1
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:56,680
So many people settle for love that
doesn't really ask anything of them,
2
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,428
that they don't have to make
any sacrifices for.
3
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:01,638
I don't want that.
4
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,855
I want an ideal love
that I have to give everything to.
5
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,774
Where are you?
6
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,818
Where are you?
7
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,622
Why are you doing this?
8
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,813
In the name of the Father...
9
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:37,355
Benedicamus Domino
10
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,655
Benedicamus Domino
11
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,581
Dear Christ.
12
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,248
I was 17 years old
when I came to the convent,
13
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,546
18 when I entered the novitiate.
14
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,533
I know a lot of people
could probably never understand...
15
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,539
Never understand how someone so young
16
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,961
with their entire life ahead of them
17
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,674
would want to give it all away to God.
18
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:29,509
They think of nuns today,
and they see a bunch of old women.
19
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,811
Women who couldn't find husbands,
20
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,480
or for some reason,
21
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,774
just couldn't make it
in the outside world.
22
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:48,445
So they ran off to a monastery
to escape everything.
23
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,338
What they don't understand
is that beneath everything else...
24
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,899
We were women in love.
25
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,527
You're all I could ever want.
26
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,686
You ready for this?
27
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,934
Okay, you can come right out this way.
28
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,617
Is my hair all right?
29
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,248
Good morning, Father.
30
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,253
Nora Harris? I can't believe it.
Is it you?
31
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,304
Hey, Rob, it sure is. How you been?
32
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,054
I've been good. I've been real good.
33
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:38,013
Now, wait a minute. Now don't tell me.
Is this Cathleen?
34
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,727
It sure is. Can you believe it?
Look how big she got.
35
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,400
My goodness. Hey, pretty lady.
How are you?
36
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,694
You know, you're not allowed
to grow up that fast.
37
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,648
Soon, you'll be taller than me.
38
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,159
I gotta say, Nora, I'm a little
surprised to see you here.
39
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,577
I've known you all my life,
40
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,077
and I don't think I've ever seen you
within 500 yards of a Sunday service.
41
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,079
Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up.
42
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,910
I'm not here to be saved
or nothing like that.
43
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,165
I just thought it about time
44
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,963
that Cathleen learned
what religion was about.
45
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,758
- Or supposed to be about, you know.
- Yeah.
46
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,676
Plus, we were a little bored,
weren't we?
47
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,255
Well, hey, that's all right with me.
I'm just glad you're here.
48
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,806
- Let's get y'all a good seat.
- All right.
49
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,179
Come on in. Right there's two,
right up front there.
50
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,181
Blessed be God the Father.
51
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,436
Because although you have
not seen Him, you still love Him.
52
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:26,352
Although you do not know Him,
you still believe in Him.
53
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,740
You feel His presence all around
without knowing His name,
54
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:35,069
and you rejoice
with an indescribable ecstasy.
55
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,698
Because if there's one thing we know,
56
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,785
it's that God's love is unconditional.
57
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,373
Put your napkin in your lap.
58
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,134
Thank you.
59
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,642
Did you like going to that church today?
60
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,560
Yeah, I did.
61
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:01,808
Yeah?
62
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,522
What'd you like about it the most?
63
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,102
I don't know.
64
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,688
I guess I just thought it was peaceful.
65
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,858
"Peaceful," huh?
66
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,204
Yeah, I guess it was kind of peaceful.
67
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,497
What kind of church was it, again?
68
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,417
That was a Catholic church.
69
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,921
Are we Catholic?
70
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,174
No, we're not anything.
71
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,798
I don't really believe
in religion, actually.
72
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,220
I think it's kind of a waste of time.
73
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:40,685
But when you're older,
you can decide for yourself.
74
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,530
Looks like Daddy's home.
75
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,373
Hey, hey, hey, baby.
76
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,664
How's Daddy's little girl?
77
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,925
What'd you do today?
Did you have a good day today?
78
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,127
Daddy, where were you?
79
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,802
We've been waiting for you for so long.
80
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,472
Yeah, it's a valid question, Chuck.
Where you been?
81
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,140
I was out. That's all.
82
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:24,937
Okay. 'Cause we've been
sitting here all day, waiting on you.
83
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,639
You never heard of a phone or...
84
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,146
Come on, Nora, please.
Of course I've heard of a phone.
85
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,353
Well, that's good.
You've heard of a phone. That's nice.
86
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,947
What do you want me to say, Nora?
87
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,364
Is there anything in particular
that you'd like to hear me say?
88
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,489
I don't know, Chuck.
89
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,322
Maybe I'd just like you to be a man
every once in a while, you know?
90
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,156
Be a fucking father for a change,
91
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,207
maybe learn to sacrifice a little bit.
92
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,628
Give me a break, okay?
Are you serious with that?
93
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,297
What, you want me to drop it, Chuck?
Is that what you want?
94
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,624
- Yeah!
- Well, fuck you!
95
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,802
Fuck me? Fuck you, Nora!
96
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,301
As a matter of fact, fuck all this shit!
97
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,471
I'm sick of this!
98
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,175
I'm sorry that I can't be
the person you want me to be!
99
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,135
No, you can't be the man
I wanted you to be.
100
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,062
- You are the opposite of that!
- Okay. All right.
101
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,607
I was out! That's all!
You can't handle that, I'm gone!
102
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:11,979
Where do you think you're going, Chuck?
103
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,060
You're not leaving!
104
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,396
You got a little girl now! Hear me?
105
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,528
- If you leave, you get out!
- Well, fuck you!
106
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,831
Honey, will you take this for me?
107
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,041
You got it?
108
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,752
Excuse me?
109
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,678
Can I help you?
110
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,596
Yes. Are you Mrs Harris?
111
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,558
- Yes.
- My name is Sister Gloria.
112
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,431
This is Sister Eleanor.
113
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,513
We're from Our Lady of Blessed Sorrows,
114
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,939
the parochial school just up the road.
115
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:57,067
We are very proud to say
that it is the nuns, Sisters like us,
116
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,400
who have built the
Catholic school system in this country,
117
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,280
brick by brick.
118
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,204
Your little one is so lovely,
by the way.
119
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,703
May I ask how old?
120
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,999
Cathleen is 12.
121
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,163
Look, we appreciate your coming by,
122
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,624
but the truth is,
we're not all that religious.
123
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,589
I mean, we go to church when we can,
like everybody else.
124
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,137
But my husband, Cathleen's father,
125
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:25,682
he left us a while back,
so it's just me taking care of us.
126
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,511
Sorry to hear that, Mrs Harris.
127
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,437
God cherishes your strength.
128
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,480
But one thing you should know,
129
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,900
our doors are open to everyone,
130
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,569
practising, non-practising alike.
131
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:42,070
Our first priority is just to provide
an exceptional education.
132
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,280
Well, how much does it cost? I don't
know if we can afford this school.
133
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,080
Well, that's just it.
134
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,001
Right now, we're offering
full scholarships
135
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,249
on a first-come basis.
136
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,251
Silence, girls.
137
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,832
Silence.
138
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,549
How many in this room
were baptised Catholic?
139
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:08,847
Don't worry, this is not a judgement
on anybody's background or belief.
140
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,851
No, the reason I ask the question
141
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:16,309
is because I wonder if any of you know
142
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,941
what the difference is
between the Catholic religion
143
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,567
and all the other religions.
144
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:25,868
Say like, the Protestants,
the Baptists, the Jews?
145
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,204
Love
146
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,167
and sacrifice.
147
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,917
Love and sacrifice.
148
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,293
Because if there's one thing
I know for certain,
149
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,676
there can be no love
150
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,178
without sacrifice.
151
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,271
Hi, there.
152
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,604
How come you're sitting all alone?
153
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,281
You don't wanna join the others?
154
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,702
They're all talking
about their boyfriends.
155
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,288
I don't have a boyfriend.
156
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,741
Oh, no?
157
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,038
Me, neither.
158
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,041
I'm told they're overrated.
159
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,589
Mind if I join you?
160
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,553
I'm Sister Margaret, by the way.
You're Cathleen, right?
161
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:30,429
I haven't had you in my class yet,
but I've noticed you
162
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,555
because you're shy, like me.
163
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:37,185
You seem to like to be
by yourself a lot, to think a lot?
164
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,016
I guess so.
165
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,103
I like to be by myself
and think a lot, too.
166
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,812
You do?
167
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,190
What do you like to think about?
168
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,776
Mostly about God.
169
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,290
Can I show you something?
170
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,252
You see that light in there?
171
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,126
That's His light.
172
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:07,550
And the statue to the side,
the Savior, of course, Jesus Christ.
173
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,341
Here, you wanna sit down for a sec?
174
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,689
Go ahead.
175
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,779
Just because someone likes to be alone
176
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,733
doesn't mean they don't still
crave intimacy.
177
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:35,497
You really think God and Jesus are real?
178
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,917
Of course I do. I more than do.
179
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,336
'Cause I'm married to them, silly.
180
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,958
Didn't you know?
All nuns are brides of Christ.
181
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,760
But why?
182
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:51,680
I bet you could have married
anyone you wanted to.
183
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:56,681
Well, I'm... I'm not so sure about that.
184
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,263
And either way,
185
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:03,567
I doubt any other relationship
would have been quite as fulfilling.
186
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,488
I gotta go. I've got class.
187
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,200
Are you coming?
188
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:21,410
I think I'll stay for a little while,
if that's okay with you, Sister.
189
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,541
Of course.
190
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,822
Good night, Cathleen.
191
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,490
Good night, Miss Williams.
192
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,834
Hi.
193
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,215
Who is he?
194
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,475
He's just a friend of mine, that's all.
195
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,802
Another one?
196
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,145
What are you doing up so early, anyway?
197
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,977
I set my alarm
so I can go to Mass before school.
198
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,062
Okay.
199
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,779
You need a ride?
200
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,576
That's okay.
201
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,124
Hey, Cathleen?
202
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:49,423
You're not getting too into God
and all that stuff, are you?
203
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,006
What do you mean?
204
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,089
I just mean there's more to life
than God and church and praying.
205
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,998
You're serious, Cathleen?
206
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:12,672
I honestly didn't even realise
you'd been considering this.
207
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,091
I want to give my life to God.
208
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,386
You're such a passionate girl.
209
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,135
You remind me of myself at your age.
210
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,638
I think you're making
the right decision.
211
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:26,391
A nun? What are you talking about?
212
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,392
That's just fucking crazy, Cathleen.
213
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,563
I knew you wouldn't understand,
214
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,107
but you don't have to understand.
I didn't...
215
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,309
It's not that I don't understand,
216
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:35,237
it's just that it's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard!
217
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,110
You throw your life away
in some convent...
218
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,406
But I'm not throwing my life away.
219
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,903
I don't know how you can
even say that...
220
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,360
You're absolutely
throwing your life away!
221
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,195
Well, I don't get it.
222
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,325
Do you think I wanted this?
223
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,872
Do you think I wanted
to be a single mother?
224
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,790
But it's not about that.
It has nothing to do with you.
225
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:48,867
Then what is it?
226
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,328
- I'm in love, Mom!
- You're in love with who?
227
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,631
What?
228
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,131
God?
229
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:03,049
Oh, my God, that's crazy!
That is fucking crazy!
230
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,306
That doesn't even make sense,
"in love with God."
231
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,600
I don't know how to explain this,
232
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,937
but I was called,
and I'm gonna become a nun.
233
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,438
And there's really nothing
that you can say
234
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:16,110
that's gonna make me change my mind.
235
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,941
Cathleen.
236
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,320
You're a 17-year-old girl.
237
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,498
You don't know anything about religion.
238
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,878
And you sure as hell
don't know anything about love.
239
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,768
Where are you?
240
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,564
It's not right.
241
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,819
It's not fair.
242
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,527
Someone gives you their whole life...
243
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,239
Where are you?
244
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,315
Good afternoon, all of you.
245
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,773
My name is Reverend
Mother Marie St Clair.
246
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:47,737
You can call me "Reverend Mother,"
or simply "Mother," if you prefer it.
247
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,035
I am the Mother Superior, or Abbess
248
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:55,369
of this particular order
of Sisters of Beloved Rose.
249
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:59,960
I myself have been a Rose
for nearly 40 years.
250
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,134
Meaning, some 40 years ago,
251
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,462
I first came through those gates
as a postulant,
252
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,218
same as all of you.
253
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:11,385
And now, 40 years later,
254
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:15,268
I have not once set foot
outside those gates.
255
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:19,067
So, as far as all of you are concerned,
256
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,941
you might consider me
like the voice of God around here.
257
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,985
Meaning, since unfortunately
258
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,159
God can't be here
to run this convent Himself,
259
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:32,489
my voice will serve
as a stand-in for His.
260
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:36,076
And you can expect
that whenever you hear me speak,
261
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:39,038
it is on behalf of His wishes.
262
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,339
And over the next two years,
263
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:45,260
I personally will be separating
the wheat from the chaff,
264
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:49,389
determining which of you
actually belong,
265
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,841
as opposed to which of you
266
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:54,645
are simply victims
of a childish imagination.
267
00:21:55,147 --> 00:22:00,438
Because in this monastery,
God is not a fantasy to us.
268
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:04,900
Not a fantasy, not a daydream,
269
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,653
and certainly
not your invisible best friend.
270
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:12,533
To the contrary, God is work. Hard work.
271
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:16,958
The work of a very special kind of love,
272
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,831
which you'll all be trained in.
273
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:23,169
You'll be spending
the next six months as postulants.
274
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,843
After that, and for those of you
who make it,
275
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:31,173
you'll take your very first vows
and enter the novitiate.
276
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:35,136
And as a rule, we make it a point
to never discuss the novitiate
277
00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:37,846
until we've been through it ourselves.
278
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:42,105
So for now, you'll just have to wait.
279
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:46,237
Finally, I'd like to talk about silence.
280
00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:49,658
We observe two kinds of silence here,
281
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:53,783
regular silence and grand silence.
282
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,284
During regular silence,
283
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,742
if you feel you have
the need to speak, it's permissible.
284
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:01,704
But when you hear that bell
at 9:00 at night,
285
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,790
signifying the beginning
of grand silence,
286
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:09,299
that means you don't talk.
287
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,672
Any questions?
288
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,601
Put your hand down, Sister.
Postulants don't have questions.
289
00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,770
And you are free to go home.
290
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,269
Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord.
291
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:50,729
Now and forever. God bless.
292
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,608
- Praise the Lord.
- Now and forever. God bless.
293
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,659
Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord.
294
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,702
Now and forever. God bless, Sister.
295
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:09,631
Totally love Him, who gave Himself
totally for your love.
296
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:13,794
He, Christ, is the splendour
of eternal glory,
297
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:17,972
the brightness of eternal light
and the mirror without cloud.
298
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,728
I haven't had the chance
to formally introduce myself yet.
299
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:29,650
I'm Sister Mary Grace.
300
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:32,480
I will be your postulant mistress
for the next six months,
301
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:35,156
perhaps your novice mistress after that.
302
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:37,404
This is Sister Anne.
303
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,286
Sister Catherine, Kate.
304
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:43,740
Both professed nuns.
Both just took their final vows.
305
00:25:43,834 --> 00:25:45,621
We're very proud of them.
306
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:50,502
Now, it is our job to help guide you
as you try to adapt to our way of life.
307
00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:54,005
I'm sure at the beginning,
it will feel very different.
308
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:55,756
That's normal.
309
00:25:55,846 --> 00:26:00,557
I remember when I first came here,
everything seemed so strange.
310
00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:03,510
I didn't know if I'd ever
truly make it as a nun.
311
00:26:03,604 --> 00:26:05,561
Please don't worry about that.
312
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:07,309
I'm sure you all will be great.
313
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:11,026
Now, we should probably
go over the schedule.
314
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:15,530
Postulants usually have
the same schedule every single day.
315
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:18,984
The most important thing
to pay attention to is the bell.
316
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,946
Pretty much everything we do here,
all day long,
317
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:23,405
all comes down to the bell.
318
00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:31,080
The first bell you'll hear each morning
is the 5:00 am bell.
319
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,131
That bell lets everyone know
320
00:26:34,218 --> 00:26:37,427
it's time to wake up,
get ready for morning Mass.
321
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:50,022
Mass begins once Father Luca arrives.
322
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:53,318
Father Luca always keeps his back to us
the whole time,
323
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:56,111
and he always reads the liturgy
in Latin.
324
00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:57,939
Sometimes it's hard to keep up.
325
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,068
After daily chores,
326
00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,403
you'll hear the third bell
of the morning.
327
00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:06,581
That lets us know
that grand silence is over.
328
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,868
Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord.
329
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,546
Now and forever. God bless.
330
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:16,045
Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord.
331
00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:21,880
As you probably noticed,
all our meals begin with a reading.
332
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,715
Even though it's after grand silence,
333
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:27,177
we should all try
and remain as quiet as possible.
334
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:29,770
Sometimes you might see
some of the novices
335
00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:32,895
doing their own penances
in the refectory.
336
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:36,569
Probably best to just ignore it
until you're novices yourselves.
337
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:43,868
Every day after the 3:00 pm bell,
we'll have our lessons together.
338
00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:47,948
As you probably remember,
Reverend Mother made it absolutely clear
339
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,534
that we are not to speak
during grand silence,
340
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:54,211
so let's practice a little bit
of sign language.
341
00:27:54,298 --> 00:27:56,085
Slowly, that is, "What...
342
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,001
"Job...
343
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,093
"Right now?"
344
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:40,882
Sorry to interrupt, Mother,
345
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:44,053
but you just got another package
from the Archdiocese.
346
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,129
What?
347
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,404
They can't be serious.
348
00:29:03,492 --> 00:29:05,074
Thank you, Sister.
349
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,160
What are they asking of us?
350
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:24,136
My mother always said
at least one child should be sacrificed.
351
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:26,884
And even though
I come from a big family,
352
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:29,637
I'm the only girl with five brothers,
353
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:35,063
so I guess it was pretty obvious
who was going to become a nun.
354
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:38,559
Honestly, though,
I'm really happy to be here.
355
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:42,236
And I know that it's
supposed to be so hard,
356
00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:46,282
but I really can't wait
until we get to novitiate
357
00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:48,735
and we get to wear those white veils.
358
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:51,450
Who wants to go next?
359
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,499
Well, as for me, I have two cousins,
360
00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:02,923
an aunt and one older sister
who joined the Sisterhood.
361
00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:07,254
So, I guess, in a way,
it's kind of in my blood.
362
00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:11,592
And who knows, maybe one day
I'll die young and become a saint.
363
00:30:14,271 --> 00:30:15,432
Thank you, Sister Emily.
364
00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:22,060
Sister Cathleen, did you always know
that you wanted to be a nun?
365
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:27,197
No, actually,
I wasn't raised in the Church, so...
366
00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:30,277
What do you mean,
you weren't raised in the Church?
367
00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:31,486
Aren't you Catholic?
368
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:35,950
I guess I'm not Catholic
in the same way that you guys are.
369
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:37,784
Well, what are you
even doing here, then?
370
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:39,585
I mean, is this even allowed?
371
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,913
Sister Candace, please. Ladies.
372
00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:44,708
I went to Catholic school.
373
00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:46,842
That's where I learned
about the Sisters.
374
00:30:46,928 --> 00:30:51,218
I just thought it seemed like
the most beautiful idea,
375
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:55,348
to be able to spend
my entire life devoted to love.
376
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:59,430
Tell me about the new postulants.
377
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:01,436
I'm so impressed with them as a group.
378
00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:04,485
They're full of energy and enthusiasm,
379
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:07,530
really passionate about finding
their own relationships with Christ.
380
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:15,788
What is this you're reading?
381
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:20,790
This is something to do
with this Vatican II.
382
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:23,750
Vatican what?
383
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,209
From what I can make out,
384
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:30,545
our Pope has suddenly
got it into his head
385
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:33,677
to turn himself
into some sort of reformer.
386
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:35,599
Meaning what, exactly?
387
00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:38,428
Meaning he's organised
some ridiculous new council in Rome
388
00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:41,105
to speak about changes to the Church.
389
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:43,524
Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?
390
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:47,395
The Church hasn't reviewed its practices
in over 100 years.
391
00:31:47,489 --> 00:31:48,479
Perhaps change is...
392
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,064
You think the Church is
in need of change?
393
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:53,117
Are you questioning me?
394
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,866
I happen to think the Church
is perfect the way it is.
395
00:31:55,956 --> 00:31:58,323
Well, what reforms
are they talking about?
396
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,784
- Can I see?
- It's not important.
397
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,036
This will all blow over very soon.
398
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:05,543
It's nothing to concern yourself with.
399
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:08,090
Pay attention.
I'm going to show you how we walk.
400
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,634
It's called "custody of the eyes."
401
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,633
You put your hands in your sleeve
like this.
402
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:17,512
Always go slowly, gracefully,
never in a hurry.
403
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:20,515
And most important
is you keep your eyes down.
404
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:21,937
Always make sure you're looking
405
00:32:22,023 --> 00:32:24,106
straight ahead at the floor
in front of you.
406
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:25,273
Why?
407
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:26,567
Excuse me?
408
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,856
Why do we have to walk like that?
409
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:31,314
I mean, what if we can't see
where we're going?
410
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:35,367
Not that it's your place
to question anything,
411
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,911
but it's a part of our discipline.
412
00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:38,238
We keep our eyes down
413
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:40,288
so we don't allow in
any extra stimulation
414
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,162
that might distract us from our Lord.
415
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,953
Something funny, Sisters?
416
00:32:46,548 --> 00:32:47,664
You two, come here.
417
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:49,498
Come on.
418
00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:53,669
Stand face-to-face.
419
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,840
Now, both of you look at each other
in the eyes.
420
00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:19,329
- What just happened?
- I started thinking about her.
421
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:23,537
Yeah, I started thinking about her, too.
422
00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:26,461
Exactly. We're not supposed
to think about each other.
423
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:30,415
Because we're not here for each other,
we are here only for God.
424
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:32,383
Move on, Sisters.
425
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,548
I love you, God.
426
00:33:47,234 --> 00:33:48,975
Thank you for letting me be here.
427
00:33:51,238 --> 00:33:53,571
Thank you for letting me
love you like this.
428
00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:00,404
Thank you for letting me feel you
so close to me.
429
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,405
Thank you.
430
00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:09,457
I love you, God.
431
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,633
I love you so much.
432
00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:21,098
This is the first time
I've seen you in your outfit.
433
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:22,220
Yeah.
434
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,099
Do you like it?
435
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:28,897
- You look like a real nun.
- Thanks.
436
00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:32,481
I'm not a real nun yet. Not yet, but...
437
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:35,480
What is with this thing?
438
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:38,988
This is terrible. It's like prison.
439
00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,285
Yeah, it's just the way they do it.
440
00:34:41,371 --> 00:34:44,580
It's like a symbol of our enclosure.
441
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,123
What the...
442
00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:49,452
What does that mean?
443
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:52,417
It's nothing.
444
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:56,466
So, how are you?
445
00:34:57,137 --> 00:35:00,676
Are you... You like it here?
Are you happy?
446
00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:02,131
Yeah.
447
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,300
Yeah, I am.
448
00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:11,353
I don't know how to describe it,
but it feels like I belong here.
449
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:18,402
I guess that means you plan on staying,
and you plan on taking those vows.
450
00:35:18,491 --> 00:35:20,574
What do they call it, the "novanate"?
451
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:23,403
- Novitiate.
- "Novitiate." Nova-something?
452
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:29,708
Yeah, it's just a temporary vow
that we take for a year and a half.
453
00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,002
And we find out
454
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:36,549
if we're ready to marry God forever.
455
00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:42,968
I'm pretty sure
I'm going to be here my whole life.
456
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:48,595
Jesus Christ, Cathleen,
what the hell did I do wrong?
457
00:35:55,195 --> 00:35:56,185
How...
458
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:58,817
How have you been?
459
00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:02,904
Well, I'm just fine.
460
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:07,034
I picked up a few more shifts at work,
keeping myself busy.
461
00:36:07,123 --> 00:36:09,786
I don't really know
what to do with myself.
462
00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:15,539
'Cause I most... I...
I mostly just miss you so much.
463
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:20,209
How about Dad? How's Dad?
464
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:22,795
- Have you heard anything from Dad?
- Your father? No.
465
00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:27,725
Your grandma did call
and said he'd been sick or something.
466
00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:29,803
That's probably why
you haven't heard from him.
467
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,263
But do you want me to track him down?
I'm sure he'd love to come see you.
468
00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,271
That's okay, don't bother.
I'll pray for him.
469
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,982
It's fine.
470
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:42,031
But it's like a...
It's a really busy day here.
471
00:36:42,117 --> 00:36:44,200
I should get going.
472
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:48,120
What? No. We have ten more minutes.
473
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,916
- I know, but I just have a lot of work.
- What are you doing?
474
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:53,993
Maybe we can spend more time together
next time, though.
475
00:36:54,087 --> 00:36:58,582
Okay. Well, can you just wait?
Wait, wait, wait. Wait one second?
476
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:04,678
Maybe I could just
touch your hand for a second.
477
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:09,182
- Just for a second.
- Yeah...
478
00:37:09,811 --> 00:37:11,848
We're really not supposed
to touch like that, Mom, so...
479
00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:13,804
- Okay.
- I gotta go.
480
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,395
Okay. Cathleen, I love you.
481
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,602
Thank you for coming.
482
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:22,821
Oh, God.
483
00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:40,958
I guess I just didn't really know
it was going to be like this.
484
00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:42,131
Like what?
485
00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:46,383
That we'll be spending our whole
entire lives here and never leaving.
486
00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,011
We won't even be able to go
to our own parents' funerals.
487
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,639
Who cares? They'll be dead, anyway.
It's not like they'll notice.
488
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:58,646
Besides, don't you think knowing God
knows we're here for Him,
489
00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:03,150
knowing we are so much more special
to Him than anybody else...
490
00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:06,190
Don't you think that
makes it all worth it?
491
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,573
Yeah, I guess.
492
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:13,201
Well, why did you come here, then?
493
00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:15,950
Audrey Hepburn.
494
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,749
What are you talking about?
495
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,797
Audrey Hepburn.
496
00:38:22,926 --> 00:38:25,669
I wanted to be a nun
497
00:38:25,762 --> 00:38:31,554
because I saw A Nun's Story,
and she's Sister Gabrielle.
498
00:38:32,352 --> 00:38:33,593
And I just thought
499
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:38,727
she was so holy and beautiful
and perfect.
500
00:38:41,528 --> 00:38:44,487
I wanted to be like her.
Don't laugh at me.
501
00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:47,189
That's not very holy.
502
00:38:48,284 --> 00:38:49,650
I won't tell anybody.
503
00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:52,077
This was a mistake.
504
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:55,493
I was too young for it.
505
00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:03,084
I didn't ever mean to disappoint you.
506
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:11,092
I just don't know if I feel it,
you know?
507
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:14,390
Feel what?
508
00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:21,394
My relationship with Him.
509
00:39:22,569 --> 00:39:24,856
Whatever we're supposed to feel.
510
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:33,365
I can't tell if I'm
communicating with Him,
511
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:37,665
and it's really Him
or if it's just all in my head.
512
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:45,582
Reverend Mother says we can't fake
513
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:47,507
our relationship with Him.
514
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,461
Because if...
515
00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:55,095
Even if nobody else knows,
He'll know and He'll shun us for it.
516
00:39:57,353 --> 00:40:01,097
But I'm just worried,
what if I'm faking it,
517
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,808
and I don't even realise?
518
00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:32,028
No, I have them right here
in front of me. I...
519
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:41,034
It's not that
I wasn't going to respond. I...
520
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:45,368
Of course I understand the historic...
521
00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,048
And also with you.
522
00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:23,447
Good morning, Reverend Mother.
523
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,032
- Praise the Lord.
- Now and forever.
524
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,826
Did you just speak?
525
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:31,125
Did I just hear you speak?
526
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:39,263
What's your name?
527
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:42,633
I'm Sister Sissy.
528
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,138
Sister Sissy?
529
00:42:45,354 --> 00:42:47,767
Well, Sister Sissy...
530
00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:52,105
Why don't you tell me
what you've been doing lately,
531
00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:55,063
besides getting fat,
being late for Mass,
532
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:58,486
and talking during grand silence.
533
00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:06,790
I... I didn't realise
it was still grand silence.
534
00:43:08,044 --> 00:43:11,082
Well, because they told us
to count the bells before noon.
535
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,162
And I counted...
536
00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:14,714
Do you not understand
what "silence" means?
537
00:43:15,468 --> 00:43:17,676
Was it not explained to you properly?
538
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,508
During grand silence, you are silent.
539
00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,936
And silence means you don't talk.
540
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,762
You shut your mouth!
541
00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:34,527
But, Reverend Mother, you're talking.
542
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:37,320
That is because I am reprimanding you
right now, Jenny!
543
00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:40,490
- I am reprimanding you!
- It's "Sissy."
544
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:45,954
I don't care in the least.
545
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,906
I want you to get down
on your hands and knees
546
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:48,990
and crawl all the way here.
547
00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:52,499
Say as many Hail Marys as you can,
from here to there.
548
00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:54,621
Right now!
549
00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:57,837
On your hands and knees, Sister!
550
00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:03,965
Hail... Hail Mary...
551
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:05,890
Are you talking?
552
00:44:06,102 --> 00:44:08,936
Do I still hear you talking?
553
00:44:15,194 --> 00:44:17,106
Silence!
554
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,022
I didn't have any clue.
555
00:45:00,406 --> 00:45:02,489
Sorry. I didn't realise
anybody was here.
556
00:45:02,575 --> 00:45:03,565
No, no, it's okay.
557
00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:06,860
Come here.
558
00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:09,078
Come here. I'd like to talk to you.
559
00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:22,133
- How are you, Sister Cathleen?
- Good.
560
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:24,962
Thank you.
561
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:28,223
And the other girls?
562
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:30,892
Are they still upset about
Sister Sissy being sent home?
563
00:45:32,438 --> 00:45:35,055
Everybody mostly understands.
564
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:38,350
We all miss her. I miss her, but...
565
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:40,026
Of course.
566
00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:44,023
Do you often come here
to pray by yourself?
567
00:45:44,367 --> 00:45:45,949
Sometimes.
568
00:45:46,994 --> 00:45:49,281
Especially now that
our first vows are coming up.
569
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:53,624
I just wanted to spend some extra time
communicating with Him,
570
00:45:53,709 --> 00:45:58,079
and make sure He's okay
with me becoming a novice.
571
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:01,631
I'm pretty sure He's okay with it.
572
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,593
I think you're gonna be a great nun.
573
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,216
Thank you, Sister.
574
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:22,148
Just do me a favour, okay?
575
00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:26,444
Please make sure this is what you want.
576
00:46:28,661 --> 00:46:30,573
Do you understand what I'm saying?
577
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:35,165
Okay.
578
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,412
Lord, please forgive me,
I haven't done well today.
579
00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:43,749
I didn't focus enough
on my prayers this morning,
580
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:45,129
and I rushed to Mass
581
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:48,887
because I just wanted
to be with my friends.
582
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:53,676
And I'm sorry, sometimes I feel like
583
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:56,682
I pay more attention to my friends
than I do you.
584
00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:00,481
And I just pray that
you censure my heart,
585
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:04,853
and you centre my thoughts
and my mind only on you.
586
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,610
You shall speak to him
587
00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:11,193
And put the words in his mouth
588
00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:14,405
And I will be with your mouth
589
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:16,956
And with his mouth
590
00:47:17,043 --> 00:47:20,832
And will teach you both what to do
591
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:23,797
You shall speak to him
592
00:47:23,883 --> 00:47:27,126
And put the words in his mouth
593
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:30,587
And I will be with your mouth
594
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:32,923
And with his mouth
595
00:47:33,017 --> 00:47:36,977
And will teach you both what to do
596
00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:39,896
You shall speak to him
597
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:43,146
And put the words in his mouth
598
00:47:43,235 --> 00:47:46,444
And I will be with your mouth
599
00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:48,567
And with his mouth
600
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:52,241
And will teach you both what to do
601
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,821
You shall speak to him
602
00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:59,124
And put the words in his mouth
603
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,499
And I will be with your mouth
604
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,921
And with his mouth
605
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:09,047
And will teach you both what to do
606
00:48:09,136 --> 00:48:11,503
You shall speak to him
607
00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:15,595
And put the words in his mouth
608
00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:18,974
And I will be with your mouth
609
00:48:19,105 --> 00:48:20,437
And with his mouth
610
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:21,639
Keep going.
611
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:25,021
And will teach you both what to do
612
00:48:25,653 --> 00:48:26,734
Keep singing.
613
00:48:26,821 --> 00:48:28,357
You shall speak to him
614
00:48:28,447 --> 00:48:31,861
And put the words in his mouth
615
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:33,943
I owe you no explanation whatsoever.
616
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:36,073
I just want you
to collect your belongings
617
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:38,906
and get yourselves back home.
618
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:43,585
All right, out you go.
619
00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:45,207
Enough's enough.
620
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:48,582
Come along.
621
00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:02,562
- What just happened?
- Nothing.
622
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,264
I'm sending those two girls home.
623
00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:07,601
You're sending Mariana and Teresa home?
624
00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:11,605
I was told that their relationship
625
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,406
was veering toward
something inappropriate.
626
00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:15,575
But they're just young girls, right?
627
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:17,827
Perhaps they're just friends.
628
00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:20,246
Perhaps they're just seeking comfort
in each other.
629
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:23,283
Seeking comfort in each other?
630
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,960
Is that what we do around here now?
631
00:49:27,756 --> 00:49:29,338
Are you questioning me again?
632
00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,003
Are you questioning my judgement?
633
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:38,219
So, why don't you tell me, Mary Grace.
634
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:41,222
How are those two girls
expected to go their entire lives
635
00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:43,766
without any form of physical affection,
636
00:49:43,856 --> 00:49:46,439
when they can't even make it
a few months?
637
00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:48,562
I don't know.
638
00:49:49,612 --> 00:49:55,028
You know, there have been
moments, recently,
639
00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,445
when it's begun to feel to me
640
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:04,328
as if you don't want to
be here with us any more.
641
00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:10,210
As if everything requires
some sort of inquisition by you.
642
00:50:14,136 --> 00:50:16,048
What is your trouble exactly?
643
00:50:16,138 --> 00:50:17,504
Part of my trouble is you.
644
00:50:18,224 --> 00:50:19,635
Me?
645
00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,557
I don't understand your motivations.
646
00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:23,636
God is my motivation.
647
00:50:23,729 --> 00:50:26,642
God is my reason and motivation
for everything I do.
648
00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:28,515
How can you be absolutely certain
of what He wants?
649
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:29,645
I am quite certain.
650
00:50:29,777 --> 00:50:32,815
I think it's wrong of you to keep us
in the dark about Vatican II.
651
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:34,271
Whatever's in those documents,
652
00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:35,822
whatever it is
that you're hiding from us,
653
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,865
that's going to affect all of us...
654
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:40,035
It is not going to affect any of us.
655
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,158
- This will affect none of us.
- Why can't you just tell me?
656
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:47,288
Because I don't want to.
I don't have to, and I don't want to.
657
00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:49,119
- Fine, Mother!
- Yes, fine!
658
00:50:49,213 --> 00:50:51,000
Fine indeed, Mary!
659
00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,498
I just wanted to...
660
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:31,662
I just wanted to tell you
I've decided to leave the convent.
661
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:33,413
What?
662
00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:39,219
I'm very sorry that I won't be there
to see you take your first vows.
663
00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,342
What do you mean? Where are you going?
664
00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:43,131
It's because
of Reverend Mother, isn't it?
665
00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:45,258
She wants to take you away from us.
666
00:51:45,436 --> 00:51:48,099
No, no, no, that's not it.
667
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,597
This is my decision.
668
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:54,101
I've been a Rose
since I was 16 years old.
669
00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,730
My time here has been wonderful,
670
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,232
but I am not meant to be here any more.
671
00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:04,911
Will you still be a member
of the Church after you leave?
672
00:52:07,833 --> 00:52:09,244
Yes.
673
00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:12,248
This is my family.
674
00:52:13,672 --> 00:52:16,415
You, each and every one of you
675
00:52:16,508 --> 00:52:19,751
that I've spent day in and day out with.
676
00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:24,681
I love each and every one of you
with everything in my heart.
677
00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:33,811
"We become what we love
and who we love shapes what we become.
678
00:52:33,901 --> 00:52:37,269
"Imitation is not
a literal mimicking of Christ,
679
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,901
"rather it means becoming
the image of the beloved.
680
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:43,692
"An image disclosed
through transformation."
681
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:06,301
Be still...
682
00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:08,342
Please clear the way
683
00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:11,269
for my untouched virginal body to pass.
684
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:13,141
There's a new era coming,
685
00:53:13,816 --> 00:53:15,808
a new wind blowing in here.
686
00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:18,234
There will come a time, very soon,
687
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,859
when all your cathedrals
will finally crumble.
688
00:53:21,990 --> 00:53:26,109
All these trappings and clothing
falling away to the ground.
689
00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,194
And it'll be us, all of us,
690
00:53:29,123 --> 00:53:31,866
standing here naked before God.
691
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:08,401
Girls, we only have a few more minutes.
692
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:12,409
- We have a long way to go.
- Can you do it yourself?
693
00:54:13,041 --> 00:54:14,452
Our parents are out there.
694
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,417
Does anyone have a knitting needle?
695
00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,286
Sister Anne, do you have
any knitting needles?
696
00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:20,338
I don't even have them.
697
00:54:20,424 --> 00:54:22,381
- Can someone help her with her veil?
- I'll get it.
698
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:24,421
I need a band.
699
00:56:01,942 --> 00:56:03,433
With the help of God,
700
00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:06,186
I have come to know in this community...
701
00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:10,107
...both the difficulty and the joy
of a life completely devoted to Him.
702
00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:14,195
My desire is to be allowed
to make perpetual profession.
703
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:18,706
I seek to become a temporary bride
of Christ for a year and a half
704
00:56:18,792 --> 00:56:21,785
and to persevere
in all of my undying love.
705
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:34,282
May we be worthy of Christ's love.
706
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:49,209
We're married! We're married!
We're married!
707
00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:51,882
- I love you, God!
- I love you, Jesus!
708
00:57:58,016 --> 00:57:59,803
I'm married to Jesus.
709
00:58:01,645 --> 00:58:03,136
Christ. Christ.
710
00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:07,520
The novitiate,
as I'm sure you've all heard,
711
00:58:09,695 --> 00:58:12,529
is the most gruelling
712
00:58:12,614 --> 00:58:14,446
and demanding period...
713
00:58:14,741 --> 00:58:16,573
Why are they breaking
our mirrors like that?
714
00:58:16,702 --> 00:58:17,988
...in any nun's life.
715
00:58:21,206 --> 00:58:25,621
It is then when the strength
of your so-called vocations
716
00:58:25,711 --> 00:58:29,125
will be tested to their limits.
717
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:33,674
It's also about learning to be perfect.
718
00:58:35,679 --> 00:58:39,593
Because, and I think you'd all agree,
719
00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:42,801
our Savior deserves no less
720
00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:46,012
from each one of you
than a perfect wife.
721
00:58:46,982 --> 00:58:52,228
So, once a week,
we will be meeting in this room
722
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,529
for an exercise called
"Chapter of Faults."
723
00:58:56,408 --> 00:58:58,616
And one thing I can assure you,
724
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:03,989
we do not leave
until the chapter is finished.
725
00:59:04,416 --> 00:59:08,660
So... You, Sister.
726
00:59:10,255 --> 00:59:12,292
Me? Evelyn.
727
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:14,798
I'm Sister Evelyn.
728
00:59:15,594 --> 00:59:17,711
Come to the centre of the room, please.
729
00:59:31,693 --> 00:59:33,525
Now...
730
00:59:33,862 --> 00:59:36,195
I want you to think for a moment,
731
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:42,034
and then I want you to carefully list
732
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:45,363
every single fault
733
00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:48,367
you're aware of in yourself.
734
00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:54,088
I'm sorry, what?
735
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:56,419
What don't you understand?
736
00:59:57,761 --> 00:59:59,172
Are you perfect?
737
01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:02,593
No.
738
01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:04,719
I don't know...
739
01:00:05,477 --> 01:00:06,684
What do you mean?
740
01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:10,104
Are you a perfect person,
a perfect human being?
741
01:00:10,857 --> 01:00:12,348
A perfect nun?
742
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:15,269
No. Of course not.
743
01:00:15,487 --> 01:00:16,978
Wouldn't you like to be perfect?
744
01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:23,569
Don't you think you should at least
try to be perfect?
745
01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:26,572
Yes, if I could.
746
01:00:29,251 --> 01:00:33,541
So what do you think
stands in the way most
747
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:36,418
between you and perfection?
748
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:39,170
My faults.
749
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:41,047
Correct.
750
01:00:41,346 --> 01:00:45,966
Because there's really no way
for any of us to achieve perfection
751
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,802
without first getting rid of our faults.
752
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:50,056
I guess so.
753
01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:51,975
You guess what, Sister?
754
01:00:53,525 --> 01:00:57,144
Yes, Mother, I agree.
755
01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:59,900
All right. Let's hear it.
756
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:01,526
Let's hear your faults.
757
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,735
Well, I'm untidy.
758
01:01:05,912 --> 01:01:07,995
I mean, I am... I'm messy.
759
01:01:08,790 --> 01:01:11,874
I feel like a slob, and...
760
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,662
I space out sometimes.
761
01:01:17,382 --> 01:01:18,372
I mean, in school, they...
762
01:01:18,466 --> 01:01:19,673
- All right.
- I can't. I really can't...
763
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,591
Hold it. Hold. Hold. Hold.
764
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:22,919
Just a moment.
765
01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:28,805
Leaving clothes on the floor
and lack of concentration,
766
01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:30,642
or "spacing out," as you call it,
767
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:37,476
while I agree these are all weaknesses
that you need to know about yourself,
768
01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,402
they're also quite superficial
769
01:01:40,488 --> 01:01:43,276
and won't get us very far
in this process.
770
01:01:44,826 --> 01:01:45,862
So...
771
01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:49,862
I want you to start again.
772
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:52,323
And this time,
773
01:01:52,417 --> 01:01:56,707
I want you to fully examine
your conscience
774
01:01:56,796 --> 01:02:01,632
and come up with a list of things
you do on a daily basis
775
01:02:01,718 --> 01:02:04,085
to fail our Lord Christ.
776
01:02:07,849 --> 01:02:09,306
Ways that I fail...
777
01:02:12,020 --> 01:02:14,433
Ways that I fail Christ.
778
01:02:16,441 --> 01:02:19,730
Well, there's a part of me
779
01:02:21,571 --> 01:02:24,939
that thinks that I'm not good enough
to be here,
780
01:02:25,867 --> 01:02:28,405
that I don't deserve to be here.
781
01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:32,371
I want to be pure,
and I want to be good.
782
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,329
But...
783
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:41,755
I don't know if that's
who I really am on the inside.
784
01:02:42,425 --> 01:02:44,166
Because...
785
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,929
Sometimes my thoughts inside
786
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:51,007
don't match the way
I act on the outside.
787
01:02:56,106 --> 01:03:01,568
And I just feel bad and ugly inside.
788
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:09,859
And I've let people down before.
789
01:03:09,953 --> 01:03:14,118
I've let my parents down,
my ma and my father,
790
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:16,540
but I don't want
to let Him down, Mother.
791
01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:19,835
I don't want to let Jesus down.
792
01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:27,092
And I just hope that
He knows that I can do better...
793
01:03:30,015 --> 01:03:31,722
If He'll let me.
794
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,388
All right, Sister. Very brave of you.
795
01:03:36,855 --> 01:03:38,141
And now for your penance,
796
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:40,974
I'd like to assign you
ten rosaries next week.
797
01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:44,731
And I'd also like you
to starve yourself all day on Friday.
798
01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,153
Thank you, Mother.
799
01:03:47,866 --> 01:03:49,653
Where are you going?
800
01:03:56,541 --> 01:03:58,032
I thought that I was done.
801
01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,502
Done? No one said you were done.
802
01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:03,045
Come back here.
803
01:04:14,726 --> 01:04:18,219
Now that Sister has been brave enough
to share some of her faults with us,
804
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:20,600
I'd like to open it up to the room
805
01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:24,893
to help point out
any additional character flaws
806
01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:27,899
that they are aware of in their Sister.
807
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:36,529
Well, somebody say something.
808
01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:38,410
We've already established
she's not perfect.
809
01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:42,247
- I saw her smile.
- What?
810
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:47,423
Just now, when you said
she did a good job,
811
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:50,050
I saw her smile.
812
01:04:50,929 --> 01:04:53,467
Like she was pleased with herself.
813
01:04:54,349 --> 01:04:56,215
Like it was all a joke to her.
814
01:04:57,769 --> 01:04:58,930
Is that true?
815
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:01,687
No!
816
01:05:01,773 --> 01:05:02,980
And how would she know
817
01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:04,773
if she hadn't broken
the custody of eyes?
818
01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:06,145
I didn't. You're vain!
819
01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:09,274
You did! You're a liar!
How else would she know?
820
01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:11,651
All right. That's enough.
821
01:05:14,786 --> 01:05:16,243
Sister, your turn is finished.
822
01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:18,913
However, if that is true,
823
01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:23,200
and you had the nerve
to mock this process, it's pathetic.
824
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,085
What sort of nun are you going to be
825
01:05:25,171 --> 01:05:28,585
if you can't even stand
a single moment of self-reflection
826
01:05:28,675 --> 01:05:30,086
without gloating?
827
01:05:32,178 --> 01:05:33,919
So in addition to your other penance,
828
01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:37,506
I would like you to use
the discipline on yourself.
829
01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:41,594
What?
830
01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:59,077
Was it that bad?
831
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:00,700
What do you think?
832
01:06:07,005 --> 01:06:09,088
You don't have to stay here, you know.
833
01:06:09,174 --> 01:06:10,790
None of us do.
834
01:06:10,884 --> 01:06:12,420
You can leave whenever you want to.
835
01:06:15,013 --> 01:06:16,504
And do what?
836
01:06:17,599 --> 01:06:21,183
You mean go home
and tell everyone and my parents
837
01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:22,976
that I failed at being a nun?
838
01:06:24,063 --> 01:06:26,726
- No, I can't do that.
- Sister Mary Grace did it.
839
01:06:27,525 --> 01:06:29,016
It's not the same.
840
01:06:30,278 --> 01:06:31,940
Sister, I'm...
841
01:06:34,491 --> 01:06:37,074
I don't think you're vain at all.
842
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,485
I didn't know.
843
01:06:40,288 --> 01:06:41,745
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
844
01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:45,116
- I'm sorry, too.
- We're all vain.
845
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:47,827
She's just teaching us
how to lose our vanity.
846
01:06:50,173 --> 01:06:52,506
Sisters, I need your attention, please.
847
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:56,506
As of today, we have a new member.
848
01:06:56,596 --> 01:06:59,339
Sister Gabrielle Emanuel
will be joining our community.
849
01:06:59,724 --> 01:07:01,761
Sister Emanuel was previously a member
850
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:05,310
of the Order of the Sisters of Christ
in New Hampshire.
851
01:07:05,396 --> 01:07:07,638
But as she felt the culture of the Roses
852
01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:10,065
was more suited to her religious needs,
853
01:07:10,151 --> 01:07:12,188
she has decided to transfer here.
854
01:07:12,362 --> 01:07:14,820
She'll be joining us
as a first-year novice.
855
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:17,072
So let's make her feel welcome.
856
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:23,616
I guess all my friends
are just back home,
857
01:07:23,706 --> 01:07:25,698
and they're doing a bunch
of teenage stuff.
858
01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:29,126
They're going to the drive-in movies.
859
01:07:29,212 --> 01:07:32,421
And they're going roller-skating
860
01:07:32,507 --> 01:07:36,217
and watching the fireworks
on the Fourth of July,
861
01:07:36,302 --> 01:07:38,134
or they're going...
862
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:39,803
They're going on dates with boys.
863
01:07:41,182 --> 01:07:44,391
- With boys.
- Yeah. I don't know, I...
864
01:07:46,604 --> 01:07:48,095
Even...
865
01:07:50,483 --> 01:07:52,224
Even what?
866
01:07:53,152 --> 01:07:54,393
You know.
867
01:07:56,406 --> 01:07:57,613
What?
868
01:07:58,866 --> 01:07:59,856
Sex.
869
01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:06,284
Come on. You can't say that
you've never thought about it before.
870
01:08:06,374 --> 01:08:07,660
Everybody does.
871
01:08:08,209 --> 01:08:11,202
Even nuns do,
they just don't ever talk about it.
872
01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,168
How do you know that?
873
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:18,466
Because it's normal.
874
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:21,716
It's more normal than you think.
875
01:08:25,226 --> 01:08:28,685
I don't really think about it.
876
01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:32,230
So, you never even kissed a boy
before you came here,
877
01:08:32,317 --> 01:08:33,728
nothing like that?
878
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:42,195
Have you?
879
01:08:43,703 --> 01:08:46,070
Yeah. Only once, though.
880
01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,781
Wait, don't tell all the other Sisters,
though, please.
881
01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:51,329
- I won't.
- Okay.
882
01:08:53,671 --> 01:08:58,541
"Let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth,
883
01:08:58,635 --> 01:09:02,174
"for your love is better than wine.
884
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:06,636
"Your anointing oils are fragrant.
885
01:09:07,393 --> 01:09:10,932
"Your name is oil poured out on me.
886
01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:15,983
"Therefore, virgins love you."
887
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,702
Sister Cathleen.
888
01:09:43,888 --> 01:09:47,256
I wish I could be more loved back.
889
01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:51,552
I wish I knew for sure...
890
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:55,855
I wish we all knew for sure
891
01:09:57,902 --> 01:10:01,066
that He really loves us
as much as we love Him.
892
01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:06,074
I just wish I could feel it more.
893
01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:12,281
Don't wish for things
you shouldn't, Sister.
894
01:13:01,085 --> 01:13:03,543
For it is in giving that we receive,
895
01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:06,713
and in pardoning, that
we are pardoned, and in dying...
896
01:13:06,799 --> 01:13:09,758
Excuse me, Mother.
The Archbishop is here to see you.
897
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:11,843
The Archbishop.
898
01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:30,479
Good afternoon, Mother.
899
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:33,949
Go ahead, sit.
900
01:13:34,952 --> 01:13:36,864
Let me get you some tea.
901
01:13:37,455 --> 01:13:39,947
- No, thank you.
- A little drop won't hurt you.
902
01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:41,873
So, how are you, Marie?
903
01:13:42,501 --> 01:13:44,493
You seem a little bit on edge.
904
01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:48,631
Perhaps it's because I haven't been
in the company of a man for a while.
905
01:13:48,716 --> 01:13:50,082
It's unusual for me.
906
01:13:52,803 --> 01:13:55,341
- Do you know why I'm here?
- No, I don't.
907
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:59,099
- You have no idea why I'm here?
- No, I honestly do not.
908
01:14:00,811 --> 01:14:05,852
Well, I've been hearing a lot recently
about how this Order, in particular,
909
01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:07,729
is having some trouble embracing
910
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:10,652
some of the changes that have been
put forth by Vatican II.
911
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:12,900
Now, you tell me, is that accurate?
912
01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:14,447
Accurate to a point.
913
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:17,572
Some of the changes we've adopted,
others we haven't.
914
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:19,035
Great.
915
01:14:20,081 --> 01:14:21,242
You care to elaborate?
916
01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:26,251
The memos sent over from your office
used the word "suggestion"
917
01:14:26,337 --> 01:14:29,876
in regards to all these changes
we're supposed...
918
01:14:31,592 --> 01:14:33,584
Well, that's amusing.
919
01:14:33,678 --> 01:14:36,295
I think you're the only one
who missed the subtext there.
920
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:39,889
You see, for most of us,
921
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:44,971
the word "suggestion" is understood
as synonymous with "obligation."
922
01:14:45,189 --> 01:14:49,024
Perhaps I'm not all that
attuned to subtext.
923
01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:51,810
- My apologies.
- Of course.
924
01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:54,567
- Are we done here?
- No, no, no. Sorry, we're not done.
925
01:14:55,574 --> 01:14:59,033
Why don't you tell me
926
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:01,453
what exactly you have
the most difficulty with?
927
01:15:01,539 --> 01:15:03,451
Just lay it all out for me.
928
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:04,748
I have no difficulty.
929
01:15:05,042 --> 01:15:07,284
I just happen to disagree with it.
All of it.
930
01:15:07,378 --> 01:15:09,415
Not to mention it's a slap in the face
931
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,667
that the Sisters weren't given
any voice in the matter.
932
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:14,044
You honestly expected them
to have their own voice, the Sisters?
933
01:15:14,135 --> 01:15:15,797
We are a part of this church, too.
934
01:15:15,886 --> 01:15:18,048
Marie, Marie, that's not how it works.
935
01:15:18,139 --> 01:15:20,973
I don't think you really understand
what this will do to us.
936
01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:25,344
If we were to truly embrace
all these changes,
937
01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:29,182
it will ruin the very institution
of Catholic nuns as...
938
01:15:35,197 --> 01:15:40,534
Are you still encouraging
all of your novitiates and postulants
939
01:15:40,619 --> 01:15:44,784
to perform extreme acts
of penance on themselves?
940
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:50,127
All that old medieval stuff?
Because that's gotta stop.
941
01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:51,999
I never asked my girls
to do anything for God
942
01:15:52,089 --> 01:15:53,455
that I haven't done myself.
943
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:54,835
Like I said, gotta stop.
944
01:15:56,552 --> 01:15:58,919
As for the rest
of Rome's recommendations,
945
01:15:59,013 --> 01:16:01,596
I would just hope
that you can keep an open mind
946
01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:06,677
and try to see things
as part of the larger context.
947
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,515
A theme of change, adaptation,
of spiritual evolution.
948
01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:15,936
Do me a favour,
just open your mind a little bit.
949
01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:20,862
Otherwise, I may have to "suggest"
950
01:16:22,078 --> 01:16:24,320
that we find a replacement for you.
951
01:16:31,003 --> 01:16:36,215
I never ever, ever thought
that I would say this,
952
01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:40,169
but there are times where I question
953
01:16:41,722 --> 01:16:43,964
whether or not God is even real.
954
01:16:44,058 --> 01:16:46,846
And I know, I know that's so horrible,
955
01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:49,019
but what scares me to think is,
956
01:16:49,396 --> 01:16:53,015
what if He actually doesn't exist?
957
01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:56,026
What if He's just something
that we all made up one day
958
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:57,648
and everybody started believing it?
959
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:03,864
Everything that we do for Him
and what we put ourselves through,
960
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:07,117
to only live in His image, but...
961
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:12,413
But are we spreading any sort of love
in here or in the world,
962
01:17:12,545 --> 01:17:14,002
or any kindness, or...
963
01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:17,252
Or are we even getting to know God more?
964
01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:20,672
And if it ever turned out
965
01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:24,884
that God didn't really exist...
966
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:27,723
Then who would we all be doing this for?
967
01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:32,762
Sister, you come in here week after week
968
01:17:32,857 --> 01:17:36,476
with the same ridiculous confession
969
01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:39,437
about your wavering spirituality.
970
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,444
Frankly, it's grown tiresome.
971
01:17:44,910 --> 01:17:48,950
Your utter spiritual wretchedness.
972
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:55,081
So, for your penance,
I'm assigning you no penance.
973
01:17:57,006 --> 01:17:58,338
Don't bother.
974
01:18:03,345 --> 01:18:04,756
Excuse!
975
01:18:27,077 --> 01:18:31,321
I just don't understand who she is
or what she's doing here.
976
01:18:31,415 --> 01:18:34,908
Apparently, the SOCs
weren't strict enough for her.
977
01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:38,420
I guess she came here
for all the extra self-punishment.
978
01:18:39,173 --> 01:18:40,505
Really?
979
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:44,551
She really thinks she's that holy?
980
01:19:17,795 --> 01:19:19,331
You can come in now.
981
01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:26,835
What did you want to see me for?
982
01:19:29,640 --> 01:19:32,633
I was wondering
if I could borrow the discipline?
983
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,142
Just for tonight, please?
984
01:19:35,938 --> 01:19:36,928
Discipline?
985
01:19:37,606 --> 01:19:39,222
What did you do?
986
01:19:40,776 --> 01:19:43,644
If it's okay with you,
I would rather not say.
987
01:19:43,737 --> 01:19:46,275
- It's not okay.
- No.
988
01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:48,152
I can't just give it to you
without knowing
989
01:19:48,242 --> 01:19:50,450
what you need it for first.
You know that.
990
01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:53,157
Yeah, of course. I...
991
01:19:57,626 --> 01:20:00,164
I broke grand silence twice this week.
992
01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:01,836
And...
993
01:20:03,424 --> 01:20:05,256
I was uncharitable to one of my Sisters
994
01:20:05,342 --> 01:20:07,004
when I didn't mean to be.
995
01:20:07,761 --> 01:20:09,252
That's all.
996
01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:12,763
That's what you want
to punish yourself for?
997
01:20:14,977 --> 01:20:16,388
Honestly?
998
01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:21,643
Yes.
999
01:20:38,751 --> 01:20:40,492
Thank you, Mother.
1000
01:22:12,511 --> 01:22:16,130
Excuse me, Sister.
Your mother's here to see you.
1001
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:20,509
What do you mean, why?
It's not visiting day.
1002
01:22:32,239 --> 01:22:35,823
It's okay. Reverend Mother said
you can use the other door today.
1003
01:22:43,917 --> 01:22:45,033
Hi, my love.
1004
01:22:47,588 --> 01:22:50,422
Is there someplace we could talk?
I have something I have to tell you.
1005
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:52,005
She already told me.
1006
01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:58,425
Yeah. So, I guess no one...
1007
01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:01,174
No one knew how sick he was,
1008
01:23:01,268 --> 01:23:03,305
and I know he wasn't the best father,
but I just...
1009
01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:05,811
I didn't want you to be alone.
1010
01:23:12,112 --> 01:23:13,728
Okay, I don't...
1011
01:23:13,822 --> 01:23:15,654
I came here to tell you your dad died,
1012
01:23:15,741 --> 01:23:17,152
and now you hear it from somebody else?
1013
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:19,074
I don't understand what's going on.
1014
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:21,532
I'm sorry you're upset, Mom.
1015
01:23:22,372 --> 01:23:23,988
What the hell is going on here?
1016
01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:26,283
And why does it look like
you've lost a bunch of weight?
1017
01:23:26,376 --> 01:23:28,288
I really haven't lost
very much weight. I'm fine.
1018
01:23:28,378 --> 01:23:30,745
You have lost some weight, Cathleen.
So, how much weight have you lost?
1019
01:23:32,925 --> 01:23:34,507
What's going on,
they don't feed you in here?
1020
01:23:34,593 --> 01:23:35,834
- You're not allowed to eat?
- No, I'm fine, okay?
1021
01:23:35,928 --> 01:23:36,964
- Let me look at you!
- I'm fine, okay?
1022
01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:38,386
- Let me look at you, Cathleen.
- I'm sorry. I have to go.
1023
01:23:38,472 --> 01:23:39,553
Sorry to hear about Dad.
1024
01:23:39,640 --> 01:23:41,131
I'll pray that God meets him
at his grace, okay?
1025
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,215
- I really need to go.
- What do you mean, you have to go?
1026
01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:43,299
- Don't go yet.
- I need to leave, I'm sorry, Mom.
1027
01:23:43,393 --> 01:23:44,725
I've been driving for three hours.
Stop! Stop, stop.
1028
01:23:44,811 --> 01:23:46,928
Cathleen? Cathleen!
1029
01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:52,142
I'd like to thank you
for stopping in, Mrs Harris.
1030
01:23:52,236 --> 01:23:53,602
I don't think we've had the pleasure.
1031
01:23:53,695 --> 01:23:56,108
Just wanna know what's going on
with my daughter, that's all.
1032
01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:58,023
Going on with your daughter?
1033
01:23:58,116 --> 01:23:59,778
- In what way?
- Look, Miss...
1034
01:23:59,868 --> 01:24:01,029
Mother.
1035
01:24:01,119 --> 01:24:04,533
- Excuse me?
- It's "Mother." Or "Reverend Mother."
1036
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:07,536
I'm not a "Miss," or a "Missus" either,
for that matter.
1037
01:24:07,626 --> 01:24:09,913
Lady, I am not calling you Mother.
1038
01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:14,255
Mrs Harris, I understand
you've had a loss in the family.
1039
01:24:14,341 --> 01:24:16,048
- And I would like to express...
- Save it.
1040
01:24:16,343 --> 01:24:18,585
You know, I haven't seen
my daughter in over six months.
1041
01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:21,300
And I came here today
to tell her about her dad,
1042
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:22,676
and I barely recognise her.
1043
01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:26,926
She looks completely different,
like she's lost 20 pounds.
1044
01:24:27,020 --> 01:24:29,478
I wanna know
what you're doing to her in here.
1045
01:24:29,815 --> 01:24:31,272
What I'm doing?
1046
01:24:31,942 --> 01:24:34,810
You're talking about her body,
which is a superficial topic.
1047
01:24:34,903 --> 01:24:36,064
Are you blind?
1048
01:24:38,115 --> 01:24:39,572
Have you seen her lately?
1049
01:24:39,658 --> 01:24:41,445
She looks like she's dying.
1050
01:24:41,743 --> 01:24:43,484
Just, please, calm down.
1051
01:24:43,579 --> 01:24:46,196
I said, I wanna know
what's going on in here!
1052
01:24:47,916 --> 01:24:51,250
Honestly, Mrs Harris,
with all due respect,
1053
01:24:52,754 --> 01:24:55,997
in a sense, you did bring
your daughter here to die.
1054
01:24:56,842 --> 01:24:59,004
You brought her here
to die to the outside world
1055
01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:01,256
and be born again in Christ's love.
1056
01:25:01,805 --> 01:25:04,468
It's a process.
She's simply going through it.
1057
01:25:04,558 --> 01:25:05,674
That's all.
1058
01:25:07,603 --> 01:25:08,639
For what it's worth,
1059
01:25:08,729 --> 01:25:10,595
I do understand how difficult it can be
1060
01:25:10,689 --> 01:25:12,476
for a parent to give their child to God.
1061
01:25:12,691 --> 01:25:15,104
And that's because
you have children of your own?
1062
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:16,441
No, I don't,
1063
01:25:17,112 --> 01:25:18,728
but neither do you any more.
1064
01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:27,991
Okay. Well...
1065
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:30,785
Just so you know,
1066
01:25:31,209 --> 01:25:32,575
and with all due respect to you,
1067
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:34,786
Miss whatever the fuck
you want to be called,
1068
01:25:36,548 --> 01:25:38,039
I didn't bring my daughter here.
1069
01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:41,171
I didn't bring her here at all.
1070
01:25:41,261 --> 01:25:44,004
But if I ever come here
and see her like this again,
1071
01:25:44,097 --> 01:25:46,510
I will take her out of here.
1072
01:26:34,356 --> 01:26:36,018
Are you all right, Sister Cathleen?
1073
01:27:30,912 --> 01:27:32,494
Reverend Mother...
1074
01:27:34,291 --> 01:27:35,657
She asked me to check on you.
1075
01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:39,289
And we don't have to sign.
It's not grand silence yet.
1076
01:27:41,548 --> 01:27:43,005
They asked me to bring soup for you.
1077
01:27:58,523 --> 01:27:59,730
Thank you.
1078
01:28:12,954 --> 01:28:15,196
So you were at the SOCs, right?
1079
01:28:18,293 --> 01:28:19,625
What happened, you didn't like it there?
1080
01:28:25,175 --> 01:28:27,132
It's not that I didn't like it,
it's just...
1081
01:28:28,553 --> 01:28:29,760
I don't know, I just thought
1082
01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:32,718
being a Rose would be better for me.
1083
01:28:33,558 --> 01:28:34,674
I thought it would be easier.
1084
01:28:36,019 --> 01:28:37,601
Isn't it so much stricter here?
1085
01:28:39,773 --> 01:28:42,891
Sometimes when things are stricter,
it makes them easier.
1086
01:28:44,110 --> 01:28:45,146
I wouldn't know.
1087
01:28:46,905 --> 01:28:48,646
All I ever wanted was to be a Rose.
1088
01:28:49,366 --> 01:28:50,982
Seems to come so naturally to you.
1089
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,276
Sometimes, I guess.
1090
01:28:53,370 --> 01:28:54,736
I just know that
1091
01:28:57,374 --> 01:29:00,412
I want God's love
1092
01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:05,376
and if being a good nun is what it takes
to deserve it, then...
1093
01:29:05,841 --> 01:29:07,423
I admire your devotion.
1094
01:29:08,635 --> 01:29:11,469
The passion you feel,
it seems real with you.
1095
01:29:12,264 --> 01:29:14,005
Isn't it with you, too?
1096
01:29:26,027 --> 01:29:27,188
Sister Emanuel?
1097
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:04,055
Maybe it's a strange question, but...
1098
01:30:06,359 --> 01:30:07,770
Why'd you do it?
1099
01:30:09,487 --> 01:30:14,073
I mean, why did you starve yourself,
make yourself sick?
1100
01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:19,070
Did you do it for Christ?
1101
01:30:26,296 --> 01:30:29,414
I'm sorry, it's...
It's really not my place to ask.
1102
01:30:31,092 --> 01:30:32,333
You can turn around.
1103
01:30:43,563 --> 01:30:46,306
I thought I was doing it for Christ.
1104
01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:48,979
Or,
1105
01:30:50,987 --> 01:30:53,149
just to be a better nun,
1106
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,859
but maybe I also thought that
1107
01:31:01,414 --> 01:31:03,952
if I made myself starve on the outside,
1108
01:31:04,709 --> 01:31:06,245
I wouldn't feel myself
1109
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:10,204
starving as much on the inside.
1110
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:13,132
What are you starving for?
1111
01:31:16,554 --> 01:31:17,795
I don't know.
1112
01:31:37,033 --> 01:31:38,490
"Let not your heart be troubled.
1113
01:31:40,954 --> 01:31:43,571
"You believe in God. Believe also in me.
1114
01:31:44,582 --> 01:31:46,699
"In my Father's house,
there are many rooms.
1115
01:31:47,544 --> 01:31:48,625
"Were it not so,
1116
01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:50,578
- "I should have told you..."
- Will you please stop?
1117
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:53,376
I'm sorry.
1118
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:55,966
I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?
1119
01:32:01,433 --> 01:32:02,423
I don't understand.
1120
01:32:10,984 --> 01:32:13,818
You can just keep reading.
Please go back to reading, please.
1121
01:32:16,489 --> 01:32:17,855
Just read. I'm sorry.
1122
01:33:16,007 --> 01:33:18,590
No, that was a mistake. I'm sorry.
1123
01:33:18,760 --> 01:33:19,876
- It's my fault.
- That was my fault.
1124
01:33:19,969 --> 01:33:20,959
I'm sorry. That was a mistake.
1125
01:33:21,054 --> 01:33:23,387
- I'm sorry, it was my fault.
- No, it's me. I have to go.
1126
01:33:25,850 --> 01:33:27,136
So stupid of...
1127
01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:52,950
Lord, make me an instrument
of thy peace.
1128
01:33:53,545 --> 01:33:55,878
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
1129
01:33:56,840 --> 01:33:58,877
where there is injury, pardon,
1130
01:33:59,384 --> 01:34:01,000
where there is doubt, faith,
1131
01:34:02,262 --> 01:34:03,969
where there is despair, hope,
1132
01:34:04,514 --> 01:34:06,096
where there is sadness, joy,
1133
01:34:06,558 --> 01:34:08,094
where there is darkness, light.
1134
01:34:08,601 --> 01:34:10,137
Oh, Divine Master,
1135
01:34:10,436 --> 01:34:13,679
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
1136
01:34:14,149 --> 01:34:18,143
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
1137
01:34:20,530 --> 01:34:22,772
Love, love, love.
1138
01:34:23,449 --> 01:34:24,656
Love.
1139
01:34:58,943 --> 01:35:00,184
Sisters.
1140
01:35:00,778 --> 01:35:02,144
I have an announcement.
1141
01:35:03,072 --> 01:35:05,985
I apologise that this has taken so long,
1142
01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:09,864
but there's something very important
1143
01:35:09,954 --> 01:35:12,788
that I've been meaning to inform you of.
1144
01:35:13,458 --> 01:35:15,541
I'm sure, by now,
1145
01:35:15,627 --> 01:35:19,416
at least a few of you have heard
of something called Vatican II.
1146
01:35:20,465 --> 01:35:22,001
In a nutshell,
1147
01:35:22,842 --> 01:35:25,550
there's been a series of meetings
in Rome
1148
01:35:26,846 --> 01:35:28,587
over the past three years.
1149
01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:33,764
These meetings have been
principally concerned with revisions
1150
01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:35,515
that the Pope and others
1151
01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:39,769
felt necessary to ensure the survival
1152
01:35:41,194 --> 01:35:42,401
of our Church.
1153
01:35:45,865 --> 01:35:50,360
I, myself, couldn't be more pleased
1154
01:35:50,453 --> 01:35:52,570
with the results of Vatican II.
1155
01:35:53,998 --> 01:35:59,790
Pope John XXIII
was nothing short of a visionary
1156
01:35:59,879 --> 01:36:01,745
in terms of...
1157
01:36:04,884 --> 01:36:06,500
In terms...
1158
01:36:09,472 --> 01:36:11,054
Well, let's not belabour it.
1159
01:36:11,724 --> 01:36:16,640
I will read this letter
from the Archdiocese.
1160
01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:18,766
A letter,
1161
01:36:19,983 --> 01:36:22,270
regarding certain reforms
1162
01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:26,149
which we will be adopting immediately.
1163
01:36:30,451 --> 01:36:32,864
"From now on, please be advised
1164
01:36:32,954 --> 01:36:37,164
"that priests are no longer required
to read the liturgy in Latin
1165
01:36:37,458 --> 01:36:40,747
"and should face the congregation
during Mass.
1166
01:36:42,839 --> 01:36:46,082
"All Catholics are further
encouraged to embrace
1167
01:36:46,384 --> 01:36:49,502
"the idea of full religious tolerance.
1168
01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:53,214
"While we may not share
the same beliefs as others,
1169
01:36:53,308 --> 01:36:55,391
"we will honour and respect
1170
01:36:55,476 --> 01:36:59,595
"each and every individual's belief
as their own.
1171
01:37:00,648 --> 01:37:04,688
"Please be advised also that all nuns
1172
01:37:04,777 --> 01:37:08,487
"and women religious,
cloistered and non-cloistered,
1173
01:37:10,199 --> 01:37:14,409
"are no longer required to wear
the traditional habit
1174
01:37:15,288 --> 01:37:18,952
"as a symbol of their
lifelong matrimony to Christ.
1175
01:37:19,792 --> 01:37:20,908
"In fact,
1176
01:37:22,920 --> 01:37:25,663
"they are now free to wear
what they want.
1177
01:37:28,092 --> 01:37:31,176
"Regarding the culture
of more extreme abnegation
1178
01:37:31,262 --> 01:37:35,347
"and self-punishment still prevalent
in many communities today,
1179
01:37:36,434 --> 01:37:38,972
"please be advised
that according to the Council,
1180
01:37:39,062 --> 01:37:41,054
"this is no longer understood
1181
01:37:42,899 --> 01:37:45,186
"to be the appropriate path to follow
1182
01:37:45,276 --> 01:37:48,144
"for all those seeking
greater union with Christ.
1183
01:37:48,905 --> 01:37:50,771
"It is no longer acceptable
1184
01:37:50,865 --> 01:37:54,609
"to view any acts of extreme sacrifice
1185
01:37:55,912 --> 01:37:57,699
"as an act of love.
1186
01:37:58,539 --> 01:37:59,746
"Finally,
1187
01:38:01,751 --> 01:38:03,208
"from here forward,
1188
01:38:03,461 --> 01:38:08,422
"in the eyes of both
the Holy Church and God,
1189
01:38:10,635 --> 01:38:13,469
"the status of all nuns
shall be reduced as equal
1190
01:38:13,554 --> 01:38:18,800
"to that of any regular
practising Catholic.
1191
01:38:18,893 --> 01:38:23,012
"While the choice to enter the convent
remains one's own,
1192
01:38:23,898 --> 01:38:26,561
"this does not necessarily make nuns
any more
1193
01:38:28,903 --> 01:38:31,441
"beloved or special
1194
01:38:32,657 --> 01:38:34,398
"in the eyes of God."
1195
01:38:38,579 --> 01:38:42,664
I am deeply sorry, Sisters.
1196
01:38:43,709 --> 01:38:44,870
Have a pleasant day.
1197
01:39:06,524 --> 01:39:08,231
Where are you?
1198
01:39:14,031 --> 01:39:18,901
I can feel you, right next to me,
for so long.
1199
01:39:19,454 --> 01:39:20,661
With me
1200
01:39:22,790 --> 01:39:26,283
all that time, my darling husband.
1201
01:39:28,796 --> 01:39:31,789
And now you've abandoned me.
1202
01:39:39,599 --> 01:39:41,090
And you hoped
1203
01:39:42,351 --> 01:39:44,434
that I would lose faith in you?
1204
01:39:47,190 --> 01:39:51,525
You imagined that I would
just walk out those gates?
1205
01:39:55,823 --> 01:39:57,359
I cannot.
1206
01:40:01,162 --> 01:40:02,698
I made a commitment
1207
01:40:04,665 --> 01:40:06,156
forty years ago.
1208
01:40:08,377 --> 01:40:12,337
And even if you choose
to turn your light from me forever...
1209
01:40:17,553 --> 01:40:19,135
I am yours.
1210
01:40:23,809 --> 01:40:25,766
Oh, my darling husband.
1211
01:40:59,178 --> 01:41:00,464
You can't be here.
1212
01:41:08,521 --> 01:41:09,511
Okay.
1213
01:41:19,865 --> 01:41:20,855
Okay.
1214
01:41:35,047 --> 01:41:36,208
It's okay.
1215
01:42:06,871 --> 01:42:08,237
Do you remember...
1216
01:42:14,086 --> 01:42:16,453
Do you remember when you asked
what I was starving for?
1217
01:42:24,597 --> 01:42:25,929
I just want to be comforted.
1218
01:42:28,976 --> 01:42:31,093
Please, will you just comfort me?
Please?
1219
01:42:37,318 --> 01:42:38,900
Please, will you just...
Please, will you just...
1220
01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:40,485
Will you, please? Just...
1221
01:42:49,330 --> 01:42:51,868
Please, will you just comfort me?
Please, please, please.
1222
01:42:54,794 --> 01:42:58,378
Please, will you just comfort me?
Please, will you just comfort me?
1223
01:43:01,509 --> 01:43:02,875
I can't.
1224
01:43:05,971 --> 01:43:09,055
Please, I just want to be comforted.
Please, please, please.
1225
01:43:12,395 --> 01:43:13,602
Please.
1226
01:43:19,610 --> 01:43:21,101
- Okay.
- Please comfort me.
1227
01:43:21,195 --> 01:43:23,482
- I will. I will comfort you.
- Please, please, please.
1228
01:43:23,572 --> 01:43:24,813
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1229
01:43:39,964 --> 01:43:41,580
Please, please, please.
1230
01:43:41,674 --> 01:43:45,588
Okay. Okay. Stop talking.
1231
01:43:50,349 --> 01:43:51,339
Please.
1232
01:44:03,946 --> 01:44:05,687
Please, just comfort me. Please, please.
1233
01:44:07,700 --> 01:44:08,736
Please.
1234
01:44:28,888 --> 01:44:30,254
- Please, please.
- Okay, okay.
1235
01:44:30,347 --> 01:44:32,589
- Please, please.
- Okay, okay.
1236
01:44:36,771 --> 01:44:37,887
Comfort me.
1237
01:44:43,903 --> 01:44:45,610
I take it you're feeling better?
1238
01:44:49,533 --> 01:44:52,651
Yes. I am.
1239
01:44:53,412 --> 01:44:54,619
Thank you.
1240
01:44:55,998 --> 01:44:59,912
I appreciate the devotion you showed,
starving yourself for Christ.
1241
01:45:00,795 --> 01:45:01,876
Thank you, Mother.
1242
01:45:05,382 --> 01:45:07,169
So, a few bumps here and there,
1243
01:45:07,259 --> 01:45:10,297
but mostly you have been exceptional
during your training.
1244
01:45:11,931 --> 01:45:14,093
I believe you belong here
with us, Sister.
1245
01:45:15,351 --> 01:45:16,808
Doesn't that make you happy?
1246
01:45:18,062 --> 01:45:19,143
Yes.
1247
01:45:20,481 --> 01:45:21,688
Of course.
1248
01:45:22,900 --> 01:45:24,061
Of course I'm happy.
1249
01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:33,446
I don't know how much you've heard
about this Vatican II?
1250
01:45:35,454 --> 01:45:36,865
Not much,
1251
01:45:36,956 --> 01:45:38,572
just little things
I've heard here and there
1252
01:45:38,666 --> 01:45:39,998
from some of the others.
1253
01:45:43,879 --> 01:45:45,461
When I first came here...
1254
01:45:47,925 --> 01:45:51,885
When I first came to this convent,
I had nothing.
1255
01:45:55,266 --> 01:45:58,759
No home, no family, nothing.
1256
01:46:02,606 --> 01:46:06,270
The Church is the only thing
that ever held me.
1257
01:46:07,528 --> 01:46:08,939
It gave me my work,
1258
01:46:10,072 --> 01:46:11,279
my community,
1259
01:46:12,032 --> 01:46:13,364
even my identity.
1260
01:46:15,452 --> 01:46:21,039
And now Vatican II is trying
to invalidate all that, for all of us.
1261
01:46:23,168 --> 01:46:25,000
Saying none of it matters.
1262
01:46:27,381 --> 01:46:28,838
So, my question is,
1263
01:46:29,884 --> 01:46:32,877
what is it that really does
still matter?
1264
01:46:55,242 --> 01:46:56,483
Sister?
1265
01:47:05,294 --> 01:47:08,207
So much has changed
since we were postulants.
1266
01:47:10,633 --> 01:47:13,341
I know that
when I first had my vocation,
1267
01:47:14,470 --> 01:47:15,836
that it was real.
1268
01:47:16,472 --> 01:47:17,929
It was a real vocation.
1269
01:47:19,808 --> 01:47:23,051
Really, truly, His voice calling to me.
1270
01:47:29,735 --> 01:47:31,897
I just don't know sometimes
1271
01:47:31,987 --> 01:47:34,525
if that was what
He was really calling me for.
1272
01:47:36,659 --> 01:47:38,867
Maybe He wants something else for me.
1273
01:47:41,163 --> 01:47:43,701
Maybe He never meant for me
to be a nun at all...
1274
01:47:48,087 --> 01:47:51,125
Just wants me to be happy
and be good to others.
1275
01:47:56,345 --> 01:47:57,711
Or maybe not.
1276
01:48:04,019 --> 01:48:08,605
For your penance, I'd like you to say
three extra Hail Marys at bedtime.
1277
01:48:09,191 --> 01:48:10,523
You can do it quickly if you'd like.
1278
01:48:16,323 --> 01:48:17,655
Sister Cathleen.
1279
01:48:19,076 --> 01:48:20,692
Come to the centre of the room, please.
1280
01:48:30,295 --> 01:48:32,912
You have any accusations
you'd like to share with us?
1281
01:48:35,801 --> 01:48:36,837
Faults?
1282
01:48:42,391 --> 01:48:43,882
- Do you hear me, Sister?
- Yes.
1283
01:48:51,483 --> 01:48:52,940
I want to accuse myself.
1284
01:49:00,951 --> 01:49:02,487
I accuse myself of having feelings.
1285
01:49:04,580 --> 01:49:05,991
"Feelings"?
1286
01:49:08,208 --> 01:49:10,165
Feelings I'm not sure
I'm supposed to have.
1287
01:49:13,672 --> 01:49:15,379
Like wanting to be with another person
1288
01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:21,882
in a way that made me
1289
01:49:23,932 --> 01:49:24,922
feel...
1290
01:49:25,017 --> 01:49:26,428
Feel what?
1291
01:49:28,395 --> 01:49:29,385
Comforted.
1292
01:49:31,607 --> 01:49:32,814
Wanted.
1293
01:49:34,359 --> 01:49:35,475
Loved.
1294
01:49:37,571 --> 01:49:38,937
I wanted someone to touch me.
1295
01:49:41,158 --> 01:49:43,821
I wanted someone to make me feel
something more than God can give me.
1296
01:49:43,911 --> 01:49:45,447
More than God can give you?
1297
01:49:46,246 --> 01:49:47,362
What do you mean?
1298
01:49:47,748 --> 01:49:50,456
- Explain yourself.
- I don't know how to explain myself.
1299
01:49:53,587 --> 01:49:55,249
I'm accusing myself
of being intimate with someone.
1300
01:49:55,506 --> 01:49:57,168
- Intimate?
- With another Sister.
1301
01:49:58,801 --> 01:50:00,008
Feeling love for her.
1302
01:50:02,387 --> 01:50:04,504
And I don't think it was a sin.
I don't think it was a sin.
1303
01:50:04,598 --> 01:50:07,557
Because it didn't feel like a sin.
It felt like I'm supposed to feel.
1304
01:50:08,352 --> 01:50:09,593
A particular friendship?
1305
01:50:10,854 --> 01:50:12,186
With someone in this room?
1306
01:50:14,900 --> 01:50:16,357
- Who?
- I'm not going to say, Mother.
1307
01:50:16,443 --> 01:50:17,433
I did what you asked.
1308
01:50:17,528 --> 01:50:20,271
I made my confession.
Will you just give me my penance?
1309
01:50:20,489 --> 01:50:24,529
I want you to tell me exactly
what you did and with whom.
1310
01:50:24,618 --> 01:50:26,029
No, I did what you asked,
I made my accusation.
1311
01:50:26,120 --> 01:50:27,782
- Will you just give me my penance?
- Do you want your penance?
1312
01:50:27,871 --> 01:50:29,453
Yes, I want my penance.
Please just give me my penance.
1313
01:50:29,957 --> 01:50:31,323
You want your penance, Cathleen?
1314
01:50:31,416 --> 01:50:33,874
Yes, I just want my penance.
Please just give me my penance.
1315
01:50:33,961 --> 01:50:35,418
You do? You want your penance?
1316
01:50:36,213 --> 01:50:38,421
Yes, I just want my penance.
I want my penance, please.
1317
01:50:38,507 --> 01:50:40,248
- Do you want your penance?
- Please, yes.
1318
01:50:43,345 --> 01:50:44,756
Please give it to me.
1319
01:50:45,430 --> 01:50:50,425
I want you to crawl around this room
1320
01:50:50,519 --> 01:50:55,014
and ask this group for your penance.
1321
01:50:55,107 --> 01:50:57,440
I just want my penance.
Please, I beg you. Please. Please.
1322
01:50:58,402 --> 01:50:59,859
I'm begging you, please.
1323
01:51:03,407 --> 01:51:04,818
I'm begging you.
1324
01:51:08,036 --> 01:51:10,528
Please, I'm begging you.
Please, please.
1325
01:51:14,710 --> 01:51:16,793
I'm begging you, please.
1326
01:51:39,985 --> 01:51:41,942
I don't understand. Where is everyone?
1327
01:51:43,447 --> 01:51:44,528
Gone.
1328
01:51:44,865 --> 01:51:46,401
Gone? What do you mean, "gone"?
1329
01:51:47,117 --> 01:51:48,324
Didn't you hear?
1330
01:51:49,119 --> 01:51:50,985
It's because of Vatican II.
1331
01:51:53,498 --> 01:51:55,205
Now and forever. God bless, Sister.
1332
01:51:57,461 --> 01:52:00,044
You three are late.
Is everyone here now?
1333
01:52:05,093 --> 01:52:08,461
Why are there only five dresses?
Where's Sister Emanuel?
1334
01:52:08,555 --> 01:52:10,421
Sister Emanuel's dress
will not be needed any more
1335
01:52:10,515 --> 01:52:11,722
because Sister Emanuel left.
1336
01:52:12,267 --> 01:52:14,259
She's not going to be taking vows
with the rest of you.
1337
01:52:14,353 --> 01:52:15,764
What do you mean, she left?
Where'd she go?
1338
01:52:15,854 --> 01:52:17,436
I have no idea, she just left.
That's all.
1339
01:52:17,814 --> 01:52:19,350
I guess she didn't want
to be a nun any more.
1340
01:52:23,570 --> 01:52:27,530
I don't know if this is something
that I need to figure out on my own.
1341
01:52:28,825 --> 01:52:30,361
I'll do whatever it takes.
1342
01:52:32,204 --> 01:52:33,866
If you want me to stay, then I'll stay.
1343
01:52:38,669 --> 01:52:41,753
But I can't tell
if that's what you want any more.
1344
01:52:41,880 --> 01:52:43,872
I can't hear you, and I don't know.
1345
01:54:12,346 --> 01:54:13,803
I pray and beseech thee
1346
01:54:15,057 --> 01:54:17,595
- that each of these dear pledges...
- Is he speaking English?
1347
01:54:17,684 --> 01:54:19,016
...of Jesus and Mary,
1348
01:54:19,686 --> 01:54:22,850
their being preserved
from all uncleanness.
1349
01:54:23,231 --> 01:54:26,941
Thy may with spotless mind,
pure heart and a chaste body
1350
01:54:27,986 --> 01:54:32,606
serve Jesus and Mary most chastely
all the days of my life.
1351
01:54:32,699 --> 01:54:33,689
Amen.
1352
01:54:39,539 --> 01:54:40,996
What is it you seek?
1353
01:54:42,376 --> 01:54:45,164
I seek to take the vows
1354
01:54:45,420 --> 01:54:50,791
of chastity, poverty and obedience.
1355
01:54:52,344 --> 01:54:53,630
To give my life
1356
01:54:54,888 --> 01:54:57,005
to God for eternity.
1357
01:54:58,100 --> 01:55:03,812
To be married forever
to our Lord Jesus Christ.
1358
01:55:05,690 --> 01:55:09,149
Bride of Christ, you are now professed.
1359
01:55:27,712 --> 01:55:29,578
What is it you desire?
1360
01:55:34,302 --> 01:55:35,543
With the help of God,
1361
01:55:37,222 --> 01:55:39,134
I have come to know in this community
1362
01:55:41,143 --> 01:55:43,681
both the difficulty and joy
1363
01:55:44,771 --> 01:55:46,888
of a life completely devoted to Him.
1364
01:55:50,485 --> 01:55:53,899
My desire is to make
permanent profession
1365
01:55:55,407 --> 01:55:56,989
within this community
1366
01:55:59,411 --> 01:56:01,448
and to wear the holy habit of the Rose.
1367
01:56:02,164 --> 01:56:03,905
And what is it you seek?
1368
01:56:19,764 --> 01:56:20,880
I seek...
1369
01:56:22,809 --> 01:56:24,050
What do I seek?
1370
01:56:28,899 --> 01:56:30,185
What do I seek?
1371
01:56:42,704 --> 01:56:43,945
I seek...
1372
01:56:47,459 --> 01:56:48,791
I seek something more.