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[Prologue]

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♪ Lascia ch'io pianga from Handel's Rinaldo ♪

4
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[Chapter One: Grief]

5
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:47,980
Hey.

6
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,993
How are ya?

7
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,502
Didn't we just talk about that?

8
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,302
That was yesterday.

9
00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:01,471
Today is Tuesday.

10
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,120
So I've been here long?

11
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,990
A month.

12
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,849
Wayne says that...

13
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,988
...my grief pattern is atypical.

14
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,037
Yeah.

15
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,096
Got to talk with Wayne.

16
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,635
I think he gives too much medication.
Way too much.

17
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,614
Stop it, please.

18
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,674
Trust others to be smarter than you.

19
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,773
He's straight out of medical school;
he doesn't know what he's doing.

20
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,573
I've treated ten times
as many patients as he has.

21
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,412
But you're not a doctor.

22
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,962
No, I'm not.

23
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:02,031
And I'm proud that I'm not,
when I meet a doctor like him.

24
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,481
There is nothing ...

25
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,581
...atypical about your grief.

26
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,539
It was my fault.

27
00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:23,748
What about me?

28
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:25,378
I was there too.

29
00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:27,327
I could have stopped him.

30
00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:30,077
No.

31
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:34,936
You didn't know that he...

32
00:08:34,956 --> 00:08:36,936
...had started waking up lately.

33
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:44,135
I was aware that he would sometimes ...

34
00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,004
...wake up...

35
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,974
...and crawl out of bed.

36
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,213
And walk about...

37
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:57,133
...just as he thought that
you were soundly asleep.

38
00:08:57,780 --> 00:08:59,972
He could open the baby gate.

39
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,512
He ...

40
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,991
He woke up ...

41
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,891
And w...

42
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,170
...was confused.

43
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,269
Hey.

44
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,045
Dr. Wayne says he won't be back up.

45
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,274
You couldn't leave it, could you?

46
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,884
Had to mettle.

47
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,354
This place leads nowhere.

48
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:55,773
On the contrary.

49
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,543
Grief.

50
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:04,202
It's not a disease.
It's a natural healthy reaction.

51
00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:06,132
You can't just remove it.
You mustn't.

52
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:09,981
Wayne knows you're a therapist.

53
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,211
He said you shouldn't treat your own family.

54
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,310
In principle I agree, but...

55
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,240
But you're just so much smarter...

56
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,629
...aren't you?

57
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:22,509
I love you.

58
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:28,418
Nothing hurts more than
to see the one that you love...

59
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:31,458
...subjected to mistakes and wrongs.

60
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:36,087
No therapist can know
as much about you as I do.

61
00:12:51,655 --> 00:12:53,405
It hurts.
I know.

62
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:56,765
There's no way around it.

63
00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:03,123
I want to talk to...

64
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,123
Nah, I'm not gonna let you do that.

65
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:12,252
Will it just go on and on?

66
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:13,872
No.

67
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,512
No, it'll change.

68
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,901
Will it get any worse?

69
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,020
Yes, it will.

70
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,000
You've always been distant from me and Nick.

71
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,536
Now that I come to think of it...

72
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,855
...very, very distant.

73
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:57,135
Okay.

74
00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:00,064
Can you give me some examples
of this?

75
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,244
Hell, that's not that difficult to understand.

76
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:12,233
Like, last summer for instance.

77
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,012
You were terribly distant last summer.

78
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:19,671
As a father...

79
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,431
...and as a husband.

80
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:25,920
And that was Nick's last summer
you missed out on.

81
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,550
Too bad.

82
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,649
I never interested you.

83
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:36,789
Until now...

84
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,218
...that I'm your patient.

85
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,457
Perhaps I'm not supposed
to talk about these things.

86
00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:47,037
There is nothing you can't talk about.

87
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:54,116
You're indifferent
to whether your child is alive or dead.

88
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:05,364
I bet you have a lot of
clever therapist replies to that.

89
00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:06,864
Haven't you?

90
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:13,473
Well, actually...

91
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,592
It was to honor your wish.

92
00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:19,612
You wanted peace to write.

93
00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:22,431
Perhaps I didn't mean it.

94
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:25,381
What I understood ...

95
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,720
...is that you wanted to write alone.

96
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:32,180
That you and Nick,
were going to go to Eden;

97
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,460
just the two of you.

98
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,409
That way
you could finish your thesis.

99
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,578
But I didn't.

100
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,688
You didn't?

101
00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:45,568
You see?

102
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,207
You didn't even know that.

103
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,757
Why did you give up?
That's not like you.

104
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:53,256
The whole project just seemed
less important up there.

105
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:57,276
As you said,
when I like talked to you about my subject...

106
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:59,026
"Glib".

107
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,085
I never called your subject glib.

108
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,115
Perhaps you didn't use that word,
but that's what you meant.

109
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,394
And all of a sudden
it was glib.

110
00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:13,513
Or even worse...
some, some kind of lie.

111
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,253
I see.

112
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,533
No, you don't see.

113
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:21,022
You see a lot of things,
but not that.

114
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,357
Inhale,
on the count of five.

115
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,517
Calmly, calmly.

116
00:17:55,520 --> 00:18:00,376
Just... Follow me.
Do it with me. Inhale.

117
00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:02,866
Inhale, on a count of five.

118
00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:06,995
Inhale... Two.

119
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:12,294
Stay with me...

120
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,754
Stay with me.
I'm gonna teach you how to breathe.

121
00:18:15,474 --> 00:18:16,474
Inhale...

122
00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:20,843
2, 3, 4, 5, hold.

123
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:28,002
2, 3, 4, 5, exhale,
2, 3, 4. Good.

124
00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:29,142
Imagine...

125
00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,371
Imagine you're blowing on your...

126
00:18:31,591 --> 00:18:33,981
...thistle blooms.

127
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:36,091
Calmly, quietly...

128
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,210
Yes, yes, that's good.

129
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,769
That's good.

130
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,299
That's very good.

131
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,888
I told you there would be a change.

132
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,457
You're still mourning,
but you're in a new phase.

133
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,701
What phase?
Anxiety.

134
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:06,786
Anxiety?

135
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:07,895
Yes.

136
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:09,965
This is physical.

137
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,204
It's dangerous.
No, it's not dangerous.

138
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,794
Just as your grief wasn't dangerous.

139
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:22,613
A main part of anxiety...

140
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:23,873
...is physical,

141
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,533
dizzy spells,

142
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,522
dry mouth,

143
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,952
distorted hearing,

144
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:31,342
trembling,

145
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:33,071
heavy breathing,

146
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,361
fast pulse,

147
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:35,651
nausea.

148
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,139
Hey!

149
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:56,098
Easy.
Never screw your therapist.

150
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,447
No matter how much
your therapist may like it.

151
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,727
I know that distracts you, but...

152
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:05,606
...it's not good for us.

153
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:07,046
Do the breathing.

154
00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,400
Hold.

155
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:13,995
Exhale.

156
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,337
Do you love me?

157
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:18,424
Yes, I do.

158
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,580
Then help me.

159
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,600
That's what I'm doing.

160
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,521
Exposure.

161
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:39,931
That's the only thing that really works.

162
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:43,620
Everything else is...
just talk.

163
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:49,168
You have to have the courage
to stay in the situation that frightens you.

164
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:52,575
And then you'll learn
that fear isn't dangerous.

165
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:57,141
Let's make a list of things
you're afraid of.

166
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,335
At the top
you put the situation you fear the most.

167
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:09,107
But I don't know
what I'm afraid of.

168
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:14,895
Just... take your time.

169
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:17,660
I'm thinking.

170
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:19,105
Okay.

171
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:27,110
I'm thinking ah, but I...

172
00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:33,140
Can't I just be afraid
without a definite object?

173
00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:32,813
No, no!

174
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:34,810
Calm down.

175
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:40,140
Come on. Calm down.

176
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,326
This won't do.

177
00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:23,926
Stup... Stupidest thing I could do to you.

178
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,763
If you can't tell me...

179
00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:36,231
...what you're afraid of,
maybe it would be easier for you to tell me...

180
00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:37,953
...where you're afraid?

181
00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:41,050
Where would you feel most exposed?

182
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,716
What would be the worst place?

183
00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:49,121
An apartment?

184
00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:54,940
On the street?

185
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,279
A store?

186
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:01,079
The park?

187
00:24:04,420 --> 00:24:06,182
Listening to someone, maybe.

188
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:18,880
The woods.

189
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,080
The woods?

190
00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:30,004
The woods, yes.
It's funny because...

191
00:24:30,184 --> 00:24:32,814
...you were the one that always wanted
to go into the woods.

192
00:24:34,660 --> 00:24:39,960
What scares you about the woods?
What frightens you, there?

193
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:46,052
Everything.

194
00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:55,396
Tell me what you think
is supposed to happen in the woods.

195
00:25:02,780 --> 00:25:03,989
Is...

196
00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:08,082
Is it any woods in particular?

197
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:16,326
Eden.

198
00:25:16,327 --> 00:25:17,827
Eden?

199
00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,131
Well, what do you say we put...

200
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:30,305
The garden around Eden
at the top of the pyramid?

201
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,454
No.

202
00:25:33,860 --> 00:25:35,764
Not quite at the top.

203
00:25:47,142 --> 00:25:48,142
No.

204
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:50,240
Don't you...

205
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,380
Stop it! Stop.

206
00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:58,760
Okay.

207
00:26:08,340 --> 00:26:10,680
Ow! Ow.

208
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:18,658
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's alright.

209
00:26:19,180 --> 00:26:20,400
I don't know what...

210
00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:01,974
We can start by working on your expectations.

211
00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:04,620
Close your eyes.

212
00:27:09,860 --> 00:27:12,258
Feel the seat underneath you.

213
00:27:14,260 --> 00:27:17,376
Feel yourself sinking down into it.

214
00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:19,772
Enfolding you...

215
00:27:21,060 --> 00:27:22,555
It's a nice feeling.

216
00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:27,530
All you feel is a pleasant warmth...

217
00:27:28,388 --> 00:27:29,599
...and heaviness.

218
00:27:31,780 --> 00:27:34,274
Your breath... is deep,

219
00:27:36,140 --> 00:27:40,654
regular, easing.

220
00:27:41,384 --> 00:27:42,384
Now...

221
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:45,222
...imagine you're at Eden.

222
00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:50,050
Imagine you arrived
at Eden through the woods.

223
00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:55,222
Tell me what you see.

224
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:02,470
I'm at the bridge.

225
00:28:03,660 --> 00:28:05,278
It's evening.

226
00:28:07,780 --> 00:28:09,849
Almost no birds can be heard.

227
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,087
The water is running without a sound.

228
00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:19,637
Darkness comes early down here.

229
00:28:22,487 --> 00:28:23,637
I walk into it.

230
00:28:36,420 --> 00:28:42,704
The little deers are hiding among the ferns, as usual.

231
00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:47,013
Is it difficult to walk there?

232
00:28:48,180 --> 00:28:51,163
No, not really.

233
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:55,280
In fact, it's almost okay.

234
00:29:04,580 --> 00:29:06,490
In among the trees,

235
00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:08,727
on the slope,

236
00:29:09,820 --> 00:29:12,246
there's a big old foxhole.

237
00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:17,646
How do you feel there?

238
00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:22,148
I can't really tell.

239
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:25,537
It should be easy...

240
00:29:25,572 --> 00:29:26,647
...passing.

241
00:29:27,787 --> 00:29:28,817
And yet...

242
00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:32,280
It's like walking through mud.

243
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:43,524
The trunk is thick.

244
00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:48,744
The tree rots so slowly.

245
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:54,143
It has some strange kind of personality.

246
00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:57,332
I've always felt that.

247
00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:05,041
And now?

248
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,580
Where are you? Are you,
are you heading for the cabin?

249
00:30:12,580 --> 00:30:13,820
Yes, I am.

250
00:30:17,340 --> 00:30:19,589
I'm walking up the path,

251
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:21,728
through the tall grass.

252
00:30:21,980 --> 00:30:23,088
Then don't go in.

253
00:30:24,060 --> 00:30:25,088
Don't go in.

254
00:30:26,820 --> 00:30:28,617
It's the outside you're afraid of.

255
00:30:28,637 --> 00:30:29,767
Now look around.

256
00:30:30,860 --> 00:30:32,137
No.

257
00:30:33,286 --> 00:30:34,706
Lie down on the green.

258
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:39,495
You want me to lie down?

259
00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:41,215
Lie down on the grass.

260
00:30:44,695 --> 00:30:48,074
On top of all the plants?
Y... yes, lie down on the plants.

261
00:31:02,180 --> 00:31:03,282
Are you lying down?

262
00:31:05,260 --> 00:31:06,341
Yes.

263
00:31:08,220 --> 00:31:09,251
Good.

264
00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:11,390
What is everything like around you?

265
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:15,260
Green.

266
00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:18,249
It's all very green.

267
00:31:20,740 --> 00:31:21,749
Good.

268
00:31:23,978 --> 00:31:25,728
Now will you do what I ask you?

269
00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:29,238
Yes.

270
00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:31,477
What do you want me to do?

271
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,257
I want you...

272
00:31:36,500 --> 00:31:38,526
...to melt into the green.

273
00:31:40,220 --> 00:31:41,436
Don't fight it.

274
00:31:42,620 --> 00:31:43,835
Just...

275
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,565
...turn green.

276
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:57,293
No matter what happens,
you were there. You did it.

277
00:32:00,380 --> 00:32:02,492
Let fear come, if it likes.

278
00:32:02,820 --> 00:32:07,022
Remember, what the mind can conceive
and believe it can achieve.

279
00:32:58,540 --> 00:32:59,633
What's wrong?

280
00:33:00,220 --> 00:33:01,633
The ground is burning.

281
00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:04,262
The ground is not burning.

282
00:33:09,872 --> 00:33:10,771
Gotta go.

283
00:33:30,580 --> 00:33:31,708
I want to lie down.

284
00:33:32,740 --> 00:33:33,708
Just for a minute.

285
00:33:36,527 --> 00:33:37,487
Sure.

286
00:33:38,580 --> 00:33:39,727
Yeah, We'll take a rest.

287
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:07,280
[Chapter Two: Pain (Chaos Reigns)]

288
00:36:08,820 --> 00:36:10,013
Shouldn't we go on?

289
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,272
Yeah.

290
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:21,381
Yeah, we should.

291
00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:28,730
Start.

292
00:37:31,940 --> 00:37:33,170
Stay with it.

293
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:39,769
I know it hurts.

294
00:37:40,620 --> 00:37:42,678
Stay! Stay in it.

295
00:40:47,729 --> 00:40:50,068
It's just the stupid acorns.

296
00:42:19,474 --> 00:42:20,414
What are you doing?

297
00:42:21,374 --> 00:42:22,314
I'm just...

298
00:42:23,993 --> 00:42:26,983
...setting up a little exercise.

299
00:42:28,493 --> 00:42:30,792
It's... it's like a...

300
00:42:32,980 --> 00:42:34,262
It's like a game.

301
00:42:34,632 --> 00:42:36,012
You cheated me yesterday.

302
00:42:37,081 --> 00:42:38,261
Running's no good.

303
00:42:38,521 --> 00:42:40,901
You have to
really feel the grass.

304
00:42:42,241 --> 00:42:43,720
I want you to go from this stone...

305
00:42:45,620 --> 00:42:47,000
...to this stone.

306
00:42:48,789 --> 00:42:50,149
Pretty scary, huh?

307
00:42:51,519 --> 00:42:52,439
You ready?

308
00:42:54,079 --> 00:42:55,019
Here,

309
00:42:55,958 --> 00:42:56,948
I'll give you a ride.

310
00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:00,238
I'll put you on the first stone.

311
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:04,657
Just stay with it.

312
00:43:06,167 --> 00:43:06,977
Here we go.

313
00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:09,116
Now put your foot down.
I got you.

314
00:43:09,616 --> 00:43:11,336
I got you!
I'm right here.

315
00:43:12,106 --> 00:43:13,136
I can't do this.

316
00:43:13,171 --> 00:43:14,355
Yes, you can.

317
00:43:15,035 --> 00:43:16,585
You can and you will.

318
00:43:16,735 --> 00:43:17,965
Just like I will.

319
00:43:18,115 --> 00:43:19,965
We're gonna walk together.

320
00:43:20,234 --> 00:43:21,614
We're gonna walk together, okay?

321
00:43:21,649 --> 00:43:22,744
Nope.

322
00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:24,744
Alright, now breathe.

323
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:26,743
You're gonna step off the rock.

324
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:29,283
You're gonna step on that grass.

325
00:43:30,180 --> 00:43:31,163
Step down.

326
00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:34,042
Safe. What happened? Nothing.

327
00:43:34,372 --> 00:43:36,402
Keep breathing.
Kee... keep breathing.

328
00:43:36,472 --> 00:43:37,600
I've got you.

329
00:43:37,940 --> 00:43:39,751
You're really doing great.

330
00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:41,921
You okay? Keep breathing.

331
00:43:41,956 --> 00:43:44,051
Five, five and five.

332
00:43:47,910 --> 00:43:48,980
You're almost there.

333
00:43:49,750 --> 00:43:51,480
You're almost there.
You're doing great.

334
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:55,649
You're doing fine.

335
00:44:00,568 --> 00:44:02,228
We're there. Gee, we're there.

336
00:44:02,338 --> 00:44:03,660
There you go.

337
00:44:08,447 --> 00:44:09,607
You did it.

338
00:44:13,196 --> 00:44:14,226
You learned something.

339
00:44:16,885 --> 00:44:18,025
Didn't you?

340
00:44:22,525 --> 00:44:23,900
You did beautifully.

341
00:44:25,644 --> 00:44:26,634
You did beautifully.

342
00:45:16,246 --> 00:45:18,320
I miss him so much.

343
00:45:38,033 --> 00:45:39,712
I've been afraid up here before.

344
00:45:41,742 --> 00:45:43,562
Yes, it seems likely.

345
00:45:45,981 --> 00:45:47,491
I just didn't know it was fear.

346
00:45:52,970 --> 00:45:56,470
I became afraid...
...and I stopped writing.

347
00:45:59,069 --> 00:46:01,259
What was different... the last time?

348
00:46:07,588 --> 00:46:08,638
I heard a sound.

349
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:20,240
[Baby crying]

350
00:46:29,724 --> 00:46:30,684
Nick?

351
00:46:34,054 --> 00:46:35,213
Nick!

352
00:46:41,832 --> 00:46:42,922
Nick!

353
00:46:52,821 --> 00:46:53,651
Nick!

354
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:00,989
Nick!

355
00:48:04,789 --> 00:48:07,000
You didn't hear Nick screaming.

356
00:48:10,528 --> 00:48:11,718
Apparently not.

357
00:48:12,218 --> 00:48:15,780
And because you experienced
something that you couldn't explain rationally,

358
00:48:15,797 --> 00:48:18,980
you placed Eden very
high on the pyramid chart.

359
00:48:24,260 --> 00:48:26,790
Eden was the catalyst
that triggered your fear.

360
00:48:27,060 --> 00:48:28,790
You jumped to conclusions...

361
00:48:29,460 --> 00:48:32,120
...and tied the emotional event with the place.

362
00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:36,000
When you feel threatened
it's natural to react.

363
00:48:36,580 --> 00:48:39,930
If the danger were real,
your fear would save your life.

364
00:48:40,140 --> 00:48:43,470
Because your adrenaline will be used
for fight or flight.

365
00:48:45,420 --> 00:48:48,420
But what you're experiencing
is panic, nothing more.

366
00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:51,330
The scream wasn't real.

367
00:49:01,860 --> 00:49:02,750
Stop!

368
00:49:05,630 --> 00:49:07,620
Ca... Calm down.

369
00:49:08,540 --> 00:49:09,980
You shouldn't have come here.

370
00:49:11,580 --> 00:49:13,388
You're just so damn arrogant.

371
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:17,480
But this may not last.

372
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:20,510
Ever thought of that?

373
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,610
Oak trees grow to be hundreds of years old.

374
00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:40,420
They only have to produce
one single tree every hundred years...

375
00:49:40,740 --> 00:49:42,420
...in order to propagate.

376
00:49:42,740 --> 00:49:44,420
May sound benal to you, but...

377
00:49:44,860 --> 00:49:48,530
...it was a big thing for me to realize that
when I was up here with Nick.

378
00:49:54,740 --> 00:49:57,500
The acorns fell on the roof then too.

379
00:49:58,980 --> 00:50:01,990
Kept falling and falling.

380
00:50:03,140 --> 00:50:05,870
And dying and dying.

381
00:50:11,140 --> 00:50:12,730
And I understood that...

382
00:50:15,060 --> 00:50:18,390
...everything that used to be beautiful about Eden...

383
00:50:19,340 --> 00:50:21,260
...was perhaps hideous.

384
00:50:24,060 --> 00:50:28,320
Now I could hear
what I couldn't hear before.

385
00:50:31,260 --> 00:50:35,370
The cry of all the things that are to die.

386
00:50:39,900 --> 00:50:41,340
It's all...

387
00:50:42,020 --> 00:50:43,500
...very touching,

388
00:50:44,420 --> 00:50:46,710
if it was a children's book.

389
00:50:50,100 --> 00:50:52,130
Acorns don't cry.

390
00:50:53,620 --> 00:50:55,610
You know that as well as I do.

391
00:50:56,260 --> 00:50:58,160
That's what fear is.

392
00:50:59,220 --> 00:51:02,140
Your thoughts distort reality.

393
00:51:03,420 --> 00:51:05,330
Not the other way around...

394
00:51:11,100 --> 00:51:14,000
Satan's Church.
Satan? Jesus!

395
00:51:14,010 --> 00:51:15,880
Nature is Satan's Church.

396
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:18,740
What?

397
00:51:22,100 --> 00:51:23,610
Well, there you have him.

398
00:51:25,260 --> 00:51:26,630
That was his brother.

399
00:51:57,540 --> 00:51:58,570
Nick.

400
00:52:00,140 --> 00:52:02,470
He drifted away from me the last time.

401
00:52:05,020 --> 00:52:07,251
He was always out and about.

402
00:52:07,861 --> 00:52:10,960
He might have made more of an effort
to be there for me.

403
00:54:10,820 --> 00:54:12,500
You look like you slept well.

404
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:14,400
Thanks, I did.

405
00:54:21,319 --> 00:54:24,029
I just wanted to say how happy
I am that you're here.

406
00:54:28,118 --> 00:54:29,158
I love you darling.

407
00:54:38,537 --> 00:54:40,000
Did you have a good sleep?

408
00:54:42,836 --> 00:54:44,326
I've just been having a lot of...

409
00:54:45,226 --> 00:54:46,325
...crazy dreams.

410
00:54:47,555 --> 00:54:50,550
Dreams are of no interest
in modern psychology.

411
00:54:51,884 --> 00:54:53,454
Freud is dead, isn't he?

412
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,540
Yeah.

413
00:55:13,381 --> 00:55:14,581
What are you doing?

414
00:55:14,781 --> 00:55:15,710
Look!

415
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:19,870
I'm well again.

416
00:55:28,639 --> 00:55:29,838
I'm cured!

417
00:55:32,198 --> 00:55:33,598
I say, clever.

418
00:55:36,977 --> 00:55:38,227
I'm fine.

419
00:55:45,046 --> 00:55:47,056
You cannot just be happy for me, can you?

420
00:57:53,816 --> 00:57:56,875
Chaos ... reigns!

421
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:12,360
[Chapter Three: Despair (Gynocide)]

422
01:02:07,060 --> 01:02:09,340
I'd like to do one more exercise.

423
01:02:09,420 --> 01:02:10,870
It's like role-playing.

424
01:02:12,740 --> 01:02:13,554
My role...

425
01:02:14,780 --> 01:02:15,474
...is...

426
01:02:16,260 --> 01:02:18,580
All the thoughts
that provoke your fear...

427
01:02:19,020 --> 01:02:19,983
Yours...

428
01:02:20,260 --> 01:02:21,700
...is rational thinking.

429
01:02:27,140 --> 01:02:28,250
I'm nature.

430
01:02:29,620 --> 01:02:31,580
All the things that you call nature.

431
01:02:39,540 --> 01:02:41,630
Okay, Mr.Nature.

432
01:02:44,089 --> 01:02:45,810
What d... what do you want?

433
01:02:49,300 --> 01:02:51,100
To hurt you as much as I can.

434
01:02:57,580 --> 01:02:58,590
How?

435
01:03:00,300 --> 01:03:01,580
How do you think?

436
01:03:08,980 --> 01:03:10,320
By frightening me?

437
01:03:13,980 --> 01:03:15,110
By killing you.

438
01:03:18,140 --> 01:03:19,670
Nature can't harm me.

439
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,630
You just old greenery outside.

440
01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:24,530
No, I'm more than that.

441
01:03:27,140 --> 01:03:28,640
I don't understand.

442
01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:33,090
I'm outside, but also...

443
01:03:36,380 --> 01:03:37,220
...within.

444
01:03:39,940 --> 01:03:41,910
I'm nature of all human beings.

445
01:03:42,420 --> 01:03:44,640
Oh, that kind of nature.

446
01:03:49,549 --> 01:03:51,149
And the kind of nature that...

447
01:03:51,239 --> 01:03:55,278
...causes people to do
evil things against women.

448
01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:57,280
That's exactly who I am.

449
01:03:57,820 --> 01:04:00,980
That kind of nature interested me a lot...

450
01:04:01,420 --> 01:04:02,700
...when I was up here.

451
01:04:04,060 --> 01:04:07,240
That kind of nature
was the subject to my thesis.

452
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:12,720
But you shouldn't underestimate Eden.

453
01:04:15,380 --> 01:04:16,900
What did Eden do?

454
01:04:17,380 --> 01:04:20,900
I discovered somethng else
in my material than I expected.

455
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:25,810
If human nature is evil...

456
01:04:26,700 --> 01:04:28,430
...then that goes as well...

457
01:04:28,740 --> 01:04:30,133
...that the nature...

458
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:32,530
Of the women.

459
01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:36,240
Female nature.

460
01:04:36,620 --> 01:04:38,760
The nature of all the sisters.

461
01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:44,160
Women do not
control their own bodies.

462
01:04:44,340 --> 01:04:45,710
Nature does.

463
01:04:47,020 --> 01:04:49,330
I have it in writing in my books.

464
01:04:49,780 --> 01:04:52,090
The literature that you
used in your research...

465
01:04:52,100 --> 01:04:55,300
...was about evil things
committed against women.

466
01:04:55,310 --> 01:04:58,080
But you read it as proof
of the evil of women?

467
01:04:58,860 --> 01:05:02,410
You were supposed to be critical of those texts;
that was your thesis.

468
01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:04,750
Instead, you're embracing it.

469
01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:07,200
D... do you know what you're saying?

470
01:05:08,860 --> 01:05:09,750
Forget it.

471
01:05:10,660 --> 01:05:12,310
I do not know why I said it.

472
01:05:13,780 --> 01:05:15,570
I... I can't work anymore now.

473
01:05:27,380 --> 01:05:28,350
Hit me.

474
01:05:29,460 --> 01:05:30,223
What?

475
01:05:30,540 --> 01:05:32,223
Hit me so it hurts.

476
01:05:33,100 --> 01:05:33,902
No.

477
01:05:34,300 --> 01:05:35,850
Hit me, please!

478
01:05:35,980 --> 01:05:36,742
No!

479
01:05:37,380 --> 01:05:39,080
I can't stand it!

480
01:05:39,740 --> 01:05:40,980
I don't want to.

481
01:05:41,180 --> 01:05:42,520
I don't want to.

482
01:05:53,620 --> 01:05:55,170
Then you don't love me.

483
01:05:58,420 --> 01:05:59,808
Okay.

484
01:06:00,940 --> 01:06:02,170
Maybe I don't love you.

485
01:06:02,260 --> 01:06:02,998
Yeah.

486
01:06:57,940 --> 01:06:59,019
Again.

487
01:06:59,820 --> 01:07:00,899
Again!

488
01:07:06,260 --> 01:07:08,190
The sisters from Ratismith...

489
01:07:08,380 --> 01:07:10,090
...could start a hail storm.

490
01:07:52,260 --> 01:07:55,310
I'm not gonna continue this
if you don't listen to me.

491
01:07:57,060 --> 01:07:59,050
Good and evil...

492
01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:01,540
...have nothing to do with therapy.

493
01:08:03,660 --> 01:08:08,250
Do you know how many innocent women were
killed in the sixteenth century alone...

494
01:08:08,260 --> 01:08:09,348
...just for being women?

495
01:08:10,140 --> 01:08:11,940
I'm sure you do. Many.

496
01:08:13,180 --> 01:08:14,850
Not because they were evil...

497
01:08:16,420 --> 01:08:17,210
I know.

498
01:08:18,340 --> 01:08:20,270
It's just sometimes I forget.

499
01:08:24,140 --> 01:08:27,200
The evil you talk about is an obsession.

500
01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:31,290
Obsessions never materialize.
It's a scientific fact.

501
01:08:32,380 --> 01:08:36,290
Anxieties can't trick you into doing things
you would do otherwise.

502
01:08:36,300 --> 01:08:37,610
It's like hypnotism.

503
01:08:37,620 --> 01:08:41,190
You can't be hypnotized into doin
something you wouldn't...

504
01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:44,260
...normally do.
Something against your nature.

505
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:47,740
Do you understand me?

506
01:08:48,500 --> 01:08:49,950
Yeah, I think so.

507
01:08:50,100 --> 01:08:53,090
You think so?
Well, you don't have to understand me; just trust me.

508
01:09:13,180 --> 01:09:14,180
What's this?

509
01:09:14,380 --> 01:09:17,560
It's from the medical officer.
It's a copy of the autopsy report.

510
01:09:21,260 --> 01:09:22,260
The autopsy?

511
01:09:24,660 --> 01:09:26,540
Did they perform an autopsy?

512
01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:29,580
I didn't wanna tell you,
because you weren't feeling well.

513
01:09:32,020 --> 01:09:32,570
Well...

514
01:09:33,060 --> 01:09:34,290
...what did they find?

515
01:09:35,780 --> 01:09:36,930
Nothing that would have any...

516
01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:38,870
...bearing on the case.

517
01:09:40,180 --> 01:09:41,660
The only abnormality...

518
01:09:41,820 --> 01:09:44,390
...in the victim is a slight deformity

519
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:47,410
of the bones in his feet,
of an earlier date.

520
01:09:49,380 --> 01:09:52,000
We do not attach any significance to this.

521
01:10:06,580 --> 01:10:10,020
You aware that you put Nick's shoes on
wrong in this picture?

522
01:10:15,700 --> 01:10:16,630
So, I had.

523
01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:19,840
How weird.

524
01:10:22,660 --> 01:10:24,470
Slip of the mind that day.

525
01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:25,690
I wish.

526
01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:34,700
Herself.

527
01:11:36,650 --> 01:11:37,280
Oh!

528
01:11:38,020 --> 01:11:38,320
Ah!

529
01:11:38,380 --> 01:11:40,980
Bastard!
You're leaving me! Aren't you?

530
01:11:43,140 --> 01:11:44,310
You bastard!

531
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:46,740
You're leaving me!

532
01:11:46,940 --> 01:11:47,630
I'm not.

533
01:11:48,220 --> 01:11:49,230
I'm helping you.

534
01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:51,130
You're leaving me, aren't you?
No, no!

535
01:12:05,580 --> 01:12:07,610
I love you.
I don't believe you!

536
01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:08,080
Aagh!

537
01:12:08,900 --> 01:12:10,100
I don't believe you!

538
01:12:10,480 --> 01:12:12,120
I don't fucking believe you!

539
01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:15,840
Aagh!

540
01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:17,580
Where are you?!

541
01:17:21,540 --> 01:17:22,620
You bastard!

542
01:17:24,220 --> 01:17:25,440
Where are you?!

543
01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:35,980
Where are you?!

544
01:17:50,060 --> 01:17:51,000
Where are you?

545
01:18:00,420 --> 01:18:01,390
Where are you?

546
01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:08,240
You bastard!

547
01:18:19,860 --> 01:18:20,580
Where are you?!

548
01:18:24,280 --> 01:18:25,300
Where are you?!

549
01:18:29,700 --> 01:18:31,060
How dare you leave me?!

550
01:18:42,740 --> 01:18:44,800
You said you wanted to help me!

551
01:18:46,420 --> 01:18:47,700
Where are you?!

552
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:52,500
Where are you?!

553
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:16,180
Where are you?!

554
01:20:21,380 --> 01:20:22,640
You bastard!

555
01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:34,960
Get out!

556
01:21:35,540 --> 01:21:37,520
Get out! You bastard!

557
01:21:38,940 --> 01:21:39,900
Get out!

558
01:21:41,980 --> 01:21:43,020
You bastard!

559
01:21:44,020 --> 01:21:44,880
Get out!

560
01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:48,620
Come out!

561
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:10,300
Get out!

562
01:22:12,540 --> 01:22:13,880
You bastard!

563
01:22:15,620 --> 01:22:16,780
Come out!

564
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:02,280
[Chapter Four: The Three Beggars]

565
01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:18,380
I'm sorry.

566
01:24:04,820 --> 01:24:07,935
You gotta get this thing off... my leg.

567
01:24:30,580 --> 01:24:31,740
I can't find the wrench.

568
01:25:37,140 --> 01:25:38,440
Did you want to kill me?

569
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:40,800
Not yet.

570
01:25:44,420 --> 01:25:46,600
The three beggars aren't here yet.

571
01:25:47,540 --> 01:25:48,760
The three beggars?

572
01:25:51,540 --> 01:25:52,580
What does that mean?

573
01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:56,260
When the three beggars arrive ...

574
01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:58,380
...someone must die.

575
01:26:01,480 --> 01:26:02,600
I see.

576
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:29,360
The crying woman
is a scheming woman.

577
01:26:41,230 --> 01:26:44,180
False in legs.
False in thighs.

578
01:26:46,650 --> 01:26:49,720
False in breasts,
teeth, hair and eyes.

579
01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:43,300
Hold me.

580
01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:49,380
Hold me.

581
01:30:13,500 --> 01:30:16,040
There's no such constellation.

582
01:30:43,160 --> 01:30:44,940
But none of it is any use.

583
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,360
None of it is any use.

584
01:30:51,340 --> 01:30:52,080
No!

585
01:30:52,080 --> 01:30:53,180
No!
No!

586
01:32:47,340 --> 01:32:48,280
Aagh!

587
01:32:48,560 --> 01:32:49,000
Ye-aagh!

588
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:51,640
[Epilogue]

589
01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:57,680
♪ Lascia ch'io pianga from Handel's Rinaldo ♪