0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,513 (lively guitar music) 2 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:22,221 ♪ I'm just a window you can see through ♪ 3 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,722 ♪ You are a rock 4 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,358 ♪ Patient named a tank after you ♪ 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,230 ♪ And leave a pillow there I can lay my head ♪ 6 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,267 ♪ But I must confess I got us in a mess ♪ 7 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,337 ♪ And I know I said this 8 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,272 ♪ Would never ever happen to us ♪ 9 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,308 ♪ I meant it then 10 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:47,346 ♪ Oh please remember 11 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,648 ♪ Days 12 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:53,285 ♪ When I used to chase you 13 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:56,155 ♪ And sing (man yelling) 14 00:00:56,157 --> 00:01:00,092 ♪ I think this is magic 15 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,593 ♪ It's a little bit tragic 16 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,097 ♪ I'd give away everything I have ♪ 17 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:08,534 ♪ Just for a love from you 18 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,403 ♪ And you are amazing 19 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,373 ♪ And maybe just a little bit crazy ♪ 20 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,376 ♪ I'd trade all the gold, it is worth it ♪ 21 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:20,746 ♪ Just to be with you 22 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:25,617 ♪ Just to be with you 23 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,457 ♪ You deserve a much smoother ride ♪ 24 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,460 ♪ You should have a whole big sky ♪ 25 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:39,331 ♪ And every single star that it holds shines in the night ♪ 26 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,702 ♪ I notice lately you've been blue ♪ 27 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:47,739 ♪ And all I can say is every little piece of me ♪ 28 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:52,377 ♪ Loves every little single thing about you ♪ 29 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,747 ♪ Oh please remember 30 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,684 ♪ The days 31 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:02,321 ♪ When I used to chase you 32 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,257 ♪ And sing 33 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,693 ♪ I think this is magic 34 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,529 ♪ Maybe just a little bit tragic ♪ 35 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,699 ♪ I'd give away everything I have ♪ 36 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:17,636 ♪ Just for a little love from you ♪ 37 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,472 ♪ But you are amazing 38 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,475 ♪ And maybe just a little bit crazy ♪ 39 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,645 ♪ I'd trade all the gold in this world babe ♪ 40 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,515 ♪ Just to be with you 41 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:34,386 ♪ Just to be with you 42 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,358 ♪ I think this is magic 43 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,294 ♪ And maybe just a little bit tragic ♪ 44 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,297 ♪ I'd give away everything I have ♪ 45 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:49,334 ♪ Just for a little love from you ♪ 46 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,670 ♪ But you are amazing (woman laughing) 47 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,439 ♪ And maybe just a little bit crazy ♪ 48 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,843 ♪ I'd trade all the gold in this world babe ♪ 49 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,879 ♪ Just to be with you 50 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:03,916 ♪ Just to be with you 51 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:16,795 (woman groaning and crying) 52 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,314 - Oh Daddy, thank you. 53 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,817 I wanted that pony so badly. 54 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:42,721 Sweet little paint. 55 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,928 (phone ringing) 56 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:50,829 Oh. 57 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,473 (gentle music) 58 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,978 (phone buzzing) 59 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,490 (woman clearing throat) 60 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,493 Hello, Mr. Houston. 61 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,331 Oh, he was that all right. 62 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:31,336 I'm fine, I'm really, really doing well over here. 63 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,006 Stronger than ever. 64 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,509 But you know Daddy, I mean, 65 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,578 he always had to have the last say, 66 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:41,813 right up till the end. 67 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,956 You know he insisted on having a chicken fried steak 68 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,925 and a chicken fried chicken for lunch. 69 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,862 It was the damnedest thing. 70 00:04:56,864 --> 00:05:01,366 He wasn't acting off, just a little sentimental. 71 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,302 He got up and he said something nice 72 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,404 about each and every one of us and then... 73 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,541 He just said he was going to a better place 74 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:13,879 and see us on down the road. 75 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,581 We didn't know he meant that way. 76 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:20,085 (man hacking and coughing) 77 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,022 Well, thank you, Mr. Houston, God bless you, too. 78 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,424 Take care, bye. 79 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,496 You're not getting sick on me, are you, Juan? 80 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,965 Juan, are you okay? 81 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,400 - I'm good, JA! 82 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,703 Just mosquitoes, damn mosquitoes everywhere, 83 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:38,937 just fumigating. 84 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,541 - Well, don't breathe the damn Deet. 85 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:46,545 You know it's full of the cancer. 86 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,447 I can't handle losing you too. 87 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,350 - I'm taking every precaution. 88 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,121 (gentle acoustic guitar music) 89 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:10,635 (singing in foreign language) 90 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,380 Jenny! - Hey there, Don Juan. 91 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,415 - Haha, very funny. - I don't get it. 92 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,084 - You're like the greatest guy. 93 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,920 Seriously, when are you gonna find yourself a girlfriend? 94 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,155 Aren't you lonely? 95 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:33,125 - How do you know I don't have one already? 96 00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:34,793 - Juan, do you? 97 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,628 - Look at you, cute as a button and I've yet to hear 98 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,530 or see anything about a boyfriend yet. 99 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,700 - I sort of am 100 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,770 seeing this guy, it's just, I don't know. 101 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,072 Let's just say if certain people found out, 102 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,673 I'd be in deep ca-ca. 103 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,143 He's like forbidden fruit, it sucks. 104 00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:54,579 - I'm sorry, I know it's tough being your age. 105 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,981 - Thanks. 106 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,149 How's Mom today? 107 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,518 - She's doing that wine thingamajig again. 108 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,120 - With the straws, oh man. 109 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,856 - I'm really worried about her this time. 110 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,158 I mean, she didn't see this one coming. 111 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,560 I wanna help her. 112 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,729 I love your mom so much. 113 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,131 I always have. 114 00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:18,170 Well, like a cousin, or a sister. 115 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,740 Or the Virgin of Guadeloupe. (chuckling) 116 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,074 - She's no virgin. 117 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:28,814 It's like you're her best friend, her spiritual leader, 118 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:32,050 her psychoanalyst, and her gardener. 119 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,853 You do more for her than anyone. 120 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,223 I don't know what she'd do without you. 121 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:42,027 - (laughing) Hey Juan, boy, am I glad to see you. 122 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,195 Hey, you give me a hand, brother? 123 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,095 - Sure. 124 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,669 Hello, Jenny darling, how you doing, baby girl? 125 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,870 - I'm good, Pops. 126 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,038 Nice of you to finally come home. 127 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,005 It'll take the heat off me. 128 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,707 - Welcome back, Jimmy. 129 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,708 - Gracias, Juan. 130 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,009 Well, how are we doing? 131 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,678 You two hanging in there? 132 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,612 - Yeah. 133 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,780 - She any better? 134 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,748 - She's still very sad. 135 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,116 She needs you. 136 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,985 - I know. 137 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,988 I know my running off going fishing didn't help, either. 138 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,756 - Not the most compassionate way to console 139 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,024 your grieving wife. 140 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,260 - I didn't just go to go fishing. 141 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,896 Hell, Papo dying like that, it hit me hard, man, 142 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,030 scared the shit out of me. 143 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,934 I mean, how am I gonna fill the shoes of such a, 144 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:27,038 the boots of such an amazing man? 145 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,508 - Those are big boots to fill. 146 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,512 Hey, alligator or snake skin? 147 00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:37,649 - (chuckling) Alligator! - Alligator! 148 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,284 - I fished the Flato Cut on Thursday. 149 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,220 Reds were tailing, drum were running the channel. 150 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,655 The trout were hitting those crazy trolleys 151 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,890 like there was no tomorrow. 152 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,626 I swear, I could feel 153 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,663 Papo was with me the whole damn time, 154 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,765 hootin', hollerin' about my horseshit cast, 155 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,834 tellin' me which fly to put on next. 156 00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,870 It was like I could hear every word he was about to say, 157 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,839 man, I knew what was coming. 158 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,542 It was the best damn day of fishing my entire life. 159 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,178 But it wasn't about the fishing. 160 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,884 I just needed some time to, to say goodbye, 161 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:15,220 my own way. 162 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,690 Can you imagine picking the day you die? 163 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,191 It's the damnedest thing I ever saw. 164 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,195 - He was a blessed and fearless man. 165 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,566 - Hey, give me a beer. 166 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:31,670 Girl, who taught you how to do this, good God. 167 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,170 - Gross. 168 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,807 - Would you rather eat a plate of dog shit 169 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,742 or be six feet under? 170 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,177 - Eat a plate of dog shit. 171 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,979 - Gross. - Exactly. 172 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,847 - That's exactly what he asked me when I was being indicted 173 00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,683 by the Railroad Commission. 174 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,351 He says, 175 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,321 "Would you rather be six feet under or be investigated?" 176 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,889 I said investigated. 177 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,825 And then he says, "Well, would you rather eat a plate 178 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,727 "of dog shit or be investigated?" 179 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,263 I said I guess investigated. 180 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,366 And then he says, 181 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,270 "Well, what the hell you worked up for, boy? 182 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,605 "You're on the right side of the dirt. 183 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,206 "You ain't even eating dog shit." 184 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,176 - What's your point, Dad? 185 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,011 - The point is that where you're at in life 186 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,913 is a matter of perspective. 187 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,615 Hell, compared to being six feet under 188 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,617 or eating a plate of dog shit, everything is fine with me. 189 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,687 That old man taught me about everything I know. 190 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,991 Oil business, cattle business, women, droughts, 191 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,626 raising kids. 192 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,296 Hell, he always treated me like I was someone. 193 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:34,733 Even before I was. 194 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,003 Hey, I'm gonna sneak me in a shower 195 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,038 and then I'm gonna head to Austin, watch the 'Horns play 196 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,140 in lieu of an old-fashioned ass chewing. 197 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,808 I just can't take that right now. 198 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,745 I'm sensitive, Juan. 199 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,380 - Boy, you are living dangerously. 200 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,348 - I'll catch you on the flipside, kiddo. 201 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,083 - Bye, Pops. 202 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,887 (gentle acoustic guitar music) 203 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:08,266 ♪ Doesn't help that I couldn't play ♪ 204 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:13,405 ♪ I made more than a few mistakes ♪ 205 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:16,074 ♪ I know 206 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,275 - I'm lying. 207 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,911 You know damn well we're not separated. 208 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,414 - Well, it was the only justification I could fathom 209 00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:25,083 for him being with an early 30s blonde. 210 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,419 He had flowers and all. 211 00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:30,889 She drove a beautiful blue BMW. 212 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,791 - Early 30s blonde? 213 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:36,428 Look, I don't care who your cousin is on the first floor. 214 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,930 Jimmy loves me and he went fishing. 215 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,232 - Of course he did. 216 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,102 But he did some other things, too. 217 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,904 - Jimmy can hardly get it up. 218 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,473 He's half drunk most of the day and eating the rest. 219 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:52,110 - I am just telling you what people are saying. 220 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,411 We are just so concerned. 221 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,982 - So you're trying to tell me that my husband 222 00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,317 is cheating on me? 223 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,920 You are chock full of it today. 224 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:05,290 Why don't you just tell your cousin 225 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,228 that I've just buried my father 226 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,064 and to mind her own damn business. 227 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:17,502 And you too, you, oh, you just catty bitch. 228 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,071 (woman gasps) 229 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:33,418 (gentle acoustic guitar music) (woman wailing) 230 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,969 - Have you seen my sunglasses? 231 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,170 I swear I'm losing my mind. 232 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,472 I think I threw them in the trash 233 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,340 with my wadded burger bag. 234 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,377 (woman sobbing) 235 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,414 Oh, oh hey, it's okay. 236 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,485 Oh now, it's gonna be all right. 237 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,389 We all miss Papo, baby. 238 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,559 It'll get better with time, you'll see. 239 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:15,794 Hey come on. 240 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,964 You know he wouldn't want to see you this way over him. 241 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,533 You know how he was. 242 00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,802 - It's not about that. 243 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,203 - Okay, that again? 244 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,108 JA, how many times are you gonna beat me up over that? 245 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,945 It was just a fling. 246 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,446 Might have been old, but he still had it in him. 247 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,049 You know how he was. 248 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,118 Well now look, your mama's gone. 249 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,419 He was lonely, so was I. 250 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:46,257 Well, if it makes you feel better, I wasn't even drunk. 251 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,059 - It's not about that either. 252 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,228 - Well, then, what is it? 253 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,597 Holy moly, I haven't seen you this way 254 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,134 since Martha Mayberry took your lead in the senior play. 255 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:59,871 Honey, if it's not your daddy, then what is it? 256 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,506 - It's Jimmy. 257 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,077 - (gasps) Oh my God. 258 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,613 First your mama, then your daddy, now Jimmy? 259 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:12,050 Oh baby, oh my God, what's he got? 260 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,585 I mean, how long, six months? 261 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:15,086 Three? One? 262 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:19,123 Oh baby, I'm so sorry. - Oh God! 263 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:22,861 - But, but, but he looks so healthy. 264 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,195 I don't know... 265 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:27,332 - He's not dying, he's having an affair. 266 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:31,870 - Jimmy, oh there is no way. 267 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,638 - Yes there is. 268 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:38,376 According to your nosy Junior League friend Elaine Narswell. 269 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:42,480 Oh, he was shacked up with some blonde at Pines Landing. 270 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,450 He said he was gonna go down there to go fishing. 271 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,486 Well, evidently he just went on that little woman 272 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,422 until he caught something real fishy. 273 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,459 - Baby, you know what, you cared more about that damn house 274 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:55,393 than your own husband. 275 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:59,397 When's the last time you gave him a blowjob? 276 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,432 (woman sputtering) 277 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:05,103 - God, you have the mouth of a drunken roughneck. 278 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,304 - You don't remember? 279 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,943 Oh my God, you're sitting here crying your eyes out 280 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,379 about your man sleeping with another woman 281 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,447 and you can't remember the last time 282 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,384 you gave him a blowjob? 283 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:22,387 What do you care if he's getting some somewhere else? 284 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,423 Okay, you know what, this is a waste of my time. 285 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,958 I'm outta here. 286 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,960 - I'm not frigid. 287 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,062 Don't you remember Jamaica? 288 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,365 - Did you just say Jamaica? 289 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,034 Lord, how old are we? 290 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,538 That was 25 years ago. 291 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,374 You gave it up the first night to two strangers at once 292 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,476 while you're making Jimmy wait for some. 293 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,112 Now he's waiting again. 294 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:52,216 That is a lifetime of sexual manipulation there, sweetheart. 295 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,718 - How would you know? 296 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,455 - Oh honey, listen to me, men are simple and easy. 297 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,958 Fill their belly and fill your britches, girlfriend. 298 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,226 That's how you keep a man. 299 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,662 Hell, your mama taught me that one. 300 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:08,132 More goodwill has been done on this earth 301 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,102 by a simple blowjob than anything else. 302 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,470 These lips do not lie! 303 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,974 - Jamaica, blowjobs, I want in on this. 304 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,142 Hey Aunt Sallie. - Hey babe. 305 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,477 - Where do I sign up? - Oh. 306 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,647 - Oh, let's take a selfie. - Oh, sure thing. 307 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,316 - That's cute. - Totally. 308 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,151 - I'll put it on my Instagram. - Tag me. 309 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,454 - So, what are y'all talking about? 310 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,422 - About a movie I saw. 311 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,324 - Sounds like my kind of movie. 312 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,293 I've never been to Jamaica, but blowjobs, 313 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,195 on the other hand, I know what you mean. 314 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,330 Guys will do anything for them. 315 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,500 - Jenny, watch your mouth. 316 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,303 - While I'm giving a blowjob, like in the mirror? 317 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,771 Sounds hot. 318 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,040 I bet guys would go hog wild when it comes to that. 319 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,310 - When it comes to that, ha! 320 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,079 Your daughter is a hoot! 321 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,615 - All that I need is my floozie friend being 322 00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:01,386 the guiding light for my sweet and innocent little baby. 323 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,754 - Have y'all seen Anthony? - Huh uh. 324 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,322 - Did he come back yet? - Mm-mm. 325 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,157 - Well, let him know I'm looking for him. 326 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,759 - Okay. 327 00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:11,162 - And if you need any blowjob lessons, let me know. 328 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,764 - Jenny! 329 00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:15,199 - See, even your daughter knows the importance 330 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,068 of a proper blowjob. 331 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:21,339 - I have not had a decent conversation with her in months. 332 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,707 You've tainted her. 333 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,076 She hates me. 334 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:28,279 - I'm just trying to keep her in touch with, 335 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,349 well, with her feminine emotions. 336 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,084 I think somebody has to. 337 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:37,221 - More like in touch with every boy's privates. 338 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,557 - Okay, don't snap my garters, honey. 339 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,393 At least when I get a man, I keep him till I'm finished. 340 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,761 - Shut up. 341 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,197 - Jimmy always did love you. 342 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,465 Don't ask me why. 343 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,402 Oh hell, it's probably so he could hang out with Papo. 344 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:56,441 - So low you have to look up to see hell. 345 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,142 - That was a good one. 346 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:01,212 - I might not have shown him lovin' like you would. 347 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,215 But I love him. 348 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,484 I do. 349 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,487 I love him. 350 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,122 - I know you do. 351 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:14,625 I'm sorry, baby, I shouldn't have said that. 352 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,360 It's just that, you know, sometimes I don't think 353 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,663 you realize how good you got it. 354 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:22,633 I mean, you got a beautiful family, a big old house. 355 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,770 And Jenny, well, she's growing up fast. 356 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,338 That's what little girls do. 357 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,476 - I'm so, so sorry, senora. 358 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,578 I should have come and told you myself. 359 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,580 I just didn't know what to do. 360 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,783 I didn't think Sallie was going to say anything. 361 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,719 - What do you mean, Juan? 362 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,823 - The only thing I really know is just 363 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,424 about the pregnancy test in the trash. 364 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,359 - Whose trash? 365 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,329 - Jenny's trash? 366 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,431 - Sallie, what do you know about this? 367 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,433 - I haven't the slightest. - Sallie? 368 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,668 - I was just looking for my glasses. 369 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,737 - Oh my God Juan. 370 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,508 - Well, it was probably broken. 371 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,343 - Oh come on, Juan. 372 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,512 - It was probably the neighbor's, that little slut. 373 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,346 - Oh come on, Juan. 374 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,514 - I don't know. 375 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,850 It was a positive pregnancy test. 376 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,686 That's all I know, I swear. 377 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:20,558 - Oh my God I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. 378 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,261 My own daughter isn't confiding in me? 379 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,197 Oh my God I am losing my mind. 380 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:29,367 No, I am losing my mind. 381 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,903 First those damn barking dogs at the new house. 382 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:33,738 I can't sleep for days. 383 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,439 Then the last lunch, 384 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,476 and Papo doesn't even tell me he's dying. 385 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:43,247 And then the fucking Jimmy fucking hookers and now, 386 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:46,350 oh yeah, Jenny is pregnant? 387 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,818 Are you kidding me? 388 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:52,690 Oh my God, oh my life is nothing but a shitstorm of liars, 389 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,393 whores, and addicts. 390 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,361 - Take a few deep breaths, senora. 391 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,863 - That's a good idea. - Come on, take a deep breath. 392 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,399 - I'm gonna get you some water, okay? 393 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,984 - That's a good idea. - My God, Juan, 394 00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,568 you are the only one I can count on. 395 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:11,943 - Um... 396 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,248 What about me? 397 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,749 You know what your problem is? 398 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,419 You never appreciate those around you. 399 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,853 I've had enough. 400 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,957 I am out of here, Grandma. - No you're not going anywhere 401 00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,960 until you tell me that you know. 402 00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:30,695 - I can't repeat it. 403 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:35,266 - You (laughing) never had any problem repeating anything 404 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,935 you have ever thought, heard, 405 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:41,305 conceived, contrived, or hallucinated. 406 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,574 - Oh. - So you're gonna tell me 407 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,710 what you know right now, 408 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:49,714 or I'm gonna banish contact with you for two years. 409 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:54,585 - (laughs) Oh Lord, that was the stupidest thing 410 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:56,287 you ever did. 411 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,756 You know what, go ahead, banish me. 412 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,258 See ya in two years. 413 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,859 - Stop! - What? 414 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,494 - Just tell me what you know! 415 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,430 - Apologize. 416 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,299 - For what? 417 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,635 - For your stupid banishing crap. 418 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,672 Take your tits out of the dirt 419 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:18,943 and start celebrating life for the miracle it is. 420 00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,013 What would Papo say? 421 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,448 All this bellyaching. 422 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,951 Hell, what would your mama do? 423 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,419 You know what she'd say? 424 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,521 She'd say, "Take your lumps and move on." 425 00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:38,896 - I'll apologize if you just tell me what you heard. 426 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:43,868 - Deal. 427 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:50,074 (both women stammering) 428 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,614 - I'm sorry. - Aw, you did it, 429 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,582 good job, sweetie! 430 00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,584 Oh, that wasn't so bad, was it? 431 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:02,553 It kinda felt good, didn't it? 432 00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:05,856 You know, it's kinda cleansing to sort of wrap your arms 433 00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,559 around your failures, isn't it? 434 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:10,928 - It's just like you, just give you a small victory 435 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,597 and there you are just basking in the sun, 436 00:22:13,599 --> 00:22:14,699 glowing in your win. 437 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,000 It's okay, Sallie. 438 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,735 What is it? 439 00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:23,074 - Oh, well, I don't think it's true. 440 00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:26,544 - I don't care true or not, I need to know now, so I can-- 441 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:27,845 - But it's just hearsay! - I don't care 442 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,347 if it's hearsay, tell me know, 443 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,415 I don't wanna know next week or next month. 444 00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:33,517 - Jenny and Anthony are secretly dating. 445 00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:37,688 - Jenny 446 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:40,458 and Anthony? 447 00:22:43,996 --> 00:22:46,997 No, they're brother and sister! 448 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:50,000 - Well, technically stepbrother and stepsister. 449 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,736 They're not genetically related. 450 00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:54,505 So hey, if you want to look on the bright side of this, 451 00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:56,907 it could make for a lovely small wedding. 452 00:22:56,909 --> 00:23:00,611 - Oh my God, it's my fault. 453 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:03,781 I let them take baths together when they were kids. 454 00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,616 Oh my God, no, they wouldn't. 455 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,551 They know it would kill me. 456 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,587 What will people say? 457 00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:11,455 - Oh, a lot. 458 00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:13,758 - Oh my God, this isn't real, this isn't true, 459 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,093 this must be a dream. (laughs) 460 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:21,732 Yeah, this is a dream, this is a dream, oh my God, 461 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,101 this is just a dream. 462 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:26,804 This isn't a dream, this is a nightmare. 463 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,606 This is a nightmare that I need to wake up from. 464 00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:30,508 - Okay, well, wake up, wake up, wake up! 465 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:34,445 Wake up! - No, you made up this gossip. 466 00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:35,146 - Listen to me. 467 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,650 Debra Perkins' daughter Baker is a Kappa 468 00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:40,818 in Jenny's pledge class. 469 00:23:42,155 --> 00:23:44,789 They share a bathroom and she overheard her 470 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,891 telling her roommate about how, um, 471 00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,826 she's in love with Anthony. 472 00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:52,096 How it's like he's forbidden fruit. 473 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:53,597 - Forbidden fruit? 474 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,433 - She made her promise to keep it a secret. 475 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,601 - Keep it a secret? 476 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:58,536 - Well, you know how secrets travel in the Kappa house. 477 00:23:58,538 --> 00:24:00,004 - Oh my God, the Kappa house. 478 00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:01,972 - Probably in Oklahoma by now. 479 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:03,541 - What's in Oklahoma? 480 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:04,442 - Oh! 481 00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,845 - Hey Sallie, how you doing? - Hey babe, how you doing? 482 00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:09,513 - You're getting fit. 483 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,102 - Jeanne Anne? 484 00:24:15,103 --> 00:24:16,085 I'm sorry, I know you're mad, 485 00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:19,957 but I just had to get away, clear my mind. 486 00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:26,530 I had the most amazing fishing trip of my life. 487 00:24:26,532 --> 00:24:29,233 Papo was there, he brought me luck. 488 00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,503 This is probably bad timing, too, 489 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,738 but would y'all like to come with me to Austin, 490 00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,240 watch the 'Horns play KSU? 491 00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:37,975 I got two extra tickets, it's gonna be a good game. 492 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:38,876 - No. 493 00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:41,812 - Sallie, what do you say? 494 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,048 - Oh, I've got all the entertainment I can handle 495 00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:46,150 right here, but you go on, 496 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,585 have yourself a good time at that game. 497 00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:49,553 - Well, I would invite Jenny or Anthony, 498 00:24:49,555 --> 00:24:50,988 but I can't find them anywhere. 499 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,857 You know those two, probably off messing around 500 00:24:52,859 --> 00:24:54,525 with each other, getting into trouble. 501 00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,827 Juan, 'Horns game? - Yeah, man! 502 00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:59,196 - Juan doesn't wanna go, he has work to do. 503 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,232 - Found you a bottle of Tito's. 504 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:03,000 You are a gentleman and a saint. 505 00:25:04,971 --> 00:25:06,604 - Guess I have more sweeping to do. 506 00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:10,241 - Come on, girls, join me tonight. 507 00:25:10,243 --> 00:25:12,042 We'll have some fun, shit, 508 00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,944 I'm just blowing off a little steam. 509 00:25:15,581 --> 00:25:16,814 All right, I tried. 510 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,217 Hate to run, but if I'm gonna make the tipoff. 511 00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:21,852 - Drive safe, babe. 512 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:25,956 - Can you believe him? 513 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:27,958 "Come on, girls, go to the 'Horns game. 514 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,594 "I'm just gonna blow off some team." 515 00:25:30,596 --> 00:25:32,596 - Well, you need to be home with him. 516 00:25:32,598 --> 00:25:35,599 Well damn, if he's lying, boy is he good. 517 00:25:35,601 --> 00:25:37,034 Hell, he's almost as good as me. 518 00:25:38,604 --> 00:25:41,605 You know, babe, don't you worry about all this. 519 00:25:41,607 --> 00:25:43,073 It's all gonna be fine. 520 00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:46,310 Look, you got your health, you got your friends. 521 00:25:46,312 --> 00:25:50,080 - Hey Mama, hey Aunt Sallie. - Hey babe. 522 00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:51,782 - Hey Sallie. - Hey. 523 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,985 - You okay? 524 00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:56,220 - Hey, how was the coast? 525 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:58,155 I heard you went down there with Dad. 526 00:25:58,156 --> 00:26:00,089 - Oh, no hon, not me, I've been right here. 527 00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:01,325 - That's strange. 528 00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:02,960 My friend Tiger said he saw a hot blonde 529 00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:04,028 leaving the house with Dad. 530 00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:06,030 I just figured it was you. 531 00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:08,032 - No, must've been, 532 00:26:08,034 --> 00:26:11,335 I guess a neighbor or something. 533 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,571 - Yeah, a hot neighbor I don't know about. 534 00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,172 - Oh (chuckles) good point. 535 00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:20,311 So, how are you doing, Anthony? 536 00:26:20,313 --> 00:26:22,780 - I'm missing Papo, so used to seeing him 537 00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:24,782 out at the ranch. 538 00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:28,085 It's kinda like he's still there. 539 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:32,289 In another pasture, better place you know. 540 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:34,291 Dad, Tiger and I, we're going out there tomorrow 541 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:35,225 to go hunting. 542 00:26:36,295 --> 00:26:38,128 - Okay, now who is this Tiger? 543 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,798 - Tiger's my fraternity brother. 544 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,133 Two hoots and a holler, true romantic, 545 00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,035 like myself. - Oh. 546 00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:49,106 - How you hanging in there, JA? 547 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:51,675 - I'm about at my wits' end, son. 548 00:26:51,677 --> 00:26:53,911 - I know how you feel. 549 00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:55,179 I mean, I sorta do. 550 00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:59,950 I just can't imagine losing you or dad 551 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,119 or Jenny, so... 552 00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:11,395 - It's, it's all right son. 553 00:27:11,397 --> 00:27:14,865 All we can do is just love each other while we're here. 554 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:16,233 That's just all we can do. 555 00:27:17,703 --> 00:27:18,402 - (sobs) Yeah. 556 00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:23,207 Hey, Aunt Sallie, close your eyes for me, will you? 557 00:27:23,209 --> 00:27:24,375 - Oh, sure thing, babe. 558 00:27:24,377 --> 00:27:25,843 - Sorry you had to see that. 559 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:29,413 You know, JA, 560 00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:36,320 I heard when somebody dies, they only die if you let them, 561 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,090 and that you can keep them alive inside of you, 562 00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:42,826 and that you can ask them questions. 563 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:46,430 I know this might sound little weird, 564 00:27:46,432 --> 00:27:49,266 but I've been asking Papo a lot of questions lately, 565 00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:54,271 about like relationships and like love and stuff 566 00:27:54,273 --> 00:27:56,273 and I think I know what his answers are. 567 00:27:57,810 --> 00:27:59,343 - I don't think that's weird at all, babe. 568 00:28:00,813 --> 00:28:02,813 I think you keep right on doing that. 569 00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:04,848 I bet your Papo's tickled pink. 570 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,150 - I'll bet he is. 571 00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:11,121 Love just tears you up, doesn't it? 572 00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:14,692 Especially the love you can't have. 573 00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:15,926 I love you, JA. 574 00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:17,294 - I love you, son. 575 00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:20,130 - And I love you, Aunt Sallie. 576 00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:22,366 - Oh, I love you, big boy. 577 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:24,334 - And if you see Dad, just tell him I love him. 578 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,272 (speaking in a foreign language) 579 00:28:28,274 --> 00:28:31,375 And Jenny, you know, she's such a handful, but, 580 00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:32,309 tell her I love her. 581 00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:38,015 - Honey, that is one sweet boy you've got there. 582 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:40,851 Just so full of love. 583 00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:44,855 - Sallie Mae, I'm exhausted. - I know. 584 00:28:44,857 --> 00:28:47,991 - I'm going to bed and then I'm getting up in the morning 585 00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:50,294 and I'm going to church. 586 00:28:50,296 --> 00:28:51,995 - Okay. 587 00:28:51,997 --> 00:28:55,966 - I feel like I have been ridden hard and put up wet. 588 00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:57,034 - All right. 589 00:28:58,738 --> 00:28:59,436 - Lord. 590 00:29:01,974 --> 00:29:05,175 (acoustic guitar music) 591 00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:10,114 - She's a handful, oh Lord. 592 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,450 Ugh. 593 00:29:13,452 --> 00:29:16,487 (lively guitar music) 594 00:29:51,924 --> 00:29:55,125 - What was all that with Jenny's trash? 595 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,027 - Well, if you stop attacking me every time 596 00:29:57,029 --> 00:29:59,530 I bend over in Jenny's bedroom. 597 00:29:59,532 --> 00:30:02,232 - Oh, is that how it happens, huh? 598 00:30:04,069 --> 00:30:07,337 We're not moving in together until you tell her. 599 00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,039 - She's still all stressed out. 600 00:30:09,041 --> 00:30:10,908 It's just, it's not the right time. 601 00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:13,911 - It's never gonna be the right time, honey. 602 00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,012 And I love you, Juan. 603 00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:18,916 And I know she suspects something 604 00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,918 ever since I talked you into joining me 605 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,220 on the garden club board. 606 00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,389 Somewhere in that brain of hers, 607 00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:28,192 she knows you've been trimming my bush. (squeals) 608 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:29,560 - Sallie. 609 00:30:29,562 --> 00:30:31,261 - Talk to me in Spanish, mi amor. 610 00:30:32,565 --> 00:30:35,299 You know I love you talking to me in Spanish. 611 00:30:38,037 --> 00:30:42,172 (speaking in a foreign language) 612 00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:44,975 (Sallie moaning) 613 00:30:58,090 --> 00:30:58,889 - Oh Juan! 614 00:30:59,992 --> 00:31:03,227 (lively guitar music) 615 00:31:20,479 --> 00:31:23,480 - Oh, how hard can it be? 616 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:30,354 Juan, can you come on inside, please? 617 00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:39,663 - Morning, JA, what can I do for you? 618 00:31:39,665 --> 00:31:42,599 - You'd help me do just about anything, wouldn't you, Juan? 619 00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:44,301 - Well, yes, senora. 620 00:31:44,303 --> 00:31:48,939 - I mean, if I asked you to help me to do something, 621 00:31:49,642 --> 00:31:53,477 say, risky, uh, risque, 622 00:31:56,048 --> 00:31:58,482 you wouldn't judge me, would you, Juan? 623 00:31:58,484 --> 00:31:59,917 - I would never judge you. 624 00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:01,518 - What's the best way to kill a man? 625 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,220 - I might judge that. 626 00:32:03,222 --> 00:32:07,524 - No, I mean the best way to kill a man and not get caught. 627 00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:10,060 I wouldn't wanna do that jail thing, you know, 628 00:32:10,062 --> 00:32:11,328 - No doubt about that. 629 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:13,997 I don't think they serve lattes and croissants 630 00:32:13,999 --> 00:32:15,499 in the clink, JA. 631 00:32:15,501 --> 00:32:17,668 - Well, I've been looking on the internet and I just, 632 00:32:17,670 --> 00:32:19,703 I can't find what I'm looking for. 633 00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,124 - Who do you wanna kill? 634 00:32:24,125 --> 00:32:25,541 - Let's just say it's hypothetical. 635 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:28,712 - Well, I think it does matter. 636 00:32:28,714 --> 00:32:31,114 I've seen you shoot a deer at 400 yards. 637 00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:32,382 I know you're capable. 638 00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:35,552 - Look, I went to church and I prayed about it. 639 00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:37,988 - Good. - And then I thought. 640 00:32:39,224 --> 00:32:42,192 - I'm going Old Testament. 641 00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:44,428 I am so tired of crying all the time 642 00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,663 and feeling sorry for myself. 643 00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:48,498 I'm getting out of my self pity 644 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,434 and into pitying the son of a bitch 645 00:32:50,436 --> 00:32:52,135 who makes me look like a fool. 646 00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:55,238 - Who are you talking about? 647 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,975 - It's that son of a bitch Jimmy. 648 00:32:57,977 --> 00:32:59,476 - El senor? 649 00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:01,178 - Yes, he's been cheating on me down at the coast 650 00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:04,314 and making me look like a fool. 651 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,650 Oh yeah, then he just comes back in here 652 00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:11,121 like he's had a fresh egg, just strutting like a peacock. 653 00:33:11,123 --> 00:33:12,322 Well, I've had it. 654 00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:16,526 I was gonna take a knife to him. 655 00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:18,128 But then I thought, no, that's too bloody. 656 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:20,430 I don't have the stomach for that. 657 00:33:20,432 --> 00:33:23,734 So then I thought, oh, the deer rifle. 658 00:33:23,736 --> 00:33:25,302 But they'd just trace the bullet. 659 00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:29,306 Juan, we need to come up with a good poison, 660 00:33:29,308 --> 00:33:31,641 like that doctor from Houston who poisoned 661 00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:32,676 his wife's eclairs. 662 00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:34,144 I think he got away with it. 663 00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,580 No investigation, I can't do a trial. 664 00:33:36,582 --> 00:33:37,547 Will you help me, Juan? 665 00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,452 - JA, you don't mean that. 666 00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:45,355 Jimmy loves you very much. 667 00:33:46,592 --> 00:33:49,159 - The hell that I don't. 668 00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,461 - I'm on your side, please JA. 669 00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:55,465 This is all a big misunderstanding. 670 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:57,768 Have you looked in the freezer? 671 00:33:57,770 --> 00:34:00,537 He caught those fish the old-fashioned way, 672 00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:01,605 with a rod and reel. 673 00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:06,376 - Juan, he probably bought them off of Porter Rand's Seafood 674 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,078 along with the sushi. 675 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:12,149 He is a grade A later and he will meet his wrath. 676 00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:15,052 - You'd be about the only person I know 677 00:34:15,054 --> 00:34:16,686 who'd go to church and come back 678 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:19,089 with wrath and murder on your mind. 679 00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:21,058 You're lucky Juan and I care enough about you 680 00:34:21,060 --> 00:34:23,693 to keep you from doing something stupid, stupid. 681 00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:25,829 - You better watch your mouth, mouth. 682 00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,264 - What you gonna do honey, 683 00:34:27,266 --> 00:34:29,599 you gonna murder him in cold blood? 684 00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:32,669 Maybe cut him up and throw him to the fish? 685 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:35,405 - Now that's an idea. 686 00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,541 You're not as useless as I thought you were. 687 00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:41,812 - Listen here, Rambo, there ain't a man on this planet 688 00:34:41,814 --> 00:34:44,581 worth the aggravation of murder. 689 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,516 You know what you need? 690 00:34:46,518 --> 00:34:48,385 You need a good old fashioned sun-in. 691 00:34:48,387 --> 00:34:49,686 - Good point. 692 00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:51,088 - Remember what Papo used to always say? 693 00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:53,090 If you lay it out in the sun-- 694 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,858 - [Both] Don't smell so bad. 695 00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:57,461 - Kills the mildew, dries it up. 696 00:34:57,463 --> 00:35:00,597 You need to just lay it all out for the whole family to see. 697 00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:02,165 You know what else you need? 698 00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:03,433 A bloody Mary. 699 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,635 Hell, we all do, it's Sunday. 700 00:35:05,637 --> 00:35:08,271 Juan, would you be a doll and make us one 701 00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:10,173 and make them strong? 702 00:35:10,175 --> 00:35:11,208 - Yes, ma'am. 703 00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:19,282 - I went to church and I prayed for the strength 704 00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:21,485 to forgive him. 705 00:35:21,487 --> 00:35:26,356 And then I prayed for the strength to smite him dead. 706 00:35:28,127 --> 00:35:31,761 I have killed, field dressed, and taken apart 707 00:35:31,763 --> 00:35:32,762 more damn animals. 708 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:35,365 Parts is parts. 709 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:40,237 - Jeanne Anne, when is the last time you gave Jimmy a hug? 710 00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:45,509 Just a good and simple goddamn hug? 711 00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:50,881 - Maybe I haven't been the best wife. 712 00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:59,222 Maybe I shoulda gone huntin' and fishin' 713 00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:03,293 and to some of those ball games. 714 00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:08,165 - You can fix all of this, just hug the bastard. 715 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:13,803 Tell him you love him, to his face. 716 00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:15,705 Ask him how his day was. 717 00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:19,676 Don't bitch at him first thing in the morning. 718 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,344 - Nobody likes to be nagged, Mom. 719 00:36:21,346 --> 00:36:22,245 It's uncouth. 720 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,247 - Uncouth? 721 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:31,688 What am I going to do? 722 00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:36,193 - Well, first of all, you're not gonna kill Jimmy. 723 00:36:36,195 --> 00:36:38,295 - No, no, no, no. 724 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:43,400 I mean, what am I gonna cook for dinner? 725 00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:46,469 - I don't know, just cook that damn fish Jimmy caught. 726 00:36:46,471 --> 00:36:48,572 - I'm not cooking adultress fish. 727 00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:53,476 - All right, fine, then enchiladas, I'll help. 728 00:36:53,478 --> 00:36:56,246 - That's it, I'm cooking enchiladas. 729 00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:58,348 - Besides, I need to keep an eye on you. 730 00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:03,620 - Boy is that ranch dry. 731 00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:05,956 I ain't never seen it like this, like the damn '50s. 732 00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,624 The cows are all starvin'. 733 00:37:07,626 --> 00:37:09,759 I'm gonna lose all my damn breeding stock. 734 00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:12,562 Cows are eating cactus, stones and all, poor bastards. 735 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:13,730 Can you imagine what that feels like 736 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:14,798 comin' out the other end? 737 00:37:15,867 --> 00:37:17,567 Prickly situation. 738 00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:18,768 - Why are you covered in blood? 739 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:21,504 And what the hell is that around your neck? 740 00:37:21,506 --> 00:37:23,373 - Well, it's pig blood, Sallie Mae. 741 00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:24,774 That there, that's some guts on my boot. 742 00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:26,409 I shot a pig. 743 00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:28,245 Yeah, I was out with the boys there huntin' 744 00:37:28,247 --> 00:37:31,348 and they wanted a porker for the luau at the frat house. 745 00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:33,550 So I killed one and I cleaned it for them. 746 00:37:33,552 --> 00:37:36,286 And then all them damn fleas jumped off that damn pig 747 00:37:36,288 --> 00:37:39,422 onto me, so I got me a Hartz flea collar, 748 00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:41,358 try to get them off me. 749 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,593 - Don't you bring any damn fleas into my house. 750 00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:44,828 - They're already off me. 751 00:37:44,830 --> 00:37:46,296 The last one came off about 4:10. 752 00:37:46,298 --> 00:37:50,834 Little fuckers are scrambling all over the Suburban now. 753 00:37:50,836 --> 00:37:52,969 Hell, I shot right through the ear hole. 754 00:37:52,971 --> 00:37:55,939 You know how hard it is to take down a pig with one shot? 755 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,375 - I can imagine, that sounds like quite a feat. 756 00:37:58,377 --> 00:37:59,643 You should be very proud. 757 00:37:59,645 --> 00:38:01,411 - Oh yes. - Hey Pops, how's the ranch? 758 00:38:01,413 --> 00:38:03,580 - Oh, it's drier than a popcorn fart. 759 00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:05,482 Makes me thirsty just thinking about it. 760 00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:07,384 - Gross, where's Anthony? 761 00:38:07,386 --> 00:38:08,985 Is he with Tiger? 762 00:38:08,987 --> 00:38:10,387 - I don't know. 763 00:38:10,389 --> 00:38:11,855 Juan, boy, you read my mind, man. 764 00:38:11,857 --> 00:38:13,323 How do you do that? 765 00:38:13,325 --> 00:38:14,891 You scare the shit out of me sometimes. 766 00:38:14,893 --> 00:38:16,960 - (laughs) Salud. - Salud. 767 00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:19,496 - Salud. (screams) 768 00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:23,967 - Get away from me you freak! (snake rattling) 769 00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:26,002 - You all see the rattler on that? 770 00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:29,005 - What the hell are you doing 771 00:38:29,007 --> 00:38:30,507 bringing a live rattlesnake into the house? 772 00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:31,975 Would you go get them under control 773 00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:34,344 before someone gets bit? 774 00:38:34,346 --> 00:38:35,812 What kind of ranch manager does that? 775 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,848 Papo would be ashamed. 776 00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:48,925 - You know Jeanne Anne, you don't always have to be 777 00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:50,960 such a glorified bitch. 778 00:38:50,962 --> 00:38:53,363 They were just having some fun. 779 00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:56,333 - What did he just call me? 780 00:38:56,335 --> 00:38:57,033 - Bitch. 781 00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:00,103 - What an asshole! 782 00:39:00,105 --> 00:39:04,841 Oh my God, that man makes me so mad. 783 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,876 I am gonna show him! 784 00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:07,777 - JA, hey! 785 00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:10,280 - Jeanne Anne, what are you doing? 786 00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:11,514 You don't think she'd actually do something 787 00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:12,748 with that gun, do you? 788 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:14,718 I mean, (gunshots firing). 789 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,419 Oh my God! 790 00:39:16,421 --> 00:39:18,121 - She shot him! (gunshots firing) 791 00:39:18,123 --> 00:39:20,357 - Oh my God, JA! 792 00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:23,460 - Geez, I didn't think you were gonna take it so hard. 793 00:39:23,462 --> 00:39:24,894 - What are you talking about? 794 00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:26,596 Your mama killed his daddy 795 00:39:26,598 --> 00:39:28,631 and you don't think he's gonna take it hard? 796 00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:30,433 What is wrong with you, child? 797 00:39:30,435 --> 00:39:32,602 - What are you talking about, Aunt Sallie? 798 00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:34,471 - Sallie Mae, you're getting crazier by the minute. 799 00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:35,872 - No, no, no, no, she shot him. 800 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,407 - Jimmy raised him like his own. 801 00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:39,042 Why would you shoot him? 802 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:41,611 - Jimmy! You're not dead! 803 00:39:41,613 --> 00:39:43,480 - No, I didn't kill him. 804 00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:45,949 I killed that little slithery bastard. 805 00:39:45,951 --> 00:39:47,784 - Damn sure did, deader than a doornail. 806 00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:49,085 Pretty good shooting, too. 807 00:39:49,087 --> 00:39:50,887 - Killed my snake, man. 808 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:52,589 - Damn right I did. 809 00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:55,759 Papo always said the only good rattlesnake is a dead one. 810 00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:57,894 - Yeah, well, I was gonna take that snake 811 00:39:57,896 --> 00:40:01,064 down to the frat house and get even with Jethro Tull, 812 00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,732 'cause he stuck a scorpion in my bed 813 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:06,002 and the damn thing stung on my on my left sac. 814 00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,837 It swelled up to the size of a cantaloupe 815 00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:09,506 and looked black. 816 00:40:09,508 --> 00:40:10,807 And LuAnn Reed wouldn't have anything to do with me 817 00:40:10,809 --> 00:40:13,810 and I was this close, and you ruined it, Jenny. 818 00:40:13,812 --> 00:40:15,645 So I'm not talking to you anymore. 819 00:40:15,647 --> 00:40:17,881 - Good, I hope you don't if you're gonna chase me around 820 00:40:17,883 --> 00:40:19,783 laughing like a dumb fucking redneck. 821 00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:23,887 - Jenny, not, and the whole thing was a, 822 00:40:23,889 --> 00:40:25,588 never mind. 823 00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:28,158 Goddammit Dad, I can't believe how cruel she is. 824 00:40:30,896 --> 00:40:33,096 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 825 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:35,832 - These damn kids are crazier than a den of wildcats. 826 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:39,636 I'm surrounded by screwballs, all led by the queen bee. 827 00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:42,672 - What the hell was that? 828 00:40:43,809 --> 00:40:45,508 My head's about spun off! 829 00:40:47,012 --> 00:40:49,479 Hell, so much for a relaxing Sunday meal, damn! 830 00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:53,016 - I have work to do. 831 00:40:54,186 --> 00:40:55,185 - Good Lord. 832 00:40:57,456 --> 00:40:59,823 Looks like the wedding's off between those two. 833 00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:03,860 Damn, it's hard to keep up with all the trauma in your life. 834 00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:05,795 You know you had me going there? 835 00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:08,131 I thought you really took him out. 836 00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:09,799 - I don't have the heart, 837 00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:11,968 for prison that is. 838 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:13,703 - Yeah, well, who would? 839 00:41:13,705 --> 00:41:15,472 Definitely not your kind of place. 840 00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:18,808 You never did look good in orange, 841 00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:22,245 stripes, prints, any kind of pastels. 842 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,181 Oh hell, let's get some air, come on. 843 00:41:26,218 --> 00:41:28,551 You know baby, I've been thinking about this. 844 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:31,855 Maybe it is time you two went your separate ways. 845 00:41:31,857 --> 00:41:34,591 I mean, you always did have problems with men. 846 00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:38,161 Maybe it's time you started batting for the other time. 847 00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:40,630 I mean, this isn't the '50s darling. 848 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:41,531 Everybody's doing it. 849 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:45,735 - I don't care who's doing what, I could care less. 850 00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:49,873 Oh hell, speaking of everybody doing it. 851 00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:51,174 Sallie Mae... 852 00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:01,184 Oh! - Come on. 853 00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,888 - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 854 00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:07,724 - Oh hell, I've got it. 855 00:42:07,726 --> 00:42:09,993 We can take out an ad in the Austin Chronicles. 856 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:14,731 Ragin' beauty in her 50s. 857 00:42:14,733 --> 00:42:16,566 - Early 50s. 858 00:42:16,568 --> 00:42:18,167 - Early 50s, okay. 859 00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:21,871 Enjoys bein' in church, books, art, 860 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,940 Fleetwood Mac. - KD Lang. 861 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:25,141 - Oh, and KD Lang. 862 00:42:26,545 --> 00:42:29,812 Travel, cookin', kids grown. 863 00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:34,751 Seeking pleasant, pretty lipstick lesbian. 864 00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:37,620 Must be independent but caring. 865 00:42:38,590 --> 00:42:41,057 - Oh, no beer gut. (laughs) 866 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:41,991 - And no beer gut. 867 00:42:43,762 --> 00:42:47,964 Somebody who's gonna listen to your needs. 868 00:42:47,966 --> 00:42:50,667 Somebody to make you feel appreciated. 869 00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:54,637 Somebody in tune with maybe your emotional rhythms. 870 00:42:56,041 --> 00:42:58,074 - Girl, are you hitting on me? 871 00:42:58,076 --> 00:42:59,642 - Well, I'm just trying to help honey. 872 00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:01,177 - You have no boundaries. 873 00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:03,613 - Well, that doesn't make me a bad person. 874 00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:05,348 - First of all, I'm happy 875 00:43:05,350 --> 00:43:08,318 with my present sexual orientation, thank you. 876 00:43:09,821 --> 00:43:13,790 Secondly, if I was gonna dabble on the other side 877 00:43:13,792 --> 00:43:15,225 of the road, girl-- - What? 878 00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:16,659 - It's not gonna be with you. 879 00:43:16,661 --> 00:43:18,861 And thirdly, I've got my gazpacho to make 880 00:43:18,863 --> 00:43:20,797 and it's not gonna make itself. 881 00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:22,899 - I know, listen to me, here. 882 00:43:22,901 --> 00:43:27,770 Abstinence is not a sexual orientation. 883 00:43:29,374 --> 00:43:33,176 Secondly, I just trying to help you get through this 884 00:43:33,178 --> 00:43:37,614 without killing yourself or anybody else. 885 00:43:37,616 --> 00:43:40,083 Thirdly, well honey, mmm. 886 00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,052 You got options. 887 00:43:44,022 --> 00:43:47,323 And hey, there is always porn. 888 00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:49,359 - Oh my God, you are sick. 889 00:43:50,862 --> 00:43:52,996 - Hey, let's have one, real quick. 890 00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:54,964 Just give it a little tongue, come on. 891 00:43:54,966 --> 00:44:00,003 - Oh, Jimmy! (yells) 892 00:44:01,373 --> 00:44:04,340 - Well shit, don't mind me ladies, I hate to interrupt. 893 00:44:04,342 --> 00:44:06,042 That is unless you two want my steak salami 894 00:44:06,044 --> 00:44:07,343 between those buttery loaves. 895 00:44:07,345 --> 00:44:12,215 - Oh my God, you are a sicko. 896 00:44:12,217 --> 00:44:15,118 - Hell, maybe I am, but at least I know how to have fun. 897 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,387 Sick and tired of y'all's crazy bullshit anyways. 898 00:44:17,389 --> 00:44:20,356 I'm going to the skeet range for donating blood. 899 00:44:20,358 --> 00:44:22,892 Whatever the hell to get away from you guys. 900 00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:26,729 - Don't mind him, Bigtime Jimmy. 901 00:44:26,731 --> 00:44:28,264 Let's go make them enchiladas. 902 00:44:28,266 --> 00:44:31,167 - Oh, you put too many damn onions on them for me. 903 00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:33,736 - All right, you gonna get changed though, 904 00:44:33,738 --> 00:44:34,937 closing up the work straps. 905 00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:39,375 (lively guitar music) 906 00:44:53,091 --> 00:44:55,825 - How are you doing Anthony? - Good. 907 00:45:17,949 --> 00:45:21,150 - No thanks, gotta keep my wits. 908 00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:26,022 There's just too much shit goin' on around here. 909 00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:30,927 I thought Jimmy was (speaking in a foreign language). 910 00:45:33,031 --> 00:45:34,997 - Things sure are tense around here, huh, Juan? 911 00:45:34,999 --> 00:45:36,265 Even you look worried. 912 00:45:37,802 --> 00:45:39,202 Well, first thing's first, man. 913 00:45:40,772 --> 00:45:44,974 You, you gotta figure out what you want, how to get it 914 00:45:44,976 --> 00:45:46,509 without Jack and anybody else around. 915 00:45:48,146 --> 00:45:49,312 - That's the problem. 916 00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:53,216 Well, if you come from a place of love, Juan, I mean, 917 00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:58,054 the world will just have to deal with it, man. 918 00:45:59,057 --> 00:46:01,023 - I come from a place of love, 919 00:46:01,025 --> 00:46:02,859 (speaking in a foreign language). 920 00:46:05,497 --> 00:46:06,296 What did you call me? 921 00:46:06,297 --> 00:46:07,096 - A celebration of life, man, 922 00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:13,069 we're made out of stardust, dude, like first, 923 00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:16,439 second, third generation of stars, 924 00:46:17,976 --> 00:46:21,410 supernova explosions, stellar nebulae, man. 925 00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:24,413 And we're on this glob of dust, 926 00:46:24,415 --> 00:46:27,183 shooting around our star like a bowling ball, man, 927 00:46:28,887 --> 00:46:31,521 at 66,000 miles per hour. 928 00:46:34,058 --> 00:46:35,424 - That's some serious speed. 929 00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:38,027 - Yes sir, it is. 930 00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:40,363 And at the same time, we are just shooting 931 00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:43,232 through the galaxy at half a million miles an hour, 932 00:46:43,234 --> 00:46:44,534 through the cosmic background radiation 933 00:46:44,536 --> 00:46:46,969 at 1.3 million miles an hour. 934 00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,971 And the entire time, man, I swear to you, 935 00:46:50,542 --> 00:46:52,441 sometimes I feel like I'm just sitting still. 936 00:46:54,379 --> 00:46:55,945 - Sometimes I feel like my life's going 937 00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:57,246 a million miles an hour. 938 00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:00,883 - You know what? 939 00:47:03,021 --> 00:47:05,488 This'll slow it down, man. 940 00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:08,124 Come on, Juan, come on Juan. 941 00:47:08,126 --> 00:47:09,526 You know you want the joint, Juan, 942 00:47:09,527 --> 00:47:10,927 you know you want the joint, Juan, 943 00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:13,396 you know, oh, yeah baby. 944 00:47:13,398 --> 00:47:14,997 - You're bad dude. 945 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:15,998 You got some fire? 946 00:47:17,101 --> 00:47:21,204 (speaking in a foreign language) 947 00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:28,177 - Geez, dude, is this Papo's weed? 948 00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:29,212 - Yes sir, (speaking in a foreign language). 949 00:47:32,283 --> 00:47:33,516 You know what else my philosophy teacher 950 00:47:33,518 --> 00:47:35,518 was telling me about, man? 951 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:39,155 So like, we live at the phase change 952 00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:41,224 between water, steam, and ice, dude. 953 00:47:41,226 --> 00:47:43,125 Fucking water, Juan. 954 00:47:43,127 --> 00:47:46,429 It's a fucking miracle, man, it's a fucking miracle, dude. 955 00:47:46,431 --> 00:47:47,597 We're like fucking water. 956 00:47:49,067 --> 00:47:50,132 You with me, man? 957 00:47:51,302 --> 00:47:52,602 - Oh yeah. 958 00:47:52,604 --> 00:47:56,472 (speaking in a foreign language) 959 00:47:56,474 --> 00:47:58,507 1.3 million miles an hour, 960 00:47:58,509 --> 00:48:01,444 living at the water phase change. 961 00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:05,581 - Dude, and I'm saying we live on this outer layer of dust. 962 00:48:05,583 --> 00:48:07,383 We're not trapped in the rock. 963 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:09,385 We're not trapped in the mantle. 964 00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:10,987 We can move through time. 965 00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:12,521 We're not stuck like that tree. 966 00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:15,291 We're not floating around like a leaf in water, man. 967 00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:20,429 We breathe in the stardust, we breathe it out. 968 00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:23,933 We drink it in, Juan, we pee it out. 969 00:48:23,935 --> 00:48:26,035 I mean, we eat it in and we just-- 970 00:48:26,037 --> 00:48:28,537 - I get it man, I get it dude. 971 00:48:28,539 --> 00:48:31,207 Do you believe we were born on a predetermined path? 972 00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:33,442 I was watching Charlie Rose the other night, 973 00:48:33,444 --> 00:48:37,246 and they had this dude on there that was talking about like 974 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,181 how we have these places on our DNA 975 00:48:39,183 --> 00:48:42,018 that are like predisposed. 976 00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:45,154 And they can like turn on and off, changing as we live. 977 00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,523 And then like this thing switches on 978 00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:51,294 and then this molecule like links us with our past. 979 00:48:52,697 --> 00:48:55,231 Yeah, isn't that fucking crazy, man? 980 00:48:57,402 --> 00:48:58,301 - That's the stardust, bro. 981 00:48:59,704 --> 00:49:01,971 That's the stardust, man. 982 00:49:01,973 --> 00:49:04,407 That's the stardust, Juan! 983 00:49:04,409 --> 00:49:07,043 It has been traveling back and forth between time 984 00:49:07,045 --> 00:49:09,445 and energy, dude. 985 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,281 And it ends up right here, right now dude, 986 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:13,616 it's in me, it's in you. 987 00:49:15,086 --> 00:49:17,553 Look at it, brother, the stars, man. 988 00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:18,988 That's what we're made of. 989 00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:26,195 Yeah, man, that's what I'm talking about. 990 00:49:27,966 --> 00:49:31,334 - Did you know that if you live 14 years on this earth, 991 00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:34,136 you're breathing the same air molecules as 992 00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:36,272 Julius Cesar, Abraham Lincoln. 993 00:49:39,444 --> 00:49:40,343 Dwight Howard. 994 00:49:41,446 --> 00:49:43,012 (laughs) 995 00:49:43,014 --> 00:49:44,113 - That was a funny one. 996 00:49:44,115 --> 00:49:46,482 - Hell, even Charlie Rose, man. 997 00:49:49,387 --> 00:49:50,319 - Papo is in us. 998 00:49:52,724 --> 00:49:54,557 He's in me. 999 00:49:54,559 --> 00:49:56,492 - What, man? 1000 00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:57,526 Papo's in you? 1001 00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:00,463 Hey Papo. 1002 00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:07,003 - No, man, it's like I can hear him talking to me. 1003 00:50:07,005 --> 00:50:09,772 Not like a voice, more like a sensation. 1004 00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:15,745 It's like I can ask him a question and I-- 1005 00:50:15,747 --> 00:50:18,748 [Both] Know what the answer would be, yes. 1006 00:50:18,750 --> 00:50:21,317 - Yeah, yeah man. 1007 00:50:22,653 --> 00:50:24,020 - The stardust speaks, man. 1008 00:50:25,023 --> 00:50:26,355 - Sure does. 1009 00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:31,227 - Give me some sugar, big boy. 1010 00:50:39,137 --> 00:50:40,436 I love you, man. 1011 00:50:40,438 --> 00:50:45,307 - I love you, too, mi amigo. 1012 00:50:46,310 --> 00:50:47,143 - Are you coming to dinner? 1013 00:50:47,145 --> 00:50:50,346 - Yes my friend, I am, I'm coming to dinner. 1014 00:50:50,348 --> 00:50:53,482 - I am so hungry man, I am so hungry right now! 1015 00:50:53,484 --> 00:50:56,285 - (laughs) I can't imagine why. 1016 00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:05,594 - Stardust, baby. 1017 00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,367 (chuckling) 1018 00:51:15,339 --> 00:51:17,506 - Juan, are you busy? 1019 00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:23,712 - Just contemplating the stars. 1020 00:51:30,354 --> 00:51:31,253 - Am I a bitch? 1021 00:51:36,127 --> 00:51:38,394 - Stop being so hard on yourself. 1022 00:51:40,231 --> 00:51:41,797 You're not making it any easier. 1023 00:51:44,268 --> 00:51:45,434 - I try. 1024 00:51:46,838 --> 00:51:51,474 Then I just go back to my ways of being 1025 00:51:51,476 --> 00:51:56,245 too damn serious and mean. 1026 00:51:58,549 --> 00:52:03,319 I wish I was more like Sallie, just fun-loving, free. 1027 00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:07,289 I've always admired her. 1028 00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:12,128 - Hey Mom. 1029 00:52:12,130 --> 00:52:14,797 - Oh hey, honey, I hope you had a great workout. 1030 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:21,303 - Why do you have to be so sarcastic all the damn time? 1031 00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,805 You don't appreciate a damn thing I do 1032 00:52:22,807 --> 00:52:24,306 for this family, Jeanne Anne. 1033 00:52:25,910 --> 00:52:30,179 Dammit woman, why do you always have to be so negative? 1034 00:52:31,415 --> 00:52:32,848 You treat me like I'm a dumbass. 1035 00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:36,285 You don't respect me. 1036 00:52:39,557 --> 00:52:40,322 You never have. 1037 00:52:43,427 --> 00:52:48,164 - Juan, we're gonna finish this conversation later. 1038 00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:07,516 - I'm sorry Juan, man I'm sorry. 1039 00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:12,454 Her nagging, it doesn't roll off me like it used to, man. 1040 00:53:12,456 --> 00:53:16,258 You know, I don't even know why she's mad at me. 1041 00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:18,694 I mean, I know that I'm not the lean mean fighting machine 1042 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,229 I always was. 1043 00:53:21,465 --> 00:53:22,565 But I still got feelings. 1044 00:53:23,734 --> 00:53:25,534 Hell, I'm more sensitive now than ever. 1045 00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:33,375 That's just not love. 1046 00:53:34,679 --> 00:53:36,879 - If you come from a place of love, 1047 00:53:36,881 --> 00:53:38,847 the world will just have to deal with it. 1048 00:53:40,651 --> 00:53:42,551 - That's not where I'm coming from, Juan. 1049 00:53:44,488 --> 00:53:47,890 In fact, I'm going by not coming. 1050 00:53:49,694 --> 00:53:52,294 I'm gonna get drunk. 1051 00:53:52,296 --> 00:53:54,663 I'm gonna eat some redfish. 1052 00:53:54,665 --> 00:53:56,232 I'm gonna watch Lonesome Doves. 1053 00:53:57,835 --> 00:54:00,236 - Jimmy, please come to dinner. 1054 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,273 I have something important to tell everyone. 1055 00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,911 - Dinner, there's no way Juan. 1056 00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:12,481 Man, I heard her talking about killing me. 1057 00:54:13,784 --> 00:54:15,317 She said it, she was serious, man. 1058 00:54:15,319 --> 00:54:16,719 I ain't never seen her like this. 1059 00:54:16,721 --> 00:54:18,254 She's lost her damn mind. 1060 00:54:18,256 --> 00:54:19,521 - She's not serious. 1061 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:25,294 Come on, man, please come to dinner, for me. 1062 00:54:25,296 --> 00:54:26,295 Come on, man. 1063 00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:28,864 - For you. 1064 00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:32,334 - Thanks, Jimmy. 1065 00:54:34,538 --> 00:54:35,437 - For you. 1066 00:54:55,026 --> 00:54:58,527 (gentle acoustic guitar) 1067 00:55:03,834 --> 00:55:06,969 ♪ Leroy's son's got a brand new gun ♪ 1068 00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:12,041 ♪ And he's goin' 95 up to Dena 1069 00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:15,944 ♪ Got a plan he's gonna kill this man ♪ 1070 00:55:15,946 --> 00:55:17,613 - I like jalapenos, except for when they get hot. 1071 00:55:17,615 --> 00:55:19,481 - I hate jalapenos. 1072 00:55:19,483 --> 00:55:21,950 - Jenny, jalapenos are cleansing, they're good for you. 1073 00:55:21,952 --> 00:55:24,820 - Got the salsa, y'all. 1074 00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:25,688 - Why are you wearing your sunglasses? 1075 00:55:25,690 --> 00:55:26,555 - Shut up. 1076 00:55:28,993 --> 00:55:30,826 - Salsa. 1077 00:55:30,828 --> 00:55:32,995 - Would you take your glasses off, for the last time? 1078 00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:35,497 - Jesus Christ, let's eat already. 1079 00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:38,067 God bless this food and treat us good. 1080 00:55:46,844 --> 00:55:49,912 - Bless this food we're about to be nourished with, 1081 00:55:49,914 --> 00:55:51,347 and especially Lord Jesus, 1082 00:55:52,817 --> 00:55:55,050 the two beautiful women who prepared it for us. 1083 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,588 Please give us the strength to tell the truth, oh Lord, 1084 00:55:59,590 --> 00:56:00,589 maker of the stardust, 1085 00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:03,759 and lead us all to forgiveness. 1086 00:56:03,761 --> 00:56:06,528 - Come on, now, when did you get so preachy, Juan? 1087 00:56:06,530 --> 00:56:08,063 - That was very pretty. 1088 00:56:08,065 --> 00:56:11,400 - If you need something done in a physical plane, 1089 00:56:11,402 --> 00:56:14,036 please, do it through us. 1090 00:56:14,038 --> 00:56:16,405 We are your ideas going through time 1091 00:56:16,407 --> 00:56:18,607 on this bowling ball of-- 1092 00:56:18,609 --> 00:56:20,042 - Right on, Juan. 1093 00:56:20,044 --> 00:56:21,910 - Are you fucking kidding me? 1094 00:56:21,912 --> 00:56:22,945 Bowling ball? 1095 00:56:22,947 --> 00:56:25,414 - Shut your derelict mouth. 1096 00:56:25,416 --> 00:56:26,148 I love him. 1097 00:56:28,085 --> 00:56:31,420 - Juan, I thought that was a lovely prayer. 1098 00:56:31,422 --> 00:56:33,455 I especially liked the part about 1099 00:56:33,457 --> 00:56:37,459 giving us the strength to tell the truth. 1100 00:56:39,063 --> 00:56:40,963 Where shall we start? 1101 00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:42,898 Jenny, Anthony, is there something you two little lovebirds 1102 00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:45,134 just wanna get off your chest? 1103 00:56:45,136 --> 00:56:48,070 - She's certifiable, totally lost it. 1104 00:56:48,072 --> 00:56:50,906 - Why don't you just admit in front of everyone, 1105 00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:52,574 that you're pregnant, 1106 00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:55,144 and even more so that your brother is the father? 1107 00:56:55,146 --> 00:56:57,413 I know, there are no secrets here. 1108 00:56:57,415 --> 00:56:58,814 - Wait a minute here. 1109 00:56:58,816 --> 00:57:01,717 Okay, you're saying that I had a kid, 1110 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:06,588 a tiny little baby, like a little human being with her? 1111 00:57:07,825 --> 00:57:09,091 - Eyew. - My sister? 1112 00:57:09,093 --> 00:57:10,959 - You can't fuck your sister. 1113 00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:13,562 - Dad, no way, man, no way. 1114 00:57:13,564 --> 00:57:16,765 I mean, I'm hard up and that would be like 1115 00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:18,934 an all-time low. 1116 00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,969 From Old Mexico, 1117 00:57:23,474 --> 00:57:25,607 little boy city. 1118 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:28,010 - Wait, you been crabbing down at Boystown? 1119 00:57:29,079 --> 00:57:31,680 Well, don't break out the seafood, Mama, 1120 00:57:31,682 --> 00:57:33,449 Anthony's coming home with crabs. 1121 00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:35,217 - Oh. 1122 00:57:36,153 --> 00:57:37,820 - You're fucking disturbing. 1123 00:57:37,822 --> 00:57:39,621 And mother, you're nuttier than a squirrel turd. 1124 00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,023 You need help. 1125 00:57:41,025 --> 00:57:43,826 - I didn't raise you kids to be fornicating 1126 00:57:43,828 --> 00:57:46,829 like a pack of backwood hillbillies. 1127 00:57:46,831 --> 00:57:48,864 What would your Papo have said? 1128 00:57:48,866 --> 00:57:51,667 He's probably turning over in his grave. 1129 00:57:51,669 --> 00:57:53,669 - Papo would duct tape your mouth 1130 00:57:53,671 --> 00:57:56,505 and hands and feet, and take you to the mental hospital 1131 00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,973 because you have lost it. 1132 00:57:57,975 --> 00:57:59,942 I've gotta get this psycho bitch on my Snapchat. 1133 00:57:59,944 --> 00:58:02,177 - Don't you lie to me, young lady. 1134 00:58:02,179 --> 00:58:04,847 There are no secrets in the Kappa house. 1135 00:58:04,849 --> 00:58:06,682 You admitted it to your roommate 1136 00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:08,917 and we found your pregnancy test. 1137 00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:11,019 - That's reassuring. 1138 00:58:11,021 --> 00:58:13,055 So you bugged my room at school 1139 00:58:13,057 --> 00:58:15,023 and you go through my trash? 1140 00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:17,993 Jeanne Anne Williker, NSA Mom. 1141 00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:19,895 - Wait, did you bug her room? 1142 00:58:19,897 --> 00:58:22,097 Do we have to break out the straitjacket tonight? 1143 00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:26,735 - No, her suitemate overheard her say 1144 00:58:26,737 --> 00:58:29,271 that she was in love with Anthony. 1145 00:58:29,273 --> 00:58:32,574 - Jeanne Anne, please, Anthony is not the only 1146 00:58:32,576 --> 00:58:35,110 goddamn Anthony at the University of Texas. 1147 00:58:35,112 --> 00:58:36,678 Did you ever think about that? 1148 00:58:39,550 --> 00:58:44,219 - Well, I, she said it was forbidden fruit. 1149 00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:47,723 - Mother, is that what all this is really about? 1150 00:58:47,725 --> 00:58:49,558 Me and Anthony? 1151 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,728 Or can you just not deal with your own issues? 1152 00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:53,896 - Anthony and I. 1153 00:58:55,599 --> 00:58:58,000 - It's a direct object pronoun after a verb, JA. 1154 00:58:58,969 --> 00:59:00,235 - You really wanna know? 1155 00:59:01,138 --> 00:59:02,971 - You have no idea. 1156 00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:04,206 - It's true. - Oh my God. 1157 00:59:05,309 --> 00:59:06,275 - All of it. 1158 00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:12,114 We are in love and having a baby 1159 00:59:12,116 --> 00:59:16,985 on an inbred reality TV show called Backwoods America. 1160 00:59:17,955 --> 00:59:21,623 And your face is gonna be 1161 00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:25,127 Granny Backwood, plastered all across America. 1162 00:59:26,797 --> 00:59:30,265 You're gonna be Hillbilly Dynasty, yee-haw. 1163 00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:32,801 - I knew it, I knew it! 1164 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:35,604 You can't lie to me. 1165 00:59:35,606 --> 00:59:37,940 I am not crazy, I am no fool. 1166 00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,809 Ooh, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. 1167 00:59:40,811 --> 00:59:42,277 - You gotta breathe. 1168 00:59:42,279 --> 00:59:45,647 - We're just pulling your leg here, okay. 1169 00:59:45,649 --> 00:59:47,616 We're just pulling your leg. 1170 00:59:47,618 --> 00:59:50,852 And I have to admit, you kinda make it easy for us. 1171 00:59:50,854 --> 00:59:55,724 But I mean, honey, though, for real, the twins, 1172 00:59:57,127 --> 00:59:58,660 we're having twins. 1173 00:59:58,662 --> 00:59:59,928 They're gonna be two-headed. 1174 01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:04,132 - So, are you two in love or not? 1175 01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,802 (laughing) 1176 01:00:06,804 --> 01:00:09,037 - No, JA, you're really trying to make me hurl here. 1177 01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:13,909 No, but if we are having a come to Jesus session right now, 1178 01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:19,815 I'm gonna lay it all right down on the line 1179 01:00:20,851 --> 01:00:22,184 once and for all. 1180 01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:25,220 I am in love 1181 01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:28,323 with Aunt Sallie. 1182 01:00:29,393 --> 01:00:30,292 - What? 1183 01:00:32,162 --> 01:00:34,162 - And she won't have anything to do with me. 1184 01:00:34,164 --> 01:00:37,032 - Sallie Mae, my goodness, you pedophile you. 1185 01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:39,001 (Sallie stammering) 1186 01:00:39,003 --> 01:00:42,638 - For once I can honestly say I didn't do anything. 1187 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,273 - Everybody's in love with Aunt Sallie, son. 1188 01:00:45,275 --> 01:00:46,174 - What? 1189 01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,144 - I mean, we all love her. 1190 01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:53,849 She has so much love in her heart. 1191 01:00:53,851 --> 01:00:56,785 - Oh, yeah, well thank you. 1192 01:00:56,787 --> 01:00:58,153 - I can tell you there's a lot of love there, 1193 01:00:58,155 --> 01:00:59,354 but it's not in her heart. 1194 01:00:59,356 --> 01:01:02,791 She can hardly keep it in her pants. 1195 01:01:02,793 --> 01:01:05,360 - Okay, what the hell, how did this get turned around on me? 1196 01:01:05,362 --> 01:01:06,962 Now let's stay on task here. 1197 01:01:06,964 --> 01:01:11,333 Now Jenny, if your brother is not the father, 1198 01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:12,701 then who is? 1199 01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:14,403 - What? 1200 01:01:14,405 --> 01:01:16,371 - Well, who got you in the family way there, sugar? 1201 01:01:16,373 --> 01:01:18,440 - What are you talking about? 1202 01:01:18,442 --> 01:01:20,742 - There was a positive pregnancy test 1203 01:01:20,744 --> 01:01:22,711 in your trash, damn child. 1204 01:01:22,713 --> 01:01:24,179 Don't you know who knocked you up? 1205 01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:26,782 - It is fine if you don't know. 1206 01:01:26,784 --> 01:01:28,684 - Whoa, you got storked? 1207 01:01:28,686 --> 01:01:30,686 - No Anthony, you're stoned. 1208 01:01:30,688 --> 01:01:32,387 - You don't got any proof. 1209 01:01:32,389 --> 01:01:35,757 - Melissa, from next door, didn't want her mom 1210 01:01:35,759 --> 01:01:36,925 to find out she's pregnant, 1211 01:01:36,927 --> 01:01:39,061 so she did her test over here. 1212 01:01:39,063 --> 01:01:41,263 You have to swear you won't tell. 1213 01:01:41,265 --> 01:01:43,432 - I told you it was that neighbor's girl. 1214 01:01:43,434 --> 01:01:45,934 That Melissa has a different guy over every week. 1215 01:01:45,936 --> 01:01:47,169 - That little slut. 1216 01:01:49,106 --> 01:01:51,807 - So there's no baby? 1217 01:01:51,809 --> 01:01:54,042 - There is no baby. 1218 01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:56,745 - Oh thank God. 1219 01:01:56,747 --> 01:01:59,147 Oh don't get me wrong, I do want grandkids, 1220 01:01:59,149 --> 01:02:03,018 just not like this and not on reality TV. 1221 01:02:05,422 --> 01:02:09,124 But wait a minute, why did you tell your suitemate 1222 01:02:09,126 --> 01:02:11,259 that you were in love with Anthony? 1223 01:02:11,261 --> 01:02:13,028 - Just let it go. 1224 01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:15,731 - Oh Jenny. 1225 01:02:17,301 --> 01:02:21,169 Oh, you're good, your Aunt Sallie taught you how to lie 1226 01:02:21,171 --> 01:02:24,973 amongst other things, but I know that look. 1227 01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:26,975 No, you're hiding something. 1228 01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:29,444 Whoa. 1229 01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:36,151 You're in love, that's it, you're in love. 1230 01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:37,519 Oh, she's in love. 1231 01:02:39,423 --> 01:02:42,257 But wait a minute, with who? 1232 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:46,261 - Well, I hope y'all saved room for enchiladas. 1233 01:02:46,263 --> 01:02:49,231 That gazpacho sure was good, didn't y'all think? 1234 01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:54,269 - The best, you are amazing Aunt Sallie. 1235 01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:57,205 - If it's not our Anthony, then what Anthony? 1236 01:02:57,207 --> 01:03:01,009 - You know, only Anthony I know is my best friend, 1237 01:03:01,011 --> 01:03:04,179 the Duke of the Piney Woods, two hoots and a holler, 1238 01:03:04,181 --> 01:03:06,882 Anthony Boudreaux Timberlake. 1239 01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:09,084 - Boudreaux Timberlake? - Boudreaux what? 1240 01:03:09,086 --> 01:03:11,553 - Like the Timberlakes? - Shut up! 1241 01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:15,190 - Damn you, Mother, why can't you just leave things alone? 1242 01:03:15,192 --> 01:03:18,493 I'm not a kid, I'm a grown woman, and I give blowjobs. 1243 01:03:18,495 --> 01:03:20,195 Fuck all of you. 1244 01:03:20,197 --> 01:03:22,364 - Jenny Williker, you get your butt back here 1245 01:03:22,366 --> 01:03:23,265 and you sit down. 1246 01:03:28,038 --> 01:03:29,237 If you're gonna lie down with the dogs, 1247 01:03:29,239 --> 01:03:31,139 you better be ready to get the fleas. 1248 01:03:32,242 --> 01:03:34,509 Papo wouldn't have talk like that, 1249 01:03:34,511 --> 01:03:36,211 and I won't stand for it either. 1250 01:03:37,981 --> 01:03:39,214 Papo is dead. 1251 01:03:40,517 --> 01:03:44,586 The last time we had Sunday dinner, Papo was alive. 1252 01:03:47,558 --> 01:03:48,490 He was sitting right there in that chair. 1253 01:03:53,096 --> 01:03:54,396 Hell, he still is in my book. 1254 01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:01,203 Let's show some respect, all of you. 1255 01:04:02,239 --> 01:04:04,439 Quit acting like spoiled schoolchildren. 1256 01:04:06,243 --> 01:04:08,877 Now since this has become a regular confession, 1257 01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:12,914 Jenny darling, it is time to come clean. 1258 01:04:12,916 --> 01:04:14,416 What the hell is going on? 1259 01:04:17,254 --> 01:04:18,320 - Truth is, 1260 01:04:20,224 --> 01:04:22,157 Tiger and I are in love. 1261 01:04:25,929 --> 01:04:27,596 I'm sorry, brother. 1262 01:04:27,598 --> 01:04:31,132 I didn't mean to, it's just, 1263 01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:35,637 he's such a good guy and he's cute and smart and sexy. 1264 01:04:35,639 --> 01:04:38,607 And you know he's writing a book. 1265 01:04:38,609 --> 01:04:41,877 - Oh, how intellectual of him. 1266 01:04:41,879 --> 01:04:42,878 What kind of book? 1267 01:04:44,281 --> 01:04:48,917 - Um, it's just a self-help type book. 1268 01:04:48,919 --> 01:04:50,252 - What kind of self help? 1269 01:04:52,422 --> 01:04:55,624 - Well, it's called Dumbalingus, a Bushwhacker's Guide 1270 01:04:55,626 --> 01:04:57,325 to Oral Satisfaction. 1271 01:04:57,327 --> 01:04:59,661 - Is he some kind of fancy chef? 1272 01:04:59,663 --> 01:05:03,498 - Yeah, Mom, a cookbook. 1273 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:07,535 The Joys of Eating Stuff. 1274 01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:11,640 - Lots of (clears throat) tasty recipes there, I'm sure. 1275 01:05:11,642 --> 01:05:13,375 - Damn you, Jenny. 1276 01:05:13,377 --> 01:05:15,911 Out of all the guys in Texas, 1277 01:05:15,913 --> 01:05:19,915 you had to go and pick my best friend Tiger? 1278 01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,384 Do you know how bad that sucks? 1279 01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:24,619 'Cause now I gotta kill him with karate. 1280 01:05:27,224 --> 01:05:29,124 - He's a fine young man. 1281 01:05:29,126 --> 01:05:31,293 Papo would have been proud to know him. 1282 01:05:31,295 --> 01:05:32,394 - Thank you. 1283 01:05:32,396 --> 01:05:34,629 - Well, I'm happy for you honey. 1284 01:05:34,631 --> 01:05:36,331 And there's no baby? 1285 01:05:36,333 --> 01:05:37,933 - There is no baby. 1286 01:05:37,935 --> 01:05:40,335 - Well, I think you got a keeper. 1287 01:05:40,337 --> 01:05:42,037 - When do I get to meet him? 1288 01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:44,572 - When I'm done with him, no offense, Aunt Sallie. 1289 01:05:44,574 --> 01:05:46,541 - None taken. 1290 01:05:46,543 --> 01:05:50,712 But you know, while we're, 1291 01:05:50,714 --> 01:05:53,615 while we're kind of on a roll here tonight, 1292 01:05:55,085 --> 01:05:57,953 there's just a little something that I, 1293 01:05:57,955 --> 01:06:02,390 well, we, um, that... 1294 01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:06,628 - Well, Sallie Mae McGregor is speechless. 1295 01:06:09,266 --> 01:06:10,632 - Tell her Juan. 1296 01:06:10,634 --> 01:06:13,702 - Oh no, you have something to share, Sallie, 1297 01:06:13,704 --> 01:06:16,671 you just go on and tell us yourself. 1298 01:06:16,673 --> 01:06:18,139 - Juan, tell her. 1299 01:06:25,115 --> 01:06:26,014 - Well, (sighs), 1300 01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:30,986 I love Sallie. 1301 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:36,424 (laughing) 1302 01:06:36,426 --> 01:06:37,492 You're making fun of me. 1303 01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:43,331 - (laughing) Good one, that's kind of funny. 1304 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:44,599 - We're in love. 1305 01:06:44,601 --> 01:06:47,168 (laughing) 1306 01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:51,840 - Oh Juan. 1307 01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:52,573 - And we're moving in together. 1308 01:06:52,576 --> 01:06:54,642 (laughing) 1309 01:06:58,315 --> 01:07:00,382 And I'll resign right away. 1310 01:07:00,384 --> 01:07:03,184 (Anthony laughing) 1311 01:07:04,621 --> 01:07:06,054 Everybody stopped laughing. 1312 01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:18,400 Juan and Aunt Sallie. 1313 01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:24,305 Two of my most favorite people in the world. 1314 01:07:25,409 --> 01:07:29,244 If anybody was to steal my girl man, I guess, 1315 01:07:29,246 --> 01:07:31,312 I guess it's good that it's you. 1316 01:07:31,314 --> 01:07:34,382 Crazy, that is crazy, man. 1317 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:39,120 Bowling ball and dust, stardust, 1318 01:07:39,122 --> 01:07:42,290 stardust, baby, (kisses) stardust. 1319 01:07:44,761 --> 01:07:46,327 - Well, I'm happy for you. 1320 01:07:49,533 --> 01:07:52,167 It's a beautiful thing when love is found in this world 1321 01:07:52,169 --> 01:07:55,203 and there is no need to resign Juan. 1322 01:07:56,173 --> 01:07:58,573 I want you both around. 1323 01:08:00,143 --> 01:08:01,476 I love you both. 1324 01:08:04,181 --> 01:08:06,748 - Jeanne Anne, that is the sweetest thing 1325 01:08:06,750 --> 01:08:08,383 you've said since 1988. 1326 01:08:09,252 --> 01:08:10,251 Oh, we love you JA. 1327 01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:13,388 - Thank you for your blessing, JA. 1328 01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,294 - I wish Papo were here to see this. 1329 01:08:22,732 --> 01:08:24,833 I forgot to light the candles. 1330 01:08:24,835 --> 01:08:26,534 - You sure did. 1331 01:08:26,536 --> 01:08:27,602 - That'll fix everything. 1332 01:08:33,877 --> 01:08:35,743 - Are you kidding me? 1333 01:08:35,745 --> 01:08:37,445 - What? 1334 01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:40,448 - It says last will and testament. 1335 01:08:40,450 --> 01:08:41,816 - What? 1336 01:08:41,818 --> 01:08:45,120 - It's dated last week, the day Papo died. 1337 01:08:45,122 --> 01:08:46,338 - No way. - You didn't know 1338 01:08:46,339 --> 01:08:47,555 it was there? 1339 01:08:47,557 --> 01:08:50,425 - The stardust, it's breathing in everyone, 1340 01:08:50,427 --> 01:08:51,826 even you, Mom. 1341 01:08:51,828 --> 01:08:53,528 That is unreal. 1342 01:08:53,530 --> 01:08:54,429 - Read it, Mom. 1343 01:08:56,700 --> 01:09:00,635 - To my old partners Juan and Jimmy, 1344 01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:03,338 in the old days around these parts, 1345 01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:06,875 the Comanches would bring in brave boys, captives, 1346 01:09:06,877 --> 01:09:08,843 and work them to the bone. 1347 01:09:08,845 --> 01:09:12,514 If they survived, they became equal parts of their family. 1348 01:09:12,516 --> 01:09:14,649 You boys are two of the best sons 1349 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:16,818 I could've ever hoped for. 1350 01:09:16,820 --> 01:09:19,787 My land, this stretch of earth we call home, 1351 01:09:19,789 --> 01:09:23,558 is now yours to manage as you see fit. 1352 01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,861 I have also left you my cowboy books, guns, 1353 01:09:26,863 --> 01:09:30,365 vehicles, horses, saddles, livestock, 1354 01:09:30,367 --> 01:09:34,269 and GPS coordinates of my favorite fishing holes. 1355 01:09:35,472 --> 01:09:36,638 (speaking in a foreign language) 1356 01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:37,672 - God, I love that man. 1357 01:09:40,644 --> 01:09:41,876 Jeanne Anne and Jimmy, 1358 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:47,849 as you know, MeMaw was a force to be reckoned with. 1359 01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:51,819 Everyone thought we always got along, but in truth, 1360 01:09:51,821 --> 01:09:54,689 we fought like cats and dogs. 1361 01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:59,494 The question I would always ask myself 1362 01:09:59,496 --> 01:10:02,330 is what am I more committed to, 1363 01:10:02,332 --> 01:10:05,967 being right or staying married? 1364 01:10:05,969 --> 01:10:08,369 - Lord knows that's the truth. 1365 01:10:08,371 --> 01:10:09,938 - Despite Papo's great wisdom, 1366 01:10:11,474 --> 01:10:14,542 your father and I have something that we would like 1367 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,344 to tell you. 1368 01:10:18,815 --> 01:10:20,215 We're getting divorced. 1369 01:10:20,217 --> 01:10:20,915 - [All] What? 1370 01:10:22,219 --> 01:10:23,484 - What the fuck are you talking about? 1371 01:10:23,486 --> 01:10:24,819 - Mom, you have someone else? 1372 01:10:24,821 --> 01:10:26,688 - I do not. 1373 01:10:26,690 --> 01:10:28,990 Our relationship has become untenable 1374 01:10:28,992 --> 01:10:31,659 and that is all that I can say. 1375 01:10:31,661 --> 01:10:33,628 - Anthony and I are not surprised. 1376 01:10:33,630 --> 01:10:36,231 We just, we thought it would be Dad 1377 01:10:36,233 --> 01:10:37,966 that couldn't take your crap anymore. 1378 01:10:37,968 --> 01:10:41,236 I mean, the way you treat him. 1379 01:10:41,238 --> 01:10:43,304 I'm surprised he put up with it this long. 1380 01:10:43,306 --> 01:10:45,406 Maybe he'll finally get his balls back. 1381 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:50,011 - Well, this philanderer didn't have any balls. 1382 01:10:50,013 --> 01:10:51,980 - Oh dammit, Jeanne Anne Williker. 1383 01:10:51,982 --> 01:10:54,816 For once and for all, you completely deballed the man. 1384 01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:56,684 - Wait, when the hell did this conversation turn 1385 01:10:56,686 --> 01:10:58,453 to my balls or lack thereof? 1386 01:10:58,455 --> 01:11:03,324 - You know damn well, Mr. Port A Affair Man. 1387 01:11:04,694 --> 01:11:06,928 Why don't you just grow a pair and tell everyone 1388 01:11:06,930 --> 01:11:08,763 what you've been up to? 1389 01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:10,598 - Mr. Port A what? 1390 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:15,570 - Your father has been spending the last few days 1391 01:11:15,572 --> 01:11:20,441 with his girlfriend at our condo on the coast. 1392 01:11:21,678 --> 01:11:22,610 Oh yeah (laughs). 1393 01:11:24,314 --> 01:11:27,415 Not even the decency to take her to the hunting lease 1394 01:11:27,417 --> 01:11:31,486 in Three Rivers, just right there in my own bed, 1395 01:11:31,488 --> 01:11:33,321 you son of a bitch. 1396 01:11:33,323 --> 01:11:35,690 - Wait a minute, JA, you got it all wrong. 1397 01:11:35,692 --> 01:11:36,924 You gotta tell her Dad. 1398 01:11:38,061 --> 01:11:40,795 - Well, come on, big boy, 1399 01:11:40,797 --> 01:11:43,564 try to dig yourself out of this one. 1400 01:11:43,566 --> 01:11:46,034 The head of the Junior League herself saw you 1401 01:11:46,036 --> 01:11:50,038 gallivanting in and out all week long 1402 01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:52,740 with some 30-year-old blonde tramp. 1403 01:11:54,077 --> 01:11:57,412 (laughs) Oh, I've had it with you. 1404 01:11:57,414 --> 01:11:59,847 Count your blessings I let you live. 1405 01:11:59,849 --> 01:12:02,383 (laughing) 1406 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:14,395 - You wanna know? 1407 01:12:15,965 --> 01:12:17,765 Okay, I'll let you know. 1408 01:12:19,469 --> 01:12:21,803 You know how you hate the lime green and orange 1409 01:12:21,805 --> 01:12:23,338 at the condo in Port A? 1410 01:12:26,743 --> 01:12:28,476 Happy fucking anniversary. 1411 01:12:29,979 --> 01:12:32,914 I hired a decorator to redo it all as a surprise. 1412 01:12:32,916 --> 01:12:34,048 So fuck you. 1413 01:12:35,719 --> 01:12:39,787 Surprise, I ain't fucking anyone but myself, 1414 01:12:39,789 --> 01:12:42,390 drinking myself to sleep trying to forget 1415 01:12:42,392 --> 01:12:43,825 how much I miss poor Papo. 1416 01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:46,427 Selfless son of a bitch. 1417 01:12:47,997 --> 01:12:52,066 I had to lick my wounds and deal with my loss my way. 1418 01:12:54,971 --> 01:12:56,938 - So you're not cheating on me? 1419 01:12:58,675 --> 01:13:00,575 - Goddammit, what's the matter with you? 1420 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:05,713 No, I can't remember the last time I got any. 1421 01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:09,117 - Oh sweetie, oh that is so sad. 1422 01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:13,154 - I thought when you bought the cow, it was unlimited. 1423 01:13:15,024 --> 01:13:16,057 I'm never getting married. 1424 01:13:21,898 --> 01:13:23,598 - I thought you made a fool of me 1425 01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:27,502 and left me for another woman. 1426 01:13:29,873 --> 01:13:30,972 Will you forgive me? 1427 01:13:36,413 --> 01:13:38,646 I think I forgot how much I really do love you. 1428 01:13:50,693 --> 01:13:53,694 - Jeanne Anne, honey, why don't you finish 1429 01:13:53,696 --> 01:13:56,063 reading the will? 1430 01:13:56,065 --> 01:13:58,166 - You're really not cheating on me? 1431 01:13:58,168 --> 01:13:59,567 - Just read the damn thing. 1432 01:14:05,108 --> 01:14:06,007 - Okay. 1433 01:14:08,812 --> 01:14:11,512 Relationships are tough. 1434 01:14:11,514 --> 01:14:13,080 You take things for granted. 1435 01:14:14,684 --> 01:14:16,818 I fought through some tough times and I made it through 1436 01:14:16,820 --> 01:14:18,186 and I'm glad I did. 1437 01:14:19,589 --> 01:14:22,457 A great woman is like a great horse, 1438 01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:26,994 a high spirit and helluva companion. 1439 01:14:26,996 --> 01:14:30,765 You get bucked off, you get back on her. 1440 01:14:30,767 --> 01:14:34,168 Quit is a four-letter word. 1441 01:14:39,542 --> 01:14:40,675 - Dammit, Papo. 1442 01:14:46,015 --> 01:14:47,782 Why do you always know just what to say 1443 01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:50,184 just before I do something stupid? 1444 01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,123 (gentle music) 1445 01:14:58,561 --> 01:14:59,827 Why didn't you tell me you were dying? 1446 01:15:02,866 --> 01:15:04,265 Thought I was your best friend. 1447 01:15:07,837 --> 01:15:09,070 - You were his best friend, Dad. 1448 01:15:14,744 --> 01:15:17,011 - Papo knows things. 1449 01:15:17,013 --> 01:15:19,080 I don't know how, but he sure in the hell does. 1450 01:15:21,618 --> 01:15:25,086 He put that will in that drawer the day he died. 1451 01:15:25,088 --> 01:15:26,087 Who does that? 1452 01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:31,726 (applauding) 1453 01:15:31,728 --> 01:15:33,227 - Wonderful, you two. 1454 01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:37,999 Does Papo say anything about me? 1455 01:15:41,838 --> 01:15:43,538 - Well, read on, JA. 1456 01:15:43,540 --> 01:15:46,140 I'm sure he consecrates great Sallie in there, too. 1457 01:15:46,142 --> 01:15:49,844 - To my darling Sallie, honey, 1458 01:15:49,846 --> 01:15:52,880 I paid off the mortgage and bought you a new Lexus 1459 01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:55,550 down at the dealership. (Sallie squeals) 1460 01:15:55,552 --> 01:15:56,951 - Holy cow. 1461 01:15:56,953 --> 01:15:59,654 - Talk to Raul, he will take care of it. 1462 01:15:59,656 --> 01:16:01,322 - Oh my God. 1463 01:16:01,324 --> 01:16:03,925 - I love you, baby, and thanks for putting a whole bunch 1464 01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:05,960 of big smiles on an old man. 1465 01:16:05,962 --> 01:16:10,064 Signs of a dime hot is a tamale. 1466 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:14,168 You're one tasty tomato. - Oh hell no, man. 1467 01:16:14,170 --> 01:16:17,104 - Let me see that, oh my God, I love that man. 1468 01:16:17,106 --> 01:16:20,207 - Oh my God, Aunt Sallie, you sexy slut. 1469 01:16:21,077 --> 01:16:22,710 - Oh, thank you sugar, 1470 01:16:22,712 --> 01:16:23,744 - Is that all? 1471 01:16:23,746 --> 01:16:25,279 - Oh, here we go. 1472 01:16:25,281 --> 01:16:29,083 To Anthony and Jenny, I have set up an educational trust 1473 01:16:29,085 --> 01:16:32,620 for your undergraduate and graduate education, 1474 01:16:32,622 --> 01:16:34,922 complete with a trip to Europe. 1475 01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,691 - Yeah! - Oh my God! 1476 01:16:36,693 --> 01:16:39,860 - And new cars. - No way. 1477 01:16:39,862 --> 01:16:43,264 - A man could not hope for better grandchildren. 1478 01:16:43,266 --> 01:16:45,166 Right now I feel like when you're bull riding 1479 01:16:45,168 --> 01:16:47,935 and your eight seconds is up, 1480 01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:50,104 you know it's time to get off, 1481 01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:53,140 but you're not quite sure how or where you're gonna land. 1482 01:16:55,645 --> 01:16:56,978 (speaking in a foreign language) 1483 01:16:56,980 --> 01:16:58,245 Oh, sure babe. 1484 01:16:59,349 --> 01:17:02,350 (Sallie squeals) 1485 01:17:02,352 --> 01:17:04,185 - Sallie! 1486 01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:05,686 - Hey, listen to this. 1487 01:17:05,688 --> 01:17:07,822 I couldn't have asked for a better life 1488 01:17:07,824 --> 01:17:10,157 or a more loving family. 1489 01:17:10,159 --> 01:17:11,859 Take my ashes out to the hill country 1490 01:17:11,861 --> 01:17:15,363 in back of Crider's Rodeo on the Guadalupe River. 1491 01:17:15,365 --> 01:17:19,900 Then I can listen to the rodeo and dance every weekend. 1492 01:17:19,902 --> 01:17:24,772 Cyprus trees and a spring-fed river puts a smile on my face. 1493 01:17:27,910 --> 01:17:29,777 - I can smell the whiskey on his breath. 1494 01:17:31,047 --> 01:17:34,015 - Uh Dad, I think that's your upper lip. 1495 01:17:34,017 --> 01:17:35,916 (laughing) 1496 01:17:35,918 --> 01:17:40,788 - Oh yeah, but he's here, I can feel him. 1497 01:17:41,791 --> 01:17:43,991 - Yeah, in the plasma fields. 1498 01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:49,397 What's the rest of it say? 1499 01:17:49,399 --> 01:17:53,934 - It says, I have left donations to the Charlie Rose show, 1500 01:17:53,936 --> 01:17:57,705 PBS, the NRA, the Heritage Seed Foundation, 1501 01:17:57,707 --> 01:18:00,307 NPR, and Organization for Conservative Fiscal and Liberal 1502 01:18:00,309 --> 01:18:02,376 Personal Rights Activism. 1503 01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:04,412 - If that isn't the most damned mixed bag 1504 01:18:04,414 --> 01:18:05,680 I've ever heard of in my life. 1505 01:18:05,682 --> 01:18:07,214 - He loved that Charlie Rose. 1506 01:18:07,216 --> 01:18:08,416 - He sure did. 1507 01:18:08,418 --> 01:18:10,418 - To Jeanne Anne, my little girl, 1508 01:18:10,420 --> 01:18:13,154 you have always made your mother and I so proud. 1509 01:18:13,156 --> 01:18:15,856 We love you so much with all our hearts. 1510 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:18,926 Everything else in my estate goes to you. 1511 01:18:18,928 --> 01:18:20,261 - All right. - That's wonderful. 1512 01:18:20,263 --> 01:18:22,396 - You got the whole kit 'n' kaboodle, JA. 1513 01:18:22,398 --> 01:18:24,131 - Mom, that's awesome. 1514 01:18:24,133 --> 01:18:26,767 - Jeanne Anne, do you always have to be so dramatic? 1515 01:18:26,769 --> 01:18:28,235 Who else would he give it to? 1516 01:18:28,237 --> 01:18:29,904 - Right? (laughing) 1517 01:18:29,906 --> 01:18:31,772 - Oh look, she's speechless now. 1518 01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,274 - Now it's her turn. 1519 01:18:35,111 --> 01:18:36,777 - She's choking! 1520 01:18:36,779 --> 01:18:38,212 - Hey, hey, do the Heimlich, she's choking, y'all! 1521 01:18:38,214 --> 01:18:40,081 She's choking, oh my God! 1522 01:18:40,083 --> 01:18:42,783 - Oh my God! - Call 911, call 911! 1523 01:18:42,785 --> 01:18:44,085 - Jeanne Anne! 1524 01:18:44,087 --> 01:18:47,088 Come on, spit it out JA, spit it out! 1525 01:18:47,090 --> 01:18:48,723 - It's not gonna come out that way! 1526 01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:50,057 - I'm uncomfortable! 1527 01:18:50,059 --> 01:18:51,158 - JA! 1528 01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:53,894 - What are you doing to her? 1529 01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:55,062 - I think she's dying! 1530 01:18:55,064 --> 01:18:58,499 - Wake up, darling, wake up baby. 1531 01:18:58,501 --> 01:19:00,768 (sobbing) 1532 01:19:00,770 --> 01:19:03,938 Jeanne Anne, Jeanne Anne, wake up. 1533 01:19:03,940 --> 01:19:07,041 I'm not done with you baby, please don't leave me. 1534 01:19:07,043 --> 01:19:08,809 Jeanne Anne, I love you. - Jimmy, Jimmy, 1535 01:19:08,811 --> 01:19:11,011 do the look, feel, touch. 1536 01:19:11,013 --> 01:19:13,380 - I looked down there, but I can't see. 1537 01:19:13,382 --> 01:19:15,049 She's not getting any air. 1538 01:19:15,051 --> 01:19:20,121 Jeanne Anne, Jeanne Anne. (sobbing) 1539 01:19:25,228 --> 01:19:26,160 I gotta frack it down. 1540 01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:28,129 - Frack her, Dad, frack her! 1541 01:19:30,399 --> 01:19:33,300 (Jeanne coughing) 1542 01:19:34,337 --> 01:19:36,003 - Oh God, it worked! - She's alive! 1543 01:19:36,005 --> 01:19:38,072 - Oh my God! - Help me! 1544 01:19:38,074 --> 01:19:39,907 - Help me get her up. 1545 01:19:43,212 --> 01:19:45,513 - Oh Jeanne Anne! - Oh my God. 1546 01:19:45,515 --> 01:19:47,548 - Oh my God, Mom, that was so scary. 1547 01:19:47,550 --> 01:19:50,351 Dad saved your life, he fracked you. 1548 01:19:50,353 --> 01:19:52,987 - Baby, don't you ever do that again. 1549 01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:57,091 - I saw them. 1550 01:19:57,092 --> 01:19:57,891 They were standing right there. 1551 01:19:59,395 --> 01:20:00,394 I talked to them. 1552 01:20:01,831 --> 01:20:03,063 - Who, honey? 1553 01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:05,199 - Papo and MeMaw. 1554 01:20:08,004 --> 01:20:09,236 They hugged me and, 1555 01:20:11,007 --> 01:20:14,909 and said they were fine, that they loved me. 1556 01:20:14,911 --> 01:20:17,144 And then MeMaw said that I had to come back 1557 01:20:17,146 --> 01:20:19,914 because y'all needed me. 1558 01:20:22,952 --> 01:20:25,820 They had cocktail glasses in their hands 1559 01:20:25,822 --> 01:20:27,454 like it was happy hour. 1560 01:20:29,025 --> 01:20:30,357 I felt Papo's breath. 1561 01:20:32,061 --> 01:20:35,229 It smelled like warm whiskey. 1562 01:20:36,465 --> 01:20:39,200 - I told you, Papo's breath. 1563 01:20:39,202 --> 01:20:42,069 - And I smelled MeMaw's perfume, like two rose bushes 1564 01:20:42,071 --> 01:20:43,070 and a honeysuckle. 1565 01:20:45,308 --> 01:20:50,077 And I looked back and they raised their glasses. 1566 01:20:51,380 --> 01:20:52,613 They had crushed ice. 1567 01:20:56,118 --> 01:20:58,485 - Mom, I love you, I'm so glad you're not dead. 1568 01:20:58,487 --> 01:21:00,521 But you gotta hear this. 1569 01:21:02,291 --> 01:21:06,427 According to this, Papo has executed your wishes, Mom. 1570 01:21:06,429 --> 01:21:11,065 This is from Jeanne Anne, March 24, 2003, to Papo. 1571 01:21:12,268 --> 01:21:14,268 I think you should read it, Dad. 1572 01:21:16,939 --> 01:21:19,406 (gentle music) 1573 01:21:22,979 --> 01:21:26,113 - Dear Daddy, I thought about our last discussion 1574 01:21:26,115 --> 01:21:28,949 and I've come to the following conclusion. 1575 01:21:28,951 --> 01:21:31,352 Jimmy is the most understanding, 1576 01:21:33,289 --> 01:21:37,057 warm loving husband a woman could have. 1577 01:21:41,264 --> 01:21:43,163 But I feel his frustration with me. 1578 01:21:44,600 --> 01:21:47,501 I wish I could be the open, playful partner 1579 01:21:47,503 --> 01:21:51,138 that Jimmy needs, but I'm just not a free spirit. 1580 01:21:53,476 --> 01:21:56,644 I love Jimmy more than anything or anyone. 1581 01:21:56,646 --> 01:21:57,912 And I always have. 1582 01:21:59,548 --> 01:22:03,450 Please promise me that if I ever receive any inheritance, 1583 01:22:03,452 --> 01:22:07,054 I would like it all to go to Jimmy, all of it. 1584 01:22:08,357 --> 01:22:10,491 Maybe then he'll realize how much I really love him. 1585 01:22:11,494 --> 01:22:13,560 I know you'll honor my wish. 1586 01:22:13,562 --> 01:22:15,429 Thank you for always being there for me. 1587 01:22:17,333 --> 01:22:19,199 Your loving daughter, Jeanne Anne. 1588 01:22:21,337 --> 01:22:24,204 - Well, I'll be damned if a drought didn't end with a flood. 1589 01:22:25,207 --> 01:22:27,374 You gave him the ranch, baby. 1590 01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:31,578 - Hell honey, I mean, I don't know what to say. 1591 01:22:33,015 --> 01:22:35,149 You can have it back, I believe you. 1592 01:22:36,152 --> 01:22:39,386 - I don't want it back. 1593 01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:42,556 I want you to know how much I really do love you. 1594 01:22:44,994 --> 01:22:45,993 And I always have. 1595 01:22:51,033 --> 01:22:55,035 There is not a material possession, amount of money, 1596 01:22:55,037 --> 01:22:58,372 or secret fishing hole than can ever express 1597 01:22:58,374 --> 01:23:01,208 how much I do love you. 1598 01:23:02,244 --> 01:23:04,979 I love this. (laughing) 1599 01:23:05,681 --> 01:23:08,349 - So do I. (laughing) 1600 01:23:12,221 --> 01:23:13,620 - But then it doesn't hurt. 1601 01:23:16,292 --> 01:23:19,293 I want you to have it all and run that ranch, 1602 01:23:19,295 --> 01:23:20,761 just like Papo did. 1603 01:23:22,264 --> 01:23:23,731 - And we'll run it as one big family, 1604 01:23:23,733 --> 01:23:26,333 Sallie and Juan included. 1605 01:23:27,136 --> 01:23:29,303 - I really do love this family. 1606 01:23:29,305 --> 01:23:32,306 - Wait, Dad, there's more. 1607 01:23:37,446 --> 01:23:39,713 - Okay, Papo wants us to do a toast. 1608 01:23:39,715 --> 01:23:41,115 Grab your glasses. 1609 01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:42,282 - Oh! - Are you kidding me? 1610 01:23:47,556 --> 01:23:51,425 - A toast, to love, health, wealth, 1611 01:23:51,427 --> 01:23:53,727 and plenty of time to enjoy it. 1612 01:23:53,729 --> 01:23:55,696 - [All] To love, health, wealth, 1613 01:23:55,698 --> 01:23:58,298 and plenty of time to enjoy them. 1614 01:23:58,300 --> 01:24:02,202 (speaking in a foreign language) 1615 01:24:09,645 --> 01:24:13,347 - And with that, my beloved ones, goodbye, 1616 01:24:15,151 --> 01:24:18,352 and be well until we see you on 1617 01:24:20,756 --> 01:24:22,222 this side of the dirt. 1618 01:24:25,061 --> 01:24:26,527 - This side of the star dirt. 1619 01:24:31,333 --> 01:24:32,266 - Oh baby, I love you. 1620 01:24:36,172 --> 01:24:38,472 - I love you guys, man. 1621 01:24:38,474 --> 01:24:40,641 - I love you, big boy. 1622 01:24:40,643 --> 01:24:43,177 (wistful music) 1623 01:24:55,491 --> 01:24:58,125 ♪ It's a long road 1624 01:24:58,127 --> 01:25:01,595 ♪ It takes a long time 1625 01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:04,364 ♪ You gotta keep a little faith in this big ol' world ♪ 1626 01:25:04,366 --> 01:25:07,201 ♪ While it spins along 1627 01:25:07,203 --> 01:25:09,703 ♪ You might be fucked up 1628 01:25:09,705 --> 01:25:13,107 ♪ Or maybe you're all fine 1629 01:25:13,109 --> 01:25:16,243 ♪ Oh you're never gonna know till the mirror stares back ♪ 1630 01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:21,315 ♪ And it's satisfied 1631 01:25:21,851 --> 01:25:26,253 ♪ You can't leave yet 1632 01:25:26,255 --> 01:25:31,125 ♪ Place your bets, there's so much more to do ♪ 1633 01:25:31,494 --> 01:25:33,727 ♪ Even though 1634 01:25:33,729 --> 01:25:37,631 ♪ It came before you 1635 01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:42,503 ♪ 'Cause this side of the dirt we can make it work ♪ 1636 01:25:43,873 --> 01:25:46,240 ♪ On this side of the dirt, you know ♪ 1637 01:25:46,242 --> 01:25:49,576 ♪ It'll always be a little bit worse ♪ 1638 01:25:49,578 --> 01:25:54,448 ♪ On this side of the dirt, sometimes it hurts ♪ 1639 01:25:55,784 --> 01:25:58,418 ♪ But this side of the dirt, at least ♪ 1640 01:25:58,420 --> 01:26:03,223 ♪ You might fall in love or find some luck ♪ 1641 01:26:03,926 --> 01:26:06,326 ♪ Get off your knees 1642 01:26:18,941 --> 01:26:21,775 ♪ Can you hear the violins 1643 01:26:21,777 --> 01:26:25,212 ♪ That dance in your head 1644 01:26:25,214 --> 01:26:28,382 ♪ Ooh sleep tight my little darling ♪ 1645 01:26:28,384 --> 01:26:31,385 ♪ That's what she said 1646 01:26:31,387 --> 01:26:33,720 ♪ 'Cause tomorrow 1647 01:26:33,722 --> 01:26:36,957 ♪ You're gonna stand tall 1648 01:26:36,959 --> 01:26:39,660 ♪ And there's a whole lotta gold in the hills ♪ 1649 01:26:39,662 --> 01:26:44,531 ♪ And you can have it all 1650 01:26:45,467 --> 01:26:47,834 ♪ You can't leave yet 1651 01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:49,603 ♪ No 1652 01:26:49,605 --> 01:26:54,474 ♪ So place your bets, there's so much more to do ♪ 1653 01:26:55,344 --> 01:26:57,611 ♪ And even though 1654 01:26:57,613 --> 01:27:00,547 ♪ It came before you