0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,800 Welcome to Camp Blue Finch, 2 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,007 where romance in the sun can turn deadly! 3 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,801 Best summer ever! 4 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,260 This is the summer that's going to change your life. 5 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,500 Where the days are warm... 6 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:06,083 - Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice. - Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair. 7 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,340 ...the girls are cool... 8 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,060 Did I miss the Kumbaya circle? 9 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,527 ...the nights are always hot. 10 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,088 And evil lurks around every corner. 11 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,686 Gosh, you startled me. 12 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,580 So, I just go down that path all the way? 13 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,331 A guy like you can go anywhere he wants. 14 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,160 And any moment, Billy can strike. 15 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,844 They won't be singing Kumbaya. 16 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,361 They'll be screaming Kum Ba No! 17 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,940 Pack your bags for Camp Bloodbath... 18 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,380 You just messed with the wrong virgin. 19 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:54,008 ...where the only marshmallow that will roast is your sanity. 20 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,928 Well, they'll let me know. 21 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,860 You know you're too good for this crap, right? 22 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,620 The casting director was all like, "I know you from somewhere." 23 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,740 And I went, "Really? It's probably my arc on CSI as a bipolar mistress." 24 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,764 And he's like, "No, I got it. Camp Bloodbath." 25 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,810 Am I ever going to live that movie down? I mean, it was 20 years ago. 26 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,685 Honestly, if you ever become an actor, don't ever do a slasher flick. 27 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,740 You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie. You're the actress here. 28 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,767 Damn straight. And I'm no actress. I'm a movie star. 29 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:18,841 Mel's? 30 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:21,841 Mel's. 31 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,451 Let's rock and roll. 32 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,860 So, we owe the electric company $174.88 by next Monday... 33 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,780 You remember Frank? 34 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,580 He told me he was going to take me to Palm Springs this weekend. 35 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,047 - No message. No text. - No surprise. 36 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,620 You know, it's just he said we were exclusive. 37 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,688 Well, he said it, he doesn't act like it. 38 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,806 Whatever. What do I know? 39 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,060 You must think I'm a total zero. 40 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,289 Screw him, Mom. And screw his shady hotel in Palm Springs. 41 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,006 Oh, my God. Look at you taking care of me. 42 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,820 What happened to that little girl I used to dance with in the backyard? 43 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:09,164 She grew up and is trying to figure out where this $174 is gonna come from. 44 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,682 What are you doing? Are you crazy? 45 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,927 Our song! 46 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,604 Mom. We need to figure this out. 47 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,285 Her hair is Harlowe gold 48 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,644 Her lips sweet surprise 49 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,020 Her hands are never cold 50 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,610 You're such a dork. 51 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,900 She's got Bette Davis eyes 52 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,082 Everything in my life, I got wrong. 53 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,689 But you, I got you right. 54 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,727 I love you. You know that, right? 55 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,045 She's pure as New York snow 56 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,420 She's got Bette Davis eyes 57 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,567 What? 58 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,041 Nothing. 59 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,081 Nothing. 60 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,649 She'll unease you 61 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,447 All the better just to please you 62 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,660 She's precocious and she knows just 63 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,084 What it takes to make a pro blush 64 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,380 She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs 65 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,405 She's got Bette Davis eyes 66 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,644 Max, those are really expensive... 67 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,404 Gertie's here. 68 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,809 Coming, Aunt Pearl. 69 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,420 So, when Chris asked you to study, was he like, 70 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,020 "I want you to come study"? 71 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,806 Or was he like, "I want you to come. 72 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,620 "Study." 73 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,020 Please. I'm only going, so I don't flunk Classics. 74 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,100 Come on, you know that he broke up with Vicki last week, right? 75 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,980 And she is a mess. 76 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:08,420 Have you seen the veiled suicide note/poem she posted on her Facebook page? 77 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,900 It's so hilarious. 78 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,924 I read it out loud to myself. A lot. 79 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,300 Hey, just keep on keeping on. 80 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,768 - What does that even mean? - Something my therapist tells me all the time. 81 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,083 You have a therapist? 82 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,420 Does that help you deal? 83 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,889 No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so... 84 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,900 Okay. So, the myth of Persephone. Max, you want to take this one? 85 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,740 Sure. 86 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,660 She's the daughter of Zeus and she eats pomegranate seeds, 87 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,820 and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld. 88 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:48,980 Yeah. Okay, good. 89 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,620 So, they go back to the underworld and Persephone is freaking out, 90 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:52,980 and Hermes is like, "It's okay, it's okay. 91 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,860 "Just keep looking forward, or we'll be stuck here forever." 92 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,860 Max, do you want to jot any of this down or... 93 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,620 No, it's okay, Max. I've already got a copy. 94 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,964 You can copy from me later or I can give it to you if you want. 95 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,730 I'm gonna stop talking. 96 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,740 - Shit. - Max, hey, wait. 97 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,860 - Did you not get my messages? - Duncan. No. 98 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,327 Please, come on. Please. 99 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,363 Seriously, no. 100 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,660 The Bath-maticians were so excited when I told them 101 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,127 that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend. 102 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,648 - Step-sister. - Why would you say that? That's so hurtful. 103 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,380 Please, Max, I promised that you'd be there. 104 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:34,121 I am the assistant general manager of the varsity. Think of my reputation. 105 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,765 Wait. What are "Bath-maticians"? 106 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,140 Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname. 107 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,620 Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool 108 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,100 - when you give it to yourself? - You know what, Gertie? 109 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,568 When my dad told me that I was going to get a sister, I cried 110 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,250 because that's all I'd ever wanted. 111 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,806 But not like this. Not like this. 112 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,961 Don't. 113 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,441 Look, Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy 114 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,260 of all campsite slasher films, okay. 115 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,020 Amazing production design, insane music, over-the-top acting. 116 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,500 It's a cult classic. 117 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,980 Max's mom plays Nancy, this sort of shy girl-next-door 118 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,940 who gives up her butterfly to some dumb jock, 119 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,965 and Billy Murphy comes along and chops her ass up on a waterbed. 120 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,685 Sorry, Duncan. Tell your cult, maybe I'll see them next year. 121 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,980 I'll do all your Classics assignments for the rest of the year. 122 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,260 Papers, your homework, all of it. 123 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,011 Gertie told me that you were failing. 124 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,084 Please, Max, what do you say? You wanna graduate, or not? 125 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,281 Max! 126 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,526 - Gertie! - You scared me. 127 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,164 Well, this will be fun. 128 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,220 Being trapped in a movie theater with a bunch of nerds. 129 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,560 Yeah, sure. 130 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:03,420 You know what was fun, though? Watching Chris today, ogle over you. 131 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,921 - Shut up. - What? That's a word, right? Ogle? 132 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,260 He likes you so much, it's so cute. 133 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,420 Gertie. Get real. He's like a giant, okay? So, imagine us together. 134 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,170 - I'd need stilts to kiss him. - Hey! 135 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,361 - Hey! - Hi. 136 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,567 - What are you doing here? - I figured you needed some moral support. 137 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,340 Why, should I go? Because I can if this is weird... 138 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,220 No, don't be crazy, Christopher. We're so happy you're here. 139 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,561 I'm going to go popcorn up, see you inside. 140 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,484 Wow. Your mom was gorgeous. 141 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,085 I'm sorry. That's a weird thing to say, isn't it? 142 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,046 Kind of. 143 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,488 It's kind of cool we get to honor her memory this way, right? 144 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,567 Today's the anniversary of her death. 145 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,726 I don't know what to say. 146 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,960 Me neither. 147 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,291 At least, I get to see her, 148 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,441 even if she is being chased by a psycho with a machete. 149 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,165 - Stop, stop, stop. - Great. 150 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,580 Hey! What a coincidence! 151 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,260 This is Tyson. We've been hanging out and he's so funny. 152 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,060 My abs are like shredded from laughing so hard. 153 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,460 Anyway, Tyson wanted to come here tonight 154 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:32,020 and I was like, "Oh, my God, no." But here we are. 155 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,180 So, you win, Tyson. 156 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,726 So, you didn't see my post about it, or anything? 157 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,540 No, I don't go on your stupid Twitter, 158 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,802 which, by the way, has lost three more followers today. 159 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,283 Anyway, see you guys inside, okay? Go. 160 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,300 I'm so wiped from all these applications. 161 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,402 Even my safety schools, Stanford and Cornell, 162 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,380 I'm not gonna just half-ass them. It's just not my style. 163 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,211 I am lucky that I even made it out tonight at all. 164 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,845 Thank you, Adderall. 165 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:01,980 Where'd Terry go? 166 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,900 - Terry? Tyson? - Tyson. 167 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,447 Yeah, he just got like super-sick super-fast. 168 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,881 No, not the super-sick super-fast. 169 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:16,882 Max, are they doing this because it's, you know, the anniversary? 170 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,060 Yeah, I'm here for an appearance. I didn't think you'd... 171 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,300 Come on, Max. Of course, I would remember. 172 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,483 I have really good memory. It's not just the Adderall. 173 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,260 Hey, do you want anything? 174 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,980 I'm gonna go get a popcorn and then we can dump M&M'S into it. 175 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,924 That way, every handful is, like, kind of suspenseful? 176 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,820 Sure. 177 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,740 Hey, Chris, I'm just gonna have a Diet Coke and a child-size popcorn, 178 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,260 but make sure to dump half of it into the garbage. You remember, right? 179 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,580 You know what, I'm just going to come with you. 180 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,446 She is the worst. She's like a living nightmare. 181 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,100 I can't believe you used to be friends with her. 182 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,420 Look, she's probably gonna pee on him 183 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,700 - just to mark her territory. - Gertie! 184 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,847 Max! 185 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,122 - Hey, hey, you came. - Oh, God. 186 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,965 All hail, Max! 187 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,940 Sorry, I don't know why I worshipped you then, 188 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,140 I'm just excited to see you. 189 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,820 You're also really weird. You're very strange and weird. 190 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,300 I can put you down for the Q&A, right? 191 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,340 - After the show, do a little Q. - No. 192 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,060 And a little... 193 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,367 I'll put you down as a maybe. Okay, glad you're here. 194 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,801 Hey, guys, we're here! 195 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,002 Someone wake up Sleeping Beauty back there. 196 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,444 Are we there yet? 197 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,361 You okay? 198 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,801 Yeah. 199 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,448 It all happened so long ago. 200 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,131 Little Billy Murphy went to camp here decades ago. 201 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,928 And he was always picked on for being different, ugly. 202 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,528 And then one summer, the hottest one on record, 203 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,246 the counselors decided to play a little prank on him. 204 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,820 No one really knows how Billy was before it happened. 205 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,925 The counselors hated him, and the other kids bullied him mercilessly. 206 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,328 Stop! Go away! 207 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,521 - Billy, open up. - I know how to get him out. 208 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:24,049 Soak this moment in, babe, because you're always gonna remember me. 209 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:28,020 - What does that tattoo mean? - It was given to me in juvie. 210 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,841 I was caught stealing cherries. I'm a cherry thief. 211 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,481 Neat. 212 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,725 Nice legs. 213 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,886 What time they open? 214 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,041 Kurt? 215 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,361 Kurt? 216 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,242 I'm going to get some air. 217 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,525 The exits are blocked! 218 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,927 - Duncan, is there an exit behind the screen? - Yes. Yes. 219 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,766 - Come on! - Go, go, go. 220 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,041 Go, go, go. 221 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,764 - Max! - Oh, God! What happened? 222 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,282 - Where the hell are we? - I don't know. Did the theater burn down? 223 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,524 That was the scariest thing I have ever seen. 224 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,620 You're alive! Thank God! 225 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,860 What does poison ivy look like? Because I think I got... 226 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,961 Help me. 227 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,001 Guys, somebody's coming. 228 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,971 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 229 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,208 - Tina! - Yeah? 230 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,964 Oh, my God. I'm having a psychotic episode. 231 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:45,450 - We all saw the same thing, right? - Maybe it's a dream. A collective dream. 232 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,700 If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance 233 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,900 that my dad's going to come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. 234 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,322 But don't take any. It is not pecan pie. 235 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,140 Maybe we're dead and this is heaven. 236 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,820 This can't be heaven. Max is here and she's Jewish. 237 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,446 Right. Well, maybe it's Jewish heaven. 238 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,241 Look! 239 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,580 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 240 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,843 Yeah. Just keep going the way you're going. 241 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,846 Wow, okay. Thanks so much. 242 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,008 We're not dead. We're insane! 243 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,485 No, we're not. And I don't think we're in the Valley anymore. 244 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,740 - Is anybody getting any bars? - No. 245 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,925 Eight, seven, six, five... 246 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,740 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 247 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,100 Yeah, actually we're counselors, 248 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,940 and we can show you if you'd just give us a ride. 249 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,860 - Rad! Yeah, hop in. - Tubular! 250 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,201 Dude, what are you doing? 251 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,405 Do we have a choice? We're kind of stuck. Let's go. 252 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,726 Max. 253 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,967 Come on, guys. 254 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,651 You guys coming? 255 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,460 I can't believe you guys are counselors, too. We've never had this many before. 256 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,860 When the kids get here next week, they're gonna be so pumped. 257 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,580 Hey, where are you guys' suitcases? 258 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,100 Because, honestly, your clothes, they're disgusting. 259 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,740 Says the guy in the crop top. 260 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,580 What's up? Are you guys poor people? Are you guys poor? 261 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,700 We packed light. Yeah. What did you pack, Tina? 262 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,168 The basics, bikini, mouthwash, diaphragm. 263 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:11,522 Hell, yeah, you did. 'Cause they're gonna get so naked. 264 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,721 How did you know? 265 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,180 Spring break, forever. 266 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,921 Hey, guys, we're here! 267 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,446 Someone wake up Sleeping Beauty back there. 268 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,765 Are we there yet? 269 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,960 Hi! 270 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,049 I'm Nancy. What's your name? 271 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,491 Max. 272 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:59,689 First time away from home? It's okay. It's hard to be away from your parents, huh? 273 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,769 Best summer ever! 274 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,001 Yes. 275 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,969 Well, kiddo, this is the summer that's going to change your life. 276 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,521 No kidding. 277 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,325 - Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice. - Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair. 278 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,964 Okay. So, we're in the movie. 279 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,700 - How do we get outta here? - Yeah, I like that question. 280 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,900 That's a really, really good question. 281 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,660 Duncan, can you answer that question, please? 282 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,860 What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet. 283 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,980 They're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. 284 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,740 We don't exist yet. 285 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,526 I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child. 286 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,660 Anyone wanna help me pick some strawberries? 287 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,207 No, but I'll give you a hand with those melons. 288 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,220 Talking about her boobs! You guys get me, right? 289 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,004 Yeah, we do, brother. 290 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,780 Kurt is insatiable. 291 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,010 Okay, so Mimi's in the woods, that means everything is right on schedule. 292 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,220 - She hooks up with that hiker. - But then she gets killed, right? 293 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,820 Yeah, exactly. Everyone who has sex in this movie dies. 294 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,921 It's awesome. 295 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,500 I got into bodybuilding big time. 296 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,524 - Yeah. Oh, my God, can I touch it? - Yeah, touch it. 297 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,211 The backside's just as hard. Touch the backside. 298 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,122 That's right. Everyone. 299 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,780 I'm with Gertie on this one. 300 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,180 Let's just take their van and bail. What do we have to lose? 301 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,770 Yeah, did I say that? I did? Okay. 302 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,045 We actually probably shouldn't talk to them. 303 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,940 - What's up, funbags? - Funbags. Right. Yay, feminism. 304 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,250 Listen, we need to borrow your van for a little while. Is that okay? Yeah? 305 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,410 I don't know. What's in it for me? 306 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,487 How about my friends don't kick your ass? 307 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,140 This guy's your friend? Yeah, right. You want to go? 308 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,500 - No, no. God, no. - Bicep, smash. 309 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,740 And that would kill you. That's a karate technique. 310 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,940 No, I don't. I've never actually fought anyone before in my life. 311 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,849 Yeah, well, I have. So many times. 312 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,046 Seven times. 313 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,611 Hey, this is so weird. Do me a favor and just zing me. Just get me. 314 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,691 Fine. How about you go suck a turd? 315 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,290 The writing is so bad. 316 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:54,324 Okay, tell you what. You find the keys and the van's yours. 317 00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,401 Really? 318 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,700 - I'm glad that you die. - What? 319 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,771 Nothing! What she meant to say was, that we all die eventually. 320 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,620 Technically, we start dying the moment we're born. 321 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,767 Yeah, right. 322 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,089 - Yes, but not to overwhelm you... - Okay. 323 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,660 I liked you when you were laughing at my jokes. 324 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,100 Now, I just think you're weird. 325 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,680 Okay, let's just go get the... Sorry. Let's go get the keys. 326 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,648 Hey, you wanna give me a hand? 327 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:40,961 Sure. 328 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:45,365 - All right. Let's rock and roll. - Oh, my God. It really is you. 329 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,811 - What? - Nothing. 330 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,002 All right! Push-up time! 331 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,521 So... 332 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,051 Kurt told me he wants to do it later. 333 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,780 - Wow. Just like that? - I know! 334 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,380 And it's like, I can't stay a virgin forever, you know? 335 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,140 And he's been with a lot of girls, so he can probably, like, 336 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,288 I don't know, help me along. 337 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,128 - You shouldn't have sex! - Why? 338 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,540 Because I heard that sex can kill you. 339 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,220 Max. Sex isn't anything to be afraid of. 340 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,324 I mean, Tina's already done it twice today, and look at her, she's totally normal. 341 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,527 She says the best feeling in the world is getting stoned and doing it on a waterbed. 342 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,620 Don't hang around Tina. 343 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,380 No, but I told myself that I was going to lose my virginity this summer. 344 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,927 - Get drunk! Not necessarily in that order. - Please, just trust me. 345 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,291 You sound like my mom. 346 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,740 Right back at you. 347 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,811 Hello, hi. We have to go get everyone. Let's go. 348 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,729 We will pick this up again. Is that understood? 349 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,003 In the meantime, just stay away from Kurt and keep your shorts on. 350 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,201 Okay. 351 00:26:58,760 --> 00:26:59,921 What are you doing? 352 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,130 Dibs on the one that looks like Ricky Schroder. 353 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,925 Their hair's so flat. It's making me sad. 354 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,722 That girl with the freckles is sort of cute. 355 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,844 You know, none of them are on the counselors' roster. 356 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,126 Where did they come from? 357 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,685 - We are never gonna find these keys. - Not with that attitude, we're not. 358 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,925 Though, you are correct. 359 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,208 - Let's go back. Now. - It's happening. 360 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,380 - We have to warn her. - No. No. 361 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,620 Just think of them as animals on a nature preserve, okay? 362 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,167 Our duty is not to disrupt, but to observe. 363 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,243 Gosh, you startled me. 364 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,300 Sorry, I'm looking for town. 365 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:03,406 - So, I just go down that path all the way? - A guy like you can go anywhere he wants. 366 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,060 I can't believe we're just gonna casually watch someone get murdered. 367 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,446 What is this, Detroit? 368 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,540 - What is that noise? - It's Billy. He's coming. 369 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,611 - Let's get out of here then. - No, no. Stay, stay. 370 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,805 - Did you hear something? - Baby, I didn't hear a thing. 371 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,124 Give me a second. Go over there. Get ready. 372 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,165 Okay! Where's the beef? 373 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,930 Come on, man! I said, where's the... 374 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,500 Run! 375 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,011 Go, go, go, go! 376 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,820 - Guys, guys, wait, wait, wait. - Duncan! 377 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,820 - What are you doing? - Duncan. 378 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,526 It's okay. He won't hurt us. 379 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,365 He would've killed me by now, okay? 380 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,500 I think it's because we're not actually part of the movie, 381 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,500 he doesn't really know what to do with us. 382 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,284 Isn't that right, Billy Boy? 383 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,047 Man, you are big and scary. 384 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,460 I wonder if all this blood is just corn syrup, you know? 385 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,820 Like these characters are walking around 386 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,843 with just corn syrup in their veins, you know? 387 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,370 Let's give it a shot here. 388 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,060 God. No, that is not corn syrup. 389 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,481 That is... Oh, God, that's blood. 390 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,660 All the more reason for us to get the hell outta here. 391 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,740 No, no. Look, everything in this world is running exactly on schedule. 392 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,251 Besides, to leave, 393 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,220 we probably have to wait until the movie's over, or something. 394 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,820 Well, when is that going to happen? 395 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,580 Okay, look, movies like this end when the final girl kills the main bad guy 396 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,180 and the credits roll. It's actually pretty sick in this one. 397 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,620 She kicks up the sword and she kills him with his own machete 398 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,740 and she's like... And Billy's like... It goes right through his hands. 399 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:25,841 Like... 400 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,180 Head splits open. Punches it. 401 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,964 - Brain goes out... - Duncan! 402 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,660 Anyway, this smoking hot girl called Paula, 403 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,001 she arrives in the next reel, she's the final girl. 404 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,260 Yeah, she is the only one in this movie who doesn't die. 405 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,260 All we've got to do is stick with her 406 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,700 and we're going to have the best seats in the house. 407 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,580 Trust me, this last battle will blow your minds. 408 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,523 - Okay, selfie time. - Duncan! 409 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,330 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 410 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,220 I think I almost just pissed my pants. 411 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,766 - You did piss your pants. - What? No, I didn't. 412 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,002 Let's get out of here! 413 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,846 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 414 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,724 You came back! Yay! 415 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:06,921 This way! 416 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,691 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 417 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,768 You came back! Yay! 418 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,005 What is happening? 419 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,020 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 420 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,043 You came back! Yay! 421 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,682 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 422 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,567 I don't think Billy's the only problem. 423 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,529 It's the movie. The movie won't let us leave. 424 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,540 Michael, row your boat ashore 425 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,644 Hallelujah 426 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,044 Michael, row your boat ashore 427 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,484 Hallelujah 428 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,003 Sister, help to trim the sails 429 00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,284 Hallelujah 430 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,780 Sister, help to trim the sails 431 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,009 Hallelujah 432 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,404 Jordan's river is deep and wide 433 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,804 Hallelujah 434 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,164 Got a home on the other side 435 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,444 Hallelujah 436 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,404 Come on, everyone. Sing along! 437 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,060 Duncan is dead. We have to warn them. 438 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,740 Please. They're morons. 439 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,620 I wanna know where they keep the hardware in this dump. 440 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,166 I want chainsaws and I want big-ass knives, and I want them now. 441 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,927 What am I gonna tell our parents? 442 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,886 I don't want to die here, guys. 443 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,089 Me neither. There's got to be a way to get home. 444 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,009 Did I miss the Kumbaya circle? 445 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,260 Paula, you're just in time to start setting up for the slumber party. 446 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,682 Yeah, we took a vote and you get to share my sleeping bag. 447 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,807 Thanks, Kurt. But I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't have a needle dick. 448 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,260 Yeah right, it's like a hammer dick, if anything. 449 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,407 It's a sledgehammer. 450 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,007 Who are they? 451 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,820 They're the new counselors. They're super nice. 452 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:25,164 - We don't have new counselors. - Well, now we do. 453 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,602 All right, guys, let's split up into groups and get busy. 454 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,900 That's her. That's Paula. 455 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,180 She's the final girl, right? She's the one that kills Billy. 456 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,060 We just have to stay with her till the end of the movie. 457 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,220 I'm sticking to that bitch like white on rice. 458 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,860 Okay. Now, we just have to keep Billy away from us. 459 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,060 It's just like Duncan said. The moment a top comes off, Billy shows up. 460 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,980 Vicki, stick with Paula and Tina. Gertie, you take Blake. Chris, take Kurt. 461 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,060 - No, I want Chris to stick with me. - No, we have to cover everyone. 462 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,580 - I'll stick with my mom. - You know that's not your mom, right? 463 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,700 - Vicki! - Don't defend her. 464 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,962 This delusional shit is gonna get us all killed. 465 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,244 Look at the pair on her! I would just motorboat those for hours. 466 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,160 Yeah, but look at those articles, I could read those all night long. 467 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:26,860 What are you, a fag? You don't like some nice big hoots? 468 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,121 Hooting! 469 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,927 My dads are gay. So, shut the hell up. 470 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,420 Yeah, right! Gay guys can't have kids. 471 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,820 They're too busy going to discos and having sex with each other. 472 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,002 It's actually a pretty cool lifestyle. 473 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,700 - Hi. - Hey. 474 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,451 - I really like your pin. - Thank you. 475 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,500 - Where'd you get yours? - My friends gave them to me. 476 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,220 Where'd you get yours? 477 00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:02,123 I made it, actually, at this prison pen-pal convention thing. 478 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,246 That's awesome! 479 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:06,281 Yeah. 480 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:13,011 Hey, what's up with this cassette? There are no holes in it. 481 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,000 Give me that. 482 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,608 - What are these? - No, no. Bad! 483 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,646 Not for you. Very bad! 484 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,202 It's too bad all the girls are so busted. 485 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,803 The only way you or I are going to get any is with angel eyes over there. 486 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,126 What? Are you nuts? 487 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:43,689 No, no, no. These girls are slamming, my man. 488 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,646 And I am going to do all of them. 489 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,288 Yum! By the way, what's with you and Max? Are you guys... 490 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,380 Are you guys having sex? 491 00:36:56,480 --> 00:37:00,644 Because if not, I wouldn't mind bench pressing her with my dumbbell. 492 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,540 Listen, brah, you're not bench pressing anyone with your dumbbell. 493 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,140 If I so much hear your dumbbell took a Pilates class... 494 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,368 - What? - ...I'm gonna cut it off. 495 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,980 I swiped a whole case of this stuff from my uncle before coming. 496 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,980 I'm gonna need it if I'm stuck here for the summer 497 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,940 instead of souping up this bitching firebird I found in... 498 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,168 Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Where do they keep the chainsaws here? 499 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,500 What? 500 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,980 We might want to find out, right? Where they keep them? 501 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,482 Because you never know when you might need a chainsaw. 502 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,361 Why do we need a chainsaw for a slumber party? 503 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:37,244 I know what's going to go down at this camp, and it's not pretty. 504 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,401 So, where's that other guy you came with? 505 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,802 My brother. Yeah, he's... 506 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:53,291 He's napping somewhere. 507 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:59,121 Okay, let's go. You want to go? Yeah, let's. You got all the wood you need. 508 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:17,920 Mom, no! 509 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,300 - Get dressed. Now. - Oh, my God, Max! 510 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:28,940 What are you doing here? Get out! 511 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,580 Nancy, if you go through with this, you're going to get hurt. 512 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,126 Kurt said he liked me, okay. He said it. 513 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,371 Yeah, they always say it, they just don't act like it. 514 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,122 God. You must think I'm a total zero. 515 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:55,121 I just wanted to feel grown-up, special. 516 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,082 You are special. 517 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,900 I'm the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 518 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,286 Special to who? 519 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:06,731 Special to me. 520 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,850 Who are you, Max? 521 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:20,243 Soak this moment in, babe, because you're always gonna remember me. 522 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,361 Shit. 523 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:27,402 Two for the price of one. You babes just couldn't wait, could you? 524 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,045 - We're leaving. - Too late. 525 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,922 Genie's already out of the bottle. Make a wish. 526 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,844 - Where's Max? - I don't know. Do you hear that? 527 00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,208 What'd I say? Leave her alone! 528 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,122 Lock the windows! Shut the curtains! He can see us! 529 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,980 Who is he? 530 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,924 Max. You have to tell them about Billy. 531 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,322 Oh, God. He's here. 532 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:21,924 Not Billy Murphy? I mean, he's just a legend. 533 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,525 I love legends. 534 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,124 Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Bon Jovi. All of them. 535 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,323 It all happened so long ago. 536 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,406 Little Billy Murphy went to camp here decades ago. 537 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,780 And he was always picked on for being... 538 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:53,860 Guys? 539 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,008 ...different, ugly. 540 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,380 - And then one summer... - This is bad. 541 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,300 ...the hottest one on record, 542 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,370 the counselors decided to play a little prank on him. 543 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,211 What's happening? 544 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,500 This is... What, are we home? 545 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,444 God, why am I colorblind? Am I having a stroke? 546 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,166 I think we're in a flashback. 547 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,300 It started as just another ordinary day. 548 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,100 - But little did they know... - What the hell is that voice? 549 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,565 ...something was about to go horribly wrong. 550 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,460 No one really knows how Billy was before it happened. 551 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,860 The counselors hated him, and the other kids bullied him mercilessly. 552 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,770 - Stop! - Where'd you get these clothes? 553 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,327 - Guys, that's Billy. - Come on, Billy. 554 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,420 Hey, what are you little idiots doing? 555 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,420 Billy's in there, and he's been in there forever. 556 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,300 Billy locked himself in the outhouse, thinking he'd be safe, but he was wrong. 557 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,131 Billy. Billy, open up. 558 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,683 I know how to get him out. 559 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:41,645 Billy had third-degree burns all over his body because of the counselors' prank. 560 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,580 And the only thing that could distract Billy from his terrible pain, 561 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,620 was thinking about what had been done to him. 562 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,180 And during those long, agonizing nights in the burn ward, 563 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,170 Billy's fear was slowly replaced by something else. 564 00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:57,967 Hatred. 565 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,167 His face would never be the same. 566 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:05,020 And so, he made a mask to hide his scars on the outside, 567 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,202 but his anger grew on the inside. 568 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,740 All Billy wanted was to make everyone as afraid 569 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,525 as he was on that terrible day. 570 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,449 He started his reign of terror by returning to exact his revenge. 571 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,380 He killed eight counselors that night. 572 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,300 One for every month he spent in that hospital bed. 573 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,020 And legend has it Billy still lives in these woods in his own little shack, 574 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:46,889 waiting for new counselors to cross his path, waiting to get revenge again and again. 575 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,220 The car! The car! 576 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,527 Guys, you can't leave! Literally! 577 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,020 Get up! Get up! Stop! Don't come any closer. 578 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,282 Okay, just listen. We can explain. 579 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,300 You can't leave. None of us can. 580 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,562 - Not until he's dead. - Until who's dead? 581 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,005 - Billy Murphy. - What? 582 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:31,131 Drive! Drive! 583 00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,820 - Look, I'm just trying to save you. - Why? Why are you trying to save me? 584 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,410 Well, because you're my... 585 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,166 My first friend here. 586 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,860 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 587 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,530 Help me. I'm not dead! 588 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,648 Duncan! You're alive! 589 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,340 No, you killed Duncan! 590 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,460 Let's just go to a hotel and just relax for the night 591 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,688 and maybe we can get into something. 592 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,721 Oh, my God, Kurt! Oh, my God! 593 00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,929 - Paula! She's alive! - Paula, don't move! 594 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,006 Shit! 595 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,700 I can't believe they're all dead. 596 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,380 They were never alive. 597 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,540 They weren't real. Neither are you. 598 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,940 Because this is just a movie, 599 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,860 and Paula was the only one that could kill Billy. 600 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,371 We're screwed. 601 00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:53,246 What does she mean, "just a movie"? 602 00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,924 So, we're in a movie? 603 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:07,180 But this is a horror movie, and Billy Murphy's really after all of us. 604 00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,900 Why do I have to wear all this stuff again? 605 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,004 Because you're scripted to do a striptease at the slumber party, 606 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,521 and when you take your top off, Billy comes running. 607 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,980 But why does he hate my boobs? Because they're not big? 608 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:24,086 - So, wait, is new wave real? - Yeah. Yeah, of course. 609 00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:26,447 But I'm not real. 610 00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:31,921 You're only real in the movie. So, yeah, you're real here. 611 00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:34,686 Cool. 612 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,620 - Guys, we just wanna get home. - But, okay... 613 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,580 But you said Paula was the only one who could kill him. 614 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,921 And she just died. 615 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,482 Exactly. Which is why we need to nominate a new final girl. 616 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:49,771 And I'm willing to be it. 617 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,526 - What? - Well, you're not a virgin. 618 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,564 I am, too, a virgin! 619 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,448 I technically am that... Whatever, what does it matter? 620 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,642 Because it just does, Vicki. 621 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:09,420 You have to be a virgin in this movie in order to kill Billy, okay? 622 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,923 And the only true-blue virgin here is Max. 623 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,566 I'm not the only virgin. 624 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,445 - Gertie, you're a virgin. - No. Not anymore. 625 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,005 Last summer, with that guy Gerry. 626 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:27,166 He had the like weird mustache and he winked, remember? 627 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:28,441 Isn't he autistic? 628 00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,605 Yeah. Yeah, he is. But he's also very romantic. 629 00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:36,451 Damn, superfreak. I like! 630 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,004 - Okay, let's make a plan. - Yeah. 631 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,540 - We need to get Billy's machete. - The one he's holding? 632 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,324 Yeah. Duncan said that's the only way to kill him. 633 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:45,527 Everything else just slows him down. 634 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,330 So, we're supposed to just pry it from his hands? 635 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,450 Well, we don't really have any other options. Okay? 636 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,740 Look, we just have to get his machete into Max's hands 637 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,128 so she can chop his head off, end the movie, and we can all go home. 638 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,486 No. No way! I can't do this. 639 00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,540 See? She's even saying that she can't do it. 640 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,246 Vicki! Enough! Jesus! Can you just shut up for a second? 641 00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,124 God! I can't believe I put up with you for so long. 642 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,763 - Max, you got this. - No. 643 00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,720 Max. You can do this. 644 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,820 If it wasn't for you, we'd all be dead burning in the theater right now. 645 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,285 Yeah, and look where I got us. 646 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,980 I can do it. I can be the final girl. I'm a virgin, too. 647 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:25,844 I didn't sleep with Kurt. 648 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,368 So, now I guess I'll be able to save myself for George Michael after all. 649 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,484 - I wouldn't hold your breath, honey. - Why? 650 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,165 It doesn't matter. Nancy, you can't be the final girl. 651 00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,300 It's not in your DNA, or whatever. 652 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,220 You're the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 653 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,401 You get laid and then you die. 654 00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,126 You're just part of the body count. No offense. 655 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,090 That came out wrong. 656 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,168 - Thanks a lot. - Max. 657 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,204 I was just trying to help. 658 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,361 Nancy? 659 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,763 Am I really gonna die? 660 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:21,961 Yeah. 661 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,609 So, I guess I never grow up, 662 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:29,607 or fall in love or have kids. 663 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,300 I had this dream that when I graduated college, 664 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,801 I would meet a guy. 665 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:40,087 And we'd have a baby. A girl. 666 00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:45,804 And if she ever needed me, I would do anything for her. Anything. 667 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,410 I would've made a really great mom. 668 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,490 The best. 669 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,367 God, this totally sucks! It's so bogus! 670 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,500 I should have known something was up with this place. 671 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,660 I mean, think about it. 672 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,445 What the hell kind of summer camp has waterbeds? 673 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,487 What do we do now? 674 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,771 We fight. 675 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,220 All right, guys. No more junior varsity bullshit. 676 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:37,100 We gotta lead with a pro-style offense. Something Billy won't see coming. 677 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,060 We have to use everything we have at our disposal. 678 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:40,980 I was thinking the best opportunity for an ambush 679 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,380 would be the slumber party, with a few tweaks. 680 00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,220 That means it's just a question of luring him here at just the right time. 681 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,721 - How are we going to do that? - I think I have an idea. 682 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,140 "Operation Booby Trap?" 683 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,210 Yup. And Tina's going to be the bait. 684 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:45,806 Vicki, are you crying? 685 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,120 I'm fine. 686 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,220 Gertie, I'm sorry for that time in junior high 687 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,740 when I told everyone to start calling you "Ba-chunk-adunk." 688 00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:03,460 And then I covered your locker in bacon. That was so crappy. 689 00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,608 And I'm so sorry. 690 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:09,540 - I'm such a bad person. - You're not. It's okay. 691 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,140 If it makes you feel better, 692 00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,322 last summer, I'm the one who spread the rumor 693 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,091 that said you had a weird disease where you're always on your period. 694 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,004 - Wow. That's evil. - Thank you. 695 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:27,100 Hey, Max, if I'm going to die tonight, then I don't want to die without telling you 696 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:33,048 that when your mom died, you shut down completely. 697 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,008 And just cut me out of your life. 698 00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:40,084 And I missed you. I missed our friendship. 699 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,300 And then you two became best friends and, I don't know, I got jealous. 700 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:49,300 And so, I did some really bad things and I'm not proud of them. 701 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,020 - Vicki. - No, no, no, just let me finish, okay. 702 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,820 - I know that I've become a... - A bitch? 703 00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:01,609 Yes, thank you. But the thing is, Max, I've always looked up to you 704 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,241 because you were always the brave one. 705 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,284 So, be brave again. 706 00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,770 Vicki, you don't have to die. 707 00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,700 I'm the mean girl in the '80s horror movie. 708 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,451 And we're past the mid-point, so, you know, 709 00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,921 I'd say that I've overstayed my welcome. 710 00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,620 No, no, no! No. No, Tina. 711 00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:42,420 Tina, hey. Yeah. No. 712 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,967 You know not to take off any of your clothes until we say so, right? 713 00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,761 - Yeah. - No sex. 714 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:53,008 How could anyone think about sex when I have this rad gadget? 715 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,961 - What is this thing, anyway? - It's a phone. 716 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,441 Yeah. Please, I'm not that gullible. 717 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,420 Hello, operator? Yes, I'm trying to make a call 718 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,364 but I can't because my phone's not plugged into anything. 719 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:11,220 Oh, my God, kill me. 720 00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,402 Guys, it's almost time. Let's get ready. 721 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:14,681 Okay. 722 00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:19,921 How you holding up? 723 00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,366 Been better. How about you? 724 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,248 I'm really scared. 725 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,124 Are the arrows ready? 726 00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:35,291 Yeah, I'm on it. 727 00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,005 "Adderall." 728 00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,940 God, your parents must be freaking out right now. 729 00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,250 You've been gone for hours. They must be so worried about you. 730 00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:04,883 Not really. I never knew my dad. And my mom's away. 731 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,131 What's she like? 732 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,927 She was so beautiful and funny. 733 00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,283 She never knew how awesome she was. 734 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,446 How'd she die? 735 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:26,610 - I never said she died. - You said "was." So, I just figured. 736 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,123 It's okay. You don't have to tell me. 737 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,284 Here, I want you to have this. 738 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,682 It's a friendship bracelet. So, you don't forget me. 739 00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,246 How could I ever forget you? 740 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:50,340 You know, if this all works out, I'm really gonna miss you. 741 00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:51,930 When you go home, I mean. 742 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:57,610 God, I sound totally molded. I know we just met, it's silly for me to say that. 743 00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,980 It's just... I guess it's like, who am I going to talk to after you leave? 744 00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,128 You know? Tina? 745 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,611 She's not very smart. 746 00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,331 - Maybe you don't have to. - I don't? 747 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,700 I mean, I carpool with her to camp, it's kind of inevitable. 748 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,246 No, I mean, maybe you don't have to stay here. 749 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,002 Look, I know in the movie, you're supposed to die, 750 00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,884 but that doesn't mean you have to, right? 751 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,645 - Right. - And if you don't die, 752 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,969 then that means you'll be around at the end of the movie, when we leave. 753 00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:29,361 Right. 754 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:33,644 So, then who's to say you can't just come home with me? 755 00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:35,960 Oh, my God. 756 00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:39,284 - Where's home? - The Valley. 757 00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:41,521 The Valley. 758 00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,380 I don't know, Max, I don't know. 759 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,980 You're just... You're kind of blowing my mind right now. 760 00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,650 No, think about it! 761 00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:53,140 If you come home with me, you can be whoever you want. 762 00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:56,420 You don't have to be the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 763 00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,488 - You could be... - I could, like, go to college. 764 00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,409 - And drive a convertible. - Right. Totally! 765 00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:01,851 An go shopping at the mall. 766 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,771 Actually, people don't really shop at malls anymore. They shop online. 767 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:05,881 What's online? 768 00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,820 Never mind, I made that up. Just keep going! 769 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,460 Okay! I wanna shop online and I wanna start over. 770 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,803 You know, I could be different in the Valley. 771 00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,603 What if I don't make it, Max? 772 00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,204 This time, you will. 773 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,001 Hey, guys. 774 00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:43,967 Hi. So sorry to interrupt, but we have a bit of a situation. 775 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,340 - Tina, are you... - I'm great! I'm amazing! 776 00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:56,445 - She ate your Adderall? - Tina, hey. Eyes here. 777 00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,420 Yes. 778 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,171 How many of my Tic Tacs did you have? 779 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,688 They're not Tic Tacs! And I had three. 780 00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,020 No, 10 or 30! 781 00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,300 - It was 30! - Maybe we need to re-strategize. 782 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,290 No, no, no. I got this. I got this. 783 00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:14,700 Tina. 784 00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:18,725 - Are you sure you can... - Look, man, I got this, all right? 785 00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,402 I got this! I so got this. 786 00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,250 She'll be fine. I really think she's more focused now. 787 00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,044 - Right, Tina? - Yes! 788 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,121 Guys. Let's start. 789 00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,767 All right, guys. This is it. Sound off. Ready. 790 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,365 Ready! Ready! Ready! 791 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,848 - Totem pole? - Ready! 792 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,860 - Stereo? - Ready. 793 00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:51,530 - Arrows? - Ready! 794 00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,408 All right then, Nancy, unleash the beast. 795 01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:05,962 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's coming. He's coming! 796 01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,380 - He's coming! - Not yet. Wait to move! 797 01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,244 No, no! He's so close! 798 01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,165 Tina! 799 01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,291 Cut the rope! 800 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:30,564 - Gertie. - Yeah? 801 01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:32,641 I love you. 802 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,721 Screw it. 803 01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,768 Everybody in the kitchen! Now! Now! Go now! 804 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,286 It's okay. It's gonna be fine. 805 01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,208 Gertie, come on. Hurry up! 806 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,411 Go! 807 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,964 Go, go, go! Go! 808 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,561 Come on, Nancy. Come on. 809 01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,121 Shit! 810 01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:57,961 It's stuck! 811 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,330 We're stuck! We're stuck! 812 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,409 No! 813 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,964 Max, it's okay. 814 01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:25,721 Just go. 815 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:32,325 Go. 816 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:09,448 What's happening? 817 01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:16,049 It's slow motion. 818 01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:20,845 Jump! 819 01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,940 - Flashback! Flashback! Flashback! - What? 820 01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,660 - Just say the words! - What words? 821 01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,860 Billy Murphy was a kid who went to camp here years ago. 822 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,644 Tell me the story again! Hurry! 823 01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:44,860 He was always picked on for being different, ugly. 824 01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,291 Keep going. Don't stop! 825 01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:47,900 And then one summer, the hottest one on record, 826 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,287 the kids decided to play a little prank on him. 827 01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,171 - Where the hell are we? - A flashback! 828 01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,044 Does that mean we're safe? 829 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,282 Holy crap, this thing is heavy. 830 01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,331 Guys, where's Billy? 831 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:26,220 Billy locked himself in the outhouse, thinking he'd be safe, but he was wrong. 832 01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,845 Oh, my God, that's me! 833 01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,407 That's what I sound like? 834 01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,209 - Look at him run! - Wait. 835 01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:40,850 Where's Billy going? 836 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,521 Wait. 837 01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,803 I don't know that part of camp. I've never seen that cabin before. 838 01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:09,740 - Shit! End the flashback! End it! - Just skip to the end! 839 01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,401 Legend has it Billy still lives in these woods waiting for new counselors to cross his path, 840 01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:15,409 waiting to get revenge again and again. 841 01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:22,690 - Did we leave him there? - I wouldn't count on it. Let's move. 842 01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:38,806 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 843 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,487 - Yeah, I'm fine. - Max! 844 01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:44,041 - Max! - No! 845 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,580 Let me go! Let me go! 846 01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,364 - She's gone, Max. - No! She's alive! She's... 847 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,244 Max, she's gone. 848 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,171 No. She's not. 849 01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:58,641 Come on. 850 01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,161 Keep pressure on it. Don't move, I'll be back. 851 01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:28,130 Max, she's dead. 852 01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:32,761 She's supposed to die, just like the rest of them. 853 01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:36,100 No, she's lived this far into the movie, longer than she ever has before. 854 01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:37,645 She's not real. 855 01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,140 - None of this is real. - Yes, she is! 856 01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:42,446 Max, wait. 857 01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,482 I don't wanna die alone. 858 01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,843 Listen to me. You're not gonna die. 859 01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,443 Nobody else is dying tonight. 860 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,684 I know exactly where he's taken her. 861 01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:38,211 Hey, Nancy. 862 01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,808 Max? Max! 863 01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:55,964 He was right there. 864 01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:33,481 No! 865 01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:46,161 Get up! 866 01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,162 Come on, let's get out of here. 867 01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:52,644 Come on, come on. 868 01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:07,650 - Chris. - Max, over here. 869 01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,324 Sit down. 870 01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:20,570 - Am I dying? - No. I know how to fix it. 871 01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:25,525 You're not the final girl yet, Max. Because of me. I'm still alive. 872 01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,540 - No. - Yes. 873 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:31,008 No! I'm already dying, so you could survive! 874 01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:35,205 - You can be the final girl. - No, Max. No. 875 01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,122 That's not who I'm supposed to be, remember? 876 01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:41,047 I'm just the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 877 01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:43,608 Yeah, but you wanted to change that. 878 01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:48,525 - Honey, let me do this. - No. 879 01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,486 Max, I'm not afraid. 880 01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:57,484 I wanted to save you. 881 01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:01,842 Max, you did. 882 01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:04,900 You did, Max. 883 01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:08,402 Just by letting me be here with you. 884 01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:13,380 I've never felt more real or more alive ever before. 885 01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:14,606 No. 886 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:18,122 No, Mom, you belong at home, with me. 887 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:23,220 Look, your name is Amanda Cartwright, and you live in Encino, 888 01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,660 and you love Bette Davis Eyes and Mel's Diner. 889 01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:32,324 And you wanted to be the biggest movie star, more than anything in the world. 890 01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:36,685 And you had a daughter. 891 01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,530 You have a daughter. 892 01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,202 I'm not going back without you. 893 01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,802 I don't wanna lose you again. 894 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,960 Max. 895 01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:01,804 I'm not lost. I'm right here, all right? 896 01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:04,681 You'll always know where to find me, okay? 897 01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,764 But you have to let me go. 898 01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,730 You have to let me go. 899 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,571 Bye, Max. 900 01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:46,491 I love you. 901 01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:52,688 That's what I never got to tell her. 902 01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:55,365 Don't worry. 903 01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,609 Wherever she is, she knows. 904 01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:02,843 You were right about one thing, you know? 905 01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:04,841 What? 906 01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:07,484 I'm a movie star. 907 01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,281 Her hair is Harlowe gold 908 01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,926 Her lips sweet surprise 909 01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,925 Her hands are never cold 910 01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:44,580 She's got Bette Davis eyes 911 01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,887 She'll turn her music on you 912 01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,087 You won't have to think twice 913 01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,121 She's pure as New York snow 914 01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:59,370 She got Bette Davis eyes 915 01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:03,884 And she'll tease you 916 01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:05,884 She'll unease you 917 01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:09,841 All the better just to please you 918 01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:13,927 She's precocious and she knows just 919 01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:18,404 What it takes to make a pro blush 920 01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:22,700 She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs 921 01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:26,725 She's got Bette Davis eyes 922 01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:34,806 She'll let you take her home 923 01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:38,282 It whets her appetite 924 01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:43,085 She'll lay you on her throne 925 01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:46,700 She got Bette Davis eyes 926 01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,485 She'll take a tumble on you 927 01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:53,041 Roll you like you were dice 928 01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,127 Until you come out blue 929 01:15:58,360 --> 01:16:01,170 She's got Bette Davis eyes 930 01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:51,968 You just fucked with the wrong virgin. 931 01:18:58,120 --> 01:18:59,281 It's over. 932 01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:34,201 - What is happening? - I don't know. 933 01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:42,681 Hold on tight! 934 01:20:20,360 --> 01:20:22,601 This food is so disgusting. 935 01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:26,084 Speak for yourself, girl. This tapioca pudding is incredible! 936 01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:29,723 You've had like 15 of those in the last 30 minutes. 937 01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:31,450 I counted them, 15! 938 01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:34,281 Little known fact, I can't stand tapioca pudding. 939 01:20:34,440 --> 01:20:37,683 - Then why did you eat 30 of them? - Let me eat my feelings in peace. 940 01:20:38,800 --> 01:20:39,847 - Max! - Hey! 941 01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:41,886 You're awake! 942 01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:52,047 When you get a second, try the pudding. 943 01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:57,926 - Wait, where are we? - We're home. 944 01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:04,180 - But was it a dream or... - No, not at all! 945 01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,805 Remember? 946 01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:10,780 That is a machete wound, poorly stitched by an incompetent doctor. 947 01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,521 I'm actually more concerned about tetanus because the machete had a bit of rust on it, 948 01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:17,564 and I did not see the doctor give me a shot. 949 01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:21,140 Duncan, I love you and I'm so happy you survived, 950 01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:22,260 but do you hear yourself 951 01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:23,420 - when you say things? - God. 952 01:21:23,520 --> 01:21:25,807 - Do you hear the words in your head first? - And she's back. 953 01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:29,649 I feel like the jock at high school just gave me his promise ring. 954 01:21:51,040 --> 01:21:53,281 - Doctor, stop. - Come on. 955 01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:57,163 - My shift's almost over. - I have to do my rounds. 956 01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,687 And what beautiful rounds they are. 957 01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:02,323 Oh, my God. Of course. 958 01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:08,368 Of course, what? 959 01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:17,481 The sequel! 960 01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:24,804 This is so great! The sequel is so much cooler than the original. 961 01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:33,561 Mark. 962 01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:38,060 Let me just wipe my sweat off with this tampon. 963 01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:39,207 Blooper! 964 01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:44,724 How about you go suck a turd? 965 01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,521 That's perfect, so perfectly bad. 966 01:22:47,840 --> 01:22:52,209 Like that's Bad. Michael Jackson Bad? That guy's talented. 967 01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:53,810 - King of Pop. - Yeah. 968 01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,682 Wasn't expecting that. 969 01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,420 - No! - Shit. 970 01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:09,521 It's broken! 971 01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:15,766 Oh, God, you killed Duncan. You smell great, by the way. 972 01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:17,700 You killed him! 973 01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:20,451 I promise I won't tell the cops if we just go have sex! 974 01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:22,683 Right now! Now! 975 01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:29,446 I'm not even scared. 976 01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:34,971 God, Jesus. 977 01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:37,126 ...Chris. 978 01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:38,241 One more time! 979 01:23:40,760 --> 01:23:43,860 I've only had sex one time and it was with my cousin Heather! 980 01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:49,205 Honestly, that wasn't your fault, and I won't tell the cops if we have sex. 981 01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:51,726 Let's... 982 01:23:55,560 --> 01:23:58,420 Look, Chris, you and I don't know each other well. 983 01:23:58,520 --> 01:24:00,522 So, lose the familiarity. 984 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,525 What a rude little girl you're being. 985 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:08,967 She's not like this at home. She's just showing off. 986 01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:11,700 You guys have to learn how to not break. 987 01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,167 I'm scared. 988 01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:16,420 I get it, because you've only had sex with one person 989 01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:19,980 and I'm freaking double-digits slayer over here. 990 01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,605 You probably don't even know this move. 991 01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:28,885 I feel like I'm walking out like Kramer. 992 01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:31,641 Jerry. 993 01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:37,244 Well, all my bones are broken except for the one. 994 01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:42,500 I'm actually talking about this arm. My penis is severely injured. 995 01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:44,443 It's like split in three different parts. 996 01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:54,780 Okay, okay, people are dying. 997 01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:56,689 Oh, my God! 998 01:24:58,720 --> 01:25:02,247 It's not "Ew." It's not "Ew." 999 01:25:03,840 --> 01:25:05,604 Too sexy? Was it too sexy? 1000 01:25:06,520 --> 01:25:07,965 Impossible. 1001 01:25:08,080 --> 01:25:12,085 Ever since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being the final girl. 1002 01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:18,284 I want you to come study. 1003 01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,361 One more time. 1004 01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:29,684 Well, Vicki, you're a virgin. No, you're not, you're a slut. 1005 01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,481 He had, like, the weird mustache. 1006 01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:41,364 Yeah, right! A phone that I can put in my mouth? 1007 01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,601 From the movie. 1008 01:25:51,040 --> 01:25:52,326 Jesus! 1009 01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:04,403 All right, see you in there. 1010 01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:13,721 That's a cut!