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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
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3
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,370
Who's this?
4
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,808
Can you hear me?
5
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,395
Answer your fucking phone!
6
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,065
She has a
pulse, but its faint.
7
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,505
No!
8
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,723
You're all right, stay with me.
9
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:06,637
Look at me.
10
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:07,725
Hey, please.
11
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:14,819
Are you watching?
12
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,259
Please.
13
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,260
Keep your eyes open.
14
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:25,308
This is that moment.
15
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,309
Please stay alive.
16
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,702
Where it all ends
17
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,486
Please stay alive.
18
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:31,706
No, don't go.
19
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,011
Because of what I did.
20
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:33,969
Please.
21
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,974
One, two, three.
22
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,456
And again, one, two.
23
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,415
Hi, Ms. Rose.
24
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,546
Can I call you Dean?
25
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,288
Yeah.
26
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,508
My name is Dr. Teixeira.
27
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,161
You can call me Janet.
28
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:38,076
I'm assigned-
- I know who you are.
29
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,253
Okay.
30
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,994
So you know what I'm here to do?
31
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,176
How are you feeling today?
32
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:59,054
Well, I reviewed the
toxicology report.
33
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,404
You had extremely high
levels of benzodiazepine
34
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:03,319
and sertraline in your system.
35
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:06,453
You had blood alcohol
concentration of 0.25.
36
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,193
Cocaine.
37
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:11,762
Your arms took 42 stitches
to close the wounds.
38
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,460
You are really
lucky to be alive.
39
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,072
Help me to understand
40
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,029
why you would attempt
to take your own life.
41
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:18,987
I wasn't...
42
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,120
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
43
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,386
So just a regular
Tuesday night?
44
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,042
I've been informed by Jackson
45
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,870
that this wasn't
your first attempt.
46
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:33,784
There have been others.
47
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:34,655
That's...
48
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,266
It's not true.
49
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,270
It's a lie.
50
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,054
We saw the scars on
your arms and legs.
51
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,408
Don't get me 5150.
52
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:54,152
This will follow me for
the rest of my life.
53
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,024
Then explain to
me what happened.
54
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:04,598
I'm not a threat to
myself or anyone else.
55
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:05,468
I've never hurt anybody.
56
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,080
I just...
57
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,519
I just wanna go home
and I wanna sleep.
58
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:15,435
Wanna sleep.
59
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,264
It was a mistake.
60
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,441
How do you expect
me to believe that?
61
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:26,315
Anyone who cuts
their arms that deep
62
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:27,925
is a threat to themselves.
63
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,065
Yeah.
64
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:42,331
You've already
made your decision.
65
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,464
So, can you get the
fuck outta my room?
66
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,324
Listen, give me one!
67
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,543
Give me one.
- Michael.
68
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,197
- Michael.
- Stand down!
69
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:23,546
You watch my wife!
70
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,334
This is gonna calm
you down, Michael.
71
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,597
Michael, good.
72
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,744
Everybody thinks I'm crazy.
73
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,137
Just be happy.
74
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,879
Happiness is a choice.
75
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:55,447
Fucking right, I
chose to be this way.
76
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,191
I t's like a
virus taking over my brain.
77
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:03,804
I just want it to stop,
but you're keeping me here.
78
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,501
And where's the fucking cure?
79
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,984
Well, unfortunately
there is no official cure,
80
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:13,901
but we do have tools
that can help us,
81
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:17,557
coping skills, talking
about our feelings.
82
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,167
Help us feel better.
83
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,300
I think you need to share.
84
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,054
Your continual refusal to eat
85
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,448
is only making things
more difficult, Dean.
86
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,581
So again, please,
87
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,585
stand and come with
us to the cafeteria.
88
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,113
No, no, no, no.
89
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,157
No, no, no!
90
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,638
Get off of me!
91
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:56,596
No!
92
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,732
I need you to get immediately.
93
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:08,303
Get off, get off of me!
94
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,442
You're okay.
95
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,236
I've
been on medication.
96
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,432
Magic.
97
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:24,945
You should eat.
98
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:25,815
It's easier.
99
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,777
And you should probably
stop taking them pills
100
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,952
they're giving you.
101
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,083
You're actually gonna go insane.
102
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,567
You know, they get paid for
every drug they prescribe us.
103
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,182
Antipsychotics, barbiturates,
opioids, whatever it is,
104
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,924
they're getting paid.
105
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:51,928
That's why there's literally
a pill for everything.
106
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,063
I mean, look around the room.
107
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:02,634
Just at the numbers, you know?
108
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:06,073
Let's say they get
$15 a day per person.
109
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:09,337
Multiply that by what, 50 people
in the hospital right now.
110
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:15,386
Many of us here for
30 days or longer.
111
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:20,000
That's $22,500 on
medication alone.
112
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:26,658
Not to mention fucking
room, board, therapy,
113
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,357
medical procedures.
114
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,489
What do you think the
force feeding runs ya?
115
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,319
10K at least.
116
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,237
And the second we're released,
117
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,196
we're just replaced
with someone else.
118
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,894
And the worst of it,
119
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,723
most of these patients
come here looking for help
120
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:51,640
and instead they're locked
up, stuffed full of pills,
121
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,427
and charged for therapy.
122
00:12:56,427 --> 00:13:00,475
Can only imagine the addictions
that follow this place.
123
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,259
A fucking epidemic.
124
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,264
It's a fucking joke.
125
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,701
Have you seen the
commercials for these things?
126
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,228
Feel happy, be better.
127
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,752
Love your children again.
128
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:19,450
May cause anal
seepage, a limp dick,
129
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:23,367
accidentally growing dick
and flesh eating disease.
130
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,153
It's ridiculous.
131
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,068
It's goddamn ridiculous.
132
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:36,032
So what exactly
is the point then?
133
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,038
There isn't one.
134
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,827
That makes me
feel better, thanks.
135
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,046
Good, I'm glad.
136
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,005
Anytime.
137
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:54,094
I'm a ray of sunshine, always.
138
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:56,792
I'm Bria.
139
00:13:58,968 --> 00:13:59,882
Dean.
140
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:03,930
You a cutter?
141
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,889
Not a fucking cutter.
142
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:11,938
So the wraps are a
fashion accessory then?
143
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:15,985
I cut this time.
144
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,031
That does not make me a...
145
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,554
It doesn't make me a cutter.
146
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,123
Okay, what are you then?
147
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,342
Depressed.
148
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,562
So they tell me.
149
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,349
How about you?
150
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,093
A junkie, or so they tell me.
151
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:41,750
Drug of choice?
152
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,535
Anything that gets me high.
153
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,843
I love me some H.
154
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:56,417
Yeah, I was always more
of an upper person myself.
155
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,898
Down enough genetically, I
don't really need the help.
156
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:06,427
So, how exactly does being
a junkie land you here?
157
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:18,091
Well, when you take enough
heroin to kill a horse,
158
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,571
they believe there might be
something else behind it.
159
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,270
Also, having enough
in my possession
160
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:27,013
to get a small village high
didn't really help my case.
161
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:31,452
Was there something
else behind it?
162
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,289
I tried to kill myself.
163
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,076
It's traumatic.
164
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,164
So they tell me.
165
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,169
And now?
166
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,134
Stay tuned.
167
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,667
How have you
been doing in here?
168
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:18,629
Cute kid.
169
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,164
Either you can talk and
eventually get out of here
170
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,993
or we can sit in
silence every session.
171
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,909
But if you don't mind,
172
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,215
I'll get some
administrative work done
173
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,738
while I have the quiet.
174
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:58,234
Your sister's coming
tomorrow to see the judge.
175
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,281
Wanted to let you know.
176
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,835
You're okay.
177
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,884
I'm leaving.
178
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,628
I already spoke to
the judge today.
179
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,979
There's nothing I can do
about the 5150 on your record,
180
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,633
but I'll do what I can.
181
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,606
I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.
182
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,129
Oh, no, no, you were thinking.
183
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:10,480
You were just only
thinking about yourself.
184
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,178
I begged you to
come live with me.
185
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,614
You pulled away.
186
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,050
What was I supposed to do?
187
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,444
I can't do this.
188
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,142
You wanna kill yourself?
189
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,404
I'm not gonna
stand by and watch.
190
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,929
You don't know what it's like.
191
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,497
I've been on
Prozac for 11 years.
192
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,108
I've been dealing
with this all my life.
193
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,761
It's genetic, Dean.
194
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,938
I know exactly how it
feels to be depressed,
195
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,593
to feel unimportant,
to be left behind.
196
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:37,855
I was there too.
197
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,425
I love you.
198
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:45,167
I hope you stick
around, I really do.
199
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:22,204
You know you can't be
in other patient's rooms.
200
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,162
Let's go.
201
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,469
Come on, she's
having a rough go.
202
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,297
You know the rules.
203
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,733
Get outta the room, Bria.
204
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,388
Thank you.
205
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,100
Thank you.
206
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,168
Fresh meat.
207
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:01,521
Yeah.
208
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:04,698
First time?
209
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,615
No, she has definitely
been in before.
210
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,226
Cutter?
211
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:18,581
Daddy?
212
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:22,759
Oh, yeah.
213
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:26,937
No, I'm gonna say boyfriend.
214
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:29,766
Boyfriend.
215
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:33,292
Mm-hm.
216
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,945
That sounds about right.
217
00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:41,038
Can I get a cigarette?
218
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:53,573
So I need a couple more
minutes for specifics,
219
00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,142
but I am going to...
220
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:08,414
I'm gonna say
major daddy issues.
221
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:11,765
Sexually curious, but
only to piss daddy off.
222
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:16,770
Ethnic, so I'm
just on my thought.
223
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,947
Fuck, I'm crazy.
224
00:22:19,947 --> 00:22:23,167
Probably a chip on your
shoulder for the people.
225
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:24,647
All in all, it's men.
226
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:31,567
Men are your problem and they
drive you fucking bunkers.
227
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,177
Yeah.
228
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:34,744
I mean, it's slightly racist,
229
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:38,095
but yeah, I guess
that about sums me up.
230
00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:40,446
Cha-ching.
231
00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:42,361
I don't give a fuck
about my people though.
232
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,362
I'm a mutt.
233
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,363
They're all fucked.
234
00:22:47,844 --> 00:22:49,019
It's not men.
235
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,981
Oh, goddamn it,
that was my instinct.
236
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:55,417
It was, and I should
have gone with it.
237
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,592
I should have gone with my gut.
238
00:22:56,592 --> 00:22:57,985
Go with your gut.
239
00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,116
Yeah, I sorry
to disappoint you,
240
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:02,946
but women are my problem.
241
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:04,165
So I'll give you that.
242
00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:13,653
What are you writing?
243
00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:17,831
Nothing.
244
00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:20,486
Can I see?
245
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,144
Shit, it's...
246
00:23:27,144 --> 00:23:28,276
It's okay.
247
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,541
This is what I'm doing.
248
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:35,805
Can I just read it?
249
00:23:43,073 --> 00:23:43,987
Please?
250
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:03,093
Are these lyrics?
251
00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:05,661
Not very good ones.
252
00:24:06,836 --> 00:24:08,838
Will you sing these to me?
253
00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,318
Fuck you.
254
00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:11,711
- Come on.
- No.
255
00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:13,321
Are you like a pussy?
256
00:24:13,321 --> 00:24:15,192
Yeah, sure.
257
00:24:15,192 --> 00:24:18,457
I mean, you're laying
in a mental institution
258
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,111
involuntarily locked up
next to a crazy lesbian
259
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:22,939
that tried to fuck up
her girlfriend's lover.
260
00:24:22,939 --> 00:24:25,246
I mean, it doesn't get
much lower than this.
261
00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,292
Well, well, well.
262
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:30,207
Like a lesbo in a candy shop.
263
00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:32,166
How the fuck did
you luck out here?
264
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:36,475
What do you think I am, the
beacon of truth and honesty?
265
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,477
I don't wanna be a
cliterference, bro.
266
00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:45,440
These are really good.
267
00:24:50,793 --> 00:24:53,448
Thanks, I just
wanted to see them.
268
00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:57,757
You know, the minute you
stop doing what you love,
269
00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:58,888
you're fucked.
270
00:25:03,153 --> 00:25:05,112
I just couldn't
take the rejection.
271
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:12,249
Yeah, but you don't have
to sing for anyone else.
272
00:25:12,249 --> 00:25:13,816
I work in this
Italian restaurant.
273
00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:16,776
It's like tiny.
274
00:25:16,776 --> 00:25:21,084
And the mom and Bob, they
hang my artwork on the walls
275
00:25:21,084 --> 00:25:22,564
with little price tags
276
00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:24,348
as if someone's
actually gonna buy it.
277
00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:30,572
They think that it's special.
278
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:31,530
And so I paint.
279
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:34,707
It's all the motivation I need.
280
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,319
You don't have to
be a famous singer.
281
00:25:39,886 --> 00:25:41,757
If you love to sing,
you gotta sing.
282
00:27:29,865 --> 00:27:30,736
Open.
283
00:27:32,259 --> 00:27:34,435
Not fucking close.
284
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,673
Code blue!
285
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,370
Do we have a pulse?
286
00:27:57,980 --> 00:27:59,939
There's no pulse!
287
00:27:59,939 --> 00:28:01,592
Can we untie the sheet?
288
00:28:01,592 --> 00:28:02,593
Come on.
289
00:28:05,248 --> 00:28:08,687
Someone get something
to cut the sheet!
290
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:12,125
Somebody get something we
can cut the sheet with!
291
00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:14,562
Oh god, fucking [indistinct].
292
00:28:37,977 --> 00:28:38,891
Breathe.
293
00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:44,244
Who the
fuck let him have it
294
00:28:44,244 --> 00:28:46,376
and why was he
alone in his room?
295
00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,771
There you go, breathe.
296
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:52,295
Go on, Taryn, get
back to your room.
297
00:28:57,039 --> 00:28:59,476
What is going on in here?
298
00:28:59,476 --> 00:29:01,217
I brought her in here.
299
00:29:01,217 --> 00:29:02,523
I didn't think it was
good for her to see that.
300
00:29:07,484 --> 00:29:08,834
Yeah.
301
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:23,979
Just keep breathing.
302
00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:34,816
Did you know Carter?
303
00:29:43,259 --> 00:29:46,697
Janet, I'm ready to
get the fuck outta here.
304
00:29:49,396 --> 00:29:53,530
What would be your plan
if you were released?
305
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:55,619
I have to find out
where all my shit is.
306
00:29:59,275 --> 00:30:00,363
And a place.
307
00:30:04,411 --> 00:30:12,419
My sister's making me take
control of my trust again.
It's just so she doesn't
have to talk to me.
308
00:30:12,419 --> 00:30:14,900
Give her time.
309
00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:17,119
People can take these
things very personally.
310
00:30:20,296 --> 00:30:22,211
She believes you're
ready to get out.
311
00:30:28,043 --> 00:30:29,175
That's surprising.
312
00:30:30,524 --> 00:30:31,612
What do you think?
313
00:30:37,009 --> 00:30:37,923
I agree.
314
00:30:43,058 --> 00:30:45,147
Why do you think I
should release you?
315
00:30:55,723 --> 00:31:01,598
I don't know, because
you can keep me in here
316
00:31:01,598 --> 00:31:05,211
as long as you want to.
317
00:31:05,211 --> 00:31:09,868
But it's something
that I really wanna do.
318
00:31:11,608 --> 00:31:13,784
I'm gonna figure out a way.
319
00:31:13,784 --> 00:31:15,090
You can't protect me.
320
00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:18,180
Look at Carter.
321
00:31:23,185 --> 00:31:25,535
I have some shit that
I have to work through,
322
00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:35,023
but I don't wanna see
stuff like this anymore.
323
00:31:39,767 --> 00:31:41,421
I can pretend that it
didn't fuck with me
324
00:31:41,421 --> 00:31:45,904
seeing him that way, but it did.
325
00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:52,084
I don't want nurses
always watching me.
326
00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:57,045
You know, I don't belong here.
327
00:32:01,006 --> 00:32:02,529
I'm not crazy.
328
00:32:04,835 --> 00:32:06,011
Just sad.
329
00:32:08,274 --> 00:32:09,840
What happens the next time?
330
00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:14,758
I don't wanna die.
331
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:23,637
I just don't want the
life I have sometimes.
332
00:32:25,508 --> 00:32:28,468
It's hard carrying that much
baggage around all the time,
333
00:32:30,165 --> 00:32:31,340
but I wanna learn.
334
00:32:35,431 --> 00:32:38,913
And I think that's
the first step.
335
00:32:45,528 --> 00:32:49,228
I'll start the wheels of
motion for your release.
336
00:32:52,622 --> 00:32:53,536
Thank you.
337
00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:58,585
Don't make me regret this.
338
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:11,728
You scared the shit outta me.
339
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:26,830
I'm gonna miss you.
340
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:29,964
Gonna miss you.
341
00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:42,629
You have no idea
how amazing it feels
342
00:33:42,629 --> 00:33:45,806
to have someone like
you in my life again.
343
00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:48,765
Because I haven't had it for
a really, really long time.
344
00:33:51,551 --> 00:33:52,639
Me either.
345
00:33:58,427 --> 00:33:59,602
And it's terrifying.
346
00:34:08,437 --> 00:34:09,569
I can't lose you too.
347
00:34:12,354 --> 00:34:14,530
I'm not going anywhere.
348
00:34:25,759 --> 00:34:27,195
My parents...
349
00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:33,549
They were all I had.
350
00:34:36,291 --> 00:34:38,293
And then one day,
they were just gone.
351
00:34:41,514 --> 00:34:49,609
And nobody cared if
I was alive or dead.
352
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:56,311
And shitty people get
to live every day.
353
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:03,188
But my parents are gone
354
00:35:03,188 --> 00:35:05,973
because some girl had to
answer a text message.
355
00:35:05,973 --> 00:35:11,109
And I wondered every
day what it said,
356
00:35:12,588 --> 00:35:15,025
what words and in what order
357
00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:23,033
took a priority in the universe.
358
00:35:26,602 --> 00:35:29,344
What was that important?
359
00:35:29,344 --> 00:35:31,651
Because it ruined my life.
360
00:35:46,318 --> 00:35:47,841
They loved you.
361
00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:52,019
They didn't wanna leave you.
362
00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:55,022
Must be amazing knowing
363
00:35:55,022 --> 00:35:59,505
that they would still be
here with you if they could.
364
00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:09,732
You are so incredibly loved.
365
00:38:10,070 --> 00:38:12,290
Hey,
this is Bennett.
366
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:13,465
Please leave a message.
367
00:38:13,465 --> 00:38:15,510
I will get back to you.
368
00:38:57,944 --> 00:38:59,337
Hi!
369
00:38:59,598 --> 00:39:00,468
Bitch,
where have you been?
370
00:39:00,468 --> 00:39:01,817
I've been calling you.
371
00:39:01,817 --> 00:39:03,732
I miss you.
372
00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:09,564
Yeah.
373
00:39:09,564 --> 00:39:10,652
No, no, no, I just woke up.
374
00:39:10,652 --> 00:39:12,219
I'm sorry.
375
00:39:12,219 --> 00:39:13,742
Are you sure?
376
00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:16,005
Oh, what's been happening?
377
00:39:16,005 --> 00:39:17,616
Wait for
like two seconds
378
00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:23,752
Crazy bitch.
379
00:39:23,752 --> 00:39:24,971
No, I'm serious.
380
00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:30,150
Oh my god!
381
00:39:30,150 --> 00:39:31,281
Hey, Bennett's
finally calling me.
382
00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:33,022
Can I call you right back?
383
00:39:33,022 --> 00:39:34,502
You better
call me the fuck back.
384
00:39:34,502 --> 00:39:36,286
No, I promise I'll
call you right back.
385
00:39:36,286 --> 00:39:37,418
Hoe, call me back!
386
00:39:37,418 --> 00:39:38,941
I love you, bye.
387
00:39:38,941 --> 00:39:39,899
Bye!
388
00:40:49,664 --> 00:40:51,492
Hey.
389
00:40:51,492 --> 00:40:54,887
I already got you started in
the corner with some guys.
390
00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:58,325
They're a little bit douchey,
so put on a brave face.
391
00:40:58,325 --> 00:40:59,805
Fucking great.
392
00:41:21,914 --> 00:41:24,177
Hey guys, can I get
you something to drink?
393
00:41:25,918 --> 00:41:26,832
Look at you.
394
00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:30,488
You're fucking gorgeous.
395
00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:33,360
Sam, look at these lips.
396
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,015
Have you ever seen
lips this beautiful?
397
00:41:36,015 --> 00:41:39,235
I'm Ray and I'd
love a jack and coke
398
00:41:39,235 --> 00:41:40,933
and to see you on
those pretty knees
399
00:41:40,933 --> 00:41:43,239
by the end of the night.
400
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:44,763
So funny.
401
00:41:49,985 --> 00:41:51,291
Calm down, sit down!
402
00:41:53,641 --> 00:41:55,600
You okay?
403
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,557
- Yeah.
- You're fine.
404
00:41:56,557 --> 00:41:57,732
You're not dead.
405
00:41:57,732 --> 00:41:59,604
- Okay.
- Dean, come with me.
406
00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:10,310
If it makes you feel any
better, guy totally deserved it.
407
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,318
Lose your job?
408
00:42:22,017 --> 00:42:22,975
Sorry.
409
00:42:33,855 --> 00:42:34,769
Trenton.
410
00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:39,905
Dean.
411
00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:45,258
So where'd she go?
412
00:42:49,088 --> 00:42:50,698
It wasn't really working out.
413
00:42:52,918 --> 00:42:55,007
Is that before or
after you punched a guy
414
00:42:55,007 --> 00:42:57,662
for another girl?
415
00:42:57,662 --> 00:43:00,273
I figured this way, we'd
both go down for assault.
416
00:43:00,273 --> 00:43:02,275
Then I'd definitely
get to see you again.
417
00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:11,110
You wanna go get drunk?
418
00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:13,199
How long have you been here?
419
00:43:13,199 --> 00:43:14,766
About three years now.
420
00:43:14,766 --> 00:43:15,941
- Mm.
- Cheers.
421
00:43:15,941 --> 00:43:16,898
Cheers.
422
00:43:22,338 --> 00:43:24,384
Okay, what brought you here?
423
00:43:24,384 --> 00:43:25,690
I came from music.
424
00:43:27,213 --> 00:43:30,346
I had to get the
fuck out of that.
425
00:43:30,346 --> 00:43:33,219
Yeah, is that 'cause
Brooklyn was so bad.
426
00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:35,308
Just lost some of its pizazz.
427
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,355
Yeah, where are you from?
428
00:43:40,748 --> 00:43:42,184
Nashville.
429
00:43:42,184 --> 00:43:44,404
I've always
wanted to go there.
430
00:43:44,404 --> 00:43:47,450
That's funny, I've
always wanted to leave.
431
00:43:47,450 --> 00:43:48,800
Mm.
432
00:43:50,062 --> 00:43:51,672
Care to elaborate?
433
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,635
Too many shitty memories.
434
00:43:59,027 --> 00:44:00,986
Yeah,
see, lost its pizazz.
435
00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:02,901
Mm.
436
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:06,731
Yeah, every street corner
reminded me of something I lost.
437
00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:08,080
And what'd you lose?
438
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,037
Everything.
439
00:44:10,256 --> 00:44:11,736
Dad, my grandparents.
440
00:44:13,825 --> 00:44:15,000
Look at that.
441
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,479
Yeah.
442
00:44:16,479 --> 00:44:19,221
So, any other family?
443
00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:20,658
None that I speak to, no.
444
00:44:22,834 --> 00:44:23,748
You?
445
00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:26,707
I have a sister.
446
00:44:26,707 --> 00:44:30,493
She lives in San Francisco,
but we don't talk much.
447
00:44:32,757 --> 00:44:34,715
That's bizarre.
448
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:35,890
Family that I don't speak to
449
00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:38,719
lives right outside the city.
450
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:39,677
Walnut Creek.
451
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:42,331
Intriguing.
452
00:44:42,331 --> 00:44:43,419
I'd say.
453
00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:47,728
So, music, hmm?
454
00:44:47,728 --> 00:44:48,686
Music.
455
00:44:48,947 --> 00:44:50,426
Producing what?
456
00:44:50,426 --> 00:44:52,515
Yeah, a little
bit of everything.
457
00:44:52,515 --> 00:44:55,518
Right now, I do music
for the motion pictures.
458
00:44:56,955 --> 00:44:58,434
Is it your own music?
459
00:44:58,434 --> 00:45:00,306
Not really.
460
00:45:00,306 --> 00:45:03,048
I'm more of a music supervisor,
so I get to take any bands
461
00:45:03,048 --> 00:45:06,355
or songs that nobody's ever
heard of and give 'em exposure.
462
00:45:06,355 --> 00:45:09,097
Kinda my way of making other
people's dreams come true.
463
00:45:10,795 --> 00:45:12,753
I'm paying it forward.
464
00:45:12,753 --> 00:45:15,016
And why don't you
use your own music?
465
00:45:16,583 --> 00:45:19,804
Because it's not ready yet.
466
00:45:19,804 --> 00:45:23,285
But I will one day.
467
00:45:25,157 --> 00:45:26,898
What's your thing, Nashville?
468
00:45:26,898 --> 00:45:29,509
What's your deal?
What's your "thang"?
469
00:45:29,509 --> 00:45:31,598
I don't have a "thang."
470
00:45:31,598 --> 00:45:33,208
Really, nothing?
471
00:45:37,430 --> 00:45:38,736
I like music.
472
00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:42,522
I used to sing a little bit.
473
00:45:42,522 --> 00:45:45,003
I used to do a lot of things.
474
00:45:45,003 --> 00:45:47,962
Well, that's perfect
'cause I'll play you my stuff
475
00:45:47,962 --> 00:45:49,311
when you play me yours.
476
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:53,359
That's never going to happen.
477
00:45:53,359 --> 00:45:55,796
Yeah,
we'll see about that.
478
00:45:55,796 --> 00:45:58,756
Don't you hold your breath.
479
00:45:58,756 --> 00:45:59,800
Okay.
480
00:46:18,036 --> 00:46:20,255
Dream place to go?
481
00:46:20,255 --> 00:46:21,213
Italy.
482
00:46:22,475 --> 00:46:23,824
Birthday?
483
00:46:23,824 --> 00:46:25,043
October 28th.
484
00:46:26,871 --> 00:46:28,524
Shut the fuck up.
485
00:46:28,524 --> 00:46:30,265
- What?
- Wait, 10/28?
486
00:46:30,265 --> 00:46:31,614
Yeah, that would
be October 28th.
487
00:46:31,614 --> 00:46:33,355
That would be.
488
00:46:33,355 --> 00:46:36,576
Creepy, I have a huge
connection to that number.
489
00:46:36,576 --> 00:46:37,969
What's the connection?
490
00:46:37,969 --> 00:46:39,361
It's the name of this song
491
00:46:39,361 --> 00:46:42,190
that I've always
wanted to finish.
492
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:46,455
I don't get it, the
song's name is 10/28?
493
00:46:46,455 --> 00:46:48,501
Well, it's never officially
been named, you know,
494
00:46:48,501 --> 00:46:52,070
that must have been the
date that I created it.
495
00:46:52,070 --> 00:46:53,245
But I never finished
it, so yeah,
496
00:46:53,245 --> 00:46:55,900
it's still 10/28 in my computer.
497
00:46:57,031 --> 00:46:58,032
What's it about?
498
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,861
I don't really know.
499
00:47:03,168 --> 00:47:07,868
I saw this girl in this coffee
shop and she just looked sad.
500
00:47:09,087 --> 00:47:11,611
She was so stunning.
501
00:47:11,611 --> 00:47:13,352
But when I was
watching her, you know,
502
00:47:13,352 --> 00:47:16,398
people would go up and talk
to her and she'd smile.
503
00:47:16,398 --> 00:47:19,097
As soon as they walked
away, she'd just drop it.
504
00:47:20,098 --> 00:47:22,840
It was painful, forced.
505
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:26,582
And she just looked so sad.
506
00:47:28,715 --> 00:47:32,066
And then I heard this beat in
my head and a couple phrases
507
00:47:32,066 --> 00:47:36,070
and I went home and
I created it for her.
508
00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:38,638
But just never found
inspiration to finish it.
509
00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:43,512
Maybe that's all it
was ever supposed to be.
510
00:47:45,601 --> 00:47:49,779
Maybe, but there's
only like eight lyrics.
511
00:47:51,781 --> 00:47:52,913
Maybe that's enough.
512
00:47:56,264 --> 00:47:57,178
Maybe.
513
00:47:58,310 --> 00:47:59,659
Can we go listen to it?
514
00:48:01,443 --> 00:48:02,923
- Like right now?
- Yeah, like now.
515
00:48:02,923 --> 00:48:04,446
I wanna hear it.
516
00:48:21,942 --> 00:48:23,988
♪ I'll be fine ♪
517
00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:25,380
♪ It'll be fine ♪
518
00:48:25,641 --> 00:48:27,774
♪ Please don't worry about me ♪
519
00:48:27,774 --> 00:48:29,645
♪ I'm fine ♪
520
00:48:29,645 --> 00:48:31,343
♪ Yeah, I'll be fine ♪
521
00:48:31,343 --> 00:48:33,954
♪ I wish you cared ♪
522
00:48:33,954 --> 00:48:35,347
♪ I'm fine ♪
523
00:48:35,347 --> 00:48:37,088
♪ Yeah, I'll be fine ♪
524
00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:39,438
♪ Don't worry about me
525
00:48:39,438 --> 00:48:41,048
♪ I'm fine ♪
526
00:48:41,048 --> 00:48:43,094
♪ Yeah, I'll be fine ♪
527
00:48:43,094 --> 00:48:45,792
♪ I wish you cared ♪
528
00:48:50,014 --> 00:48:51,363
It's perfect.
529
00:48:53,017 --> 00:48:56,542
It is just like that.
530
00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:58,936
You can't change anything
about it, not even the name.
531
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:00,328
Yeah?
532
00:49:00,328 --> 00:49:01,286
Promise?
533
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,419
Yeah, I promise.
534
00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:10,512
It's really fucking good.
535
00:49:10,512 --> 00:49:11,687
Thank you.
536
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,998
Is this your grandma?
537
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,130
Yeah.
538
00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:20,740
Yeah, that's my babushka.
539
00:49:20,740 --> 00:49:23,003
She was basically my mom.
540
00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:24,613
She raised me.
541
00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:30,663
What happened
with your parents?
542
00:49:30,663 --> 00:49:35,146
I know that you said
that your dad passed.
543
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,190
Yeah, yeah.
544
00:49:36,190 --> 00:49:38,192
My old man, he's gone.
545
00:49:38,192 --> 00:49:41,891
My mom, she's [Trenton
whistles] around.
546
00:49:43,502 --> 00:49:44,546
Walnut Creek.
547
00:49:46,287 --> 00:49:49,334
Yeah, yeah.
548
00:49:50,117 --> 00:49:52,424
Noted.
549
00:49:52,424 --> 00:49:54,426
But my baba, she
was everything to me.
550
00:49:54,426 --> 00:50:01,128
I mean, she was my friend, my
parent, my mentor, my teacher.
551
00:50:01,128 --> 00:50:03,739
She was more like a tutor
and did my homework for me.
552
00:50:06,264 --> 00:50:07,439
She was beautiful.
553
00:50:09,484 --> 00:50:12,313
I can see how much
she loves you.
554
00:50:14,576 --> 00:50:16,578
She was amazing.
555
00:50:16,578 --> 00:50:20,539
♪ I wanna get feeling ♪
556
00:50:20,539 --> 00:50:24,586
♪ When I'm feeling, don't
care about nothing babe ♪
557
00:50:24,586 --> 00:50:26,371
♪ I wanna get ♪
558
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:43,170
Wait, wait.
559
00:50:44,389 --> 00:50:46,217
Wait a second, wait.
560
00:50:46,217 --> 00:50:48,741
I just don't know that we
should go all the way right now,
561
00:50:48,741 --> 00:50:49,959
if we should do that.
562
00:50:49,959 --> 00:50:51,526
- Go all the way?
- Yeah.
563
00:50:51,526 --> 00:50:53,354
Is this middle school?
564
00:50:53,354 --> 00:50:57,054
No, no, just I really like you
565
00:50:57,054 --> 00:51:01,449
and I don't want to fuck
it up by going all the way.
566
00:51:03,364 --> 00:51:06,019
I just think that...
567
00:51:06,019 --> 00:51:08,282
I think maybe we should
just, you know...
568
00:51:08,282 --> 00:51:09,849
Hold hands, go steady?
569
00:51:09,849 --> 00:51:12,112
Yeah, talk and I could, sure.
570
00:51:12,112 --> 00:51:18,597
I could hold you or we could
just make out or whatever.
571
00:51:18,597 --> 00:51:21,034
I just don't wanna
fuck it up, you know?
572
00:51:23,428 --> 00:51:24,298
Yeah.
573
00:51:24,298 --> 00:51:26,822
Is that okay?
574
00:51:26,822 --> 00:51:27,954
It's not that I...
575
00:51:27,954 --> 00:51:29,434
Oh, shut up.
576
00:51:29,434 --> 00:51:31,610
Please don't make
me feel any worse.
577
00:51:33,264 --> 00:51:35,353
What is all of this?
578
00:51:37,442 --> 00:51:43,143
They're just thoughts,
ideas, some songs.
579
00:51:43,143 --> 00:51:44,927
One's 10/28.
580
00:51:44,927 --> 00:51:46,581
Well, you can
cross that one off.
581
00:51:46,581 --> 00:51:48,279
Well, yeah, I
could, but you know,
582
00:51:48,279 --> 00:51:51,543
I might leave it up now
just to remind me of you.
583
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:55,547
You know, a little memento.
584
00:51:55,547 --> 00:51:56,983
I can help you with that.
585
00:51:56,983 --> 00:51:57,984
Yeah, what you got?
586
00:51:57,984 --> 00:51:59,159
Let's see it.
587
00:52:00,378 --> 00:52:02,815
I am quite the artist.
588
00:52:02,815 --> 00:52:04,338
- Okay.
- If I do say so myself.
589
00:52:04,338 --> 00:52:06,775
I'm excited.
590
00:52:06,775 --> 00:52:08,429
We gotta get the hair.
591
00:52:10,170 --> 00:52:11,911
A little heart action.
592
00:52:13,782 --> 00:52:15,523
So what is that, exactly?
593
00:52:16,307 --> 00:52:17,743
What?
594
00:52:17,743 --> 00:52:19,266
I can't...
595
00:52:19,266 --> 00:52:21,094
- It's us.
- Oh, shit.
596
00:52:21,094 --> 00:52:22,704
That's super insulting.
597
00:52:22,704 --> 00:52:23,879
Yeah, no, no, I see it.
598
00:52:23,879 --> 00:52:24,967
Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
599
00:52:24,967 --> 00:52:26,143
No, no.
600
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:29,885
It's a little tiny, uh yeah.
601
00:52:29,885 --> 00:52:31,104
Now I see it.
602
00:52:31,104 --> 00:52:32,540
- Yeah.
- I get it, yeah.
603
00:52:32,540 --> 00:52:33,933
The proportions...
604
00:52:33,933 --> 00:52:35,152
Seem accurate.
605
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:36,240
Believe me, I felt down there.
606
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,067
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
607
00:52:38,067 --> 00:52:39,025
Little peepee.
608
00:52:39,025 --> 00:52:40,548
The small penis.
609
00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:41,549
And we're holding
hands, it's just like...
610
00:52:41,549 --> 00:52:44,030
Yeah, it's identical.
611
00:52:44,030 --> 00:52:45,379
Yeah, totally.
612
00:52:45,379 --> 00:52:47,903
Oh, you are an artist.
613
00:52:47,903 --> 00:52:49,166
Thank you for the drawing.
614
00:52:54,519 --> 00:52:57,478
Is that really what you
think my thing looks like?
615
00:52:57,478 --> 00:53:00,829
Mr. let's just talk
and I have a tiny penis.
616
00:53:00,829 --> 00:53:01,874
Oh, shit.
617
00:53:30,555 --> 00:53:31,643
I'm sorry.
618
00:53:40,304 --> 00:53:41,827
I'm really sorry.
619
00:53:45,613 --> 00:53:47,180
I'm sorry.
620
00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:48,137
No.
621
00:53:50,444 --> 00:53:52,707
Okay, it's been
really fucking tough.
622
00:53:54,970 --> 00:53:56,494
If you could just cut
me slack this one time.
623
00:53:56,494 --> 00:53:59,410
I'd really fucking
appreciate it.
624
00:54:02,326 --> 00:54:03,457
I really am sorry.
625
00:54:13,815 --> 00:54:15,295
Sorry.
626
00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:16,253
What happened?
627
00:54:19,995 --> 00:54:21,736
I lost my job for starters.
628
00:54:25,784 --> 00:54:28,090
Fuck them.
629
00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:29,962
You've got money,
you don't need work.
630
00:54:31,398 --> 00:54:33,139
Yeah.
631
00:54:33,139 --> 00:54:35,228
Yeah, you're right.
632
00:54:35,228 --> 00:54:38,144
It's exactly what I need.
633
00:54:38,144 --> 00:54:41,930
Just a lot of free time and
just me and my thoughts.
634
00:54:41,930 --> 00:54:45,586
You know, it's a great
idea, I like that.
635
00:54:45,586 --> 00:54:47,414
I didn't really think that
one all the way through.
636
00:54:47,414 --> 00:54:48,807
Yeah, I don't think so.
637
00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:53,072
Have you talked
to your sister?
638
00:54:54,203 --> 00:54:55,248
She won't answer.
639
00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:04,910
I thought she called
you back the other day.
640
00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:19,403
You should write to her.
641
00:55:19,403 --> 00:55:21,535
That way, you know, you get
to say what you wanna say.
642
00:55:28,847 --> 00:55:32,459
Yeah, I don't really
know what to say.
643
00:55:32,459 --> 00:55:33,852
Yeah, you fucking do.
644
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:43,383
Yeah, I guess I do.
645
00:55:52,218 --> 00:55:53,437
Stop.
646
00:56:05,579 --> 00:56:09,670
Oh, fuck.
647
00:57:31,970 --> 00:57:33,580
I'd never leave you.
648
00:57:33,580 --> 00:57:35,147
If you
wanna kill yourself,
649
00:57:35,147 --> 00:57:36,801
I'm not gonna
stand by and watch.
650
00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:41,762
No, no, no, no, no.
651
00:58:51,876 --> 00:58:54,182
So what's something
you've always wanted to do?
652
00:58:57,098 --> 00:59:00,711
Travel, it's a big one for me.
653
00:59:03,017 --> 00:59:04,541
Where do you want to go?
654
00:59:05,629 --> 00:59:06,543
Everywhere.
655
00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:09,154
Never been anywhere.
656
00:59:14,289 --> 00:59:15,160
What are you doing?
657
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,596
Up, let's go.
658
00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:17,510
What?
659
00:59:17,510 --> 00:59:18,555
Come on.
660
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:19,991
Where are we going?
661
00:59:19,991 --> 00:59:21,645
Going on an adventure
to everywhere.
662
01:00:12,565 --> 01:00:15,220
Always wondering what's going
on in that head of yours.
663
01:00:16,830 --> 01:00:20,312
You really wanna know
what I was thinking?
664
01:00:20,312 --> 01:00:21,530
Yeah, I do.
665
01:00:23,707 --> 01:00:24,882
It's scary.
666
01:00:26,318 --> 01:00:28,625
I like you as much
as I do right now
667
01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:31,366
because there is a chance
you won't like me back.
668
01:00:32,890 --> 01:00:35,283
Yeah, well,
I've been in love with you
669
01:00:35,283 --> 01:00:36,763
since the moment I saw you.
670
01:00:37,938 --> 01:00:39,548
You don't know me.
671
01:00:41,376 --> 01:00:42,769
I'm not easy to be with.
672
01:00:44,292 --> 01:00:47,948
I am moody and mean.
673
01:00:50,472 --> 01:00:55,564
And I have gotten so, so
good at fucking things up.
674
01:00:57,175 --> 01:00:59,220
Well, you don't
know me either.
675
01:00:59,220 --> 01:01:00,787
I'm a resilient motherfucker.
676
01:01:05,009 --> 01:01:07,402
Hey, let's play a game.
677
01:01:07,402 --> 01:01:09,578
Now, it's called
the honesty game.
678
01:01:09,578 --> 01:01:13,800
And we've gotta tell each
other the most fucked up,
679
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,673
shameful things that we've
ever done in our lives.
680
01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:17,891
You know, shit
that we'd normally
681
01:01:17,891 --> 01:01:19,153
try to hide from each other.
682
01:01:19,153 --> 01:01:20,459
I'm good actually, I think.
683
01:01:20,459 --> 01:01:21,547
Oh, come on, hear me out.
684
01:01:21,547 --> 01:01:24,071
It's fun!
685
01:01:24,071 --> 01:01:26,639
Look, look, we just cut
through the bullshit, right?
686
01:01:26,639 --> 01:01:31,731
And if we're still standing
at the end, give this a try.
687
01:01:32,863 --> 01:01:35,082
I mean, like a real fucking try.
688
01:01:38,869 --> 01:01:40,479
Proceed.
689
01:01:40,479 --> 01:01:41,436
Merci.
690
01:01:45,789 --> 01:01:46,746
What happened to your parents?
691
01:01:46,746 --> 01:01:47,878
That's so funny.
692
01:01:47,878 --> 01:01:49,270
I was actually just thinking
693
01:01:49,270 --> 01:01:50,489
that you should
probably go first
694
01:01:50,489 --> 01:01:51,664
'cause it's your fucking game.
695
01:01:51,664 --> 01:01:52,796
Ooh, touche.
696
01:01:55,581 --> 01:02:01,282
Why don't you
speak to your mother?
697
01:02:01,282 --> 01:02:03,023
Oof, good one.
698
01:02:05,634 --> 01:02:09,334
So my parents, they were
married happily for 19 years.
699
01:02:10,988 --> 01:02:14,818
And then when I was 11,
my dad got lung cancer.
700
01:02:14,818 --> 01:02:15,775
He died.
701
01:02:21,825 --> 01:02:24,305
My mom kind of got
lost after that.
702
01:02:24,305 --> 01:02:26,830
She was just sad all the time.
703
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:30,659
And then she met Dan.
704
01:02:30,659 --> 01:02:35,055
Dan called himself Dan
the motherfucking man.
705
01:02:35,055 --> 01:02:36,970
There wasn't a lot of
things that Dan liked.
706
01:02:36,970 --> 01:02:42,323
He didn't like kids, but
he did like hitting women.
707
01:02:42,323 --> 01:02:46,588
When I started to stand up to
him, that's when they left.
708
01:02:46,588 --> 01:02:49,678
And I moved in with my grandma.
709
01:02:49,678 --> 01:02:53,334
So my mom literally
chose abuse over me.
710
01:02:53,334 --> 01:02:56,468
Now she's trying
to reach out again
711
01:02:56,468 --> 01:02:59,558
and I've got nothing
to say to her,
712
01:02:59,558 --> 01:03:03,867
so I lost both my parents
the day my dad died.
713
01:03:07,609 --> 01:03:08,480
Sorry.
714
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:10,787
It's okay.
715
01:03:20,187 --> 01:03:21,667
Both my parents are dead.
716
01:03:24,888 --> 01:03:27,673
Mom died of a heroin
overdose when I was five.
717
01:03:30,676 --> 01:03:32,983
I don't know if it was
intentional or not.
718
01:03:32,983 --> 01:03:34,941
My dad did.
719
01:03:34,941 --> 01:03:39,250
But apparently he didn't think
that was useful information
720
01:03:39,250 --> 01:03:43,994
to tell me before he took
his own life 10 years ago.
721
01:03:47,214 --> 01:03:50,130
Is that what
you were afraid to tell me?
722
01:03:50,130 --> 01:03:53,917
No, I said I'm just like him.
723
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,617
So you tried to kill yourself?
724
01:03:59,574 --> 01:04:00,488
Yep.
725
01:04:02,012 --> 01:04:02,926
Why?
726
01:04:06,538 --> 01:04:07,452
I don't know.
727
01:04:12,152 --> 01:04:15,939
I was going through a breakup
with my ex that was messy,
728
01:04:19,072 --> 01:04:20,595
but I had wanted to do it
729
01:04:20,595 --> 01:04:22,597
for a really long
time before that.
730
01:04:24,164 --> 01:04:27,341
Why do you think
you were so unhappy?
731
01:04:34,609 --> 01:04:40,920
I used to say it was
because I'm an artist.
732
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,316
I had to stay in these deep
dark places to create my art,
733
01:04:47,405 --> 01:04:50,147
but I don't make art anymore.
734
01:04:50,147 --> 01:04:54,934
So I think that might've
been bullshit too.
735
01:04:57,981 --> 01:05:00,809
Maybe it really does just
come down to my mom and dad.
736
01:05:03,508 --> 01:05:05,771
Finding my dad that
way didn't help.
737
01:05:08,730 --> 01:05:09,862
You found your dad?
738
01:05:13,561 --> 01:05:14,736
Shotgun to the head.
739
01:05:17,870 --> 01:05:22,744
I was right upstairs,
so he knew I'd find him.
740
01:05:26,139 --> 01:05:28,359
I was barefoot when
I came running in.
741
01:05:31,753 --> 01:05:34,060
I'll never forget that
feeling under my feet.
742
01:05:39,544 --> 01:05:43,026
Wow, I'm really sorry, Dean.
743
01:05:47,769 --> 01:05:52,861
It's funny, it's like once
it's a thought in your head,
744
01:05:55,299 --> 01:05:56,430
it's always there.
745
01:05:58,215 --> 01:06:02,349
Like an alcoholic is
always gonna want a drink.
746
01:06:04,699 --> 01:06:06,440
And a girl with bulimia
is always gonna think
747
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:09,226
about running off to the
bathroom after a steak dinner.
748
01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:18,583
But with sadness, it just
has its way of creeping in,
749
01:06:18,583 --> 01:06:20,454
even over the smallest things.
750
01:06:22,500 --> 01:06:25,111
Bad day, kill yourself.
751
01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:30,812
Heartbroken, kill yourself.
752
01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:35,208
Parking ticket, kill yourself.
753
01:06:39,734 --> 01:06:40,648
Fuck.
754
01:06:42,172 --> 01:06:45,436
I have so many parking tickets.
755
01:06:51,790 --> 01:06:56,142
Did they hold you in
the hospital after?
756
01:06:58,405 --> 01:07:00,755
Yeah.
757
01:07:00,755 --> 01:07:03,193
Life's definitely been
interesting ever since.
758
01:07:03,193 --> 01:07:09,547
I'll give it that,
but to be honest,
759
01:07:09,547 --> 01:07:13,029
I'm still pretty
fucking embarrassed.
760
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:20,297
Like when you fail,
761
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:25,954
you have to look the people
on the face that you hurt.
762
01:07:30,133 --> 01:07:31,699
And I don't know what to say.
763
01:07:34,267 --> 01:07:38,271
I think you just gotta
tell 'em straight up
764
01:07:39,925 --> 01:07:41,057
like you just told me.
765
01:07:43,015 --> 01:07:46,410
It's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
766
01:07:46,410 --> 01:07:50,588
Some people just feel
more deeply than others.
767
01:07:54,853 --> 01:07:55,767
Did I win?
768
01:07:58,074 --> 01:08:00,119
Yeah, that one
point from two point.
769
01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:01,599
Yeah, you won the game.
770
01:08:01,599 --> 01:08:04,036
Yeah, congratulations champ.
771
01:08:06,952 --> 01:08:07,909
Yeah.
772
01:08:18,572 --> 01:08:21,662
This is why I wanted that
night to be different.
773
01:08:21,662 --> 01:08:24,100
I'm sure that's what a
lot of guys want from you,
774
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:25,449
but I want you.
775
01:08:28,408 --> 01:08:30,584
Every single part of you.
776
01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:39,376
♪ We'll cut our teeth ♪
777
01:08:40,420 --> 01:08:45,121
♪ May the day stay sweet ♪
778
01:08:46,252 --> 01:08:49,995
♪ May your steady heart bea t ♪
779
01:08:49,995 --> 01:08:55,087
♪ Be the good in me ♪
780
01:08:55,957 --> 01:08:58,438
♪ The good in me ♪
781
01:09:11,756 --> 01:09:14,106
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
782
01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:27,163
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
783
01:09:32,037 --> 01:09:36,128
♪ You fed me reason ♪
784
01:09:36,128 --> 01:09:41,220
♪ Just like I taught you to ♪
785
01:09:42,265 --> 01:09:46,834
♪ Brought the wooden cu p ♪
786
01:09:47,618 --> 01:09:52,623
♪ To my mouth ♪
787
01:09:53,406 --> 01:09:55,495
♪ And I drank ♪
788
01:09:58,629 --> 01:09:59,847
Who are those sexy women?
789
01:09:59,847 --> 01:10:01,197
Who are the sexy women?
790
01:10:03,851 --> 01:10:05,244
Oh my God, oh my.
791
01:10:07,159 --> 01:10:08,552
Oh, I missed you.
792
01:10:08,552 --> 01:10:09,596
Miss you.
793
01:10:14,166 --> 01:10:15,776
You love my friend.
794
01:10:15,776 --> 01:10:17,169
Yeah, I really do.
795
01:10:17,169 --> 01:10:19,780
Yeah.
796
01:10:19,780 --> 01:10:23,044
And you're aware of where
I was just released from?
797
01:10:23,044 --> 01:10:24,655
I am.
798
01:10:24,655 --> 01:10:26,396
Okay.
799
01:10:26,396 --> 01:10:27,919
And they've explained
that Taryn was a resident
800
01:10:27,919 --> 01:10:29,790
of this fine
establishment as well?
801
01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:34,055
Yes, indeed they have.
802
01:10:34,055 --> 01:10:35,753
So you understand
that if you hurt her,
803
01:10:35,753 --> 01:10:37,842
we will fucking kill you.
804
01:10:37,842 --> 01:10:39,017
Oh, shit.
805
01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:40,801
Fully aware.
806
01:10:43,804 --> 01:10:44,936
Put your arms around me.
807
01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:47,243
I haven't felt a man in months!
808
01:11:40,513 --> 01:11:42,123
One, two, three!
809
01:11:52,656 --> 01:11:54,179
Thank you.
810
01:11:54,179 --> 01:11:55,702
You're just using
me for my cooking.
811
01:11:55,702 --> 01:11:57,182
I kinda like this.
812
01:11:57,182 --> 01:11:58,575
Oh, and your money.
813
01:11:58,575 --> 01:12:00,185
Don't forget that.
814
01:12:00,185 --> 01:12:01,404
It's been real nice not
paying for anything.
815
01:12:01,404 --> 01:12:03,144
Wow.
816
01:12:03,144 --> 01:12:04,537
You know I love you.
817
01:12:04,537 --> 01:12:06,322
Nope, don't believe you.
818
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:07,235
You don't believe me?
819
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:08,411
Nope.
820
01:12:08,411 --> 01:12:10,064
Okay.
821
01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:12,589
Excuse me, everyone here!
822
01:12:12,589 --> 01:12:14,112
I would like you all to know
823
01:12:14,112 --> 01:12:16,593
how much I love
this beautiful man.
824
01:12:16,593 --> 01:12:19,073
Well endowed, monster in the-
825
01:12:25,253 --> 01:12:28,213
♪ I was broken ♪
826
01:12:28,213 --> 01:12:29,257
You sure?
827
01:12:31,259 --> 01:12:36,352
♪ No voice, a choice
could be trusted ♪
828
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:41,618
♪ Hope for me was a lie ♪
829
01:12:41,618 --> 01:12:46,753
♪ Just another reason to cr y ♪
830
01:12:48,625 --> 01:12:53,673
♪ Lost I must confess ♪
831
01:12:54,761 --> 01:12:59,157
♪ Taking up space at best ♪
832
01:13:02,465 --> 01:13:07,557
♪ No guiding light through
the darkness inside ♪
833
01:13:08,775 --> 01:13:13,519
♪ And longing to
lay it to rest ♪
834
01:13:15,782 --> 01:13:20,004
♪ But everything
looks so different ♪
835
01:13:20,004 --> 01:13:25,096
♪ When you step
out of the dark ♪
836
01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:28,229
♪ You showed me rock bottom ♪
837
01:13:28,229 --> 01:13:32,843
♪ Could be a beautiful
place to start ♪
838
01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:59,609
You're so beautiful.
839
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:15,625
Hi.
840
01:14:15,625 --> 01:14:18,192
Jesus fucking Christ.
841
01:14:22,283 --> 01:14:25,722
I'm glad you found
God in these dark times.
842
01:14:30,553 --> 01:14:33,381
I was gonna write you back,
but I ended up on a plane.
843
01:14:41,302 --> 01:14:44,784
I go through day after day
with this crippling fear.
844
01:14:50,964 --> 01:14:52,923
I just keep up the status quo
845
01:14:52,923 --> 01:14:55,142
because that's what
I'm supposed to do.
846
01:14:56,709 --> 01:14:59,320
I'm supposed to be
the together one,
847
01:15:02,889 --> 01:15:04,587
but I'm not together.
848
01:15:11,376 --> 01:15:14,074
I want a baby so bad.
849
01:15:15,554 --> 01:15:16,816
It's all I want.
850
01:15:19,471 --> 01:15:20,907
But I have this...
851
01:15:23,736 --> 01:15:25,564
The thought of postpartum.
852
01:15:30,090 --> 01:15:31,657
What if I fuck up?
853
01:15:32,876 --> 01:15:34,921
What if I'm not a good mom?
854
01:15:37,054 --> 01:15:38,925
I am not a good sister.
855
01:15:38,925 --> 01:15:40,579
How the fuck am I
gonna be a good mom?
856
01:15:40,579 --> 01:15:42,146
That is not true.
857
01:15:42,146 --> 01:15:43,887
I failed you, Dean.
858
01:15:43,887 --> 01:15:47,455
That is not true.
859
01:15:47,455 --> 01:15:49,109
When I was laying on
that bathroom floor,
860
01:15:49,109 --> 01:15:53,157
all I could think about was you.
861
01:15:53,157 --> 01:15:57,683
I kept praying if somehow I
made it, I could fix this.
862
01:16:01,687 --> 01:16:05,169
All I felt in those last
moments were regret.
863
01:16:05,169 --> 01:16:07,824
And it was terrifying.
864
01:16:11,654 --> 01:16:14,352
I can't go through it again.
865
01:16:19,487 --> 01:16:20,967
I'm so scared.
866
01:16:23,056 --> 01:16:26,843
It will kill me if you die.
867
01:16:28,845 --> 01:16:31,021
I'm not going anywhere.
868
01:16:39,725 --> 01:16:44,817
You know that, I can't even
picture her face anymore.
869
01:16:48,429 --> 01:16:51,084
I try to recall details,
870
01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:56,220
but all I have really are the
things that you've told me.
871
01:17:01,094 --> 01:17:04,445
And now, every time
I picture his face,
872
01:17:08,058 --> 01:17:09,799
it's how I found him that night.
873
01:17:14,934 --> 01:17:17,415
Sometimes it feels like
they didn't even exist.
874
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:26,380
I see her every
time I look at you.
875
01:17:27,860 --> 01:17:30,950
You look exactly like her.
876
01:17:35,259 --> 01:17:38,479
I miss them too,
but I miss you more.
877
01:17:44,050 --> 01:17:46,792
What if I moved?
878
01:17:46,792 --> 01:17:48,446
What if I moved
to San Francisco?
879
01:17:51,971 --> 01:17:53,930
What about your life here?
880
01:17:56,410 --> 01:17:59,239
I would go if
you would let me.
881
01:18:28,573 --> 01:18:29,617
Jackson, stop.
882
01:18:31,924 --> 01:18:32,838
Jackson!
883
01:18:34,666 --> 01:18:35,841
Please stop!
884
01:18:40,367 --> 01:18:42,413
I know what that must
have done to you,
885
01:18:43,806 --> 01:18:45,285
finding me like that.
886
01:18:47,113 --> 01:18:52,205
You are the most
gentle, kind man I know.
887
01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:56,862
And I know that that
must have destroyed you.
888
01:19:00,648 --> 01:19:01,737
I'm sorry.
889
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:02,607
I know why you're here.
890
01:19:03,782 --> 01:19:05,218
You want closure and forgiveness
891
01:19:05,218 --> 01:19:06,785
and I can't give that to you.
892
01:19:07,830 --> 01:19:09,396
I can't.
893
01:19:09,396 --> 01:19:13,923
I know that you have
no reason to believe me,
894
01:19:15,098 --> 01:19:16,273
but I've changed.
895
01:19:18,318 --> 01:19:19,232
I have.
896
01:19:20,930 --> 01:19:24,150
I have friends and family.
897
01:19:26,892 --> 01:19:29,503
I'm moving to be with my sister,
898
01:19:29,503 --> 01:19:33,943
and I'm in a healthy relationship.
899
01:19:33,943 --> 01:19:35,379
For the first time in my life,
900
01:19:35,379 --> 01:19:37,163
I haven't fucked something up.
901
01:19:39,078 --> 01:19:40,036
I'm better.
902
01:19:41,124 --> 01:19:42,821
I'm doing better.
903
01:19:42,821 --> 01:19:46,912
How many times did we
go on this rollercoaster?
904
01:19:46,912 --> 01:19:49,567
You would sell me on how
you were getting better,
905
01:19:49,567 --> 01:19:53,571
how you were gonna change
and you would give me hope
906
01:19:53,571 --> 01:19:55,268
that things were
going to be different,
907
01:19:55,268 --> 01:19:58,750
and then you would throw
everything you had at me!
908
01:20:00,317 --> 01:20:01,840
I tried.
909
01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:04,495
I tried even when
you stopped trying.
910
01:20:04,495 --> 01:20:07,672
I tried for you, I did.
911
01:20:09,892 --> 01:20:13,417
So I hope it is different.
912
01:20:13,417 --> 01:20:17,638
I hope it is different because
if it's not, then let him go.
913
01:20:19,292 --> 01:20:22,948
Because after you, I'm
never the same, ever.
914
01:20:50,715 --> 01:20:52,195
Baby.
915
01:20:53,674 --> 01:20:55,241
The fuck are you doing here?
916
01:20:57,243 --> 01:20:58,244
You okay?
917
01:20:59,115 --> 01:21:00,551
What's going on?
918
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:03,771
Dean?
919
01:21:08,733 --> 01:21:10,996
What are
you doing here?
920
01:21:10,996 --> 01:21:14,826
I told you I'd
come over after work.
921
01:21:14,826 --> 01:21:15,958
You okay?
922
01:21:15,958 --> 01:21:18,699
Get the fuck out of my house.
923
01:21:18,699 --> 01:21:20,223
Excuse me?
924
01:21:20,223 --> 01:21:21,572
Get the fuck out
of my fucking house.
925
01:21:21,572 --> 01:21:22,747
Babe, what's going on?
926
01:21:22,747 --> 01:21:24,444
Get the fuck out of my house!
927
01:21:24,444 --> 01:21:25,489
Why are you...
928
01:21:25,489 --> 01:21:27,839
Why are you here?
929
01:21:27,839 --> 01:21:29,928
Babe, calm down.
930
01:21:29,928 --> 01:21:30,886
What the fuck is going on?
931
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:32,496
What's the matter?
932
01:21:32,496 --> 01:21:33,845
Get out of here!
933
01:21:33,845 --> 01:21:34,890
What is going on?
934
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:35,847
Get outta my house!
935
01:21:35,847 --> 01:21:36,979
Why?
936
01:21:36,979 --> 01:21:38,763
Because I don't want you here.
937
01:21:38,763 --> 01:21:40,983
- What the fuck happened?
- I don't want you here!
938
01:21:40,983 --> 01:21:43,202
Who said you could be in here?
939
01:21:43,202 --> 01:21:44,160
Babe, it's okay.
940
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:45,596
Don't touch me!
941
01:21:45,596 --> 01:21:46,727
Get out of my house!
942
01:21:46,727 --> 01:21:47,685
Babe.
943
01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:49,121
I don't want you
944
01:21:49,121 --> 01:21:50,253
in my fucking house.
- I heard you.
945
01:21:50,253 --> 01:21:51,689
What is going on?
946
01:21:51,689 --> 01:21:53,517
Then why are
you standing here?
947
01:21:53,517 --> 01:21:55,301
Why, do you get off on it?
948
01:21:55,301 --> 01:21:56,302
Babe, explain.
949
01:21:56,302 --> 01:21:58,174
What do you want?
950
01:21:58,174 --> 01:21:59,871
Do you want me to fucking
cut myself in front of you?
951
01:21:59,871 --> 01:22:00,785
Is this what you're into?
952
01:22:00,785 --> 01:22:01,786
Baby, no.
953
01:22:01,786 --> 01:22:03,005
You fucking sick fuck.
954
01:22:03,005 --> 01:22:05,094
No one wants you here.
955
01:22:05,094 --> 01:22:06,182
No one!
956
01:22:07,183 --> 01:22:08,575
Go.
957
01:22:08,575 --> 01:22:09,533
Go!
958
01:22:11,230 --> 01:22:12,362
Fuck you, go.
959
01:22:16,235 --> 01:22:18,107
What, do you get off on this?
960
01:22:18,107 --> 01:22:20,370
Get the fuck out of my house.
961
01:22:21,762 --> 01:22:23,939
No one wants you
around, you hear me?
962
01:22:23,939 --> 01:22:26,550
Not even your own fucking mama.
963
01:22:28,552 --> 01:22:31,163
This was just a fuck.
964
01:22:31,163 --> 01:22:34,297
Get out of my-
965
01:22:37,256 --> 01:22:38,823
If you're gonna do it,
966
01:22:38,823 --> 01:22:40,216
fucking do it like
you fucking mean it!
967
01:22:41,304 --> 01:22:42,827
Do it like you mean it!
968
01:22:43,741 --> 01:22:45,308
Go!
969
01:22:45,308 --> 01:22:46,526
I know you.
970
01:22:46,526 --> 01:22:48,180
I fucking know you.
971
01:22:48,180 --> 01:22:49,312
You wanna self-destruct.
972
01:22:49,312 --> 01:22:51,009
You don't want me around?
973
01:22:51,009 --> 01:22:52,489
Just say the word, Dean.
974
01:22:52,489 --> 01:22:54,099
You just say the fucking word.
975
01:22:56,710 --> 01:22:57,624
Go.
976
01:23:01,585 --> 01:23:02,499
Go.
977
01:23:12,857 --> 01:23:14,685
Shut the door, bitch!
978
01:23:14,685 --> 01:23:16,643
Shut the fucking door!
979
01:23:20,386 --> 01:23:21,909
Go!
980
01:24:30,761 --> 01:24:31,849
I need help.
981
01:24:34,808 --> 01:24:39,900
I don't wanna fuck things
up like I always do.
982
01:24:43,730 --> 01:24:44,644
Here you go.
983
01:24:46,429 --> 01:24:47,343
Thanks.
984
01:24:49,867 --> 01:24:51,564
Did I wake anyone else up?
985
01:24:53,566 --> 01:24:54,480
It's just me.
986
01:24:58,397 --> 01:24:59,355
What happened?
987
01:25:05,491 --> 01:25:06,710
Are you sober?
988
01:25:06,710 --> 01:25:07,667
Yep.
989
01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:11,715
I have three years.
990
01:25:15,501 --> 01:25:18,417
That's a much lower number
than I would've expected.
991
01:25:22,291 --> 01:25:24,815
Why did you choose to
come here tonight, Dean?
992
01:25:28,166 --> 01:25:29,515
That's a good question.
993
01:25:31,822 --> 01:25:36,914
All this time, I thought that
they both killed themselves.
994
01:25:42,702 --> 01:25:44,704
Then I found this.
995
01:25:52,973 --> 01:25:54,845
"I never know the proper
way to talk about her
996
01:25:54,845 --> 01:25:57,152
and it's not fair to you both.
997
01:26:01,199 --> 01:26:04,724
She was trying to
quit, but she couldn't.
998
01:26:04,724 --> 01:26:06,813
She was the one who
was good at this.
999
01:26:08,902 --> 01:26:10,556
She was meant to be a mother.
1000
01:26:12,819 --> 01:26:14,821
Sorry I wasn't better.
1001
01:26:14,821 --> 01:26:16,780
I'd trade places
with her if I could.
1002
01:26:18,347 --> 01:26:20,697
I wish I was strong
enough to carry on,
1003
01:26:20,697 --> 01:26:22,220
but I hope you'll continue.
1004
01:26:24,266 --> 01:26:25,180
I love you.
1005
01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:26,181
I love you both."
1006
01:26:30,097 --> 01:26:32,187
Do you know how long
I looked for that?
1007
01:26:34,711 --> 01:26:39,803
Every jacket, every drawer,
every place that we used to go.
1008
01:26:42,284 --> 01:26:45,809
Even places that
didn't make sense.
1009
01:26:47,985 --> 01:26:51,597
I couldn't accept that he
didn't even say goodbye.
1010
01:26:54,731 --> 01:26:56,646
Would you rather
have not found it?
1011
01:26:59,301 --> 01:27:00,215
No.
1012
01:27:03,609 --> 01:27:07,222
I'd rather have a mother here,
1013
01:27:09,441 --> 01:27:14,533
rather have a father alive
telling me this shit.
1014
01:27:16,361 --> 01:27:20,452
What I don't want is writing
on the back of a picture
1015
01:27:23,238 --> 01:27:26,153
that means nothing.
1016
01:27:29,113 --> 01:27:34,205
No closure, no
explanation, nothing.
1017
01:27:37,643 --> 01:27:39,254
I know it hurts.
1018
01:27:41,952 --> 01:27:43,997
But this is what
you've always wanted.
1019
01:27:43,997 --> 01:27:46,739
That's what I've
always wanted?
1020
01:27:46,739 --> 01:27:49,220
Is that what I've always wanted?
1021
01:27:50,482 --> 01:27:52,310
No!
1022
01:27:52,310 --> 01:27:56,836
Actually, what I wanted was
parents or to feel normal.
1023
01:27:59,361 --> 01:28:03,930
Do you know what I would
give to feel normal?
1024
01:28:03,930 --> 01:28:07,238
What I don't want is
a bunch of writing
1025
01:28:07,238 --> 01:28:11,982
on the back of the only fucking
memento I have of my mom,
1026
01:28:11,982 --> 01:28:16,552
the only way that I remember
what she even looks like,
1027
01:28:16,552 --> 01:28:20,860
because he's too big
of a coward to tell me!
1028
01:28:20,860 --> 01:28:26,431
He couldn't just tell me that
to my face and not do it.
1029
01:28:26,431 --> 01:28:28,085
Dean,
you are so strong.
1030
01:28:28,085 --> 01:28:31,044
Why are you so
convinced I am strong?
1031
01:28:32,045 --> 01:28:35,484
You don't know me!
1032
01:28:35,484 --> 01:28:37,486
I know that you're just the
product of your surroundings,
1033
01:28:39,357 --> 01:28:42,360
that none of your issues
are actually your own,
1034
01:28:42,360 --> 01:28:45,842
that you'd actually be fine
1035
01:28:45,842 --> 01:28:50,586
if you could just let
go and forgive yourself.
1036
01:28:50,586 --> 01:28:52,762
You could not have
saved him, Dean.
1037
01:28:54,416 --> 01:28:57,810
You sit in your
fancy fucking house
1038
01:28:57,810 --> 01:29:00,552
with your pretty life
and your pretty things.
1039
01:29:00,552 --> 01:29:04,034
You know nothing about what
it's like to feel like this!
1040
01:29:04,034 --> 01:29:08,168
Do you think that you're the
only person who knows loss?
1041
01:29:08,168 --> 01:29:09,735
Huh?
1042
01:29:09,735 --> 01:29:12,390
My son died at 15.
1043
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:16,394
He took his own life with
pills from my medicine cabinet.
1044
01:29:16,394 --> 01:29:19,179
I gave him the weapon
to end his life.
1045
01:29:21,094 --> 01:29:26,012
I'm the only one to blame
and I didn't fucking see it.
1046
01:29:26,012 --> 01:29:30,277
It's my fucking job and I
didn't see it in my own son.
1047
01:29:30,277 --> 01:29:33,803
So don't you dare tell me that
I don't know what it's like.
1048
01:29:35,587 --> 01:29:37,372
I drank myself to
death for years
1049
01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:40,897
before I could muster a
day without him sober.
1050
01:29:42,464 --> 01:29:47,382
I lost husband,
myself, my family.
1051
01:29:49,645 --> 01:29:50,907
Why did he do it?
1052
01:29:53,866 --> 01:29:55,390
Why does it matter?
1053
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:59,524
We'll never be able
to ask them why.
1054
01:30:01,091 --> 01:30:02,005
They're gone.
1055
01:30:04,486 --> 01:30:07,184
I love my little boy
more than life itself.
1056
01:30:08,272 --> 01:30:09,839
And every single day
1057
01:30:09,839 --> 01:30:13,973
I breathe on this planet
without him hurts.
1058
01:30:13,973 --> 01:30:17,760
I feel it in every
single breath.
1059
01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:22,808
But I refuse to give up because
that is what survivors do.
1060
01:30:22,808 --> 01:30:26,029
They fight and they save
everyone they can along the way.
1061
01:30:28,466 --> 01:30:30,425
So what are you, Dean?
1062
01:30:32,035 --> 01:30:33,384
I don't know.
1063
01:30:36,256 --> 01:30:37,388
Yes, you do.
1064
01:30:37,388 --> 01:30:38,650
- No, I don't.
- Yes.
1065
01:30:38,650 --> 01:30:40,130
- I don't know!
- Yes, you do.
1066
01:30:40,130 --> 01:30:41,479
I don't know.
1067
01:31:07,287 --> 01:31:08,767
I know what I'm supposed to say.
1068
01:31:08,767 --> 01:31:10,421
I know I'm supposed
to say I am sorry,
1069
01:31:10,421 --> 01:31:12,858
but it doesn't feel
like it means enough.
1070
01:31:12,858 --> 01:31:14,817
God, I fucked up so bad.
1071
01:31:17,559 --> 01:31:21,171
I can't forgive myself for
what I said about your mom,
1072
01:31:23,129 --> 01:31:26,742
and it wasn't true obviously.
1073
01:31:31,529 --> 01:31:32,661
I'm so sorry.
1074
01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:42,409
Okay.
1075
01:31:47,371 --> 01:31:48,285
I know.
1076
01:31:52,594 --> 01:31:53,986
You know my mom,
1077
01:31:59,339 --> 01:32:03,169
she's dying and I'm not
ready to forgive her,
1078
01:32:10,655 --> 01:32:14,833
not in my life time, but
I don't know what to do.
1079
01:32:17,923 --> 01:32:19,055
Once they're gone,
1080
01:32:20,796 --> 01:32:24,451
there will be a million
things that you wanna say.
1081
01:32:25,888 --> 01:32:27,454
So many times I
pick up the phone
1082
01:32:27,454 --> 01:32:29,108
and I don't even
know who to call
1083
01:32:29,108 --> 01:32:31,067
when there's good news
and there's bad news,
1084
01:32:31,067 --> 01:32:36,115
and I would hate that
to happen to you.
1085
01:32:36,115 --> 01:32:38,074
You have a fucking chance.
1086
01:32:40,076 --> 01:32:41,251
I would kill for that.
1087
01:32:49,389 --> 01:32:50,347
I'm sorry.
1088
01:32:56,396 --> 01:33:00,618
I'd come home just
to masturbate.
1089
01:33:00,618 --> 01:33:02,968
I was trying to shield
her from the depravity.
1090
01:33:12,195 --> 01:33:15,807
I'm moving to San Francisco.
1091
01:33:19,289 --> 01:33:24,381
And I know you guys
have your lives here
1092
01:33:26,688 --> 01:33:28,603
and I can't expect you
just to leave them,
1093
01:33:28,603 --> 01:33:33,651
but I really wish you
would 'cause I think
1094
01:33:35,697 --> 01:33:40,745
that we could all be really
happy there together.
1095
01:33:46,708 --> 01:33:49,754
Hey, wherever you go, I go.
1096
01:33:53,715 --> 01:33:54,629
You sure?
1097
01:33:56,108 --> 01:33:57,936
I'm sure.
1098
01:34:06,510 --> 01:34:08,294
Maybe we can go
to Walnut Creek.
1099
01:34:09,513 --> 01:34:10,862
I know.
1100
01:34:10,862 --> 01:34:13,299
Is this like a
"Sister Wives," or?
1101
01:34:15,301 --> 01:34:17,216
It's like more like
"Three's Company."
1102
01:34:17,216 --> 01:34:18,174
Jesus.
1103
01:34:19,654 --> 01:34:20,567
I gotta smoke.
1104
01:34:36,366 --> 01:34:37,759
San Francisco.
1105
01:34:40,239 --> 01:34:41,588
Have you ever been?
1106
01:34:45,288 --> 01:34:46,289
Does Taryn know?
1107
01:34:48,987 --> 01:34:50,641
I called her 30 times.
1108
01:34:52,164 --> 01:34:53,731
And I plan to ask her as well.
1109
01:34:59,868 --> 01:35:01,347
How are we gonna afford it?
1110
01:35:04,394 --> 01:35:05,743
Let me worry about that.
1111
01:35:07,789 --> 01:35:12,271
Oh, so okay, now you're
going to use that money.
1112
01:35:13,490 --> 01:35:16,711
My God, the money.
1113
01:35:18,625 --> 01:35:20,018
Do you know why I
have that money?
1114
01:35:20,018 --> 01:35:21,803
Because you're fucking rich.
1115
01:35:21,803 --> 01:35:23,282
Because I'm a rich bitch.
1116
01:35:25,937 --> 01:35:29,811
Yeah, no, I was actually
super fucking poor growing up.
1117
01:35:29,811 --> 01:35:34,337
Me and Bennett shared a
room for most of our lives,
1118
01:35:34,337 --> 01:35:39,298
but my dad took out a giant
life insurance policy.
1119
01:35:40,430 --> 01:35:42,693
And then three days from the day
1120
01:35:42,693 --> 01:35:47,654
that the suicide clause
expired, he took his own life.
1121
01:35:50,092 --> 01:35:52,790
So rather than talking
to me or getting help
1122
01:35:52,790 --> 01:35:57,926
or doing bad things,
he waited to do it.
1123
01:36:02,234 --> 01:36:04,846
So I don't want his
fucking blood money.
1124
01:36:06,804 --> 01:36:13,593
But I would use it if it meant
that I got to be with you
1125
01:36:13,593 --> 01:36:16,901
and that we got to be happy and
all of us could be together.
1126
01:36:19,208 --> 01:36:25,431
You and I both pretend
we don't need anybody,
1127
01:36:25,431 --> 01:36:30,219
but it is complete
bullshit because I need you
1128
01:36:35,006 --> 01:36:38,140
and I am not afraid to tell
you that I really need you.
1129
01:36:40,098 --> 01:36:42,797
And I think that
you need me too.
1130
01:36:48,237 --> 01:36:49,455
Put your arms up.
1131
01:36:52,067 --> 01:36:53,024
Oh my goodness.
1132
01:36:53,024 --> 01:36:54,504
You're soaring.
1133
01:36:54,504 --> 01:36:55,592
I'm flying!
1134
01:36:55,592 --> 01:36:56,811
I'm jacking this.
1135
01:36:57,855 --> 01:36:58,900
Oh, a cigarette!
1136
01:36:58,900 --> 01:37:00,510
Oh, goddamn.
1137
01:37:00,510 --> 01:37:01,859
What if I fuck it up?
1138
01:37:03,600 --> 01:37:05,471
I'll fuck it up first.
1139
01:37:07,822 --> 01:37:09,824
You will, you will fuck it up.
1140
01:37:10,912 --> 01:37:12,827
And so will I, I'm sure.
1141
01:37:14,263 --> 01:37:15,525
super good.
1142
01:37:36,807 --> 01:37:38,069
Bria, what the fuck is going on?
1143
01:37:44,989 --> 01:37:45,903
How'd she do it?
1144
01:38:05,705 --> 01:38:07,403
I looked around that room today.
1145
01:38:09,318 --> 01:38:12,843
All I saw were people
that loved her.
1146
01:38:12,843 --> 01:38:17,804
We're all so convinced
that no one cares,
1147
01:38:17,804 --> 01:38:20,633
but every face in
that room was crushed.
1148
01:38:22,505 --> 01:38:26,509
Suicide destroys everyone's
life who surrounds it.
1149
01:38:26,509 --> 01:38:27,510
Not yours.
1150
01:38:27,510 --> 01:38:29,294
No, you're gone.
1151
01:38:31,209 --> 01:38:34,473
Someone in that room, they
had to find her that way.
1152
01:38:36,736 --> 01:38:38,738
It's just a vicious
fucking cycle.
1153
01:38:38,738 --> 01:38:40,958
And every time we do
it, we make it more
1154
01:38:40,958 --> 01:38:43,221
and more acceptable to
the people around us.
1155
01:38:43,221 --> 01:38:45,441
But it's not, it's not okay.
1156
01:38:51,664 --> 01:38:53,057
How do we fix it?
1157
01:39:00,630 --> 01:39:01,544
Live.
1158
01:39:03,676 --> 01:39:08,725
We suffer and we work
shitty fucking jobs
1159
01:39:13,730 --> 01:39:18,430
and live average normal lives.
1160
01:39:21,738 --> 01:39:24,001
And we get old and fat.
1161
01:39:25,263 --> 01:39:26,786
We go through menopause.
1162
01:39:29,964 --> 01:39:33,097
At least we're alive
and we're together.
1163
01:39:35,534 --> 01:39:36,971
At least we didn't give up.
1164
01:39:39,669 --> 01:39:44,761
It's a much scarier
choice to choose to live.
1165
01:39:48,330 --> 01:39:49,635
Giving up is easy.
1166
01:39:57,556 --> 01:39:59,950
Sounds fucking terrible.
1167
01:40:01,256 --> 01:40:02,170
I'm game.
1168
01:40:16,749 --> 01:40:21,580
I have daydreams about
marriage, babies, future,
1169
01:40:27,108 --> 01:40:31,242
all these things
that I never thought
1170
01:40:31,242 --> 01:40:32,809
I'd live long enough to see.
1171
01:40:37,422 --> 01:40:38,641
You as a mother.
1172
01:40:42,384 --> 01:40:43,733
I would love to see that.
1173
01:40:53,221 --> 01:40:57,573
I wanted you to know
that you saved my life.
1174
01:40:59,923 --> 01:41:02,882
I didn't realize how
much I wanted someone
1175
01:41:02,882 --> 01:41:07,713
to do that for me, to care
about me enough to help me,
1176
01:41:10,151 --> 01:41:12,588
as much as I hated
you for doing it.
1177
01:41:12,588 --> 01:41:14,024
I didn't make it easy.
1178
01:41:17,984 --> 01:41:20,683
I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you.
1179
01:41:25,122 --> 01:41:26,863
I'm genuinely happy.
1180
01:41:29,474 --> 01:41:32,956
Obviously not all
day, not every day.
1181
01:41:32,956 --> 01:41:38,092
You know, life's not perfect,
but it's getting there.
1182
01:41:43,488 --> 01:41:47,013
God, if you had told me that
my life would look like this
1183
01:41:47,013 --> 01:41:51,714
a year ago, I would've told
you you do need to be sober.
1184
01:41:58,242 --> 01:42:02,507
I'm just so in
love with my life.
1185
01:42:09,514 --> 01:42:12,517
It's the only word that
keeps coming to my mind.
1186
01:42:13,475 --> 01:42:14,606
Love, love.
1187
01:42:16,739 --> 01:42:17,653
Grateful.
1188
01:42:20,960 --> 01:42:25,269
I'm really, really grateful
that I failed that night.
1189
01:42:28,054 --> 01:42:31,797
I wouldn't have had any of this
if it wasn't for that night.
1190
01:42:33,886 --> 01:42:35,845
I'm really grateful to be alive.
1191
01:42:42,982 --> 01:42:44,288
So, thank you.
1192
01:42:49,598 --> 01:42:50,860
Can I hug you?
1193
01:42:51,904 --> 01:42:52,992
Of course.
1194
01:42:55,647 --> 01:42:56,822
Come here.
1195
01:43:25,503 --> 01:43:26,852
You ready?
1196
01:43:26,852 --> 01:43:28,811
Are you ready?
1197
01:43:52,791 --> 01:43:54,445
Hey, Mom.
1198
01:44:07,110 --> 01:44:08,067
It's okay.
1199
01:44:09,765 --> 01:44:10,679
It's okay.
1200
01:44:21,037 --> 01:44:23,474
I've never actually
been here before.
1201
01:44:23,474 --> 01:44:27,739
Yeah, my whole family
came here on a trip once.
1202
01:44:27,739 --> 01:44:29,611
My dad had never been
to San Francisco before.
1203
01:44:29,611 --> 01:44:33,658
And yeah, we brought him.
1204
01:44:33,658 --> 01:44:37,401
Every time I think of him,
I picture him right here.
1205
01:44:37,401 --> 01:44:39,490
All my family, really,
especially today.
1206
01:44:48,760 --> 01:44:49,761
Holy shit.
1207
01:44:50,849 --> 01:44:52,634
You are it for me.
1208
01:44:55,463 --> 01:44:57,900
This is my grandmother's ring.
1209
01:44:57,900 --> 01:45:00,729
She wore it for 72 years.
1210
01:45:00,729 --> 01:45:02,296
It's yours if you'll have me.
1211
01:45:05,908 --> 01:45:07,649
Will you marry me?
1212
01:45:07,649 --> 01:45:09,651
- Yes.
- Yes?
1213
01:45:15,178 --> 01:45:16,092
She said yes!
1214
01:45:16,092 --> 01:45:17,006
Yes!
1215
01:46:57,149 --> 01:47:02,111
♪ God is weeping ♪
1216
01:47:02,111 --> 01:47:07,203
♪ And teeth are gnashing ♪
1217
01:47:08,291 --> 01:47:12,513
♪ And his heart is aching ♪
1218
01:47:13,514 --> 01:47:15,951
♪ And ever breaking ♪
1219
01:47:21,304 --> 01:47:23,872
I'm genuinely happy.
1220
01:47:26,004 --> 01:47:27,876
Not all day, not every day.
1221
01:47:27,876 --> 01:47:32,489
You know, life's not perfect,
but it's getting there.
1222
01:47:35,536 --> 01:47:37,015
God, if you told me
that my life
1223
01:47:37,015 --> 01:47:39,453
would look like this
a year ago,
1224
01:47:39,714 --> 01:47:44,458
I would've told you, you
do need to be sober.
1225
01:47:46,024 --> 01:47:51,073
I'm just so in love my life.
1226
01:47:54,337 --> 01:47:56,034
It's the only word that
keeps coming in my mind.
1227
01:47:56,034 --> 01:47:57,514
Not Dean!
1228
01:47:57,514 --> 01:47:59,821
Love, love, love.
1229
01:48:01,387 --> 01:48:02,301
Grateful.
1230
01:48:05,696 --> 01:48:10,092
I'm really, really grateful
that I failed that night.
1231
01:48:10,092 --> 01:48:12,834
♪ Bells are ringing ♪
1232
01:48:12,834 --> 01:48:14,009
I wouldn't
have had any of this
1233
01:48:14,009 --> 01:48:15,489
if it wasn't for that night.
1234
01:48:15,489 --> 01:48:19,231
♪ And sirens are calling ♪
1235
01:48:19,231 --> 01:48:21,146
I'm really
grateful to be alive.
1236
01:48:21,146 --> 01:48:24,236
♪ Those who are weary ♪
1237
01:48:24,236 --> 01:48:26,238
So thank you.
1238
01:48:26,238 --> 01:48:31,374
♪ Of the darkness falling ♪
1239
01:48:35,726 --> 01:48:40,775
♪ And heaven is sleeping ♪
1240
01:48:41,906 --> 01:48:46,302
♪ Above thunder and lightning ♪
1241
01:48:47,433 --> 01:48:51,960
♪ And the devil is laughing ♪
1242
01:48:53,048 --> 01:48:56,051
♪ At the darkness falling ♪
1243
01:49:01,796 --> 01:49:06,888
♪ mm, mm, mm ♪
1244
01:49:23,165 --> 01:49:25,515
♪ Ooh, ooh
1245
01:49:34,524 --> 01:49:36,831
♪ Ooh, ooh
1246
01:49:43,577 --> 01:49:46,797
♪ Ooh, ooh
1247
01:49:55,501 --> 01:49:57,068
I saw it all.
1248
01:50:00,245 --> 01:50:02,073
What could have been.
1249
01:50:08,689 --> 01:50:11,082
This time, I choose to live.
1250
01:50:24,705 --> 01:50:28,273
♪ I was broken ♪
1251
01:50:28,273 --> 01:50:30,449
♪ I'll stay ♪
1252
01:50:30,449 --> 01:50:35,541
♪ No voice, the choice
could be trusted ♪
1253
01:50:36,586 --> 01:50:40,677
♪ Hope for me was a lie ♪
1254
01:50:40,677 --> 01:50:45,769
♪ Just another reason to cry ♪
1255
01:50:46,727 --> 01:50:51,427
♪ Lost I must confess ♪
1256
01:50:52,515 --> 01:50:56,475
♪ Taking up space at best ♪
1257
01:50:56,475 --> 01:51:01,393
♪ No guiding light through
the darkness inside ♪
1258
01:51:01,393 --> 01:51:06,007
♪ And longing to
lay it to res t ♪
1259
01:51:06,007 --> 01:51:11,142
♪ Everything looks
so different to me ♪
1260
01:51:12,404 --> 01:51:16,670
♪ When you come
out of the dark ♪
1261
01:51:18,236 --> 01:51:21,849
♪ You showed me that
rock-bottom could be ♪
1262
01:51:22,980 --> 01:51:27,158
♪ A beautiful place to star t ♪
1263
01:51:28,507 --> 01:51:33,556
♪ You gave me your love ♪
1264
01:51:34,513 --> 01:51:38,300
♪ You showed me your heart ♪
1265
01:51:38,300 --> 01:51:43,174
♪ I found a place where
I could feel safe ♪
1266
01:51:43,174 --> 01:51:47,744
♪ Inside your loving arms ♪
1267
01:51:47,744 --> 01:51:52,880
♪ Everything looks
so different to me ♪
1268
01:51:54,142 --> 01:51:58,015
♪ When you come
out of the dark ♪
1269
01:51:58,015 --> 01:52:00,626
♪ You showed me ♪
1270
01:52:00,626 --> 01:52:03,107
♪ That rock-bottom could be ♪
1271
01:52:03,107 --> 01:52:06,981
♪ A beautiful place to star t ♪