put on my clothes. 907 00:51:56,247 --> 00:52:00,116 She helps me eat. 908 00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:01,817 You have a mom who's just incredible. 909 00:52:05,223 --> 00:52:07,123 Incredible. 910 00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:09,592 Remarkable, amazing. 911 00:52:09,594 --> 00:52:13,596 And we're both so lucky to have her. 912 00:52:20,571 --> 00:52:22,838 I think any caretaker, you're always kind of there 913 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,807 trying to make things easier for him. 914 00:52:24,809 --> 00:52:26,842 I just feel like it's-- It is-- It's what I do, 915 00:52:26,844 --> 00:52:28,978 and it's-- It's our relationship, it's what we do, 916 00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:31,247 it's-- It's just kind of, like, part of our life, 917 00:52:31,249 --> 00:52:32,748 like this is-- This is what it is. 918 00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:34,583 So I set up things for him in the morning, 919 00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:36,285 I set up things for him at night, 920 00:52:36,287 --> 00:52:37,920 help him walk, help him brush his teeth, 921 00:52:37,922 --> 00:52:40,222 help him-- Help feed him, and it's-- 922 00:52:40,224 --> 00:52:42,758 It's just kind of like a new part of life. 923 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:46,495 Just like it is learning how to take care of Rivers. 924 00:52:50,067 --> 00:52:51,267 [BABY COOING] 925 00:52:51,269 --> 00:52:54,003 Mm, mm-mm-mm. 926 00:52:54,005 --> 00:52:58,140 [INDISTINCT] 927 00:52:58,142 --> 00:53:01,877 [BABY COOING] 928 00:53:01,879 --> 00:53:03,579 [BABY FUSSING] 929 00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:05,181 Hey. 930 00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:07,583 Hey, man, you're okay. 931 00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:12,488 STEVE: Kids are a lot of frickin' work, man. 932 00:53:12,490 --> 00:53:15,624 And, uh, we get up every three hours 933 00:53:15,626 --> 00:53:18,627 to feed you, and when I say we 934 00:53:18,629 --> 00:53:20,296 I mean Michel. 935 00:53:20,298 --> 00:53:22,064 You like that? 936 00:53:22,066 --> 00:53:25,167 And I can see it's taking a toll on Michel. 937 00:53:25,169 --> 00:53:27,169 She's getting tired. 938 00:53:27,171 --> 00:53:29,738 And I'm gonna think of ways to, uh-- 939 00:53:29,740 --> 00:53:31,607 To help her, 940 00:53:31,609 --> 00:53:35,311 either having someone stay over at night, 941 00:53:35,313 --> 00:53:37,646 or something, we gotta figure out something 942 00:53:37,648 --> 00:53:39,915 because I'd like to somehow ease that, uh, burden 943 00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:44,153 a little bit from her. 944 00:53:44,155 --> 00:53:46,288 So do you-- Are you-- Are you in that? 945 00:53:46,290 --> 00:53:48,123 I mean, are you familiar with any of it, 946 00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:49,458 are you in the-- I mean, you look, 947 00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:51,160 you're obviously in good shape. 948 00:53:51,162 --> 00:53:54,163 I mean, like, you are-- Are you, like, in the therapy world, or-- 949 00:53:54,165 --> 00:53:55,564 No. No? 950 00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:58,934 He's a neighbor and, big enough, like, 951 00:53:58,936 --> 00:54:02,171 he's going to move me where she might not be able to. 952 00:54:02,173 --> 00:54:03,606 You know, he was my hero. 953 00:54:03,608 --> 00:54:05,708 This is the guy that I wanted to be growing up. 954 00:54:05,710 --> 00:54:07,776 Turned out, you know, he was dating Michel, 955 00:54:07,778 --> 00:54:10,346 and Michel used to baby-sit me as a kid. 956 00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:13,082 When he was diagnosed she asked me-- 957 00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:14,683 She gave me an ultimatum. 958 00:54:14,685 --> 00:54:17,586 She said, "Blair, you either quit your job, 959 00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,888 or I'm gonna kick you in your dick." 960 00:54:24,228 --> 00:54:26,595 [GROANING] 961 00:54:31,335 --> 00:54:36,405 Blair and I's life purpose was to make sure Steve was happy. 962 00:54:36,407 --> 00:54:37,873 There's times where Steve would say, 963 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,441 what am I doing? What's the point? 964 00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,510 This is awful. And we'd be like, 965 00:54:41,512 --> 00:54:43,212 okay, like, what can we do? 966 00:54:43,214 --> 00:54:44,947 Do a dance, build him up. 967 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,982 And it was-- We had a fucking bad ass unit. 968 00:54:47,852 --> 00:54:50,452 [¶¶¶] 969 00:54:57,595 --> 00:54:59,862 MICHEL: The journey into the lake, part one. 970 00:54:59,864 --> 00:55:02,331 ...three, go. 971 00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:08,871 [¶¶¶] 972 00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:11,907 Damn! 973 00:55:11,909 --> 00:55:13,976 Rivers, be a part of the fuckin' team, 974 00:55:13,978 --> 00:55:17,246 and eat your goddamn food. 975 00:55:17,248 --> 00:55:19,415 Hey. Hey. Hey. 976 00:55:19,417 --> 00:55:22,217 A-shoo, a-shoo. Hey. Hey. 977 00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:23,819 [BLOWING] 978 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:27,022 ¶ How long have I known you, brother? ¶ 979 00:55:27,024 --> 00:55:29,024 ¶ Hundreds of lives, thousands of years ¶ 980 00:55:31,796 --> 00:55:35,597 I feel like, in many ways, I'm fulfilling my purpose. 981 00:55:35,599 --> 00:55:40,169 I feel excited every day to get up and-- And make 982 00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:44,173 a difference and an impact on people's life. 983 00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:48,477 I feel like I've put together a good team of people 984 00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,079 to help take care of me. 985 00:55:50,081 --> 00:55:53,115 Um, I've put together a good team of people 986 00:55:53,117 --> 00:55:55,517 to look for solutions. 987 00:56:00,791 --> 00:56:06,228 People will say, "Oh, it's such a sad, tragic story." 988 00:56:06,230 --> 00:56:09,098 It is sad, and so they're right, 989 00:56:09,100 --> 00:56:11,033 but it's not all sad. 990 00:56:11,035 --> 00:56:17,639 I think there is more in my future than in my past. 991 00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:21,510 I believe my future is bigger than my past. 992 00:56:21,512 --> 00:56:23,946 And so that's uplifting. 993 00:56:23,948 --> 00:56:25,848 That's inspiring. 994 00:56:25,850 --> 00:56:28,650 [BABBLING] 995 00:56:32,990 --> 00:56:34,523 Bah! 996 00:56:34,525 --> 00:56:38,193 [GIGGLING] 997 00:56:38,195 --> 00:56:41,130 Bah! [GIGGLING] 998 00:56:45,803 --> 00:56:50,205 Lately, the coolest stuff for me has been 999 00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:55,377 you falling asleep on my, uh, lap 1000 00:56:55,379 --> 00:56:58,781 while we drive around in my chair. 1001 00:56:58,783 --> 00:57:02,418 MICHEL: Which you need to name, by the way. 1002 00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:04,987 You mean my electric chair. 1003 00:57:04,989 --> 00:57:06,955 This isn't the electric chair, though. 1004 00:57:06,957 --> 00:57:08,657 MICHEL: EC. 1005 00:57:08,659 --> 00:57:11,126 You should call it gonorrhea because it's temporary. 1006 00:57:12,897 --> 00:57:14,229 [LAUGHING] 1007 00:57:14,231 --> 00:57:15,664 MICHEL: Gonny? 1008 00:57:15,666 --> 00:57:18,133 Gonny. MICHEL: Gonny. 1009 00:57:18,135 --> 00:57:20,636 Gonorrhea's temporary? MICHEL: You just coined it-- 1010 00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:23,138 Yeah. Penicillin cures all that shit. 1011 00:57:23,140 --> 00:57:26,475 And doxycycline. Somebody told me that. 1012 00:57:29,647 --> 00:57:31,413 [BABY FUSSING] 1013 00:57:31,415 --> 00:57:35,384 June 17, 2012. 1014 00:57:35,386 --> 00:57:37,119 Are you gonna shoot it? 1015 00:57:37,121 --> 00:57:39,288 MICHEL: It's a-- Look at the camera, Rivers. 1016 00:57:39,290 --> 00:57:40,889 Oh, Dad-- 1017 00:57:40,891 --> 00:57:43,325 What? MICHEL: It's a video. 1018 00:57:43,327 --> 00:57:45,661 Oh, it's a video. I didn't know that. 1019 00:57:45,663 --> 00:57:47,696 Why didn't you-- Why didn't you tell me that? 1020 00:57:47,698 --> 00:57:49,565 Then I won't be sitting here like a s-- 1021 00:57:49,567 --> 00:57:51,400 Stuffed, uh, pepper. 1022 00:57:51,402 --> 00:57:53,469 Hey, buddy. 1023 00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:57,372 So what are all the numbers for, Steve? 1024 00:57:57,374 --> 00:57:58,674 [LAUGHING] 1025 00:57:58,676 --> 00:58:02,010 What am I missing? Am I missing something? 1026 00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:03,912 MICHEL: All right, he's doing his, uh-- 1027 00:58:03,914 --> 00:58:07,416 June 17, 2012. Oh, I get it. 1028 00:58:07,418 --> 00:58:09,818 [LAUGHING] 1029 00:58:12,490 --> 00:58:18,026 All dads never think that they're, uh, 1030 00:58:18,028 --> 00:58:21,663 annoying their kids like they do, 1031 00:58:21,665 --> 00:58:27,503 so I have no idea how I will annoy you. 1032 00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:29,771 [SIGHS] 1033 00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:35,644 I hope it's not the way that my dad annoys me. 1034 00:58:41,151 --> 00:58:44,553 So your taste buds still working pretty good? 1035 00:58:46,657 --> 00:58:49,291 You still taste stuff? 1036 00:58:51,662 --> 00:58:53,662 You act like you've been eating [BLEEP]. 1037 00:58:53,664 --> 00:58:55,130 You got all embarrassed. 1038 00:58:55,132 --> 00:58:57,165 Your sense of humor still working? 1039 00:58:57,167 --> 00:58:59,201 [LAUGHING] 1040 00:59:02,373 --> 00:59:05,507 I'm sorry, Steve. 1041 00:59:05,509 --> 00:59:06,775 Dad. What? 1042 00:59:06,777 --> 00:59:08,710 I just asked if your taste buds were working. 1043 00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:12,247 Do you know anything about ALS? 1044 00:59:12,249 --> 00:59:15,984 Not a lot, but it looks like it's not-- It's-- 1045 00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:18,820 It doesn't affect your taste buds. 1046 00:59:18,822 --> 00:59:21,557 I didn't know that. Didn't know that. 1047 00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:27,829 I was not embarrassed. I was laughing at you. 1048 00:59:27,831 --> 00:59:29,932 Oh, you were laughing at me. 1049 00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:32,000 'Cause I didn't know that. 1050 00:59:32,002 --> 00:59:34,002 Okay. All right. 1051 00:59:34,004 --> 00:59:36,038 MICHEL: That was one of the best just now. 1052 00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:37,839 What-- He's got-- 1053 00:59:37,841 --> 00:59:42,911 My dad will go from zero to over the line. 1054 00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:48,717 Then like you're like, "Wait, what?" 1055 00:59:50,187 --> 00:59:52,287 So weird. 1056 00:59:56,594 --> 01:00:00,929 STEVE: There's almost nothing more personal than 1057 01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:04,299 a father-son relationship, you know. 1058 01:00:04,301 --> 01:00:08,804 What I think is so interesting is that, uh, 1059 01:00:08,806 --> 01:00:12,908 this is obviously-- 1060 01:00:12,910 --> 01:00:15,310 This whole thing, these video journals, this film, 1061 01:00:17,214 --> 01:00:20,616 all this is about a father and a son. 1062 01:00:20,618 --> 01:00:23,085 Um, my dad and I, I think, 1063 01:00:23,087 --> 01:00:25,420 believe a lot of the same things, 1064 01:00:25,422 --> 01:00:31,860 but he's this wacky, fundamental, literal, uh, 1065 01:00:31,862 --> 01:00:36,765 kind of single-minded man 1066 01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:38,333 who thinks that I should believe 1067 01:00:39,570 --> 01:00:42,571 exactly what he believes 1068 01:00:42,573 --> 01:00:45,774 in order to be saved, I guess. 1069 01:00:52,716 --> 01:00:56,051 I was diagnosed with a terminal illness 1070 01:00:56,053 --> 01:01:00,389 and I know that when you get scared 1071 01:01:00,391 --> 01:01:02,357 you're going to jump to your camp 1072 01:01:02,359 --> 01:01:04,359 that I need to pray like you. 1073 01:01:04,361 --> 01:01:08,163 I need to believe all the same things that you believe. 1074 01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:12,000 You promised me that you would not question my faith. 1075 01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:13,335 Okay. 1076 01:01:13,337 --> 01:01:17,539 But every time you question my faith it crushes me. 1077 01:01:17,541 --> 01:01:20,709 I-- I can understand that. 1078 01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:24,012 Because here's the thing about faith, 1079 01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:26,181 you can't argue with someone's faith. 1080 01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:27,449 That's true. 1081 01:01:27,451 --> 01:01:30,218 You can't debate with someone's beliefs. 1082 01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:31,286 That's true. 1083 01:01:31,288 --> 01:01:34,723 Because there's no proof either way. 1084 01:01:34,725 --> 01:01:38,727 Stop trying to understand 1085 01:01:38,729 --> 01:01:41,196 with your mind 1086 01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:46,201 the relationship between my heart and God. 1087 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:47,402 Okay. 1088 01:01:47,404 --> 01:01:52,174 My soul is saved. 1089 01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:53,909 Okay. 1090 01:01:57,648 --> 01:02:01,016 Don't be angry at me. Please. 1091 01:02:06,423 --> 01:02:09,858 [SOBBING] 1092 01:02:09,860 --> 01:02:13,028 Stephen, you're my son. 1093 01:02:14,465 --> 01:02:15,864 [SOBBING] 1094 01:02:15,866 --> 01:02:18,233 You don't know what it feels like inside 1095 01:02:18,235 --> 01:02:21,136 that-- That I might lose you, man, 1096 01:02:21,138 --> 01:02:22,771 you don't know what if feels like, 1097 01:02:22,773 --> 01:02:25,540 it's killing me. 1098 01:02:25,542 --> 01:02:28,243 [SOBBING] 1099 01:02:37,721 --> 01:02:40,288 Glad you came. 1100 01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:42,891 I love you, Stephen, with everything inside of me. 1101 01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:45,494 I love you too, Dad. 1102 01:02:53,570 --> 01:02:56,271 [BABY CRYING] 1103 01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:04,479 Who the hell brings their kid to this thing? 1104 01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:08,116 All right, ready? 1105 01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:10,852 [LIP BUZZING] [COOING] 1106 01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:25,534 I'm out of breath. 1107 01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:36,578 I think part of what we do every day is search for 1108 01:03:36,580 --> 01:03:38,680 something that's.... 1109 01:03:38,682 --> 01:03:42,417 permanent stabilization, and, 1110 01:03:42,419 --> 01:03:44,786 you know, maybe that's not out there, 1111 01:03:44,788 --> 01:03:48,890 but I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful. 1112 01:03:52,196 --> 01:03:55,363 All right, bud. You'll be great. 1113 01:03:55,365 --> 01:03:57,499 Prick you here, okay? 1114 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:58,934 All right. 1115 01:03:58,936 --> 01:04:01,536 [MACHINE HUMMING] 1116 01:04:01,538 --> 01:04:05,073 There's been cases where stem cell has worked. 1117 01:04:05,075 --> 01:04:08,510 Some ALS patients will have the procedure, 1118 01:04:08,512 --> 01:04:11,479 and they will not progress any further. 1119 01:04:19,823 --> 01:04:22,157 MICHEL: We spent lots of time in the hospital. 1120 01:04:22,159 --> 01:04:23,725 Like, just sitting there, 1121 01:04:23,727 --> 01:04:26,561 so I needed to do something so I just started drawing. 1122 01:04:28,532 --> 01:04:30,532 When I was drawing, I could completely ignore 1123 01:04:30,534 --> 01:04:32,534 any doctors that came in, or anybody who came in 1124 01:04:32,536 --> 01:04:33,935 that I didn't want to talk to. 1125 01:04:33,937 --> 01:04:36,071 I just completely can zone out. 1126 01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:57,659 He wants us to call an ambulance. 1127 01:04:59,696 --> 01:05:02,330 Ask him if we should. Ask him if we should. 1128 01:05:02,332 --> 01:05:04,232 BLAIR: After that surgery, 1129 01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:06,534 there was definitely an adverse effect, 1130 01:05:06,536 --> 01:05:08,603 and he was in such a large amount of pain, 1131 01:05:10,207 --> 01:05:13,675 he was convinced that he was gonna die. 1132 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:19,814 I love you. You love me? 1133 01:05:19,816 --> 01:05:22,317 I love you too, are you scared? 1134 01:05:23,453 --> 01:05:25,086 You are? 1135 01:05:27,124 --> 01:05:33,461 Earlier this week I had stem cell therapy. 1136 01:05:33,463 --> 01:05:35,597 And, uh... 1137 01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:38,400 so far, not so good. 1138 01:05:38,402 --> 01:05:40,235 MICHEL: All right, with steady pressure 1139 01:05:40,237 --> 01:05:42,103 gently insert enema tip into rectum 1140 01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:44,039 with a slight side to side movement 1141 01:05:44,041 --> 01:05:47,375 with tip pointing toward navel. 1142 01:05:47,377 --> 01:05:48,743 Michel, look, 1143 01:05:48,745 --> 01:05:51,813 you have to be able to do this. 1144 01:05:51,815 --> 01:05:53,114 Okay. 1145 01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,850 Don't get me down there and make me wait 1146 01:05:55,852 --> 01:06:00,121 for fucking 10 minutes, okay? 1147 01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:02,791 Okay? Yeah. 1148 01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:04,726 Okay. 1149 01:06:07,130 --> 01:06:10,165 Is this your butt? 1150 01:06:11,935 --> 01:06:15,804 BLAIR: Oh, my God. [LAUGHING] 1151 01:06:15,806 --> 01:06:17,472 MICHEL: Okay. BLAIR: Is it all in? 1152 01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:18,606 It's all in. 1153 01:06:18,608 --> 01:06:20,208 Besides the stuff that's in his-- 1154 01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:24,412 I don't think anything went in. 1155 01:06:24,414 --> 01:06:26,781 You didn't feel it? Nothing. 1156 01:06:26,783 --> 01:06:29,250 God-fuckin'-damn it! 1157 01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:37,425 Who knows about enemas? 1158 01:06:37,427 --> 01:06:38,960 Judy Robert, thank you for coming. 1159 01:06:38,962 --> 01:06:40,962 We have some-- We have some questions for you. 1160 01:06:40,964 --> 01:06:43,732 Judy, do you know what you're about to get yourself into? 1161 01:06:43,734 --> 01:06:45,300 I have a whole bottle of lube. 1162 01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:47,302 What kind of lube did you bring? Is it scented? 1163 01:06:47,304 --> 01:06:48,937 I have-- Actually, I think it is. 1164 01:06:48,939 --> 01:06:50,672 It is. What scent did you get? 1165 01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,140 Um, baby powder fresh. 1166 01:06:52,142 --> 01:06:54,075 Baby powder fresh. I love that smell. 1167 01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:55,510 It's a truly beautiful smell. 1168 01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,679 So, what are you expecting out of Steve today? 1169 01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:59,014 Um, a lot of shit. 1170 01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:01,716 [LAUGHING] I hope to get a lot of shit out. 1171 01:07:01,718 --> 01:07:03,385 All right. 1172 01:07:03,387 --> 01:07:05,553 I'm gonna know you in a whole new way. 1173 01:07:05,555 --> 01:07:09,391 So do you feel it? I mean, does it feel-- 1174 01:07:09,393 --> 01:07:11,459 We record-- Recorded Steve earlier. 1175 01:07:11,461 --> 01:07:13,995 "I feel like there's a football lodged in my ass." 1176 01:07:13,997 --> 01:07:16,931 Okay, so, yeah, there's probably like this. 1177 01:07:16,933 --> 01:07:18,533 You all right? 1178 01:07:21,838 --> 01:07:23,204 [STEVE GROANS] 1179 01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:25,173 Judy, What? 1180 01:07:25,175 --> 01:07:30,979 am I the hottest guy you've ever ass fingered? 1181 01:07:30,981 --> 01:07:33,581 [LAUGHING] 1182 01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:37,819 [STEVE GROANING] 1183 01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:43,358 JUDY: That's it. That's it. 1184 01:07:52,436 --> 01:07:54,702 Rivers. 1185 01:08:01,745 --> 01:08:05,580 I'm having a bad day. 1186 01:08:06,450 --> 01:08:11,352 I'm an asshole to people, 1187 01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:13,655 and I don't care. 1188 01:08:13,657 --> 01:08:16,758 I can't talk. 1189 01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:19,727 I think the-- 1190 01:08:19,729 --> 01:08:22,297 The last of my 1191 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,802 talking days are here. 1192 01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:37,812 The drugs I take don't work. 1193 01:08:39,349 --> 01:08:44,119 I have no faith that I can heal. 1194 01:08:46,089 --> 01:08:49,290 I have no hope. None. 1195 01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:53,461 No hope whatever. 1196 01:08:57,567 --> 01:09:01,069 I want to punch 1197 01:09:01,071 --> 01:09:04,572 something, but I can't. 1198 01:09:08,145 --> 01:09:12,847 The only thing I can do is scream. 1199 01:09:14,818 --> 01:09:16,718 [SCREAMING] 1200 01:09:32,602 --> 01:09:35,403 DREW BREES: "On Monday, September 25, 2006, 1201 01:09:35,405 --> 01:09:36,871 "Steve Gleason was responsible for 1202 01:09:36,873 --> 01:09:38,439 "one of the most dramatic moments 1203 01:09:38,441 --> 01:09:40,275 "in New Orleans Saints history. 1204 01:09:40,277 --> 01:09:41,843 "He blocked a punt in the first quarter 1205 01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:43,645 "of the team's return to the Superdome 1206 01:09:43,647 --> 01:09:45,480 "following hurricane Katrina. 1207 01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:47,482 "That blocked punt, that season, 1208 01:09:47,484 --> 01:09:49,884 "symbolized the rebirth of the city of New Orleans." 1209 01:09:51,288 --> 01:09:55,423 Amen. [APPLAUSE] 1210 01:09:59,062 --> 01:10:03,831 Yesterday, about five minutes 1211 01:10:03,833 --> 01:10:06,334 after I got home 1212 01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:12,073 I pooped all over myself and my wheelchair. 1213 01:10:12,075 --> 01:10:14,475 And I think it's crazy 1214 01:10:14,477 --> 01:10:17,145 that I can go from 1215 01:10:17,147 --> 01:10:19,847 people saying, "You're my hero," 1216 01:10:19,849 --> 01:10:25,620 to having to be helped onto a toilet 1217 01:10:25,622 --> 01:10:30,491 with my pants full of shit. 1218 01:10:30,493 --> 01:10:36,898 It's an incredible example of polarities, 1219 01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:39,400 and dichotomies, 1220 01:10:39,402 --> 01:10:42,937 and juxtapositions 1221 01:10:42,939 --> 01:10:45,940 that is my life. 1222 01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:50,645 ¶ Happy birthday, dear Rivers ¶ 1223 01:10:50,647 --> 01:10:55,350 ¶ Happy birthday to you ¶¶ 1224 01:10:55,352 --> 01:10:57,952 [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 1225 01:10:59,889 --> 01:11:02,457 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1226 01:11:18,341 --> 01:11:21,709 [¶¶¶] 1227 01:11:47,404 --> 01:11:48,770 WOMAN: When you blow out, 1228 01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:50,972 you gotta blow out hard and fast, 1229 01:11:50,974 --> 01:11:54,042 'cause it's measuring how much you get out in one second, okay? 1230 01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:57,478 A normal breathe in. 1231 01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:00,348 Suck in. Now blow, push! 1232 01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:03,284 Push. Push, push, push, push, push push, 1233 01:12:03,286 --> 01:12:05,720 push, push, push, push, suck in big. 1234 01:12:05,722 --> 01:12:06,954 That's terrible. 1235 01:12:06,956 --> 01:12:09,357 Uh-oh, we're not accepting that one. 1236 01:12:09,359 --> 01:12:11,693 It's supposed to look like that. 1237 01:12:14,264 --> 01:12:15,730 When did you get this? 1238 01:12:15,732 --> 01:12:18,733 You didn't have this last time when I saw you. 1239 01:12:18,735 --> 01:12:22,704 A few weeks ago. That's so cool. 1240 01:12:22,706 --> 01:12:26,240 This setup I have costs $6,000, 1241 01:12:26,242 --> 01:12:30,345 but others cost 20k. 1242 01:12:31,348 --> 01:12:34,315 [MOANS] 1243 01:12:34,317 --> 01:12:36,384 [BABBLING] [MOANS] 1244 01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:38,186 Alligator. 1245 01:12:38,188 --> 01:12:41,255 Mom. Alligator. 1246 01:12:41,257 --> 01:12:43,758 I love him. 1247 01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,227 Ah. Daddy. 1248 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:48,429 [LAUGHING] 1249 01:12:50,367 --> 01:12:52,433 Say it again, bud. 1250 01:12:53,737 --> 01:12:56,237 Daddy. 1251 01:12:56,239 --> 01:12:58,139 Daddy. 1252 01:12:58,141 --> 01:12:59,741 Daddy. 1253 01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:01,175 Daddy. 1254 01:13:01,177 --> 01:13:03,444 [BABBLING] 1255 01:13:03,446 --> 01:13:06,180 I love him. 1256 01:13:06,182 --> 01:13:08,116 [BABBLING] 1257 01:13:14,090 --> 01:13:17,024 I love him. 1258 01:13:17,026 --> 01:13:18,793 [BABBLING] 1259 01:13:22,699 --> 01:13:26,000 Rivers, I want to talk about obstacles 1260 01:13:26,002 --> 01:13:27,435 in adversity. 1261 01:13:27,437 --> 01:13:29,103 No matter what, how wealthy you are, 1262 01:13:30,039 --> 01:13:31,372 how poor you are, 1263 01:13:31,374 --> 01:13:33,141 we all face adversity. 1264 01:13:33,143 --> 01:13:35,343 I do not want you to fail, 1265 01:13:35,345 --> 01:13:37,945 but I want you to put yourself out there, 1266 01:13:37,947 --> 01:13:40,782 and available for potential rejection. 1267 01:13:40,784 --> 01:13:44,685 In ways, I think, that's how we succeed 1268 01:13:44,687 --> 01:13:46,721 because that's how we grow, 1269 01:13:46,723 --> 01:13:49,424 and that's how we gain perspective. 1270 01:13:49,426 --> 01:13:53,494 ¶ When I'm wiser ¶ 1271 01:13:53,496 --> 01:13:57,698 ¶ And growing taller ¶ 1272 01:13:57,700 --> 01:14:02,603 ¶ I will see your way ¶ 1273 01:14:05,375 --> 01:14:10,445 ¶ When I've come to the ¶ 1274 01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:13,314 ¶ Places I'm goin' ¶ 1275 01:14:13,316 --> 01:14:18,986 ¶ I will know your ways ¶ 1276 01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:25,560 ¶ Oooh ¶ 1277 01:14:25,562 --> 01:14:29,597 ¶ Ooh, ooh, ooh ¶ 1278 01:14:29,599 --> 01:14:32,500 ¶ Ooh, ooh ¶ 1279 01:14:32,502 --> 01:14:36,003 ¶ Ooh, ooh, ooh ¶ 1280 01:14:37,373 --> 01:14:39,440 ¶ I can feel it hurt now ¶ 1281 01:14:39,442 --> 01:14:42,777 ¶ I can turn this pain plain ¶ 1282 01:14:45,381 --> 01:14:47,014 ¶ Try and see it clear ¶ 1283 01:14:47,016 --> 01:14:49,283 ¶ But I don't know why it's here ¶ 1284 01:14:49,285 --> 01:14:51,385 No! 1285 01:14:51,387 --> 01:14:53,120 Whoa. 1286 01:14:53,122 --> 01:14:55,490 ¶ You can keep the sound down ¶ 1287 01:14:55,492 --> 01:14:57,625 ¶ As long as you want now ¶ 1288 01:14:57,627 --> 01:15:00,862 ¶ Dude, yeah ¶ 1289 01:15:00,864 --> 01:15:03,130 ¶ You can push it on another ¶ 1290 01:15:03,132 --> 01:15:05,967 ¶ Damn, that man's your brother ¶ 1291 01:15:05,969 --> 01:15:08,035 Oh-oh. 1292 01:15:09,772 --> 01:15:13,508 ¶ When I'm wiser ¶ 1293 01:15:13,510 --> 01:15:17,545 ¶ And growing taller ¶ 1294 01:15:17,547 --> 01:15:22,917 ¶ I will see your eyes ¶ 1295 01:15:25,588 --> 01:15:27,855 ¶ When I'm wiser ¶ 1296 01:15:27,857 --> 01:15:29,457 [LAUGHING] 1297 01:15:29,459 --> 01:15:33,528 ¶ And growing taller ¶ 1298 01:15:33,530 --> 01:15:39,066 ¶ I will see your eyes ¶ 1299 01:15:41,204 --> 01:15:43,237 ¶ When I've come to the places I've been ¶ 1300 01:15:49,212 --> 01:15:51,712 ¶ I will know ¶ 1301 01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:53,981 MICHEL: Yay! 1302 01:15:56,486 --> 01:15:58,286 [RIVERS SHOUTING] 1303 01:15:58,288 --> 01:16:00,688 [VOICES ON TV] 1304 01:16:02,191 --> 01:16:05,226 I wasn't sleeping at night because I was caretaking for Steve. 1305 01:16:05,228 --> 01:16:09,297 [VOICES ON TV CONTINUE] 1306 01:16:09,299 --> 01:16:11,132 And then, uh, the addition 1307 01:16:11,134 --> 01:16:14,001 of Rivers getting a little bit more needy. 1308 01:16:14,003 --> 01:16:16,470 It was hard doing that plus taking care of a kid. 1309 01:16:16,472 --> 01:16:18,806 [TV continues] 1310 01:16:18,808 --> 01:16:23,010 At some point put Rivers on my lap. 1311 01:16:29,686 --> 01:16:32,286 At some point put Rivers on my lap. 1312 01:16:32,288 --> 01:16:35,590 Rivers, look at me, You do not hit your mom. 1313 01:16:41,898 --> 01:16:43,631 You cannot hit your mommy. 1314 01:16:43,633 --> 01:16:45,533 You're going to go to time out. 1315 01:16:45,535 --> 01:16:47,802 [CRYING] 1316 01:16:56,679 --> 01:16:58,012 All right, buddy. 1317 01:16:58,014 --> 01:17:00,414 Now you know you cannot hit your mommy. 1318 01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:01,716 [CRYING] 1319 01:17:01,718 --> 01:17:03,784 You understand why you were in there? 1320 01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:05,653 Because you hit me three times. 1321 01:17:05,655 --> 01:17:07,622 You cannot do that, okay? 1322 01:17:07,624 --> 01:17:08,923 All right, bud? 1323 01:17:08,925 --> 01:17:10,791 People started saying, like, 1324 01:17:10,793 --> 01:17:12,660 "Michel, you need help, you need help, 1325 01:17:12,662 --> 01:17:14,695 you need more help," and it's kind of like, 1326 01:17:14,697 --> 01:17:16,697 well, this has turned into my purpose, 1327 01:17:16,699 --> 01:17:18,599 and I don't want to seem weak, 1328 01:17:18,601 --> 01:17:20,768 and, like, I see other people doing it. 1329 01:17:26,409 --> 01:17:28,743 Can I get a pillow? 1330 01:17:37,286 --> 01:17:38,953 Come on now. 1331 01:19:20,456 --> 01:19:24,492 Honestly, I think the enormity of what she's going through now 1332 01:19:24,494 --> 01:19:26,694 and dealing with this situation 1333 01:19:26,696 --> 01:19:28,195 just takes all of her energy. 1334 01:19:28,197 --> 01:19:30,097 I still think she's trying her best 1335 01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:31,832 to do as much as she can for people 1336 01:19:31,834 --> 01:19:35,102 and especially for Rivers and Steve and her family 1337 01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:38,506 and struggling just to deal with the situation. 1338 01:19:40,476 --> 01:19:42,877 It's easier, almost, to, like, make a difference 1339 01:19:42,879 --> 01:19:44,411 with the world with this disease. 1340 01:19:44,413 --> 01:19:47,782 It's, uh, some face time on TV or some speeches 1341 01:19:47,784 --> 01:19:48,983 or some Tweets, 1342 01:19:48,985 --> 01:19:50,317 versus, like, the reality 1343 01:19:50,319 --> 01:19:52,353 of the hardness it is to maintain relationships 1344 01:19:52,355 --> 01:19:54,388 when you can't move or help or talk, 1345 01:19:54,390 --> 01:19:56,991 and so we're just kind of traveling like this, 1346 01:19:56,993 --> 01:19:58,659 like we're not separating, 1347 01:19:58,661 --> 01:20:03,097 but we're separated in what we wanted to do with life. 1348 01:20:03,099 --> 01:20:05,332 WOMAN: Tonight the federal government is saying no 1349 01:20:05,334 --> 01:20:07,701 to some devices that give people with disabilities 1350 01:20:07,703 --> 01:20:09,336 a voice literally. 1351 01:20:09,338 --> 01:20:11,338 MAN: Recent changes to Medicare and Medicaid 1352 01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,307 have limited ALS patients access 1353 01:20:13,309 --> 01:20:15,876 to speech generation devices. 1354 01:20:15,878 --> 01:20:18,479 Team Gleason became one of the only entities 1355 01:20:18,481 --> 01:20:22,149 that was giving these speech devices, 1356 01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:25,152 so the people that couldn't afford it through Medicare anymore 1357 01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,754 still wanted to communicate, 1358 01:20:26,756 --> 01:20:28,689 and we wanted them to be able to communicate, 1359 01:20:28,691 --> 01:20:31,559 so we just started fulfilling all of our requests, 1360 01:20:31,561 --> 01:20:35,529 which meant it was 2 and 3 and 400,000 a month. 1361 01:20:37,867 --> 01:20:39,533 We were able to fill every request 1362 01:20:39,535 --> 01:20:41,135 that people asked of us. 1363 01:20:41,137 --> 01:20:44,672 So much so that it's depleted our money that we had, 1364 01:20:44,674 --> 01:20:47,675 so we're now actually going out and beating on doors 1365 01:20:47,677 --> 01:20:51,245 and asking people for money again. 1366 01:20:51,247 --> 01:20:53,480 WOMAN: Former Saints team captain Steve Gleason 1367 01:20:53,482 --> 01:20:56,417 and his foundation organized a Gleason Gras, 1368 01:20:56,419 --> 01:20:58,586 a music celebration at Champion Square 1369 01:20:58,588 --> 01:21:00,554 to raise money and awareness about ALS. 1370 01:21:02,225 --> 01:21:04,625 When I say "Gleason," you say "Gras." 1371 01:21:04,627 --> 01:21:05,926 Gleason! CROWD: Gras! 1372 01:21:05,928 --> 01:21:07,494 Gleason! Gras! 1373 01:21:07,496 --> 01:21:09,897 MAN: Thousands gathered to celebrate 1374 01:21:09,899 --> 01:21:13,167 the inspiring effort of one man. 1375 01:21:14,637 --> 01:21:18,272 You've changed my life. 1376 01:21:18,274 --> 01:21:20,574 You're so great. 1377 01:21:26,415 --> 01:21:29,783 We went up to Washington and met with the Secretary 1378 01:21:29,785 --> 01:21:32,019 of the Department of Health and Human Services 1379 01:21:32,021 --> 01:21:34,021 and pled our case. 1380 01:21:36,359 --> 01:21:39,126 We hope to pass this law, 1381 01:21:39,128 --> 01:21:43,063 and once again Medicare will pay for these devices. 1382 01:21:47,536 --> 01:21:49,069 [RIVERS FUSSING] 1383 01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:50,304 No. Yes. 1384 01:21:50,306 --> 01:21:53,707 One bite of this, and I'll give you chips. 1385 01:21:53,709 --> 01:21:57,645 We had no idea Steve was just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger. 1386 01:21:57,647 --> 01:21:59,947 I think with Team Gleason, he's putting too much 1387 01:21:59,949 --> 01:22:01,482 into Team Gleason and not doing enough 1388 01:22:01,484 --> 01:22:03,350 of his video journals and stuff for Rivers. 1389 01:22:03,352 --> 01:22:05,219 I think it's a balancing act. 1390 01:22:05,221 --> 01:22:07,855 We all have to balance things. It's kind of his balance. 1391 01:22:07,857 --> 01:22:11,458 And it's a huge-- It's super-hard. 1392 01:22:11,460 --> 01:22:13,460 [SIGHS] 1393 01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:22,870 VOICE SIMULATOR: This is the most significant achievement 1394 01:22:22,872 --> 01:22:25,606 for Team Gleason to date. 1395 01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:28,208 [CHEERING] 1396 01:22:32,815 --> 01:22:36,483 What's going on here, Rivers? 1397 01:22:36,485 --> 01:22:39,119 See all the cameras? 1398 01:22:39,121 --> 01:22:40,587 You like it in here? 1399 01:22:40,589 --> 01:22:43,891 VOICE SIMULATOR: Hey, Vavoom, what you doing? 1400 01:22:43,893 --> 01:22:46,060 What you doing? 1401 01:22:57,807 --> 01:22:59,206 Steve has wanted to be a hero, 1402 01:22:59,208 --> 01:23:02,409 and it's amazing that he has gotten-- 1403 01:23:02,411 --> 01:23:04,244 And he is legitimately a hero-- 1404 01:23:04,246 --> 01:23:06,880 Like, of a town for blocking a punt, 1405 01:23:06,882 --> 01:23:09,016 and now, like, the face of ALS. 1406 01:23:09,018 --> 01:23:11,051 But people come up to me and be like, 1407 01:23:11,053 --> 01:23:12,920 "Congratulations." 1408 01:23:12,922 --> 01:23:15,656 And you're like, "For what?" 1409 01:23:15,658 --> 01:23:17,091 Like, "What are you talk--" 1410 01:23:17,093 --> 01:23:19,927 Because, like, "What? What do you mean?" 1411 01:23:19,929 --> 01:23:21,128 It's just such a-- 1412 01:23:21,130 --> 01:23:23,764 This whole thing is a huge mind fuck. 1413 01:23:58,801 --> 01:24:02,336 STEVE: It's important to me that we do Rivers sandwich 1414 01:24:02,338 --> 01:24:04,972 and nose kiss every night, Michel. 1415 01:24:04,974 --> 01:24:11,445 That's the only physical time I get with him all day. 1416 01:24:11,447 --> 01:24:13,147 Okay. 1417 01:24:18,220 --> 01:24:20,821 You tried to skip it tonight. 1418 01:24:22,725 --> 01:24:24,792 Okay. 1419 01:24:24,794 --> 01:24:27,094 And you took-- Okay. 1420 01:24:33,002 --> 01:24:35,502 Thanks. 1421 01:24:38,607 --> 01:24:41,175 Thanks. 1422 01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:44,478 You're welcome. 1423 01:24:46,148 --> 01:24:48,115 I didn't mean it stupid. 1424 01:24:48,117 --> 01:24:50,350 I just didn't think about it. 1425 01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:07,101 Are you okay, Mick? 1426 01:25:07,103 --> 01:25:08,869 Great. 1427 01:25:10,739 --> 01:25:12,806 Yeah. 1428 01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:19,346 Shit. 1429 01:25:44,039 --> 01:25:45,839 Are you okay? 1430 01:25:45,841 --> 01:25:47,875 Yep. 1431 01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:55,182 I feel like you have no compassion towards me. 1432 01:25:55,184 --> 01:25:57,251 Everything is rushed. 1433 01:25:57,253 --> 01:26:00,320 You always have somewhere else to be. 1434 01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:02,723 You finish my sentences. 1435 01:26:02,725 --> 01:26:06,360 You rush any care that you give me. 1436 01:26:06,362 --> 01:26:10,397 I don't understand what I did to deserve it. 1437 01:26:10,399 --> 01:26:13,834 Please tell me how I can improve. 1438 01:26:15,237 --> 01:26:17,804 You walked by me ten times tonight 1439 01:26:17,806 --> 01:26:20,274 while Rivers was on my lap. 1440 01:26:20,276 --> 01:26:22,709 I tried to get your attention. 1441 01:26:22,711 --> 01:26:26,413 You didn't even look at me. 1442 01:26:27,983 --> 01:26:30,250 Sorry. 1443 01:26:32,388 --> 01:26:34,321 I don't think it's anything you can improve. 1444 01:26:34,323 --> 01:26:37,891 I think it's how I can improve. 1445 01:26:37,893 --> 01:26:41,929 Do you feel angry when you are with me? 1446 01:26:41,931 --> 01:26:46,099 Um... No. 1447 01:26:46,101 --> 01:26:48,001 I feel more angry with myself, 1448 01:26:48,003 --> 01:26:52,272 for how I feel in general. 1449 01:26:55,110 --> 01:27:00,280 What can I do to be more important to you? 1450 01:27:00,282 --> 01:27:02,983 I don't know. 1451 01:27:07,756 --> 01:27:11,758 If you want to talk-- You don't have to, 1452 01:27:11,760 --> 01:27:15,262 but if you want to, I will listen. 1453 01:27:15,264 --> 01:27:17,531 Thank you, buddy. 1454 01:27:30,145 --> 01:27:32,746 [PLAYING GUITAR] 1455 01:27:35,384 --> 01:27:37,784 MICHEL: That's my favorite song. 1456 01:27:37,786 --> 01:27:40,287 MAN: Your favorite song is "Come Back"? 1457 01:27:40,289 --> 01:27:42,756 [CHATTER] 1458 01:27:46,695 --> 01:27:51,265 I must say I have done some amazing stuff in my life, 1459 01:27:51,267 --> 01:27:55,902 but this experience was right at the top of the list. 1460 01:27:55,904 --> 01:28:01,742 I just interviewed Pearl Jam on their latest album. 1461 01:28:01,744 --> 01:28:04,344 The music you guys have created 1462 01:28:04,346 --> 01:28:05,812 has plastered the wall 1463 01:28:05,814 --> 01:28:08,548 of my adolescent and adult life. 1464 01:28:08,550 --> 01:28:10,017 I want to thank you 1465 01:28:10,019 --> 01:28:12,653 for providing the significant portion 1466 01:28:12,655 --> 01:28:16,456 of the soundtrack for my life. 1467 01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:18,592 I have my son Rivers. 1468 01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:22,029 I am assembling a video journal library for him 1469 01:28:22,031 --> 01:28:27,301 in case the experts are right about my timed life. 1470 01:28:27,303 --> 01:28:29,469 You did not know your dad. 1471 01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:34,775 What are a couple of things you wish you knew about him? 1472 01:28:34,777 --> 01:28:38,412 Yeah, see if I can get through this. Um... 1473 01:28:39,848 --> 01:28:42,015 That's a great question and coming from you. 1474 01:28:43,419 --> 01:28:45,018 Um, I couldn't appreciate it more. 1475 01:28:46,822 --> 01:28:48,055 Um... 1476 01:28:48,057 --> 01:28:51,591 Of course I think just deep down I just would-- 1477 01:28:53,429 --> 01:28:57,164 Would have wanted to know just, you know, 1478 01:28:57,166 --> 01:28:59,833 if he loved me and how much, you know. 1479 01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,936 I get the idea that he did, you know. 1480 01:29:05,374 --> 01:29:08,308 But, uh, the other nice thing would have been 1481 01:29:08,310 --> 01:29:11,712 just having, um, someone of my own blood 1482 01:29:11,714 --> 01:29:15,282 give me some insight of-- And, you know, 1483 01:29:15,284 --> 01:29:17,584 what it would be like to... 1484 01:29:18,821 --> 01:29:22,422 grow up and, you know, be a man, a good man. 1485 01:29:22,424 --> 01:29:23,890 I wish he was around now, 1486 01:29:23,892 --> 01:29:27,260 and I like to think he'd be proud of me. 1487 01:29:27,262 --> 01:29:29,129 Thanks, man. 1488 01:29:30,966 --> 01:29:33,533 I-- I knew this was going to come in handy for something, 1489 01:29:33,535 --> 01:29:35,836 but I didn't know what. 1490 01:29:37,740 --> 01:29:41,408 Steve Gleason sitting in for Barbara Walters this week. 1491 01:29:47,750 --> 01:29:52,386 Rivers, you are an awesome boy or man, 1492 01:29:52,388 --> 01:29:54,087 depending on what times in your life 1493 01:29:55,257 --> 01:29:57,157 you happen to watch this. 1494 01:29:57,159 --> 01:30:00,427 But the world can grind on you. 1495 01:30:00,429 --> 01:30:02,496 Do not become obsessive 1496 01:30:02,498 --> 01:30:04,097 to the point where you are unhappy. 1497 01:30:05,534 --> 01:30:07,100 Let your best stand for what it is. 1498 01:30:08,537 --> 01:30:11,838 If it's not sufficient, that's okay. 1499 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:15,442 You did your best. Move on. 1500 01:30:18,347 --> 01:30:19,980 We're a grassroot, 1501 01:30:19,982 --> 01:30:22,549 pretty much, you know, pro bono kind of things, 1502 01:30:22,551 --> 01:30:23,750 volunteers, 1503 01:30:23,752 --> 01:30:25,552 that has done in two years 1504 01:30:25,554 --> 01:30:27,387 some incredible things. 1505 01:30:27,389 --> 01:30:30,056 To live with ALS is hard enough as it is, 1506 01:30:30,058 --> 01:30:32,926 but I think to live in the way that Steve is living with it, 1507 01:30:32,928 --> 01:30:34,995 you know, to be so out front and public, 1508 01:30:34,997 --> 01:30:37,597 uh, there's a lot of sacrifice comes with that, 1509 01:30:37,599 --> 01:30:40,200 and I think it's a sacrifice, you know, on your family 1510 01:30:40,202 --> 01:30:42,803 and to have your priorities in the right place. 1511 01:30:42,805 --> 01:30:47,474 You know, we have to reflect on where we need to be. 1512 01:30:47,476 --> 01:30:48,942 I think it's going to be up to Steve, 1513 01:30:48,944 --> 01:30:50,977 knowing that all these people want to partner up 1514 01:30:50,979 --> 01:30:53,313 with, you know, where he wants to go, in which direction. 1515 01:30:53,315 --> 01:30:58,351 I realize that I have pushed us to the point we are right now, 1516 01:30:58,353 --> 01:31:03,023 but I think I need to get more into balance. 1517 01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:07,294 I am frustrated because I have only written 1518 01:31:07,296 --> 01:31:11,731 two or three journals in the past few months. 1519 01:31:11,733 --> 01:31:14,835 I am tired. Michel is tired. 1520 01:31:14,837 --> 01:31:20,140 I think we, Michel and I, need to pull back quite a lot. 1521 01:31:23,679 --> 01:31:26,079 It was like music to our ears because it's like 1522 01:31:26,081 --> 01:31:28,415 finally Steve is going to take a step back 1523 01:31:28,417 --> 01:31:30,050 and just focus on what really matters, 1524 01:31:30,052 --> 01:31:33,420 and that's his health, his relationship with his wife, 1525 01:31:33,422 --> 01:31:35,489 and his son Rivers. 1526 01:31:39,928 --> 01:31:41,595 I have never wanted to be a saint. 1527 01:31:41,597 --> 01:31:43,296 I've never been a saint before Steve. 1528 01:31:43,298 --> 01:31:44,698 I'm never going to be a saint. 1529 01:31:44,700 --> 01:31:46,366 I don't want to be, like, a devil 1530 01:31:46,368 --> 01:31:49,836 or a dick face, but I don't want to be a saint, either. 1531 01:31:49,838 --> 01:31:52,005 I just want to be a real person. 1532 01:32:07,990 --> 01:32:10,924 One, two, three, go. 1533 01:32:19,201 --> 01:32:20,433 [GRUNTS] 1534 01:32:20,435 --> 01:32:22,869 [CHATTER] 1535 01:32:25,741 --> 01:32:28,241 This is brutal. 1536 01:32:33,282 --> 01:32:36,249 Just when we spoke to that doctor a couple of weeks ago, 1537 01:32:36,251 --> 01:32:39,886 he's like-- Essentially, you can live as long as you want, 1538 01:32:39,888 --> 01:32:42,689 but there's a reason people choose not to 1539 01:32:42,691 --> 01:32:45,625 because life is so sucky 1540 01:32:45,627 --> 01:32:47,160 that it seems like that they choose, 1541 01:32:47,162 --> 01:32:49,763 like, "Hey, this is a better option," you know? 1542 01:32:49,765 --> 01:32:53,800 Um, so I think that's what I'm really scared of 1543 01:32:53,802 --> 01:32:56,269 is, like, I have a little bit of control over when I die, 1544 01:32:59,074 --> 01:33:01,508 maybe, but may-- That might be false, 1545 01:33:01,510 --> 01:33:04,945 like maybe not. Maybe there's-- 1546 01:33:04,947 --> 01:33:06,780 I don't know how it happens, you know, 1547 01:33:06,782 --> 01:33:11,284 when people with ALS get to the death point, you know. 1548 01:33:11,286 --> 01:33:12,652 Give him a big one. 1549 01:33:12,654 --> 01:33:14,588 Give a big-- Is this a salami sandwich? 1550 01:33:14,590 --> 01:33:15,789 [PLAY MUNCHING] 1551 01:33:15,791 --> 01:33:17,624 I think it's a chicken sandwich. 1552 01:33:17,626 --> 01:33:19,359 [PLAY MUNCHING] 1553 01:33:19,361 --> 01:33:21,728 [COOING] 1554 01:33:27,169 --> 01:33:33,006 I know when we first met when you were able to communicate 1555 01:33:33,008 --> 01:33:38,678 very clearly at that time, early in the process, 1556 01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:41,114 you were very clear that as things moved forward 1557 01:33:41,116 --> 01:33:46,353 you were gonna utilize any available technology 1558 01:33:46,355 --> 01:33:47,654 to stay in the game. 1559 01:33:47,656 --> 01:33:49,723 Comfortably, with the best quality of life 1560 01:33:49,725 --> 01:33:52,559 that you could have. 1561 01:33:52,561 --> 01:33:54,728 That I know has been your goal, 1562 01:33:54,730 --> 01:33:57,030 but I wanted to revisit that with you. 1563 01:33:57,032 --> 01:34:00,934 I have had the opportunity to contemplate my own death 1564 01:34:00,936 --> 01:34:03,737 quite thoroughly the past few years. 1565 01:34:03,739 --> 01:34:05,939 I say it's an opportunity 1566 01:34:05,941 --> 01:34:10,243 because I think understanding one's mortality 1567 01:34:10,245 --> 01:34:14,247 can help open a person to lead a more meaningful life. 1568 01:34:14,249 --> 01:34:18,118 I fight to stay alive for my son, 1569 01:34:18,120 --> 01:34:21,955 for my wife, my friends and family. 1570 01:34:21,957 --> 01:34:24,924 I am not giving up. 1571 01:34:35,904 --> 01:34:39,205 One of the things that I always admired about him, 1572 01:34:39,207 --> 01:34:43,243 it felt that their relationship will continue for a long time, 1573 01:34:43,245 --> 01:34:46,312 is that they could tell each other everything and anything. 1574 01:34:49,518 --> 01:34:51,785 Honest as could be, truthful, 1575 01:34:51,787 --> 01:34:55,088 and that has been lost in the process. 1576 01:34:55,090 --> 01:34:56,890 Oh, my God, I can't believe 1577 01:34:56,892 --> 01:34:58,224 I just hit the wall 1578 01:34:58,226 --> 01:35:00,994 from two nights ago just now. 1579 01:35:00,996 --> 01:35:02,662 Why don't you--? Why don't you go--? 1580 01:35:02,664 --> 01:35:04,931 Just lay down. We'll be quiet. 1581 01:35:04,933 --> 01:35:08,401 I'm working on a masterpiece. 1582 01:35:12,074 --> 01:35:15,508 STEVE: And you are planning a bronchial sweep. 1583 01:35:15,510 --> 01:35:20,547 Yes. I'm going to look down with a flexible scope 1584 01:35:20,549 --> 01:35:23,349 and suck out all that stuff out of your lungs 1585 01:35:23,351 --> 01:35:27,620 so that hopefully that sticky sensation that you're feeling 1586 01:35:27,622 --> 01:35:29,089 will be gone. 1587 01:35:29,091 --> 01:35:30,256 Great. 1588 01:35:30,258 --> 01:35:34,227 Well, I am anxious but feel good with you. 1589 01:35:34,229 --> 01:35:36,296 Thank you. I appreciate it, okay? 1590 01:35:36,298 --> 01:35:38,598 We're going to take good care of you, I promise. 1591 01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:40,633 All right. I'm going to head on down 1592 01:35:40,635 --> 01:35:43,203 and make sure everything's set to go, okay, buddy? 1593 01:35:43,205 --> 01:35:45,038 I'll see you in a little bit, okay? 1594 01:35:45,040 --> 01:35:47,373 I promise you we'll take great care of him. 1595 01:36:21,109 --> 01:36:25,378 Sorry you have to deal with this. 1596 01:36:27,449 --> 01:36:31,284 It's the White Flags, Gleason. Go get 'em. 1597 01:36:33,822 --> 01:36:35,421 If for some reason something happens 1598 01:36:35,423 --> 01:36:39,092 and you can't understand him, come get us, okay? 1599 01:36:39,094 --> 01:36:40,727 We're staying right here, baby. 1600 01:36:40,729 --> 01:36:43,062 I'll keep you guys posted. 1601 01:36:43,064 --> 01:36:46,099 And we'll take good, good care of him. 1602 01:36:54,910 --> 01:36:57,911 It's a hard time because it's all of a sudden 1603 01:36:57,913 --> 01:36:59,979 like I don't want to think about how sad it is. 1604 01:36:59,981 --> 01:37:02,482 I don't want to think about what we're missing out on. 1605 01:37:02,484 --> 01:37:05,251 I don't want to think about myself because it's depressing. 1606 01:37:05,253 --> 01:37:07,987 I don't want to think of these things. 1607 01:37:15,931 --> 01:37:17,831 It's finished. What's that called? 1608 01:37:17,833 --> 01:37:19,199 That's beautiful. 1609 01:37:19,201 --> 01:37:21,434 It's called "Commotion of Colors In Motion"? 1610 01:37:21,436 --> 01:37:22,769 Yes. 1611 01:37:22,771 --> 01:37:25,004 You have to give your-- 1612 01:37:25,006 --> 01:37:27,807 Ooh. Ooh. Okay. 1613 01:37:27,809 --> 01:37:29,409 And that's called "emotoling"-- 1614 01:37:29,411 --> 01:37:31,477 emotion doodling. 1615 01:37:31,479 --> 01:37:33,780 Emotoling. Emotoling? 1616 01:37:33,782 --> 01:37:35,381 Emotoling. 1617 01:37:35,383 --> 01:37:36,583 Emotional doodling. 1618 01:37:36,585 --> 01:37:37,951 Emotionally doodling. Okay. 1619 01:37:37,953 --> 01:37:39,185 I like that. Oh. 1620 01:37:39,187 --> 01:37:42,121 The dilemma is, ahem, 1621 01:37:42,123 --> 01:37:43,523 obviously we want him to live, 1622 01:37:43,525 --> 01:37:45,792 and the longer he lives, the harder it'll get. 1623 01:37:45,794 --> 01:37:49,028 But-- And-- And for her, 1624 01:37:49,030 --> 01:37:51,030 it's realizing that the longer he lives, 1625 01:37:51,032 --> 01:37:52,899 the longer she has to deal with this, 1626 01:37:52,901 --> 01:37:55,101 so it's just-- It's tough. 1627 01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:06,546 RIVERS: What's that? 1628 01:38:06,548 --> 01:38:08,915 That's a-- That's a trach and a vent. 1629 01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:10,783 Because guess-- Remember what Dad has-- 1630 01:38:10,785 --> 01:38:14,888 Daddoos has? ALS. Remember? 1631 01:38:39,981 --> 01:38:44,951 ¶ Happy birthday, dear Rivers ¶ 1632 01:38:44,953 --> 01:38:48,922 ¶ Happy birthday to you ¶ 1633 01:38:48,924 --> 01:38:51,291 Blow 'em out. [APPLAUSE] 1634 01:38:51,293 --> 01:38:53,459 MICHEL: You have to blow harder, Rivers. 1635 01:38:55,497 --> 01:38:57,330 [CHATTER] 1636 01:38:58,667 --> 01:38:59,899 [CHEERING] Last two. 1637 01:38:59,901 --> 01:39:01,100 All right, Rivers. 1638 01:39:01,102 --> 01:39:02,669 It's not a yay yet. 1639 01:39:02,671 --> 01:39:04,103 He's a chicken. 1640 01:39:04,105 --> 01:39:05,305 [LAUGHTER, CHATTER] 1641 01:39:05,307 --> 01:39:07,006 I want you to finish strong. 1642 01:39:07,008 --> 01:39:09,375 All right. [CHEERING] 1643 01:39:09,377 --> 01:39:12,078 [CHATTER] 1644 01:39:28,163 --> 01:39:29,562 RIVERS: I got-- Rivers, 1645 01:39:29,564 --> 01:39:32,665 did you make any new friends today? 1646 01:39:32,667 --> 01:39:36,502 No. I didn't... 1647 01:39:36,504 --> 01:39:39,605 Did you play with Goren today, bro? 1648 01:39:39,607 --> 01:39:41,941 No! He had fever. 1649 01:39:41,943 --> 01:39:43,443 [MICHEL CHUCKLING] 1650 01:39:43,445 --> 01:39:46,813 Can you count to October 19th? 1651 01:39:46,815 --> 01:39:48,915 One, two, One, two, 1652 01:39:48,917 --> 01:39:51,584 three, four-- Three. 1653 01:39:51,586 --> 01:39:56,356 Four, five, six, seven. 1654 01:39:56,358 --> 01:40:01,561 Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 1655 01:40:06,201 --> 01:40:10,436 My second reading of "The Little Pea." 1656 01:40:11,639 --> 01:40:13,806 I'm excited for the day 1657 01:40:13,808 --> 01:40:19,012 when you are teaching me things. 1658 01:40:19,014 --> 01:40:20,713 As a father, my goal is for you to be-- 1659 01:40:23,451 --> 01:40:27,587 To-- To teach you to think for yourself, 1660 01:40:27,589 --> 01:40:31,190 and there's a downfall to that 1661 01:40:31,192 --> 01:40:34,694 that eventually you'll be thinking things 1662 01:40:34,696 --> 01:40:39,165 that are different than things that I think. 1663 01:40:39,167 --> 01:40:41,667 In the weirdest way, that's the goal, 1664 01:40:41,669 --> 01:40:46,139 but then you don't think the things that I think, 1665 01:40:46,141 --> 01:40:51,978 and we have disagreements or debates or, um, 1666 01:40:51,980 --> 01:40:54,113 differing opinions. 1667 01:40:54,115 --> 01:40:59,218 So my point is that I'm saying now to you 1668 01:40:59,220 --> 01:41:02,522 that I am excited for that day, 1669 01:41:02,524 --> 01:41:07,093 even if, when that day comes, I'm frustrated. 1670 01:41:07,095 --> 01:41:09,896 Okay, tough guy, so what kind of questions 1671 01:41:09,898 --> 01:41:12,365 are we going after here? 1672 01:41:12,367 --> 01:41:17,103 Four years ago, we had a similar conservation. 1673 01:41:17,105 --> 01:41:20,907 What has been the most challenging moment for you 1674 01:41:20,909 --> 01:41:23,643 since my diagnosis? 1675 01:41:23,645 --> 01:41:28,081 Uh, having to deal with the day that you die. 1676 01:41:29,150 --> 01:41:33,286 Well, you asked me. 1677 01:41:33,288 --> 01:41:35,421 And I ask myself why-- 1678 01:41:35,423 --> 01:41:38,157 You know, why did it have to happen to Stephen? 1679 01:41:38,159 --> 01:41:39,792 But a simple answer for me is, I mean, 1680 01:41:40,962 --> 01:41:42,395 it's the way you played, Stephen. 1681 01:41:42,397 --> 01:41:44,464 That's why those coaches loved you-- 1682 01:41:44,466 --> 01:41:47,667 Because you were just relentless. 1683 01:41:47,669 --> 01:41:50,736 We've had a couple on-camera moments 1684 01:41:50,738 --> 01:41:53,806 talking about our spiritual beliefs. 1685 01:41:53,808 --> 01:41:56,309 Do you feel at peace about that? 1686 01:41:56,311 --> 01:41:58,177 I was talking to you about some things, 1687 01:41:58,179 --> 01:41:59,812 and you were starting to lose your voice, 1688 01:41:59,814 --> 01:42:02,248 and you says, "Dad, don't worry about my soul. 1689 01:42:02,250 --> 01:42:04,016 My soul is saved." 1690 01:42:04,018 --> 01:42:06,853 And I don't think you could speak that out of your heart 1691 01:42:06,855 --> 01:42:08,087 if you didn't really believe 1692 01:42:08,089 --> 01:42:10,123 that your soul was saved, Stephen. 1693 01:42:10,125 --> 01:42:13,826 So I believe your soul is saved. 1694 01:42:17,298 --> 01:42:19,565 If you could go back, 1695 01:42:19,567 --> 01:42:23,536 what would change about your philosophy of fatherhood? 1696 01:42:26,107 --> 01:42:27,840 Oh, man. Uh, probably being gentler. 1697 01:42:31,679 --> 01:42:37,049 Uh, I'm sure I could have worked a little smarter at things. 1698 01:42:37,051 --> 01:42:40,019 I think you did well. 1699 01:42:40,021 --> 01:42:42,355 Well, thank you. 1700 01:42:43,424 --> 01:42:44,924 I think you've taught Rivers 1701 01:42:44,926 --> 01:42:48,794 more about love and gentleness and kindness at an early age 1702 01:42:48,796 --> 01:42:50,563 than I even knew about. 1703 01:42:52,433 --> 01:42:55,902 But it's pretty cool to watch how you sing to him 1704 01:42:55,904 --> 01:42:58,471 on that, uh, computer 1705 01:42:58,473 --> 01:43:01,107 and get him in your legs and he rolls around with you 1706 01:43:01,109 --> 01:43:03,676 and you say bedtime stories to him, 1707 01:43:03,678 --> 01:43:07,113 and it's pretty awesome, Stephen. 1708 01:43:07,115 --> 01:43:10,383 Rivers feels all of that in his heart. 1709 01:43:15,757 --> 01:43:18,491 Some day he'll walk through that Saints locker room, 1710 01:43:18,493 --> 01:43:20,159 and he'll see your picture 1711 01:43:20,161 --> 01:43:23,529 on that picture Hall of Fame for the Saints, 1712 01:43:23,531 --> 01:43:25,398 and, you know, he'll walk to the stadium 1713 01:43:25,400 --> 01:43:29,235 and see his dad's statue, and, you know. 1714 01:43:31,873 --> 01:43:33,806 I just hope he doesn't feel 1715 01:43:33,808 --> 01:43:37,443 like he has to try to accomplish as much as you. 1716 01:43:38,680 --> 01:43:40,446 All I know is that you wouldn't put 1717 01:43:40,448 --> 01:43:42,548 that kind of pressure on him. 1718 01:43:42,550 --> 01:43:47,320 RIVERS: Go! One, two, three. 1719 01:43:48,556 --> 01:43:50,723 ¶ A year from now ¶ 1720 01:43:50,725 --> 01:43:53,960 ¶ We'll all be gone ¶ 1721 01:43:53,962 --> 01:43:56,128 Hold this. Come on. 1722 01:43:56,130 --> 01:43:58,698 All right, Dad, let's do it. 1723 01:43:58,700 --> 01:44:01,000 ¶ And they're going to bed... ¶ 1724 01:44:01,002 --> 01:44:02,201 [LAUGHTER] 1725 01:44:02,203 --> 01:44:04,070 Go! Say "Go, Daddoos, go." 1726 01:44:04,072 --> 01:44:05,304 Go, Daddoo, go! 1727 01:44:05,306 --> 01:44:07,473 ¶ My friends will be gone ¶ 1728 01:44:07,475 --> 01:44:08,941 I think his main purpose now is, 1729 01:44:10,078 --> 01:44:11,877 you know, being a dad for Rivers, 1730 01:44:11,879 --> 01:44:12,912 the best dad that he can be. 1731 01:44:12,914 --> 01:44:18,184 ¶ Nothing is as it has been ¶ 1732 01:44:18,186 --> 01:44:22,421 ¶ And I miss your face like hell ¶ 1733 01:44:22,423 --> 01:44:26,225 I've lost a little bit of the happiness and light 1734 01:44:26,227 --> 01:44:28,561 that was a big part of my personality, 1735 01:44:28,563 --> 01:44:30,997 and I'm trying to find a place where I can get that back 1736 01:44:30,999 --> 01:44:34,667 because I think it's important because it's a big part of me. 1737 01:44:36,571 --> 01:44:39,138 I think of having a show at some point. 1738 01:44:39,140 --> 01:44:41,107 That's way out of my comfort zone, 1739 01:44:41,109 --> 01:44:43,542 and I'm, uh, I'm not there quite yet. 1740 01:44:43,544 --> 01:44:46,045 Yeah. Being an artist is just, like, 1741 01:44:46,047 --> 01:44:48,581 kind of complicated. 1742 01:44:48,583 --> 01:44:50,783 Luckily, I'm not an artist. 1743 01:44:52,120 --> 01:44:53,853 I think I'm better than last year, 1744 01:44:53,855 --> 01:44:56,422 and so next year might be even better. 1745 01:44:56,424 --> 01:44:59,392 But this is a motherfucker. 1746 01:45:04,265 --> 01:45:05,998 That's that. I'm still pretty funny. 1747 01:45:06,901 --> 01:45:09,468 [VOCALIZING] 1748 01:45:14,676 --> 01:45:16,509 Go! 1749 01:45:20,315 --> 01:45:22,682 Whee! Whoo! 1750 01:45:27,121 --> 01:45:29,955 WOMAN: The Steve Gleason Act is now the law of the land. 1751 01:45:29,957 --> 01:45:32,425 Word came down tonight that President Obama 1752 01:45:32,427 --> 01:45:34,393 signed the bill into law today. 1753 01:45:34,395 --> 01:45:37,096 The Steve Gleason Act will give immediate relief 1754 01:45:37,098 --> 01:45:39,765 for patients who have been denied access 1755 01:45:39,767 --> 01:45:41,400 to speech generating devices, 1756 01:45:41,402 --> 01:45:44,003 and it will ensure that eye tracking technologies 1757 01:45:44,005 --> 01:45:46,505 are covered under Medicare and Medicaid 1758 01:45:46,507 --> 01:45:48,107 for ALS patients. 1759 01:45:48,109 --> 01:45:51,310 ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 1760 01:45:51,312 --> 01:45:53,245 ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 1761 01:45:53,247 --> 01:45:56,449 We've gone from a family member who has ALS 1762 01:45:56,451 --> 01:46:00,519 to now almost a hero-slash-poster person 1763 01:46:00,521 --> 01:46:01,954 who started a movement, 1764 01:46:01,956 --> 01:46:04,757 and the movement is its own entity now, 1765 01:46:04,759 --> 01:46:07,159 and it's strong, so it's taken its own life, 1766 01:46:07,161 --> 01:46:11,130 and I think that's probably as critical as anything. 1767 01:46:11,132 --> 01:46:13,099 ¶ Rivers and roads... ¶ 1768 01:46:13,101 --> 01:46:15,968 STEVE: Fundraisers and all that stuff-- 1769 01:46:15,970 --> 01:46:18,471 Really none of that is as important 1770 01:46:18,473 --> 01:46:21,073 as this right here. 1771 01:46:21,075 --> 01:46:22,708 That's all that matters 1772 01:46:22,710 --> 01:46:24,977 is me passing myself to you. 1773 01:46:24,979 --> 01:46:27,079 Here's a memory from my high school years. 1774 01:46:28,049 --> 01:46:30,316 How to build a campfire. 1775 01:46:30,318 --> 01:46:31,751 Dating. Obstacles. 1776 01:46:31,753 --> 01:46:35,821 Trying to give you everything that I can. 1777 01:46:35,823 --> 01:46:38,657 Even if I'm not present physically, 1778 01:46:38,659 --> 01:46:41,227 you'll have this, 1779 01:46:41,229 --> 01:46:42,762 and I feel so much better 1780 01:46:42,764 --> 01:46:47,299 when I just sit down and share myself with you. 1781 01:46:47,301 --> 01:46:51,404 ¶ Rivers till I reach you ¶ 1782 01:46:51,406 --> 01:46:55,674 Because that's what dads do. 1783 01:46:55,676 --> 01:46:59,345 They pass stuff on, the best of themselves, 1784 01:46:59,347 --> 01:47:01,881 to their kids. 1785 01:47:01,883 --> 01:47:08,387 ¶ Rivers and roads, rivers and roads ¶ 1786 01:47:08,389 --> 01:47:12,925 ¶ Rivers till I reach you ¶ 1787 01:47:13,961 --> 01:47:17,897 ¶ Rivers and roads ¶ 1788 01:47:17,899 --> 01:47:19,799 Out. 1789 01:47:19,801 --> 01:47:24,970 ¶ Rivers till I reach you ¶ 1790 01:47:29,477 --> 01:47:31,410 All right. 1791 01:47:31,412 --> 01:47:33,679 Test, test, test. 1792 01:47:33,681 --> 01:47:35,981 Test. 1793 01:47:35,983 --> 01:47:37,650 Rolling. 1794 01:47:37,652 --> 01:47:40,085 It's right in the middle of the state-- 1795 01:47:41,522 --> 01:47:43,522 That's your mom, dude. 1796 01:47:43,524 --> 01:47:46,492 What the hell. That was awesome. 1797 01:47:46,494 --> 01:47:48,561 She's a piece of work, I tell you what. 1798 01:47:48,563 --> 01:47:50,663 When I feel something strong enough, 1799 01:47:50,665 --> 01:47:53,132 it takes over my head, and I had to just say it. 1800 01:47:53,134 --> 01:47:57,670 I had to say "Steve, I had a dream that I liked you, 1801 01:47:57,672 --> 01:47:59,772 and I think-- I think that I like you." 1802 01:47:59,774 --> 01:48:02,908 ¶ ...for hundreds of miles ¶ 1803 01:48:02,910 --> 01:48:05,411 Boo! 1804 01:48:05,413 --> 01:48:07,913 This is me giving you a hug. 1805 01:48:07,915 --> 01:48:09,582 Just... 1806 01:48:11,686 --> 01:48:14,653 Making these videos is my hug. 1807 01:48:14,655 --> 01:48:18,724 ¶ ...down on his knees ¶ 1808 01:48:26,067 --> 01:48:30,769 ¶ Oh, life came crashing unofficially down... ¶ 1809 01:48:30,771 --> 01:48:35,508 Unfortunately, this is real life. 1810 01:48:35,510 --> 01:48:39,111 It's not a movie, so, 1811 01:48:39,113 --> 01:48:42,348 I'm trying to make it as hunky dory as possible. 1812 01:48:42,350 --> 01:48:46,151 But I think sometimes real life gets in the way. 1813 01:48:46,153 --> 01:48:49,255 [VOCALIZING] 1814 01:49:13,447 --> 01:49:15,748 [SCREAMING] 1815 01:49:16,717 --> 01:49:18,717 My thoughts for you 1816 01:49:18,719 --> 01:49:22,855 and tattoos' remembrance is this. 1817 01:49:22,857 --> 01:49:25,858 Do not get it of your girlfriend's name. 1818 01:49:25,860 --> 01:49:27,993 Or your wife, for that matter. 1819 01:49:27,995 --> 01:49:30,429 Hey. 1820 01:49:30,431 --> 01:49:32,565 Or your wife. But your mom's, 1821 01:49:32,567 --> 01:49:35,167 you can get one of your mom's if you want to. 1822 01:49:38,940 --> 01:49:40,940 And I do believe that in five years 1823 01:49:40,942 --> 01:49:44,944 I'll look back on this video and say "Wow, 1824 01:49:44,946 --> 01:49:48,280 "that was the beginning of, you know, this journey 1825 01:49:48,282 --> 01:49:51,951 that has turned out so much for the better in my life." 1826 01:49:54,855 --> 01:49:57,056 ¶ And he still gives his love ¶ 1827 01:49:57,058 --> 01:49:59,491 ¶ He just gives it away ¶ 1828 01:49:59,493 --> 01:50:01,961 ¶ The love he receives ¶ 1829 01:50:01,963 --> 01:50:08,133 ¶ Is the love that is saved ¶ 1830 01:50:08,135 --> 01:50:09,735 I just want to say 1831 01:50:09,737 --> 01:50:11,870 I feel like I'm exploding on the inside. 1832 01:50:11,872 --> 01:50:14,540 I love you so much, man, 1833 01:50:14,542 --> 01:50:18,677 and, um, that's a great thing, 1834 01:50:18,679 --> 01:50:20,813 and I hope, uh, 1835 01:50:20,815 --> 01:50:22,314 you love me as much as I love you, 1836 01:50:23,584 --> 01:50:24,917 but it's impossible. 1837 01:50:24,919 --> 01:50:26,518 I think even better is I hope 1838 01:50:26,520 --> 01:50:28,854 you love your children 1839 01:50:28,856 --> 01:50:33,025 as much as I love you.