1 00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:13,171 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,433 Hi-yo, you NerdGasmics, nerd-a-maniacs, 3 00:00:20,435 --> 00:00:22,169 tuning into our podcast... 4 00:00:22,171 --> 00:00:24,872 For the win! 5 00:00:24,874 --> 00:00:28,375 As always, this is your boy Hot Rob and the Seanster. 6 00:00:28,377 --> 00:00:31,445 We're coming to you live from our fucking bat cave, yo. 7 00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:32,711 Ground zero. 8 00:00:32,713 --> 00:00:34,314 It's our Area 51, yo. 9 00:00:34,316 --> 00:00:36,350 You can't even see this, it's so secret. 10 00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:38,351 It's so super secret. Supercon's this weekend. 11 00:00:38,353 --> 00:00:41,121 It's gonna be in Westwego, Louisiana. 12 00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,990 It's gonna be really magical. 13 00:00:42,992 --> 00:00:44,957 We're gonna have great guests on the show. 14 00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:48,295 All of your favorite stars from TV, film, comics. 15 00:00:48,297 --> 00:00:50,095 Live from Supercon 16 00:00:50,097 --> 00:00:52,665 with our very own Supercon special edition podcast. 17 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,634 We're gonna be coming to you live 18 00:00:54,636 --> 00:00:57,037 from the cockpit of the shuttle craft, 19 00:00:57,039 --> 00:01:00,240 so come and see us at Supercon at Westwego. 20 00:01:00,242 --> 00:01:02,676 You'll get to see us, your boy Hot Rob 21 00:01:02,678 --> 00:01:04,210 and the Seanster. 22 00:01:04,212 --> 00:01:07,546 For the win! 23 00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:29,835 You have new messages. 24 00:01:29,837 --> 00:01:31,872 This call is for Mr. Mahar. 25 00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,641 This is Lavar Apartments. This is Rodney. 26 00:01:34,643 --> 00:01:36,143 You're behind on your rent, sir. 27 00:01:36,145 --> 00:01:37,578 Please give me a call back immediately 28 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,846 to avoid getting evicted. 29 00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:41,781 Next message. 30 00:01:41,783 --> 00:01:44,016 Hi, Mr. Mahar. This is Cindy. 31 00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:46,420 I work for Supercon owner and promoter Mr. Gil Bartell. 32 00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:50,022 He wanted me and remind you how important it is that you wear... 33 00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:52,959 Oh, it says here a turban from your show Tex Johnson. 34 00:01:52,961 --> 00:01:54,628 Mr. Bartell says you have to wear it 35 00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:55,828 or no one at the Con will recognize you 36 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,463 from when you were a kid. 37 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,832 Thanks so much and have a great Con. Bye. 38 00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:01,835 Third message. 39 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:04,605 Mr. Mahar, this is your soon-to-be ex-wife's attorney. 40 00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:07,373 I've made many attempts to get a hold of you in regard to Bob. 41 00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:10,209 Please call me back immediately to resolve this matter. 42 00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:12,813 Better yet, have your attorney call me 43 00:02:12,815 --> 00:02:15,214 because if you haven't obtained an attorney, you're gonna need a good one. 44 00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:17,350 Fourth message. 45 00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:19,553 Princess, it's Wheeler. Where you at? 46 00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:22,021 I'm at weapons check, waiting for your fat ass. 47 00:02:22,023 --> 00:02:26,160 Oh, Rob and Sean want us to do their podcast in their shuttle craft 48 00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,831 I know that gives you a boner. Hit me up, buddy boy. 49 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,066 Oh, God. 50 00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:37,470 I think you've lost weight. 51 00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:39,304 Last time I saw you, I don't know if you were this size, 52 00:02:39,306 --> 00:02:40,975 which is not to say that you didn't look good back then. 53 00:02:40,977 --> 00:02:42,608 You look good now. You look good all the time. 54 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:43,944 You need anything at all, 55 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:46,179 you just find one of us red shirts. 56 00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,380 Take care now. Don't hurt nobody. 57 00:02:48,382 --> 00:02:49,951 Okay, all right, bye. 58 00:02:53,788 --> 00:02:55,588 Sir, this is only for VIP guests. 59 00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:57,256 I am a VIP guest. 60 00:02:57,258 --> 00:03:00,460 Tex Johnson, US marshal. 61 00:03:00,462 --> 00:03:04,765 Can you be a doll, Tammy, and help out Mr. Larry Long-face? 62 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:08,235 OMG. You're Matt Wheeler. 63 00:03:08,237 --> 00:03:09,739 You can call me Wheels. 64 00:03:10,573 --> 00:03:12,773 Oh, my roommate's gonna freak out. 65 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,374 - Let her freak. - Mmm! 66 00:03:14,376 --> 00:03:17,643 I love Hiccup and Stringy. It's my total fave. 67 00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:21,116 I'll do it for you, but only if you do the Stringy voice. 68 00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:24,684 Hey, gorgeous! 69 00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,352 Are you a parking ticket? 70 00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:29,255 'Cause you got "fine" written all over you. 71 00:03:29,257 --> 00:03:30,589 Oh, Stringy! 72 00:03:33,662 --> 00:03:35,394 Deal's a deal. 73 00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:37,897 - Now, what's your name? - Steven Spielberg. 74 00:03:37,899 --> 00:03:39,898 Maybe I should try looking under "Douchebag." 75 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,368 I think Gil would probably want you to move Keith 76 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:44,304 next to my table right here. 77 00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:46,039 Can we do a little something about that? 78 00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:47,172 Yeah. 79 00:03:47,174 --> 00:03:49,442 Great. 80 00:03:49,444 --> 00:03:51,344 What the fuck was that? 81 00:03:51,346 --> 00:03:54,013 That's the sound a little dick makes. 82 00:03:54,015 --> 00:03:56,882 I have a little dick, and it doesn't make any noise. 83 00:03:56,884 --> 00:03:59,452 I have a big dick, and it makes lots of noise. 84 00:03:59,454 --> 00:04:01,755 Mm-hmm! 85 00:04:01,757 --> 00:04:05,093 Did you hear that? You heard that. 86 00:04:33,455 --> 00:04:36,392 Hey, I recognize you, handsome devil, huh? 87 00:04:37,826 --> 00:04:39,759 Ah, get your pictures now. There ya go. 88 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:44,364 Sure, sure, just a couple of free ones here. 89 00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,766 75 bucks at my table. 90 00:04:45,768 --> 00:04:47,701 Ah, this pen doesn't work. Sorry. 91 00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:50,636 Hey, come on. Easy, no touching. 92 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,506 - Hide me, hide me. - What? 93 00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:54,273 Fucking cocksucker's here. 94 00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:55,876 You are the fucking smallest guy here, 95 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,509 and I have to use you to cover me. 96 00:04:57,511 --> 00:05:00,013 Is that Keith Mahar? 97 00:05:00,015 --> 00:05:01,780 - Right there. - Hey. 98 00:05:01,782 --> 00:05:03,316 Hey, everybody, look. 99 00:05:03,318 --> 00:05:05,552 It's Hadji, my costar from Tex Johnson. 100 00:05:05,554 --> 00:05:08,088 Keith. My name is Keith. 101 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,290 Sure it is. Just busting balls. 102 00:05:10,292 --> 00:05:13,360 Hey, speaking of balls, how they hanging? 103 00:05:14,628 --> 00:05:17,165 Fucking prick. 104 00:05:19,835 --> 00:05:22,001 Can I get a photo with you guys? 105 00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,203 Sure, sure, anything for the fans, right, Keith? 106 00:05:24,205 --> 00:05:25,705 - Yeah. - Sure, sure, come on. 107 00:05:25,707 --> 00:05:27,408 Oh, okay, okay. 108 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,376 Here, get my good side. 109 00:05:29,378 --> 00:05:31,414 Go, good. 110 00:05:33,515 --> 00:05:34,581 All right, smile. 111 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:36,615 And... 112 00:05:36,617 --> 00:05:39,085 Fucking dick pic. 113 00:05:39,087 --> 00:05:40,920 Ah, that's not bad. You missed your calling. 114 00:05:40,922 --> 00:05:42,388 You should've been a photographer, Hadji. 115 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:44,490 - Hey, well, you know. - All right. 116 00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:47,160 - Catch ya later, Hadj. - Yeah, great. 117 00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:49,295 Hope you catch something later, you fuck. 118 00:05:49,297 --> 00:05:50,963 - Move, move, move, move. - I bet you him and her 119 00:05:50,965 --> 00:05:52,532 stand beside each other at the urinal. 120 00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,734 Where the fucking hat I bought you? Where's the hat? 121 00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:57,670 Nobody knows who the fuck you are without the hat on your head. 122 00:05:57,672 --> 00:05:59,638 I believe the appropriate term is "turban." 123 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,607 Okay, turban, the jihabi, 124 00:06:01,609 --> 00:06:04,110 the Pamper you was wearing on your fucking head. 125 00:06:04,112 --> 00:06:07,713 A jibjab rag, a diaper, where's the fucking hat? 126 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,518 - Um... - You know this guy? 127 00:06:09,951 --> 00:06:12,585 Harold? Kumar? 128 00:06:12,587 --> 00:06:15,088 I'm not fucking either of those people. 129 00:06:15,090 --> 00:06:17,624 Callahan. This is my head of security, 130 00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:19,292 and this is my brother-in-law, 131 00:06:19,294 --> 00:06:21,627 and I'm gonna let him loose on your ass 132 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:23,763 if you rearrange my seating again. 133 00:06:23,765 --> 00:06:25,198 I don't play that shit. 134 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,437 Get Jay on the phone. Motherfucker! 135 00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:39,112 Can't even move fast enough to fucking scare me. 136 00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:41,581 Osama bin fucking eating. 137 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:43,350 - Seriously? - Yeah, dude. 138 00:06:43,352 --> 00:06:45,518 She left me for her fucking personal trainer. 139 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,186 I should've known something was up. 140 00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,554 She would go to the gym in high heels. 141 00:06:48,556 --> 00:06:50,023 Who works out in high heels? 142 00:06:50,025 --> 00:06:51,657 Staying fat wasn't a clue? 143 00:06:51,659 --> 00:06:53,227 She filed for divorce, emptied the bank account, 144 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:55,028 kicked me out of the apartment. 145 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:57,463 Can't you get spousal support or something? 146 00:06:57,465 --> 00:06:59,299 Yeah, I would need a lawyer for that, 147 00:06:59,301 --> 00:07:00,934 and I'm already paying for the fucking lawyer she hired 148 00:07:00,936 --> 00:07:02,268 to divorce me. 149 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,405 She's what they call "a cunt burger." 150 00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:07,910 Ooh, I've had one of those before. 151 00:07:10,145 --> 00:07:12,444 Yep, I told you that wench was bad news. 152 00:07:12,446 --> 00:07:15,881 You're an asshole. You fucking introduced me to her. 153 00:07:15,883 --> 00:07:17,384 In Vegas, baby. 154 00:07:17,386 --> 00:07:20,020 - Didn't you shit your pants? - It was a shart. 155 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,557 Motherf... 156 00:07:27,696 --> 00:07:29,095 Good. 157 00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:31,066 - Controller's busted. - Round two. 158 00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:34,033 Go home, old man, you suck! 159 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:39,508 Really? 160 00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:42,074 I've seen a naked woman. 161 00:07:44,847 --> 00:07:46,612 In real life. 162 00:07:47,982 --> 00:07:50,984 Oh, mike drop. 163 00:07:50,986 --> 00:07:52,985 I didn't tell you the worst part. 164 00:07:52,987 --> 00:07:54,054 What's that? 165 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,524 She took Bob. 166 00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:58,124 She fucking took Bob? 167 00:07:58,126 --> 00:07:59,494 She stole my dog. 168 00:08:00,527 --> 00:08:02,961 What kind of a person steals a man's dog? 169 00:08:02,963 --> 00:08:04,530 An animal. 170 00:08:04,532 --> 00:08:07,199 Yeah. She didn't even like the fucking dog. 171 00:08:07,201 --> 00:08:09,201 And she ties him up in the apartment all day. 172 00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:11,840 Now I'm in a custody battle over some shit I can't even afford. 173 00:08:12,674 --> 00:08:14,441 And what was your name again? 174 00:08:14,443 --> 00:08:16,275 You know, I can't believe your Con agent let you go out 175 00:08:16,277 --> 00:08:19,048 looking like a special-needs M. Night Shyamalan. 176 00:08:19,715 --> 00:08:21,250 Look at this. 177 00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:24,519 Yo, check it out. Ms. Lily's here. 178 00:08:25,386 --> 00:08:26,920 Mmm. 179 00:08:26,922 --> 00:08:29,355 You know sometimes when I'm drunk, I do two things... 180 00:08:29,357 --> 00:08:31,857 Watch Ms. Lily's Classroom, 181 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:35,761 and then I jerk off while watching Ms. Lily's Classroom. 182 00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:37,930 Not to the classroom part. Just Ms. Lily. 183 00:08:37,932 --> 00:08:41,168 I'm not a fucking creep. Kinda wanna jerk off right now. 184 00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,303 Why don't you take that glorious headshot over? 185 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,505 Oh, yeah, this is what she wants. 186 00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:48,074 An unemployed former child actor 187 00:08:48,076 --> 00:08:51,545 whose life resembles a pile of dog shit. 188 00:08:51,547 --> 00:08:54,012 Hey, Wheeler, where's Hiccup this weekend, man? 189 00:08:54,014 --> 00:08:55,280 Rehab. 190 00:08:55,282 --> 00:08:58,017 - Hey, who are you? - Keith Mahar. 191 00:08:58,019 --> 00:08:59,184 I was on Tex Johnson. 192 00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:00,721 Was that Keith Mahar? 193 00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:02,655 Testicular cancer ring a bell? 194 00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:04,457 - Oh, my God. - You're the ball cancer kid! 195 00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:08,294 Hey, everybody, it's the ball cancer kid! Hey! 196 00:09:08,296 --> 00:09:11,131 Mommy, I got ball cancer! 197 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,365 Oh, geez. 198 00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:14,067 Fuck me. I thought you were dead. 199 00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:17,904 Nope, didn't actually have testicular cancer, 200 00:09:17,906 --> 00:09:19,441 therefore didn't die. 201 00:09:20,008 --> 00:09:21,407 Just your career. 202 00:09:22,811 --> 00:09:24,109 Fuckwad. 203 00:09:24,111 --> 00:09:26,447 Hey, Bobble D. 204 00:09:28,249 --> 00:09:31,117 A lemmy for me and an Irish Car Bomb 205 00:09:31,119 --> 00:09:32,584 for my terrorist friend here. 206 00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:34,688 I'm Indian, you fucking dummy. 207 00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:37,622 I didn't know this was a gay bar. 208 00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:39,159 Hello, lesbo face. 209 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,261 We were just about to start scissoring. 210 00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:43,228 McNealy, that filthy mouth of yours 211 00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,698 is not gonna get me back to your room tonight. 212 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,534 Chardonnay for me, thanks. 213 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:50,203 - Can I get that In a to-go cup? - Jack and Coke, please. 214 00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:51,637 And can he get a thong and a scrunchie 215 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,640 and maybe a Tampax with that too? 216 00:09:53,642 --> 00:09:56,108 This is Rocky. We went to Michigan together. 217 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:57,577 Now we're just fucking. 218 00:09:57,579 --> 00:09:59,445 You're not a personal trainer, are you? 219 00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:01,915 He's a DJ. He's spinning the rave tonight. 220 00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:03,782 When he comes, does soy sauce come out? 221 00:10:03,784 --> 00:10:06,486 Green or red? The low sodium or the regular sodium? 222 00:10:06,488 --> 00:10:07,420 Keith. 223 00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:09,188 They call me Pharaoh. 224 00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,589 What do they call you? 225 00:10:10,591 --> 00:10:11,857 - Pharaoh. - Oh. 226 00:10:11,859 --> 00:10:13,425 I thought you were saying, "Herro." 227 00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:16,262 I should take off, Al, get my shit together. 228 00:10:16,264 --> 00:10:18,667 Yeah, they're animals. 229 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,801 I'm a DJ too. 230 00:10:21,803 --> 00:10:24,603 - He works out. - I work out. 231 00:10:24,605 --> 00:10:26,905 Yeah, but he's supposed to be working out math. 232 00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:29,642 He's dehydrated. He's lost a lot of fluids. 233 00:10:29,644 --> 00:10:30,776 He is pretty big though. 234 00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:32,144 Yeah. He's huge in Japan. 235 00:10:32,146 --> 00:10:34,413 Hey, three inches is big in Japan. 236 00:10:34,415 --> 00:10:36,248 Yeah, so you're like average there. 237 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,785 Does he go down on you with chopsticks? 238 00:10:38,787 --> 00:10:42,023 You ever go down on him and you're hungry half an hour later? 239 00:10:43,891 --> 00:10:45,056 He was big though. 240 00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:46,559 - Wait a minute. - What? 241 00:10:46,561 --> 00:10:49,131 What time is your Classic TV panel? 242 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,798 Um, at... 243 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,669 Oh, fuck-me-o'clock. 244 00:10:54,168 --> 00:10:55,603 I'll drink it. 245 00:11:01,009 --> 00:11:02,507 - You got this. - Now you're ready. 246 00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:03,843 Bye. 247 00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:05,411 Tell King he sucks. 248 00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:36,443 Downtown Crime. 249 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,978 Starring Brock Hutchinson 250 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:41,613 as Detective Mitch Sipes. 251 00:11:42,884 --> 00:11:45,550 I look like one of the Village People. 252 00:11:45,552 --> 00:11:47,687 I'm gonna tell you the true story here right now. 253 00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:49,622 Brock, being the guy that he is, 254 00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:52,391 he gave a bit of encouragement to a young Tom Selleck. 255 00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:53,825 He said, "Now this is between you and me." 256 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,093 You're out of breath? 257 00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:56,963 The bar is next door. 258 00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,231 - Don't judge me. - Mm-hmm. 259 00:11:58,233 --> 00:11:59,564 What did I miss? 260 00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,700 Just your dignity, sweetheart. 261 00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:04,069 "Tom, why don't you go on home, grow yourself a mustache, 262 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,671 and then try it again." 263 00:12:05,673 --> 00:12:09,842 Let's bring out the star of Downtown Crime, 264 00:12:09,844 --> 00:12:14,180 ladies and gentlemen, Brock Hutchinson! 265 00:12:14,182 --> 00:12:16,248 Come on out, Brock. Come on out! 266 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,818 I came out years ago! 267 00:12:21,955 --> 00:12:24,756 Hello, Westwego. 268 00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:27,894 When you get the clap from you guys, 269 00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:30,228 I think you really mean it. 270 00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:33,333 I don't wanna leave you out here all by yourself there, Brock. 271 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:37,636 Our next guest, everyone's favorite ball cancer kid. 272 00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:41,343 Fuck me. 273 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,376 Ooh! 274 00:12:44,378 --> 00:12:48,014 You've been a bad Hadji. 275 00:12:48,016 --> 00:12:49,848 That's gonna leave a mark. 276 00:12:51,351 --> 00:12:53,051 You see here, little fella, 277 00:12:53,053 --> 00:12:55,021 down here in Texas, we take care of our own. 278 00:12:55,023 --> 00:12:59,593 Speaking of which, you feeling okay? 279 00:12:59,595 --> 00:13:03,029 Go ahead, Hadji. We're all friends here. 280 00:13:03,031 --> 00:13:05,464 It's okay to talk about, Judge Glover. 281 00:13:05,466 --> 00:13:08,067 Tex told me I have testicular cancer. 282 00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:10,069 Oh, Hadji! 283 00:13:12,072 --> 00:13:16,775 All right, from Tex Johnson, US Marshal, 284 00:13:16,777 --> 00:13:20,246 it's that crazy go-kart-driving Hadji, 285 00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:22,048 Keith Mahar! 286 00:13:31,058 --> 00:13:33,728 Get the fuck outta here. Prick. 287 00:13:37,231 --> 00:13:39,232 Attention, Supercon. 288 00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:40,967 Remember, personal hygiene affects everyone. 289 00:13:40,969 --> 00:13:42,535 Hey. 290 00:13:42,537 --> 00:13:44,102 If you smell someone, tell someone. 291 00:13:44,104 --> 00:13:45,673 Keep it in the pants, man. 292 00:13:45,974 --> 00:13:47,506 Skip. 293 00:13:47,508 --> 00:13:49,708 Hey, you see that guy? Is he your type? 294 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,245 Over you? A thousand times, yes. 295 00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:54,816 How about Adam King of the Cocks over there? 296 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:56,982 He's a prick. 297 00:13:56,984 --> 00:13:59,419 Hides it well from the fans though. 298 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,387 Well, you and Mr. Sulu, that really happening? 299 00:14:01,389 --> 00:14:03,889 Listen, you need to let this go. 300 00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:05,824 You're too pretty to give good head. 301 00:14:05,826 --> 00:14:09,197 Never had to work for it. I'm just not that into you. 302 00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:11,931 When you're banging Chairman Mao, 303 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,632 do you think of me the whole time 304 00:14:13,634 --> 00:14:15,168 or just during climax? 305 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,868 Which I can only assume happens 306 00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:18,570 while he's neatly folding clothes in the other room. 307 00:14:18,572 --> 00:14:21,974 Is neatness even a racial stereotype? 308 00:14:21,976 --> 00:14:23,809 If it's not, it should be, right? 309 00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:26,779 I don't fuck racists. Bye, Felicia. 310 00:14:26,781 --> 00:14:28,280 Cold, cold. 311 00:14:28,282 --> 00:14:30,315 Football is in my possession, RTV, over. 312 00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:33,118 Copy that. Callahan's on his way to your office, sir. 313 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,257 He's got money from the first round of photo ops. 314 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,394 Is it true he's a Navy Seal? 315 00:14:41,396 --> 00:14:43,663 What? I'm surrounded by idiots. 316 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,197 We're still having that little issue. 317 00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:46,766 - Copy that. - Back over there. 318 00:14:46,768 --> 00:14:49,468 Okay. Seth Green, sir, he needs a new chair. 319 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,840 He's too short, evidently. 320 00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:55,341 Saw the legs off the table. Shit. 321 00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:58,044 That's a good idea, sir. Um, one more thing. 322 00:14:58,046 --> 00:15:00,146 Adam King is flirting with our interns, 323 00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:02,883 and she's only 15, Gil. 324 00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:07,420 First off, my name is Mr. Bartell. 325 00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:09,054 Oh. 326 00:15:09,056 --> 00:15:11,089 Yeah. Second of all, 327 00:15:11,091 --> 00:15:14,828 my man Adam King is signing for four hours each day. 328 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:19,033 We move 10 mouth-breathers through the line a minute. 329 00:15:20,268 --> 00:15:24,371 He gets $75 per signature or a photo. 330 00:15:24,373 --> 00:15:27,372 That's roughly about $180,000 per day. 331 00:15:27,374 --> 00:15:29,574 120 grand to me. 332 00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:32,846 And 420 grand to him. 333 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,580 Green is for the money and what? 334 00:15:35,582 --> 00:15:37,282 Gold is for the honey. 335 00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:47,059 Every time he's not signing autographs and taking photos, 336 00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,527 you're literally taking money out of my pocket. 337 00:15:49,529 --> 00:15:51,030 No, sir, I wouldn't... 338 00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:53,535 Wait. How much does Adam King charge? 339 00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:57,306 Go pick it up. 340 00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:00,272 - Now? - Let's go, let's go! 341 00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:01,542 Yes, sir! 342 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,852 - How'd the panel go? - Could've gone better. 343 00:16:13,854 --> 00:16:15,755 You know, these fucking things are making way more money 344 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,189 than we are this weekend. 345 00:16:17,191 --> 00:16:18,690 My show ran for four seasons, 346 00:16:18,692 --> 00:16:21,861 and those four wheels of shiny wax shit 347 00:16:21,863 --> 00:16:23,729 broke down every episode. 348 00:16:23,731 --> 00:16:25,530 One of 'em blew up once. 349 00:16:25,532 --> 00:16:28,299 For no reason at all. Just kaboom! 350 00:16:28,301 --> 00:16:29,671 Hey, this is weed. 351 00:16:30,537 --> 00:16:32,039 Are you a cop? 352 00:16:34,274 --> 00:16:35,775 Where the hell is Wheeler? 353 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,713 He forgot something in his room. 354 00:16:38,613 --> 00:16:39,945 He's taking a shit. 355 00:16:39,947 --> 00:16:43,082 Oh, my God. 356 00:16:45,753 --> 00:16:47,888 I gotta call you back, Dad. 357 00:16:57,531 --> 00:17:00,032 I know. You're speechless. 358 00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:02,737 Thought we were getting an Uber. 359 00:17:04,104 --> 00:17:07,039 Everyone, meet Mr. Sean and Mr. Robert. 360 00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,742 - Hey, guys. - Together, they are NerdGasm. 361 00:17:09,744 --> 00:17:12,043 To call these gentlemen "fans" would be an insult. 362 00:17:12,045 --> 00:17:15,981 I like to think of them as men among boys. 363 00:17:15,983 --> 00:17:19,385 Can I ask you guys, the experts, a Con question? 364 00:17:19,387 --> 00:17:22,120 Adam King, awesome or asshole? 365 00:17:22,122 --> 00:17:23,722 Wait, you mean Captain James W. Slade? 366 00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:25,457 Right. Asshole, right? 367 00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,626 AKA Future Force's Golden Guardian? 368 00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:29,898 Or Tex Johnson... 369 00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,030 US Marshal? 370 00:17:32,032 --> 00:17:34,166 Uh, he's awesome. 371 00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:41,075 Tell me, do you guys pick up girls in this thing? 372 00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:43,341 It's like Spanish Fly. 373 00:17:43,343 --> 00:17:45,045 It's a panty-dropper. 374 00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:49,549 Dorks. 375 00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,649 By the way, where are we going? 376 00:17:51,651 --> 00:17:53,519 You guys like barbecue, crawfish? 377 00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:55,620 I like Applebee's. 378 00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:57,755 Yeah, it's just like that. 379 00:17:57,757 --> 00:17:59,724 You gotta take a left right here. 380 00:17:59,726 --> 00:18:03,162 Since we're all here, you know, Sean and I, we do a podcast. 381 00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:05,431 It's called NerdGasm, F-T-Dub. 382 00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:07,566 - Never miss it. - Yeah? 383 00:18:07,568 --> 00:18:09,068 - Uh-huh. - I thought of the name. 384 00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:11,303 We wanted all you guys to be on it. 385 00:18:11,305 --> 00:18:12,704 Love to. 386 00:18:12,706 --> 00:18:13,806 Allison's gonna need a small mike. 387 00:18:13,808 --> 00:18:15,607 She likes small mikes. 388 00:18:15,609 --> 00:18:17,609 There's a smaller red one, 389 00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:19,078 or we got a big black one up here. 390 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,512 Kid-size? 391 00:18:20,514 --> 00:18:21,746 - We can see what we got. - Baby mikes? 392 00:18:21,748 --> 00:18:23,182 Party size. 393 00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:24,482 Party. There you go. 394 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:25,986 Better for anal. 395 00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:32,759 So is that a yes, or is that a... 396 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:34,961 Well, you know Matt did say we'd do it, so... 397 00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:36,828 Great! Three, two, one. 398 00:18:39,399 --> 00:18:41,366 Oh, check the levels. 399 00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:42,601 Oh, you mean now. 400 00:18:42,603 --> 00:18:44,136 Levels, Sean! 401 00:18:44,138 --> 00:18:48,240 Hi-yo, you NerdGasmics, nerd-a-maniacs, 402 00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:54,113 - tuning into our podcast... - For the win! 403 00:18:54,115 --> 00:18:57,482 As always, it's your boy Hot Rob and the Seanster. 404 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,685 - 'Sup. - Coming to you live 405 00:18:59,687 --> 00:19:02,187 from the cockpit of the shuttle craft. 406 00:19:02,189 --> 00:19:04,423 - You say cock? - I didn't say cock. 407 00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:06,759 Cock-a-doodle-do, we are right here, gentlemen. 408 00:19:08,663 --> 00:19:10,796 What the fuck? 409 00:19:10,798 --> 00:19:13,201 Look at this piece of shit. 410 00:19:14,301 --> 00:19:16,271 This doesn't look like Applebee's. 411 00:19:17,371 --> 00:19:19,305 Hey, nice ride, Captain Kirk. 412 00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,240 Set your phasers to fag. 413 00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:22,709 Whoo! 414 00:19:22,711 --> 00:19:24,976 Hey, man, sorry! We gotta go! Bye-bye! 415 00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:26,013 Yeah! 416 00:19:30,417 --> 00:19:32,253 I think you dropped this. 417 00:19:38,059 --> 00:19:39,060 Queers. 418 00:19:40,561 --> 00:19:41,961 Fuck you. 419 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,796 Dude, what the fuck was that, man? 420 00:19:43,798 --> 00:19:46,165 That guy looked like my dad. I don't need that shit, man. 421 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:48,166 - Fuck you, man. - That was ball cancer kid? 422 00:19:48,168 --> 00:19:49,667 Aw, fuck. 423 00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:51,205 Called respect. 424 00:19:52,173 --> 00:19:53,606 Respect. 425 00:19:53,608 --> 00:19:55,543 Ball cancer got balls. Respect! 426 00:19:57,744 --> 00:20:00,311 Fuck! That was my last beer. 427 00:20:00,313 --> 00:20:01,880 There's been a rumor going around 428 00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:04,249 that Dragon-Con was robbed of 100 grand 429 00:20:04,251 --> 00:20:07,185 by some guys dressed up like stormtroopers. 430 00:20:07,187 --> 00:20:08,988 New Hope or Force Awakens? 431 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,589 - Does it matter? - It matters. 432 00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,357 New Hope, okay? Stay with me. 433 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:13,992 It's an urban legend. 434 00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:17,363 Bullshit. I heard it from a very reliable source. 435 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:18,629 Her pot dealer. 436 00:20:18,631 --> 00:20:20,933 Medical marijuana provider. 437 00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:22,734 What's the story? 438 00:20:22,736 --> 00:20:26,571 Evidently the guy, or guys, walked in 439 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:30,809 and held up the con office, like Pulp Fiction. 440 00:20:30,811 --> 00:20:33,279 They grabbed the cash, 441 00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:36,014 and then they escaped 442 00:20:36,016 --> 00:20:38,483 by slipping into the big cosplay parade 443 00:20:38,485 --> 00:20:41,854 that takes over downtown Atlanta every year. 444 00:20:41,856 --> 00:20:44,092 They timed it so perfectly... 445 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:51,099 They blended in seamlessly with the 501st Legion. 446 00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,598 Clean getaway. 447 00:20:58,773 --> 00:21:00,341 Oh, fuck. 448 00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:04,878 Not this fucking guy. Here? 449 00:21:05,846 --> 00:21:08,513 I gotta throw a piss. 450 00:21:08,515 --> 00:21:11,015 - Look who that is. - How do you throw a piss? 451 00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:12,984 - Oh! - You leave a piss. 452 00:21:12,986 --> 00:21:15,253 - Maybe he doesn't hold it. - You throw a party. 453 00:21:15,255 --> 00:21:17,723 Oh, my God. Maybe it's a piss party. 454 00:21:17,725 --> 00:21:20,193 Hadji! 455 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,427 What kinda trouble you getting into now, son? 456 00:21:22,429 --> 00:21:25,196 Oh, you're not eating pork, are you, Mahar? 457 00:21:25,198 --> 00:21:26,964 Aren't all the other cabbies gonna get pissed 458 00:21:26,966 --> 00:21:29,135 that you're chowing down on the sacred cow? 459 00:21:29,137 --> 00:21:32,137 Cow, pork, same thing, right? Fucking idiot. 460 00:21:32,139 --> 00:21:34,840 Oh, Allison, looking stunning as usual. 461 00:21:34,842 --> 00:21:36,675 Brock Hutchinson, you old queen. 462 00:21:36,677 --> 00:21:39,780 What are you doing hanging out with the supporting cast, huh? 463 00:21:41,782 --> 00:21:43,449 I haven't seen an asshole this big 464 00:21:43,451 --> 00:21:45,084 since Andy Dick's Christmas party. 465 00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:48,119 - Good call. - Yeah. 466 00:21:48,121 --> 00:21:50,690 Hey, listen, Adam, we're about to leave. 467 00:21:50,692 --> 00:21:53,091 Excuse me, are you Adam King? 468 00:21:53,093 --> 00:21:54,859 - Hold on, hold on. - Adam Future Force King? 469 00:21:54,861 --> 00:21:56,261 Not right now, player. Not right now. 470 00:21:56,263 --> 00:21:57,495 Good eye, kid. 471 00:21:57,497 --> 00:21:58,830 Can I shake... 472 00:21:58,832 --> 00:21:59,999 - Gil, it's okay. - I can't... 473 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:01,700 It's okay, Gil, it's okay. 474 00:22:01,702 --> 00:22:04,336 I just wanna... Oh, my God. 475 00:22:04,338 --> 00:22:07,071 - Sir, I'm an actor too. - Where did he come from? 476 00:22:07,073 --> 00:22:09,540 I've learned so much from watching your shows. 477 00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:11,175 Do you teach an acting class or something? 478 00:22:11,177 --> 00:22:13,645 - We'd love to take it. - Fuck me. 479 00:22:13,647 --> 00:22:15,780 I'll give you one for free. 480 00:22:15,782 --> 00:22:18,686 From one great actor to another actor, 481 00:22:19,753 --> 00:22:22,053 those that can't, teach. 482 00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:25,723 I learned everything I needed from the streets, kid. 483 00:22:25,725 --> 00:22:27,092 Is it true that you turned down 484 00:22:27,094 --> 00:22:29,228 the role of John McClane in Die Hard? 485 00:22:29,230 --> 00:22:30,963 Let me tell you something. 486 00:22:30,965 --> 00:22:34,165 The King can't be upstaged by a skyscraper. 487 00:22:34,167 --> 00:22:37,569 Ah! Nakatomi ain't got nothing on the King. 488 00:22:37,571 --> 00:22:41,208 Well, you just keep doing that awesome thing you do. 489 00:22:42,877 --> 00:22:45,480 Got no other choice, kid. 490 00:22:48,916 --> 00:22:51,216 Yeah, dude! Come on, man! 491 00:22:51,218 --> 00:22:54,054 All right, come on. Let's get something to eat, huh? 492 00:22:54,888 --> 00:22:56,387 You'll never make it, Wheeler. 493 00:22:56,389 --> 00:22:59,558 - Never in life. - Let's get some chow, huh? 494 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,293 I suggest we get outta here. 495 00:23:01,295 --> 00:23:04,131 - Let's go see DJ Chardonnay. - Copy that. 496 00:23:07,167 --> 00:23:10,970 What a fucking racist, homophobic prick. 497 00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:14,475 He used to do the same shit to me on set when I was 10 years old. 498 00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:17,811 He'll get his. 499 00:23:18,846 --> 00:23:21,182 Might be sooner rather than later. 500 00:23:53,046 --> 00:23:54,981 And she's gonna tell us all about 501 00:23:54,983 --> 00:23:57,082 her favorite hat pattern. 502 00:23:57,084 --> 00:24:00,351 - Oh, thank you! - Good to have you on the show. 503 00:24:00,353 --> 00:24:02,287 It's nice to meet you, finally. 504 00:24:02,289 --> 00:24:04,088 I've been working on this for a while. 505 00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,691 It's a basket-weave hat, 506 00:24:05,693 --> 00:24:08,659 like you make the basket-weave for the baby blankets. 507 00:24:08,661 --> 00:24:10,328 Well, I have always loved that pattern. 508 00:24:10,330 --> 00:24:12,397 All right, I got something 509 00:24:12,399 --> 00:24:13,965 that's gonna turn this night around. 510 00:24:13,967 --> 00:24:16,070 All I'm offering 511 00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,069 is the truth. 512 00:24:18,071 --> 00:24:19,873 Nothing more. 513 00:24:20,808 --> 00:24:22,273 How can we refuse? 514 00:24:22,275 --> 00:24:23,642 Brock? 515 00:24:23,644 --> 00:24:26,013 Mmm. I'm in. 516 00:24:27,415 --> 00:24:28,482 What are they? 517 00:24:28,948 --> 00:24:30,384 Does it matter? 518 00:24:31,985 --> 00:24:33,851 Swear to God, if this is Viagra, 519 00:24:33,853 --> 00:24:36,321 we're gonna find out if Brock's a power bottom or not. 520 00:25:45,025 --> 00:25:47,158 Attention, Supercon, 521 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,228 the Klingon linguistics panel has been changed to... 522 00:25:52,331 --> 00:25:54,199 You look like hammered shit. 523 00:25:54,201 --> 00:25:56,867 I think I might've fucked a chicken last night. 524 00:25:56,869 --> 00:25:58,604 Been there. 525 00:25:58,606 --> 00:26:01,906 It's all a blur. The last thing I remember is... 526 00:26:01,908 --> 00:26:03,642 The Dixie Pig. 527 00:26:03,644 --> 00:26:05,280 From last night. 528 00:26:10,952 --> 00:26:13,154 Motherfucker! 529 00:26:23,097 --> 00:26:24,829 You know, you're a real fucking asshole. 530 00:26:24,831 --> 00:26:28,867 Guess that barbecue sauce is going to leave a mark, Hadji. 531 00:26:28,869 --> 00:26:30,338 Don't fuck with the King. 532 00:26:31,405 --> 00:26:32,771 Yeah. 533 00:26:32,773 --> 00:26:37,041 Ball cancer kid. Ball cancer kid. 534 00:26:37,043 --> 00:26:40,311 Ball cancer kid. Ball cancer kid. 535 00:26:40,313 --> 00:26:43,415 Ball cancer kid. Ball cancer kid. 536 00:26:43,417 --> 00:26:46,952 Ball cancer kid. Ball cancer kid. 537 00:26:46,954 --> 00:26:50,090 Ball cancer kid. Ball cancer kid. 538 00:26:51,725 --> 00:26:53,826 I'm telling you, man, he fucked a chicken. 539 00:26:53,828 --> 00:26:55,029 Wasn't pretty. 540 00:26:56,163 --> 00:26:58,430 What you do, I guess. 541 00:26:58,432 --> 00:27:01,200 Mm. Ned Stark, right? 542 00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,467 And that 'fro is on fire, my man. 543 00:27:02,469 --> 00:27:04,204 Keep it hard, Mr. Cronin. 544 00:27:04,938 --> 00:27:06,504 Keep it hard. 545 00:27:06,506 --> 00:27:07,706 How you feeling? 546 00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:09,941 Day two, guys. How are you doing? 547 00:27:09,943 --> 00:27:12,610 Oh, hey, it's big day. 548 00:27:12,612 --> 00:27:14,646 You know, lots of people to meet, 549 00:27:14,648 --> 00:27:15,848 lots to get signed. 550 00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:17,217 I missed you guys last night. 551 00:27:18,349 --> 00:27:19,350 - We could've used you. - Really? 552 00:27:19,352 --> 00:27:21,685 Attention, security, please report to section three. 553 00:27:21,687 --> 00:27:24,656 Oh, no, whoa. That's King's section. 554 00:27:24,658 --> 00:27:28,026 How the fuck do you know that? 555 00:27:28,028 --> 00:27:30,328 I mean, come on, if there's anything I know this weekend, 556 00:27:30,330 --> 00:27:31,963 it's who's at what table. 557 00:27:31,965 --> 00:27:34,499 This guy. 558 00:27:34,501 --> 00:27:36,768 Security, report to section three. 559 00:27:36,770 --> 00:27:38,002 Oh, shit. 560 00:27:38,004 --> 00:27:41,306 Ball cancer kid! Ball cancer kid! 561 00:27:41,308 --> 00:27:43,841 Ball cancer kid! Ball cancer kid! 562 00:27:43,843 --> 00:27:46,780 - Fuck you! - Hey, what the fuck is wrong... 563 00:27:47,580 --> 00:27:50,650 That's the last time, Hadji. 564 00:27:55,921 --> 00:27:57,990 You piece of shit! 565 00:27:57,992 --> 00:27:59,724 Not the face! Not the... You... 566 00:27:59,726 --> 00:28:01,326 You fucking... Stop it, stop it! 567 00:28:01,328 --> 00:28:03,729 Break it up. 568 00:28:03,731 --> 00:28:05,964 Stop it! Come on, man. Break it up! 569 00:28:05,966 --> 00:28:07,667 Stop! Stop it! 570 00:28:08,135 --> 00:28:09,637 Eww. 571 00:28:15,208 --> 00:28:16,609 Oh, no. 572 00:28:17,244 --> 00:28:19,080 That's barbecue sauce? 573 00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:21,946 Keith and King got in a fight. 574 00:28:21,948 --> 00:28:24,049 More of a mud wrestle. 575 00:28:24,051 --> 00:28:26,318 Gil got involved. It got ugly. 576 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,086 And he fired the three of us. 577 00:28:28,088 --> 00:28:29,523 All three of you? 578 00:28:31,725 --> 00:28:33,558 Where's Gil? 579 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,860 Is it really that bad? He's upset with me? 580 00:28:35,862 --> 00:28:37,494 What kinda shit is that? 581 00:28:37,496 --> 00:28:39,330 He's really upset that he... 582 00:28:39,332 --> 00:28:41,067 Do you really wanna be with him? 583 00:28:41,069 --> 00:28:43,033 I mean, be honest. 584 00:28:43,035 --> 00:28:45,636 You are living proof that evolution works in reverse. 585 00:28:45,638 --> 00:28:47,705 How you gonna fix this, Gil, huh? 586 00:28:47,707 --> 00:28:49,540 Come on. Shock me with an intelligent answer. 587 00:28:49,542 --> 00:28:52,644 - Blow my mind. - I fired everybody's ass. 588 00:28:52,646 --> 00:28:53,945 Ehh! Wrong. 589 00:28:53,947 --> 00:28:56,181 That is YP, not MP. 590 00:28:56,183 --> 00:28:58,215 - Your problem, not my problem. - I got it. 591 00:28:58,217 --> 00:29:00,152 See? Even she knows what I'm talking about. 592 00:29:00,154 --> 00:29:01,685 - Picture this. - Aw, man! 593 00:29:01,687 --> 00:29:04,589 Hundreds of sweaty, obese single parents, 594 00:29:04,591 --> 00:29:07,659 the walking fucking dead with their fat little fingers 595 00:29:07,661 --> 00:29:10,761 holding illiterate crayon signs saying, 596 00:29:10,763 --> 00:29:13,232 "Supercon sucks." 597 00:29:13,234 --> 00:29:15,867 No! Why? What? 598 00:29:15,869 --> 00:29:17,437 Leave. 599 00:29:24,311 --> 00:29:25,644 Can I have a hug? 600 00:29:26,746 --> 00:29:28,349 I just want a... 601 00:29:29,215 --> 00:29:31,250 You usually hug me. 602 00:29:34,353 --> 00:29:38,022 Oh, what fools these mortals be... 603 00:29:38,024 --> 00:29:40,125 Or not to be. 604 00:29:40,127 --> 00:29:41,960 That is the question. 605 00:29:41,962 --> 00:29:43,763 Shakespeare, baby. 606 00:29:45,666 --> 00:29:50,303 I might have to ask you for something very special. 607 00:29:51,871 --> 00:29:53,273 Lucky me. 608 00:29:53,773 --> 00:29:54,908 Yes. 609 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:59,243 - Uh, Gil. - What do you want today? 610 00:29:59,245 --> 00:30:01,046 It was all my fault, okay? 611 00:30:01,048 --> 00:30:03,915 Fuck. Listen, you can't fire my friends. 612 00:30:03,917 --> 00:30:05,517 You gotta un-fire 'em. 613 00:30:05,519 --> 00:30:07,118 I ain't got time for your shit today, Wheeler. 614 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,288 Well, I'm telling you, man, this shit's gonna come out 615 00:30:09,290 --> 00:30:11,356 no matter how you wanna play it. 616 00:30:11,358 --> 00:30:16,060 Gil, listen, man, you can't fire Allison, Brock, and Keith 617 00:30:16,062 --> 00:30:17,695 for something I fucking did. 618 00:30:17,697 --> 00:30:19,263 Watch your tone. It's my convention. 619 00:30:19,265 --> 00:30:20,732 I'll do what the fuck I want with it. 620 00:30:20,734 --> 00:30:22,401 But you got it all wrong, man. 621 00:30:22,403 --> 00:30:23,801 Talking about my friends, Gil. 622 00:30:23,803 --> 00:30:25,569 - Yeah, yeah, your friends? - My friends. 623 00:30:25,571 --> 00:30:27,338 Really, yeah, whatever, your friends. 624 00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:30,041 Where... All the fucking XLs are gone? Shit. 625 00:30:30,043 --> 00:30:32,743 Hello. How are you? I'm Matt Wheeler. 626 00:30:32,745 --> 00:30:34,913 It's lovely to meet you and all your cash. 627 00:30:34,915 --> 00:30:36,115 Wow! 628 00:30:36,117 --> 00:30:38,786 Wow. Is this all the Con cash? 629 00:30:40,786 --> 00:30:43,355 Stop touching shit, all right? 630 00:30:43,357 --> 00:30:45,523 - This is crazy. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 631 00:30:45,525 --> 00:30:48,761 Your eyes, your eyes, avert 'em, right here. 632 00:30:48,763 --> 00:30:51,396 This cash that you see? This is mine. 633 00:30:51,398 --> 00:30:54,332 Your fucking buddy last night went and drew a big-ass cock 634 00:30:54,334 --> 00:30:56,201 on Adam's car. 635 00:30:56,203 --> 00:30:57,669 He assaulted him. 636 00:30:57,671 --> 00:31:00,504 Keith couldn't assault a freaking turtle, man. 637 00:31:00,506 --> 00:31:01,973 - Yeah, yeah, right. - If he did, it's 'cause King 638 00:31:01,975 --> 00:31:04,542 was slapping his balls time and time again. 639 00:31:04,544 --> 00:31:07,044 I could've had your ass arrested. 640 00:31:07,046 --> 00:31:09,013 That's right, but I didn't send you to jail. 641 00:31:09,015 --> 00:31:11,183 - You could've got... What? - Ten years. 642 00:31:11,185 --> 00:31:13,721 But I did something a little lighter for you. 643 00:31:15,156 --> 00:31:16,590 You're fired. 644 00:31:18,492 --> 00:31:20,125 You're fucking fired. 645 00:31:20,127 --> 00:31:21,960 And you and your little loser-ass friends 646 00:31:21,962 --> 00:31:25,330 don't ever, ever come back to Supercon again. 647 00:31:25,332 --> 00:31:28,133 You're a fucking idiot. You're banned. 648 00:31:28,135 --> 00:31:31,603 And you'll never work the Southern cities like, uh... 649 00:31:31,605 --> 00:31:33,137 - Dallas. - Dallas. 650 00:31:33,139 --> 00:31:34,973 - Houston. - Houston. You love Houston. 651 00:31:34,975 --> 00:31:36,707 - Dustin. - Dustin. 652 00:31:36,709 --> 00:31:38,376 - Fucking New Orleans. - Baton Rouge. 653 00:31:38,378 --> 00:31:39,845 Best seafood in the world. Baton Rouge. 654 00:31:39,847 --> 00:31:40,944 You're just throwing out cities. 655 00:31:40,946 --> 00:31:41,849 The boot, bitch. 656 00:31:48,254 --> 00:31:49,689 You're an idiot. 657 00:31:51,559 --> 00:31:53,360 You're banned. 658 00:31:55,495 --> 00:31:56,964 For life. 659 00:31:59,233 --> 00:32:00,831 You know, one of these days, 660 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:03,667 - all this shit, all of it... - Yeah? 661 00:32:03,669 --> 00:32:05,270 It's gonna catch up with you. 662 00:32:05,272 --> 00:32:06,739 Yeah? 663 00:32:06,741 --> 00:32:08,776 And I'm gonna be right there to see it. 664 00:32:28,861 --> 00:32:31,629 Do you piss or shit yourself when you get tased? 665 00:32:31,631 --> 00:32:33,397 'Cause you fucking smell like both. 666 00:32:33,399 --> 00:32:36,568 Speaking of which, I gotta take the bus back home. 667 00:32:36,570 --> 00:32:38,470 You ever been on a fucking Greyhound? 668 00:32:38,472 --> 00:32:39,773 Mm-hmm. 669 00:32:42,341 --> 00:32:43,843 Another round, Aaron. 670 00:32:44,611 --> 00:32:47,314 The bartender. That's classy. 671 00:32:48,447 --> 00:32:51,115 Even he has a better shot than you. 672 00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:53,753 Well, at least we all got fired together. 673 00:32:55,554 --> 00:32:57,222 What fucking kills me 674 00:32:57,224 --> 00:33:00,291 is that Gil's making so much money off of everyone, 675 00:33:00,293 --> 00:33:03,528 that he needs the cash machines from Scarface to count it all. 676 00:33:03,530 --> 00:33:06,598 - It's insane. - Shit ain't right. 677 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,735 You can't win if the game's rigged. 678 00:33:12,339 --> 00:33:13,941 I got an idea. 679 00:33:18,445 --> 00:33:21,615 Oh, I hope that's not what he sounds like when he comes. 680 00:33:22,916 --> 00:33:24,749 Why are we meeting in here? 681 00:33:24,751 --> 00:33:26,818 Because it's a gym during a comic convention. 682 00:33:26,820 --> 00:33:28,653 This room is safer than the White House. 683 00:33:28,655 --> 00:33:30,121 Yeah, but what are we doing in here, Matt? 684 00:33:30,123 --> 00:33:32,089 Hey, I'm not just gonna blurt it out. 685 00:33:32,091 --> 00:33:33,692 I'm gonna seduce you. 686 00:33:33,694 --> 00:33:35,393 Things are gonna get moist in here, my friends. 687 00:33:35,395 --> 00:33:36,627 Very moist. 688 00:33:36,629 --> 00:33:38,128 All right, well, spit on it 689 00:33:38,130 --> 00:33:39,132 and put it in already, for fuck's sakes. 690 00:33:44,772 --> 00:33:46,773 Let's rob Supercon. 691 00:33:53,013 --> 00:33:54,780 - The fuck did he just say? - Excuse me? 692 00:33:54,782 --> 00:33:56,080 I'm in. 693 00:33:56,082 --> 00:33:57,515 What'd you give him last night? 694 00:33:57,517 --> 00:33:59,417 Oh, she gave me hope, baby. 695 00:33:59,419 --> 00:34:01,453 We all know Gil is the motherfucking 696 00:34:01,455 --> 00:34:03,588 Tony Montana of Supercon. 697 00:34:03,590 --> 00:34:05,123 Do you remember what she said 698 00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:07,157 about the stormtroopers robbing Dragoncon? 699 00:34:07,159 --> 00:34:08,795 - Yeah. - We dress up, 700 00:34:09,462 --> 00:34:11,029 we steal the stash, 701 00:34:11,031 --> 00:34:14,032 and we walk out like nothing every happened. 702 00:34:14,034 --> 00:34:17,735 You wanna steal everyone's payout money? 703 00:34:17,737 --> 00:34:21,204 - You dick. - No. That's the sexy part. 704 00:34:21,206 --> 00:34:25,242 Allison, Gil pays out everyone working the Con Sunday morning, 705 00:34:25,244 --> 00:34:28,212 right before we all start catching flights or buses home. 706 00:34:28,214 --> 00:34:30,982 He pays out everyone, except Adam King, 707 00:34:30,984 --> 00:34:34,786 'cause his humongous panel is Sunday 2 p.m., the last day. 708 00:34:34,788 --> 00:34:37,087 So the only cash left in the office will be... 709 00:34:37,089 --> 00:34:39,391 - Gil's money. - And King's money. 710 00:34:39,393 --> 00:34:40,858 Bringo. 711 00:34:40,860 --> 00:34:42,726 I'm in. 712 00:34:42,728 --> 00:34:44,462 Yeah, but the cops will catch us in a heartbeat. 713 00:34:44,464 --> 00:34:45,831 You bet your flabby ass they would, 714 00:34:45,833 --> 00:34:47,299 but who's calling the cops, man? 715 00:34:47,301 --> 00:34:49,134 IRS will be all over him, 716 00:34:49,136 --> 00:34:51,469 plus an audit would show that he's been skimming off the top 717 00:34:51,471 --> 00:34:52,840 all these years. 718 00:34:53,306 --> 00:34:54,607 I'm in. 719 00:34:56,942 --> 00:34:58,946 You're nuts. 720 00:34:59,346 --> 00:35:00,748 Talk to me. 721 00:35:01,415 --> 00:35:02,713 I'm outta here. 722 00:35:02,715 --> 00:35:04,415 Enjoy your heist there, Danny Ocean. 723 00:35:04,417 --> 00:35:06,351 - Where you going, little lady? - I got a bus to catch. 724 00:35:06,353 --> 00:35:08,954 Your idea fucking sucks, and my ass isn't that flabby. 725 00:35:08,956 --> 00:35:11,755 You didn't even hear the plan, Casey Affleck. 726 00:35:11,757 --> 00:35:13,058 I heard enough, and Casey Affleck 727 00:35:13,060 --> 00:35:15,625 is easily the better Affleck. 728 00:35:15,627 --> 00:35:17,130 Later, fuckface. 729 00:35:18,364 --> 00:35:21,734 Go get him. Go get him. 730 00:35:24,103 --> 00:35:25,705 Don't move. 731 00:35:33,013 --> 00:35:35,815 Keith, wait up, you big puss. 732 00:35:37,016 --> 00:35:38,782 At least hear the plan first, Keith. 733 00:35:38,784 --> 00:35:41,052 You did enough, man, all right? 734 00:35:41,054 --> 00:35:43,454 You just got me fired from my only fucking source of income, 735 00:35:43,456 --> 00:35:46,190 and now you want me to go to prison, for five to ten years? Fuck that. 736 00:35:46,192 --> 00:35:49,393 I needed the fucking money from this weekend. 737 00:35:49,395 --> 00:35:52,230 Look, your share of the money from this plan, 738 00:35:52,232 --> 00:35:55,032 you're gonna be a very wealthy terrorist, my friend. 739 00:35:55,034 --> 00:35:57,268 I don't know if you know this, but you're a white guy. 740 00:35:57,270 --> 00:36:00,137 You have all the opportunities in the world in Hollywood. 741 00:36:00,139 --> 00:36:01,306 I don't have shit. 742 00:36:01,308 --> 00:36:02,639 You could be a leading man. 743 00:36:02,641 --> 00:36:04,141 You could be a fucking supporting role. 744 00:36:04,143 --> 00:36:06,945 You can be a Japanese woman if you needed to be. 745 00:36:06,947 --> 00:36:08,679 I was a series regular for five years 746 00:36:08,681 --> 00:36:10,282 on fucking Tex Johnson, 747 00:36:10,284 --> 00:36:12,317 and my parents took every dime I made. 748 00:36:12,319 --> 00:36:15,052 These conventions are the only thing that give me any money, 749 00:36:15,054 --> 00:36:17,721 and thanks to you, I don't even have that anymore. 750 00:36:17,723 --> 00:36:19,389 I haven't worked in over a fucking year, 751 00:36:19,391 --> 00:36:20,826 and I just lost my agent. 752 00:36:21,161 --> 00:36:22,360 Why? 753 00:36:22,362 --> 00:36:24,094 'Cause she's a fucking asshole. 754 00:36:24,096 --> 00:36:25,896 She keeps wanting me to go out for these auditions 755 00:36:25,898 --> 00:36:28,567 for Terrorist Number One and fucking Cab Driver 756 00:36:28,569 --> 00:36:30,268 and 7-Eleven and Call Center. 757 00:36:30,270 --> 00:36:31,837 Well, with your share of the money, 758 00:36:31,839 --> 00:36:33,538 you can buy a 7-Eleven. 759 00:36:33,540 --> 00:36:35,373 I don't need a fucking 7-Eleven! 760 00:36:35,375 --> 00:36:38,576 I'm not going to jail 'cause I'll be a fucking candy bar. 761 00:36:38,578 --> 00:36:40,177 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 762 00:36:40,179 --> 00:36:42,813 I'm sorry that every acting job you go out for 763 00:36:42,815 --> 00:36:44,616 is for some racist shit. 764 00:36:44,618 --> 00:36:46,751 But you can't just walk away. 765 00:36:46,753 --> 00:36:48,386 Who wrote Harry Potter? 766 00:36:48,388 --> 00:36:49,755 Some fucking bitch in England. 767 00:36:49,757 --> 00:36:52,357 You mean J.K. Rowling? 768 00:36:52,359 --> 00:36:53,958 - Yeah, you fucking dork. - Yeah, thanks! 769 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,995 - J.K. Fucking Rowling. - Dumbledore! 770 00:36:58,697 --> 00:37:02,632 She wrote that book after her husband left her stone cold. 771 00:37:02,634 --> 00:37:04,536 J.K. had no money. 772 00:37:04,538 --> 00:37:06,603 J.K. had a baby to feed. 773 00:37:06,605 --> 00:37:08,239 J.K. had to go on welfare. 774 00:37:08,241 --> 00:37:09,741 J.K. didn't rob anybody. 775 00:37:09,743 --> 00:37:11,342 She wrote a children's fucking book. 776 00:37:11,344 --> 00:37:13,378 J.K. grew some balls. 777 00:37:13,380 --> 00:37:15,380 And that's what I'm talking about. 778 00:37:15,382 --> 00:37:19,717 'Cause if you walk, the Gils, the Adam Kings of the world, 779 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,286 they beat you. 780 00:37:21,288 --> 00:37:24,922 It's time for you to grow some big, hairy... 781 00:37:24,924 --> 00:37:26,726 Harry Potter balls. 782 00:37:28,929 --> 00:37:30,664 Can you do that? 783 00:37:36,502 --> 00:37:38,171 With or without cancer? 784 00:37:44,210 --> 00:37:46,714 You guys know this is a dumb idea, right? 785 00:37:47,413 --> 00:37:48,646 Oh, yeah, we do. 786 00:37:48,648 --> 00:37:49,949 I'm in. 787 00:38:13,172 --> 00:38:15,373 You forgot one thing, ugly. 788 00:38:15,375 --> 00:38:18,842 Never underestimate Future Force. 789 00:38:18,844 --> 00:38:21,212 All right, Guardians... 790 00:38:21,214 --> 00:38:23,349 - The bridge is secure. - Get the door. 791 00:38:24,116 --> 00:38:25,717 Babe, door. 792 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,351 Attack formation to the hangar. 793 00:38:27,353 --> 00:38:30,087 Sector seven, go. 794 00:38:32,592 --> 00:38:33,994 Hookers can't open doors? 795 00:38:37,831 --> 00:38:39,864 - Hey! - Oh, it's you. 796 00:38:41,935 --> 00:38:45,001 Hail to the King! 797 00:38:45,003 --> 00:38:47,005 I was looking for you in your hotel room. 798 00:38:47,007 --> 00:38:49,407 After the party last night, it was barely habitable. 799 00:38:49,409 --> 00:38:51,842 You're gonna get the bill. Don't get cheap on me, man. 800 00:38:51,844 --> 00:38:54,047 All right, yeah. 801 00:38:54,746 --> 00:38:56,547 So what's up, Gil? 802 00:38:56,549 --> 00:38:58,819 I thought you said you were gonna fix things around here. 803 00:38:59,485 --> 00:39:01,184 You know what, Mr. King? 804 00:39:01,186 --> 00:39:03,589 I'll assure you that I'ma get to the bottom of this. 805 00:39:08,427 --> 00:39:10,994 See, I could've killed you right there. 806 00:39:10,996 --> 00:39:12,630 You either had your hand in her ass 807 00:39:12,632 --> 00:39:13,965 or your ass won. 808 00:39:13,967 --> 00:39:16,000 Get your shit together, Gil. 809 00:39:16,002 --> 00:39:18,804 - Yeah, I gotta get it together. - All right. 810 00:39:18,806 --> 00:39:20,371 So what's the drop, fat man? 811 00:39:20,373 --> 00:39:23,708 Okay, last night, we made about 45 grand. 812 00:39:23,710 --> 00:39:25,844 That was before the incident. 813 00:39:25,846 --> 00:39:27,378 So we cool, we good. 814 00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:29,279 - No, no. - We made a little money. 815 00:39:29,281 --> 00:39:32,085 - We looking pretty cool. - No, not good enough, chief. 816 00:39:32,819 --> 00:39:35,954 Sorry. Jack it up. 817 00:39:35,956 --> 00:39:38,188 We should've made 75 grand this morning. 818 00:39:38,190 --> 00:39:40,858 Okay, okay, okay, I understand. 819 00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:43,194 - But you know the fans... - Fuck the fans. 820 00:39:43,196 --> 00:39:44,596 Those underweight knuckle-draggers 821 00:39:44,598 --> 00:39:46,230 will pay what I tell them to. 822 00:39:46,232 --> 00:39:49,601 You just... Gil, you gotta smile at 'em. 823 00:39:49,603 --> 00:39:50,800 All right. 824 00:39:50,802 --> 00:39:52,404 Smile right in their faces, 825 00:39:52,406 --> 00:39:55,572 and you reach around and grab their wallets, you see? 826 00:39:55,574 --> 00:39:57,407 I like that, I like that. 827 00:39:57,409 --> 00:39:59,009 Now, you know the cons, we never charge you... 828 00:39:59,011 --> 00:40:01,545 Stop! Shh. 829 00:40:01,547 --> 00:40:04,782 Shh, don't, don't talk, don't speak. 830 00:40:04,784 --> 00:40:06,386 Say my name. 831 00:40:06,918 --> 00:40:08,987 Adam King. 832 00:40:08,989 --> 00:40:11,221 Tex Johnson, US Marshal. 833 00:40:11,223 --> 00:40:14,393 The Golden Guardian, huh? 834 00:40:15,594 --> 00:40:18,998 Who ordered steak and lobster? 835 00:40:19,766 --> 00:40:21,165 Get your ass in here. 836 00:40:21,167 --> 00:40:23,634 - Come on, motherfucker. - Food's here. 837 00:40:23,636 --> 00:40:26,237 I have a lobster thermidor 838 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,306 and a porterhouse steak extra well-done. 839 00:40:28,308 --> 00:40:30,308 - Oh, yeah, all right. - For your food. 840 00:40:30,310 --> 00:40:33,947 Cristal and beluga. Yeah, there it is, there it is. 841 00:40:34,781 --> 00:40:37,681 Oh, where's my kiwi? 842 00:40:37,683 --> 00:40:39,616 Babe, what color is kiwi? 843 00:40:39,618 --> 00:40:41,518 Green, like money. 844 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:42,987 - That green? - No. 845 00:40:42,989 --> 00:40:44,422 Is that green? No. 846 00:40:44,424 --> 00:40:46,257 - All right, it's green. - Okay. 847 00:40:46,259 --> 00:40:48,125 Looks like a big mast of testicle. 848 00:40:48,127 --> 00:40:50,094 - Okay, I'll... - Kiwi. 849 00:40:50,096 --> 00:40:51,762 - See any kiwi? - Okay. 850 00:40:51,764 --> 00:40:53,998 - Gil will take care of it. - Yeah, come on, man. 851 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,599 - Here's the bill. - Fuck the bill. 852 00:40:55,601 --> 00:40:57,735 Get your ass out. Come on, Jonathan Winters. 853 00:40:57,737 --> 00:40:59,404 Get your ass outta here. 854 00:40:59,406 --> 00:41:02,105 Fuck you. Get outta here, Get your ass outta here. 855 00:41:02,107 --> 00:41:03,875 - Yeah, big fan, Mr. King. - Hey, fuck you. 856 00:41:03,877 --> 00:41:06,744 Your movies got me through a tough time in my childhood. 857 00:41:06,746 --> 00:41:09,313 Get your ass outta here. Eat a dick. 858 00:41:09,315 --> 00:41:10,447 Woo, woo! 859 00:41:10,449 --> 00:41:12,916 Yeah, take a number. Woo, woo. 860 00:41:12,918 --> 00:41:14,819 ♪♪ Pop a bottle 861 00:41:14,821 --> 00:41:17,054 ♪♪ Pop a bottle on a bitch 862 00:41:17,056 --> 00:41:19,224 - ♪♪ Pop a bottle on a bitch - Woo, woo. 863 00:41:19,226 --> 00:41:21,692 ♪♪ Pop a bottle on a bi... 864 00:41:21,694 --> 00:41:24,895 No, I wasn't calling your girl a bitch. 865 00:41:24,897 --> 00:41:28,232 It's a new song out called "Pop a Bottle." 866 00:41:28,234 --> 00:41:30,201 - 2 Chainz or one of them. - Open that. 867 00:41:30,203 --> 00:41:31,237 Okay. 868 00:41:33,406 --> 00:41:36,976 I know you all must have a ton of questions. 869 00:41:37,444 --> 00:41:38,579 You know, um... 870 00:41:39,378 --> 00:41:41,949 Brock, can you please not... 871 00:41:43,116 --> 00:41:45,516 Brock, just... Not now. 872 00:41:45,518 --> 00:41:47,418 I gotta concentrate. 873 00:41:47,420 --> 00:41:48,920 Time and a place. 874 00:41:48,922 --> 00:41:51,655 I got all the ins and outs covered, you know that. 875 00:41:51,657 --> 00:41:55,025 Ugh. I hope this plan is better than your pickup lines. 876 00:41:55,027 --> 00:41:56,726 Don't hold your breath. 877 00:41:56,728 --> 00:42:00,098 Look, we all know that when King leaves the stage, 878 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,898 he gets the fuck out of Dodge. 879 00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:05,036 But not before he hands Gil the autograph and photo money. 880 00:42:05,038 --> 00:42:06,203 Exactly. 881 00:42:06,205 --> 00:42:07,804 So we have to get that money 882 00:42:07,806 --> 00:42:09,873 before it gets backstage and into King's hands. 883 00:42:09,875 --> 00:42:11,310 Did you just... 884 00:42:12,744 --> 00:42:14,579 How do we do it? 885 00:42:14,581 --> 00:42:16,980 We start with Brock breaking into Gil's office 886 00:42:16,982 --> 00:42:18,648 through the air vents. 887 00:42:18,650 --> 00:42:21,451 When he gets to Gil's office, he rappels down... 888 00:42:21,453 --> 00:42:23,587 Think first Mission: Impossible... 889 00:42:23,589 --> 00:42:26,190 - And takes out Callahan... - Fatality. 890 00:42:26,192 --> 00:42:28,958 Sub-Zero style from Mortal Kombat. 891 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,929 Allison, you're gonna be looking like Emilia Clarke 892 00:42:31,931 --> 00:42:34,864 riding in on a fucking dragon. 893 00:42:34,866 --> 00:42:37,335 You lure Gil all the way to the loading dock. 894 00:42:37,337 --> 00:42:40,637 And just when Gil thinks he's gonna get lucky, 895 00:42:40,639 --> 00:42:42,540 you drop a lighter into a puddle of gasoline 896 00:42:42,542 --> 00:42:45,175 that Gil just happens to be standing in, 897 00:42:45,177 --> 00:42:48,179 turning him into the Human Torch. 898 00:42:50,917 --> 00:42:53,351 Now, me and Keith are gonna meet up with Brock. 899 00:42:53,353 --> 00:42:55,820 We crack the safe, we load up the bags, 900 00:42:55,822 --> 00:42:58,288 and we get the fuck out of there. 901 00:42:58,290 --> 00:43:00,257 We all meet up out front of the Con. 902 00:43:00,259 --> 00:43:02,293 We're scot-free. We celebrate. 903 00:43:02,295 --> 00:43:06,396 Me and Allison make out, just like she always planned. 904 00:43:06,398 --> 00:43:09,567 That's the plan? So much wrong with that plan. 905 00:43:09,569 --> 00:43:12,904 You think I'm gonna just light a man on fire? 906 00:43:12,906 --> 00:43:14,538 What about Adam King? 907 00:43:14,540 --> 00:43:16,440 What about security cameras? What about Callahan? 908 00:43:16,442 --> 00:43:18,409 What about people seeing our fucking faces? 909 00:43:18,411 --> 00:43:20,478 Why don't we just do the stormtropper thing? 910 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,813 Because we're doing an original. This is not a sequel. 911 00:43:22,815 --> 00:43:25,382 But I'm wearing a Targaryen princess outfit 912 00:43:25,384 --> 00:43:26,817 for absolutely no reason? 913 00:43:26,819 --> 00:43:28,286 Well, one reason. 914 00:43:28,288 --> 00:43:29,954 I think I could still catch that bus. 915 00:43:29,956 --> 00:43:33,190 - Well, I'm in. - Thank you, Brock. 916 00:43:33,192 --> 00:43:37,328 You can still grow some balls in plan B. 917 00:43:37,330 --> 00:43:39,530 Right before Adam King's panel starts, 918 00:43:39,532 --> 00:43:41,733 Keith and I will be on the floor in costumes, 919 00:43:41,735 --> 00:43:43,032 so we won't get caught. 920 00:43:43,034 --> 00:43:44,802 Yeah, bitch. 921 00:43:44,804 --> 00:43:47,103 Callahan will be on guard outside Gil's office. 922 00:43:47,105 --> 00:43:48,739 Allison, it's gonna be your job 923 00:43:48,741 --> 00:43:51,241 to seduce Callahan away from the office. 924 00:43:51,243 --> 00:43:54,177 You do this by having sex with Callahan. 925 00:43:54,179 --> 00:43:55,813 And in the middle of that disgusting act, 926 00:43:55,815 --> 00:43:58,849 you knock out Callahan with a tire iron. 927 00:43:58,851 --> 00:44:01,319 Now, after breaking in through the air vents, 928 00:44:01,321 --> 00:44:03,686 Brock, you're gonna radio me and Keith, so we can come in, 929 00:44:03,688 --> 00:44:07,592 grab the cash, and skedaddlee-do outta there. 930 00:44:07,594 --> 00:44:09,626 Allison, you're gonna infiltrate, that's right, 931 00:44:09,628 --> 00:44:11,462 infiltrate the security office 932 00:44:11,464 --> 00:44:13,364 and wipe all the security footage clean, 933 00:44:13,366 --> 00:44:15,800 wearing a different sexy cosplay outfit. 934 00:44:15,802 --> 00:44:17,201 Dealer's choice. 935 00:44:17,203 --> 00:44:18,768 We meet up in the parking lot. 936 00:44:18,770 --> 00:44:22,273 We drive off into the sunset in Bigfoot Number One. 937 00:44:23,808 --> 00:44:27,145 Allison, you and me make out hard. 938 00:44:27,147 --> 00:44:30,047 Go big, finish big. 939 00:44:30,049 --> 00:44:33,951 Why am I the whore? Why can't Keith be the whore? 940 00:44:33,953 --> 00:44:36,087 - Well... - I'll be the whore. 941 00:44:36,089 --> 00:44:38,690 Bigfoot? What, do you live in the '80s? 942 00:44:38,692 --> 00:44:41,960 Oh, yeah, and on that note, I cannot drive a monster truck. 943 00:44:41,962 --> 00:44:44,029 You did in Downtown Crime. 944 00:44:44,031 --> 00:44:46,764 That was Gary Jensen, stuntman. 945 00:44:46,766 --> 00:44:52,436 Not a problem, 'cause I got it all worked out in plan C. 946 00:44:52,438 --> 00:44:55,405 - Plan C? - Plan C? 947 00:44:55,407 --> 00:44:56,875 Same thing out front. 948 00:44:56,877 --> 00:44:58,808 Me and Keith are gonna be on the floor. 949 00:44:58,810 --> 00:45:00,710 Brock, you're in your favorite place. 950 00:45:00,712 --> 00:45:02,846 Allison, you're still distracting Callahan, 951 00:45:02,848 --> 00:45:04,681 but you're not having sex with him. 952 00:45:04,683 --> 00:45:07,050 You just need to get him away from that door. 953 00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:09,353 You're gonna be hauling ass over to the security office, 954 00:45:09,355 --> 00:45:11,755 and you're gonna be wiping all the security footage clean, 955 00:45:11,757 --> 00:45:15,659 wearing a sexy, tiny Japanese anime number. 956 00:45:15,661 --> 00:45:18,429 Brock rappels down the air vent. 957 00:45:18,431 --> 00:45:20,398 He unlocks the door for me and Keith. 958 00:45:21,032 --> 00:45:22,632 We crack the safe, 959 00:45:22,634 --> 00:45:25,402 we load up all the bags and get the heck outta there. 960 00:45:25,404 --> 00:45:27,137 We meet at the getaway car, 961 00:45:27,139 --> 00:45:28,940 Lee Harvey Oswald's favorite target practice, 962 00:45:28,942 --> 00:45:31,241 a cherry Lincoln Continental. 963 00:45:31,243 --> 00:45:32,876 Hold up. 964 00:45:32,878 --> 00:45:35,945 I'm not happy about being on security detail, 965 00:45:35,947 --> 00:45:37,415 but I'll do it. 966 00:45:37,417 --> 00:45:38,949 But you're in for the outfits, right? 967 00:45:38,951 --> 00:45:41,386 Problem is, if we wipe the security cams, 968 00:45:41,388 --> 00:45:44,956 we can't keep track of Adam King and Gil on the floor. 969 00:45:44,958 --> 00:45:46,991 Not a problem. We got Brock in the air vents. 970 00:45:46,993 --> 00:45:48,759 Cover all our asses. 971 00:45:48,761 --> 00:45:51,228 Where are these cars coming from? 972 00:45:51,230 --> 00:45:53,230 It's my plan, man. I get to pick the cars. 973 00:45:53,232 --> 00:45:54,532 Hey, I got an idea. 974 00:45:54,534 --> 00:45:56,900 Why don't we just take a shuttle bus? 975 00:45:56,902 --> 00:46:00,137 This plan you speak of is full of holes. 976 00:46:00,139 --> 00:46:01,807 Shut up, Matt. 977 00:46:02,842 --> 00:46:07,110 However, I think we can really do this. 978 00:46:07,112 --> 00:46:09,248 Guys, we gonna do this? 979 00:46:09,748 --> 00:46:10,884 I'm in. 980 00:46:13,219 --> 00:46:14,521 I'm in. 981 00:46:17,958 --> 00:46:20,594 It's like the tip of my cock in your ass, Matt. 982 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:22,696 I'm in. 983 00:46:24,897 --> 00:46:26,096 Yes! 984 00:46:26,098 --> 00:46:28,099 We still need one more person 985 00:46:28,101 --> 00:46:29,333 just to keep their eyes on Gil. 986 00:46:29,335 --> 00:46:30,737 And King. 987 00:46:34,906 --> 00:46:36,642 I have an idea. 988 00:46:40,279 --> 00:46:43,179 - I really should've been Obama. - Why? 989 00:46:43,181 --> 00:46:46,449 I don't know, it looks like they outsourced Trump's hands. 990 00:46:46,451 --> 00:46:47,985 Where the hell is Brock? 991 00:46:47,987 --> 00:46:49,320 Right here. 992 00:46:49,322 --> 00:46:52,223 What, this old thing? 993 00:46:52,225 --> 00:46:53,493 Watch it. 994 00:46:54,226 --> 00:46:55,759 Kirby taught me... 995 00:46:55,761 --> 00:46:56,927 There's our guy. 996 00:46:56,929 --> 00:46:58,362 How to be more dramatic, 997 00:46:58,364 --> 00:47:00,697 how to make things bigger than life, 998 00:47:00,699 --> 00:47:03,134 and he was absolutely right. 999 00:47:03,136 --> 00:47:05,335 Kirby was a wonderful man. 1000 00:47:05,337 --> 00:47:07,337 I mean, he taught me so much. 1001 00:47:07,339 --> 00:47:08,808 Um, Sid, hi. 1002 00:47:11,310 --> 00:47:13,210 - Allie bear. - Rrr. 1003 00:47:13,212 --> 00:47:16,146 Hi. Love this disguise. 1004 00:47:16,148 --> 00:47:18,616 It's a Louise Brooks sort of goth nerd? 1005 00:47:18,618 --> 00:47:20,951 It's Louise Brooks-ish, yeah. 1006 00:47:20,953 --> 00:47:24,922 Everybody, this is my favorite artist working today, 1007 00:47:24,924 --> 00:47:28,090 Allison McNealy, and she is great. 1008 00:47:28,092 --> 00:47:31,529 Oh, by the way, great work on your book Battle Worlds. 1009 00:47:31,531 --> 00:47:33,764 It's fantastic. Great, kiddo. 1010 00:47:33,766 --> 00:47:34,898 Thanks. 1011 00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:36,536 Thank you, Sid. 1012 00:47:37,802 --> 00:47:40,570 Willie Nelson is playing a concert. 1013 00:47:40,572 --> 00:47:42,674 Sorry, hon. I'm a little deaf. 1014 00:47:43,543 --> 00:47:45,576 Willie Nelson is playing a concert. 1015 00:47:45,578 --> 00:47:49,382 This is... That's Vietnam, so you have to speak loud. 1016 00:47:50,549 --> 00:47:52,451 We've got great weed. 1017 00:47:53,252 --> 00:47:55,855 Guys, back in 20! 1018 00:48:03,830 --> 00:48:07,230 How much of this shit have you kids been smoking? 1019 00:48:07,232 --> 00:48:08,801 Not enough. 1020 00:48:12,806 --> 00:48:13,871 Whoa! 1021 00:48:13,873 --> 00:48:16,907 Hey, you're in Silicon Valley. 1022 00:48:16,909 --> 00:48:19,677 - Parks and Rec. - Oh, that's not as funny. 1023 00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,348 I mean, it's still good. 1024 00:48:22,281 --> 00:48:24,248 I guess it's good. 1025 00:48:24,250 --> 00:48:26,884 Sid, come on, what do you think? 1026 00:48:26,886 --> 00:48:28,886 - You in? - I don't know, folks. 1027 00:48:28,888 --> 00:48:32,588 I'm still trying to wrap my head around this thing. 1028 00:48:32,590 --> 00:48:35,893 Which does not make it not the right thing to do. 1029 00:48:35,895 --> 00:48:38,429 I have a longer, darker history with Adam King 1030 00:48:38,431 --> 00:48:40,396 than you kids know about. 1031 00:48:40,398 --> 00:48:42,465 Back in '79, 1032 00:48:42,467 --> 00:48:45,335 my lovely ex-wife, God rest her soul, 1033 00:48:45,337 --> 00:48:47,137 warned me that he was gonna screw me 1034 00:48:47,139 --> 00:48:52,409 on the Future Force TV deal, which he did. 1035 00:48:52,411 --> 00:48:54,911 Had to fight for years to get the rights back, 1036 00:48:54,913 --> 00:48:57,681 spent a small fortune doing it. 1037 00:48:57,683 --> 00:49:02,552 Now I just wanna share stories with fans, 1038 00:49:02,554 --> 00:49:06,893 and not with the inmates of cell block D. 1039 00:49:09,996 --> 00:49:14,797 I grew up reading your comics, Mr. Newberry. 1040 00:49:14,799 --> 00:49:18,735 What made your comics great wasn't the superheroes. 1041 00:49:18,737 --> 00:49:21,672 Your books were about human morality 1042 00:49:21,674 --> 00:49:24,007 wrapped in a superhero cape. 1043 00:49:24,009 --> 00:49:25,809 When those pages were open, man, 1044 00:49:25,811 --> 00:49:28,145 I didn't think about being the weird kid, 1045 00:49:28,147 --> 00:49:31,681 I didn't think about Tito Lopez kicking my ass in the fourth grade. 1046 00:49:31,683 --> 00:49:35,119 When I was reading your books, I wasn't alone. 1047 00:49:35,121 --> 00:49:36,820 That's it. The people who come to these cons, 1048 00:49:36,822 --> 00:49:38,956 and I'm talking about all of us, 1049 00:49:38,958 --> 00:49:42,628 this is where we don't feel alone. 1050 00:49:45,098 --> 00:49:46,833 The Adam Kings of the world? 1051 00:49:48,234 --> 00:49:49,601 The Gils? 1052 00:49:50,636 --> 00:49:52,571 They're robbing that from us. 1053 00:49:53,339 --> 00:49:54,739 They overcharge, 1054 00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,543 and they treat the fans like shit. 1055 00:49:59,511 --> 00:50:00,946 Sid... 1056 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,384 We wanna take it back for the fans. 1057 00:50:21,567 --> 00:50:26,704 You know, either this grass is really, really good, 1058 00:50:26,706 --> 00:50:29,306 or this kid just monologued me. 1059 00:50:29,308 --> 00:50:30,940 Sid. 1060 00:50:30,942 --> 00:50:32,946 Listen, that was very good. I wish I had a pen. 1061 00:50:34,580 --> 00:50:37,380 Sid, is that a yes? Is that a yes? 1062 00:50:37,382 --> 00:50:39,951 You're great kids, 1063 00:50:39,953 --> 00:50:43,052 and Adam King is an incredible asshole, 1064 00:50:43,054 --> 00:50:45,590 but unfortunately, he makes up a major part 1065 00:50:45,592 --> 00:50:48,692 of my retirement income, 1066 00:50:48,694 --> 00:50:51,697 so you see, he's my necessary evil. 1067 00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:57,433 Let's do another book soon. 1068 00:50:57,435 --> 00:50:58,971 Good luck, guys. 1069 00:50:59,873 --> 00:51:00,940 Sid... 1070 00:51:02,775 --> 00:51:04,643 Can you at least think about it? 1071 00:51:05,643 --> 00:51:08,679 Not if I smoke any more of that weed. 1072 00:51:08,681 --> 00:51:11,382 I'm gonna go play some Allman Brothers. 1073 00:51:11,384 --> 00:51:13,586 Oops, sorry. 1074 00:51:14,753 --> 00:51:16,656 Thought this was the hentai room. 1075 00:51:20,793 --> 00:51:22,895 Dare I ask about a plan D? 1076 00:51:23,395 --> 00:51:25,295 Who has a plan D? 1077 00:51:25,297 --> 00:51:26,666 Obviously not you. 1078 00:51:29,368 --> 00:51:34,704 Oh, oh, Mr. King! Mr. King! 1079 00:51:34,706 --> 00:51:37,474 Mr. King, can I please have your autograph? 1080 00:51:37,476 --> 00:51:40,610 Sure, big guy, anything for a Future Force fan. 1081 00:51:40,612 --> 00:51:42,579 You're my hero. 1082 00:51:42,581 --> 00:51:44,782 - Oh, I love your work, man. - I bet you do. 1083 00:51:44,784 --> 00:51:47,018 It's pretty good, isn't it? Yeah. 1084 00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:49,018 All right, there ya go. 75 bucks, bro. 1085 00:51:49,020 --> 00:51:50,922 Oh, my sister's at the restaurant. 1086 00:51:50,924 --> 00:51:52,755 I don't have any money. 1087 00:51:52,757 --> 00:51:54,761 I just thought you could give it for me for free. 1088 00:51:55,761 --> 00:51:58,030 Oh, I don't... I just thought... 1089 00:51:59,232 --> 00:52:02,333 Golden Guardian doesn't work for free, kid. 1090 00:52:02,335 --> 00:52:05,601 You can have this when you go into your sister's purse, 1091 00:52:05,603 --> 00:52:07,237 steal 75 bucks. 1092 00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,273 Got it right here for ya, all right? 1093 00:52:10,275 --> 00:52:12,476 Yeah. Let's go, babe. 1094 00:52:12,478 --> 00:52:14,047 Bye-bye now. 1095 00:52:16,147 --> 00:52:17,280 Oh. 1096 00:52:17,282 --> 00:52:18,717 Think fast. 1097 00:52:21,085 --> 00:52:24,156 I can't believe who they let in these things anymore. 1098 00:52:26,125 --> 00:52:27,558 You dick! 1099 00:52:31,496 --> 00:52:32,996 Motherfucker! 1100 00:52:32,998 --> 00:52:35,599 Hey, Sid Newberry, you're still alive, huh? 1101 00:52:35,601 --> 00:52:38,134 Good for you, good for you. 1102 00:52:38,136 --> 00:52:41,540 You know, that's not his real name. 1103 00:52:44,444 --> 00:52:48,581 Yeah, I can't ride a bike, and I can't roller-skate either. 1104 00:52:55,721 --> 00:52:58,154 Sid! I knew you'd come back. 1105 00:52:58,156 --> 00:52:59,690 How'd you find us? 1106 00:52:59,692 --> 00:53:03,128 I just came in for some more of that weed. 1107 00:53:12,203 --> 00:53:14,204 Thanks. 1108 00:53:14,206 --> 00:53:15,639 You know you don't have to keep on working when you get fired. 1109 00:53:15,641 --> 00:53:18,409 Mm. This one's for me. 1110 00:53:18,411 --> 00:53:19,942 Really? You made me Adam King? 1111 00:53:19,944 --> 00:53:21,378 You're not Adam King. 1112 00:53:21,380 --> 00:53:25,318 Golden Guardian, our fearless leader. 1113 00:53:27,618 --> 00:53:29,453 Fearless leader. 1114 00:53:29,455 --> 00:53:32,157 That's one thing I've never been accused of. 1115 00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,062 Uh-oh. 1116 00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:42,099 There it is. 1117 00:53:42,101 --> 00:53:44,867 Hey, I feel like you're about to bestow us some wisdom. 1118 00:53:44,869 --> 00:53:46,302 Here's some wisdom. 1119 00:53:46,304 --> 00:53:49,206 I just wish you guys would just fuck already. 1120 00:53:49,208 --> 00:53:50,875 - Whoa, whoa. - Don't do it for me. 1121 00:53:50,877 --> 00:53:52,842 Do it for you. 1122 00:53:55,781 --> 00:53:57,614 I just want you guys to fuck. 1123 00:53:57,616 --> 00:53:59,049 Just get it out of the way, 1124 00:53:59,051 --> 00:54:03,154 and then we can be all normal again. 1125 00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:06,125 Can you believe this is possibly our last night of freedom? 1126 00:54:08,927 --> 00:54:11,998 This is the best night of my life. 1127 00:54:12,732 --> 00:54:14,300 I believe you. 1128 00:54:18,571 --> 00:54:20,971 The night was mighty dark, 1129 00:54:20,973 --> 00:54:22,942 so you could hardly see. 1130 00:54:24,275 --> 00:54:26,678 And the moon refused to shine. 1131 00:54:31,083 --> 00:54:35,355 There was this couple sitting underneath the willow tree. 1132 00:54:36,822 --> 00:54:38,157 For love... 1133 00:54:39,525 --> 00:54:41,094 For love, they pined. 1134 00:54:44,063 --> 00:54:47,764 The little maid was kinda 'fraid of darkness, 1135 00:54:47,766 --> 00:54:49,935 so she said, 1136 00:54:50,969 --> 00:54:52,672 "I guess I'll go." 1137 00:54:56,074 --> 00:54:59,043 The boy began to sigh. 1138 00:54:59,045 --> 00:55:02,112 He looked up in the sky, 1139 00:55:02,114 --> 00:55:07,317 and he told the moon his little tale of woe. 1140 00:55:07,319 --> 00:55:08,951 He said... 1141 00:55:08,953 --> 00:55:10,820 ♪♪ Shine on 1142 00:55:10,822 --> 00:55:14,757 ♪♪ Shine on, harvest moon 1143 00:55:14,759 --> 00:55:17,828 ♪♪ Up in the sky 1144 00:55:17,830 --> 00:55:22,132 ♪♪ I ain't had no loving since 1145 00:55:22,134 --> 00:55:26,869 ♪♪ January, February, June or July 1146 00:55:26,871 --> 00:55:29,038 ♪♪ Snow time 1147 00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:32,675 ♪♪ Ain't no time to stay 1148 00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:34,844 ♪♪ Outdoors and spoon 1149 00:55:34,846 --> 00:55:37,848 ♪♪ So shine on 1150 00:55:37,850 --> 00:55:41,150 ♪♪ Shine on, harvest moon 1151 00:55:41,152 --> 00:55:43,920 ♪♪ For me and my gal, yeah 1152 00:55:43,922 --> 00:55:46,456 ♪♪ So shine on 1153 00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:49,659 ♪♪ Shine on, harvest moon Where? 1154 00:55:49,661 --> 00:55:52,663 ♪♪ Up in the sky That's right! 1155 00:55:52,665 --> 00:55:56,500 ♪♪ I ain't had no lovin' since 1156 00:55:56,502 --> 00:56:00,804 ♪♪ January, February, June It's so sad! 1157 00:56:00,806 --> 00:56:02,572 ♪♪ Snow time 1158 00:56:02,574 --> 00:56:07,143 ♪♪ Ain't no time to stay outdoors and spoon 1159 00:56:07,145 --> 00:56:08,945 ♪♪ It leads to forking! 1160 00:56:08,947 --> 00:56:10,913 ♪♪ Shine on 1161 00:56:10,915 --> 00:56:13,884 ♪♪ Shine on, harvest moon 1162 00:56:13,886 --> 00:56:16,889 ♪♪ For me and my gal ♪♪ 1163 00:56:28,266 --> 00:56:30,400 You know if we get nailed, 1164 00:56:30,402 --> 00:56:33,536 I just ruined the lives of four people I really care about. 1165 00:56:33,538 --> 00:56:34,771 True. 1166 00:56:34,773 --> 00:56:36,440 Do you think you and this crew 1167 00:56:36,442 --> 00:56:39,875 can handle 10 years in a maximum security prison? 1168 00:56:39,877 --> 00:56:43,212 You heard Keith. He's happy for the first time since he was 12. 1169 00:56:43,214 --> 00:56:45,382 Brock is clearly loving it. 1170 00:56:45,384 --> 00:56:48,221 Sid's finally part of a superhero team. 1171 00:56:49,188 --> 00:56:50,820 So? 1172 00:56:50,822 --> 00:56:52,525 In or out, Wheeler? 1173 00:56:55,594 --> 00:56:59,496 If that's not Adam King, and I'm now the Golden Guardian, 1174 00:56:59,498 --> 00:57:01,799 you gotta make my package way bigger. 1175 00:57:01,801 --> 00:57:03,268 Just sayin'. 1176 00:57:19,284 --> 00:57:21,284 Okay, guys, we all know the plan. 1177 00:57:21,286 --> 00:57:23,554 Until we actually touch the money, 1178 00:57:23,556 --> 00:57:25,655 we haven't done anything illegal. 1179 00:57:25,657 --> 00:57:28,023 We're just LARPing. 1180 00:57:28,025 --> 00:57:29,427 That's the story. 1181 00:57:57,121 --> 00:57:59,623 Yeah. 1182 00:57:59,625 --> 00:58:01,491 There you are. 1183 00:58:14,806 --> 00:58:16,905 Still got any body oil? 1184 00:58:16,907 --> 00:58:19,610 Body oil. Babe! 1185 00:59:13,965 --> 00:59:16,266 Good luck. 1186 00:59:16,268 --> 00:59:19,969 I feel like that was a reference to something I should know. 1187 00:59:19,971 --> 00:59:21,538 - This is it. - See ya in a few. 1188 00:59:21,540 --> 00:59:22,541 All right. 1189 00:59:22,940 --> 00:59:24,206 Yo, Wheeler. 1190 00:59:24,208 --> 00:59:26,610 - Yeah. - Don't fuck this up, 1191 00:59:26,612 --> 00:59:29,282 there might be something waiting for you at the end of it. 1192 00:59:33,219 --> 00:59:35,186 Motherfucker. 1193 00:59:40,891 --> 00:59:42,194 Boom! 1194 00:59:51,335 --> 00:59:53,272 - All right. - We have a hole. 1195 00:59:58,710 --> 01:00:00,108 That's quite a hole. 1196 01:00:00,110 --> 01:00:02,378 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Not bad. 1197 01:00:02,380 --> 01:00:03,980 - Speaking of. - Wait. 1198 01:00:03,982 --> 01:00:05,382 You couldn't just be a cat burglar. 1199 01:00:05,384 --> 01:00:07,250 You had to be a sexy cat burglar? 1200 01:00:07,252 --> 01:00:08,751 This was the only outfit I could find on the floor 1201 01:00:08,753 --> 01:00:10,654 that fit the job. 1202 01:00:10,656 --> 01:00:11,755 Are you wearing heels? 1203 01:00:11,757 --> 01:00:13,188 Yes, I am. 1204 01:00:13,190 --> 01:00:15,324 Well, more of a go-go boot, but yes. 1205 01:00:15,326 --> 01:00:16,793 Where the fuck is your harness? 1206 01:00:16,795 --> 01:00:18,161 It's underneath. 1207 01:00:18,163 --> 01:00:19,730 Want me to ruin this line? 1208 01:00:19,732 --> 01:00:21,465 Well, you working it, pussycat. Come over here. 1209 01:00:21,467 --> 01:00:23,800 Thank you, Matt. 1210 01:00:23,802 --> 01:00:25,569 Let's give you some light. 1211 01:00:25,571 --> 01:00:28,270 Must be so tight on my junk 'cause it feels very good. 1212 01:00:28,272 --> 01:00:30,473 - It's a natural tea bag. - Thank you. 1213 01:00:30,475 --> 01:00:33,610 Oh, God, wait! Those are my balls! Please! 1214 01:00:33,612 --> 01:00:35,746 You're touching my taint! Get outta my taint! 1215 01:00:35,748 --> 01:00:38,681 - That's my face. - Oh, sorry. Can you smell that? 1216 01:00:38,683 --> 01:00:40,416 Go, Brock, go! 1217 01:00:40,418 --> 01:00:43,386 It's like being a suppository in the anus of hell. 1218 01:00:43,388 --> 01:00:45,723 I can't believe that you got... 1219 01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:46,857 Oh, shit! 1220 01:00:47,993 --> 01:00:49,759 - I'm fine. - Brock! 1221 01:00:49,761 --> 01:00:51,728 It's good? Huh? 1222 01:00:51,730 --> 01:00:53,329 Help. 1223 01:00:53,331 --> 01:00:54,898 I mean, just stay where you are. 1224 01:00:54,900 --> 01:00:56,102 Okay. 1225 01:00:56,601 --> 01:00:57,601 Jesus! 1226 01:00:57,603 --> 01:00:59,302 Can you feel your legs? 1227 01:00:59,304 --> 01:01:01,237 I've got legs? 1228 01:01:01,239 --> 01:01:02,973 Let's just get him the bags. 1229 01:01:02,975 --> 01:01:06,344 Just stay where you... Throw me the bags! 1230 01:01:08,746 --> 01:01:10,248 Oh! 1231 01:01:13,085 --> 01:01:14,353 Thanks. 1232 01:01:15,453 --> 01:01:16,351 Okay. 1233 01:01:30,668 --> 01:01:33,904 Let us know when the eagle has left the nest. 1234 01:01:33,906 --> 01:01:35,605 I'm fogging up faster than a teenager 1235 01:01:35,607 --> 01:01:38,340 in the back seat of a Honda Civic. 1236 01:01:38,342 --> 01:01:40,413 Be thankful you're not wearing a turban. 1237 01:01:45,817 --> 01:01:47,116 You know, 40 years... 1238 01:01:47,118 --> 01:01:49,184 Ooh! 1239 01:01:49,186 --> 01:01:51,721 38 movies, 2 television shows, 1240 01:01:51,723 --> 01:01:55,324 and you are by far the worst sound guy I've ever worked with. 1241 01:01:55,326 --> 01:01:56,525 I mean, seriously, look at this. 1242 01:01:56,527 --> 01:01:58,397 Looks like I have a hernia. 1243 01:02:00,498 --> 01:02:02,301 You giving me a hand job now? 1244 01:02:03,902 --> 01:02:05,434 Hi, gents. 1245 01:02:05,436 --> 01:02:07,936 Do you guys mind if I hang back here, 1246 01:02:07,938 --> 01:02:09,338 see the big panel? 1247 01:02:09,340 --> 01:02:11,440 I just love to see the fans' faces 1248 01:02:11,442 --> 01:02:13,442 when they talk about Future Force. 1249 01:02:13,444 --> 01:02:14,945 Yeah, well, that makes one of us. 1250 01:02:14,947 --> 01:02:16,512 You want me to get this guy, King? 1251 01:02:16,514 --> 01:02:17,915 - Who the fuck... - Ah, that's okay. 1252 01:02:17,917 --> 01:02:19,181 It's all right. He's harmless. 1253 01:02:19,183 --> 01:02:20,449 Aren't you, Sid? 1254 01:02:20,451 --> 01:02:21,884 Glad you're still my fan 1255 01:02:21,886 --> 01:02:24,322 after all those lawyers got through with ya. 1256 01:02:25,257 --> 01:02:27,858 Boy, he's asking for it. 1257 01:02:27,860 --> 01:02:31,094 Oh, now it looks like I have R2D2 hanging from my balls. 1258 01:02:31,096 --> 01:02:33,165 - Seriously? - Sorry, sir. 1259 01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,898 Come on, beat it, Pepe. Get outta here. 1260 01:02:35,900 --> 01:02:39,201 Yep, you know, I haven't killed a man since Vietnam, 1261 01:02:39,203 --> 01:02:41,837 but that may change today. 1262 01:02:41,839 --> 01:02:44,142 Here you go, honey. You're welcome. 1263 01:02:49,748 --> 01:02:52,251 I can give you this handheld mic, if you'd rather. 1264 01:02:53,518 --> 01:02:56,253 You mean this was an option the entire time? 1265 01:02:56,255 --> 01:02:58,154 I'm sorry. I just thought that... 1266 01:02:59,857 --> 01:03:01,226 Oh, my God. 1267 01:03:13,272 --> 01:03:15,337 You know him as Tex Johnson, 1268 01:03:15,339 --> 01:03:17,306 you know him as the Golden Guardian, 1269 01:03:17,308 --> 01:03:22,145 it's the one, the only, Adam King! 1270 01:03:37,862 --> 01:03:39,397 Yes! 1271 01:03:42,134 --> 01:03:43,836 Yes! 1272 01:03:45,703 --> 01:03:47,603 Look at us. What a great crowd. 1273 01:03:47,605 --> 01:03:49,337 I think this is the biggest crowd so far at the Con. 1274 01:03:49,339 --> 01:03:50,674 Isn't it? Right? 1275 01:03:53,811 --> 01:03:55,311 I know it is. 1276 01:03:55,313 --> 01:03:56,846 They sold too many tickets, you know, 1277 01:03:56,848 --> 01:03:59,348 but there's a line all the way around 1278 01:03:59,350 --> 01:04:01,016 this huge, uh... 1279 01:04:01,018 --> 01:04:02,819 This huge convention center. 1280 01:04:02,821 --> 01:04:05,822 It goes all the way around. You people are the lucky ones. 1281 01:04:05,824 --> 01:04:08,558 The eagle is in flight. King's onstage. 1282 01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:11,661 I got eyeballs on Gil. We're good to go. 1283 01:04:11,663 --> 01:04:13,295 Allison, you're up. 1284 01:04:13,297 --> 01:04:15,466 Get Callahan off that door. 1285 01:04:16,201 --> 01:04:17,770 What are you doing here 1286 01:04:18,302 --> 01:04:22,840 all by yourself? 1287 01:04:38,456 --> 01:04:40,322 Nothing's working. 1288 01:04:40,324 --> 01:04:42,058 He's gotta be a terminator. 1289 01:04:42,060 --> 01:04:44,027 No red-blooded male can resist that. 1290 01:04:44,029 --> 01:04:45,895 He's gay. 1291 01:04:45,897 --> 01:04:50,366 That UFC macho shithead bullshit isn't fooling anybody. 1292 01:04:50,368 --> 01:04:51,601 He's gay as a goose. 1293 01:04:51,603 --> 01:04:54,170 Puts the dump in cumdump. 1294 01:04:54,172 --> 01:04:56,773 He's so gay, he puts an S in turtle. 1295 01:04:56,775 --> 01:05:01,011 Damn light's not working. Damn this piece of shit. 1296 01:05:01,013 --> 01:05:03,882 I'm above the office. Get in here. 1297 01:05:05,750 --> 01:05:07,616 We should've got Brock for this. 1298 01:05:07,618 --> 01:05:10,654 I see, I see a bunch of Xenas here. 1299 01:05:10,656 --> 01:05:12,489 Look, yeah, there's one up there. 1300 01:05:12,491 --> 01:05:14,824 Ooh, very nice. You should move down in front. 1301 01:05:14,826 --> 01:05:17,094 Very good. 1302 01:05:17,096 --> 01:05:21,331 Ah, Lucy. Do we love Lucy? Do we all love Lucy Lawless? 1303 01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:23,666 I met Lucy many, many years ago. 1304 01:05:23,668 --> 01:05:25,735 Of course, she wasn't Lucy Lawless then. 1305 01:05:25,737 --> 01:05:28,505 She was Lucy Kiwi... I don't know. 1306 01:05:28,507 --> 01:05:32,675 This statuesque, remarkably clear-skinned girl 1307 01:05:32,677 --> 01:05:35,779 comes up and gets her diploma, and I said, "Who is that?" 1308 01:05:35,781 --> 01:05:39,047 She was, boy, barely 18, I think, and she was... 1309 01:05:39,049 --> 01:05:42,418 - Guys, Gil's starting to move. - Stall him, Sid. 1310 01:05:42,420 --> 01:05:43,886 - How? - The Elvis story. 1311 01:05:43,888 --> 01:05:45,855 Gil, I just wanted to thank you 1312 01:05:45,857 --> 01:05:48,458 for letting me hang back here and watch King in action. 1313 01:05:48,460 --> 01:05:49,592 I really appreciate it. 1314 01:05:49,594 --> 01:05:51,360 No problem, Sid, no problem. 1315 01:05:51,362 --> 01:05:53,429 Which, by the way, speaking of King, 1316 01:05:53,431 --> 01:05:55,165 did I ever tell you about the time 1317 01:05:55,167 --> 01:06:00,070 that Elvis and I nearly died in a private plane crash? 1318 01:06:00,072 --> 01:06:01,737 No. 1319 01:06:01,739 --> 01:06:04,074 When the scene was over, which got a little steamy, 1320 01:06:04,076 --> 01:06:05,541 the director yelled cut, 1321 01:06:05,543 --> 01:06:07,476 she looked down at me, and she said... 1322 01:06:07,478 --> 01:06:09,746 Whoa! 1323 01:06:09,748 --> 01:06:13,148 "Yes! You are the King!" 1324 01:06:13,150 --> 01:06:15,018 Don't stop me if you've heard this story. 1325 01:06:15,020 --> 01:06:18,320 July 4th of 1971, yeah, 'cause it was right after 1326 01:06:18,322 --> 01:06:20,489 Elvis did his big comeback special, 1327 01:06:20,491 --> 01:06:22,925 the one with the black leathers. 1328 01:06:22,927 --> 01:06:25,228 - Uh-huh - Anyway, we're on the plane, 1329 01:06:25,230 --> 01:06:27,697 Sonny and Red and me and E, 1330 01:06:27,699 --> 01:06:30,433 and all of a sudden, on the way back to Memphis, 1331 01:06:30,435 --> 01:06:33,770 the Colonel just brings out this huge bag of mushrooms. 1332 01:06:33,772 --> 01:06:35,739 - What? - I mean, just incredible. 1333 01:06:35,741 --> 01:06:38,741 Don't you think people are too hard on the new DC movies? 1334 01:06:38,743 --> 01:06:41,344 You know what I really love about the new Supes? 1335 01:06:41,346 --> 01:06:43,947 What's that? 1336 01:06:43,949 --> 01:06:46,949 Red undies on the inside because, you know... 1337 01:06:46,951 --> 01:06:49,351 Hey, Sid, I gotta go. Have a good one. 1338 01:06:49,353 --> 01:06:51,357 Sick bastard. 1339 01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:53,723 Douche nozzle. 1340 01:06:53,725 --> 01:06:55,958 Okay, you guys, we lost him. I can't hold him. 1341 01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:59,494 The walrus is back in the water. 1342 01:06:59,496 --> 01:07:01,398 Allison, do whatever you gotta do, 1343 01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:02,831 but do it right now. 1344 01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:04,069 Copy. 1345 01:07:06,404 --> 01:07:08,036 Did you just call me ma'am? 1346 01:07:08,038 --> 01:07:10,373 Do I look like a ma'am to you, dickhead? 1347 01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:11,708 No, I wasn't trying... 1348 01:07:11,710 --> 01:07:13,442 Does this ass look like a ma'am to you? 1349 01:07:13,444 --> 01:07:15,277 - Ma'am, you have to leave. - Oh, you just said it again. 1350 01:07:15,279 --> 01:07:18,114 I don't have to do anything. What is this, Nazi Germany, 1351 01:07:18,116 --> 01:07:21,884 you goose-stepping, leg-day skipping Hitler wannabe? 1352 01:07:21,886 --> 01:07:23,819 - What? - You heard me, Ferrigno. 1353 01:07:23,821 --> 01:07:25,755 - Oh, yeah. - What? 1354 01:07:25,757 --> 01:07:27,389 You get to tell me what to do just 'cause I'm a woman? 1355 01:07:27,391 --> 01:07:28,692 You got a dick? 1356 01:07:28,694 --> 01:07:31,962 No, no, no, no, you jackboot-wearing 1357 01:07:31,964 --> 01:07:34,931 Game of Thrones Mountain wannabe! 1358 01:07:34,933 --> 01:07:38,467 First of all, it's Mr. Ferrigno. 1359 01:07:38,469 --> 01:07:41,070 And I ain't no Nazi. 1360 01:07:41,072 --> 01:07:43,973 And I have never missed a leg day in my life. 1361 01:07:43,975 --> 01:07:46,409 Put me down! Are you fucking kidding me? 1362 01:07:46,411 --> 01:07:47,777 Chicken leg! 1363 01:07:47,779 --> 01:07:49,512 Are you kidding me? Put me down! 1364 01:07:49,514 --> 01:07:51,047 Attention, Supercon. 1365 01:07:51,049 --> 01:07:53,014 If anyone found a red nylon wallet 1366 01:07:53,016 --> 01:07:55,150 during this afternoon's furry pile, 1367 01:07:55,152 --> 01:07:57,622 please return it to the Con op's office. 1368 01:07:59,257 --> 01:08:01,493 Getting screwed today is me. 1369 01:08:06,063 --> 01:08:07,199 Open, you faggot! 1370 01:08:12,603 --> 01:08:15,038 Imagine that. The door was open the entire time. 1371 01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:17,107 Let's go, ladies. Get him up. 1372 01:08:17,109 --> 01:08:19,175 How do you even pick me up with those chicken legs? 1373 01:08:19,177 --> 01:08:21,476 What, do you just skip leg day every time? 1374 01:08:21,478 --> 01:08:23,412 Shut up. 1375 01:08:24,848 --> 01:08:26,849 Actually, you know what, I think we're good. 1376 01:08:26,851 --> 01:08:28,652 You can just put me down here. Sounds like a misunderstanding. 1377 01:08:28,654 --> 01:08:30,487 - See, I thought... - She is outta here! 1378 01:08:30,489 --> 01:08:33,122 Escort this to its car. 1379 01:08:33,124 --> 01:08:36,492 I'm sorry. I thought those were white supremacist tattoos. 1380 01:08:36,494 --> 01:08:38,228 I haven't been to prison. 1381 01:08:38,230 --> 01:08:40,563 I watch too much Lockup. What do you want from me? 1382 01:08:40,565 --> 01:08:42,768 I have a badge. It's inside. 1383 01:08:44,535 --> 01:08:46,202 I have to pee. Can I go pee? 1384 01:08:46,204 --> 01:08:49,541 I'm on my period. Can I... No? 1385 01:08:50,741 --> 01:08:51,873 You guys wanna wrestle for this? 1386 01:08:51,875 --> 01:08:53,710 You wanna tussle? 1387 01:08:53,712 --> 01:08:55,914 Who wants to get their ass kicked by a girl? Come on. 1388 01:08:56,713 --> 01:08:57,915 Escort this! 1389 01:09:02,020 --> 01:09:04,287 I hope you guys are having better luck than me. 1390 01:09:04,289 --> 01:09:06,488 - Why? What happened? - I had to improvise. 1391 01:09:06,490 --> 01:09:08,025 Just hurry the fuck up. 1392 01:09:28,913 --> 01:09:31,717 What superhero could wear fucking heels? 1393 01:09:34,285 --> 01:09:37,055 That's a big door. 1394 01:09:41,692 --> 01:09:43,792 Guys, we got a problem. 1395 01:09:43,794 --> 01:09:47,999 There's a heavy-duty, fire-rated big-ass locked door. 1396 01:09:51,703 --> 01:09:53,269 Where the fuck is the money? 1397 01:09:53,271 --> 01:09:55,470 - What's wrong? - I don't think I can... 1398 01:09:55,472 --> 01:09:56,706 You in? 1399 01:09:56,708 --> 01:09:58,241 Come on, we're working here! 1400 01:09:58,243 --> 01:09:59,774 Are you in? 1401 01:09:59,776 --> 01:10:01,212 Convenient. 1402 01:10:01,612 --> 01:10:03,147 I'm in. 1403 01:10:12,589 --> 01:10:15,457 Bringo. Found it. Bag! 1404 01:10:15,459 --> 01:10:17,562 Bag, bag, bag, bag. 1405 01:10:18,195 --> 01:10:19,261 Come on, come on. 1406 01:10:19,263 --> 01:10:21,663 Bag, bag, bag. 1407 01:10:21,665 --> 01:10:25,701 Take it, take it, take it. 1408 01:10:25,703 --> 01:10:27,839 Shit, tell me there's more. 1409 01:10:32,343 --> 01:10:33,945 What the fuck? 1410 01:10:36,447 --> 01:10:38,413 Yeah, fucker, yeah! 1411 01:10:38,415 --> 01:10:40,683 Yeah, you motherfuckers thought y'all was gonna come in here 1412 01:10:40,685 --> 01:10:42,217 and get my money, didn't you? 1413 01:10:42,219 --> 01:10:46,021 - Put it down. - I will fucking shoot. 1414 01:10:46,023 --> 01:10:49,061 - Take the fucking mask off. - What the... 1415 01:10:50,460 --> 01:10:52,030 Aw, hell no. 1416 01:10:54,831 --> 01:10:56,799 Damn! 1417 01:10:56,801 --> 01:10:59,004 Bitch better have my money. 1418 01:11:03,607 --> 01:11:06,809 Yeah, I told you I'd be there. 1419 01:11:10,648 --> 01:11:12,450 Whoopsies. 1420 01:11:12,984 --> 01:11:14,951 No, you didn't. 1421 01:11:14,953 --> 01:11:17,586 That's not gonna stop ringing anytime soon, right? 1422 01:11:17,588 --> 01:11:20,422 No, and I made sure it was fully charged for today. 1423 01:11:20,424 --> 01:11:21,524 Fuck. 1424 01:11:21,526 --> 01:11:23,059 Give me a boost. 1425 01:11:23,061 --> 01:11:24,627 If I turn something down, 1426 01:11:24,629 --> 01:11:26,162 the next guy they go to is Bruce Willis, 1427 01:11:26,164 --> 01:11:27,997 and Bruce would say, "Oh, yeah, I'll do it. 1428 01:11:27,999 --> 01:11:30,867 "Did King turn it down? I'll do it, I'll do it." 1429 01:11:30,869 --> 01:11:32,469 Right, well, it worked out for him. 1430 01:11:32,471 --> 01:11:34,269 It worked out for him fine, you know, 1431 01:11:34,271 --> 01:11:36,538 because lightning strikes every now and then. 1432 01:11:36,540 --> 01:11:39,141 All right, enough of this. Let's bring the girls out. 1433 01:11:39,143 --> 01:11:42,077 It's photo time, huh? Yeah, good. 1434 01:11:42,079 --> 01:11:45,881 Yeah! 1435 01:11:45,883 --> 01:11:48,252 There we are. 1436 01:11:48,686 --> 01:11:49,920 Yeah. 1437 01:11:52,423 --> 01:11:54,890 All right, everyone, that's my time. 1438 01:11:54,892 --> 01:11:56,760 Guys, we got a problem. 1439 01:11:56,762 --> 01:11:59,163 The King's wrapping up his panel. 1440 01:12:00,231 --> 01:12:02,765 Guys, this is gonna take a few minutes. 1441 01:12:02,767 --> 01:12:05,534 Do not let him leave. You gotta stall him, man. 1442 01:12:08,606 --> 01:12:11,373 - The future... - Is yours. 1443 01:12:12,910 --> 01:12:15,177 Sid Newberry, everybody. 1444 01:12:15,179 --> 01:12:17,880 - What are you doing, old man? - Don't worry, Junior. 1445 01:12:17,882 --> 01:12:20,015 Just approximating how a real man does it. 1446 01:12:20,017 --> 01:12:23,452 This reminds me of a story 1447 01:12:23,454 --> 01:12:27,857 in, around, I suppose, the early 1980s. 1448 01:12:27,859 --> 01:12:30,627 I was ghostwriting a little television film 1449 01:12:30,629 --> 01:12:33,832 in the beautiful city of Detroit, Michigan. 1450 01:12:36,801 --> 01:12:38,301 Attention, Supercon, 1451 01:12:38,303 --> 01:12:40,202 now signing in Autograph Alley, 1452 01:12:40,204 --> 01:12:41,703 William Shatner's brother, 1453 01:12:41,705 --> 01:12:43,506 George Takei's aunt, 1454 01:12:43,508 --> 01:12:45,073 Leonard Nimoy's sister, 1455 01:12:45,075 --> 01:12:47,078 and the great Wil Wheaton. 1456 01:12:48,847 --> 01:12:50,512 Ooh. 1457 01:12:50,514 --> 01:12:51,982 Shit. 1458 01:12:52,383 --> 01:12:53,752 Ugh. 1459 01:12:57,054 --> 01:12:59,488 Fake ass piece of fucking gun. 1460 01:12:59,490 --> 01:13:01,489 My money. 1461 01:13:01,491 --> 01:13:03,658 Ah, my fucking money! 1462 01:13:03,660 --> 01:13:05,394 Son of a bitch! 1463 01:13:05,396 --> 01:13:07,398 Oh! Fuck! 1464 01:13:10,235 --> 01:13:11,766 Where the fuck was you at? 1465 01:13:11,768 --> 01:13:13,168 I had to throw somebody out. 1466 01:13:13,170 --> 01:13:14,804 Damn! What happened to your face? 1467 01:13:14,806 --> 01:13:16,271 Don't worry about that. 1468 01:13:16,273 --> 01:13:18,274 Go radio everybody and lock the doors. 1469 01:13:18,276 --> 01:13:20,975 No purple Guardian, no yellow, gold Guardian, 1470 01:13:20,977 --> 01:13:22,246 no none of that shit! 1471 01:13:26,084 --> 01:13:28,082 You said this would be open! 1472 01:13:28,084 --> 01:13:30,653 Why isn't it open? 1473 01:13:30,655 --> 01:13:32,223 I'm not going to fucking jail. 1474 01:13:33,324 --> 01:13:37,292 And I'm not getting arrested in baby blue Spandex, man. 1475 01:13:37,294 --> 01:13:40,762 Hey, hey, hey, let's just go out the front doors. 1476 01:13:40,764 --> 01:13:42,534 Are you fucking nuts? 1477 01:13:43,301 --> 01:13:44,803 Yeah. 1478 01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:48,540 Fucking white people. 1479 01:13:58,850 --> 01:14:01,783 Jesus, what the hell is that smell? 1480 01:14:01,785 --> 01:14:03,351 I'm too old for this shit. 1481 01:14:03,353 --> 01:14:06,055 I'm some fucking TV star. 1482 01:14:06,057 --> 01:14:09,292 I'm in a fucking pipe over a Comicon convention. 1483 01:14:09,294 --> 01:14:11,493 Gotta stop doing so many drugs. 1484 01:14:11,495 --> 01:14:14,764 That's what you get for dropping acid at a Bananarama concert. 1485 01:14:20,672 --> 01:14:22,505 Oh, wrong ear. 1486 01:14:22,839 --> 01:14:24,939 Hi, Dad. 1487 01:14:24,941 --> 01:14:27,676 No, I don't know what... No, soda. 1488 01:14:27,678 --> 01:14:31,282 Soda. That's why it's called a scotch and soda. 1489 01:14:32,150 --> 01:14:34,285 I gotta call you back. I'm busy. 1490 01:14:34,718 --> 01:14:36,387 I'm in a tube. 1491 01:14:41,993 --> 01:14:43,993 I think they come out at night. 1492 01:14:43,995 --> 01:14:46,131 I think they come out at night. 1493 01:14:51,236 --> 01:14:53,135 Brock, where are you? 1494 01:14:53,137 --> 01:14:54,836 Guys, I'm stuck. I'm lost. 1495 01:14:54,838 --> 01:14:56,204 You can't go back to Gil's office. 1496 01:14:56,206 --> 01:14:57,372 Callahan just got back. 1497 01:14:57,374 --> 01:14:58,774 Just stay where you are. 1498 01:14:58,776 --> 01:14:59,875 We'll come get you. 1499 01:14:59,877 --> 01:15:01,077 Oh, that smell. 1500 01:15:01,079 --> 01:15:02,478 Would you please shut up? 1501 01:15:02,480 --> 01:15:04,646 Man's trying to take a shit here! 1502 01:15:04,648 --> 01:15:06,049 Those tits are huge! 1503 01:15:06,051 --> 01:15:07,550 I have no idea where I am. 1504 01:15:07,552 --> 01:15:09,284 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna head up. 1505 01:15:09,286 --> 01:15:12,087 This cannot be this fucking hard. 1506 01:15:12,089 --> 01:15:13,723 No. 1507 01:15:13,725 --> 01:15:15,123 Jesus Chri... 1508 01:15:17,562 --> 01:15:19,929 It's like beef and broccoli. 1509 01:15:19,931 --> 01:15:21,262 It's like... Oh, my God. 1510 01:15:21,264 --> 01:15:22,698 All right, I'll give you that one. 1511 01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:24,399 That one was bad. 1512 01:15:25,436 --> 01:15:27,536 Listen, stop it! Just get me out. 1513 01:15:27,538 --> 01:15:29,971 Mister, get me out! 1514 01:15:31,575 --> 01:15:33,542 Shouldn't have had that hot dog. 1515 01:15:33,544 --> 01:15:35,744 It's like making out with David Lee Roth. 1516 01:15:35,746 --> 01:15:38,514 I will come up there, so help me to God! 1517 01:15:38,516 --> 01:15:41,550 I'm gonna come up there! 1518 01:15:41,552 --> 01:15:43,685 What the fuck is wrong with people? 1519 01:15:43,687 --> 01:15:44,853 Get me out of here. 1520 01:15:44,855 --> 01:15:46,956 Somebody get me out of here. 1521 01:15:49,826 --> 01:15:51,159 Ahh! 1522 01:15:51,161 --> 01:15:53,365 Oh, my God, kung pao chicken. 1523 01:15:53,798 --> 01:15:55,162 Fine! 1524 01:15:55,164 --> 01:15:56,631 You win, asshole! 1525 01:15:56,633 --> 01:15:58,000 You win. 1526 01:15:58,002 --> 01:16:00,036 Oh, my God, it's so gross. 1527 01:16:00,038 --> 01:16:01,903 Oh, my God, it's so gross. 1528 01:16:01,905 --> 01:16:03,706 I'ma leave you a little gift. 1529 01:16:03,708 --> 01:16:06,241 I'm not wiping, so fuck you. 1530 01:16:06,243 --> 01:16:07,676 He's not even wiping! 1531 01:16:07,678 --> 01:16:09,314 Guys, you gotta get me out of here. 1532 01:16:11,816 --> 01:16:13,348 Asshole. 1533 01:16:13,350 --> 01:16:17,019 What the hell was that? 1534 01:16:17,021 --> 01:16:19,488 Allison? Allison, get me out of here. 1535 01:16:19,490 --> 01:16:21,223 What the hell? Oh, my God. 1536 01:16:21,225 --> 01:16:23,695 Gotta get me outta here. Get me outta here! 1537 01:16:32,570 --> 01:16:35,470 Brock, whatever's going on with you, you gotta suck it up... 1538 01:16:35,472 --> 01:16:37,672 Please tell me you killed those hard drives. 1539 01:16:37,674 --> 01:16:41,012 You know what? You think it's so fucking... 1540 01:16:42,413 --> 01:16:43,682 Bringo. 1541 01:16:53,825 --> 01:16:55,823 - The drives are dead. - We're stuck. 1542 01:16:55,825 --> 01:16:57,859 Get out. We got a fire alarm that could go off any minute. 1543 01:16:57,861 --> 01:16:59,394 Tonight's screening of Chum 3-D 1544 01:16:59,396 --> 01:17:01,163 - is brought to you by Flotex. - Sid! 1545 01:17:01,165 --> 01:17:02,598 If you're bleeding, you're leaving. 1546 01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:04,533 You're gonna be at the nursing home 1547 01:17:04,535 --> 01:17:06,469 giving out $20 ass-licks up there with them old ladies. 1548 01:17:06,471 --> 01:17:10,575 Yeah! All because you didn't wanna do your fucking job. 1549 01:17:12,677 --> 01:17:14,176 Fuckin'... 1550 01:17:14,178 --> 01:17:16,711 Ah! Shit! 1551 01:17:16,713 --> 01:17:19,216 Come on, let's go. Let's get the fuck outta here. 1552 01:17:22,553 --> 01:17:25,019 You hijacked my panel, Grandpa. 1553 01:17:25,021 --> 01:17:27,555 I've killed men for less. 1554 01:17:27,557 --> 01:17:31,659 Don't you ever get tired of the hacky macho act? 1555 01:17:31,661 --> 01:17:33,829 Don't you turn your back on me, you old hack. 1556 01:17:33,831 --> 01:17:36,030 You know, you come to these conventions 1557 01:17:36,032 --> 01:17:37,399 what, just about every week, 1558 01:17:37,401 --> 01:17:39,368 tell the same old tired stories, 1559 01:17:39,370 --> 01:17:41,002 fleece these kids for all their worth. 1560 01:17:41,004 --> 01:17:43,171 On a certain level, I think that's totally fine. 1561 01:17:43,173 --> 01:17:44,974 You get what you want, and that's great, 1562 01:17:44,976 --> 01:17:47,310 and I guess they get what you think they want. 1563 01:17:47,312 --> 01:17:50,845 And I understand you are at the top of Convention Mountain, 1564 01:17:50,847 --> 01:17:53,482 But I gotta tell you, it's not always gonna be that way. 1565 01:17:53,484 --> 01:17:57,819 What you thought the fans wanted wasn't what they wanted. 1566 01:17:57,821 --> 01:17:59,688 What they wanted was a connection. 1567 01:17:59,690 --> 01:18:02,157 And you never had a connection 1568 01:18:02,159 --> 01:18:05,760 with any of the people that you've spent all this time with. 1569 01:18:05,762 --> 01:18:09,598 You can't even open your eyes to the enjoyment 1570 01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:12,134 that your talent gave to your fans. 1571 01:18:12,136 --> 01:18:14,136 So my prediction for you 1572 01:18:14,138 --> 01:18:17,038 is unpleasantness in the days to come. 1573 01:18:17,040 --> 01:18:21,711 My prediction for you is not much force in your future. 1574 01:18:21,713 --> 01:18:26,348 Now, do you think I am fucking lying to you? 1575 01:18:26,350 --> 01:18:29,451 Do you think I am fucking with you? 1576 01:18:29,453 --> 01:18:33,357 'Cause I'll tell you, I am not fucking with you. 1577 01:18:37,261 --> 01:18:39,661 Adam, we need to talk, man. 1578 01:18:39,663 --> 01:18:42,230 No, listen, it's all right. I was just busting his balls. 1579 01:18:42,232 --> 01:18:43,435 Oh, God! 1580 01:18:45,503 --> 01:18:48,170 Damn! What was that all about? 1581 01:18:48,172 --> 01:18:51,672 It's okay. What... What's the issue? 1582 01:18:51,674 --> 01:18:54,576 Son of a bitch! 1583 01:18:54,578 --> 01:18:57,579 - What'd they look like? - Fuckin' Future Gold. 1584 01:18:57,581 --> 01:18:59,280 One of 'em's gold, one of 'em's purple. 1585 01:18:59,282 --> 01:19:00,782 I know what the Future Fucks look like. 1586 01:19:00,784 --> 01:19:02,818 - Grab the intern, get my money. - Copy that. 1587 01:19:02,820 --> 01:19:04,920 I didn't spend a whole weekend shaking hands 1588 01:19:04,922 --> 01:19:06,788 and signing shit for these assholes for free. 1589 01:19:06,790 --> 01:19:08,791 - I'll take it out of your hide. - Out of my... 1590 01:19:08,793 --> 01:19:10,524 We regret to inform you 1591 01:19:10,526 --> 01:19:12,694 that Supercon is officially over. 1592 01:19:12,696 --> 01:19:14,462 We are closing the doors. 1593 01:19:14,464 --> 01:19:15,730 Who the fuck gave them authority to do that? 1594 01:19:15,732 --> 01:19:17,600 Shut up, shut up. 1595 01:19:17,602 --> 01:19:19,600 Somebody on your team has their head out of their ass. 1596 01:19:19,602 --> 01:19:22,770 That means there's only one way out for these pricks now. 1597 01:19:22,772 --> 01:19:25,408 Close all the doors. No exceptions! None! 1598 01:19:25,410 --> 01:19:27,612 - Come on. - No exceptions. 1599 01:19:40,190 --> 01:19:41,823 Get outta my way! 1600 01:19:41,825 --> 01:19:43,727 - VIP coming through! - Hey! 1601 01:19:46,830 --> 01:19:48,563 We regret to inform you 1602 01:19:48,565 --> 01:19:51,033 that Supercon is officially over. 1603 01:19:51,035 --> 01:19:52,501 We are closing the doors. 1604 01:19:52,503 --> 01:19:54,802 Please make your way to the main exit 1605 01:19:54,804 --> 01:19:57,275 at the front of the convention center. 1606 01:20:04,947 --> 01:20:06,551 My turn, asshole! 1607 01:20:08,852 --> 01:20:09,984 Nut check. 1608 01:20:22,900 --> 01:20:25,635 Go, go, go! I got this. 1609 01:20:25,637 --> 01:20:27,502 Fuck that. I'm not leaving without you. 1610 01:20:27,504 --> 01:20:29,037 I will find you. Go, go. 1611 01:20:29,039 --> 01:20:32,409 No. I'll never be the same without you. 1612 01:20:41,052 --> 01:20:43,188 My God. 1613 01:20:43,986 --> 01:20:45,653 Who's there? 1614 01:20:45,655 --> 01:20:49,091 Help me! Somebody there? Somebody give me a towel. 1615 01:20:49,093 --> 01:20:50,595 A wet wipe? 1616 01:20:51,529 --> 01:20:52,994 Maybe a napkin? 1617 01:20:52,996 --> 01:20:55,329 Somebody? Who's there? 1618 01:20:55,331 --> 01:20:57,399 Oh, my God. 1619 01:20:57,401 --> 01:20:59,370 It's in my mouth. 1620 01:21:00,271 --> 01:21:01,903 Oh, my God, who's there? 1621 01:21:01,905 --> 01:21:03,507 Help me! 1622 01:21:03,907 --> 01:21:05,642 Help me! 1623 01:21:06,843 --> 01:21:11,582 When I say "scat," I mean get away. 1624 01:21:14,418 --> 01:21:15,984 Who's there? Who's there? 1625 01:21:15,986 --> 01:21:17,755 Oh, my God. 1626 01:21:18,454 --> 01:21:20,357 I want my mother. 1627 01:21:25,295 --> 01:21:28,329 Allison, don't worry about Brock. I got him. 1628 01:21:28,331 --> 01:21:31,434 Gather our stuff and let's get the hell outta Dodge. 1629 01:21:31,436 --> 01:21:32,904 Thanks, Sid, you're the best. 1630 01:21:52,557 --> 01:21:54,892 Hey, you... 1631 01:22:22,953 --> 01:22:24,586 Okay. 1632 01:22:24,588 --> 01:22:26,220 Hey, I got a question. Where'd you get that suit? 1633 01:22:26,222 --> 01:22:27,922 My son loves this show. He thinks it's awesome. 1634 01:22:27,924 --> 01:22:29,891 You see Adam King? That guy was dynamite. 1635 01:22:29,893 --> 01:22:32,394 LARPing, right? We were just talking about this. 1636 01:22:32,396 --> 01:22:34,395 It's incredible. Just smile. 1637 01:22:34,397 --> 01:22:36,431 Last picture this guy will ever have with a full set of teeth. 1638 01:22:36,433 --> 01:22:38,801 All right, hold on, tough guy. We'll get to you in a minute. 1639 01:22:39,770 --> 01:22:41,903 All right, okay, all right. 1640 01:22:41,905 --> 01:22:44,607 Uh, you know where the hentai room is? 1641 01:22:44,609 --> 01:22:46,108 The wife, she's into all that. 1642 01:22:47,578 --> 01:22:49,010 Oh, sorry for interrupting. I'm sorry. 1643 01:22:49,012 --> 01:22:51,683 Get back to your stupid... Let's go. 1644 01:22:56,853 --> 01:22:59,488 You are not gonna believe 1645 01:22:59,490 --> 01:23:01,689 how shitty the camera on my phone is, 1646 01:23:01,691 --> 01:23:04,525 'cause this was totally so blurry. 1647 01:23:04,527 --> 01:23:07,229 One more, one more. 1648 01:23:07,231 --> 01:23:08,896 All right, get in there. 1649 01:23:08,898 --> 01:23:09,797 Hentai! 1650 01:23:09,799 --> 01:23:12,000 Fantastic. 1651 01:23:12,002 --> 01:23:15,304 Hey, what do you got that big sword for, big guy? 1652 01:23:15,306 --> 01:23:16,872 Pick on this little guy? 1653 01:23:16,874 --> 01:23:18,140 You're gonna kick his ass anyway. Who cares? 1654 01:23:18,142 --> 01:23:19,308 Just drop the sword. 1655 01:23:19,310 --> 01:23:21,309 Come on! 1656 01:23:21,311 --> 01:23:23,511 Nice. Thank you. 1657 01:23:23,513 --> 01:23:25,814 He is gonna kill you. Let's go. 1658 01:23:25,816 --> 01:23:27,819 Thank you very much, gentlemen. 1659 01:23:38,829 --> 01:23:41,432 Come with me if you want to live. 1660 01:23:43,032 --> 01:23:44,099 Nice. 1661 01:23:44,101 --> 01:23:45,734 Go, go, go! 1662 01:23:45,736 --> 01:23:48,269 I got a bad feeling about this. 1663 01:23:48,271 --> 01:23:49,473 Yeah! 1664 01:23:50,941 --> 01:23:53,574 King! Love the weave! 1665 01:23:53,576 --> 01:23:56,577 Like this? 1666 01:23:56,579 --> 01:23:58,247 Oh, shit! 1667 01:23:58,249 --> 01:24:00,314 Keith! Keith! 1668 01:24:00,316 --> 01:24:01,518 I'm okay. 1669 01:24:02,119 --> 01:24:03,618 You're an idiot. 1670 01:24:03,620 --> 01:24:05,653 Hey! Watch where you're going, assholes! 1671 01:24:05,655 --> 01:24:06,921 Yeah, he can't drive, man. 1672 01:24:06,923 --> 01:24:08,960 Boys, don't forget your backpacks. 1673 01:24:10,093 --> 01:24:11,696 Thanks, Ms. Lily. 1674 01:24:16,534 --> 01:24:18,934 Holy shit, you're Adam King. Can I get your autograph? 1675 01:24:18,936 --> 01:24:21,702 Where are those sons of bitches? 1676 01:24:21,704 --> 01:24:24,372 There. There they are. Come on. 1677 01:24:24,374 --> 01:24:25,806 They're getting away! 1678 01:24:25,808 --> 01:24:27,509 Not before I kill 'em. Bitches, move. 1679 01:24:27,511 --> 01:24:29,711 - Get in there. - I can't drive no car. 1680 01:24:29,713 --> 01:24:32,247 - Shut up! Get in there! - The fuck is this, man? 1681 01:24:32,249 --> 01:24:36,385 I can't even drive a stick. 1682 01:24:36,387 --> 01:24:37,822 Go! 1683 01:24:42,692 --> 01:24:45,226 - Come on! - Hey, what the fuck you doin'? 1684 01:24:45,228 --> 01:24:46,728 - Hey! - Come on, Gil. 1685 01:24:46,730 --> 01:24:49,998 - You gonna kill us. - Drive, you son of a... 1686 01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:51,766 You see what he did to my hair? 1687 01:24:51,768 --> 01:24:53,734 Your hair was already fucked up. 1688 01:24:53,736 --> 01:24:55,806 They put their hands on me. 1689 01:24:59,042 --> 01:25:02,543 Go! What's the matter with you? You crazy? 1690 01:25:02,545 --> 01:25:04,746 There they are. 1691 01:25:04,748 --> 01:25:06,681 I got 'em. I got their ass. 1692 01:25:06,683 --> 01:25:08,449 Come on, man, accelerate! 1693 01:25:08,451 --> 01:25:10,185 What the... Hey! 1694 01:25:10,187 --> 01:25:11,252 Yeah, right here. 1695 01:25:11,254 --> 01:25:13,287 - Help! - Yeah! 1696 01:25:13,289 --> 01:25:14,691 Help! 1697 01:25:15,592 --> 01:25:17,725 Okay, okay, okay, slow down. 1698 01:25:17,727 --> 01:25:20,095 It not working. It not working! 1699 01:25:22,665 --> 01:25:24,832 What the fuck? 1700 01:25:24,834 --> 01:25:27,469 Oh! Get me outta this shit! 1701 01:25:27,471 --> 01:25:29,438 You call the police. 1702 01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:30,671 No! I'm getting the fuck outta here! 1703 01:25:30,673 --> 01:25:32,640 Smartphone? 1704 01:25:32,642 --> 01:25:36,144 TMZ would pay a fortune, no? 1705 01:25:36,146 --> 01:25:38,148 I'm gonna kill these guys! 1706 01:25:40,383 --> 01:25:41,984 Gimme that shit. 1707 01:25:41,986 --> 01:25:44,021 Where's the fucking money at, man? 1708 01:25:47,090 --> 01:25:50,059 - Where's the shit? - Where's my money? 1709 01:25:50,061 --> 01:25:51,792 - Where the fuck is the money? - I don't know. 1710 01:25:51,794 --> 01:25:53,595 Just play it cool, Keith. 1711 01:25:53,597 --> 01:25:55,262 - Hey, hey, shit! - Where's my money? 1712 01:25:55,264 --> 01:25:56,463 What money? 1713 01:25:56,465 --> 01:25:58,033 My money, you... 1714 01:25:58,035 --> 01:26:00,835 Went all weekend collecting this stuff, man. 1715 01:26:00,837 --> 01:26:02,637 Why were you guys running then, huh? 1716 01:26:02,639 --> 01:26:04,139 'Cause you two fucks fired us. 1717 01:26:04,141 --> 01:26:06,073 - Adam. - Just shut the fuck up, Gil. 1718 01:26:06,075 --> 01:26:09,211 Look, I know you two stole my money. 1719 01:26:09,213 --> 01:26:11,345 You think I'd come here on the weekends 1720 01:26:11,347 --> 01:26:15,250 and sign stuff for these sweaty bastards because I want to? 1721 01:26:15,252 --> 01:26:18,853 Because I crave their attention? Because I want their approval? 1722 01:26:18,855 --> 01:26:21,489 No. I'm Adam Fucking King. 1723 01:26:21,491 --> 01:26:24,259 That shit is Sid's job with his little fucking bow tie 1724 01:26:24,261 --> 01:26:26,394 and his suspenders and his shitty toupee. 1725 01:26:26,396 --> 01:26:29,098 I'm Adam King! Where's my fucking money? 1726 01:26:29,100 --> 01:26:30,799 You think there's room in these outfits 1727 01:26:30,801 --> 01:26:32,835 for your greedy money, you shithead? 1728 01:26:32,837 --> 01:26:34,970 - Well, let's find out. - Hey, whoa! 1729 01:26:34,972 --> 01:26:36,270 Here, Mr. King, here. That should cover them. 1730 01:26:36,272 --> 01:26:37,473 What is this? 1731 01:26:37,475 --> 01:26:38,940 It's for a photo op with you. 1732 01:26:38,942 --> 01:26:40,375 I'm sure these guys meant to pay you, 1733 01:26:40,377 --> 01:26:42,010 but that's all I have left. 1734 01:26:42,012 --> 01:26:43,811 Your prices were a little outrageous this year, 1735 01:26:43,813 --> 01:26:45,712 - if I do say so myself. - Are you kidding me? 1736 01:26:45,714 --> 01:26:49,251 I'm talking hundreds of thousands of dollars they stole. 1737 01:26:49,253 --> 01:26:50,685 Hundreds of thousands. 1738 01:26:50,687 --> 01:26:52,119 I don't have it, man. 1739 01:26:52,121 --> 01:26:54,255 Make sure you all get my good side. 1740 01:26:54,257 --> 01:26:56,891 God knows you morons don't have one. 1741 01:26:56,893 --> 01:26:59,760 - Let's get the fuck outta here. - Look at yourselves! 1742 01:26:59,762 --> 01:27:03,265 Painted faces, rhinestones everywhere. 1743 01:27:03,267 --> 01:27:05,333 Stupid costumes! God! 1744 01:27:05,335 --> 01:27:08,369 I got it all, and that's the way it's gonna stay. 1745 01:27:08,371 --> 01:27:11,640 I see any of this on the Internet, I'll sue you all! 1746 01:27:11,642 --> 01:27:13,177 I'm Adam Fucking King! 1747 01:27:13,611 --> 01:27:15,580 Future Force! 1748 01:27:16,379 --> 01:27:17,479 Shazam. 1749 01:27:17,481 --> 01:27:18,979 - Yeah. - Hey. 1750 01:27:18,981 --> 01:27:21,282 Oh, wow, a Future Force helmet. 1751 01:27:21,284 --> 01:27:22,751 This is for me? 1752 01:27:22,753 --> 01:27:24,288 The future is yours. 1753 01:27:24,588 --> 01:27:26,123 Cool. 1754 01:27:27,057 --> 01:27:29,627 Hey, aren't you the ball cancer kid? 1755 01:27:30,259 --> 01:27:32,327 Yeah. Yeah, I am. 1756 01:27:32,329 --> 01:27:33,730 Nice. 1757 01:27:35,999 --> 01:27:38,166 Oh, so sweaty inside. 1758 01:27:38,168 --> 01:27:41,435 Ugh! And it stinks! 1759 01:27:41,437 --> 01:27:43,873 Ugh! Like ball cancer. 1760 01:27:46,043 --> 01:27:48,309 Don't even ask. The money's gone. 1761 01:27:48,311 --> 01:27:49,844 Oh, my God, Brock. 1762 01:27:49,846 --> 01:27:52,650 Not another word, Matt. Not another word. 1763 01:28:02,659 --> 01:28:06,797 You guys didn't think you'd get away that easy, did you? 1764 01:28:11,368 --> 01:28:12,734 No way. 1765 01:28:12,736 --> 01:28:14,068 Ms. Lily? 1766 01:28:14,070 --> 01:28:16,637 I gotta hand it to you guys. 1767 01:28:16,639 --> 01:28:18,540 You sure made this Fourth of July fun, 1768 01:28:18,542 --> 01:28:21,842 even if I did have to dig Brock out of the bathroom. 1769 01:28:21,844 --> 01:28:23,246 That was you? 1770 01:28:28,317 --> 01:28:29,917 Don't worry. That's all yours. 1771 01:28:29,919 --> 01:28:32,119 - I already took my share. - What? 1772 01:28:32,121 --> 01:28:34,989 Well, I put a little extra in there for Keith. 1773 01:28:34,991 --> 01:28:37,326 If I hadn't drawn that big cock on King's car, 1774 01:28:37,328 --> 01:28:39,094 Gil probably wouldn't have fired you. 1775 01:28:39,096 --> 01:28:40,895 I felt just a tad bit responsible. 1776 01:28:40,897 --> 01:28:42,866 Yeah, but how did you... 1777 01:28:45,235 --> 01:28:46,771 Duh. 1778 01:28:47,637 --> 01:28:49,704 You mean J.K. Rowling? 1779 01:28:49,706 --> 01:28:51,142 Thanks, Dumbledore. 1780 01:29:00,183 --> 01:29:04,719 We regret to inform you that Supercon is officially over. 1781 01:29:06,222 --> 01:29:10,091 - Help me! - Thank you, Ms. Lily. 1782 01:29:10,093 --> 01:29:11,760 I did that Dragoncon job 1783 01:29:11,762 --> 01:29:14,162 because who's gonna put Ms. Lily, 1784 01:29:14,164 --> 01:29:16,930 loved, adored, respected, children's show host 1785 01:29:16,932 --> 01:29:18,699 behind bars? 1786 01:29:18,701 --> 01:29:21,802 Besides, it's a hell of a rush being more bad than good. 1787 01:29:21,804 --> 01:29:24,008 Right now we gotta get outta here. 1788 01:29:24,540 --> 01:29:26,341 And, sweetie... 1789 01:29:26,343 --> 01:29:29,777 My couch pulls out, but you don't have to. 1790 01:29:29,779 --> 01:29:31,212 Oh, snap. 1791 01:29:32,414 --> 01:29:34,916 Well done, lady. 1792 01:29:34,918 --> 01:29:37,288 You guys did amazing. 1793 01:29:38,489 --> 01:29:39,824 Yeah, her too. 1794 01:29:40,690 --> 01:29:43,324 Oh, oh, my God. 1795 01:29:43,326 --> 01:29:44,928 Not one word. 1796 01:29:46,896 --> 01:29:48,363 I was number four! 1797 01:29:48,365 --> 01:29:52,300 Number four sexiest man in the world, 1982. 1798 01:29:52,302 --> 01:29:54,601 You know what? Fuck the fans. 1799 01:29:54,603 --> 01:29:58,239 I'm done with all you fucking hairless fanboys. 1800 01:29:58,241 --> 01:30:00,210 I think you got it backwards. 1801 01:30:00,977 --> 01:30:02,644 We're done with you! 1802 01:30:02,646 --> 01:30:06,614 Oh, the mouth-breather speaks. What'd you say? 1803 01:30:06,616 --> 01:30:08,917 Yeah, fuck you, Adam King! 1804 01:30:08,919 --> 01:30:11,118 Yeah, you supposed to be treating the fans 1805 01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:12,988 with love and loyalty, 1806 01:30:12,990 --> 01:30:14,622 and you treat the fans like that? 1807 01:30:14,624 --> 01:30:17,759 Fuck you! Supercon don't want your ass either! 1808 01:30:17,761 --> 01:30:21,296 Supercon's done with your old KFC-looking ass. 1809 01:30:21,298 --> 01:30:23,163 You would never try to screw anyone 1810 01:30:23,165 --> 01:30:25,600 out of their hard-earned money, 1811 01:30:25,602 --> 01:30:27,170 would you, Gil? 1812 01:30:27,670 --> 01:30:30,005 Douche nozzle! 1813 01:30:30,007 --> 01:30:31,573 Little motherfucker. 1814 01:30:31,575 --> 01:30:34,475 Are you all getting good shots for free? 1815 01:30:34,477 --> 01:30:35,976 This should cost you. 1816 01:30:35,978 --> 01:30:38,479 Geez, you all are pathetic. Look at you. 1817 01:30:39,950 --> 01:30:42,650 What are you laughing about? 1818 01:30:42,652 --> 01:30:44,219 What, you think this is funny? 1819 01:30:44,221 --> 01:30:46,054 What is the matter with you people? 1820 01:30:46,056 --> 01:30:48,122 Liberace, you know him? 1821 01:30:48,124 --> 01:30:50,425 He hit on me four times. 1822 01:30:50,427 --> 01:30:52,827 What has happened to this country? 1823 01:30:52,829 --> 01:30:54,195 You wanna be me. 1824 01:30:54,197 --> 01:30:56,131 All you women wanna be with me. 1825 01:30:56,133 --> 01:30:59,399 You see, I have something you all don't have. 1826 01:30:59,401 --> 01:31:01,936 You know what it is? Power! 1827 01:31:01,938 --> 01:31:04,874 I'm the power of a celebrity, and you... 1828 01:31:15,052 --> 01:31:18,355 Rule number one... Don't fuck with the fans. 1829 01:31:20,124 --> 01:31:23,524 Told you that car was a piece of shit. 1830 01:31:23,526 --> 01:31:25,092 Don't mess with me! 1831 01:31:25,094 --> 01:31:27,298 Don't mess with the King. 1832 01:31:32,235 --> 01:31:35,503 Hey, NerdGasm! Rob, Sean. 1833 01:31:35,505 --> 01:31:37,270 We just got back from Supercon, and holy shit, 1834 01:31:37,272 --> 01:31:39,877 Adam King lost his mind! 1835 01:31:42,044 --> 01:31:43,677 Social retards. 1836 01:31:43,679 --> 01:31:47,448 You're 180 degrees of pathetic copycats. 1837 01:31:47,450 --> 01:31:51,219 While you all are beating off in your grandparents' garage, 1838 01:31:51,221 --> 01:31:52,720 I'm gonna be banging a supermodel. 1839 01:31:52,722 --> 01:31:54,655 What do you think of that, huh? 1840 01:31:54,657 --> 01:31:56,625 Sean can't even get his fucking helmet off. 1841 01:31:56,627 --> 01:31:59,597 My whole world is blowing. It's going like this. 1842 01:32:02,031 --> 01:32:03,832 What do you know? J.J. Abrams? 1843 01:32:03,834 --> 01:32:06,400 He sent me the script for Lost, right? 1844 01:32:06,402 --> 01:32:08,903 What a stupid name. Then I fired his ass. 1845 01:32:08,905 --> 01:32:12,239 We don't know what's happening. Like shit is crazy. 1846 01:32:12,241 --> 01:32:14,275 We got fucking kids stealing shit. 1847 01:32:14,277 --> 01:32:16,711 Everybody, steal some shit. He doesn't have cameras here. 1848 01:32:16,713 --> 01:32:19,014 Come down to Lickety Split and steal some shit. 1849 01:32:19,016 --> 01:32:21,082 You know Joss Whedon? 1850 01:32:21,084 --> 01:32:23,216 - Joss? - Yeah, we know Joss. 1851 01:32:23,218 --> 01:32:25,653 I'm the guy that told him to drop the H, 1852 01:32:25,655 --> 01:32:27,555 so he would stand out. 1853 01:32:27,557 --> 01:32:30,558 Joss Whedon owes me his entire career. 1854 01:32:30,560 --> 01:32:32,260 That was actually a pretty good suggestion. 1855 01:32:32,262 --> 01:32:34,195 Yeah, it was, wasn't it? 1856 01:32:34,197 --> 01:32:35,963 What are you, the sweatiest man in the world? 1857 01:32:35,965 --> 01:32:37,399 What's up, YouTube? 1858 01:32:37,401 --> 01:32:39,333 Adam King at the end of Supercon. 1859 01:32:39,335 --> 01:32:43,240 He makes Mel Gibson look like a freaking pre-school teacher. 1860 01:32:44,840 --> 01:32:47,542 Carrie Fisher and I got to second base. 1861 01:32:47,544 --> 01:32:50,679 I was drunk. You know who she is, don't you? 1862 01:32:50,681 --> 01:32:51,915 Duh! 1863 01:32:53,115 --> 01:32:54,783 Adam King is fucked. 1864 01:32:54,785 --> 01:32:56,818 He just stepped into a big vat of shit. 1865 01:32:56,820 --> 01:32:58,219 Supercon is done. 1866 01:32:58,221 --> 01:33:00,757 The future is fucked. Forced. 1867 01:33:02,258 --> 01:33:04,693 You think that David O. Russell shit was something? 1868 01:33:04,695 --> 01:33:06,161 Wait till you see this. 1869 01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:08,195 We are going to sell this shit to TMZ, 1870 01:33:08,197 --> 01:33:09,831 and we're going to be rich! 1871 01:33:09,833 --> 01:33:11,198 I cannot wait for it. 1872 01:33:16,740 --> 01:33:19,040 Warren Beatty is my wingman. 1873 01:33:19,042 --> 01:33:20,841 Hasselhoff's a pussy. 1874 01:33:20,843 --> 01:33:24,114 I got it all, and that's the way it's gonna stay. 1875 01:33:24,746 --> 01:33:26,350 Fuck the fans. 1876 01:34:07,924 --> 01:34:10,026 Hey, watch it! 1877 01:34:14,364 --> 01:34:16,229 You're Lizzie Fisher? 1878 01:34:16,231 --> 01:34:18,332 I love your movies so much. 1879 01:34:18,334 --> 01:34:21,101 Can I have your autograph? 1880 01:34:21,103 --> 01:34:23,270 Princesses don't work for free, kid. 1881 01:34:23,272 --> 01:34:24,704 Let's go. 1882 01:34:26,810 --> 01:34:28,275 Let's go get you drunk. 1883 01:34:28,277 --> 01:34:29,543 I knew there was a reason I liked you. 1884 01:34:30,914 --> 01:34:32,215 Twat. 1885 01:39:45,660 --> 01:39:48,065 Supercon is officially over. 1886 01:39:48,067 --> 01:39:50,539 Subtitles by explosiveskull